How to behave during a negotiation

I’ve heard of all sorts of tactics used by people to try to gain the upper hand during negotiations, for example, one party arranging the negotiating table so that the sun will constantly be in the counterparties’ eyes, seating the counterparty in uncomfortable chairs, or bringing along a disproportionate number of co-negotiators to outnumber – and therefore apply more pressure to – the other side. However, these types of tactics often prove counterproductive, as such tit-for-tat manoeuvres can spiral out of control and negatively impact working relationships. These negotiations invariably prove frustrating and expensive for all involved, and often break down even when solutions exist that could have satisfied everyone’s interests. Now of course, different people will respond better to different approaches during a negotiation, so try to use your emotional intelligence to gauge which approaches are likely to work most effectively in a given scenario. 

Whilst an aggressive, uncooperative approach can reduce trust and amicable feelings between the parties, a collaborative and conciliatory approach is much more likely to preserve business relationships, which can be conducive to the continuation of commercial activity between the parties in the future. In other words, generally aim to negotiate “with”, not “against” the other side. Making concessions where possible can help you to win points that are more valuable and may increase the likelihood of you reaching an agreement that leaves everybody happy (or at least partially satisfied). That being said, you may want to avoid conceding too much too early on, as this could subsequently leave you without bargaining power when discussing other terms. You could consider negotiating an unimportant issue to some extent, so that when you then concede the issue, the other side feels as if they have won a point. You could then later leverage this concession to demonstrate how reasonable you are being.

Eliciting information

During a negotiation, try to understand the other side’s motivations. You should primarily be asking questions, listening attentively, proposing solutions and trying to brainstorm new alternatives if you and the other side can’t reach an agreement. Focusing on interests rather than positions and power tactics – and identifying areas of commonality and compatibility – may help you to reach better compromises and result in the negotiation progressing more amicably and efficiently. It really helps if you can empathise withthe other side’s perspective, which involves trying to understand where they are coming from. 

Asking open questions can encourage the other side to explain their objectives and priorities, which can help to promote active discussions and clarify motivations. This in turn should increase the likelihood that both sides will remain willing to explore all possible outcomes and potential solutions. The more information you have to assess the facts and circumstances, the higher the likelihood that you will think of effective ways to compromise. So keep asking questions.

Once you have better understood the other side’s position, and any assumptions on which they are basing that position, you could perhaps challenge some of those assumptions. Doing so may help you to ascertain whether they are basing their position on incorrect information or have a particular concern or motivation of which you were previously unaware. Once you have all the relevant information in hand, you may find that there are multiple possible routes to a good outcome, and this is where you can get creative. Thinking creatively and flexibly may help you to come up with a solution that satisfies everyone involved, which can be much more productive than taking a hard-line approach.