Please tell us about a goal you set out to achieve. Why was this important to you and what was the outcome? (300 words max)*   

Following my move to [country 1] from [country 2] to complete my education, I experienced a drastic change in my learning and living environment which adversely affected my motivation and my academic performance.          

Feedback: This question is phrased similarly to competency/”tell me about a time when...” questions that most firms will ask of you. For this type of question, the type of goal you choose matters less than your breakdown of each step you took and the competencies you displayed. You must identify (1) the goal you set out to achieve and why you wanted to achieve it, (2) what steps you took to achieve it and (3) the outcome.

Here, the candidate quickly identifies a challenge they faced. Implictly, the candidate’s goal was to overcome their difficult circumstances and improve their academic performance. The candidate could have addressed the “goal” explicitly. Otherwise, this is a good start to the question.

To overcome this, I created a (sport) training program with the goal to complete a ten-kilometer run to promote physical and mental well-being, especially in mitigating feelings of stress and homesickness. Through this, I hoped to ultimately enhance my academic performance. To create this program, I utilised a variety of cross-fit training websites to help me personalise a system that would be most effective in achieving my goal. Although I initially experienced slow progress, I adapted my training to my strengths and weaknesses in order to enhance my performance. Specifically, I altered my cardiovascular training by implementing additional five-kilometer runs to address my most profound weaknesses.  

Feedback: This is a strong and convincing paragraph. The candidate has done well to identify (1) the specific steps they took and (2) how those steps contributed to the candidate’s wider objectives. You should note that the candidate does not spell out the competencies to the recruiter. Instead, the candidate shows their competencies by identifying the steps they took and explaining how they helped the candidate achieve their goal. It is always best to show your competencies by detailing specific examples, as opposed to spelling them out by name. Here, the candidate clearly demonstrates that they can take the initiative and work innovatively.

To improve, the candidate could more clearly explain how the sport training program relates to their goal. Though it might seem self-explanatory that a sport training program would improve your wellbeing (and so overall academic performance), this is not completely clear from the candidate’s writing.

I introduced my programme to my friends, who joined me in exercising three times per week after school. This programme therefore not only helped me address psychological hurdles, it also allowed me to build strong relationships with other students also living at school, helping me to quickly adapt to my new environment. This ultimately facilitated favourable grades in each of my subjects, also culminating in my (Name of Award) and (Name of Award), whilst allowing me to form long-lasting friendships. After six months of training, I completed the 10km marathon, which to me, was a sign of how far I have accomplished in overcoming emotional challenges. I still follow an adaptation of the original program to this day with continual alterations. 

Feedback: Once again, this is a strong paragraph. The candidate “shows” what they did rather then spelling out competencies for the recruiter. You should also note that the candidate uses specific details to create a strong and concise paragraph. We know that the candidate not only achieved named academic rewards and prizes as a result of their efforts, but they also made another achievement in completing the 10km marathon. You should also note how the candidate’s achievement specifically relates to their goal, namely to improve their academic performance and wellbeing.

Despite this answer being short (in line with the word count), it is well-crafted and should guide your own answers.

Describe a time when you have pushed yourself outside of your comfort zone

Starting university, I was interested in debating, but I did not know anyone else interested in joining. Being in a new environment alone for the first time intimidated me, so I spent the first semester in my comfort zone and not attending. I kept up with the society online, and I decided I needed to join.

I set myself two rules, I had to try it for a month and I had to actively participate in every session. Every Tuesday for a month I would go and ask questions, start talking to people and then join in with a practice debate. Getting involved meant doing more than just participating in a debate but also ensuring I integrated myself into the society and got to know the people.

After enjoying it, I committed to debating and began attending tournaments at a Regional, National and, this year, European level. My commitment was rewarded by being selected as Public Relations Officer for my second year.

I discovered I really enjoy meeting new people, especially in an environment where there are so many different opinions, beliefs and interests. It has opened me to a variety of new perspectives and developed my ability to listen and learn from other people. I enjoyed challenging myself and setting myself new goals. It has developed my confidence to try things, outwith my comfort zone. I also found learning a new skill stimulating, rather than something to get frustrated with and give up on.

Feedback: Overall, this is a strong response that addresses the question (namely ‘stepping outside your comfort zone’). The candidate adopts the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) structure well. They start by identifying a specific situation (namely their reluctance to join the university debating society), before explaining how their participation developed over time and culminated in a tangible result (i.e. their eventual leadership well). The candidate explains the specific tasks and actions well (following their initial outline of the situation). In doing so, the candidate drills down on their specific decision-making process and how they set concrete personal rules to secure their commitment. Finally, the candidate concludes with a neat ‘result’ paragraph that highlights their specific achievements in debating (together with the personal growth they experienced throughout). This results in a coherent and well-explained paragraph that details the candidate’s specific personal experiences in relation to the question.

To improve, the candidate should have mentioned some specific examples of obstacles they encountered during debates or responsibilities they handled as an officer to enhance the depth of the response. The candidate should also strengthen their response by directly linking the takeaways from this experience to how it could benefit them as a trainee or commercial lawyer. The candidate could also consider enhancing the response by mentioning how the takeaways from this experience or the skills developed through debating are aligned with the firm’s values.

Please tell us about an outstanding personal achievement which added value to either your academic or working environment.

My proudest achievement was creating the [redacted organisation] exhibit, which celebrated the 2019 centenary of women being allowed to practice law. The exhibit told the history and milestones of women in the law through a historic timeline of the last 100 years.

[Feedback: This question invites an answer with a STAR (situation, task, action, response/result) or a CAR (context, action, result) structure. The candidate’s first paragraph does well to introduce their example’s context, explaining that they created an exhibit and what that exhibit was about.]

The process involved writing biographies of pioneering women in law, undertaking historical research at archives such as the LSE Women’s Library. I curated the photographs to be used in the exhibition and gained permission from the copyright holders to use them in the exhibit. This task required extensive research into copyright law and meticulous organisation. I coordinated with our law firm sponsor, various academics, and a graphic designer to ensure the exhibit was accurate, informative and eye-catching. 

[Feedback:  This paragraph covers what the candidate actually did in their cited example. This answer is good, providing decent levels of specificity and clearly explaining what they did and why.

To improve this paragraph, the candidate could have gone into a little more detail about what they did in their tasks. For example, instead of citing that the task required ‘meticulous organisation’, the candidate could have explained how they kept organised (for example, using a triage system to assist with the prioritisation of sub-tasks, or using a Gantt chart).

Some extra information about what copyright law was researched would have also helped the candidate explain why their task was challenging and important, and how their problem-solving skills/determination aided their work.]

The exhibit went on to be displayed at the Supreme Court, as well as many law firms and universities, and was seen by over one million people. I feel very proud to have increased awareness about the short but inspiring history of women in the law, and hopefully to have provoked people to consider how equal today’s society truly is.

[Feedback: This is a nice conclusion: the candidate clearly explains what the result and response was to their cited example. Furthermore, the conclusion gives some indication of why this work was important to the candidate.

However, the main point of improvement regarding this response/result paragraph is to do with linking back to the question. The question asks for a personal achievement which ‘added value to either your academic or working environment’. Unfortunately, this answer does not directly address the question. Whilst the candidate has certainly garnered a great achievement, they have not explained how such an achievement added value to their academic or working environment. Indeed, it seems difficult to see how it would link to the candidate’s wider academics or work.

Consequently, an interpretation of the question that seems more probable is that the question wants candidates to write about something they did within a project/situation which added value to the said project/situation. Hence, the candidate would need to discuss what they achieved in their role in creating the exhibit and explain how that achievement contributed to the overall success of the exhibit.

Make sure to read the question thoroughly and understand exactly what it is looking for prior to writing your answer. Candidates who have submitted several applications or have answers preprepared tend to copy and paste or regurgitate answers. Whilst this saves time, you run the risk of not properly addressing the question at hand or making mistakes, such as using the wrong firm’s name.

Beyond reading and rereading the question, you should proofread your work carefully, spending a significant amount of time checking whether your answer is free of typographical and content errors, and ensuring whether your answer actually addresses the question as written on the application form at hand.]

What achievement are you most proud of and why? (200 words)

My greatest accomplishment is achieving a first-class honours in my law degree. I am proud because I managed this while getting involved in a number of activities and clubs at university. As an open-minded and enthusiastic person, I looked to join something new so played for the korfball team where I enjoyed training and competing as part of a team in a different sport. In addition, I volunteered for [university] Nightline, a listening service for students, working 13-hour night shifts taking calls on a variety of issues. Calls included extremely serious and sensitive topics but I was fulfilled to know that I was helping someone who may have been struggling with their time at university. Through extensive training I learned how listening is fundamental to solving problems and that empathy is an essential skill to adapt to a situation. Being able to keep up with my studies alongside these activities to achieve a first I believe demonstrates my hardworking attitude and willingness to get involved in all opportunities.

[Feedback: This paragraph is effective because it follows a logical structure, which allows the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease. To achieve a similar effect in your answers, we recommend that you follow the “PEEL” structure (“point”, “explanation”, “evidence”, “link”), as the candidate does in this case. They make it clear that their proudest achievement is obtaining a first-class honours in their law degree (“P”) because they did so whilst pursuing multiple extra-curricular activities (“E”). In support of this claim, they present the reader with two pertinent examples (“E”). The last sentence implies that the candidate’s ability to manage their time effectively, as demonstrated by the examples, is compatible with a career as a solicitor (“L”). 

Although achieving a first-class honours in your law degree whilst pursuing several extra-curricular activities is certainly a substantive, impressive accomplishment, we would suggest that you avoid discussing it in response to questions like this one because numerous other candidates will likely do so, too. As such, it will be challenging to make your answer stand out. 

What achievement are you most proud of and why? (350)

• How did you challenge yourself in the process?

• Were there any set-backs you had to overcome?

• Which skills did you use to achieve this?

During my time working at the [redacted automotive services company], I dealt with a wide range of customers seeking legal advice. I was particularly proud to receive a formal commendation for helping a suicidal woman through a complex legal dispute that was causing her immense stress.

The client was dealing with nuisance neighbours and a convoluted boundary dispute. The details of the case were multifaceted and dated back several years. She had reached a point where she felt as though she may as well ‘not wake up tomorrow’ because she did not know what else to do.

I spent significant time building trust with the client because she was suicidal, and I knew she felt let-down by the council and the police. She had previously been misadvised and was understandably hesitant to take further action that would be incorrect.

I listened carefully to the client, extracting the relevant information and conducting a thorough review of the case file.

I then ordered this information chronologically to gain a holistic overview of case’s trajectory.

Having compartmentalised the issues, I worked through each individually, applying my knowledge of Tort, Property and Criminal Law.

I confidently explained the client’s legal position and suggested a series of practical next steps she could take to incrementally resolve the dispute.

I also made assurances to the client that I would be available for further clarification by email or phone.

Feedback:  The candidate did not need to space out each of their separate steps here. It makes the candidate’s writing quite clunky and disjointed to read.

The client later informed my manager that my advice had not only helped to solve the problem but more importantly, I had made her feel significantly more positive in herself. My manager listened to a recording of the call, and I subsequently received a formal commendation. In my appraisal, I was specifically praised for my resilience and handling of the difficult situation, particularly as I had only recently finished training.

I was very grateful that I had given the client hope in a desperate situation and proud that my advice had gone beyond resolving just a legal dispute.

Feedback: This answer is reasonably effective because it follows a logical structure, which means the recruiter can follow the candidate’s reasoning with relative ease. To achieve the same effect in your answers, you should follow the “PEEL” structure (point/evidence/explanation/link) as the candidate generally does here. The candidate makes it clear that their proudest achievement is helping this client resolve legal difficulties in extremely sensitive circumstances (P) before indicating that this was because of said circumstances (E). Then, the candidate walks the reader through examples of the steps they took in helping this client through the legal situation (E). Finally, the candidate implies that their resilience, as demonstrated by their examples, is compatible with a career as a solicitor (L).

That said, the candidate does not address the setbacks they faced nor the skills they used to overcome said obstacles. This is problematic because the question specifically asks you to discuss these setbacks. As such, the candidate would need to explain concisely what obstacles they faced in helping this client, before analysing how they applied their skills to achieve a positive outcome.

The candidate does make a punctuation error at one point - “let-down” should be “let down”. We would also flag that this language is rather informal. Though it might seem like a minor point, some recruiters will reject your application automatically based on such slip-ups. As such, you need to comb through each and every sentence carefully to minimise the risks of grammatical issues and typos.

You have told us about your academic achievements and work experience and now, in no more than 600 words, we are keen to hear more about you. This should include your extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility and an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.

[Feedback: Clifford Chance changed its application form in 2018/19.  Rather than several short answers, candidates are asked to write a longer-form answer.  This is similar to the Freshfields and Slaughter and May’s application forms.  Longer word counts provide less inherent structure for candidates to follow.  This leads to greater differentiation between candidates’ quality of responses. 

In order to write an effective answer, you should:

●      carefully think through what you want to say by bullet-pointing a draft answer before you put pen to paper.  Clarity of writing usually follows clarity of thought.  Think of what you want to say, then say it as simply as possible

●      notwithstanding the longer word count, write as succinctly as possible.  Avoid long, essay-style sentences.  If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out

●      carefully structure individual paragraphs, utilising the PEE framework (more on this below).] 

I enjoy voluntary charity work. For instance, I undertook [major accountancy firm’s corporate] challenge, during which I led a sub-team of four to raise money for [redacted] charity, beginning with a seed fund of £1. As the leader, I organised family fundraising days, car washes, and bake sales to raise money and I visited local entrepreneurs asking for donations as the charity aided those in third world countries attempting to set up their own businesses. My team and I raised £3000+ in one month and successfully secured a work placement with [major accountancy firm].

[Feedback: This is a great achievement, but the candidate could improve the structure of this paragraph.  Like the candidate, you should put achievements in context.  It’s meaningless to say you were awarded a scholarship; you must say “X scholarship awarded to the top 4 students out of a class of 1,000 students”.  In this case, the candidate states the name of the challenge and the amount of money raised for charity, which helps the reviewer distinguish this from lesser efforts.  The accountancy firm enjoys significant name recognition - winning an internship at the firm as a result of this challenge is an achievement.

Rather than diving straight into the answer, we would add a short upfront paragraph to signpost what we are going to talk about.  This “answer first” mentality helps the reviewer follow your logic.]

As for positions of responsibility, this includes being a Student Representative for students on my degree, so they have a point of access for any aid they need. I am also currently a Student Ambassador and aid the [non-Law] department with prospective students and parents. With the former role, I regularly attend departmental meetings wherein I represent course students' views. Though the department is small, wider student inclusion is low but with my idea of setting up socials such as a pizza party, this has improved marginally.

[Feedback This paragraph is less good.  It’s better to provide a single, developed example instead of listing a series of accomplishments or positions of responsibility.  If you want to allude to the varied experience that you have, pitch it as “In addition to my extracurricular roles as student representative for my degree programme and captain of my university college tennis club, I acted as the vice president of my university’s law society.  In this role, I…”.

It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that this candidate has not had many substantive positions of responsibility.  You should get involved in at least one significant position of responsibility while at university.  You can then refer back to your responsibilities in this role as examples of how you developed attributes which law firms value, such as organisational ability, communication skills, commercial outlook and teamwork.

Finally, don’t do yourself down.  The candidate notes that the impact of their initiative was marginal.  If you don’t value it, why should anyone else?  This is not the time for modesty.  While you should not make any outlandish or unsubstantiated claims, you must not undersell yourself.]

My greatest achievement to date is having secured an offer to study [non-law course] at the University of [redacted] whilst at Sixth Form. The Sixth Form I attended had only opened five years earlier when I applied in 2016, so courses offered by the Sixth Form were limited. Moreover, due to the majority of students, myself included, coming from a financially deprived, first generation and ethnic minority background, undertaking STEM subjects at an A-Level standard was encouraged. I, myself had little guidance and assumed taking majority STEM subjects at A-Level would be the best idea as it ensured a guaranteed financially stable job, if pursued career wise. However, mid-way through my first year of A-Levels, I realised my mistake and that my actual passion was in the Humanities and Social Sciences.

I failed a few STEM related A-Levels due to this, and then retook my A-Levels with subjects I was truly passionate about, and therefore achieved far superior grades. When it came to the university application process, I decided to apply to the University of [redacted], despite having a few U grades, but knowing I had become a strong candidate.

However, I had no connections to the university and my Sixth Form also had no prior history of students applying to Oxbridge, let alone students getting offers. Getting through the process was based on my own hard work, pure ambition and all the research I undertook. The offer to study then, was based on an assessed piece of written work, three interviews and ultimately academic and extra-curricular excellence. In the lead up to my application, I ensured work in all subjects I was studying was consistently at the top of the class, as well as reading outside of the subjects to provide me with a wider perspective. As well as this, I consistently undertook various charitable roles such as raising money for charity and peer support roles such as mentoring students in lower years. These roles were conducted within and outside of the academic setting. It was due to this determination of mine to succeed, that the university was able to note how I improved my grades drastically after having chosen subjects I thoroughly enjoyed and noted I was a well-rounded candidate. As a result of my strong testing throughout the process, [redacted] College offered me an undergraduate place to study, with one of the professors emailing me personally to let me know in one of the interviews, all three interviewers were impressed. 

[Feedback: This is a very personal example which probably made all of the difference to this application. 

Law firms are conscious of the need to promote diversity within the legal profession.  The candidate is right to emphasise his or her background as someone that is typically underrepresented.  This helps provide wider context on the candidate’s grades, but also explains specifically why the achievement is impressive.  Ultimately, if the candidate is borderline, Graduate Recruitment are likely to grant them the benefit of the doubt and invite for an interview based on this context.

While the achievement itself is impressive, the structure of the answer needs work.  We generally recommend the Point, Evidence and Explanation framework where you want to provide evidence of 2 - 3 different attributes.  In this case, the Situation, Task, Action, Result and Takeaway framework works better.  We would structure this answer as follows:

●      Situation - Explain background to provide context on why winning a place at Oxbridge was especially difficult

●      Task - Split this into two sub-tasks:

○      Successfully switch to A-Levels which you are more suited to

○      Successfully apply to Oxbridge

●      Action - Explain what you did differently to improve your results.  It’s unlikely to just be the result of passion, so explain how you applied yourself differently and the obstacles that you overcame (if any in addition to your background) which enabled you to achieve your goals

●      Results - Link to objective proof of your accomplishments (i.e. (1) academic grades achieved, (2) place at Oxbridge and (3) personal follow-up from tutor)

●      Takeaway - Identify what you learnt as a result of this experience. 

○      We suggest the key lesson here is that pursuing subjects and goals that you are well-suited to and therefore likely to become passionate about is a fruitful strategy for success. 

○      You can use your final sentence to link back to your pursuit of a career in law, summing up why you are well-suited to it and evidencing your passion in one succinct sentence.

Overall, this is a good but imperfect application.  Combined with strong grades and relevant work experience, it is right that it was successful.  However, there are some improvement points which, if made, would really elevate this application to the next level.]

You have told us about your academic achievements and work experience and now, in no more than 600 words, we are keen to hear more about you. This should include your extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility and an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.
 600/600 words

My proudest achievement stems from my involvement in my university's Brass Band. As concert manager, I saw the need to raise additional funds for the society to allow us to expand our ability to teach students to play brass for free, something for which there is significant demand at the university. I took the initiative to organise 18 carolling events involving all 45 band members, which took place over a two-week period. In organising the events, I placed an emphasis on maintaining pre-existing relationships with retailers, as well as personally seeking out new opportunities to extend our fundraising capabilities. For example, I contacted the local council regarding playing at their Christmas market and negotiated our place as the headline act on the opening evening. One of the largest challenges I faced arose when one of our key venues, which had previously been responsible for over 60% of our revenue, informed me a week before our first event that they could no longer accommodate us due to building works. However, having developed a bank of contacts in the community, I was able to utilise these, organising multiple events at the last minute. Having three events running simultaneously on some evenings meant it was necessary to ensure that everyone was in the right place, at the right time. By efficiently communicating with other members of the bands committee, I was able to ensure that transport and equipment were always confirmed and organised well ahead of the performances, meaning there were no problems on the night. Due to my abilities as concert manager, the band performed more events than ever before, raising over £3,600, a £2,000 increase on previous years.

[Feedback: With only 600 words to use, you should be mindful of how many words you allocate to each topic of discussion. The question itself suggests a particular structure, namely, discussing your:

1. extra-curricular activities;

2. positions of responsibility; and

3. an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.

We recommend sticking to these topics and dividing them equally, such that you spend approximately 200 words per area. This will allow you to answer the question in a balanced and structured manner.

In this first paragraph, the candidate addresses the third point: their proudest achievement. Overall, the candidate has done well, especially concerning their structure. These kinds of responses require a situation, task, action, result (‘STAR’) structure or a context, action, result (‘CAR’) structure. The main difference between the two structures is that the ‘context’ in the CAR structure covers what the STAR structure splits up over ‘situation’ and ‘task’. Both structures first aim to set out the necessary background information and describe a problem you must overcome. Then, you should discuss what you did to overcome this problem and the overall result.

The candidate’s answer is an excellent example of the implementation of the STAR/CAR structure. You should note that the first two sentences quickly establish the necessary context to understand the candidate’s answer. They describe not only what their role was but also what their task was. Importantly, they explain why their task was necessary. This helps the recruiter understand the magnitude of the situation and makes your answer more persuasive. The candidate goes on to describe some specific problems they faced in their role and how they overcame them. Crucially, at the end of their answer, the candidate describes the result of their actions. You should not forget this last point: it is essential to stress why your actions were important and whether they were effective or meaningful.

The candidate also does well in providing specific detail to substantiate their argument. For instance, the candidate uses specific statistics throughout their answer. You should notice that the candidate specifies the number of carolling events and band members, the percentage of revenue that a venue was responsible for, the number of simultaneous events running, and the raw increase in the amount of money raised compared to the previous years. This not only makes the answer more colourful and engaging but also makes the answer more believable.

You should remember not to assume that the recruiter will infer things in your favour – if the candidate had made a broad claim that their actions increased the amount of money raised compared to previous years without providing the exact figures, the recruiter could instead assume that they only made an insignificant amount more. Therefore, do not leave it up to chance; you must include specific details to show off your achievements and make your answer as engaging as possible.

Finally, this candidate has done very well in incorporating multiple ‘task’ sections in their answer while still keeping their answer readable. You should note that the candidate mentions two key problems or ‘tasks’ that the candidate needed to tackle: the need to raise additional funds and the issue regarding an important venue pulling out. The candidate manages to deal with two issues in one answer, as the latter issue is nested within the first. The overarching issue is the need to raise funds; however, in the candidate’s attempt to solve that issue, the problem regarding the venue was precipitated.

This is an excellent way to discuss a personal experience that involves multiple challenges. However, if you decide to mirror this candidate’s approach, you must ensure that you return to the overarching problem and conclude the answer appropriately. In this instance, the candidate describes how they resolved the venue issue before describing the results of their actions and how they managed to raise more money than in previous years (resolving the broader issue they first raised).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise with some of their descriptions and claims. Broadly speaking, whilst the candidate has included a good level of detail in their answer, some of their writing is overly vague. For instance, the candidate does not take the opportunity to name certain institutions and organisations. Whilst this may seem like a minor point to criticise, the inclusion of this detail would have helped the overall credence of this answer and made it more relatable to the recruiter. For example, the candidate could have specified the council they contacted (such as Hampshire County Council) instead of writing' the local council'. Similarly, the candidate could have given an example of some of the ‘retailers’ they had ‘pre-existing relationships’ with.

Similarly, the candidate writes that they ‘negotiated ‘ with the local county council, and ‘[b]y efficiently communicating with other members’ they ensured that there were no problems on the night. These statements could have done with some more substantiating evidence. Instead of simply claiming that they ‘negotiated’, it would have been good to see some examples of how they negotiated with the council. Likewise, instead of the candidate merely writing that they ‘efficiently communicat[ed]’, they could have explained how they did so and given an example of what they did. It is always best to show the recruiter rather than to tell the recruiter: personal evidence and explanation not only make part of your claim for you but also simultaneously prove it.

Finally, the candidate could have provided one or two sentences at the end of their answer to explain why they are ‘most proud’ of this achievement. Whilst the achievement is undoubtedly impressive, the candidate could have been more explicit in their reasons for selecting this answer in particular. You should remember to use the terms of the question in your responses; by doing so, you will ensure that the recruiter sees that you answer the question directly.]

In addition, I am an active member of the university Law Society, with particular involvement in the Commercial Negotiation Competition. The competition has vastly improved my commercial awareness, as the negotiations were based upon business news stories, and a strong understanding of these was necessary to succeed. Having never met my partner before the competition, we had to quickly form a working relationship and decide the best way to divide the negotiation points, demonstrating teamwork and adaptability. We went on to win the first-year competition, and I have subsequently been asked to sit on the sub-committee and judge this years negotiations. I have also taken it upon myself to mentor several new teams, teaching them how to structure their points, and build their commercial acumen.

[Feedback:In this section, the candidate shifts to discussing a position of responsibility. For these kinds of responses, you may adopt a STAR or CAR structure or instead choose a point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link (‘PEEL’) structure. The candidate appears to have gone with a CAR-like structure in this instance.

The candidate has done well to write clearly and succinctly, detailing not only what their role was but also some specific things they undertook in the position. You should note how the partner goes into a particular experience that they had as part of the Law Society. This is excellent and helps to make the answer more engaging and persuasive. You should remember that the recruiter does not know you personally; therefore, any detailed examples you provide help them build a better picture of who you are and why you would make a good trainee solicitor.

The candidate also highlights multiple competencies in their answer. These kinds of responses allow you to show off your best traits. Hence, although the response is focused on a position of responsibility, the candidate has taken the opportunity to show what their occupation of that position says about them and what skills they developed in the role. For instance, the candidate writes that as part of their engagement in the Law Society’s Commercial Negotiation Competition, they ‘vastly improved my commercial awareness’, and they were able to demonstrate ‘teamwork and adaptability’. This is excellent as the recruiter will not find your positions of responsibility impressive on their own. Instead, the competencies which you can show or develop via the roles are what they are interested in.

Finally, the candidate does very well in ending their response by mentioning what they did after their experience. This is a nice end to the answer as it shows that the candidate’s interest in negotiations and the Law Society is more than a superficial interest. Furthermore, by describing that they took on a mentorship position, the candidate demonstrates further competencies: leadership and the ability to teach. You should look to describe what your experiences led you to do, where possible. The recruiter wants to see evidence that you are actually interested in something. The best way to prove this is to show that you took the initiative and found another related experience to further your interest.

To further improve this answer, the candidate could have given some more details about how they accomplished what they claimed. For instance, the candidate writes that they ‘had to quickly form a working relationship and decide the best way to divide the negotiation points’. However, they do not go into any detail as to what steps they actually undertook to achieve this. Once again, you should always provide substantiating evidence for everything you write. If you leave out this detail, you risk the recruiter becoming disinterested in or sceptical of your work.

Finally, the candidate should have been mindful of making typographical errors. In their penultimate sentence, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing ‘judge this years negotiations’. Be careful of making these kinds of mistakes. The process of getting a training contract or vacation scheme is incredibly competitive due to the increasing number of applicants. Therefore, recruiters are less forgiving of typographical errors. Whilst such a mistake may not necessarily lead to an instant rejection of your application, some recruiters discard applications if they see an error, even if the candidate has provided strong answers. Hence, you should proofread your work using Microsoft Word’s spellchecker or Grammarly to identify hard-to-spot mistakes. You can also give your application to a trusted family member or friend to proofread your answers. Typographical errors are easy to make and easy to rectify; however, if they are found in your work, you risk your application being unduly rejected.]

In my further role on the Law Society non-law committee, I work to help facilitate access into the legal profession for non-law students, and increase their participation in Law Society events. This includes being the Law Society representative for 1,500+ Politics students. I am their first port of call for any queries about entering the legal profession. Most notably within this role, I helped organise and publicise a law for non-law panel event which saw trainees from eight different firms who studied non-law degrees speaking about their experiences to over 100 students from a range of backgrounds, encouraging them to enter the profession.

[Feedback: For a short, 100-word response, this section includes a good amount of detail. The candidate discusses another position of responsibility; however, in this section, they adopt a PEEL-like structure. You should note how the candidate discusses their role before giving an example of what they did in the role. This example helps to flesh out the candidate’s answer and proves that the role is more than a title. Furthermore, the candidate includes a substantial level of detail in their answer. The candidate specifies the number of Politics students they represent, the number of firms represented on the panel they organised, and the attendance number. These are excellent statistics to have included as they evidence the magnitude of the candidate’s responsibility and the impressiveness of their actions.

It is challenging to suggest points of improvement for this answer. Like the section below, the candidate does not have many words to dedicate to this section. Therefore, the candidate must necessarily be brief in their descriptions. However, you should note that whilst the candidate cannot expound on more examples of their work, they do not compromise on detail and include at least one piece of detailed, elucidatory evidence. Hence, this answer should serve as a model for how to give a good response even where the word count is less than accommodating.]

Outside of academia, I am also heavily involved in sports. As well as competing for the university horse riding team, I am the Equestrian Club Social Secretary. My role entails organising up to three socials a week for as many as 80 people, from meals out to weekend trips. I have also created a marketing campaign centred on inclusivity and maximising participation, which has led to a 35% increase in membership. In addition, I also train 10 times a week as a member of the university rowing performance squad, travelling around the country for competitions.

[Feedback: In this final section, the candidate discusses their extra-curricular activities. The candidate does well to include a lot of information about their activities, given the dwindling word count. You should note that the candidate continues to provide specific examples regarding their experiences and includes statistics. This is excellent and demonstrates the candidate’s commitment to an activity beyond casual interest. Whilst you may have many interests outside of academia, you should be prepared to evidence your commitment to them. Recruiters are looking for a genuine interest in an area that is substantiated either with significant achievement (for example, being a county-level Rugby player) or by considerable commitment (as this candidate has written about).

For your own answers, you should be prepared to discuss activities that do not have any relation to the law or academia. This candidate has chosen to focus their discussions on sport; however, you may have other hobbies or extra-curricular activities that you are passionate about. You should not feel embarrassed to discuss them, provided you have supporting evidence. You must remember that law firms are looking to hire well-rounded, interesting individuals. Intelligence is essential; however, having interests outside of work is becoming increasingly significant for candidates.

There are very few points of improvement for this section. The candidate had spent most of their word count on addressing other topics and could only spend 95 words on this section. Whilst we would suggest balancing your word count more evenly across your entire response, the candidate has done well despite the brevity of this section in including relevant points and a healthy amount of detail.]

Describe your proudest achievement and what challenges you have had to  overcome.

I take pride in my efforts with the [redacted  youth charity] where I  recognised and tackled a critical problem: the lack of sustainable career pathways  for at-risk youth in [redacted location]. I suggested organising a career fair but encountered  rejection due to funding concerns and discouragement from my internship supervisor 

who believed the project exceeded my role.

Feedback:The candidate approaches this first paragraph well. You will see that the candidate addresses the first two elements of the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) – namely the situation and task. The candidate provides a good general overview of these points. First, the candidate gets straight to the point in identifying an achievement which made them proud. They provide a concise insight into (1) the achievement and (2) the wider context, without going into excessive and unnecessary detail. Then, the candidate quickly identifies the specific challenge they faced and the task that resulted. In turn, this provides the recruiter a strong insight into the specific challenges and wider context without bombarding them with excessive details. You should aim for similar levels of brevity in your own writing. You should provide the recruiter with enough background to understand your key responsibilities/duties, before offering an outline of a specific situation you faced.

That said, the candidate’s writing is clunky in places. It currently takes up 57 words (out of a 200 word count), which is well over a quarter of the total count. Had the candidate written in the active voice consistently and varied their sentence structures, they could have saved words. For example, the candidate could have cut down the first sentence to “I tackled a critical problem during my time at [charity]”. The candidate could also have cut down the final sentence to “I suggested organising a career fair, but my supervisor rejected it both on funding grounds and because they believed it exceeded my capabilities.”  These reworked sentences communicate the same concepts, whilst trimming down excess information and any grammatical/writing issues.

Where possible, you should write in the active voice consistently and vary up your sentence structures as much as possible. Not only will this make your writing easier to read, but it will also save you words.

Undeterred, I incorporated a crowdfunding project into my proposal to the [redacted youth charity]  board. I recommended involving nearly 50 students from a local private school in  conducting independent campaigns to raise funds. This campaign prioritised  transparency, incorporating a newsletter and live fund tracker to keep students and  donors updated on progress. Emphasising the project’s business viability and relying  on volunteers and managerial personnel for the fair, I secured board approval. The  campaigns raised £450, and within a month the career fair became a reality. The  event drew local tradespersons offering jobs and training in plumbing, construction,  and electrical. Notably, 17 of the 45 attending youths secured immediate employment.

Feedback: The candidate now moves onto the essential core of competency questions – namely the actions/steps they took and the specific, quantified outcome that resulted from these steps.

The candidate addresses the “action” element of STAR well. You should note how the candidate gets straight to the point in summarising their specific, detailed steps. Instead of simply listing out their skills/competencies to the recruiter, the candidate outlines their specific actions and gives the recruiter plenty of space to infer their competencies as a result. For instance, the candidate spends the first part of this paragraph setting out (1) their recommendations to the board and (2) the exact methods they used to organise the fundraiser (such as by keeping a tracker and using a newsletter). This provides concrete, substantive evidence of the candidate’s organisation skills. Similarly, the candidate “shows” their persuasive/communication skills rather than simply “telling” the recruiter about them. They explain exactly how they persuaded the board, namely by emphasising its business viability and by making good use of volunteers/managerial personnel. This means the recruiter can infer and unpack the candidate’s skills from the various steps they describe. You should aim for a similar show-over-tell approach. Rather than listing out your skills (e.g. “I used my communication skills to persuade the board”), you should unpack precisely what steps you took to achieve your objective. The recruiter can then interpret your skills accordingly.

You should also note the levels of specific, quantified detail used by the candidate. The candidate does this throughout the paragraph. When describing their crowdfunding project, they quantify it by stating that their proposals included “50 students”. The candidate keeps this consistent when they describe the results/outcomes. We know exactly how much the campaigns raised, as well as the specific number of youths that secured employment immediately after the fair. This kind of detail makes the candidate’s writing far more persuasive. Not only does it give the recruiter insight into the scale of work carried out by the candidate, but it also gives full insight into the weight and tangible impact of the candidate’s achievements. You should aim for similar specificity in your own writing. You should illustrate your writing with specific details and quantified outcomes wherever possible.

That said, the candidate could have broken down their steps/actions in even more specific detail at times. A couple of the candidate’s steps/actions are quite vague. First, it’s not        quite clear precisely how the candidate involved the 50 students in the project nor why that helped the candidate raise funds. Secondly, the candidate mentions that they incorporated a newsletter and live fund tracker. They do not provide any insight into what this newsletter/tracker involved, nor precisely how they helped the candidate persuade the board. The candidate also mentions a reliance on volunteers/managerial personnel, but it is not clear how this helped the candidate persuade the board. These are minor points, but they would benefit from further clarification and deeper analysis.

This success holds deep significance, fuelled by my passion for social mobility  rooted in my upbringing in [redacted Indian city] and early exposure to systemic discrimination. It  reflects my commitment to creating positive change through innovative solutions.

Feedback: There is no inherent harm in having a paragraph for personal reflection. This paragraph neatly concludes the answer and provides some beneficial personal insight/context into the candidate’s achievement.

That said, this isn’t explicitly called for by the question. The candidate spends a significant amount of space on this section (37/200 words), despite the question not explicitly calling for personal reflection. As such, the candidate could have safely cut this paragraph out if they needed to free up space for more meaningful analysis elsewhere.

What achievement in the past 5 years are you most proud of and why?

One of my proudest achievements was where I organised a charity performance showcase in aid of Birmingham Children's Hospital, raising £2000. This was an extremely important event to me; I wanted to raise awareness and support the Hospital as they do for my community. I was motivated and passionate about the cause and incorporated my own hobbies into the event to express how we can all make a difference through activities we enjoy. I was initially reluctant to organise the event as I didnt believe it would gain much support. Similarly, I lacked confidence in public speaking and did not want to take myself out of my comfort zone.

[Feedback:  Much like the previous competency-based question, this prompt warrants a STAR or a CAR structured answer. Crucially, however, your answer must also include a reflection on why you are most proud of the achievement you have chosen. This section can come anywhere in your answer, but we would recommend adding it after your response/result section.

The candidate starts their answer well by immediately stating their chosen achievement and including specific information. You should note that the candidate does not merely write that they ‘organised a charity performance showcase’; instead, they include the specific detail that they raised ‘£2000’. This detail helps to contextualise the answer further and impress upon the recruiter the magnitude of their actions. When you draft your answers, you should try and start your response in the same way: explicitly state what your achievement is and provide some particular facts or statistics that demonstrate the importance or size of said achievement.

The candidate then goes on to discuss their personal motivations for hosting the ‘performance showcase’ and mentions why they were apprehensive about doing so. By including information regarding the candidate’s self-doubt, the candidate is able to humanise their response. This makes the answer more relatable and allows the candidate to discuss how they overcame this personal issue. You should remember that law firms do not expect you to be infallible. In fact, law firms know that each candidate will have weaknesses; however, they want not only to know what your weaknesses are but also how you have worked to overcome them. Candidates who know what their weaknesses are and have taken steps to mitigate them are greatly preferred to candidates who claim to be flawless.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have included more specific detail. Although the candidate starts strong, their response quickly becomes vague. First, it would have been useful for the candidate to explain what they meant by a ‘charity performance showcase’. Even just a short 10-word explanation would have been helpful for the reader to understand what exactly the candidate organised.

Second, the candidate writes that they ‘incorporated [their] own hobbies into the event’. However, the candidate does not elaborate on what their hobbies were or how they incorporated them. Once again, it is always best for you to show the recruiter what you mean, rather than merely telling them. Use specific examples to make your points for you, as such examples further your argument and provide evidence for it simultaneously. When you read over your answers, at each sentence, you should be asking yourself, ‘have I provided evidence for this?’. If you have not, see if you can rewrite your answer to provide an example or at least some specific detail to substantiate your answer.

Finally, the candidate needed to have proofread their work before submission. The candidate misses out on an apostrophe when writing ‘as I didnt believe’. First, it is crucial that you do not make these kinds of mistakes as they can lead to your application being rejected, notwithstanding its potentially strong content. Second, we would recommend that you avoid using contractions as they are not appropriate for a piece of professional communication.]

However, I pushed myself to organise the event as I wanted to make a difference. At the beginning of the year, I set myself a plan to complete a certain task every week. This was crucial in ensuring I was not overwhelmed during planning. The tasks involved finding, quoting and booking venues, negotiating with sponsors and sourcing performers. I often found it difficult to quickly liaise with others and was chasing people up to get answers. I had to be approachable and adaptable to circumstances which were out of my control. The night before the event, one of my dancers dropped out. Although this was stressful, I quickly contacted alternative performers and managed to negotiate with them to secure a new act that same night. This experience taught me to always deal with situations calmly and have back-up solutions.

[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate focuses on what they did to organise the event. Importantly, their first sentence leads on from the previous paragraph: the candidate wanted to push themselves, despite their lack of confidence, in order ‘to make a difference’.

You should observe how the candidate incorporates a mention of various competencies throughout their answer. The candidate begins by discussing how they kept organised throughout the planning and orchestration of the event. They then describe the different tasks they undertook, notably, negotiating with sponsors. In just a few sentences, the candidate has successfully described their actions and eluded to the various competencies they employed. Finally, the candidate describes an issue that occurred that demonstrated their adaptability. This is excellent as the recruiter will better understand what the candidate is capable of and what skills they have (even though the question does not explicitly ask the candidate to expound upon them). 

Furthermore, the candidate provides some specific examples to substantiate their response. They describe some of the specific tasks they undertook and provide an example of an issue that occurred just before the event. These details lend the answer credence and give the recruiter a better sense of what exactly the candidate did. You must remember that the recruiter will not know you personally; they can only go off of what you write in your answers. Therefore, it is imperative that you include such details to ensure that the recruiter believes your claims and knows what specific actions you took.

To improve this answer, the candidate needed to have provided a reflection on why they were most proud of this achievement. Whilst this is hinted at throughout the answer, the candidate needed to have directly addressed the question. By the end of the answer, it is likely that the recruiter will have found the achievement impressive. However, they may still ask themselves, ‘so what?’.

The question asks for your personal reflections on the achievement; this is intentional. Law firms want to see whether you have the ability to be introspective and understand how past experiences have made you grow as a person. They also want to see whether you understand why you were successful in the past. Their hope is that candidates who know why they were successful will be able to replicate that success in the future. Therefore, it is vital that you include your own reflections on your achievement and explicitly explain why it is the one you are most proud of. To aid you in writing this section, you may want to consider starting it by writing, ‘This is an achievement that I am most proud of because […]’. This uses the terms of the question and signposts to the recruiter that you are directly addressing the prompt.]

Please tell us about a difficult or demanding achievement that you are particularly proud of, with focus on why it was challenging and the contribution you made towards achieving the end goal.

In May of 2018, I set a personal goal to apply for a summer job working in a French speaking country. In June I made my way to the Ardennes region of Belgium where I would spend the next two and a half months working in a professional kitchen.

Working in the kitchen of a restaurant in Belgium, I was immersed into a work environment with no relevant experience and required to work in a highly pressurised and fast paced kitchen, which was exacerbated by the fact that, as the sole English speaker, I was required to communicate in only Dutch & French.

During my trial period, it felt very much like an insurmountable task and consequently, leaving the restaurant like many others were doing seemed likely. However, I was determined to see how much I could push myself to meet the demands of a task which was completely unknown to me, and fulfil my goal of living independently for the period in Belgium.

Over the following weeks, I drew on various challenges and problems I had overcome working on my family's dairy farm which has given me an arsenal of transferable skills. Fortunately, this allowed me to adapt quickly and work both resourcefully and independently, as professional chefs rarely have time to stop and explain a task during a busy service. This has motivated me to work in an area like law which demands punctuality and organisation while also being intellectually challenging with a strong sense of responsibility.

Feedback: The candidate addresses each part of the prompt in turn, which ensures that their answer is not only comprehensive but also easy to follow. Moreover, the candidate sets the scene of their chosen example well, providing the reader with sufficient information to understand the context thereof without overwhelming them with superfluous details. They could have explained why they wanted to work in a French speaking country in particular, though this is a relatively minor point. At the same time, the candidate places a clear emphasis on the challenges they encountered: e.g., “no relevant experience”, “highly pressurised and fast paced kitchen”, “required to communicate in only [foreign languages]”, etc. Again, they could have briefly mentioned any particular tasks that they were given, though this is a relatively minor point. Finally, the candidate touches on their contribution towards achieving the end goal, highlighting their previous work experience and adaptability. To take this answer to the next level, they could have explained what exactly there is in their “arsenal of transferable skills” (e.g., “I have an arsenal of transferable skills, including communication, adaptability, and teamwork) as well as how they used their skills (e.g., “I adapted to my new working environment by closely watching the chefs prepare dishes, mirroring their techniques, and asking for feedback or tips at the end of each working day”).

Drawing a link between your chosen example and a career in law and/ or commercial law (as the candidate does in this case) is unnecessary; it is unlikely provide you with a significant advantage or disadvantage.

When have you worked towards an ambitious goal? As part of your answer, please describe how you tackled this goal, what set-backs you faced and what energised you about the situation.

One ambitious goal that I achieved was becoming a piano teacher. I was put in piano lessons when I was six years old. At my first recital, I successfully memorised a piece and excelled in performing it. I began to enjoy this hobby and was motivated to learn more about the instrument. Alongside my academic studies, I practiced piano every day for one hour. I quickly learned to sight-read notes efficiently, sharpen my technical skills in scale work, and confidence in playing memorised pieces. With progress, I was able to go from Basic Level 3 piano to Grade 3  an advancement that my teacher considered exceptional at my age. I achieved a First Class Honours in the Grade 3 practical exam for the Royal Conservatory of Music. Through this progress, I became increasingly energised and decided to pursue the challenge of becoming a piano teacher.

[Feedback: This question demands a STAR/CAR structured answer (situation, task, action, response/result, or context, action, response/result). The candidate uses this structure to great effect, with each of their four paragraphs corresponding to the relevant section of the STAR format.

This paragraph does well to outline the ‘situation’, namely, the key events that caused them to want to become a piano teacher. There is a good amount of specificity – the candidate details the age at which they began to learn the piano, how often they practiced, what they did to hone their skill, and what they achieved as a result. You should note how the candidate uses facts and figures to weave specific detail into their answer. Often, it can be easy to miss out details such as practicing ‘piano every day for one hour’, as they may seem trivial to you. However, you should remember that the recruiter knows very little about you; therefore, even small details can be extremely effective in lending credence and strength to your answers.

Nonetheless, notwithstanding this candidate’s use of detail, there are some areas for improvement. The first area concerns spelling and grammar. The candidate uses some phraseology that is a little stilted – for example, ‘I successfully memorised a piece and excelled in performing it’. Whilst there is nothing wrong with the sentence, it comes off as a little clunky. Try to keep your sentences simple and avoid including unnecessary adverbs, such as ‘successfully memorised’ – in this case, it is reasonable to assume that it was successfully done, otherwise the candidate would not have written about it! The same goes for other instances, like ‘learned to sight-read notes efficiently’.

However, perhaps a more pressing issue are the typographical errors made by the candidate. The first issue arises in the sentence ending in ‘sharpen my technical skills in scale work, and confidence in playing memorised pieces’. Unfortunately, the candidate’s inclusion of the comma before the ‘and’ means that the latter phrase does not make grammatical sense as it lacks a verb. Furthermore, even if the comma was removed, it would be an odd turn of phrase to say that one was able to ‘sharpen […] confidence in playing memorised pieces’.

A further set of errors occur in the following sentence. The candidate starts their sentence with ‘with progress’ – this is a little unclear, as the candidate does not explain what progress they are referring to. It would have been better for the candidate to have written ‘over time’ or ‘with continuous practice’. In the same sentence, the candidate then misses a comma, instead leaving a double-space: ‘piano to Grade 3  an advancement’. You must make sure that you proofread your work before submission. Law firms will penalise candidates who make typographical errors and, whilst it does not guarantee that your application will be immediately rejected, such mistakes do count against what might be an excellent answer.

Finally, the candidate is missing a little bit of detail when they wrote ‘an advancement that my teacher considered exceptional at my age’ – the candidate does not specify what age, meaning that the recruiter is unsure as to whether this achievement was actually exceptional. Remember, you should give detail whenever possible as it is the best way to lend credence to your answer and persuade the recruiter that what you are writing is actually true and impressive.]

I continued advancing to higher levels of piano after successfully completing the necessary exams. In order to become a qualified piano teacher, I needed to complete the Grade 8 practical exam and the advanced rudiments theory exam. I was required to memorise four pieces from the Repertoire section, two technical pieces and scale work, ear tests, and sight reading. This would be challenging, as I would simultaneously have to apply for university that year as well. However, I was motivated and determined to excel in both my studies and piano.

[Feedback: This paragraph acts as a set-up for the real challenge that the candidate faced, in effect, serving as their ‘task’ section of the STAR structure. The candidate does well to craft an image of the difficult challenge at hand. You should note how the candidate includes information that the recruiter needs to understand the difficulty and importance of the situation – the candidate explicitly mentions the specific steps that they need to take to become a piano teacher.

This paragraph could be improved in much the same way as the preceding section. Specifically, the candidate makes a grammatical error when writing their describing the list of assessments they needed to complete. The candidate has written ‘I was required to memorise four pieces from the Repertoire section, two technical pieces and scale work, ear tests, and sight reading’. This does not make grammatical sense – as written, the sentence seems to suggest that the candidate was required to memorise ear tests and sight reading, which is evidently not what the candidate wishes to communicate. Remember, if you add a verb before your list, it suggests that you are doing those things to everything in that list. For example, ‘I am eating oranges, apples, and pears’. Here, the candidate has made the error of not including different verbs for different activities.

Whilst this might not seem like the most egregious of error, you should remember that the more typographical/grammatical errors you make, the more likely (1) they are to be spotted and (2) your application will be rejected. Hence, proofread your answers, either by reading them slowly out loud or by showing them to a trusted family or friend. Law firms expect your written English to be nigh perfect with no allowances made for international students.

Finally, be wary of redundancies in both grammar and vocabulary. The candidate puts a redundant comma in the sentence beginning ‘This would be challenging, as I would’. Additionally, in the following sentence, the candidate writes that they would be ‘motivated and determined’ – this is superfluous as one broadly entails the other.

My piano exams were scheduled only three weeks before my final-year exams. I prioritised my time by allocating time after school to practice piano. For example, I spent two hours completing an assignment for school and one hour developing my memorisation skills. One major set-back that I experienced was my difficulty with theory and ear training. I overcame this problem through proactiveness in asking my teacher to hold additional lessons for me, specifically focusing on these crucial disciplines. By completing multiple practice exams at home and learning techniques through lessons, I witnessed energising progress. I became especially confident in my ability to excel in the theory exam. By the end of the year I successfully balanced attending two piano lessons a week while also completing my academic studies.

[Feedback: This section has a decent level of specificity which makes the paragraph believable and enjoyable to read. Once again, you should note how the candidate draws out specific details by mentioning specific times, facts, and names. Furthermore, you should observe how this paragraph acts as the candidate’s ‘action’ section of the STAR format which follows on smoothly from their preceding ‘task’ paragraph.

However, the candidate’s phrasing could be improved:

1.     Try to avoid repeating words in sentences as this candidate has done in their first sentence: ‘I prioritised my time by allocating time after school to practice piano’. Although there is nothing wrong with doing so, it ruins the tone of your answer and make it seem repetitive.

2.     Avoid shoehorning words into sentences. The candidate has written that they ‘overcame this problem through proactiveness in asking my teacher’. This comes across as quite stilted and jarring. Instead, the candidate could have written: ‘To overcome this problem, I took the initiative to ask my teacher’.

3.     Keep an appropriate tone. This candidate can often write in an unnecessarily dramatic tone. For example, the candidate has written ‘I witnessed energising progress’. This is a little superfluous; however, more importantly, it is vague and nonspecific. It will be hard for the recruiter to understand what ‘energising progress’ actually entailed. You should always try to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ the recruiter what you did. Consequently, it would have been better if the candidate explained how they progressed and what specifically they were able to improve.

Additionally, the answer could have been improved if the candidate went into extra detail regarding how they successfully balanced attending their piano lessons and their studies. Remember, it is not good enough to tell the recruiter that you did something – show what led up to that achievement. Not only is it more impressive but reading about all the effort that went into that achievement makes your answer more unique and convincing.

A final point pertains to what the question demands. The candidate is asked to describe any set-backs they faced during the achievement of their goal and what energised them about the process. Whilst the candidate does address the set-back point, they do not adequately address the energy point. Indeed, the candidate appears to have tried to cram in a mention of ‘energy’ to try in an attempt to cover that part of the question. This is not an appropriate way to address the question. To improve, the candidate should have carved out space in their answer to explain, using a PEE/AL (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link) structure, how and why they found the situation ‘energising’.]

As a result, I was awarded a First-Class Honours in my theory exam and Honours in my practical exam. I was the only one of 300 students in my graduating class in secondary school with an additional credit for my diploma. I became a qualified piano teacher who independently taught students aged 5-12 years old. I planned and prepared lessons regarding individual students' needs, acquired appropriate teaching materials and resources, and ensured up-to-date knowledge and awareness of examination requirements. I discussed the students' progress with their parents, and effectively prepared them for future recitals. I also kept financial and administrative records, as I was able to earn money during university while pursuing an interest that I enjoy. This experience reaffirmed my ability to transfer skills I have developed to a professional career in law.

[Feedback: This paragraph serves as the candidate’s ‘result/response’ section. Broadly speaking, this is an excellent paragraph. The candidate employs some great detail in their answer – they mention figures and percentages (‘one of 300 students’) and they qualify their examples (‘students aged 5-12 years old’).

Furthermore, the candidate goes further than simply saying that they achieved their goal. They explain what they did as a result of achieving that goal, which elevates the quality of this answer.

The only issue with this paragraph is the last sentence. The candidate makes some attempt to link their experience to a career in commercial law. However, it is a one-sentence tag-on – this means that there is very little explanation or development. Try to avoid mentioning things at the end of paragraphs or doing one-sentence mentions. These do not actually benefit your answer and only serve to take up space. Consequently, we always say that depth is better than breadth.]

When have you worked towards an ambitious goal? As part of your answer, please describe how you tackled this goal, what set-backs you faced and what energised you about the situation.

Feedback: To ensure that your answer is both comprehensive and easy to follow, we would recommend splitting it into four paragraphs of roughly equal length and tackling each of the four aspects of the prompt in turn, as the candidate does in this case. In the first paragraph, you should put forward and contextualise your example of working towards an ambitious goal. We would recommend choosing an example related to your previous work experience, your extra-curricular activities, or any of the positions of responsibility you have held. In your second paragraph, you should describe the actions you took in order to tackle your ambitious goal. In your third paragraph, you should describe the setbacks you faced whilst tackling your ambitious goal, as well as the actions you took in order to overcome them. In your final paragraph, you should explain what it was about the process of working towards your ambitious goal that motivated you to keep going or that you particularly enjoyed.

My most notable example of working towards an ambitious goal would be my attainment of, and success in, a high-level sales position with a consumer protection company. The company specialized in exiting timeshare owners from their contracts. The position as a Regional Consultant required a high degree of entrepreneurial spirit and perseverance. My compensation was entirely based on commission from sales. In addition, I would have to move to a new city, Calgary, and spearhead sales in mid-western Canada. With little sales experience and no connections in this particular market, this was a challenge that I was determined to meet.

Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the first part of the prompt, i.e., “When have you worked towards an ambitious goal?”. By closely mirroring the wording of the prompt, the candidate makes their example of working towards an ambitious goal immediately clear to the reader, i.e., “[their] attainment of, and success in, a high-level sales position with a consumer protection company”, which enables the latter to anticipate and follow the former’s train of thought more easily. Moreover, the candidate provides the reader with background information regarding the Regional Consultant position, as well as their own situation, which allows the latter to understand why the former’s goal was ambitious. In other words, the candidate contextualises their chosen example well. To avoid creating any confusion for the reader, the candidate could have named the consumer protection company in question and mentioned the fact that they were already employed by that company, albeit in a different position; this is, however, a relatively minor point.

Upon hearing of a vacancy for the position in our Calgary office, and having impressed in my previous position as an Account Coordinator, I decided to put myself forward as a candidate. I knew that my experience in this previous position which saw me looking after client accounts from the beginning to end of the contract exiting process placed me in the position of being a competitive candidate. In particular, I was considered the most effective at maintaining client relations and had a firm grasp of the contracts between clients and timeshare companies. After assuring the hiring manager of my confidence and resolve in having to move to a new city for a sales position entirely commission-based, I was quickly hired.

Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the second part of the prompt, i.e., “please describe how you tackled this goal”. They explain that they tackled their goal by putting themselves forward as a candidate for the Regional Consultant position at their company, referencing the solid track record they developed whilst holding the Account Coordinator position, as well as their willingness to move to a new city and undertake a less financially stable position. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have placed more emphasis on how they attained the Regional Consultant position. For instance, they could have explained the steps they took in order to prepare for the hiring process. To allow the reader a glimpse into their personality and decision-making, the candidate could have also explained why they were drawn to the Regional Consultant position in the first place, though this is a relatively minor point.

I experienced a steep learning curve early on. As a Regional Consultant, I was responsible for finding and following up on sales leads, educating clients on the legal and financial risk that their particular timeshare contract entailed, and convincing clients of the company's strategy for ridding them of their contractual obligations. Low sales figures and a lack of leads led me having to quickly hone my sales and marketing skills. I watched as many YouTube videos as I could and read countless books on sales tactics. I cold-called real estate offices and attended trade shows across the region in an effort to connect with target markets and attain greater name recognition. This drive quickly began paying dividends in the form of increasing sales figures.

Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the third part of the prompt, i.e., “please describe […] what set-backs you faced”, revealing the fact that they had “[l]ow sales figures and a lack of leads” when they started working as Regional Consultant, presumably due to their abovementioned lack of sales experience and local connections. Importantly, the candidate does well to describe the actions they took in order to overcome those setbacks, as well as their resulting improvement; this suggests that the candidate is reasonably self-aware and able to reflect critically upon their own performance with a view to improving it. To make this answer even more persuasive and boost its strength, the candidate could have provided the reader with precise figures, e.g., “I watched X YouTube videos and read X books to improve my sales tactics. Concurrently, I cold-called X real estate offices and attended X local trade shows to improve my networking skills. As a result, I noticed an X% increase in my sales figures”.

The thrill of completing a sale and proving to myself that I can be an effective salesperson energised me throughout the year. I was able to identify my weaknesses, in particular, the closing of a sale and address them promptly in order to survive in this position. Having a proactive mindset and being honest with my own progress allowed me to sharpen the areas that I identified as holding me back. From there, I could rely on my interpersonal and communication skills to form relationships of trust with clients that resulted in sales. As the youngest Regional Consultant nationally, I accounted for the equivalent of nearly £300k in regional sales. This was the third highest amongst Regional Consultants in Canada. I had met the challenges that awaited me upon taking on this position, and most importantly, had proven to myself that with confidence and determination I can succeed in complex and unfamiliar business settings.

Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the fourth and final part of the prompt, i.e., “please describe […] what energised you about the situation”. Echoing the comments made in relation to the first paragraph of this answer, the candidate does well to mirror the wording of the prompt to reveal what energised them about the situation from the get-go, i.e., completing a sale. However, they do not explain why completing a sale (as opposed to e.g., “attending trade shows across the region”) energised them. Instead, they change the subject and proceed to discuss a further setback they faced whilst working towards their ambitious goal. Although they present that setback well, highlighting the actions they took to overcome it and the impressive result of their efforts, the candidate strays from the fourth and final part of the prompt. 

Being ambitious for success is one of the core elements of the Gateley Team Spirit. Please provide an example of when you have been ambitious for success (200 words max)*

One of my most ambitious projects was founding the university's law and politics legal department newsletter. I was in charge of setting up an editorial team, coming up with topics, selecting articles and managing the entire project.

Feedback: Echoing the comments made supra, the candidate does well to follow the “CAR” (“context”, “action”, “result”) structure throughout their answer and split it into three separate paragraphs accordingly. They outline the context behind their chosen example in a reasonably clear manner, providing the recruiter with sufficient information to understand its significance relative to the prompt without overwhelming them with superfluous details.

At the start of the project, students were not enthusiastic about taking part in the newsletter, thereby making it difficult to formulate a strong hard-working editorial team and receive submissions from students all over campus. In addition to this, when the small team of 7 was set-up, it proved challenging to meet up due to our tight overlapping schedules. I worked on advertising the newsletter through conducting an interactive graphic presentation in every cohort explaining the merits of the project. I ensured prompts were being sent to serve as guidelines to encourage student participation. Furthermore, I decided to conduct virtual meetings and created google documents to track progress.

Feedback: The candidate further contextualises their chosen example in an effort to impress the ambitious nature of their project upon the recruiter, which primes the latter to appreciate the “action” taken by the former in response. To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have placed a greater deal of emphasis on the “action” they took in order to address the challenges presented by their ambitious project rather than on the description of those challenges. Nonetheless, they do a good job of enabling the recruiter to visualise their action plan by explaining not only what they did at every step of the way but also how they managed to do it.

As a result of my efforts, I was able to attract 35-strong candidates for editorial and writing positions for the newsletter. In support of my initiative, the university agreed to sponsor the printing of 50 copies to be distributed around campus. As a trainee at Gateley, I believe I would be able to oversee ambitious projects and maintain a resilient attitude until they are complete.

Feedback: The candidate does well to provide the recruiter with precise figures regarding the “result” of their “action” because they lend credibility to it and emphasise the magnitude thereof (e.g., “I was able to attract 35-strong candidates”, “the university agreed to sponsor the printing of 50 copies to be distributed around campus”). Given that the “Gateley Team Spirit” is mentioned within the prompt, the candidate also does well to highlight the relevance of their competencies to their prospective role as a trainee solicitor at the firm. To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have briefly reflected upon the significance of teamwork within a commercial law firm to further showcase their understanding of the role to which they are applying as well as the business of such firms. 

Being ambitious for success is one of the core elements of the Gateley Team Spirit. Please provide an example of when you have been ambitious for success (200 words max) *

A proven example of my ambition for success is my first year at [redacted energy business] as an Energy Specialist. As someone whose suffered from a mild stutter since childhood, complete fluency was often difficult. This made working in a frontline customer-facing role at [redacted energy business] extremely challenging to begin with. Dealing with distressed, vulnerable, or angry customers often triggered stuttering episodes. In rare cases I was even discriminated against. However, I didn’t let this impede my ambition to succeed. I endured those tough initial months, and with support from an understanding manager, my confidence in the role increased dramatically.

Feedback: This answer is quite effective because it follows the STAR structure overall (situation, task, action, result), which enables the recruiter to follow the candidate’s reasoning with relative ease. To achieve a similar effect, you should also follow STAR. You should (1) outline concisely the situation you faced (S), (2) describe your tasks in that situation (T), (3) explain the actions you took in response to address the situation (A) and (4) describe the overall outcome because of your actions (R). The candidate clearly follows each step of STAR overall, which makes their reasoning straightforward to follow. You should also note the level of detail the candidate goes into. We are given a clear and detailed example of challenging circumstances which the candidate overcame, which in turn addresses the wording of this question clearly.

That said, the candidate should have identified a more specific example from this experience. We are told that the candidate “dealt with angry/distressed” customers but we are not given a specific example of this. Ideally, the candidate should have (1) zoomed in on a specific time they dealt with an angry customer before then explaining (2) how they overcame their personal circumstances to deliver a positive outcome for this customer. This would have allowed the candidate to focus their writing and provide a clear picture of the steps they took in this specific situation.

As a minor point, the candidate should not have abbreviated “did not” as “didn’t”. You must always write in a formal tone, taking care not to abbreviate words or use informal language. This will ensure that your writing is professional in tone, which in turn convinces the recruiter that you have the required writing abilities to succeed as a lawyer.

We would also note that the candidate has used their work in this energy business in both competency answers. This is not a problem provided that you identify two separate and clear examples from your work. That said, we would advise candidates to give fair consideration to their achievements outside of work (be it sporting, extra-curricular or anything else). This will help demonstrate that you are a well-rounded person overall.

This had a markedly positive impact on my stutter both inside and outside of work. My success in the role culminated in winning the ‘Energy Specialist of the Year 2019’ award, out of a team of approximately 400. I later progressed onto to secondments with the Ombudsman complaints team, managed training for new joiners and eventually spent a year as a Team Leader. These experiences taught me that personal and professional growth only occurs if you force yourself out of your comfort zone to take on new challenges. Gateley’s emphasis on ambition also indicates the company recognises this too.

Feedback: In keeping with the “result” component of STAR, the candidate quantifies their achievements well here. We are told that the candidate won this award against 400 other competitors, despite the personal challenges they faced. You should aim for precise details when outlining the result of your actions, since this will convince the recruiter of the weight and quality of your achievements overall.

That said, we believe this candidate spent too much time on the “result” element whilst sacrificing the level of detail needed for the “action” element. At just 200 words, you cannot afford to do anything further than outline the result in 1-2 sentences. This is because the recruiters are primarily interested in what steps you took and how your actions consequently led to the positive outcome overall. Here, the candidate asserts that they “endured” the initial months and “received support from their manager” but does not go into much detail thereafter. Had the candidate gone into specific details about the steps they took to overcome their challenges and succeed anyway, then their answer would have been much more convincing overall.

Again, the candidate slips up with grammar by saying “onto to” when it should just be “onto”. You must always proofread carefully. This is because some recruiters will reject you outright on the basis of 1 or 2 typos/grammatical mistakes.

Please tell us what your proudest achievement is and why. This can be from any aspect of your life. (400 words)

My proudest achievement is representing England at junior international hockey and winning a national championship in the same season. When I was 16 years old, I just missed out on selection for the South-East of England hockey team and was frustrated as I thought I had played well in the trial matches. Although I was disappointed, my goal to represent England at junior international level did not change.

[Feedback: For this kind of question, we would recommend a STAR (situation, task, action, response/result) or CAR (context, action, result) structure. The candidate has nicely detailed the context/situation surrounding their proudest achievement. Crucially, the candidate has given dates/times and specified the achievement before going into further detail. This helps the recruiter to understand not only the context surrounding the answer, but also where the answer is headed.

Before reading this rest of this answer, we already get the sense that this achievement (and answer) is very strong. By setting up the stakes and choosing an achievement that truly means something to them, the candidate provokes the reader to become invested in their answer – this inevitably means that the recruiter looks favourably on their application!]

To make the necessary improvements to my game, I consulted with my school and club coaches and decided to change position from a forward to a defender. To make this successful transition, I had to coordinate with my coaches and train twice per week in 1-to-1 training and video sessions, as well as attending my 3 regular team training sessions. Moreover, I played matches twice per week in order to put these newfound skills into practice.

[Feedback: This is fantastic. The candidate has mentioned incredibly specific detail to craft their answer and lead the reader through the example. This section nicely sets up the ‘task’ and ‘action’ elements of the STAR structure: the task was for the candidate to improve their game and their actions taken include retraining as a defender.

What should also be commended about this paragraph is the implicit mentioning of competencies. Normally we recommend candidates to write explicitly and not leave it up to the recruiter to infer something from their answers. However, when writing about examples such as these, if written well, the candidate will be showing the competencies in action, meaning they do not need to tell the recruiter that they employed said competencies. For example, the candidate mentions that they took the decision to retrain and move positions: this shows flexibility, adaptability, and self-awareness. To an extent, it shows humility and teamwork too.

The specificity of this answer combined with a clear structure and showing important competencies through the chosen example makes this a near perfect section and something to be looked at as a archetypal paragraph.]

As a result of my hard work, I was selected to attend an England U17 trial and performed well enough to be selected for the England U17 squad. Subsequently, I was selected by my teammates and coaches to captain the England U17 Boys hockey team at the Sainsbury's School Games in September 2015, where I led the team to a silver medal. As an England Hockey captain, I was also proud to be awarded the Christopher Hunting Cup and the Claude Harper Cup in recognition of outstanding international representation in sport outside of college fixtures whilst at school.

[Feedback: Again, this is a strong paragraph. The candidate follows on from their previous section and details what occurred as a direct result of their actions. In line with the preceding paragraph, the level of detail here is excellent and shows off how well the candidate performed. You should remember that your achievements are only as good as you make them out to be. Here, the candidate is letting their achievements speak for themselves by showing off the collection of awards they garnered and not holding back on the reasons for why they earnt them.]

Furthermore, I represented my club Surbiton in the same season, 2015-2016, where we attempted to win a national championship. I coordinated with my teammates and trained twice per week, as well as playing matches once per week. As a result, we qualified for the national final, played at the London Olympic Park, in May 2016. During the final, thanks to our preparation, we won on a penalty shootout, therefore winning the England Hockey Boys U18 National Championship for the first time in Surbiton’s history. Moreover, as a result of my performances throughout the season, I was awarded by my teammates and coaches the Surbiton Young Player of the Year 2015-2016.

[Feedback: Another great paragraph. The candidate does well to discuss so many instances of success but under the umbrella of “one” achievement. This is difficult to do in applications as candidates often drift from the overall thread of their answer or write underdeveloped paragraphs. Nevertheless, this candidate has done extremely well to craft their answer and avoids such criticism. The candidate achieves this by, amongst the inclusion of specific details, mentioning the dates/times of events. This provides a chronological framework which makes the answer far easier to understand than one long blurred description.

The only point of improvement we would suggest is an increased use of commas. The candidate cites names and employs sentences with multiple clauses. Using commas to break up these sentences would polish their grammar and make their writing slightly clearer. For example, the candidate should have written ‘[…] I represented my club, Surbiton, in the same season […]’. However, notwithstanding such errors, we would impress upon you that this is an exceptionally good answer.]

My experience as an England hockey captain significantly improved my leadership skills but more importantly taught me the importance of not giving up on my ambitions. Moreover, playing in the final of a national championship taught me the importance of clear and concise communication in a high-pressure situation.

[Feedback: Here, the candidate becomes far more direct. They have already discussed the result/response of their actions (all their awards, recognition, and so on), and so now turn to the explicit mentioning of competencies. Although ordinarily we would criticise candidates for listing competencies and ‘telling’ instead of ‘showing’ them, we think that, in light of the preceding paragraphs, this is a strong way to end the answer.

By ending the answer by explicitly discussing the competencies they developed through the experience, the candidate demonstrates a degree of introspection and self-understanding. Furthermore, the explicit mentioning of competencies at the end of the answer makes sure that the recruiter cannot forget or miss the fact that the candidate has shown evidence of such competencies throughout their answer.]

Please tell us what your proudest achievement is and why. This can be from any aspect of your life. (400)

During the COVID-19 lockdown, I launched my own business aimed at improving students' virtual networking skills. I noticed the transition to a virtual environment posed a challenge to students who were unfamiliar with engaging with professionals online but presented an even greater opportunity for students from a wider remit of universities to gain exposure to leading commercial law firms. I was confident that my experience with networking and the insight I had gained throughout my first-year placed me in a unique position to capitalise from the student demand and make this idea successful.

As a first-generation professional, entrepreneurship is not something which I have ever been encouraged to explore. However, throughout Sixth Form I recognised that my career focus and experience with networking, as President of the Law Society, allowed me to stand out in an environment which was filled with academically gifted students. After successfully setting up the school's first law society, I was incentivised to pitch my idea to a friend and together we created an organisation which provides insight to students interested in pursuing a career in commercial law or investment banking. I found the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and have an impact in a very competitive environment extremely rewarding.

As Co-Founder of [redacted organisation], I now lead a team of ten who organise our social media promotion whilst I advise our commercial law clients. To meet our deadlines set for September, I delegated our commercial awareness posts to content writers whilst I focused on marketing to potential clients. I keep in regular contact with my team to monitor progress and discuss new ideas to innovate the business. Spreading the workload maximised our efficiency and meant we generated 450 social media followers and £120 revenue in our first month.

The fast-evolving nature of social media combined with the transition to a virtual environment stimulated the demand for aspiring lawyers and bankers who were looking to profit from the wealth of information available online. By capitalising off this demand, we have helped 50 students increase their confidence with virtual networking by advising on how they can use platforms such as LinkedIn more effectively. I am excited by the opportunity to pitch this idea in schools post-COVID as it will widen our client base and create mentorship opportunities for current [redacted organisation]’s clients who go on to secure graduate roles in the years to come.

Feedback: The candidate reveals that launching their own business is their proudest achievement and outlines the context behind their decision to do so, enabling the recruiter to anticipate and follow their ensuing train of thought with relative ease. For emphasis, they could have mirrored the wording of the prompt, e.g., “My proudest achievement is launching my own business”, though this is a relatively minor point in the grand scheme of things. The candidate claims that “[their] experience with networking and the insight [they gained’ throughout [their first year at university] placed [them] in a unique position” to launch their business successfully. However, the foregoing claim is inadequately substantiated. The candidate simply states that their time as President of the Law Society of their Sixth Form provided them with networking experience but does not elaborate any further. They never mention the kind of insight they gained throughout their first year at university, nor do they explain how they gained it. It is, therefore, unclear why they would be in a unique position to launch a business aimed at improving other students’ networking skills. Although this application was ultimately successful, we do not recommend making such “ambitious” claims without substantiating them in an adequate manner. To do so, we recommend sticking to the “PEEL” structure (“point”, “evidence”, “explanation”, “link”).

Notwithstanding the comments made supra, the candidate does well to provide the recruiter with personal insights regarding the decision-making process preceding the launch of their business. Not only does this highlight their so-called “entrepreneurial spirit” – an attribute on which US-heritage firms such as K&E tend to place a great deal of emphasis – but it also allows the recruiter a glimpse into their personality. The candidate also does well to provide the recruiter with precise figures in terms of the activity and performance of their business, e.g., “I now lead a team of ten”, “we generated 450 social media followers and £120 in revenue in our first month”, “we have helped 50 students”. In doing so, they lend credibility to their answer and highlight the magnitude of their achievement. However, they fail to address the second part of the prompt in a direct fashion, as they fail to explain why launching their own business is their proudest achievement. Granted, the recruiter could conceivably deduce it, but we recommend mirroring the wording of the prompt and addressing each part of it in a direct fashion to be safe.

Tell us about something you have achieved or are passionate about apart from your academic studies.

My most significant achievement is when I personally established an adaptive (disability skiing) sub-division of my ski school in Switzerland. It was important to me to do this because I felt that disabilities should not be a barrier to participation. I was solely responsible for fundraising, marketing, insurance and health and safety compliance. I enjoyed taking on this level of responsibility as I witnessed the beneficial impact it had on clients.

[Feedback:  This question invites a STAR-structured reply: situation, task, action, response/result. Hence, we would recommend splitting your answer in four paragraphs, where each paragraph clearly signposts the next section of the structure. You should also note that this question invites some flexibility: you may write on an achievement or a passion. Make sure you are clear in your answer as to what aspect of the question you wish to address/are addressing.

This candidate does well to introduce and contextualise their answer in their opening paragraph, and they also begin to explain to why their example is something of importance to them. At times the candidate’s phrasing could have been improved; for example, the candidate could have rewritten the opening sentence to avoid their use of brackets which somewhat disrupts the flow of their answer. Furthermore, a little more background context would have been useful – the candidate could have mentioned what year this was in and why he was part of a ski school. Nevertheless, this paragraph is a decent representation of a ‘situation’-paragraph.]

I led on fundraising by encouraging the team to run a half-marathon, which secured £2,000 for specialist equipment. We achieved this target 5 weeks in advance of our target, which meant we exceeded our fundraising by 37%.

[Feedback:  First, we would like to highlight that the candidate does extremely well regarding the specificity of their writing. We always recommend that candidates use facts and statistics to substantiate their examples and claims. These two sentences, written by the candidate, exemplify this advice when put into practice.

Second, however, these two sentences do not fit into the overall answer. It is a little unclear as to how the preceding paragraph flows into this one, and what exactly the candidate is talking about. Remember to use introductory sentences and signposting to establish what each of your paragraphs is doing: you need to show whether it is extrapolating on a preceding paragraph or it is an entirely new point. If it is a new point, you will need to demonstrate this with an introductory word or phrase; for example, ‘additionally’.

Finally, the candidate’s phraseology could be slightly improved; for example, ‘I led on fundraising’ is a slightly strange way of wording what the candidate meant. Make sure your writing is as clear as possible; it is always better to have simpler, shorter sentences than to have long-winded prose. You should remember that law firms will be assessing the quality of your written application, and so any spelling and grammatical errors will count against you, with no exceptions made for international students.]

I also led on the school’s marketing activities. I posted on disability forums and Facebook pages and had friends advertise on our behalf. Having worked as a volunteer instructor with Disability Snowsports UK, there were numerous clients who could vouch for my professionalism and the reputation of the school. I drew on this to demonstrate the professionalism of the school and the experience we could offer. I also reached out to a disability specific UK gym and built a relationship which allowed us to reach a wider number of people.

[Feedback:  This is a decent paragraph in which the candidate has done well to highlight the role they played in expanding the service offering of the ski school they worked at. The candidate has also been able to subtly discuss some core competencies, such as entrepreneurship, which helps to augment the strength of their answer.

However, as with the preceding paragraph, the candidate’s phrasing is slightly cumbersome; for example, ‘I also led on the school’s marketing activities’, and ‘a disability specific UK gym’. Regarding the ‘disability specific’ paragraph, the candidate should be very careful in their phrasing. Though this merely comes across as clunky, when discussing more delicate matters, such clunky phrasing can be misconstrued as insensitive.

Finally, the candidate unnecessarily repeated some of their answer in consecutive paragraphs: ‘numerous clients who could vouch for my professionalism and the reputation of the school. I drew on this to demonstrate the professionalism of the school and the experience we could offer’ [emphasis added]. We would have recommended merging these two sentences together to cut down the number of words used, and to avoid unnecessary repetition.]

I was able to effectively build a rapport with accommodation and transportation providers in order to negotiate a significant discount for clients. The outcome was that the client could book with ease and secure a significant discount. The scheme continues to grow in attracting more people every year.

[Feedback: Though this is a decent concluding/‘result’ paragraph, it suffers from not having some key terms/events defined or fully developed, respectively. Throughout this answer, the candidate should have made it explicitly clear what their task was regarding setting up this scheme.

Though it is implied, the reader is never told exactly what the candidate had to set out and do. Furthermore, who were the clients? Notwithstanding the reader’s ability to infer who the clients may be, it would have been better, once again, for the candidate to be explicit.

Additionally, it would have been good to read about why the candidate was committed to securing a good discount for the clients – though it seems like an intuitive aim, it actually is something of note; remember, law firms want to employ someone who is focused not only on the needs of the firm but also on the needs of the client.

Finally, the last sentence of the paragraph is a little weak – the candidate would have benefited from adding some statistics to evidence how the scheme has grown and, thereby, what their tangible value-add for their ski school was.

When writing your concluding/‘response/result’ paragraph, make sure you reread your answer to check that your conclusion makes sense in light of what you have written. Much like when you write a university essay, your conclusion should be a summarisation of what you have written and a distillation of any key findings as a result of your previous analysis. Though law firm applications might seem less formal than such academic assignments, your formality and the quality of your writing should be at the same level.]

Word count (max. 500 words):
ADDITIONAL 1

Please tell us about an outstanding personal achievement which added value to your academic or working environment or to you personally.

My greatest personal achievement was overcoming the dual function of my role as the International Students Officer. This inspired me to establish the International Students Network. When fulfilling the role, I noticed that the scope of my position was not only unclear but also inefficient.

[Feedback: For this kind of question, we recommend that you use a situation, task, action response (‘STAR’) or context, action, result (‘CAR’) structure for your answers.

In this first paragraph, the candidate broadly sets out the context for their personal achievement. You should note how they attempt to immediately say what their achievement was and some of the context surrounding it. ‘Context’ denotes not only some background information but also the key challenges or tasks you faced. The ‘context’ element of the CAR structure covers the ‘situation’ and ‘task’ elements of the STAR structure.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise. For instance, although it is good that the candidate immediately states their personal achievement in their first sentence, it is unclear what that achievement actually is. You must ensure to write explicitly. Your aim is to communicate exactly what you mean rather than to build suspense or hide behind flowery prose. The candidate writes that their ‘personal achievement was overcoming the dual function of my role as the International Students Officer’. However, this raises several questions (which the candidate does not answer): 

1. What does it mean to ‘overcome’ the dual function of the role? This is not an ordinary turn of phrase.
2. What are the two functions of the role?
3. In what institution was the candidate a part of where they were the International Students Officer?

As the first paragraph is meant to be a ‘context’ paragraph, the candidate should have focused on fleshing out answers to these questions.

Finally, the candidate could have been slightly clearer about their overall problem. Whilst the role might have been broader in scope than optimal, the candidate could have been more specific about the problem that caused for them. The rest of the answer would then focus on the candidate's actions to surmount that problem and what the result of their actions was.]

By looking at other officer positions and how they function, I realised that other officers had networks made up of college representatives, with each being elected by their college community. My role was to preside over the International Students' Association, which mainly focused on organising events, as well as being the International Students Officer. In contrast to other Student Union networks, the ISA committee was elected by its members and was far less popular than the college elections. Although the ISA was apolitical, other networks allowed its representatives to have a say on matters of welfare and academic policy. Thus I created a forum for college representatives to improve the situation of international students.

[Feedback: Overall, this paragraph is well-written. The candidate explains some more about their role and the problems their organisation faced. The candidate uses some good detail to substantiate their answer. Although they do not use many names or numbers, they are specific in what they are describing. You must remember that your writing’s clarity is of paramount importance. If the recruiter cannot understand what you have written, your application is unlikely to succeed, irrespective of your content’s quality.

The candidate may have improved their answer by being more explicit with their argumentation. This paragraph provides a lot of context to understand the scenario. However, this eats into the word count, and the answer lacks a forceful argument. So far, the entire answer has broadly been concerned with the background information. The candidate only progresses from this in the last sentence when they state that they ‘created a forum for college representatives to improve the situation of international students’. However, they go into no additional detail as to how they created such a forum or why they felt that such a forum was needed at the time.

You must remember to stick to a clear CAR or STAR structure. Whilst some of the context the candidate has provided is useful, the candidate could have cut much of it. For instance, the candidate could have summarised the necessary context by briefly explaining that, unlike other networks, the ISA had minimal engagement and was historically not consulted with respect to welfare or academic matters. Going into the minutiae of how the network system works is not wholly necessary here, and the candidate would have been better off focusing their discussion on what they did. The recruiter is mostly focused on what you did as this is an application form about you, not about the institutions you worked for.]

The emergence of the Network proved to be a basis for the Provost of the university to meet with international student representatives once a term. During these meetings, I persuaded the Provost to rectify the unfair situation of the visiting students, who were not given a choice in the type of accommodation offered. As a result, I received positive feedback from international students and the President of the Student Union cited this initiative in his farewell speech as one of the most important achievements of the Union in 2018.

[Feedback: This paragraph covers a little more of what the candidate did and addresses the result of their actions. You should note how the candidate uses the first-person pronoun to highlight explicitly to the recruiter the actions they took. Candidates may often feel uncomfortable saying ‘I’; however, it is the best way to get the recruiter’s attention. Focus on what you did, not what anyone else did.

Furthermore, you should observe how the candidate employs specific detail to lend credence to their answer. The candidate specifies an issue that they raised with the Provost: the choice of accommodation type. The candidate also mentions the Student Union’s president’s speech, which is a great piece of evidence that proves the importance of the candidate’s actions (and justifying the candidate’s choice of the story as an outstanding personal achievement).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have used the terms of the question. When you answer a question on an application form, you must try to use the question's wording in your answer. This will ensure that the recruiter sees that you have answered the question and, crucially, not answered what you thought the question was or what you would have liked the question to be. In this case, the candidate should have used the words ‘outstanding personal achievement’ and ‘added value to my academic environment’ in this concluding paragraph. Although you may feel that this is contrived, using such phraseology helps ensure that you have answered the question exactly as written.]

Describe your greatest non-academic achievement of the last two years and why this achievement is important to you. (Max 4000 characters including spaces)

I consider my first year in a high-level sales position with [redacted company], a consumer protection firm, my greatest non-academic achievement of the last two years. The company specialised in exiting timeshare owners from their onerous contracts. The position as a Regional Consultant required a high degree of entrepreneurial spirit and resiliency. My compensation was entirely based on commission from sales, so I had to ensure I produced in order to survive in this new role. I also had to move to a new city, Calgary, and spearhead sales in mid-western Canada. With little sales experience, no connections in this particular market, and the goal of becoming a commercial solicitor, I was determined to prove to myself and my employer that I can succeed in complex and unfamiliar business settings.

[Feedback:This is a unique choice of example for this kind of question. Typically, most candidates will choose examples pertaining to their extra-curricular activities (for example, they might choose winning some kind of sports tournament). However, the candidate’s example is a completely valid one: one’s work is technically not related to one’s academics.

Nevertheless, you should be aware that you must choose a specific example. The candidate, although they specify their first year in a professional role, is in danger of making their answer too broad. It may have been better if the candidate singled out one experience, or one main achievement from that first year, as their point of focus.

Furthermore, the candidate’s writing occasionally drifts into informality. For example, ‘I had to ensure I produced in order to survive’ – ‘I produced’ is an informal turn of phrase and ‘survive’ is a little too dramatic (it would have been better to write something to the effect of ‘I had to secure sales to ensure I earned enough to sustain myself’).]

I was promoted to this position after impressing in my preceding role as an Account Coordinator. In this position, I guided nearly 1000 clients through the legal process of exiting their timeshares, which required answering clients questions, providing status updates, and processing legal documentation such as deeds, non-disclosure agreements and finance agreements. Upon being promoted as a Regional Consultant, I was responsible for finding and following up on sales leads, educating clients on any risk that their particular contract entailed, and convincing them of our strategy to relieve them of any contractual obligations, a quite different role with greater responsibility. This work was completely self- directed as I was solely responsible for managing sales in our Calgary office and the surrounding region.

[Feedback: The first point of improvement is with regard to spelling and grammar. In the second sentence, the candidate writes ‘clients questions’, missing an apostrophe. Some more errors include the space between ‘self-’ and ‘directed’, and the mistaken placement of ‘quite’ in ‘a quite different role’. Although these may seem like minor errors, be aware that law firms will hold all students, international or otherwise, to a very high standard of written English; some firms may even reject applications immediately if a typographical error is found. Hence, always make sure to proofread your work – although an error does not guarantee a rejection, there is no need for you to take the risk as such errors are always easy for you to spot and avoid prior to submission.

The second point of improvement pertains to the position of this paragraph. The preceding paragraph relates to the candidate’s position as a Regional Consultant. Hence, it is a little jarring for this paragraph’s former half’s subject to be about the candidate’s time as an Account Coordinator. It would have been better to lead with this, as the reader may easily become confused as to whether the candidate’s focus is on the former role or the latter.]

There was quite a steep learning curve that I had to overcome. Aside from becoming familiar with timeshare contracts and understanding how timeshare companies operated as businesses, I also had to quickly hone my sales skills in order to make rent in my first few months in Calgary. I engrossed myself in books, videos and articles on how to be an effective salesperson. I also cold-called real estate offices and attended trade shows across the region in an effort to connect with target markets and attain name recognition. This drive quickly began paying dividends in the form of increasing sales figures month after month.

[Feedback: The candidate could have improved their phrasing with a few small alterations, including changing:

1.     ‘becoming familiar’ to ‘familiarising myself’.

2.     Un-splitting the infinitive in ‘to quickly hone’ and changing it to ‘to hone my skill sales quickly’.

3.     ‘in order to make rent’ to ‘to ensure I could pay my monthly rent in Calgary’.

Remember, your application is more than just its content. Law firms will be judging your choice of vocabulary, spelling, grammar, and tone.

Nevertheless, this is a decent attempt by the candidate to showcase how they overcame a challenge. The candidate specifies the challenge that needed to be overcome (the situation and task), before presenting the steps they took to overcome that challenge (their actions). The candidate then rounds off the answer by stating what the outcome of their actions was (the result). You should notice how the candidate employs the STAR structure in their answer and how such a structure leads the reader through the paragraph.

The central point of improvement for this paragraph is with regard to specificity. The candidate could have given more detail in their answer: what specific sales skills did the candidate need to refine? What specific books, videos and articles did the candidate engage with? What specific trade shows did the candidate visit? How much, specifically, did the candidate increase the sales figures? If you can, always give the names of activities, events, and people, in addition to specific numerical figures (where appropriate) – such specificity lends credence to your answer.]

The thrill of completing a sale and proving to myself that I can be an effective salesperson energised me throughout the year. I relied heavily on my social skills to form relationships of trust with clients resulting in direct sales and referrals. As the youngest Regional Consultant nationally, I accounted for the equivalent of nearly £300k in regional sales. This was the third highest among Regional Consultants in Canada, which was an exceptional achievement for someone of my age and experience. My success provided confirmation that with determination, humility and a willingness to learn, I can succeed in complex business environments. In turn, this pushed me further towards pursuing a career in the legal profession.

[Feedback: This paragraph is good and rounds off the answer nicely. There is a lot of detail in this section, with the candidate evidencing their abilities and achievements by citing facts (they came third in the value of completed sales for that year across Canada) and figures (they accounted for £300,000 in sales). However, the candidate lacks some formality when writing £300k – always write numbers out in full, unless formal abbreviations are applicable (e.g., ‘m’ for million). The candidate takes this information and links it with their competencies, whilst then using the latter half of the paragraph to demonstrate their drive for a career in law.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have spent some more time fleshing out their link to ‘a career in the legal profession’. Whilst they have evidenced their abilities as a salesperson well, it is unclear how this role demonstrates their suitability for a career as a commercial solicitor. Indeed, it may have been worth cutting this part of the answer, as this question does not mandate that the candidate address why they are pursuing a career in commercial law. Consequently, the candidate may have been better off using the word count to explain why their cited example was such an important achievement (thereby directly answering the question).

Remember, you do not need to answer more than is necessary. Read the question and ensure that your answer addresses the question as written not what you think or want the question to be.]

Tell us about your greatest achievements in your work and/or study. (250 Words)
- What challenges did you experience?- How did you respond to those challenges?
- What was the outcome?

’d consider my greatest achievement to be when I led my university's Jessup team. This prestigious annual competition was well-known for being difficult. To stay ahead and lead my team effectively, I researched all the regulations and requirements.

None of us has previously had any experiences with this competition before being selected for it. Despite this barrier, the most significant obstacle that I found was that none of my teammates knew each other and this added further complexity to the competition; team working is arguably the essential pre-requisite skill that is required to excel in this competition.

To solve this problem of animosity and to break the ice between my teammates, I created bi-monthly Jessup socials which aimed at fostering friendship among my team. I set up a series of mini-golf and movie events that required all members to participate. By doing this, I found that my team found it easier to discuss the Jessup workload among themselves. They started to delegate work between themselves and even take up the initiative to check on each other's personal and work commitments to ensure that everyone was up to the task.

During the competition's oral rounds, two judges acknowledged and commended on my team's strong camaraderie and teamwork. Through this competition, I further harnessed my creative thinking skills (which is essential for a trainee lawyer) that allowed me to successfully establish effective communication among team members which led to an overall increase in teamwork. My team did exceptionally, and we progressed successfully.

[Feedback: It’s clear that Stephenson Harwood is looking for a well-structured response to this question, which is why the firm has provided further guidance about what it is looking for in the bullet points. 

This candidate does a decent but unexceptional job at answering this question.  We recommend that you use the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) framework to structure your responses for longer form questions.  The candidate loosely follows this structure, but blends parts of them together (e.g., saying what she did in the second sentence of the first paragraph, rather than focusing on explaining the task).

There are a few grammatical errors and typos.  The candidate was lucky to get away with these given the high importance that law firms place on attention to detail and quality of written communication.  For example, “two judges acknowledged and commended [me] on my team’s…” and “This prestigious annual competition was well-known” (which should presumably be written in the present tense instead).

While the Jessup moot court competition is reasonably well known, the candidate should have clarified what the activity is rather than assuming knowledge on the part of graduate recruitment.]

Please outline your most significant achievement to date and how this was achieved? The example you choose can be from within or outside your academic career. (250 words max) *

Whilst working at the [redacted firm], I dealt with a wide range of customers seeking legal advice. My most significant achievement to date was helping a suicidal woman through a legal dispute that was causing her immense stress.

The client was dealing with nuisance neighbours and the details of the case dated back several years. She had reached a point where she felt as though she may as well ‘not wake up tomorrow’ because she did not know what else to do.

Feedback: In line with the STAR structure (situation-task-action-result), the candidate offers an excellent overview of the situation they faced and the specific objective they pursued. The candidate provides just enough detail so that the recruiter can (1) understand the overall context and can (2) appreciate the gravity/sensitivity of the specific situation faced by the candidate. This provides a good platform on which the candidate can later unpack the specific steps and actions they carried out in response to this situation.

You should also note how concisely the candidate writes here. At 82 words, the candidate sufficiently communicates the situation and task elements with just under 1/3 of the word count. This gives the candidate plenty of space to unpack their steps and actions in specific detail later on. The majority of your writing should be spent on the steps/actions, as these will allow the recruiter to pick out your various competencies as a result.

I knew the client felt let-down by the council and the police, so I spent a lot of time building trust with her. I listened carefully, extracting the relevant information which I then ordered chronologically to gain a holistic overview of case’s trajectory. Having compartmentalised the issues, I worked through each individually, applying my knowledge of Tort, Property and Criminal Law. I explained her legal position and suggested a series of practical next steps.

Feedback: The candidate now moves towards addressing the “action” element of their answer, namely by unpacking the specific steps they carried out in response to this situation. As with the previous paragraph, the candidate writes concisely. They get straight to the point by offering a neat and succinct outline of (1) the order of steps they carried out and (2) how they applied their existing legal knowledge to secure a positive and tangible outcome for the client. This persuades the recruiter that the candidate can approach sensitive/high-pressured situations with a methodical and well-considered approach.

That said, the candidate needed to unpack their actions in much greater detail at various points. Throughout the paragraph, the candidate never really goes beyond providing a high-level and broad-brush overview of the steps they carried out. First, the candidate asserts that they “compartmentalised” the issues and “extracted relevant information”. These would suggest that the candidate needed to filter out irrelevant detail and organise their thoughts accordingly. However, the candidate never explains precisely how they assessed the information to determine whether it was relevant. This is a crucial skill for commercial lawyers, so we would expect the candidate to provide much more detail on the methods they used to organise/analyse information.

In the same way, the candidate makes a simple/generic assertion that they “applied” their legal knowledge to “explain” the client’s legal position. This offers us no specific insight into how they applied their legal knowledge, nor does it explain how the candidate ultimately communicated that knowledge to a client who might have been unfamiliar with the law. These are both vital skills for commercial lawyers, so we would expect the candidate to unpack these points with much more specificity.

We believe the candidate did not allocate enough space to this section. Had the candidate cut down the next paragraph (which addresses the result), then they would have freed up more of the word count here.

The client later informed my manager that my advice had helped to solve the problem and more importantly, I had made her feel significantly more positive in herself. My manager listened to a recording of the call, and I subsequently received a formal commendation. In my appraisal, I was specifically praised for my resilience and handling of the difficult situation, particularly as I had only recently finished training.

I was grateful that I had given the client hope and proud that my advice had gone beyond resolving just a legal dispute.

Feedback: This section nicely addresses the “result” element of the answer. You should note how the candidate gets into a decent level of detail throughout the paragraph. Not only do they explain the personal outcome for the client, but they also provide objective details about a formal commendation they received for their work. This adds persuasive weight and objective value to the candidate’s achievements, which in turn convinces the recruiter that the candidate has these skills to a high level.

However, we believe that the candidate spent too much time/word count on this section relative to other parts of the answer. For instance, the candidate’s final sentence does not contribute much to the overall answer because it does not describe a tangible and objective outcome. There is no harm in having some personal reflection in your answer, but this should generally be left out if you are constrained by a word count. Had the candidate cut down this paragraph, they would have freed up more space to address their actions/steps.

The “result” section is not the most important part of a competency answer. Instead, your focus should be on the steps/actions (as these will allow the recruiter to infer your competencies and pick out your skills). You should briefly summarise a specific, quantifiable outcome at the end of the answer for completeness only.  

Tell us about an achievement that has made you proud. How did you make it happen? (250 words)

My successful climb to Mount. Kilimanjaro in September 2018 is an achievement I am particularly proud of.

Having never undertaken a challenge of this scale before, I ensured I was adequately prepared for the 6 day trek by adopting a new fitness routine throughout the year. In order to do this, I disciplined myself into going for runs twice a week to increase my stamina and went to the gym three days a week.

[Feedback: These kinds of questions require a STAR or CAR structured answer. In this paragraph, the candidate neatly sets out the context for this experience. Notably, the candidate clearly details the achievement (climbing Mount Kilimanjaro) and specifies when it occurred (September 2018). Whilst this detail may seem superfluous, it helps the recruiter to get a better sense of the answer you are constructing.

Additionally, this answer should be commended for its level of detail, namely, stating the kind and frequency of training the candidate undertook.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more mindful of their spelling and grammar. When you write numbers under 10, spell them out in words (for example, write ‘six’ not ‘6’). Furthermore, when you write something like a ‘6 day trek’ or ‘3 day week’, the number and the day should be hyphenated. The end result should look like ‘six-day trek’. 

During the trek, team-work was key. As some team members began to struggle with severe altitude sickness with our destination at 5,895m above sea level, I initiated the distribution of the weight from their bags throughout the team to ease their climb. By demonstrating to each other such physical and emotional support, this also improved the group morale and encouraged each member to continue trying their best. In addition, empathising with group members was also essential. With the activity being undertaken for various reasons, such as to gain a new challenging experience or to mark an important life event, the ability to understand other peoples goals fostered a supportive group environment where those goals were met.

[Feedback: This paragraph focuses on the task and the action elements of the STAR structure. This paragraph has a decent level of detail. The candidate does well to include the specific distance above sea level and describe precisely how they helped their fellow teammates. Furthermore, the candidate provides a nice reflective remark at the end of the paragraph, which highlights that they considered why the experience was important for them and what skills they demonstrated.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more explicit in their articulation of events. There are several instances of clunky phraseology throughout the response. For example, ‘I initiated the distribution of weight’ is a slightly awkward way of describing what the candidate did. Furthermore, ‘demonstrating to each other such physical and emotional support’ is also a cumbersome phrase. When you write your answers, try to be concise and use a clear writing style. Many candidates will try to employ a complex writing style in an effort to come across as more sophisticated. We would recommend writing simply instead. This will help the recruiter and ensure you avoid making unnecessary errors.

Finally, once again, be wary of making typographical errors. The candidate, in the last sentence, misses the apostrophe when writing ‘other peoples goals’. This is a repeated mistake and again threatens the overall success of this application. Proofread your work or give it to a trusted friend or relative to review it to ensure you catch and deal with these mistakes.]

In order to overcome additional challenges, such as almost 60 hours of trekking and turbulent weather, mental endurance was crucial. Whilst at times the physical pain and discomfort was overbearing, I remained focused on my goal of reaching the top and instead, slowed my pace and took the necessary supplements to gain more energy that allowed me to continue walking.

[Feedback: This paragraph continues on from the previous section. This section adds some additional detail and further describes how the candidate tackled the difficult task at hand. Generally, this is a good paragraph. However, it could be further improved, as above, with the inclusion of some more detail. What supplements did the candidate take? How else did the candidate steel themselves?

The candidate should have also included a sentence or two to describe the result. The candidate could have explicitly mentioned that they reached the summit and could have mentioned, for example, that they did so on schedule or with the team’s morale unshaken. You should not miss this ‘result’ section as it is the proper way to conclude an answer to this kind of question and remind the recruiter of what your work was in aid of.]

Tell us about a recent goal that you worked towards. How did you make it happen, and what did you learn? (250)

Soon after joining XXX, I set myself the goal of being promoted to project lead as quickly as possible. This was for two reasons. First, managing projects would allow me to work directly with the high-profile clients my team supported, which I found very exciting. The second reason was that it would allow me to work more efficiently. My team was understaffed, with the overburdened project leads struggling to keep on top of the number of cases they were assigned. As a result, they were often slow to foreword my work to clients.

Feedback: This is a classic competency question asking you to reflect on a goal you achieved and how you achieved it. As such, you should apply the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result). You should concisely describe (1) the situation you faced and (2) your specific task/goal in that situation, before devoting the majority of the question to (3) the actions you carried out and (4) the specific outcome (with some reflection on the things you learned).

The candidate contextualises the situation reasonably well here. First, you should note how the candidate addresses the wording of the question from the outset. Their first sentence describes precisely what their goal was and why they wanted to achieve it. Then. The candidate develops their point by describing the reasons why they wanted to achieve this goal. This gives the recruiter sufficient context to understand the candidate’s objective. In stating their goal from the outset, the candidate also demonstrates that they have fully understood the question being asked.

In keeping with the STAR structure, the candidate should have drilled down on the precise objectives/tasks they needed to achieve in order to become a project lead. Currently, the candidate does not provide much insight into (1) what project leads do nor (2) specifically what criteria the candidate needed to achieve in order to be promoted. Had the candidate done this, then their subsequent writing about the actions/results would follow from this paragraph more closely.

In order to achieve this goal, I expressed my interest in wanting more client contact and asked to gradually take on more responsibility, such as sitting in on meetings and drafting client reports. This allowed me to learn the skills needed to take on the role. I then spotted an opportunity to gain the promotion during a hectic period. The team was especially short-staffed, with many still on holiday or ill with Covid 19. It was clear that management would need additional support. I approached my V.P. and offered to help by leading projects. The V.P. was hesitant as I had yet to complete my six-month probation period. I negotiated a compromise, which allowed me to gain the promotion on the condition that I gave daily updates on all my projects. This experience taught me the importance of proactively seeking out opportunities to take on responsibility, as this is the best way to learn.

Feedback: The candidate now moves towards their actions/results, in keeping with the second part of this question. First, the candidate does reasonably well in describing the steps they took to achieve the promotion. You should note how the candidate focuses on showing their competencies through the actions they carried out, rather than simply telling the recruiter what skills they have. The candidate describes specifically how they sat in meetings, drafted client reports and helped with leading projects. The candidate also talks impressively about how they negotiated a promotion, which directly answers the question. In turn, this allows the recruiter to infer the candidate’s skills/qualities from the steps they have described.

That said, this paragraph should have improved in a couple of regards:

1. The candidate leaves various points underdeveloped. For instance, the candidate asserts that they “learned the skills needed” by “sitting in on meetings” and “drafting client reports”. However, the candidate never explains (1) precisely what these skills were nor (2) how the candidate developed and applied these skills through each of these respective tasks. Instead, the candidate should have drilled down on precisely what they did in each of these tasks and how they developed the relevant skills as a result.

2. The candidate does not provide a specific, quantified outcome following from their actions. The candidate tells us about the compromise they achieved, but they never go on to explain (1) whether they were successful in completing the relevant projects nor (2) whether they were kept on as a project lead after probation. Instead, the candidate should have given a specific outcome quantified with factual details and numbers wherever possible. In turn, this would add persuasive weight to the candidate’s writing. In your own work, you should describe the specific outcomes of your actions with as much precise detail as you can.

3. The candidate briefly addresses what they learned, but their writing is quite vague.  They briefly assert that it taught them the importance of being proactive because “this is the best way to learn”, but they never drill down on what they mean by this. Instead, the candidate should have drilled down on (1) precisely what they learned from the experience and (2) how they applied those lessons going forward. The recruiter wants to see that you have reflected on your experience and grown from it, so you should address this part of the question in full.