Why does a career in a city law firm interest you? (250 words)
Commercial law is one of the fundamental pillar stones of society, the main purpose of commercial law being to accomplish the needs of the commercial community, which in turn facilitates commercial activity. From a corporate perspective, I would gain great satisfaction from working with large corporate clients in assisting them to achieve their business objectives. I strive to work in an environment that requires continuous drive to achieve a competitive advantage in the market place. Being able to participate in negotiations that will have a global impact will be stimulating, as I recognise that my work would have a positive impact across several jurisdictions.
[Feedback: This answer is well-written and demonstrates some reflection on what a career in a city law firm entails. Note, some law firms will ask questions about a ‘city law firm’ as opposed to ‘commercial law’ – by and large, this generally invites a discussion about commercial law; however, you must be mindful to answer the question at hand and demonstrate knowledge about ‘the City’ (namely, the City of London) and what that entails for a law firm’s work.
Whilst the answer is well-written, the candidate makes the same misstep of putting too many distinct points into the same paragraph. Furthermore, the candidate makes several claims (about the work of a commercial solicitor and their interests), without much substantiation.
When answering this kind of question, adhere to the PEE/AL structure. Choose one important point and give evidence for the existence of that point. Then develop off that example by presenting an analysis of how and why that example proves your point. Then, link the analysis back to the question at hand.
As a small but important point: ensure correct spelling and grammar. Whilst the candidate’s writing is, on the whole, decent, there are some errors: ‘market place’ should be one word, and ‘pillar stones’ is not the usual turn of phrase – the candidate should have written ‘pillars’ or ‘cornerstones’. These are not egregious errors; nevertheless, law firms will assess the quality of your writing and mark you down for spelling and grammar mistakes. Note, law firms will hold international students to the same high standard as native speakers. Consequently, make sure to proofread your work carefully before submission.]
By attending a discussion hosted by Clifford Chance in regards to emerging markets and technology, I have noticed how commercial law firms are having to adapt to technological advances. This evidences the broad nature of commercial law, as there is an adaptation to progress with the trends of emerging markets and the global economy. A career as a commercial lawyer would be stimulating and rigorous, as I would work individually or in a team to advise some of the most prominent and influential companies on matters that affect the world’s political and economic landscape. Engaging with a wide range of people with topical issues is exciting and thought-provoking, as I would have to use my initiative as well as problem-solving skills to achieve the most successful results.
[Feedback: This answer demonstrates good use of examples/stimuli to evidence the candidate’s point and exhibits decent argumentation. Furthermore, the candidate links their answer back to themselves, highlighting their competencies and interests.
However, the answer becomes slightly vague after the first couple of sentences. This paragraph, ignoring mentions of commercial law and Clifford Chance, could easily apply to a career in investment banking or consultancy. Hence, when addressing a ‘why commercial law’-esque question, you should ensure your answer is commercial law-specific. We would recommend researching what a commercial trainee solicitor actually does and demonstrate awareness of the role in your answer.
Furthermore, if you claim that something is ‘exciting’ or ‘stimulating’, you will need to explain why that is the case. Although the candidate links their answer back to their interests, they do not explain why they have those interests. Having fully fleshed out, personalised examples is key to writing a successful answer, otherwise the recruiter is in danger of dismissing the answer as “anyone could have written it”.]
Please outline why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law? (approx. 300 words max)
The evolving and unpredictable nature of a career in commercial law provides a challenging role, which is highly appealing to me, as this offers an interesting and varied career. It involves working on deals that can be seen in the headlines, which presents the opportunity to work on cutting-edge work, impacting on society. I am equally interested by the analysis and interpretation that is required.
[Feedback: This question is a classic ‘why law?’ style of question and is very common across law firms’ respective application forms. For answers to these kinds of questions, we would recommend adopting a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for each of your paragraphs. In essence, you want to begin by making a claim (namely, a point) about why the career is attractive to you. You then want to provide evidence for that claim and explain how your evidence proves your point. Finally, you want to link your point back to the overall question at hand: explain why your point makes the career attractive to you personally.
This first paragraph makes two points. The first is that the career will offer a variety of work which will keep the candidate interested. The second is that the career presents opportunities for the candidate to work on headline-grabbing deals which will, naturally, impact the world around them.
The candidate could be commended for highlighting features that are definitely a part of the career. As a commercial solicitor, you will have a myriad of different tasks and clients to deal with. Furthermore, over the course of your career, you will work with household names and have the opportunity to impact the world around you (vicariously through helping your client). Naturally, such complex work will mean that you require good analytical skills and sensitivity to real-world factors, which the candidate briefly eludes to in their last sentence.
To improve this answer, the candidate needed to have followed a clearer structure and forwarded a more impactful argument. You should observe that the candidate gives two points in their paragraph rather than one. This thins out the candidate’s argument and means that they do not give any personal examples. This is quite problematic as there is no substantiating evidence for the candidate’s claims. Therefore, the answer is not persuasive and lacks credence. You must remember that any individual can make claims about the career – to stand out from the crowd, you must provide supporting evidence and explanations.
On a related note, the candidate needed to be more specific. The answer has little to no specific detail in the way of facts or statistics. This is an issue as it results in the response being vague. If your answer is vague, it could be written by anyone, and, therefore, the recruiter is likely to reject your answer in favour of a candidate who was more specific (and, consequently, produced a more persuasive and believable answer).]
I am interested in the commercial drive of businesses and the role that commercial law plays in helping businesses achieve their goals. This demands a close client relationship in order to understand the changing aspects of their business within the global economy. My interest in the commercial world began when I worked in retail, as I built an understanding of how to approach and assist clients to solve their problems. I became interested in economic growth, profit margins and how businesses adapt to a competitive marketplace.
[Feedback: This paragraph focuses on the candidate’s interest in the commercial aspect of commercial law. The candidate starts with a clear point, clearly highlighting to the recruiter what in particular attracts them to the career. This is elaborated upon in the next sentence, with the candidate providing a short explanation of what exactly their point entails for commercial lawyers. Subsequently, the candidate then provides some evidence of their interest in commerce by virtue of a personal example, which, in their final sentence, they briefly explain.
The answer has the beginnings of a good response. You should observe how the candidate structures their answer. Aside from providing a link element, the candidate follows a PEEL-like structure. Their sentences are short and do not have flowery or overly complex language. This is to be commended. Many candidates try to show off by writing in flowing prose or using elaborate phrases. This is not necessary. Recruiters will not be impressed with such writing styles. Your objective should be to communicate your argument, examples, and explanations as clearly as possible. The recruiter wants to understand the content of your answer and see your employment of a clear writing style. Ornamental language does not have a place in professional communication and should be shunned in favour of simplicity.
Furthermore, you should note how the candidate attempts to reference a personal example to evidence their claims and analysis. You must remember that the question asks why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law. Therefore, you must not only discuss what the career has to offer but also why you, in particular, desire such offerings. For instance, in this answer, the candidate argues that the career offers the opportunity to help ‘businesses achieve their goals’ and then tries to prove why that matters to them by citing their work ‘in retail’ and what that enabled them to develop.
To improve this answer, the candidate needed to have been more specific with respect to their personal example and included a link section at the end of their paragraph. The candidate writes in very broad terms. For instance, they write that they ‘worked in retail’. This gives no real indication of what the candidate did (where they worked, what their role was, or what tasks they undertook).
Although you may have a separate section in the application form to discuss your work experience, you must ensure that you fully flesh out any references to your prior work experience in your answers. There is no guarantee that the recruiter will have read your work experience section before reading or answers (or that the same recruiter will read both parts of the form). When drafting your answers, you should imagine that the recruiter is reading it for the first time and has no information about you at all. Hence, you should fully flesh out your examples to ensure that your argument is persuasive and engaging.
Furthermore, the candidate needed to have included a link at the end of their answer. Ultimately, the candidate highlights that the career gives them an opportunity to help businesses achieve their goals and that this may be something that they are interested in. However, the candidate needed to end the section by relating their discussion back to the career. In what way would their interest or aptitude in commerce be helpful to them in the career or make the career the perfect one for them? The link section not only completes the argument but also acts as a nice conclusion to each of your paragraphs. Therefore, it is important you do not leave it out.]
Commercial law is constantly changing due to the development of technology and artificial intelligence. This helps to fulfil client expectations with efficiency and innovation, whilst reducing mundane tasks for trainees, offering the opportunity to work on more complex tasks. This allows for greater professional and career development.
[Feedback: This paragraph addresses the benefits of legal technology. Ultimately, the candidate is attempting to demonstrate knowledge of the legal industry’s development and make an argument that the career offers ‘greater professional and career development’. Although the paragraph does have shortcomings (as discussed below), the candidate is highlighting some useful points. In your answer to a ‘why law?’ style of question, you are expected to demonstrate your knowledge of the legal industry and the modern role of a commercial lawyer. Hence, the points that the candidate highlights here should be useful to you when you draft your answers.
Nevertheless, it is important that you integrate these points in a well-structured paragraph that has a strong argument. As mentioned before, these questions demand personalised answers. Therefore, it is not good enough for you to merely show off your knowledge about the career. You must argue why it matters to you.
This paragraph could be improved by restructuring it in line with a PEEL format. Though this paragraph makes a sound claim, it does little in the way of forwarding the candidate’s overall argument about why they want a career in commercial law. The reader is left asking, “…so what?” - yes, the career may allow for ‘greater professional and career development’ but why is that important in general and personally for the candidate? Furthermore, the career has greater professional and career development opportunities, but ‘greater’ than what? Other careers? Or than before? And why does that matter?
You should observe that there are a lot of questions thrown up by the candidate’s paragraph which remain unanswered. This is problematic as it is, therefore, an incomplete argument. This results in the candidate’s answer being unconvincing. Given the constrained word count, we would have recommended that the candidate cut this paragraph and use the extra 47 words to develop their existing paragraphs (by, for example, adding in link sections or specific details). Depth is always more preferable than breadth, and, with only 300 words to use, we would recommend making between two to three points/paragraphs maximum.]
Working in the VAT department at KPMG provided the opportunity to analyse cases in relation to food VAT rates for a health-food provider. I was interested in understanding how the outcome of these cases affected the price that the retailer sold the products for, their profits margins and how it measured against its competitors, confirming a career in commercial law.
[Feedback: This section is purely a discussion about the candidate’s work at KPMG. Such work experience is extremely valuable. You should observe how the candidate does not merely state their role and that they worked at KPMG; the candidate goes into some extra detail as to what they did and what they were interested in.
Unfortunately, much like the paragraph above, this section is quite short and lacks development. There is no clear argument as to why the candidate wants to pursue a career in commercial law. Notably, the candidate’s work experience is non-legal. Therefore, it seems strange for the candidate to them claim that their experience at KPMG confirmed a career in commercial law (as opposed to, for example, accountancy).
This is why it is important for you to use a PEEL structure in your answers. Without it, you risk not forwarding a cogent argument or being too vague in your response. Once again, you should aim to write fewer paragraphs with more depth rather than attempting to cover lots of points briefly. The recruiter will be aware of the limited word count. The expectation is that you will choose only the points that are the most important to you as opposed to attempting to show off everything that the career has to offer.]
What attracts you to a career in commercial law?
I am keen on pursuing a career as a commercial lawyer as I am drawn to the advisory aspect of the work. Having participated in the [Russell Group University Activity] working on cases involving employment disputes, I developed an appreciation for the role of lawyers in understanding their clients’ interests and analysing the ‘best’ solution. From this experience, I gained a great sense of satisfaction from helping the client overcome the problems they faced and discovered that client care is essential in creating customer loyalty. Pursuing a career as a commercial lawyer presents the opportunity to work closely with clients as both legal and commercial advisors, to find commercial astute solutions.
Feedback: This question is a typical “why commercial law?” style question and one that the sweeping majority of law firms will ask of you. We advise that you follow a ‘PEEL’ structure (point, evidence, explanation, link) in each paragraph. You want to lead with a claim/point about why this career appeals to you. Then, you will need to provide evidence for that point and explain how that evidence links back to your point. Finally, you will need to link your points back to the question at hand by explaining why your point makes commercial law attractive to you.
This paragraph follows the PEEL structure well. The candidate states their point from the outset, namely that they are drawn to the advisory elements of commercial law. Then, the candidate offers a specific and detailed example of a time they advised clients in a legal context. Next, the candidate explains (1) how they came to understand clients’ interests and analysing the best solution and (2) how they enjoyed helping clients overcome the issues they faced. Finally, the candidate ties their explanations back to the point by indicating what interests them about commercial law.
There are two minor points for improvement. Firstly, the candidate makes a redundant statement that they discovered how “client care is essential in creating customer loyalty”. This does not offer any insight into the candidate’s motivations for commercial law. Instead, it appears to shoehorn in a competency that is uncalled for by the question. Moreover, a cynical recruiter might question why it took the candidate this long to “discover” why client care is an essential element of customer loyalty. Finally, it’s rare to find a lawyer talk of “customers”; they almost always talk about “clients”. This seems like a minor quibble, but it’s helpful to mirror the language used within the legal industry as much as possible to demonstrate that you understand the industry as a whole. To avoid minor issues like this, make sure you read each part of your answer out loud and check that each sentence specifically addresses the question.
Secondly, the candidate could have outlined at the end why working with legal and commercial advisors specifically appeals to them. This would more closely relate their evidence/explanation back to the original point (namely that they like the advisory aspects of commercial law). It would also prevent any questions as to why the candidate chose a commercial law firm as opposed to an employment-centric firm. The candidate is reliant on points (namely that they enjoy understanding the clients’ interest and analysing solutions) which could equally apply to any area of law. As such, the candidate’s reasoning would need to be more specific to commercial law. Though we sympathise with the extremely limited word count, the candidate could have created space by cutting out the redundant statement identified above.
Also, note the typo in the last sentence - “commercial” should be “commercially”. Though a small mistake, you cannot afford grammatical slip-ups when you are competing against thousands of candidates for a small number of places.
Further, I enjoy the strong business focus of commercial work. A lawyer must possess a combination of strong legal expertise and an excellent understanding of the clients’ industry trends. Whilst speaking to partners working on an M&A deal on a link day at Addleshaw Goddard, I witnessed how lawyers structured the transaction in a tax-efficient manner to maximise profitability and gained an insight into how I could play a role in a client’s success.
Feedback: This paragraph focuses on the candidate’s interest in the business elements of commercial law. The candidate begins with a punchy and clear point, clearly indicating to the recruiter a particular feature attracting them to commercial law. The candidate then elaborates on this further in the following sentence, by explaining what their point entails for commercial lawyers (ie they must combine legal expertise with knowledge with industry trends). Subsequently, the candidate evidences their interest in commerce by identifying and explaining a specific personal example.
The answer demonstrates the beginnings of a convincing and well-structured response. You should note how the candidate structures their answer. Other than leaving out the ‘link’ element, the candidate follows a PEEL-like structure. They also use simple and plain language. The language is clear, uncomplicated and straight-to-the point. Many candidates try to impress the recruiter by writing with flowery language and essay-like prose. Recruiters are rarely impressed by such writing. As a commercial lawyer, you will need to write in concise and plain English. Commercial clients do not have time to unpack flowery language and essay-like prose. As such, you will need to demonstrate your ability to write with simplicity. Take note of how this candidate writes answers. Then, make sure your own answers communicate points, examples and explanations as clearly as possible.
You ought also to observe how the candidate backs their point with a personal example. The recruiter wants to know why you have chosen this career path. As such, you must not just describe what the career offers you but also why you desire such offerings. Here, the candidate points out that they like how lawyers combine commercial and legal expertise, before explaining how they saw this in practice at Addleshaw Goddard’s open day.
To improve, the candidate needed to link their evidence/explanations back to the point. The candidate highlights how lawyers structure M&A deals in a tax-efficient manner to maximise profitability, whilst also indicating interest in how commercial lawyers bring success for clients. However, they do not link their explanations back to the overall argument. Why did this appeal to the candidate specifically? Why would they enjoy this kind of work for business clients? The link section would have completed the candidate’s argument and also would have nicely wrapped up the candidate’s paragraph.
As a sales associate in a retail store, I demonstrated client-focus when providing tailored product recommendations and performing frequent stock checks for customers. I also appreciate the opportunity that commercial law provides for continuous development, through the necessity to adapt to changing markets and continuous innovation. Over the summer, I decided to broaden my understanding of the types of commercial services firms such as AG are providing, by undertaking a [Name of Legal Skill Course] conducted by [Name of Startup]. I particularly enjoyed listening to how AI is changing the legal landscape and allowing firms to focus on improving client experience through the smart delivery of legal services. I am therefore attracted to AG because of the firm’s reputation as a leader in innovation and feel my creative nature makes AG a compatible firm for me.
Feedback: This paragraph addresses the benefits of legal technology (and AI in particular). Firstly, the candidate attempts to demonstrate knowledge of innovation trends in the legal industry whilst also arguing that the careers offers chances for continuous development. Though this paragraph is perhaps the weakest, it showcases some useful points. In answering “why law?” questions, the recruiters need to see that you understand both the commercial law industry and the modern role of commercial lawyers. As such, you should consider the points the candidate makes when drafting your own answers.
That said, you must integrate your knowledge into a well-structured paragraph explaining why commercial law appeals to you. The recruiter wants to see personalised reasons for your interest in the career. It is not enough simply to show off your knowledge of legal technology and its impacts on the industry. You must argue why it is important to you by using the PEEL structure.
As such, the candidate should have re-structured this paragraph. It does little to develop the candidate’s overall motivations for commercial law. At the beginning, the reader is left asking “so what?”. Yes, commercial law provides opportunities for “continuous development”, but why is this important to the candidate? Do other areas of the law not provide continuous development? Furthermore, the candidate tries to advance their argument by stating that they worked in retail. Though we are given insight into what the candidate did and what they learned, it is not clear how this experience relates back to the candidate’s wider points about commercial law. It reads as though it were shoehorned in. Instead, the candidate could cut this sentence out and focus their answer on (1) why legal technology spurred on their interest in commercial law, (2) offer the legal skill course as evidence, (3) explain how this evidence supports their point and (4) link at back to point (1).
You should also note that you do not need to link your motivations back to AG at this stage. This is uncalled for by the question and, frankly, feels a little weak in this answer where the candidate compares AG’s reputation for innovation against his or her own creative nature.Instead, focus on your motivations for commercial law in the abstract and explain why each point appeals to you.
What attracts you to a career in commercial law and why specifically at Addleshaw Goddard? * 330 words
I was drawn to a career in commercial law due to the client relationship aspect. I established and managed a hair business for three years. Throughout my experience, I significantly enjoyed building relationships with clients and sought a career that would allow me to do this.
Feedback: The candidate does well to state their point clearly from the outset, namely by clearly highlighting their interest in the client relationship elements of commercial law. However, we think that this point is a little basic and rudimentary. All career paths involve the building of client relationships in some capacity. If you wanted to be very cynical, you could question why the candidate wants to be a commercial lawyer as opposed to managing a hair business!
Instead, the candidate needs to drill down on specifically how commercial lawyers attract business clients (and why that interests them). You need to distinguish commercial law from other careers before explaining why those unique features appeal to you.
Another reason for my interest is due to an internship with [redacted company]’s in-house legal team I was selected for in my first year of university. Actively participating in tasks like researching and drafting termination letters was both insightful and enjoyable, and seeing how commercial lawyers use research and communication skills to meet [redacted company]'s objectives piqued my interest. Furthermore, realising the fit between my entrepreneurial mindset and the role of a commercial lawyer fuelled my enthusiasm for this career path.
Feedback: This paragraph makes good use of personalised and specific evidence. By introducing a specific example of commercial legal experience, the candidate demonstrates sustained and authentic interest in commercial law. The candidate also takes the opportunity to highlight some skills that directly apply to the career in commercial law.
That said, the candidate should have strengthened their answer in two regards:
The candidate should have drawn a closer connection between their work at Burberry and their interest in commercial law. Though the candidate does this at a basic level, they do not explain specifically why they found the drafting of letters “insightful and enjoyable”. Similarly, the candidate asserts an interest in how lawyers apply research/communication skills. This reasoning is not specific enough to commercial law – most City career paths will involve this kind of work at a high level. Instead, the candidate should have summarised how commercial lawyers apply these skills and why that ultimately appeals to them.
The candidate vaguely asserts that they have an entrepreneurial mindset but does not develop this point any further.
The wider message is that your points must be well-tailored and backed up by specific evidence. It is insufficient simply to assert an interest in basic points without explaining them further.
Please outline why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law? (approx. 300 words max)
My interest in commerce stems from my previous work experiences. In accordance with the existing financial difficulties in the retail sector, I witnessed the challenges businesses can face while working at M&S. While working at a take-away, I noticed an increase in competing takeaways opening in the local area. In response, I opened a Facebook account for the business as a cost-efficient method of advertising. The successful outcome this yielded, including less fact-checking calls which allowed me to serve customers faster and improve customer satisfaction, increased my fascination in the competitive yet rewarding nature of business. However, my experience as a volunteer at Citizens Advice, where I spent several months advising my clients, confirmed I would enjoy the advisory role of a commercial lawyer in solving clients’ both commercial and legal problems.
I also believe a career in commercial law follows aptly from my International Relations degree; I enjoyed engaging with different theories and collating them into persuasive arguments. Similarly, the need to analyse large quantities of information as a commercial lawyer, and draw the most practical conclusion to clients’ problems highly appeals to me. Equally, I have a desire to work in a challenging environment. My experience at Citizens Advice offered me an in-depth insight into the high level of responsibility of a lawyer and the challenges lawyers face in their everyday role. It is this continuous opportunity to adapt, learn and grow, both personally and professionally as a commercial lawyer, that has further solidified my interest in commercial law.
Feedback: This candidate splits their answer into two parts: (1) why a commercial career and (2) why a career as a lawyer. If you wish to adopt this structure, we would swap the order of the two points: law is the foundation; commercial law is the focus. Given the candidate has not studied law at undergraduate degree, it makes sense to explain “why law” first.
The candidate has the right idea in terms of how they have answered the question. They use examples to provide evidence of their motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law. We have two suggestions:
● Use the Point, Evidence, Explanation structure in short-form answers such as this and focus on developing three or four convincing, fully-formed reasons about why you are pursuing a career in commercial law. For example:
○ Point: “I want to work in a fast-paced environment”
○ Evidence: “Having combined my International Relations degree with a voluntary position at Citizens Advice for five hours per week and a part-time job at M&S for a further 10 hours, I know that I enjoy working in a dynamic environment where I will have to manage my time effectively”
○ Explanation: “This will equip me well for a career in commercial law where lawyers must balance multiple competing demands on their time while ensuring that all work that they deliver is of the highest quality”
● Use one unique example per point. The candidate talks extensively about Citizens Advice. This is an inefficient use of the limited word count and makes the reader question whether s/he has sufficient breadth of experience.]
Note also that some of the language in this answer could be improved. For example, the candidate incorrectly uses “less” when s/he should use “fewer”. It’s also a bit archaic and abstract to refer to the for-profit sector as “commerce”; “commercial firms”, “business” or similar works better here.]
Why have you chosen a legal career in the City? Explain what motivates you. (250 Words)
My reasons for a legal career in the city are:
1. The City of London – attracts me as it has a reputation for being the leading financial centre. Comparatively to other cities around the UK, London has a more extensive and diverse talent pool, better connections to the world, and is home to the headquarters of many global businesses. For example, according to statistics from ‘Eventbrite’, there are twice as many networking events in London as compared to the UK’s second-largest city – Manchester. Therefore, for an aspiring commercial solicitor such as myself, London offers more networking opportunities.
[Feedback: The candidate immediately addresses the first half of the question, honing in on their attraction to the City of London. This is not a straightforward question to answer, however, the candidate picks out some of the essential features of the City, and, crucially, substantiates their claims with evidence (which is hard to do for this kind of question, but when accomplished, marks the candidate out above the rest).
As a point of improvement, there are lots of great points packed into quite a punchy paragraph. In your answers, as far as possible, it is best to stick to one point per paragraph, and implement a PEE/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). If too many points are clustered in one paragraph, the overall argument may drop in quality or clarity. Whilst this candidate raises some pertinent points about the City and why it might be attractive, the argument is a little confused: the paragraph starts off expressing motivation towards the City for being a financial centre, whilst the concluding line highlights that it is attractive for networking events.]
Networking is essential as by building good relationships with individuals such as leaders in venture capital, you would receive the ‘inside scoop’ on deals before they are broadcasted. By receiving information earlier, as a solicitor, you would have a head start in proposing and bidding to act as legal counsel on the matter. Therefore, solicitors working in London will have a competitive edge as compared to others.
[Feedback: Be wary of slightly clunky wording and tense choices: we would recommend using the third impersonal pronoun, unless expressing your opinion, in which case use the first person. Avoid writing ‘you’ – it can come across as informal and ‘off’ in tone. Furthermore, the question is about ‘you’ writing the answer (namely, ‘I’ or ‘me’) not about ‘you’ the recruiter reading the application!]
2. The square mile, which gives the City of London its name and reputation, is home to the largest financial and international companies in England. Akin Gump’s office is roughly a 20 minutes’ walk to the City of London, which is ideal for an international firm that has key clients in that area. Based on the geography and the efficiency that is required, the firm is ideally situated, which translate to trainees being exposed to highly reputable clients with an arguably never-ending pool of interesting cases.
[Feedback: This paragraph is substantially shorter than the previous point. Try and balance your points with regards to word count. This ensures that you explore each point in adequate depth, and you avoid half-hearted answers.
This candidate’s paragraph gives a nice exposition of the City of London and Akin Gump; however, it does not translate into a strong argument. The question asks why the City of London is attractive and what motivates you – this answer goes some way in answering the question (the City is home to large international clients and therefore is a hotbed for interesting matters); however, it could do with greater substantiation in the form of evidence, as well as a stronger link back to the candidate and their personal interests (why do you find international client work interesting?).]
What motivates you to pursue a career as a commercial Solicitor? Explain how you would add value as a Trainee in the London office of Akin Gump.
My work experience has motivated me to pursue a career as a commercial solicitor. During work experience at [redacted regional firm], I enjoyed engaging with cases, researching points of law and merging this with commercial considerations. Subsequently, I confirmed my commitment to a career at a city law firm during vacation schemes at Hogan Lovells and Taylor Wessing. I particularly enjoyed sitting in corporate M&A at Hogan Lovells. The complexity involved in large multijurisdictional M&A transactions, including the variety of areas of law such as acquisition finance and competition, appeals to me. Moreover, I sat in restructuring and insolvency and found advising companies at such a critical juncture, as well as the impactful nature of the work, incredibly interesting. The variation in work in the practice area also appealed to me, spanning across transactional and contentious law.
Feedback: This paragraph addresses the first part of the prompt, i.e., “What motivates you to pursue a career as a commercial Solicitor?”. Its topic sentence closely mirrors the wording of the prompt and enables the reader to anticipate and follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease. At the same time, its principal claim is reasonably well-substantiated through examples that illustrate the extent of the candidate’s relevant work experience. To lend even more credibility to that claim, the candidate could have mentioned any concrete tasks that they undertook or any concrete lessons that they learnt as part of their work experience (e.g., “I particularly enjoyed sitting in corporate M&A at Hogan Lovells, where I conducted legal research and proofread legal documents”). What makes this paragraph particularly effective, however, is the fact that it correctly identifies and draws on several distinctive aspects of a career as a commercial solicitor, including the complexity of the work, the variety thereof, and the high stakes involved therein. To make this answer even more persuasive, the candidate could have explained why these aspects appeal to them (e.g., “The complexity involved in large multijurisdictional M&A […] appeals to me because undertaking challenging work motivates me”).
As a trainee I would add value to the firm by applying my entrepreneurial, hardworking nature to the role. An example of this is when I worked at my father’s catering butchers and I spearheaded the development of a shop. I managed this Monday to Saturday in addition to generating marketing material and expanding the shop's product range to enhance the customer experience. This proactive attitude will push me to seek out work as a trainee and ensure that I am contributing as much as I can to Akin Gump. This will be further facilitated by my strong communication skills that have been honed in a variety of roles such as working at Refinitiv.
Feedback: This paragraph addresses the second part of the prompt, i.e., “Explain how you would add value as a Trainee in the London office of Akin Gump”. Echoing the comment made supra, its readability is immediately boosted by its topic sentence and its credibility is cultivated through an illustrative example. What makes this paragraph particularly persuasive is the fact that it references attributes that US-heritage firms such as Akin Gump tend to look for in candidates, i.e., entrepreneurship and proactivity, and it explains their relevance to the role of a trainee solicitor. For emphasis, the candidate could have framed their answer in terms of Akin Gump’s small trainee intake for its London office. For instance, they could have argued that a particularly entrepreneurial, proactive trainee such as themselves could add a great deal of value to their work environment because they would be entrusted with more responsibility and more high-stakes tasks within a small trainee intake versus a large trainee intake. In other words, their entrepreneurial drive and their proactive attitude would go further in a small trainee intake versus a large trainee intake. To fit the foregoing into the allocated word count, the candidate could have omitted the last sentence, not least because it does not add any value to their answer; it shoehorns a broad, inadequately substantiated claim into an otherwise fine answer.
Please use this section to tell us about yourself, your skills, achievements and why you want to train as a solicitor and work at Ashurst.
I am a first-class English literature graduate studying the GDL at the University of Law, Moorgate. With varied and robust legal work experience, I am applying for a direct training contract with Ashurst.
Feedback: For all intents and purposes, this question asks you to write a cover letter. It is crucial that you structure it effectively. As such, you should split your answer into distinct sections addressing each element of the question with 2-3 compelling points. We advise the following approach: (1) why commercial law, (2) why Ashurst and (3) why you (with your achievements backing your points up). This means you can start your letter broadly, before honing in on why Ashurst should interview you.
There is nothing wrong with a brief introductory paragraph. That said, the recruiters already know that the candidate is a first-class English Literature graduate studying the GDL at ULaw. The candidate could safely cut this out if pressed for space.
I have decided to become a commercial solicitor because I find the prospect of working on commercial matters exciting. Commercial law requires an understanding of specific industries to assist clients in achieving their strategic goals, including the key risks and opportunities associated with different commercial sectors. This requires a deeper level of business understanding and grasping industry nuances and their wider implications is something I find stimulating. For example, during my internship at XXX, I enjoyed applying my commercial knowledge when identifying a clause that distorted the meaning of an IP contract relating to a music video.
Feedback: For “why commercial law?” answers, we advise adopting a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for each paragraph. You should begin by making a point/claim about why you find the career attractive. You should then provide evidence for that claim and explain how that evidence proves your point. Lastly, you must link your point back to the overall question at hand: explain why your point makes the career path interesting to you. We recommend, as this candidate has done, that you offer at least two detailed reasons so that you demonstrate what the profession involves.
This candidate does well to provide a specific example of a time wherein they applied commercial knowledge in a legal context. That said, the candidate needs to improve this paragraph in two ways. Firstly, the candidate’s point is not specific enough to the work of commercial solicitors. While commercial solicitors certainly assist clients in achieving their goals, this is not unique to commercial law. Both investment bankers and consultants will all “grasp industry nuances” and assist clients with “strategic goals”/”key risks and opportunities”. In fact, if you are truly interested in the commercial implications of your advice, a career in consulting or investment banking might suit you better. To improve, the candidate must demonstrate that they understand how commercial lawyers help clients. It is not enough simply to say that commercial law is exciting because it involves commercial matters.
While you should read our blog article on “why commercial law” for further details, our view is that one of commercial law’s distinguishing features is that you must help your clients anticipate and pre-emptively manage risk associated with a transaction (e.g., what happens if one party defaults on their obligations, what happens if one party wants to voluntarily terminate the agreement, etc.). Like insurance, a large part of commercial law is about the management of risk to avoid significant loss.
Secondly, the candidate’s explanations and evidence are unsubstantiated. Though the candidate asserts an interest in industry nuances and business trends, it is unclear how the candidate’s evidence (namely that they worked on an IP contract) relates to this. The candidate needs to tie their evidence and explanations together, before explaining how their evidence proves their point. We are also left asking ourselves “so what?” at numerous points. The candidate tells us that they enjoyed applying commercial knowledge when identifying a clause in an IP contract, but they do not tell us how they did this or why this relates to their point. Without further explanation, the recruiters will question the relevance of this experience.
Your answers should always follow the PEEL structure so that the reader can follow your argument.
I find analysing the impact of long-term dynamic forces and short-term change on business interesting. The prospect of applying a critical analysis of market trends and industry responses to the execution of transactions is appealing. The opportunity to implement these conclusions, for example, in the way facilities agreements might be negotiated and drafted, now with the inclusion of a force majeure, is something I enjoy. Ashurst's strengths in finance, project finance and infrastructure would mean consistent exposure to work that requires a consideration of evolving commercial climates as a trainee.
Feedback: The candidate begins to touch upon some examples of the work commercial lawyers do. That said, this paragraph suffers from the same flaw as the previous. The candidate’s central point is not specific to commercial law. When drafting “why law?” answers, you should always ask yourself whether you can replace commercial law with a similar profession. One such example would be as follows:
● “I want to be a commercial solicitor because I find the impact of long-term dynamic forces and short-term changes on business interesting”.
Here, you could easily replace “commercial solicitor” with the following and it makes just as much sense:
● “I want to be an investment banker because I find the impact of long-term dynamic forces and short-term changes on business interesting”.
If you can do this, then your reasoning isn’t specific enough.
Though the candidate starts tailoring their reasoning to commercial law towards the end, we are only told that drafting facilities agreements is “something the candidate would enjoy”. The candidate never elaborates on why they find this interesting, nor do they offer any examples in support of this. The candidate also name-drops force majeure clauses but does not show any understanding of what this means. The candidate also offers no evidence or examples to prove their points. Furthermore, the candidate does not need to tailor the paragraph to Ashurst yet (and in any case the candidate never explains why they are interested in project finance). The candidate should only focus on why they want to become a commercial solicitor at this point.
To improve, the candidate should have re-structured this paragraph so that it closely follows the PEEL structure. They should have led in with one well-tailored point about why they want to be a commercial solicitor. Then, they should have provided specific evidence to back up their point and explained it in full. Finally, they should have included a “link” at the end between their evidence/explanations and their overall point.
The candidate also make a minor grammatical mistake in the final sentence - “a consideration” should just be “consideration”. Though this might seem very minor, you should remember that recruiters are looking for any reason to reject your application.
The strength of the finance practice at Ashurst in London is particularly attractive. An important experience for me that encouraged my pursuance of commercial law was negotiating with prospective participants when working for [redacted organisation] (a reusable cup scheme in Oxford). I negotiated the terms of their involvement and recruited five cafés to take part in our launch which equated to an 83% success rate. I would anticipate applying these skills when negotiating share purchase or facilities agreements.
Feedback: The candidate now moves onto the “why Ashurst” element of the question. We would recommend providing 2-3 well-tailored paragraphs that follow the PEEL structure. You should focus on the firm’s work, training and culture in descending order of priority. This candidate begins by discussing Ashurst’s work in finance, before later explaining why they want to train there.
The first half of this paragraph follows the PEEL structure reasonably well. The point of attraction is clearly stated, whilst the succeeding evidence is based on the candidate’s personal experiences. The candidate’s evidence is described well, with the candidate stating clearly (1) what their involvement was and (2) what the outcome was (with a specific statistic given to support this). The reason for the candidate’s motivation for Ashurst is also chosen well. It gets to the core aspect of a law firm, namely its work.
To improve, the candidate should have tailored their point to Ashurst much more closely. The candidate asserts that Ashurst has a strong finance practice, but offers no detail to substantiate this point (e.g., that the department is rated as Band 1 or 2 by Legal 500 or that it includes a particular partner who is recongised as an expert in his or her field). As such, the point comes across as generic. Again, the rule of thumb to follow is that if you can replace the firm’s name with a competitor’s name, then your point is not specific enough. For instance, you could easily replace the candidate’s point with the following sentence:
“The strength of the finance practice at Norton Rose Fulbright in London is particularly attractive”.
This means that the point is not tailored well enough to Ashurst.
Furthermore, the candidate never links their experience/evidence back to Ashurst’s finance practice nor explains why that evidence made finance appealing to them. The candidate instead asserts that they would “apply these skills when negotiating share purchase agreements” without explaining how they would do this or why it relates to Ashurst’s finance practice. It seems that this example would be better off in the achievements/skills section.
Finally, you should avoid words like “in pursuance”. No one talks like this in real life. It sounds pretentious and does not demonstrate your ability to clearly communicate.
I would be excited to train with Ashurst given the continual growth of its London office. The lateral hires of Daniel Franks, Jaques McCheseney, Rhiannon Webster and Etay Katz between 2020 and 2021 indicate the firm's commitment to providing value add to clients. I would relish the opportunity to consistently contribute to quality work for prestigious clients due to this notable offering within the legal market.
Feedback:In this paragraph, the candidate continues with their motivations for training at Ashurst. The candidate concisely states their point, before offering specific named examples to back up the point (namely that Ashurst has made several lateral hires in recent times). This specific evidence demonstrates that the candidate has researched Ashurst and knows about its recent performance.
This paragraph requires the same improvement points as the previous. Firstly, the central point is not tailored to Ashurst. While it is true that Ashurst has experienced continual growth in London, the same can be said for nearly every prestigious commercial law firm in the City post-covid as deal flow increasedThe candidate could enhance this point by (1) identifying distinctive parts of Ashurst’s growth strategy in London (e.g., a focus on a particular area) or (2) provide evidence that Ashurst’s growth outstrips competitors (e.g., X% p.a. growth between 2020-21 vs. Y% average).
Secondly, the candidate does not offer any quality analysis of their evidence. The candidate simply name-drops lateral hires and asserts an obvious point that these hires would “add value to clients”. We are not told which teams these partners joined or why Ashurst hired them. Consequently, the candidate’s reasoning is not tailored well enough. Every major City law firm will have made lateral hires within 2020-21, not just Ashurst.
Furthermore, the candidate attempts to link their explanations back to their point but does not do so particularly well. The candidate simply asserts that they want to contribute to quality work for prestigious clients, without explaining how this relates to Ashurst’s finance practice. To improve, the candidate needs to link their evidence back to their interest in Ashurst’s finance work. We are mindful that the question’s word count constrains candidates, but you should always provide as much detail as you can and stick to a clear PEEL structure.
We would also recommend avoiding flowery language wherever possible. The candidate uses the word “relish”, which recruiters often cite as a prime example of clichéd flowery language. “Relish” is specifically identified as such by Shearman & Sterling’s lead recruiter (see point 12 in this article:
Commercial law clients have no time to unpack flowery language and essay-like prose. They will expect you to write plainly, clearly and accessibly. As such, recruiters will assess whether you can write in a manner that is concise and easy to understand.
Ashurst's key industry focus allowed it to rebound from the Pandemic in 2020 and continue to take market share. Its capacity to assist clients with unprecedented matters, for example, supporting Santander in relation to the Coronavirus Business Interruption Loan schemes, indicates I would be able to apply my innovative thinking as a trainee to contribute to the firm's ability to generate market-leading work in times of crisis.
Ashurst's commitment to innovation is therefore appealing. I appreciate how the NewLaw Division has had an 11% increase in total firm production hours which strengthens the firm's capacity for client work and results in exposure to varied work as a trainee.
Feedback: The candidate seems to be making the point that Ashurst’s work is innovative (and as such, this appeals to them). You should note how the candidate uses specific examples and evidence to back up their arguments. Firstly, the candidate identifies a specific case that Ashurst worked on. This demonstrates that the candidate has researched Ashurst to a high level and has gone beyond simply reading graduate recruitment materials. Secondly, the candidate not only names an innovative Ashurst programme (the NewLaw division) but provides a statistic demonstrating how Ashurst’s innovations have improved its productivity as a business. This is the level of detail that you need to go into when backing up your points.
Once again, the candidate needed to tie this evidence back to their point and explain why it interests them. The candidate asserts that Ashurst’s innovations appeal to them, but never explains why this personally motivates them. We are mindful of the tight word count. As such, the candidate could have cut down on redundant and long-winded sentences (namely “I would be able to apply my innovative thinking to contribute to the firm’s ability to generate market-leading work in times of crisis”) so they could save space. This gives the candidate more space to drill down on their explanations and link evidence back to their overarching point.
You should also vary your sentence structure as much as possible. Much of the candidate’s writing is long-winded. You are not writing an essay or a novel. If you can split up your sentences or vary the structure, then you should do so.
We also do not like the candidate’s random capitalisation of words such as the “Pandemic”. While it was undoubtedly a seismic event, it does not require capitalisation. You should check the Economist’s style guide (which is freely available online) if you are unsure whether your grammar is correct.
I am impressed at Ashurst's ability to work seamlessly on complex cross-border matters. I understand that the firm's unique full financial integration encourages collaboration between its offices and adds to this strength. Whilst at XXX, I enjoyed observing a multi-jurisdictional dispute and would look forward to the challenge of providing technical solutions to legally complex matters at Ashurst.
Feedback: The candidate follows PEEL reasonably well in the first half of the paragraph. The candidate concisely states their point, before tailoring their point somewhat by explaining how Ashurst has unique full financial integration (which in turn allows each office to work seamlessly). Then, the candidate brings in a specific example of a time they observed a multi-jurisdictional dispute as evidence to back up their point.
To improve, the candidate again needs to explain what they found interesting about the multi-jurisdictional dispute. It is not enough simply to say that they “enjoyed” observing one. The candidate would then need to link their explanations back to the point much more clearly. The candidate concludes by stating that they could provide “technical solutions to complex matters”, but this reads like a separate point altogether. The candidate would need to tie their own experience with multi-jurisdictional disputes back to their interest in Ashurst.
I possess the requisite skill set for a career in commercial law. I enjoy problem-solving and welcome challenges as I find the analytical process rewarding. I demonstrated strong skills in this regard when I implemented a three-step process to improve my teams' ability to meet disclosure deadlines when working on the document review for a High Court Construction case at national law firm, XXX.
Feedback: In these final paragraphs, the candidate addresses the “why you” element. They discuss their key skills and achievements to date. The candidate rightly takes the opportunity to demonstrate all the key competencies gained from their achievements to date, which might be relevant to a career in commercial law at Ashurst.
The candidate can clearly draw a lot of evidence from their work experience. Notwithstanding that, we always recommend drilling down on the examples given and explaining when each was achieved/undertaken. By giving a chronology, you can show Ashurst how your abilities/skills have evolved and what you plan to do to progress them further. The candidate could have done so here by stating the year of their achievements, and by using language that ties all these examples together.
We would also recommend that every experience specifically backs up their point. Here, the candidate talks about problem-solving as a key skill. They would want to identify a specific example of a problem they faced during this case (perhaps the team struggled to meet disclosure deadlines due to some unforeseen event). Then, the candidate can explain how they overcame this by implementing a three-stage process.
Applying knowledge in a specific context allows me to draw on my critical thinking skills. My first class degree and current GDL average of 75% demonstrate my ability to tackle intellectual challenges perceptively. I have applied this aptitude in a legal context by successfully annotating a 3000 document litigation bundle.
Feedback: We recommend that you avoid using your grades as an example of an achievement, unless you can quantify it somehow (e.g. you were in the top X% of your class, or won a scholarship as a result) and overcame some challenges in achieving said grades. A lot of candidates will cite their grades as an achievement, which in turn will make your writing less unique. In any case, the candidate would need to explain how they applied their skills from the GDL in order to tackle the bundle comprising 3000 documents.
It’s also not fully clear whether the bundle is 3,000 words, 3,000 pages or 3,000 documents. 3,000 documents makes the most sense in this context, but it’s not completely clear. The reader is left wondering how big the bundle was, rather than admiring the candidate’s achievement.
Finally, the candidate assets that they “successfully” annotated the bundle. Who judged their success? This an assertion; it does not credibly evidence the candidate’s critical thinking skills.
I am highly organised and take ownership of my workstreams. As a clerk, I prioritised to ensure urgent authorities bundles were completed promptly and that court deadlines were met.
Feedback: The candidate describes their work as a clerk generically here but does not substantiate it with any specific examples of how they organised their work and took ownership. Given word constraints, the candidate could have cut this out altogether and leverage the word count more effectively elsewhere. The candidate presumably would have described this in the work experience section anyway.
I have built and maintained professional relationships with ease as a clerk, office administrator, and developer of a sustainable scheme. I understand the importance of clear communication and the necessity to build client trust through thoughtful interactions. Through volunteering with a reading charity, I have developed the skill of translating information into digestible concepts. This is relevant to making complex legal concepts accessible to clients which I believe is a vital skill for a commercial solicitor.
Feedback: The candidate briefly touches upon their volunteering experiences here. Volunteering is a great way to show firms your commitment, organisation and motivation. Just by presenting this example, the candidate is already beginning to convince Ashurst of their competencies and their suitability for the role.
That said, the candidate should have drilled down on their volunteering experience further. How did they develop the skill of translating information into digestible concepts? Why is this important for commercial clients? To save the space, the candidate should have cut out the first half of their paragraph. They will have the opportunity to discuss their work as a clerk/office administrator/sustainable scheme developer elsewhere in their applications. As such, the candidate should take this opportunity to drill down on their volunteering work.
Please use this section to tell us about yourself, your skills, achievements and why you want to train as a solicitor and work at Ashurst. (738 words)
I want to work as a commercial lawyer as it is engaging to immerse myself in the commercial aspects of a client's business. For example, as a debt recovery paralegal, I acted on behalf of several 'Big Six' energy providers. I was exposed to the commercial implications of the recent energy crisis and the breakdown in trust between our clients and their customers. I helped to rebuild this relationship by creating a complaints log to refer specific issues, such as Ombudsman complaints, to the client. I also ensured that any complex details were explained clearly to debtors, such as Ofgem guidelines throughout the Supplier of Last Resort process. As a result, our Q2 recoveries exceeded targets by over 150% and we received minimal complaints from debtors. I enjoy considering both commercial and legal issues in conjunction; it highlights the real-world impact that the law can have on businesses. As such, I would embrace the opportunity to work at Ashurst, where lawyers act as commercial, rather than purely legal, advisors.
Feedback: This is a classic cover letter requiring you to cover (1) why you want to be a commercial solicitor, (2) why you have specifically chosen Ashurst and (3) why you are suited to a career at Ashurst. In that sense, the candidate has structured this section well. The candidate splits it out into three distinct paragraphs addressing each element of the cover letter, which in turn makes the candidate’s writing easy to read and follow.
Starting with this first paragraph, the candidate adopts the PEEL/AL structure well (point, evidence, explanation, link). The candidate begins by addressing the question directly. They state a concise point outlining their reason for interest in commercial law. Then, the candidate deploys specific and personalised evidence in support of their point. We particularly like the level of detail that the candidate gets into. The candidate highlights a specific and relevant experience, before painting it with statistical and factual details. This adds persuasive weight to the candidate’s overall argument. It demonstrates a clear, consistent interest in commercial law. Finally, the candidate explains how this experience developed their interest in commercial law. They finally link the evidence/explanations back in with their initial point of interest. This results in a coherent paragraph that the recruiter can easily follow.
That said, this paragraph needed to improve in a couple of regards. First, the candidate’s initial point is not particularly well-tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts that they want to “immerse themselves in commercial aspects of a client’s business”. However, this is not a unique feature of commercial law. Any advisory or consultancy position would allow you to immerse yourself in a similar way. Although the candidate goes on to explain why this point is relevant to commercial law, it nonetheless leaves a questionable first impression on the recruiter.
Secondly, the candidate’s writing about their debt recovery experience is a little unfocused. The candidate argues that they developed an interest in “considering commercial and legal issues in conjunction”, but does not explain precisely what these issues were nor how they interested the candidate. Instead, the candidate seems to discuss their experience as though it were addressing a competency question. The candidate spends time telling us how they helped the company exceed targets, but it is not clear how this is relevant to the question. When discussing your personal experiences, you should always make sure they contribute to your wider arguments in some fashion.
I am applying to Ashurst specifically as the firm has a friendly and collaborative culture. Whilst all firms state they have a friendly culture, during the Evening with Ashurst Event, I learned that these were principles genuinely embedded throughout the firm. For example, trainee Saba Nasrolahi shared how after just two weeks at the firm, she was involved in high-level social inclusion and mobility meetings. The fact that a trainee can participate in prominent internal discussions highlights that Ashurst is a firm that is accepting of trainees and places value on their input. Personally, I enjoy applying myself within a collaborative and accepting culture. As a team leader at the [redacted university] Students' Union, I was given agency to create new initiatives. I organised a [redacted event] charity event, involving over 25 staff members and raising over £1,000 for Sport In Mind. As someone who thrives in a friendly working culture, I see myself as a natural fit for a career at Ashurst.
Feedback: As with the previous paragraph, the candidate structures this paragraph well. They lead in with a point that specifically addresses their interest in Ashurst, before developing that point with detailed research and personalised evidence. We particularly like the following features of this application:
The candidate uses high-quality and detailed research into Ashurst, which flows from their personal experience at an Ashurst event. This helps convert a generic point about Ashurst’s culture into something that is specific and reasonably well-tailored. In attending the event, the candidate also demonstrates that they have a long-term commitment to a career at Ashurst. This demonstrates to the recruiter that the candidate has thought seriously and taken the time to research Ashurst, before ultimately deciding to apply there.
The candidate identifies a subjective feature of Ashurst and tries to back it up with objective points about the firm (i.e. that trainees are involved in social inclusion and mobility meetings from the outset). This goes at least some way in tailoring the candidate’s reasoning towards Ashurst.
The candidate backs up their interest in Ashurst with a specific, detailed personal example that is clearly relevant to the question. The candidate not only name-drops a relevant example, but they explain how it demonstrates their interest in the initial point. This illustrates to the recruiter that the candidate’s personal values/interests align with a career at Ashurst.
Regardless, we are not convinced that candidates should rely on culture as a central motivational point. This is because it is a subjective feature of the firm that is hard to quantify. It is impossible to understand a firm’s culture until you have begun working there. This makes it hard for candidates to tailor their writing and craft persuasive arguments about the firm’s culture. For instance, the candidate asserts that they are interested in Ashurst’s “collaborative and accepting culture”, but nearly all firms will claim that they are accepting and collaborative. It is also difficult to tailor culture points to firms. For instance, the candidate discusses Ashurst’s social inclusion and mobility meetings but this does not go far enough in tailoring their reasoning. Many City law firms will organise socials, committees and diversity networks that trainees can get involved in from the outset. As such, the candidate’s reasoning is not truly tailored enough to Ashurst.
Throughout university, I worked as bar staff for my Students' Union. Approaching my role with enthusiasm, I made a significant impact and I was promoted to Team Leader within just two months. As Team Leader, I developed communication, delegation and leadership skills. In freshers week - the busiest time of the year - I managed a different team every night, composed mostly of new staff. To tackle the problems this posed, I formally introduced myself to each team member and explained their role for the night. Additionally, I ensured that experienced staff were spread throughout the venue so that inexperienced staff could learn by osmosis. This approach allowed us to achieve great results. One memorable night included leading the team to a record-breaking revenue of over £20,000 within a single day. As a result of my interpersonal skills, I was also elected as social secretary of the Union staff base, going on to organise various fundraising and social events. I believe that I can apply my interpersonal skills at Ashurst to forge strong relationships with my colleagues, fitting into the open and friendly culture of the firm.
Feedback: The candidate now moves towards explaining why they are suited to Ashurst. This initial paragraph is strong because the candidate deploys a high-quality position of responsibility, before explaining (1) what they did and (2) identifying a specific example of their success. The candidate writes about their experience succinctly, which makes it easy for the recruiter to infer the skills they might have learned from it. We also like how the candidate quantifies their achievements with specific numerical detail. The candidate identifies a specific amount of money the Student Union raised because of the candidate’s actions. This adds persuasive value to the candidate’s argument and helps the recruiter understand the candidate’s precise impact in their role.
That said, this paragraph needed to improve on the following points:
The candidate has a tendency to “tell” their competencies rather than “showing” them. For instance, the candidate asserts that they developed “communication, delegation and leadership” skills. However, the candidate does not explain precisely how they communicated with staff or applied their delegation skills. In your own writing, you need to make sure that you back up your stated competencies with specific evidence and examples.
The candidate asserts that they would apply interpersonal skills at Ashurst, but does not go much further in tailoring their writing. While it’s true that you would need good communication skills at Ashurst, the same is true for nearly any professional services firm in the City. The question wants to know why you are suited to Ashurst specifically, so you need to make sure that your writing hones in on this point.
I also possess strong analytical skills that I apply to complete tasks with efficiency and purpose. For example, as a debt recovery paralegal, the firm took on a new client and received an influx of 1,000 cases spread between three team members. Over 100 of these cases were linked to the same debtor. This created confusion and inefficiency for the department as different team members were contacting and researching the same individual. Noticing these issues, I took the responsibility for the cases and considered how best to approach the task. The two issues I identified were (1) the lack of a single contact point to resolve the cases, and (2) the confusion caused by the spread of data across 100+ files. Firstly, I placed all the files in my name so that I could serve as the contact for the debtor going forwards. Secondly, I created a spreadsheet which contained the relevant information from all the linked accounts. Effectively, this collated the cases into a single document, which allowed all parties to easily input information to resolve the disputes. As a result of these actions, the files were closed within 6 weeks and we received a record-breaking payment of over £300,000. I believe I can apply these analytical skills to a career at Ashurst to approach tasks efficiently and effectively.
Feedback: This looks to be an excellent paragraph – it is a major improvement on the previously. It follows the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) to a very high level.
First, the candidate identifies a specific example from their work as a debt recovery paralegal. They begin by concisely outlining the situation and tasks/challenges they faced, using quantified and specific numerical detail. By contextualising the challenge and providing numerical values, the candidate’s writing becomes more persuasive. It becomes clear to the recruiter that the candidate can handle high volumes of complex cases with efficiency and organisational skills.
Then, the candidate explains precisely what skills they possess and how they applied them to the situation at hand. Instead of simply “telling” the recruiter they have organisational and analytical skills, the candidate outlines specific and detailed steps they took to achieve a positive outcome. This allows the recruiter to infer competencies from the specific actions carried out by the candidate.
As with the previous paragraph, the candidate also does well to quantify their achievements with specific and quantified details. We are told that the files closed within exactly 6 weeks and resulted in a record level of payments to the firm. This adds great persuasive value, by highlighting the scale and high level of the candidate’s achievements.
As a minor point for improvement, the candidate should have explained more clearly how they developed analytical skills in this situation. The candidate asserts they have analytical skills. However, the candidate’s steps/”actions” seem to focus instead on their organisational skills. The candidate tells us that they improved processes and created spreadsheets, which goes a long way in demonstrating the candidate’s efficiency. It’s less clear how the candidate developed analytical/critical thinking skills through these actions. We think the candidate would be better off modifying their initial point so that it focuses on organisational skills, rather than analytical abilities.
Why do you want to become a solicitor and what key skills do you have that are relevant to the role?
What attracts me to a career as a solicitor is the use of expertise to help clients solve legal problems. I want an intellectually challenging job where I can develop specialist knowledge, but also one where I can build relationships with clients, collaborate in a team, and do work which has a positive impact on the world.
[Feedback: This question appears to have quite a tight word limit of approximately 200 words. Therefore, we would recommend splitting this answer into roughly two to three sections/points. If you do decide to address more than that, you may run the risk of underdeveloped answers. You should remember that depth is always more preferable than breadth when it comes to application answers.
This paragraph has a clear topic sentence and correctly identifies a key attractor of the career: client service/client-orientated work. However, the wider paragraph seems to be a collection of several points rather than being a development of one area, namely, the paragraph’s opening sentence. Whilst the answer is severely limited with regards to word count, by the candidate cramming too many separate points into one paragraph means that each one is substantially underdeveloped.
For instance, the candidate has not explained why they think the career is intellectually challenging and why an intellectually challenging career is attractive to them. As far as possible, we would recommend sticking to a PEE/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link) for your paragraphs.]
As a logical thinker, I enjoy critically assessing arguments, finding their weaknesses and looking at an issue from all perspectives. I am fast learner; for example as an immigration paralegal, I quickly gained in-depth knowledge of immigration law and progressed to drafting advice letters in more complex areas of law such as overseas adoptions.
[Feedback: Again, this paragraph starts off really well, however, the candidate then immediately switches tack and begins discussing another skill. This gives the effect of “shoehorning” skills/points in for the sake of doing so. We would recommend writing about one skill/competency and perhaps mentioning other skills competencies in the course of developing your main answer or explaining your evidence.
The candidate has done well to bring up a personal example to evidence their claim of being a fast learner and has provided some great specificity to lend credence to their answer. You should remember that any and all claims about your skills/competencies, as far as possible, should be evidenced with personal examples.
To improve their answer further, the candidate could have provided a ‘link’ sentence at the end of their paragraph. You should be mindful of the question at hand: ‘what key skills do you have that are relevant to the role?’. This question invites you not only to provide evidence for your competencies but also to explain how you would employ such skills in the role as a trainee commercial solicitor.
Hence, the candidate could have explained how being a fast learner would assist them with in completing a specific task that a trainee would reasonably be expected to do (for example, researching case law/legislation changes to draft a legal note then to be presented and explained to their supervisor).]
I am an empathetic and articulate communicator, and am able to explain complex concepts in an accessible manner. For example, during my volunteering I worked with vulnerable clients with sensitivity, to ensure their applications for exceptional case funding were successful. I also developed my persuasive communication skills at [redacted organisation], successfully pitching fundraising to law firms and raising over £20,000.
[Feedback: Be mindful of spelling and grammar typos and anomalies. The candidate does not necessarily require a comma after ‘communicator’ in the first sentence.
This paragraph reads like the start of two great paragraphs crammed together. If these two sections were taken asunder and developed into full answers, we are sure they would be good answers. However, as it stands, the content of the answer is a little too confused.
For instance, the candidate has started off discussing their communication skills and their articulacy. This is substantiated with a personal example; however, it is unclear how the example links to the identified skills. Though in actuality the candidate may have demonstrated those skills in dealing with vulnerable clients, the lack of further development/explanation of the example, and no link back to the question, means that the example cited does not satisfactorily serve its purpose.
Furthermore, the last sentence of the paragraph reads like a great opening sentence of a separate point; however, in this case, it has been “tagged on” to a completely unrelated point. Though the candidate is talking about communication, they are discussing it with reference to ‘[explaining] complex concepts in an accessible manner’ not regarding ‘persuasive[ness]’.
You should remember to ensure that all of your elements of your PEE/AL structure cohere together and work to substantiate exactly the same point. Otherwise, you may risk writing irrelevant or hypocritical answers which unnecessarily undermine your argument (for example, you do not want to write an unclear answer whilst attempting to claim clear communicative abilities!).]
Finally, I am able to work calmly and efficiently under pressure, and am resilient in the face of challenges or setbacks.
[Feedback: Once again, the candidate certainly demonstrates their knowledge of what skills are required in the role; nevertheless, sentences like these only serve to undermine the quality of their answer. Avoid runaway or “tagged on” sentences – though you might feel pressured to mention certain points, find a way to integrate them appropriately in your answers or avoid bringing them up as one-liners. The reason is not because such statements are incorrect, it is because you are unable to properly evidence, explain and link such points.
Law firms are not just looking for you “say the right things” – any candidate can do that; rather, law firms want to see that you genuinely have the competencies you mention and understand why such competencies are important. Hence, in virtue of what law firms are testing, one-liners simply do not pass muster.]
Please provide your personal statement in the space below. Please outline why have you chosen to become a commercial solicitor and what relevant skills and experience you possess that you feel make you a suitable candidate. (550 Words)
My attraction to the commercial legal profession is a direct result of the ever-changing nature of the commercial law profession; successful lawyers must tailor their advice to their client’s individual circumstances and financial position. This will push me to develop both my legal knowledge and commercial acumen in parallel, ensuring that my work as a lawyer will remain stimulating and challenging over the long-term. I observed this dynamic in practice while working as a paralegal at Freshfields and Slater & Gordon during my university holidays and while participating in recent virtual internships at Latham & Watkins and White & Case. I am excited and motivated by the challenge of adapting to diverse business issues in order to successfully form strategies that guide clients through their complex circumstances.
[Feedback: This section of the application asks for a personal statement and specifies certain points to cover: ‘why commercial law’ and ‘why you’. We would recommend covering both aspects in equal depth and spend approximately an equal amount of the word count on each. This candidate has condensed their answer to why commercial law into just under 130 words. This has resulted in them not addressing the full question: why would you like to be a commercial solicitor? Make sure you break down the question into its component parts to ensure your answer stays relevant and does not miss anything.
Notwithstanding these points, the candidate does a decent job of giving one main point which attracts them to commercial law. The candidate does well to substantiate their answer with personal, legal experiences which impresses upon the reader the candidate’s genuine motivation for a career in commercial law. In motivation questions, legal experiences are excellent ways to demonstrate commitment to and interest in the career, as well as knowledge of what the career actually entails.
To improve this answer, we would recommend spending some more of the word count unpacking the examples given. It is important that you explicitly link back all examples to the question. For example, the candidate should explain what they did during their internships which gave them such an experience and why they enjoy being in an ‘ever-changing’ profession. Note, the answer must go beyond just saying that it is exciting or attractive, and must give a genuine explanation of why that is the case.]
The relevant skills that I possess that would make me a suitable candidate are:
1. My ability to provide accurate and meticulous drafts of legal documents. As a trainee solicitor, I would be relied upon to provide accurate advice and meticulously drafted legal documents. Mistakes cost clients time, money and reputation, so making sure that I am are thorough and have a good eye for detail is vital. Having completed multiple legal internships in [redacted country] and [redacted country], I am able to spot errors efficiently and reduce my own mistakes considerably. By using this skill, I demonstrated my attention to detail sufficiently to be entrusted with proofreading all client documents.
[Feedback: This is a decent answer, if not a little repetitive. They demonstrate knowledge of the tasks being a commercial solicitor entails, and provide personal evidence to substantiate their claims.
The first and second sentences repeat the same idea and actually repeat the same phrases; the word count could have been better spent extrapolating on the evidence given. Whilst giving evidence is good, it needs to be properly developed. When you give examples, make sure that they are personalised and developed. The candidate could have improved by providing more detail about what they did in the internships which helped her develop the skills she cites.
There’s also a grammatical error in this section (“making sure that I am are through”) which could have resulted in an automatic rejection.]
2. My problem-solving skills. At university, I participated in a paintball league for the [redacted country] Open with a team of five. My team has had no prior competitive experience in paintball, which made this challenging. Nevertheless, as team captain, I was determined to go all the way. Despite the distinct disadvantage, I strategized around my team and used my experience from playing ‘Call of duty’. I placed my fastest teammate as a running decoy and situated my best shooters at prime locations so that we could get a clear shot when the enemy team chased our decoy. By employing creative, strategic techniques, my team came in second and additionally won the medal of ‘underdog of the year’.
[Feedback: This is quite an eccentric answer; nevertheless, for the most part, it is well-structured and argued. The candidate uses the STAR format as a framework for her answer ensuring that her argumentation is clear, cogent and concise.
To improve, the candidate could have been a little clearer with some of their phraseology: ‘I was determined to go all the way’ is a bit confusing, and could have been simplified with a phrase like, ‘I was determined to win’. Furthermore, be careful with spelling and grammar: ‘duty’ in ‘Call of Duty’ needs to be capitalised.
As a final point, be careful with being consistent with which competency you are addressing. Whilst there is overlap between creativity, problem-solving, and strategy, they are not all synonymous. Although you want your writing to be engaging, do not sacrifice the clarity of your argument in favour of synonyms.]
3. My commercial awareness. As the founder and editor of a business law blog ([redacted]), I help other students better understand commercial issues and how they interact with the legal sector. The 2000+ weekly visitors trust me to cogently explain complicated business issues. I intend to use my writing, knowledge synthesis and commercial acumen at Milbank when drafting documents, providing advice and forging relationships with clients.
[Feedback: This answer is a little shorter than the other sections; however, it is full of detail and links back to the question at hand. There is a little extravagant language, such as ‘knowledge synthesis’ but it is clear what is meant and so is not a significant area for concern.
Nevertheless, the candidate has mentioned the wrong firm (‘Milbank’ instead of Bristows). This is quite an egregious error and should be avoided by all applicants. Whilst this application was successful, most firms will automatically reject applicants for making this error because it’s so sloppy - it demonstrates a lack of attention to detail, betrays a generic answer, and calls into question the candidate’s motivation for the firm at hand. Whilst it is fine to reuse elements of other applications, carefully proofread your work to ensure there are no typos and mistaken mentions of other firms.]
4. My ability to translate legal issues and legal jargons into layman’s concepts and terms. As, a trainee solicitor, I would be required to translate legal issues into layman’s terms as clients would most likely be unfamiliar with legal jargon. I give weekly lessons as an extension of my blog regarding M&A theory & process. To do so effectively, I learned how to use more straightforward examples to explain large terminologies such as M&A arbitrage. I have developed and mastered the essential skills of effective communication through these weekly lessons.
[Feedback: This answer demonstrates good use of personal evidence, and clearly lays out why the skill is useful and how the candidate has developed such a skill. However, there are several grammatical errors (such as the comma after ‘As’ in the second sentence, and the mistaken pluralisation of ‘jargon’ in the first sentence). At a minimum, you should use a spelling and grammar checker, but ideally you should print off a hard copy of your application to re-read or ask a friend or relative to proofread for you. We often find that we spot errors in legal documents that we review in hard copy, which we probably would not have noticed if reviewing on screen]
Through my extensive legal work experiences and relevant and transferrable skills that I have built over the course of my university and non-university curriculum, I am in a good position to not only thrive at Bristows but also to value add.
[Feedback: This sentence is a little superfluous and could have been cut without too much detriment to the application. The 41 words may have been better spent fleshing out some of the candidates previous answers; however, if you do have some words to spare, a concluding sentence, similar to this one, is a nice way to end a personal statement.]
Please provide your personal statement in the space below. Please outline why you have chosen to become a commercial solicitor and what relevant skills and experience you possess that you feel make you a suitable candidate. (550 words)
Dear Graduate Recruitment Team,
I want to become a commercial solicitor as I am driven by wanting to understand and help clients to achieve their aims. I found this to be the case as an in-house paralegal at [redacted large UK property landlord], where I managed and advised on all of the contracts that went through the EMI, business technology, finance and operations teams. I was able to be at the centre of transactions, balancing commercial and legal risks for the teams I was overseeing when negotiating contracts. I thoroughly enjoyed being able to utilise my problem-solving skills in analysing and assessing the risk for the business as well as building a daily rapport with the teams. As such, I was nominated for the [redacted] Customer Services Award, which consolidated my interest in advising clients on the legal aspects of transactions and the client facing nature of the work. Furthermore, my time at [redacted small UK law firm] highlighted the critical role commercial law played in one’s business, which drew me to becoming a solicitor further. As a corporate paralegal, I worked with entrepreneurs and small businesses on various corporate matters regarding their ventures, such as drafting asset purchase agreements. I saw how commercial law facilitated and executed the goal and the vision of businesses. Playing such a fundamental role to businesses in this way and exploring this role further at a firm like Bristows would be a fulfilling experience.
Feedback: This part of the application requires you to provide a personal statement with specific points to cover: (1) “why commercial law” and (2) “why you”. You should cover each aspect in equal depth, spending approximately 50% of the word count on each section. The candidate has done so here, spending 236 words on motivations and 296 words on skills. The candidate does well to draw upon personal, legal experiences that demonstrate their genuine interest in the commercial solicitor path. In motivation questions, you must substantiate all your points with specific personal examples and explain how each experience relates back to your reasons for commercial law. Legal experiences demonstrate not only that you are committed to this career path, but also that you grasp what commercial law actually involves.
You should also note how the candidate uses the PEEL structure (point, evidence, explanation, link back to the point) in the second part of their answer. The candidate leads with a concise point, namely that they are interested in the critical role that commercial lawyers play in businesses. Then, the candidate illustrates their point with a specific example of their own legal experience. Then, the candidate explains what they did and how that relates back to their point (ie they assisted businesses and entrepreneurs by drafting legal documents). Finally, the candidate attempts to link their explanations back to their point about commercial law.
To improve, the candidate could have spent more time unpacking their examples. You need to tie all your explanations and examples directly back to the question asked. For example, the candidate explains that they “saw how commercial law facilitated the goals of businesses” and that this would be “fulfilling” but does not explain why they find this interesting. Your answers must go beyond asserting that something is attractive or fulfilling, instead giving a genuine explanation of why you think that is the case.
Furthermore, the candidate could have improved both the first point and the final link back to the question. Firstly, the initial point (namely that they want to be a commercial solicitor to help clients achieve their aims) is not unique to commercial law. Though the candidate later elaborates on their point, we recommend that candidates state a concise, well-tailored point from the beginning. Secondly, the candidate does not link their explanations for point 1 back to the question. Instead, the candidate names an achievement (namely that they received a Customer Services Award) without explaining how that award consolidated their interest in commercial law. We recommend that you read through every sentence carefully, making sure that each one meaningfully contributes to your answer to the question.
One of the qualities that a commercial lawyer would possess is the ability work well as a team. Teamwork is essential as you are required to not only work within your team but also across practice areas and jurisdictions. I believe I am well suited as a candidate because I understand the importance of teamwork, having worked as a group on numerous occasions as a part of the choir, orchestra and string ensemble for seven years. At [redacted university], I was part of the Live Music Society, where I was selected to be a part of show called Rhapsody in a six-part harmony number. After weekly rehearsals for two months, we successfully performed to a sold-out 450 seat [redacted] Theatre. Through music, I have learnt the importance of commitment, open communication in providing honest feedback and teamwork in producing an excellent performance for the audience to enjoy.
Feedback: The candidate structures their argument reasonably well overall. They lead by explaining a competency that commercial solicitors need, before providing a specific and detailed example which highlights how they have demonstrated this competency. You should note how the candidate uses specific numbers, timeframes and other details which make their example highly specific. We know what the show involved, how many rehearsals took place and exactly how many people saw the candidate’s final performance. You should always quantify your examples as far as possible. This will make your examples more convincing and your overall argument more impactful. You also should not underestimate musical, sporting or other extra-curricular/hobby-related achievements. Candidates often neglect these. They can demonstrate that you are a well-rounded person with valuable transferable skills.
That said, this answer needs to tailor its central point back to a career as a commercial solicitor. The candidate needs to drill down on why teamwork is important for commercial solicitors specifically. While the candidate is correct that commercial solicitors work across jurisdictions and practice areas, the same can be said for many areas of law. As such, the candidate would need to demonstrate a higher-level awareness of what commercial law involves and how they could bring value as such. Furthermore, the candidate needs to elaborate further on the “teamwork” element of their experience. While the candidate asserts that they have “learnt the importance” of teamwork, it is never explained how the candidate worked with other musicians nor how this contributed to the successful performance. You must always explain every example in full and tie it closely back in with your point.
There’s also a grammatical error in the first sentence - “ability work well as a team” should be “ability to work well in a team”. You cannot afford to make such mistakes in competitive training contract applications. Indeed, some firms will automatically reject you for such typos/mistakes. You must carefully proofread each sentence to make sure your spelling, punctuation and grammar is perfect.
I am also adaptable and open minded, which I believe is important if you are dealing with a range of situations with a diverse cohort of colleagues and clients. Having lived in Seoul, Doha and now England, interned in Geneva, and studied in China, I believe I have been exposed to different people and cultures. This was especially useful when working at [redacted law firm], where as a contracts paralegal, I have had to regularly liaise with the Hong Kong, Singapore, UAE and Australia offices to draft and execute contracts for international consultants and clients. I have enjoyed regularly collaborating with the Asia Pacific, UAE and Australia offices, in which I was able to learn the cultural and commercial nuances between different jurisdictions and work effectively as a team between different time zones. This enabled me to prepare contracts worth up to approximately £3 million in a week.
Feedback: Firstly, this answer uses good personal evidence. Not only does the candidate specify which countries they have lived and worked in, but they have also quantified their achievements as a contract paralegal well. We know exactly which global offices they collaborated with and the £3,000,000 value they generated for the firm as a result. This is the level of detail you should go into. You must substantiate all your points with high-quality examples throughout. As such, you can easily increase the value of your examples by providing specific details and numbers wherever possible. Secondly, the candidate lays out the skill they developed and how they found it useful in working with the firm’s global offices.
That said, there is a small grammatical slip-up: “open minded” should be “open-minded”. This is a minor error and likely to escape notice, but it’s better to get it right in the first place.
Thank you for considering my application.
Yours faithfully,
Feedback: You don’t need this final section as you aren’t writing a cover letter. The candidate could have safely cut this out if they were pressed for space. That said, these concluding paragraphs are concise and the candidate uses the correct pleasantries - “yours faithfully” since the addressee isn’t named.
Please explain why you have decided to pursue a career in law?
My interest in law was initially sparked when I took Canadian and International law modules in secondary school. Through these modules, I discovered that I was attracted to the role of a solicitor as someone who develops an expertise in their client, anticipates factors that could potentially affect them and addresses them accordingly in order to help the client attain a competitive edge. My experiences at [UK national / multi-site law firm] and [overseas law firm], a technology law firm in Toronto, Canada, pushed me to develop a particular interest in commercial law.
Feedback: The candidate expresses their interest in law in a clear and easy-to-follow manner. For emphasis, they could have mirrored the wording of the question, e.g., “I decided to pursue a career in law after taking Canadian and International Law modules in secondary school”, though this is a relatively minor point. The candidate justifies their interest in law with a personal insight, namely their experience of undertaking two law modules at school. In doing so, they lend credibility to their answer and allow the recruiter a glimpse into their backstory. To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have revealed what prompted them to explore their interest in law beyond their time at school.
On a slightly different note, the last sentence belongs to the following paragraph because it addresses a wholly novel point, namely the candidate’s particular interest in commercial law. Nonetheless, the candidate does well to express their particular interest in commercial law even though they were not prompted to do so by the question because it is the area of law in which Browne Jacobson specialises.
Working in the Banking and Restructuring team at [UK national / multi-site law firm], I was tasked with analysing and reviewing company search reports. In particular, I enjoyed cross-referencing and identifying key issues on behalf of the client before they proceeded with a deal completion with another company. I found the process of resolving challenging issues exciting and I enjoyed playing a part in helping clients towards a constructive direction.
Subsequently, as a legal writer and researcher at [overseas law firm], I learned that I enjoy working in a field that is responsive to the needs of the market. My role predominantly involved drafting scripts regarding legal issues and topics for a legal podcast presented by both partners of the firm. This met the high demand from solicitors and the public for knowledge on topical legal issues. Meeting the demand for a service is a natural characteristic of the legal market, and coupled with these experiences, piqued my interest in pursuing a career specifically in commercial law.
Feedback: The candidate justifies their particular interest in commercial law with two personal insights related to their previous work experience in the field. In doing so, they indicate the fact that their commitment to pursuing a career in the field is not superficial. To achieve a similar effect without having had previous work experience in the field, we recommend discussing any relevant books you have read, any relevant events you have attended and/or any relevant programs in which you have participated; your focus should be on persuading the recruiter that you have carefully considered the prospect of pursuing a career in commercial law after undertaking a reasonable amount of research into it and expending a reasonable amount of effort to explore it.
The candidate does well to describe the kinds of tasks that they undertook as part of their work experience in the field because it lends credibility to their answer and allows the recruiter to put their answer into perspective at the same time. They also do well to explain the aspects they most enjoyed as part of their work experience in the field because it increases the likelihood of their answer standing out as genuine. To make their answer more persuasive, the candidate could have explained how they identified and resolved “challenging issues” as part of their work experience at a UK national / multi-site firm. Equally, they could have also explained why identifying and resolving such issues is an essential aspect of a commercial solicitor’s role. To further improve their answer, the candidate could have also avoided ambiguous language. For instance, they could have omitted the phrase “a field that is responsive to the needs of the market” because it is so broad that it could be used to describe any number of fields. Instead, they could have referenced the particularities of the marriage between law and commerce.
Why do you want to be a solicitor and which areas of law interest you? (200 words)
The two-year Pathways to Law scheme at [university] first encouraged me to pursue a career in law. Through various workshops and networking events, I developed a greater understanding of the law and the different areas within it. I was most drawn in by the broad spectrum of legal work that is undertaken for private clients such as tax, family disputes and property management. The opportunity to build long-term relationships with these individuals by understanding their needs and tailoring my advice to this feedback would be highly rewarding.
Through my work experience, I have seen and taken on board the skills required to be a successful solicitor, including communication and negotiation abilities. At [Premier League] Football Club I attended a partnership meeting to go over the terms of an agreement and it was engaging to hear the different viewpoints of the parties, particularly on intellectual property in sport aspects. As a sporty person, I am also intrigued by sports law and the rapid developments occurring with the progression of technology. It encourages interesting discussions for both participants and fans in respect of regulations, brands and data usage.
[Feedback: This answer is effective because it allows the reader a glimpse into the candidate’s journey into law. Despite the tight word limit, the candidate manages to paint a reasonably clear picture of the activities which prompted their interest in law. It is generally good practice to tie your interest in becoming a solicitor to relevant work experience you have undertaken in the past or are currently undertaking – as the candidate does in this case. They also reference the skillset they derived from said experience, which lends further credibility to their answer.
Although the question does not concern the firm per se, it presents an opportunity for candidates to align themselves with the firm right from the get-go. The candidate takes the cue and expresses their interest in areas of law that Charles Russell Speechlys is known for, i.e., private client work and sports law. At the same time, they link their interest in said areas to personal insights, including their previous work experience at a Premier League football club. We recommend sharing such insights where possible because they render your answers more genuine and, hence, more persuasive.
To take this answer to the next level, the candidate would have elaborated on their point regarding “intellectual property in sport aspects” before moving straight into the theme of sport and technology. We do, however, recognise that the tight word limit would not have permitted detailed discussions of both points. In such a case, we would recommend pursuing one point of analysis in more detail rather than pursuing two or more superficially because the depth of analysis is often more appreciated (and more impressive) than the breadth thereof.
Why do you want to be a solicitor?
• What first prompted your interest in the profession?
• How have you researched the profession?
• Are there particular areas of law that interest you?
My initial interest in law evolved from a broader interest in commercial activity. During a work experience placement at [redacted UK bank]’s Legal Department, I attended training sessions on product development, and I gained an insight into the intricate cross-over between black-letter law and the commercial reality of running a business. By participating in a variety of firm-led masterclasses and open days, I considered how companies anticipate risks and opportunities to maintain their competitive advantage. This consolidated my interest in business development, particularly with regards to contingency planning and risk forecasting. This was something I particularly enjoying exploring in my [redacted non-law] undergraduate degree. The prospect of utilising this interest as a commercial lawyer to cultivate a deep understanding of a client’s industry is very appealing.
Feedback: This paragraph is effective because it offers the reader insight into specific experiences that geared the candidate towards commercial law. The candidate uses the PEEL/AL structure particularly well (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link):
The candidate concisely states their point, namely that their interest grew out of a wider fascination with commercial activity. This makes the candidate’s writing punchy and impactful straight away.
Secondly, the candidate offers two specific personal examples which prompted the candidate towards a career in law. You should note that legal experience is immensely valuable in answering motivational questions like this. The candidate’s work at a UK bank’s legal department demonstrates a clear commitment to law, as well as a good understanding of what commercial law entails. This is particularly helpful given that the candidate did not study Law at undergraduate level.
The candidate’s explanations in the first half of the paragraph are quite well-tailored to commercial law. The candidate identifies a unique feature of commercial law (namely that commercial lawyers combine black-letter legal expertise with commercial/business awareness) and explains how their own experience ties in with this feature.
The candidate concludes their paragraph by attempting to link their experiences back to commercial law.
Nevertheless, the candidate’s reasoning in the second half needed to be more closely linked back to commercial law. Though the candidate identifies “business development” and “contingency planning/risk forecasting” as points of interest, these features are not unique to commercial law. Many business professionals will be involved in this, from consultants and insurers to accountants. As such, the candidate needed to have drilled down on the risk mitigation elements of commercial law and explained why these appeal to the candidate. As a rule, your reasoning is not specific enough to commercial law if you can take out “commercial law” from your writing and replace it with another profession.
For example:
● “The prospect of utilising this interest as a commercial lawyer to cultivate a deep understanding of a client’s industry is very appealing.”
This could easily be replaced with:
● “The prospect of utilising this interest as a consultant to cultivate a deep understanding of a client’s industry is very appealing.”
As such, the reason isn’t specific enough. You do not want recruiters to question why you have chosen a career path in law as opposed to a career in, say, business development.
The candidate also makes a small grammatical mistake by saying “I particularly enjoying exploring during my undergraduate degree” instead of “enjoyed”. Though this might seem minor, some firms will automatically reject you for mistakes like this because it calls into question your overall writing abilities. As such, you should run your work through a spelling/grammar checker as a minimum before ideally reading your answers out loud and in hard copy.
During my time as a Legal Advisor at the [redacted automotive services company], I learnt that I really enjoy finding solutions for clients, assisting them with their legal objectives and working in an advisory role. I was required to quickly diagnose legal problems and provide advice. For example, one client worked as a freelance seamstress, undertaking ad hoc work with a wedding dress company. The client had not been paid on-time and the nature of the work meant the contractual obligations were vague. Having extracted the salient information, I advised the client on her legal options and the best way to obtain payment for her work. I enjoy problem-solving and thinking critically about complex issues.
Feedback: The candidate does well by offering a specific personal example and explaining it in detail. This example shares the same strength as the previous paragraph, namely that it is a legal example demonstrating the candidate’s commitment to a career in law.
However, this paragraph is weaker than the previous. This is because the candidate’s central point is circular. The candidate is effectively saying that they want to be a lawyer because they like helping candidates with legal problems. This is unconvincing because the candidate never drills down on what they found interesting about problem-solving in a legal context. As such, the candidate’s final linking sentence comes across as somewhat generic and untailored to commercial law. The candidate clearly is interested in problem-solving, but this is not a unique feature of law as a whole (let alone commercial law). The candidate also does not offer any insight into what they liked about solving this particular client’s problem.
The candidate also slips up by saying “on-time” when this should have been “on time”. For avoidance of doubt, you should have a second person read over your application to iron out any typos or grammatical issues. The candidate should also have been careful to avoid informal language such as “really”. Though it might seem like a minor point, informal language can lead cynical recruiters to question whether you have the appropriate professionalism and writing skills to succeed in law.
Finally, I want to be a commercial lawyer because I would enjoy the high levels of responsibility whilst working in a pressurised environment. As a Legal Advisor, I advised clients on matters that were of great individual importance. A people-facing role appeals to me because I find building relationships with clients very rewarding, and I know I would enjoy being entrusted with this personal responsibility.
I am interested in a broad range of different practice areas, however since spending a week at a firm specialising in litigious work, I believe I would enjoy the highly varied nature of commercial litigation and the satisfaction of completing a case within dispute resolution.
Feedback: These final two paragraphs are weaker than the previous. Starting with the first paragraph, the candidate’s point is not well-tailored to commercial law. Nearly every career path will offer “high levels of responsibility” and “pressurised environments”. As such, the candidate should have offered a concrete example of a time they experienced high pressure in a commercial law environment before explaining what specifically appealed to them about it. The same applies to the candidate’s points about client relationships and people-facing roles. This applies to every area of law. As such, the recruiter would not have been convinced by the candidate’s reasoning for commercial law here.
Moving onto the second paragraph, the candidate leaves much to be desired. They simply assert that they are interested in dispute resolution because they spent a week at a firm that so happens to specialise in litigious work. We are given no insight into what litigious work the candidate did, what they liked about it and how that interest ties into their motivations for becoming a solicitor. This candidate would have needed to offer specific details of their experience and analysed the appealing features of it.
Given the tight word counts, the candidate probably did not have space to discuss each point in detail. In such a case, we recommend that candidates pursue one point of analysis in detail rather than pursuing two or more superficially because recruiters are often more impressed by the depth of analysis than the breadth thereof. Given that the candidate has not yet addressed their practice area interests in depth, they should have focused on this instead.
The candidate could have improved the overall answer by splitting the answer into three sections of equal depth/proportion. These sections would address each element of the question in full. Had the candidate done this, their answer would have been much more well-structured and convincing overall.
Please explain why you have decided to pursue a career as a solicitor and what has attracted you to Debevoise?
Feedback: We would recommend splitting your answer into two paragraphs of (roughly) equal length, with one paragraph explaining your motivation for pursuing a career as a solicitor and the other paragraph explaining your motivation for applying to the firm. In this case, the candidate has taken a different approach, which involves focusing on one part of the prompt at the expense of the other. Notwithstanding the fact that their application was ultimately successful, we would not recommend following their approach if you want to hedge your bets.
Personally, I have found that to understand the inner workings of law on a global cross-jurisdictional scale is to effectively understand the functioning of the global markets across all industries. This variety of intellectually challenging work makes law extremely riveting in a way that few other domains can offer. It is for this reason that I was initially pushed to become a solicitor.
Feedback: The candidate addresses the first part of the prompt by sharing their motivation for pursuing a career as a commercial solicitor. Although the prompt refers to “a career as a solicitor” rather than “a career as a commercial solicitor”, Debevoise & Plimpton specialises in commercial law, such that the candidate is not necessarily mistaken in focusing on it. However, the candidate does not express their motivation for pursuing such a career in the most persuasive manner. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have started the paragraph by closely mirroring the wording of the prompt; this would have allowed the reader to anticipate and follow their train of thought more easily. At the same time, the candidate could have dedicated more of the word count to explaining their choice of career, which would have enabled them to use more specific language and make their answer appear more genuine.
Debevoise’s small teams and emphasis on on-the-job learning immediately makes it stand out as somewhere that I would receive the highest standard of exposure, but also somewhere that would allow for higher levels of autonomy and responsibility at an earlier level. I believe my entrepreneurial and pragmatic approach would allow me to hit the ground running at Debevoise & Plimpton.
Feedback: The candidate addresses the second part of the prompt by sharing their motivation for applying to Debevoise & Plimpton. They correctly identify the perks of training at a US-heritage commercial law firm with a small trainee intake. To tailor this answer to Debevoise & Plimpton, the candidate could have discussed the firm’s Associate Mentor Programme, as well as the firm’s emphasis on continuing professional development (CPE) and continuing legal education (CLE). Nonetheless, the candidate does well to draw a link between the training offered by the firm and their own qualities. To make this answer more persuasive, the candidate could have invoked a personal example or anecdote that illustrates their “entrepreneurial and pragmatic approach”. Such examples or anecdotes are paramount because they lend credibility to your claims and make your answers stand out as authentic; as a rule of thumb, they should come from your extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility or work experiences.
Having the opportunity to study both civil and common law systems has propelled my desire to train in a firm with a strong global outlook, where I can utilise & expand my knowledge of international affairs in dealing with cross-jurisdictional matters. I aspire to train in a firm where I could utilise my competencies in Chinese business, language and culture. Debevoise's strength and presence in the Asian market is very exciting and I know this would lead to very interesting complex work.
Feedback: The candidate correctly implies that Debevoise & Plimpton presents a “strong global outlook”. To make this answer more persuasive, the candidate could have explicitly stated the foregoing and justified their claim with the fact the firm is frequently engaged to undertake cross-border matters and/ or with the fact that the firm has ten overseas offices working within integrated global practices. Nonetheless, the candidate does well to tie their motivation for training at such a globally oriented firm with their experience of engaging with multiple legal systems as part of their academic studies; this lends credibility to their claims and increases the authenticity of their overall answer.
Moreover, the candidate correctly points out that Debevoise & Plimpton possesses market-leading expertise throughout Asia. Echoing the previous comment, the candidate could have presented facts, statistics, accolades or examples in support of their claim, all of which are available on the firm’s website; not only would this have made their answer more persuasive, but it would have also been a clever way to showcase their research into the firm. Once again, the candidate does well to draw a link between their interest in Debevoise & Plimpton’s “strength and presence” throughout Asia and their own knowledge of “Chinese business, language and culture”.
The possibility to train in a firm with such a focus on business development, combined with unparalleled transatlantic private equity expertise, makes Debevoise & Plimpton somewhere that I believe I could develop best as a solicitor, both within a team and in an autonomous capacity.
Feedback: The candidate correctly points out that Debevoise & Plimpton is known for its unrivalled expertise in transatlantic private equity matters. To make their answer stand out, the candidate could have succinctly explained why such matters are particularly appealing to them and could have omitted the blanket statement that the firm is “somewhere that [they] believe [they] could develop best as a solicitor, both within a team and in an autonomous capacity”. Although such a statement sounds nice, it adds little to no value to the overall answer because it is inherently vague.
Please explain why you want to pursue a career as a commercial solicitor and why you would like to practice at Dechert. (300 words)
I am impressed with Dechert’s strong commitment to diversity to the legal profession. As a member of both Rare and Aspiring Solicitors, this is important to me. The firm has been awarded with a Commendation for Diversity Award (LawCareers.Net Awards 2019) and the firm’s internal Inclusion & Diversity Committee demonstrates Dechert’s open and inclusive culture, which I believe I am able to thrive in.
[Feedback: This question is a challenging one to respond to given the word limit and the demand of answering ‘why commercial law?’ and ‘why Dechert?’. As the candidate has done, we would suggest that you split the answer into three 100-word paragraphs, or two 150-word paragraphs.
Furthermore, make sure to employ a clear PEE/AL structure: ‘point’, ‘evidence’, ‘explanation/analysis’, ‘link’. The candidate’s response has employed this structure: they have led with a clear point, and backed it up with some evidence. The candidate has also, to an extent, explained why this point matters to them. The result of this is that the candidate’s answer is very easy to read. Each sentence naturally flows from the previous one, and the reader does not need to infer anything to have the answer make sense.
To improve, the candidate could have further developed their argument regarding why diversity matters to them (beyond just being a candidate from a diverse background) and provided some more substantial evidence regarding Dechert’s commitment to diversity. Nevertheless, the candidate has demonstrated some effort by undertaking independent research, as evidenced by their citation of the firm’s accolades.
A final point of improvement surrounds the candidate’s claim that they would be ‘able to thrive in’ the firm’s ‘open and inclusive culture’. This claim is could be substantiated further – what is it about such an environment that would allow you to thrive? It would have been helpful if the candidate researched some schemes or programmes that were unique to Dechert or the firm’s trainees and discussed how they would get involved with them should they join the firm.]
Another reason that attracted me to Dechert was the quality of training. Their small intake of 10 trainees would allow me to gain valuable exposure into a wide variety of practice areas, including Litigation and Financial Regulation. Given the small intake, I am excited at the prospect of the higher level of responsibility given to us as trainees whilst working on a diverse range of practice areas. This separates Dechert from other firms, especially those with larger trainee intakes since the level of responsibility and hands-on experience with client work may not be felt as much.
[Feedback: The candidate uses this paragraph to discuss the firm’s training contract, specifically, the size of the firm’s trainee intake. The candidate has made some effort to highlight the difference between Dechert’s training contract and other City law firms’. Additionally, the candidate attempts to explain what a small trainee intake means for them, and why it is important to them.
To improve this answer, the candidate could have elaborated on why increased responsibility and exposure is of interest to them. The candidate does well to highlight a rarer feature of a City law firm, namely, a smaller trainee intake; however, this should be paired with a discussion as to why this would benefit the candidate in particular. You can achieve this in your answers by discussing times when you have dealt with high levels of responsibility, or when you have needed to take the initiative regarding a piece of work.
Whilst the candidate’s answer is an example of a decent foundation, you can build on this in your applications by asking yourself ‘why?’. For example, the candidate writes ‘I am excited at the prospect of the higher level of responsibility given to us as trainees […]’. The candidate should have asked themselves, ‘why?’, and written a sentence summarising that sentiment afterwards. This would ensure a watertight answer with clear logical reasoning that will impress the recruiter and make their job easier.]
Lastly, I wish to practice at Dechert for its strong international presence. With 29 offices operating under one integrated profit pool, the opportunity to work at a firm well hedged in key markets around the world is exciting. Having lived in London, Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, the exposure to new social and business cultures has piqued my interest to work internationally, and deal with clients on both domestic and cross-jurisdictional matters. Furthermore, Dechert’s heavy involvement with GIC as a client stood out to me, given my Singaporean background. This shows the international nature of the firm come to life through its work with clients from all over the world.
[Feedback: The candidate rounds off their answer by discussing Dechert’s international presence, and corporate structure. Once again, the candidate makes a decent attempt at employing the PEE/AL structure, and incorporating specific facts and statistics into their answer. Additionally, the candidate has also tried to make their answer specific to them by citing their personal experiences and background to justify why their point is relevant to them specifically.
The candidate does well to mention specific details, such as Dechert’s integrated profit pool, the firm’s 29 offices, and GIC (as Dechert’s client). These details are what begin to elevate this answer from an average response to an answer that passes the application form stage.
Similar to the previous paragraph, to improve this answer, the candidate could have elaborated on why they are interested in international matters, why Dechert’s integrated profit pool is a pertinent trait, and why working with GIC interests them. Whilst the candidate has given a cursory justification regarding GIC and international work (namely, that they come from an international background), this could be taken further.
You should remember that many candidates will come from international backgrounds; hence, it is not sufficient simply to say that you are interested or well-suited to international work because you are an international candidate. Instead, you should consider the fundamental differences between a domestic matter and an international matter, and why those differences matter to you. An oft-quoted reason is that international work adds a significant layer of complexity to the transaction. However, it is not enough to simply state that – you must consider why that additional complexity appeals to you in particular, and whether you have any evidence to substantiate that attraction.
Similarly, the candidate could have explained why Dechert’s profit-sharing model appeals to them. An easily discernible reason that you may wish to consider is that such a model encourages the offices to work together on matters, rather than working separately (some firms do not adopt such a structure; instead they elect to use a Swiss verein model which results in each office keeping their profits separate). Once again, when you write your answers, you should be questioning your claims by asking yourself ‘why?’. To write a successful application, you must use a clear structure, employ facts, statistics and personal examples, and provide an analysis that goes beyond a “headline” claim.]
Please explain why you have decided to pursue a career in commercial law.
I am drawn to commercial law due to a commercial solicitor’s multifaceted role when advancing clients’ business objectives. In the European Corporate Finance Law Excellence Programme, I was tasked with solving case studies focused on corporate finance transactions. For instance, I advised an investment fund on the takeover of a technology start-up. I conducted legal due diligence, wrote a legal advice note on the funds acquisition financing options and subsequently negotiated, and drafted, a share purchase agreement. I enjoyed constructing arguments and proactively combining my legal knowledge with my understanding of the technology industry. Providing tailored legal advice that contributes to the client’s strategy, allowing them to mitigate their risks and satisfy their financial objectives, is something that I find mentally stimulating and extremely rewarding.
Subsequently, I secured a position as a corporate paralegal at the [city in western Europe] Institute of Corporate Law. Here, I utilised my legal knowledge by analysing issues concerning corporate governance and corporate social responsibility. When writing a report on short-term decision-making by businesses, and the financial impact for stakeholders thereof, I conducted legal research to identify shortcomings in regulation and analysed the impact of different ownership structures on a business long-term profitability. The opportunity to use my strategic and critical thinking skills to reach sound conclusions, and persuasive writing to present findings convincingly, paralegal, where I find investigating fact patterns and identifying key documents to assist my client exciting.
Feedback: The candidate accurately describes a commercial solicitor’s role as “multifaceted” and cleverly uses their participation in a relevant extra-curricular activity to explain their choice of descriptor. This suggests that they possess a reasonable understanding of the career and that they have a genuine interest in pursuing it. The candidate also does well to draw on personal insights in order to explain why certain “facets” of a commercial solicitor’s role appeal to them (e.g., “Providing tailored legal advice that contributes to the client’s strategy”, “The opportunity to use my strategic and critical thinking skills”, etc). Their their previous work experience as a corporate paralegal further bolsters the credibility and authenticity of their overall answer.
Please write about yourself in the space provided below. You may wish to mention any positions of responsibility held at school or subsequently, any regular employment or other work experience and any achievements, interests and personal qualities which are relevant.
Please also state briefly why you are making this application. (850 words)
I chose to study law with business due to my interest in the complex relationship between the disciplines. Without a strong grasp of the legal framework regulating a market, many companies have crumbled. Facebook's Libra is the perfect example of a brilliant idea struggling due to legal shortcomings. To succeed as a corporate solicitor, I must not only be a legal aid, but also a business advisor and confidant to my clients. While partaking in first-year schemes at Linklaters, HSF, and Simmons & Simmons, I was excited to gain exposure to commercial matters, such as a securities swap and a hedge fund set-up. I enjoyed completing the assigned tasks as I was able to get first-hand experience of how lawyers tailor legal advice to clients businesses and sectors. I also recently attended the Vacation Scheme Insight Workshop at Freshfields. From networking with solicitors at the firm, I recognised that commercial law is not a stagnant field and, since firms like Freshfields regularly work on precedent-setting deals, there is always more to learn. The diverse roles encountered as a solicitor and the intellectually stimulating nature of this profession attracted me to commercial law.
[Feedback: There are many ways to approach the prompt for this application. The firm does give an indication of the kind of topics it wants you to discuss in your answer; however, the structure and overall approach are up to you. We recommend having your answer consist of four to five paragraphs, each with a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure. This will allow you to respond to each of the elements of the prompt and provide sufficient depth in your answer.
In this first paragraph, the candidate focuses on their motivation for pursuing a commercial in commercial law. The candidate leads by citing their degree: law and business. This immediately gives them an opportunity to segue into the discussion of the interplay between law and business, namely, commercial law. The candidate then bolsters their answer by citing their previous schemes and experiences at other commercial law firms. Finally, the section includes a reference to Freshfields itself and a link back to the candidate’s overall argument.
Broadly speaking, the answer is quite strong. The candidate leads their answer with a response to the classic ‘why law?’ question. This is a good approach as it serves to contextualise the rest of the candidate’s answer and demonstrates to the recruiter, from the start, that the candidate is serious about pursuing this career.
Furthermore, the candidate writes clearly and concisely. You should notice how the candidate uses relatively short sentences that nicely connect to and flow from one another. This makes the answer easy to read and the candidate’s argument easy to follow. The candidate also includes a well-structured argument. You should observe how the candidate substantiates their claims with evidence and an explanation of that evidence. This means that the argument is convincing and easily comprehensible. You should remember that the recruiter does not want to have to read your answer twice. They have hundreds if not thousands of applications to get through. Hence, the easier your answer is to comprehend, the more the recruiter will enjoy reading (and accepting) your application.
Additionally, the candidate employs a good level of detail in their answer. Whilst many candidates will employ evidence and explanations, the very best candidates will do so whilst including lots of specific detail. For example, the candidate does not merely describe that they ‘gain[ed] exposure to commercial matters’, they immediately give specifics: ‘such as a securities swap and a hedge fund set-up’.
Many candidates omit these kinds of specific examples and details. However, this information is crucial for your answer’s chance of success. Specific detail makes your answer more engaging and persuasive and lends it credence. You must remember that the recruiter does not know you personally and will be learning about you and your experiences for the first time. Therefore, if you do not include specific details (such as facts, statistics, names, times, and so on), the recruiter will be unable to judge whether what you are saying is noteworthy.
Finally, the candidate does especially well in including a link back to their overall argument at the end of the paragraph. The entire paragraph has been about the candidate’s motivations for a career in commercial law. The candidate has given lots of evidence and explanation for that motivation, but it is in the link section that the candidate explicitly and forcefully connects their argument to this explanation and evidence. This is excellent as it acts as a one-sentence summary and expressly communicates to the recruiter that this topic has been discussed and appropriately concluded. You should not forget this ‘link’ section when you write your answers. Many candidates believe that this section is optional. However, it is essential. Without it, you risk your answer falling flat at its end.
Everything that you discuss in your answer is with the aim of furthering a particular argument or claim; hence, at the end of your answer, you must demonstrate how what you have discussed substantiates your ‘point’, namely, your primary claim. Failure to do so may mean the recruiter may be confused as to what the point of your whole discussion was.
One area of improvement for this answer concerns the candidate’s spelling and grammar. Unfortunately, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing, ‘tailor legal advice to clients businesses’. Whilst typographical errors do not necessitate the rejection of an application, recruiters are becoming harsher when it comes to reviewing applications. Each typographical mistake that you make drastically increases the chance of your application getting rejected. You should remember that the recruiter is assessing your application as a whole. Therefore, they want to see evidence of attention to detail and clear written communication (skills that lawyers need to have).
To avoid making these errors, you must proofread your answers before submission. Furthermore, you could use a speller checker (either as part of Microsoft Word or Grammarly). Finally, you may also give your application to a family member or trusted friend to proofread for typographical errors.]
Freshfields’ eight-seat training contract is a strong appeal for me as the flexible structure enables one to find their niche and make well-informed career choices. Moreover, Freshfields consistently undertakes high-quality work across contentious and transactional departments, evidenced by its band 1 status in the Chambers Rankings for both Corporate M&A and Dispute Resolution. As a trainee, I would feel confident that I am gaining the best learning and development opportunities regardless of my seat. I am especially drawn to Freshfields because of the calibre of its international work. I chose to study law in London to have a global education, broaden my horizons and gain access to law firms that work with prominent companies around the world. I am particularly interested in Freshfields' approach to Africa. The benefits of the StrongerTogether network are evident in the fact that Freshfields has advised on matters in all 54 African countries. As a proud Nigerian, I look forward to working on transactions that positively impact the African economy.
[Feedback: This section focuses on the candidate’s motivations concerning joining Freshfields (namely, answering a classic ‘why [this firm]?’ style question). The candidate begins by addressing a unique aspect of the firm’s training contract: its eight-seat structure. The candidate then goes on to discuss the firm’s specialisms and high practice area rankings. Finally, the candidate homes in on Freshfields’ international work, particularly its work in Africa.
Overall, this has the makings of a very strong answer. The candidate should be commended for touching on all of the right points for discussion. When justifying your motivation concerning a particular firm, you should focus on at least two areas: the firm’s work and the firm’s training. Optionally, you can discuss a third area: the firm’s culture. The candidate, therefore, highlights a unique aspect of the firm’s training contract, namely, its structure. You should note that many candidates will bring this up in their answers. Therefore, you should be prepared to go into an in-depth discussion of this feature, justifying why it appeals to you and why you are suited for it.
The candidate also discusses the firm’s work. Crucially, the candidate provides some evidence for their comments about the firm’s specialisms and standard of work. As previously mentioned, you must provide evidence to substantiate any and all claims that you make. Whilst the recruiter may be aware that the firm has certain traits, they want to know how you came to know about them, what research you did on the firm, and, ultimately, why you care about those traits. Therefore, be prepared to justify how you came to learn about certain features of the firm by providing specific evidence in your answer.
The candidate also provides a brief justification for their desire to have international work. Notably, the candidate uses their personal background to evidence their desire to broaden their horizons and work with companies with a global presence. You should remember that these law firms are international entities with international clients. Hence, the work will be dynamic and complex. You must not only demonstrate to the recruiter that you are capable of handling such work but also that you actively want to take on that work.
Finally, the candidate discusses the firm’s presence in Africa. They justify their attraction to this feature of Freshfields by citing their personal background and referencing the ‘StrongerTogether’ network. This is excellent. The candidate justifies the claim about the firm’s work in Africa by citing specific information and demonstrating that they have properly researched the firm. Additionally, the candidate personalises their answer by linking their argument to their own background. This makes the answer very persuasive. You should remember that law firms are looking to hire individuals from a wide range of backgrounds. International students should be especially alive to this fact. If you have experience in or knowledge of a range of languages or cultures, these are excellent things to mention and use in your applications.
To improve this answer, the candidate could have focused on one or two points rather than several and gone into more depth. Whilst the candidate has highlighted several relevant areas of discussion, their answer lacks sufficient depth when it comes to its argument. The paragraph as a whole is aimed at answering ‘why do you want to be a trainee and work at Freshfields?’. To properly answer this question, the candidate needed to have selected one or two points and fully fleshed out a response. As the candidate did not do this, the answer feels slightly superficial in some areas.
For example, at the beginning of the paragraph, the candidate writes that ‘Freshfields’ eight-seat training contract is a strong appeal for me as the flexible structure enables one to find their niche and make well-informed career choices’. This is a valid claim. However, it is not justified or evidenced in the rest of the candidate’s paragraph. The recruiter is likely to read this and remark that whilst this is an advantage of the eight-seat structure, what evidence is there that the candidate would thrive in this structure? How does the candidate know it will help them find their ‘niche and make well-informed career choices’? And why does that even matter to them? These might seem like redundant questions with obvious answers; however, you must remember that the recruiter will not infer your argument for you. They can only go off what you write, so you must write explicitly.
Similarly, the candidate writes that ‘[a]s a trainee, I would feel confident that I am gaining the best learning and development opportunities regardless of my seat’. However, they provide no direct evidence for this. The candidate previously cites the top rankings for the firm in Corporate and Dispute Resolution; however, this does not prove that there will be good learning and development opportunities at the firm. The rankings simply mean that the department produces the best work and that the candidate (as a trainee at Freshfields) would have a chance to be a part of this. You must be careful and ensure that your evidence directly corresponds to the point it is meant to prove. You should take your time and craft your responses properly. If you rush your work or try to take shortcuts, you risk the recruiter noticing and rejecting your application. It is better to take a few more hours to write a successful answer than to submit an unsuccessful one hastily.]
I possess various qualities that would make me an asset to Freshfields, such as my strong work ethic and passion. Throughout my time in secondary school, I was appointed to multiple positions of responsibility. For example, I began playing lacrosse in my first year of high school. I trained diligently by practising for at least an hour each day and sought external opportunities to improve, such as playing competitively in a summer league outside of school. In my final year, I was named captain of my varsity team and led them through an undefeated season, which culminated in a gold medal win at the regional championships. Another initiative I took on in high school was to create a Diversity Council with the aim of promoting an inclusive and open environment. As president, I held weekly meetings where I planned our events and delegated responsibilities to my ten committee members. My agenda included making a message board about the epidemic of missing and murdered Indigenous women in Canada, organising a film screening on racial intolerance, and bringing in a public speaker for a school-wide Black History Month assembly. Though I faced challenges from a few students who did not understand the significance of these topics, I was ultimately able to increase awareness of racial issues and encourage discourse amongst students and staff. My efforts were recognised at my graduation ceremony by my principal, who described me as a great leader, a community builder, and a powerful change agent.
[Feedback: This section’s argument concerns the candidate’s suitability for being a trainee solicitor at Freshfields. The candidate approaches this section by discussing their positions of responsibility whilst at high school and the competencies that such positions evidence. Specifically, the candidate homes in on two activities: playing lacrosse and being the president of the Diversity Council. In effect, this paragraph (in conjunction with the one below) serves as an answer to a ‘why you?’ style question.
This answer is especially good for its structure and use of detail. You should note how the candidate leads the reader through their argument step-by-step. The candidate leads with a clear point before going into a personal example and accompanying explanation. This results in the reader being able to keep track of what the candidate is talking about and fully appreciate what they achieved.
Furthermore, the candidate’s use of detail is excellent. You should observe how the candidate punctuates their answer with supporting facts and statistics. For example, the candidate specifies when they started playing lacrosse, how long they practiced and what they ultimately achieved as captain. Their use of specific times and facts helps to create an engaging and persuasive answer. Similarly, the candidate goes into a good amount of detail regarding what they did as president of the Diversity Council. You should note that the candidate does not simply write that they were the president – they give examples of and explain what they did as part of the role. For example, the candidate specifies what their message board was about and how many members they delegated tasks to. These might seem like minor details, but cumulatively they build up a vivid and impressive picture.
You should remember that recruiters read hundreds if not thousands of applications. If your answer is not engaging or lacks credence, you risk it being rejected. The standard demanded of candidates now is higher than ever due to the sheer volume of applicants. Therefore, not only does your content need to be good, but the way in which you write must also be up to standard.
Nevertheless, this answer does have some areas in which the candidate could have improved. Crucially, the candidate should have provided a link section at the end of their paragraph. Whilst it is all well and good to discuss these kinds of examples, the candidate fails to state explicitly what their examples and accompanying explanations are in aid of. The candidate makes a point at the beginning of their paragraph concerning their suitability for Freshfields. However, this point is never returned to in the rest of the answer. This is problematic as the recruiter may be wondering how exactly the answer is relevant to the candidate being a good fit for the firm or the role of a trainee solicitor. In essence, the recruiter may ask themselves, ‘…so what?’.
A link section would return the answer to the candidate’s overall point and argument and connect their examples and explanations to the section’s broader argument. To begin a link section, the candidate could have simply added a sentence at the end of their answer beginning, for example, ‘Therefore, I believe I possess the necessary skills to succeed as a Freshfields trainee, as evidenced by [insert skills/discussed examples here].’. Without this element, the answer feels incomplete and loses some of its strength. You should stick to a clear PEEL structure to avoid this mistake in your answers.
Finally, a small point of improvement concerns the answer’s level of detail. Whilst the candidate, for the most part, uses facts and statistics to substantiate their response, they could have included some more. For example, the candidate writes that they organised a film screening. To improve their answer, they could have given the name of the film(s) they chose to show. Similarly, they wrote that they brought in a public speaker – they could have mentioned their name. These kinds of details would help to lend credence to the candidate’s answer. Once again, on their own, they may not do much, but together, the recruiter will feel like they have a better picture of the candidate and find their achievements more relatable and impressive.]
Since starting university, I have fostered my interest in business by partaking in the Reed Smith Business Skills Masterclasses. I also collaborated with two teammates to compete in the Queen Mary Commercial Negotiations Competition. By combining my soft skills, such as communication and empathy, with my business acumen, I persuaded the opposing side to make concessions and was able to obtain a favourable deal for my client. As I commenced my second year, I partnered with eight friends to form the Queen Mary Law and Business Society. I have helped to organise three events as part of a City Series that explores the intersection between legal and commercial fields. The society has brought associates and partners from Linklaters, Willkie Farr & Gallagher, and Hogan Lovells to discuss their practice areas and explain the responsibilities of a solicitor within commercial deals. By employing my professional connections, I was able to kick off the series with a senior associate from Linklaters who provided us with an overview of capital markets. The City Series has been widely popular with an average attendance of fifty students, even attracting participants from other universities. Along with my extracurricular involvement, I have also excelled academically. My faculty awarded me with the Dechert Prize for the Best First Year Student and the Annual Fund Scholarship. As an ambitious student capable of producing high-quality work in a demanding environment, I believe I have the potential to succeed at Freshfields.
[Feedback: This section essentially continues on from the previous paragraph. In this paragraph, the candidate continues to advocate why they would make for a good trainee solicitor. This argument is forwarded by the candidate discussing their endeavours at university and their positions of responsibility and achievements therein. Specifically, the candidate focuses on their commercial awareness and negotiation skills.
The candidate should be commended for their use of detail. The entire paragraph is stippled with various details, including names, statistics, and particular facts. You should notice how the candidate does not simply name-drop law firms; they weave the mentioning of these firms into their answer. This ensures that the names themselves are not the focus of the candidate’s answer, instead, the names serve to lend strong support to what the candidate is already arguing. This is the difference between a candidate who tries merely to sound good and a candidate who actually produces an inherently persuasive answer.
Furthermore, you should notice how the candidate highlights particular relevant competencies throughout their answer. Ultimately, this paragraph concerns the candidate’s suitability for the role. Therefore, the focus needs to be on the skills that the firm would look for in a trainee solicitor. When you write your answers, especially when focusing on responding to a ‘why you?’ style question, you should focus on such competencies. The main competencies include but are not limited to teamwork/collaboration, persuasion, organisation, motivation/determination, integrity, written/oral communication, problem-solving, and resilience. You must remember, however, that you cannot make a claim that you have such competencies without supplying the necessary evidence. Therefore, you should ensure that you provide a personal example that evidences your claimed competency and explain that example such that the recruiter understands how it is that your chosen example demonstrates that you have the mentioned competency.
Finally, the candidate does well in providing a subtle chronology of events. If the previous paragraph and this section are read together, the candidate has provided the reader with an overview of their achievements and positions of responsibility starting from their first year in high school up until their second year of university. In effect, the candidate has structured their answer year-by-year, walking the recruiter through their record of accomplishments. This is excellent and is something you should look to do in your answers. You should note that law firms are looking for candidates with a track record of academic and extra-curricular success. Therefore, by providing the recruiter with a discussion of personal achievements and positions of responsibility in chronological order, the candidate is subtly demonstrating that they have such a history of success.
To employ such a chronology in your answers, you should observe how the candidate uses times and signposting in their answer. The candidate specifies what they did in their first year of university and then explicitly details what they did in their second year (they also used similar signposts in their previous paragraph concerning high school).
To improve this answer, once again, the candidate needed to have linked their discussion back to the argument at hand. Whilst the candidate does make some attempt to relate their answer back to working at Freshfields, their last sentence is too vague. The candidate writes, ‘As an ambitious student capable of producing high-quality work in a demanding environment, I believe I have the potential to succeed at Freshfields’. This is not necessarily an untrue statement; however, it does not communicate a particularly strong message.
To relate your answer back to a ‘why you?’ style question, you must explicitly explain how the competencies you have discussed would help you as a trainee solicitor at the firm. For example, such a link may look like this:
‘As a Freshfields trainee, my [insert competency here] skills would allow me to complete [insert a typical trainee task here] by [insert explanation here].
For instance, you may claim to have good attention to detail. This skill would be useful in proofreading documents or completing document comparisons. You can then explain how such a competency would work in practice when completing that particular task, for example, by being able to notice subtle differences in punctuation or the alteration of particular terms. By crafting a link section in this way, you are explicitly communicating to the recruiter that you are a good fit for a trainee solicitor and showing them why that is the case.
The recruiter does not want to have to search for your argument in your answers. They want to read your answer as quickly as possible and come to a determination as to whether it is to be accepted or rejected. Therefore, unless it is something subtle like a chronological structure (which is made explicit through the use of signposting anyway), you must be explicit and leave nothing up to the inferences that the recruiter may, or most probably, may not make.]
In no more than 850 words, consider "Why Me, Why Freshfields and Why Commercial Law" as the basis of your Personal Statement. You may also wish to mention any positions of responsibility held at school or subsequently, any regular employment or other work experience and any achievements, interests and personal qualities which are relevant.
Whilst interning at [redacted law firm],[redacted southeast Asian country] ’s leading law firm, I was exposed to a commercial lawyer’s work in navigating a client through a broad spectrum of business activities. This motivated me to understand how lawyers provide holistic guidance. Interning at [redacted law firm in southeast Asia], a member of [law firm group], I analysed [redacted country]’s upcoming COVID-19 Bill and assisted in advising on a tenancy dispute involving multinational corporations on the ideal way to initiate a proceeding before the Bill was implemented, and how our clients’ goals for expansion into other areas in [redacted country] could continue to be met given that the party in dispute was instrumental in facilitating this growth. I developed a deep appreciation for the advisory role of commercial lawyers in demonstrating a thorough understanding of their client’s interests, the evolving nature of legal landscapes and commercial markets to ensure their client stays ahead of the curve.
Feedback:The aim of this first paragraph looks good, as it directly addresses one of the question’s core elements from the outset (namely “Why commercial law?”). First, you should note how the candidate outlines and explains their point from the outset. We are immediately told that the candidate is interested in commercial law because they provide holistic guidance to business clients. This is substantiated by an example from the candidate’s work experience, which contextualises and personalises the candidate’s motivations. In turn, this adds structure to the candidate’s paragraph and makes it easier for the recruiter to follow the candidate’s subsequent argument. In the same fashion, you should follow the PEEL/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). You should state your motivational reason from the outset, before substantiating it with detailed personal examples and tailored analysis.
You should also note the quality of evidence that the candidate uses. The candidate summarises relevant commercial law work experience at the beginning. Then, the candidate zooms in on a specific example flowing from their assistance on the COVID-19 Bill. This provides specific, quantifiable evidence demonstrating that the candidate has a genuine interest in commercial law. Then, the candidate pivots their analysis around this specific example. They explain (1) what they did, (2) how their interest in the point developed from that example and (3) precisely what interested them about the example and why it did so. This persuades the recruiter that the candidate has a sustained and concrete interest in commercial law, which is reinforced by specific evidence and personalised examples. In your own writing, you must go beyond simply asserting that you have an abstract interest in commercial law. You should instead identify specific and high-quality personal evidence for your interest in commercial law, before analysing how your interest developed from that example.
The candidate’s writing is also coherent and well-structured, with the PEEL/AL system offering a clear framework. The candidate states their point immediately. Then, the candidate identifies specific evidence before analysing/explaining how their interest in the point developed from the example. Finally, the candidate includes a neat linking sentence to tie their evidence back in with the original point. At no point does the candidate lose focus – they stick to just one point per paragraph. In your own writing, you should follow PEEL/AL closely and use just one point per paragraph. This will result in a coherent paragraph that the recruiter can follow (and so be persuaded by) more easily.
As a point for improvement, the candidate’s central point needs to be better tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts an interest in commercial law because they “navigate clients through a broad spectrum of business activities”. The candidate explains at the end that they then “developed a deep appreciation for the advisory role of commercial lawyers”, before asserting that they want a “thorough understanding of their client’s interests”. The issue is that none of these features are truly unique to commercial law. You would be assisting clients with their business activities just as much in consulting or finance as you would in commercial law. The candidate does give passing mention to “legal landscapes” at the end, but they never explain what they mean by this nor why this specific aspect of commercial law interests them. This means that the candidate’s point needs to be tailored to commercial law. As a rule, if you can swap out “commercial law” with another career path then your writing is not tailored enough. You must centre your analysis around specific, unique elements of commercial law.
Attending an Open Day at [redacted Magic Circle firm (not Freshfields)], I was drawn to the emphasis on how facilitating and maintaining long-lasting client relationships characterised a commercial lawyer’s success. The key to my success in establishing my Personal Statement Advisory business has been building these very relationships with my own clients. I developed a 3-session plan directed towards understanding my clients background, life experiences and how they can reflect the best version of themselves on paper. My efforts have resulted in 75% of clients returning for other applications, and receiving unconditional offers from [redacted RG universities including one of Oxford/Cambridge]. Work where building and maintaining strong client relationships is a key component is what I am best suited to and where my skills lie. That this is the essence of a commercial lawyer’s career makes me confident that this is the path for me.
Feedback: As with the previous paragraph, the candidate does well in identifying their motivational point from the outset. The candidate then identifies and explains a specific personal example. Then, the candidate explains (1) precisely what they did during their business activities, (2) what they found interesting about it and (3) how that ultimately ties back in with that their interest in the original point (namely their interest in building and maintaining client relationships). This results in a coherent, well-structured and persuasive paragraph that illustrates the candidate’s firm interest in commercial law.
However, this paragraph is slightly weaker than the previous in a couple of regards:
It isn’t clear what part of the question the candidate is trying to address. They begin by stating a point of interest in commercial law. However, the candidate’s writing then gears towards competencies/the “Why me?” part of the question. They seem to write about their experience using the STAR structure, before explaining (1) the specific outcome and (2) that they learned how to build client relationships from this experience. It is unclear precisely why building client relationships is interesting to the candidate. This all means that the candidate’s writing is a little confused and unfocused. In your own cover letters, you should address each part of the question separately by using distinct paragraphs for each. This will make your cover letter well-structured and easy to follow.
The candidate shoehorns an outcome into their answer (namely that they received a 75% success rate), before also mentioning that the clients received Oxbridge/RG university offers. It’s not clear how this explains the candidate’s motivations for commercial law. The candidate might have been better off using this example as a separate “Why me?” paragraph, where they would be expected to describe this example using STAR.
As with the previous paragraph, the candidate’s reasoning is not tailored enough to commercial law. You would be expected to “build client relationships” in any industry, not just the legal sector. As such, the candidate needed to explain (1) why this feature is unique to commercial law and (2) why that unique feature encouraged them to pursue a career in commercial law. The candidate’s asserted interest in “building client relationships” does not go far enough in explaining their interest in commercial law.
As a rule, you should address each element of the cover letter separately by using distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should distinctly address (1) why commercial law, (2) why law firm and (3) why you. There should be little-to-no crossover between each paragraph. This will prevent your writing from becoming muddled and confusing.
I find commercial law the underpinning factor of trendsetting market practices. Working as a legal content writer for the accredited legal blog [redacted blog site] I wrote an article on the rumoured acquisition between PayPal and Pinterest that confounded many. Upon analysing PayPal’s transactions and commercial aspirations, it was evident that the acquisition would have allowed them to enter the emerging social commerce market. This attempted collaboration exemplifies how commercial law facilitates the creation of new opportunities. The promise of varied work every day and the chance to engage with unchartered commercial opportunities motivates me to pursue commercial law as a career.
Feedback:This paragraph has similar strengths to the previous. Once again, the candidate structures their paragraph sensibly using the PEEL/AL structure. This results in a focused, coherent paragraph that is easy for the recruiter to follow (and so be persuaded by). As with previous paragraphs, the candidate does well to centre their analysis around a specific personal example. The candidate identifies (1) a specific example of an interesting deal they researched, before (2) explaining what elements of the PayPal-Pinterest deal interested them and (3) why that deal interested them. Then, the candidate makes an effort to link that deal back in with commercial law. You should aim for similar levels of specificity in your own writing. If you can hone in on specific and detailed examples from your extracurricular/work experience, then you will persuade the recruiter that you have a sustained interest in commercial law.
However, this paragraph suffers from a couple of weaknesses. First, the candidate needs to draw a better connection between their example and their interest in commercial law. Currently, it’s unclear how the example relates to commercial law. The candidate identifies a deal and discusses some interesting features, but they never explain (1) precisely how commercial lawyers were involved in that deal nor (2) how the deal ultimately developed their interest in commercial law. Instead, the candidate focuses on generic features of the deal. It’s not clear how the candidate’s assertion that “commercial law facilitates new opportunities” follows from their previous writing. As such, the candidate should have drawn a tighter link between the example and their interest in commercial law.
Secondly, the candidate’s reason is not tailored enough to commercial law. Nearly every career path in the City will involve “trendsetting market practices” and “varied work on unchartered commercial opportunities”. These are not unique features of commercial law. In your own writing, you need to make sure that you identify specific and unique features of commercial law. This will convince the recruiter that you have researched commercial law and discounted other career paths in favour of it.
Freshfields represents the ideal firm to engage with ground-breaking work of this sort. Speaking to Alastair Brown at ‘An Evening with Freshfield’ this year, I was amazed at his account of his involvement on the first ever asset transfer deal in Myanmar for Colgate, and how he travelled the country extensively to understand the governments requirements when executing the deal, all when he was just an associate. The prospect of being exposed to such complex and transformative work from very early in my career is why I am assured I will receive first-rate training at Freshfields.
Feedback: The candidate now moves towards addressing the “Why Freshfields” element of the question. As with the “why commercial law?” section, the candidate structures this paragraph sensibly using PEEL/AL. You should particularly note how the candidate develops their initial point. Not only do they assert an interest in Freshfields work, but they substantiate it by discussing a specific and personal experience with the firm. They identify a named event with a specific Freshfields lawyer, before (1) identifying a specific deal discussed at that event and (2) explaining what they found interesting about it. In your own writing, you should always go beyond simply name-dropping deals that the firm has done. You should explain precisely what features of the deal interest you, before analysing how those features make Freshfields unique and why said features appeal to you.
However, the candidate’s reasoning needs to be tailored to Freshfields more closely. It is currently quite generic. First, the candidate never goes beyond explaining that they are interested in Freshfields’ “ground-breaking” and “transformative” work. These are subjective opinions that could apply just as equally to any Magic Circle law firm. Most of these firms will be working on similarly complex and “ground-breaking” work. The candidate’s Colgate/Myanmar example also does not go far enough in tailoring their reasoning to Freshfields. All Magic Circle firms attract similarly complex and multi-jurisdictional work to the Colgate asset transfer deal. The majority of Magic Circle firms will also offer similar opportunities for ad-hoc travel at associate level. As such, the candidate needed to go much further in explaining how that deal makes Freshfields a unique firm.
Upon meeting Freshfields at [redacted RG university] Law Society’s ‘Know the City’, I gained a deeper understanding of the firms unrivalled trainee development and structure. One thing that intrigues me is the incorporation of Corporate, Finance and Real Estate into a singular Global Transactions team. This facilitates a much smoother workflow, creating more efficient services for clients and the opportunity for trainees to get involved with a range of work at once. Freshfields unique 8-seat training contract bolsters this training exposure. The chance to delve into a range of legal fields, explore transactional and contentious aspects of practice, and work across the many jurisdictions Freshfields deals with will allow me to make the best decision with regards to my future as a commercial lawyer.
Feedback:This paragraph is an improvement on the previous. This time, the candidate not only identifies a personal experience with Freshfields but they later develop and tailor it. The candidate identifies two unique features of Freshfields, namely its integrated Global Transactions Team and its unique 8-seat structure. This demonstrates that the candidate has carried out specific research into Freshfields and has identified unique appealing features as a result. In turn, this persuades the recruiter that the candidate has made a specific, strategic decision to apply to Freshfields as opposed to any other firm.
However, the candidate’s writing is unfocused and lacks development in numerous points. This is because the candidate has opted for breadth over depth. They have crammed two entirely separate reasons for being interested in Freshfields, namely (1) its departmental structure and (2) its training contract structure. The candidate only makes simple and underdeveloped assertions about each feature (owing to word count restrictions). For instance, the candidate identifies a benefit of the Global Transactions structure but never explains why it personally interests them. Similarly, the candidate identifies a generic benefit of the 8-seat structure without ever tying it back in with their own interests. The candidate offers no personal evidence/examples in support of their interest in each point. As a result, much of this paragraph is vague and lacking in thorough analysis.
In your own writing, you should stick to one point per paragraph. Each point should be developed in full using the PEEL/AL structure. Had the candidate separated each point into distinct paragraphs, they would have been able to develop each point fully using personalised examples.
Considering the increasing application of legal tech in creating client solutions, it is vital for me to evaluate how law firms are reacting to such change to secure their own future in the industry. ‘Freshfields Focus’ 2021 on Technology and Innovation offered great insight into the firm’s digital transformation strategy to provide greater value to clients whilst facilitating efficiency internally. The use of Kira increasing efficiency up to 40% and Freshfields Lab’s wide collaboration with tech start-ups exemplifies this process. The drive to continuously innovate and implement technology in delivering outstanding legal services is another reason why I am keen on pursuing my career at Freshfields.
Feedback: The candidate now moves onto their final reason for Freshfields, namely its legal technology approach. We are impressed by the depth of research throughout this paragraph. The candidate takes a generic point about legal tech, before substantiating it with specific and detailed research into Freshfields’ strategy. First, the candidate identifies a specific and named Freshfields event that they attended. Given that the candidate has identified other events elsewhere in the answer, this now demonstrates the candidate’s sustained and long-term personal interest in Freshfields. Then, the candidate identifies (1) a specific Freshfields technology scheme and (2) a precise and quantified statistic illustrating how technology has improved Freshfields’ processes. You should aim for similar levels of specificity and depth in your own writing. If you can develop your points with specific research, then you will tailor your writing and demonstrate a serious interest in the firm.
However, this paragraph has two points for improvement. First, the candidate needed to explain why Freshfields’ legal technology strategy interests them. The candidate asserts that they are interested in “Freshfields’ drive to continuously innovate and implement technology”. However, the candidate never goes any further in explaining this. Without any personal examples backing up the candidate’s interest in technology, it is unclear (1) why the candidate has any interest in this feature of Freshfields nor (2) how that feature developed the candidate’s personal interest in the firm. In your own writing, you need to go beyond simply asserting an interest in the firm. You must instead substantiate your interest with specific personal examples.
Secondly, the paragraph is missing some comparative analysis. The candidate states that Kira has “increased efficiency by up to 40%”, but it would have been helpful for the candidate to contextualise it and compare Freshfields’ successes against other Magic Circle firms. Simply put, most City firms have successful legal technology strategies with demonstratable positive results. This is not a unique feature of Freshfields. As such, the candidate needed to go further in explaining precisely how Freshfields’ legal technology successes make it unique.
As Chambers Careers Officer of the [redacted university] Law Society in [redacted year], I aimed to bring awareness to the barrister route and contribute to improving accessibility to and diversity in this field. To achieve this, I launched the Society’s first ever ‘Mentoring Scheme’, where I assigned 16 candidates from underrepresented backgrounds to other students who had mini pupillage/ pupillage experience. By working with my team of Junior Mooting Officers, we contacted and successfully recruited 20 barristers from top sets like Doughty Street Chambers and 3 Verulam Buildings to act as barrister mentors. The scheme was incredibly successful, with a 97% satisfaction rate reported by both mentees and mentors via feedback forms I distributed. Our efforts led to the [redacted university] Law Society being nominated for the LawCareers.Net [redacted year] ‘Best Careers Events’ award.
Feedback: The candidate now addresses the final element of the question, namely “Why me?”. This is a strong paragraph with very few weaknesses. First, you should note how the candidate gets straight into an example rather than simply listing out their skills to the recruiter. In turn, this means the recruiter can freely infer a variety of competencies from the candidate’s writing. In your own writing, you must prove that you have skills/competencies by identifying a specific example and dissecting the exact steps you took throughout. This allows the recruiter to interpret your skills from the various steps/actions that you took.
The candidate also makes good use of the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) in two regards. First, the candidate describes their steps/actions in specific and quantified numerical detail. We are given the complete context surrounding (1) the number of people this candidate worked with and (2) the specific number of barristers this candidate recruited into the scheme. This gives the recruiter an insight into the scale of this candidate’s actions, which in turn makes it more persuasive.
Secondly, the candidate describes the results of their actions exceptionally well. You should note the level of detail and specificity used by the candidate. Not only does the candidate identify a specific statistical success rate of 97%, but they also identify a named and specific award nomination that they received as a direct consequence of the candidate’s actions. In your own writing, you should describe the result in similar levels of detail. You should give the recruiter a complete insight into your achievements. Where possible, this should include numerical and statistical details that quantify your results. In turn, this will substantiate your actions and add persuasive weight to your writing.
However, the candidate needed to provide further details on the steps/actions they took. Currently, the candidate’s steps/actions are quite vague and generic. We are given relatively little insight into the candidate’s own actions, beyond the fact that they simply “worked with their team” and “contacted/recruited barristers”. At no point does the candidate tell us (1) the specific challenges they faced, nor (2) the specific methods of teamwork they used or (3) the strategies they used to recruit barristers. Most of the marks for competency questions lie in the actions, as recruiters will read your steps/actions and infer your skills from them. As such, you need to unpack your actions in as much specific detail as possible.
Why have you decided to pursue a career as a solicitor in a commercial law firm? (200 words max)*
My interest in commercial law was sparked by working closely with faculty when running university events such as open days and induction days. Through my involvement in customer service, I had become indirectly involved in the marketing of the university. For example, I organised a speed networking event within a tight budget. This experience I believe contributed greatly to my commercial acumen and interest in commerce.
Feedback: The candidate does well to share a personal insight, namely their experience of working for their university, in support of their self-avowed motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law because it increases the likelihood of their answer being perceived as credible and authentic. For emphasis, the candidate could have mirrored the wording of the prompt more closely, e.g., “I have decided to pursue a career as a solicitor in a commercial law firm because […]”, though this is a relatively minor point. To make their answer more persuasive, the candidate could have explained why and/or how their experience of working for their university prompted their interest in commerce as opposed to leaving the recruiter to read between the lines, especially given the fact that the link between the two is not immediately obvious.
I then went on to gain experience in different legal electives and found my commercial law electives more engaging than the Human rights elective I took during undergraduate degree. I enjoyed learning how business drives the economy and how the law impacts these enterprises. My curiosity led me to complete I further went on to complete online courses on topics such as Mergers & Acquisitions, Private Equity and Legal Technology and staying updated with the news through the Financial Times daily news. Learning about the impact of commercial law, strengthened my desire to pursue a career at a commercial law firm. briefing podcast and using Watson's Daily News mobile application.
Feedback: The candidate bolsters the strength of their answer by providing the recruiter with further evidence of their motivation to pursue a career in commercial law. What makes their answer particularly effective is the fact that it places a great deal of emphasis on the candidate’s initiative-taking in terms of developing their motivation; not only does this increase the credibility of the answer, but it also suggests that the candidate is a dedicated, entrepreneurial individual. To achieve a similar effect, you could reference any relevant courses you have taken in your own time, any relevant books or articles you have read, and/or any relevant events you have attended. Equally, you could reveal the sources you are using in order to develop your commercial awareness. To improve their answer, the candidate could have avoided contrasting their commercial law electives with their human rights elective not least because the two are not mutually exclusive or polar opposites. On the contrary, commercial law firms and their clients are becoming increasingly concerned with issues pertaining to human rights as part of their “corporate social responsibility” strategies. Crucially, the candidate could have proofread their answer more closely so as to avoid drafting oversights such as the last sentence which is clearly a leftover train of thought that was meant to be deleted or incorporated elsewhere.
I built on my theoretical interest by taking up also had the chance to complete 5 different commercial law work placements in national law firms, regional ones and an international law firm, [redacted]. I found the variety of legal work required as well as the collaborative and rapidly changing nature of the field enticing, which helped me solidify my decision to pursue a career as a solicitor in a commercial law firm.
Feedback: Finally, the candidate cites their relevant work experience as evidence of their motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law, which does not only increase the credibility of their answer but also showcases their genuine commitment to the aforementioned career path. What makes their answer particularly effective is the fact that it highlights the aspects of the work that the candidate particularly enjoyed. To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have discussed the kinds of tasks they undertook and/or the kinds of insights that they gained as part of their relevant work experience.
Please explain why you have decided to pursue a career as a solicitor in a legal and professional services business? (200 words max) *
I have recently begun in a career change into law after spending two and a half years in the renewable energy sector. Though I’ve always been confident in my analytical ability, holding a position of responsibility at [redacted business in the energy sector], then a fast-growing business, gave me the chance to combine that ability with leadership and interpersonal skills. This, coupled with a long-term fascination with the law (evidenced my work experience at my local court whilst still at school) and a desire to collaborate in an intellectually stimulating environment, has made a legal career my natural next step.
Feedback: This question deviates slightly from typical “why commercial law” questions, in that it also requires you to touch upon your reasons for wanting to work at a combined legal and professional services business (as opposed to just a traditional law firm). This is because Gateley operates as a publicly listed professional services business as opposed to a typical LLP. In view of the very tight word count, you would need to spend roughly 100 words each on (1) why solicitor and (2) why legal and professional services business in equal depth (as this candidate has done here).
The candidate identifies some obvious features of a career in law. You should also note how the candidate tries to tie in their points with personal examples from their experiences in court/the energy sector. When making a motivational point for a career in law, you must always tie your points back in with specific and detailed personal examples which show why that point is important to you personally. This will convince the recruiter not only that you have thought carefully about a career in law, but also that you will stick with the career path in the long term.
However, this first paragraph is quite weak overall. The candidate spends much of their paragraph asserting the competencies they have, instead of offering specific and tailored reasons for the solicitor path. These competencies are uncalled for by the question, but in any event the candidate does not substantiate these with any examples. Furthermore, the candidate’s personal motivations are not entirely convincing. First, the candidate asserts that they have a long-term fascination with the law but does not explain the example they provide. We do not know what this work experience at court involved, what the candidate took away from it and how this links back to the candidate’s interest in being a solicitor.
Secondly, the candidate’s reasoning is not quite specific enough to the solicitor path. The candidate asserts an interest in problem-solving and collaboration, but this is not unique to law. Nearly every career path in the City will offer you intellectually stimulating environments and opportunities to collaborate with others. As a rule of thumb, if you can swap out “solicitor” with another career path (e.g., investment banking) then your reasoning isn’t specific enough to law.
To avoid these issues, you should follow the PEEL/AL structure closely: point, evidence, explanation/analysis (of said evidence) and a link back to the overall thrust of your argument. This guarantees that all your points are well-substantiated and so the reader can follow (and be persuaded by) your arguments. You should make a point about why the solicitor path interests you. Then, you should offer specific and detailed personal examples evidencing your interest and analyse what interested you about these examples. Finally, you should link your examples back to your interest in the solicitor route.
The candidate also wastes 22 words explaining that they are a career-changer, when this would have been obvious from their application anyway. This would have prevented the candidate from going into the depth needed for a strong answer. You should not waste space covering points that would have been evident from your application in the first place. Instead, the candidate should have stated their reason for a career in law from the outset. In view of the word count, it is crucial that you get straight to the point.
The candidate’s grammar is also clumsy in a couple of places. In the first sentence, “begun in” should just be “begun”. Towards the end of the paragraph, the candidate also writes “evidenced my work experience” which instead should be “evidenced by my work experience”. You should keep in mind that recruiters continually assess your written English proficiency throughout. As such, you should always proofread your work carefully and (if possible) get a second person to check your work for issues.
Having recently met Gateley at a law fair, learning that the legal and consultancy arms of the business were fully integrated cemented my desire to apply. Being able to collaborate with experienced consultants, as well as lawyers, to provide holistic advice is incredibly exciting. I am particularly interested in Gateley’s regulatory work. It gives the opportunity for a detailed understanding of a client’s needs and operations as well as the regulatory regime it operates within. Gateley’s joint legal and professional service expertise lends itself well to this kind of work. It is a place where I know I would thrive.
Feedback: This paragraph is an improvement on the previous. Firstly, the candidate leads in with a tailored point about why Gateley appeals to them. While not explicitly called for by the question, it is a good idea to tailor your points to Gateley. This is because Gateley’s professional services structure is a unique feature of that firm. As such, you should use this question as an opportunity to home in on your interest in Gateley’s unique structure. Also, the candidate has done well to point out their attendance at Gateley’s stall in a law fair. This demonstrates that the candidate has committed themselves to Gateley and invested meaningful time into the firm.
This paragraph suffers from two drawbacks. First, the candidate does not offer any personal examples evidencing their interest in the point. The candidate asserts that they are excited by these collaborative opportunities with consultants and that they “know they would thrive”, but it is never explained why these features appeal to the candidate personally. As such, the recruiter would not have been completely convinced by the candidate’s motivations. To improve, the candidate should have offered personal examples explaining why these collaborative opportunities appeal to them, before tying that example back in with their interest in Gateley.
Secondly, the candidate has spread themselves too thinly by talking about Gateley’s “regulatory work” more widely. This means that the candidate can do little more than assert an interest in regulatory work, without explaining what they mean by this or explaining why it personally appeals to them. The candidate’s reasoning for “regulatory work” is also generic. You would need to “understand a client’s needs and operations” in any area of law, not just “regulatory work”. Given that the question does not ask you to discuss your wider interest in Gateley’s work, the candidate could have cut this out in favour of meaningful analysis on the “why legal/professional services” point.
Why do you want to be a solicitor at an international law firm? 250 words
I want to be a solicitor at an international law firm for two reasons. Firstly, it would enable me to work with a diverse group of colleagues and clients. I have learnt to excel in diverse environments after having had the privilege to study, compete and work in a variety of countries. Being a solicitor at an international law firm compels working with colleagues from varying educational and cultural backgrounds. If one is unable to adapt to diverse environments, cultural and language barriers may arise which have the potential of leading to conflicting working styles and the misinterpretation of professional communication. After completing an article for Jits Magazine, in conjunction with a Spanish architect who had limited English language skills, I understand that alongside such risk, there is also a greater variety of perspectives present. Such diverse cultural perspectives frequently inspire critical creative approaches throughout collaboration. I aspire to continue to utilize my global commercial knowledge and ability to collaborate with individuals from different backgrounds in a work context.
[Feedback: There are several things that the candidate has done well in this first paragraph:
1. In their first sentence, the candidate manages the reader’s expectations. They tell the reader the structure of their answer to come.
2. The candidate correctly identifies a feature of working as a solicitor in an international law firm.
3. The candidate employs personal evidence and examples to evidence how they best fit the career/role.
4. The paragraph is well-written with some flair but, more importantly, clarity.
You should note that whilst we recommend adhering to the PEE/AL structure, if you are an experienced and confident candidate, you can deviate from this structure to communicate an answer with added flair or complexity, as this candidate has done. However, this is more an optional extra, rather than a mandatory requirement.
The former half of the answer discusses the candidate’s point and their suitability in abstract (merging the ‘point’ and ‘explanation’ parts of the PEE/AL structure), before moving into a discussion of a specific example, and how that links back to the candidate’s point and the question (merging ‘example’ and ‘link’).
As a point of improvement, this answer could have done with some additional signposting throughout the paragraph to guide the reader through the candidate’s thought process. Using introductory phrases or words can assist the recruiter with understanding how the proceeding sentences work in the context of your answer. For example, you might consider using such introductions as:
● ‘In abstraction, […]’, ‘In practice, […]’, ‘For example, […]’, ‘Furthermore, […]’.
You can also use “linking phrases” such as:
● ‘To further develop my [insert skill/interest here]’, ‘Speaking with [insert person here] motivated me to explore/develop [insert skill/topic here]’.
When used appropriately, these phrases will ensure that you write clear, flowing answers, where the recruiter can easily track your argumentation and thought process.
As a final point of improvement, the candidate could have been a little more specific with their discussion of what the work/experience of being at an international commercial law firm is like. Although they do go into more detail in the next paragraph, you should always be as detailed as the constraints of the format allow.
For example, the candidate writes: ‘I aspire to continue to utilize my global commercial knowledge and ability to collaborate with individuals from different backgrounds in a work context.’ – they could have specified what specific ‘global commercial knowledge and ability’ they have and what specific ‘work’ they would be doing when employing such knowledge/ability. If the candidate had included this knowledge, they would have better evidenced their knowledge of what it is actually like to work in an international commercial law firm.]
Secondly, at an international law firm I would have the opportunity to be involved with commercial work encompassing international dimensions in sectors which interest me. I thoroughly enjoyed working on a finance deal at Eversheds Sutherland LLP, involving Iraqi and Jordanian cross-jurisdictional elements. Specifically, I enjoyed the constant problem solving that was present when engaging with unique cross-jurisdictional situations. Through an international law firm’s wide-reaching practice, I would have the opportunity to frequently engage in such work with international dimensions.
[Feedback: The first point to note is that this paragraph is substantially shorter than the previous one. You should try to make sure all your points within an answer have their fair share of the word count so as to ensure that you develop each one properly. Remember, your whole answer is judged, so it is not good enough to have one stand out paragraph and some really weak “tagged on” statements.
This paragraph suffers from being too short and the candidate not giving themselves enough space to fully explain themselves. The salient point the candidate makes in this answer is that international work adds an added dimension of complexity; however, they do not make this clear enough in their answer. Remember, when writing your answers, it is always best to lead with your main point and write that point explicitly.
Furthermore, the candidate needs some additional development in their answer: for example, we would recommend that the candidate included more specific information on the work they did at Eversheds Sutherland (confidentiality must be maintained; however, they could have still included some specific information on the kind of work they did).
Finally, the last sentence of the paragraph is a weak link – when writing your answers, remember to fully write out your argumentation: you would have the opportunity to engage with international work which you enjoy, but how does that link back to the question? Remember, you might enjoy many things, but you must show what real benefit such work/experience gives you, and those benefits should not be generic. Always ask yourself, “could I get this same benefit from working in an investment bank/consultancy firm?” – if the answer is yes, then there is a chance your argument is too generic.]
Why have you decided to pursue a career as a solicitor? What other options did you consider seriously and why did you choose not to pursue them? (200 words)
To begin with, a commercial solicitor has to be able to provide a wide variety of legal services for his/her clients. This means a solicitor has the challenging task of having to possess extensive knowledge about the legal world as well as the business world in order to be able to be creative when it comes to solving legal issues, same as how a guitarist has to know all the chords before he can start improvising with jazz. This, I believe, allows a lawyer to fully immerse themselves in their professions and really become masters of their craft, which leads to a fulfilling career.
Feedback: We advise that answers to this question split themselves into two paragraphs of equal depth, as this student has done: (1) why you are pursuing a career as a commercial law and (2) why you are discounting other options (in favour of commercial law). In view of the very limited word count, candidates should dive straight into their reasoning for a career in commercial law. This paragraph successfully highlights an attractive feature of commercial law. The candidate offers a strong reason that is directly tailored to commercial law – it leaves no ambiguities about the candidate’s motivations.
One point for improvement is that the candidate needs to write more concisely, in view of the highly restrictive word count. Firstly, the candidate’s guitarist analogy is not necessary. The candidate’s point is clear and straightforward – it does not require illustration with an analogy. Secondly, much of the candidate’s writing can be cut down without compromising on quality. “To begin with” can be “first”; “a commercial solicitor has to be able to provide” can be “commercial solicitors must provide”. The amended wording has the same meaning as the previous, but it saves the candidate precious words. The candidate then has space to develop their points further.
Candidates should always be cautious about using informal language, such as “really”.
Moreover, the opportunity to be part of deals that can change the face of a particular business sector and, thus, possibly even the entire society, from early on has attracted me to such a career, as I believe it offers an incentive to give 100% in your role.
Feedback: The candidate explained why they are interested in business more generally. However, it is generic – it is not tailored specifically to commercial law. This point could apply to any party involved in a commercial deal (be it lenders, investment banks, buyers/sellers and so on). We recommend that candidates focus on what specifically attracts them to commercial law, as opposed to any other commercial line of work.
If the candidate is really struggling for word counts, they could probably cut this paragraph altogether and provide more depth in the previous paragraph. At just 200 words, you have to pick your battles and you will not be able to explain every reason for your interest in commercial law.
To write succinctly, you first must know what you want to say. Did this candidate start by bullet pointing the two or three points that they wanted to convey in their answer? We’re not convinced. It’s also not clear that this candidate truly understands what a career in law entails - which is exactly what this question is designed to test.
I also considered management consulting, as in school I enjoyed studying Business Studies and I was also a very good mathematics student. While finding it to be an attractive alternative, I believe that my passion for advocacy and law can properly be furthered by a legal career.
Feedback: Here, the candidate addresses the second element of the question decently. The candidate has selected a relevant business/commercial career path and explained why they considered it. However, the candidate leaves the second point underdeveloped. The candidate asserts that they have a passion for advocacy and law, but they do not expand on this point any further. They didn’t mention this as one of the key pull factors for pursuing a career in law above. We don’t know why the candidate likes advocacy or considers it important.
Why do you want to be a trainee solicitor in a transactional focused firm? (400 words)
I want to be a trainee solicitor in a transactional focused firm because I have realised that the complex, yet rewarding, nature of corporate law is something that very much appeals to me. I enjoy problem-solving and the fact that, as a lawyer, you are required to solve complicated issues for sophisticated clients. This was substantiated at a recent vacation scheme at Weil, Gotshal & Manges in July 2019 where I sat in the private funds team and observed the team's role in raising an infrastructure fund. I found it extremely interesting to witness how the partners carefully structured the fund to ensure its tax efficiency; it is this complexity within the profession that I believe makes law in a transactional focused firm more intellectually stimulating than other careers.
[Feedback: For this question, we would recommend splitting into three parts: ‘why a transactional focused firm?’, ‘why K&E?’ and ‘why you (as a trainee solicitor)?’.
The candidate’s first paragraph addresses ‘why a transactional focused firm?’. The candidate follows a PEE/AL structure, logically working through their reasoning behind their attraction to transactional work. Furthermore, the candidate draws on their past work at a competitor to K&E, Weil, to substantiate their claims.
The first point of improvement concerns the candidate’s passive tone. The candidate cites a vacation scheme at Weil, a direct competitor to K&E. However, the candidate discusses this experience in a passive tone. Avoid phrases like ‘I observed’, ‘I witnessed’ and ‘I believe’. This suggests that the candidate did not do anything during the vacation scheme and instead merely watched others and that the candidate is unsure of what they know. Always try and use dynamic verbs/phrasing to highlight what you did, even if that is just developing your skills or deepening your understanding of something. With regards to ‘I believe’, you should instead write ‘I know’.
A second point of improvement concerns the end of the candidate’s answer. The candidate writes that ‘law in a transactional focused firm [is] more intellectually stimulating than other careers’. However, the candidate fails to identify why intellectual stimulation is important to them or why it is an attractive quality of the career. The candidate seems to want the reader to infer that they like problem-solving and that problem-solving relates to intellectual stimulation; however, they do not make this clear in their answer. It would have been better for the candidate to make that link explicit and then explain why they enjoy problem-solving.
Remember, in these cases, you must write explicitly so that your motivations are completely clear. If you leave it up to the recruiter to infer your motivations, they will most likely miss them or simply not give you the benefit of the doubt and think that you do not have any clear reasons for pursuing the career/a training contract at the firm.]
Therefore, following this placement, I want to be a transactional lawyer at Kirkland & Ellis because the firm has a wide-ranging commercial practice and a strong focus on M&A. More specifically, Kirkland & Ellis Tier 1 investment funds practice drew my attention as I believe this will lead to intriguing and complex legal work. Whilst at Weil, my interest in investment funds was confirmed as I saw how a fund’s lawyers work involves providing innovative solutions to complex issues for sophisticated clients. This interests me because, as a lawyer, I will need to be at the top of my game and will be pushed outside my comfort zone. Moreover, the opportunity to go on an international secondment to the firm’s offices in New York or Hong Kong is also important to me, as it would allow me to get further exposure to Kirkland & Ellis diverse client population across a broad geographic spread.
[Feedback: This answer is good for its link to the preceding paragraph and its use of some specific detail. However, once again, we would suggest that this paragraph could be improved with more detail and stronger argumentation.
Much of this paragraph is simply a reworked copy of the previous paragraph. The candidate reiterates that they are interested in ‘complex legal work’ and what they ‘saw’ at Weil. Whilst it is good for you to have your paragraphs link together, try to avoid repeating content in your answers – it wastes word count and does not add anything substantial to your application.
Furthermore, the candidate makes a slightly dangerous move in citing their experience of investment funds at Weil as their motivation for pursuing a career at K&E. Whether the following is true or not, a poor picture is painted: the candidate had a vacation scheme at Weil but failed to attain at training contract and so goes to K&E for a second shot. Whilst we encourage you to cite your previous vacation scheme experiences, especially if you have done actual work there, be careful not to neglect the firm that you are applying to and accidentally imply that the firm you are applying to is actually your second choice.
Finally, we would recommend that the candidate include some more detail regarding K&E’s work. Whilst the candidate does provide specific evidence for K&E’s prowess in investment funds, it would be good if the candidate explained how K&E’s overall transactional practice/the way they do work is attractive to them.]
I also have a very strong work ethic and am constantly trying to improve and develop my skills. I have always been highly self-critical, both in an academic or professional sense and also in a sporting one. I believe it is crucial to be able to identify areas for improvement even when results are going well. I feel this characteristic is what has allowed me to represent England on an international stage in hockey. On a similar level, I value constructive criticism on my performance and the emphasis which Kirkland & Ellis places upon mentoring and feedback is therefore highly appealing.
[Feedback: Whilst this is a perfectly fine answer for ‘why me?’, it strays a little too far from the question at hand. The question asks why you wish to be a trainee solicitor at a transactional focused firm; however, the candidate has written an answer that explains that they are a good fit for K&E.
Consequently, we would recommend a different approach to this section – in your paragraph you should look to answer the following questions and, in doing so, craft a strong argument to answer the question with a ‘why me?’ focus.
1. What skills/abilities does transactional work demand trainee solicitors to have?
2. What training do trainee solicitors get a transactional focused firms like K&E?
3. How will the answer to (2) help you to develop the answer to (1)?
4. Why is developing the answer to (1) important to you?
5. Why would you be a good candidate to receive the answer to (2) to develop the answer to (1)?]
Why do you want to be a trainee solicitor in a transactional focused firm? (400)
Working with the Shipping & Superyacht Finance team at Clyde & Co sparked my interest in transactional work. By shadowing a partner and an associate on an asset-financing deal, I gained a first-hand insight into the role of a commercial lawyer on a complex transaction and learnt that my collaborative ability would be well-suited at a transactional focused firm. I organised sections of the conditions precedent checklist and liaised with my trainee buddy to collate the relevant signatures required before the signing. I enjoyed the collaborative nature of the deal as trainees play a key role in coordinating with opposing counsel and different jurisdictions in order to facilitate the transaction. I learnt that the complexity of transactional law means transactional lawyers' teamwork skills are constantly being tested and developed in order to overcome commercial challenges at each stage of the transaction.
Feedback: The candidate aptly suggests that transactional work demands a collaborative approach from commercial solicitors and illustrates their suggestion with the insights that they gathered from their own experience of working on “an asset-financing deal” at a commercial law firm. The candidate also reveals the tasks that they undertook as well as the aspects that they enjoyed whilst working on the deal. In doing so, they showcase their first-hand understanding of transactional work and lend credibility to their answer. For emphasis, the candidate could have contrasted the collaborative approach demanded by transactional work with the adversarial approach demanded by contentious work to better frame their suggestion regarding the importance of teamwork to the prospect of overcoming the complexities and challenges of transactional work. At the same time, the candidate could have tailored their answer to K&E by mentioning the firm’s outlook on collaboration and/or teamwork. Alternatively, they could have mentioned the transferability of their collaborative nature to the role of trainee solicitor at K&E, a firm with a notoriously small trainee intake.
The fast-paced nature of transactional work also appeals to me. Consistent private equity deal closures throughout the COVID-19 pandemic demonstrates the appetite from investors to profit from undervalued assets and pursue transactions despite the economic uncertainty. In turn, this has generated a steady stream of workflow for well-hedged firms who can service their clients throughout all economic climates. As a trainee at K&E, this would provide me with greater exposure to transactions than at competitor firms. Working on multiple deals under shorter time frames appeals to me, because it would provide a steeper learning curve throughout the training contract. This would allow me to acquire a deeper understanding of the broader elements of a transaction which is crucial in order to provide creative solutions for clients.
Feedback: The candidate correctly characterises transactional work as fast-paced. Echoing the comment made supra, their characterisation could have been made in a more emphatic manner had they contrasted the timelines involved in transactional work with those involved in contentious work, especially in terms of resolving disputes via litigation; this is, however, a relatively minor point in the grand scheme of things. The candidate pertinently frames their answer in terms of private equity, K&E’s principal area of expertise, showcasing their research into the firm, as well as their understanding of the firm’s profile relative to its competitors. By mentioning the impact of the pandemic on private equity firms and “transactional focused” law firms, the candidate demonstrates their commercial awareness and their ability to think critically. What makes their answer particularly effective, however, is the fact that they explain why fast-paced work appeals to them and why they believe that being exposed to such work as a trainee is beneficial in the long term; this increases the likelihood of their application standing out as authentic.
The variety of private-equity focussed transactional work at K&E also stands out to me. By completing an online course on private equity and venture capital by Bocconi University, I learnt that private equity clients, in particular, invest in companies across different sectors, geographies and lifecycles. As a trainee, this would offer a unique sense of variety and challenge to the work. I find it exciting how one day I could be working on a deal for a high-growth tech company and the next dealing with issues from a distressed retail business. The depth of K&Es transactional expertise across practice areas provides excellent opportunities to develop my understanding into a range of industries. This confirms to me that K&E would provide an unparalleled start to my legal career.
Feedback: The candidate correctly remarks that transactional work is varied, especially in terms of private equity matters, and aptly illustrated their remark with the insights they gained whilst taking an online course of their own volition. In doing so, they not only showcase their commercial awareness but also highlight their proactive attitude relative to their pursuit of a career in commercial law. Echoing the comments made supra, the candidate does well to explain why varied work appeals to them and why they believe that being exposed to such work as a trainee is beneficial in the long term. They also do well to mention the span of K&E transactional work across different practice areas and industries, though they could have tailored their answer to the firm even further by giving examples of the different kinds of clients it has serviced or the different kinds of work it has undertaken in recent times. Equally, they could have given examples of accolades received by the firm in connection to its expertise in terms of private equity matters.
Why do you want to become a commercial lawyer? (250 words)
My ambition to pursue a career in commercial law was affirmed following an internship at a local law firm.
[Feedback: Clear, succinct introduction to answer. This effectively signposts that the candidate (1) has relevant work experience and (2) will refer back to it extensively in justifying his or her interest in commercial law. The candidate could clarify the location of the law firm (e.g. “local law firm in Hong Kong”) because it’s a natural question for the reviewer to ask themselves.]
In the corporate team, I worked on a due diligence report for the IPO listing of an automobile company. I enjoyed utilising the analytical ability I have developed through participation in mooting competitions to identify potential risks in the transaction. The fast paced nature of transactional work also appealed to me as it allowed me to experience the different stages of the transaction, from working on initial due diligence to reviewing the closing documents. I also had to familiarise myself with the commercial issues facing the automobile industry at the time, such as the competition from electric vehicles and the increased production costs due to the US-China trade war. Commercial law involves gaining a deeper understanding of a client's business sector to provide tailored legal advice. I desire the added challenge of dealing with both commercial and legal issues.
[Feedback: This is a highly relevant example which indicates that the candidate has a good understanding of what a career in commercial law entails. It’s unusual for a candidate to have this kind of experience. Some firms may ask you directly in your application whether the work experience was obtained through a contact or a competitive selection process. If it’s the latter or if you obtained the work experience through your own networking (e.g. by writing to the firm directly), it’s worth mentioning that you obtained the work experience through your own efforts in your application. Otherwise, you risk firms disregarding the experience.
It’s fine to refer to academic study where relevant too. We would wager that the candidate’s analytical ability owes more to their undergraduate degree than to the occasional mooting competition.
The candidate correctly takes the time to explain what it is about commercial law that appeals to him or her. Like the candidate, we agree that commercial law at a top law firm involves tailoring your advice to the commercial circumstances of your client. In our view, this makes it more interesting than the mass-market advice provided by some smaller firms.
The candidate could improve their answer through a stronger structure. We recommend the Point, Evidence, Explanation rubric for answers like this. For example: (1) Point = “commercial lawyers must consider their client’s particular circumstances when providing advice”; (2) Evidence = “I have developed my own commercial awareness through my extracurricular work as Partnerships Lead of my university’s Investment Society where I successfully secured over £20,000 in sponsorship from a variety of law firms, banks and investment funds”; (3) Explanation = “I am keen to continue working alongside commercial stakeholders throughout my career. I believe that this will ensure that my work remains interesting and engaging as I become more senior, challenging me to tailor my advice to the client’s individual needs.”
Final comment is that some of the language is a little odd. “I desire…” is not a common phrase is English. Try to avoid using overly flowery language - the goal is to write clearly and concisely.
I was also tasked with researching case law in across various Commonwealth jurisdictions for a tax litigation case. I found this task highly interesting as it involved understanding the nuances of law in different jurisdictions. Working on large multi-jurisdictional transactions will provide me with the opportunity to directly engage with the latest legal and socio-political developments in even the most remote jurisdictions. Having lived in Malaysia, Japan and the UK the added opportunity this creates to further cultivate my global outlook throughout my career is highly appealing.
[Feedback: While it would have been better for the candidate to refer to a separate work experience example here (particularly any paid part-time work, which demonstrates grind), this is an acceptable conclusion. Law firms like Latham & Watkins want to recruit trainees with an international perspective and worldview. This is not a major selling point and we suspect that the candidate could have found a more convincing reason for wanting to train as a commercial lawyer with a bit of thought, but nonetheless it works well.
There is a typo in the first sentence (“I was also tasked with researching case law in across various…”). You can usually get away with one or two typos if the rest of your answer is strong, but this does betray carelessness and undermines your credibility.]
Why do you want to become a commercial lawyer? (250 words)
A career as a commercial lawyer appeals to me because I enjoy the dynamic nature of commercial work alongside the challenge of fast-changing business climates and legislation. As a pupil at [redacted], I assisted in a tax advisory task relating to the global implementation of the OECDs Base Erosion and Profit Shifting action plans. I analysed the relevant laws and drafted legal advice for a multinational client on its restructuring strategies. This demonstrated to me the importance of analytical skills and strategic planning when advising clients as a commercial solicitor, and also gave me a taste of the satisfaction that can be gained through solving complex problems.
[Feedback: This question is likely to be asked by any major commercial law firm if not as part of their application form, then at some point during the broader process. When constructing an answer to this question, we recommend using point, evidence, explanation/analysis, and link (‘PEEL’) structured paragraphs. In an abstract sense, your answer should look like the following:
Point: you should make a claim about why you want to be a commercial lawyer.
Evidence: you should give some specific and personal proof for your claim.
Explanation/Analysis: you must elaborate on your evidence and tell the recruiter how it demonstrates the validity of your claim.
Link: you need to relate your discussion to the broader question about becoming a commercial lawyer.
Although you may feel that this is overly formulaic, it will ensure that you do not waste the available word count, you go into appropriate detail and answer the question.
The candidate’s first paragraph broadly sticks to this structure. The candidate does well to start their paragraph off with a clear claim about why they want to be a commercial lawyer. You should note how the candidate incorporates the terms of the question in their response – you should do the same to ensure you directly address the question.
The candidate goes on to provide personal evidence for their claim. Crucially, this evidence is unique to the candidate and contains specific details. For example, the candidate does not simply state what their role was; instead, they go into some detail about what they actually did. Ideally, a specific example of what they did would be good to see (for example, the candidate could have mentioned what kind of ‘relevant laws’ they analysed). However, the answer may only be 250 words, so some brevity is required.
Finally, the candidate does well to reflect on what their experience meant for them. The recruiter is looking for a personal answer; hence, your personal reflections are crucial to the success of your application. The recruiter wants to see that you have the necessary introspective ability to understand and learn from your experiences. Furthermore, without your own personal remarks, the recruiter may struggle to determine what exactly you got from the experience or how the experience relates to the question.
To improve this answer, the candidate should have included a stronger link at the end of the paragraph. Although the candidate does provide good point, evidence, and explanation sections, the answer is missing the link section. It would have been good to see the candidate include one final sentence that related their comments about ‘the importance of analytical skills and strategic planning’ and ‘solving complex problems’ back to why they want to be a commercial solicitor. For example, the candidate could have written words to the effect of:
‘Hence, a central reason I want to become a commercial lawyer is the fact that the role involves strategic planning and complex problem-solving, which I have experienced in context and thoroughly enjoyed.’
You should never forget to include a link section in your paragraphs. At the very least, they round off the paragraph nicely and make your answer easy to read for the recruiter. At the very most, they ensure your response stays on track and answers the question, allowing the recruiter to understand your answer correctly.]
Having experienced mini-pupillages and worked in a commercial law firm, I have decided that a career as a commercial solicitor is for me because I thrive in a people-oriented environment with an emphasis on teamwork and collaboration. As a pupil, I have enjoyed high levels of client exposure and working with colleagues to find solutions. For instance, a multinational company sought employment advice on the legal consequences of cancelling agreed merit increases in different countries as part of its cost-cutting measures due to the pandemic. I attended the client meetings, assisted my team in researching the relevant area of employment law, and collaborated with counsel across multiple jurisdictions in advising the client on the best course of action. This experience cemented my motivation to work in a collaborative environment with the opportunity to establish a strong rapport with clients.
[Feedback: This paragraph focuses on the working environment of a commercial solicitor and how that appeals to the candidate. The candidate supports their claim about the career involving a ‘people-oriented environment with an emphasis on teamwork and collaboration’ by citing their work experience in a commercial law firm and being a pupil. The candidate homes in on a specific example concerning their time as a pupil – they use the detailed scenario to evidence further their claim and justify their suitability for the working environment.
Interestingly, the candidate relies heavily on their experience of being a pupil (namely, a trainee barrister). This is a potentially dangerous approach. You must remember that you are applying for a career as a commercial solicitor. Though both barristers and solicitors are lawyers, their roles vary considerably. Hence, whilst having previous (mini) pupillage experience is incredibly valuable and can be leveraged in the application process, you must be very clear (when you first use it as evidence) why you are pursuing a career as a commercial solicitor, not a commercial barrister. Whilst a lack of such an explanation is not fatal to your answer, you should be aware that the recruiter might question your motivations' authenticity.
To improve this answer further, the candidate could have been more specific regarding their example and linked their response to the question. First, it would have been better if the candidate included the names of the chambers or law firms they worked at (including the client’s name would not be appropriate due to confidentiality issues). Second, the candidate should have given some detail concerning what they specifically did as a pupil. For instance, the candidate writes that they ‘assisted my team in researching the relevant area of employment law, and collaborated with counsel’. However, this is overly vague. The candidate should have given some indication of what they did; this could look like, for example:
‘I drafted an internal memorandum, summarising the key points of [insert specific legislation here]’.
You should be as specific as possible when detailing your examples. Whilst the recruiter could put down any vagueness to clunky writing, they could easily think that you are exaggerating or did not really do what you claimed to do. Hence, specific details are not just for flair, instead, they are essential to lend credence to your answer.
Finally, the candidate should have provided a stronger link to the question at the end of their answer. Whilst the candidate explains how their evidence supports their claim, the candidate does not directly address the question. You should note that because the candidate is relying on their evidence as a pupil, their answer does not automatically apply to the question at hand: the question (although it states ‘lawyer’) is referring to being a solicitor (as Latham & Watkins hires trainee solicitors, not trainee barristers). Hence, the candidate should have explicitly related their analysis to their motivations for being a trainee solicitor. This would have also involved some explanation of how their experience evidences their knowledge of what being a solicitor is like as opposed to merely a barrister. This is an example of a danger of relying heavily on work experience that is not directly related to being a (commercial) solicitor.]
Beyond looking for a challenging career, why do you want to be a lawyer? Why do you want to be a lawyer at Mishcon de Reya? (300 words max) *
My interest in a career in law has developed through attending relevant workshops. The most memorable was a negotiation ran by BCLP in November 2017. Acting as the owner and seller of a failing hotel franchise I relished the challenge of applying my problem-solving skills within a commercial law context. My vacation scheme with [UK national / multi-site commercial law firm] in 2019, cemented my interest in becoming a lawyer. From summarising the facts to calculating a likely quantum, I liked working on a case report on the liability of an insurer against an accident at work claim.
[Feedback: Although this paragraph showcases the candidate’s previous engagement with commercial law firms, it does not ultimately elucidate why the candidate wants to be a lawyer. The phrase “relevant workshops” is extremely vague, which means that it adds little to no value to the overall answer. Given the subsequent lack of elaboration, it is difficult to follow the candidate’s train of thought. It is unclear how “[a]cting as the owner and seller of a hotel franchise” in a negotiation workshop motivated them to become a lawyer, as opposed to an entrepreneur or a consultant. Arguably, all of the aforementioned professions involve problem-solving. The candidate leaves the reader to figure out how the law fits into the narrative. Remember that your mission is to convince the reader that you are interested in law, commerce, and – crucially – the intersection between the two. If you only discuss one of the two, you might give the reader the impression that you have not given the question sufficient thought, that you do not know what the career involves and/or that you might be more suited to a different path (e.g., an insurance lawyer or a business consultant).
We would have liked to see a more in-depth discussion of the candidate’s previous vacation scheme because the fact that they have relevant legal work experience already sets them apart from numerous other candidates. Unfortunately, they do not quite manage to use said work experience to their advantage. They merely state that the scheme cemented their interest in becoming a lawyer without explaining how that happened. Enjoying a particular piece of work does not serve to show one’s motivation for choosing a career path. You might enjoy working on case reports, but you might dread researching a niche area of the law or trailing through documents in a due diligence exercise. This is exactly why you need to step back and take a look at the “bigger picture” of a career in commercial law. What general characteristics of the career most appeal to you? What specific examples can you provide in support of your answer?
On a different note, the question specifically directs candidates away from the overly used point regarding the challenging nature of a career in commercial law (“Beyond looking for a challenging career…”). The candidate misses this cue (“I relished the challenge…). Remember to read the questions/ prompts in an application form carefully and to tailor your answer to the specific demands thereof. Think twice before copying and pasting generic answers from one application form to another.
Note: incorrectly used comma at “[m]y vacation scheme […], cemented”.
I initially became interested in Mishcon for its consistent Legal 500 ranking in Competition Litigation. During my LLM, I enjoyed applying my analytical skills when completing a 10,000-word practice project on a merger between two Internet of Things companies. I acted as legal counsel writing a memorandum to the Director-General for Competition. The project furthered my interest in not only Competition, but also Corporate and M&A. Completing a vacation scheme at Mishcon, a firm that consistently ranks well in these areas, will allow me to gain practical experience in these areas.
[Feedback: Although the candidate does well to share a personal insight to justify their interest in a particular practice area, they do not paint a sufficiently clear picture of said insight to the reader. It is unclear whether the candidate was acting as legal counsel for one of the companies or for a competition authority. It is also unclear what the purpose of their memorandum was and who the “Director-General for Competition” was. Crucially, the candidate fails to explain how the project cultivated to their interest in competition law (or “Corporate and M&A” for that matter). The reader is left to make too many assumptions. At the same time, the underlying point regarding the firm is generic and, therefore, weak. Most commercial law firms, including Mishcon and its competitors, are ranked well by the Legal 500 in a myriad of areas.
On a separate note, M&A is a sub-category of Corporate, which means that the phrase “Corporate and M&A” is redundant. Be mindful of the terms you use to describe particular types of work undertaken by law firms. Before sending off an application, consult the firms’ websites, as well as resources like Chambers Student to ensure that you are using the right terms.
Note: repetition of “these areas” in the last sentence.
Mishcon’s drive for quality permeates down to its training and development. Specifically, the Academy, of which I gained a deeper understanding from Patrick Connolly at the November 2020 Open Day. The courses and talks offered through the four strands of the Learning Centre ensure that trainees are receiving sustained support to become competent future-facing legal advisors. After attending several training sessions with support workers, as a receptionist at Shelter, I was selected to become an advisor. I enjoyed the responsibility of seeing clients and supporting them on their enquiries. So, the emphasis Mishcon puts into the development of its lawyers resonates with my own desire to continue this exposure to building and maintaining long-lasting relationships.
[Feedback: This paragraph is effective because the candidate identifies one of the firm’s unique selling points (USPs), draws on a personal insight to justify their interest therein, and manages to weave in their attendance at an open day hosted by the firm. We would have included a brief explanation regarding Shelter (e.g., “Shelter, a housing and homelessness charity…”) and the advisor role (“I was selected to become an advisor; the role involved X, Y and Z.”) to avoid any confusion on the part of the reader. Granted, the candidate may have included this information in a different part of the application form, but it is generally good practice to refresh the reader’s memory when answering the main questions/ prompts on the form.
Note: the second sentence does not make grammatical sense.
Please outline the reasons why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law at Osborne Clarke. Within your answer you should also include details of how you have developed your skills through your hobbies and interests. (500 words max)*
Taking part in the two-year Pathways to Law scheme at the University of Oxford first persuaded me to pursue a career in commercial law. Through various workshops and networking events, I developed a greater understanding of the law and the different areas within it. I found that I was most drawn in by commercial law because of its fast pace and the variety of work that is available. I enjoyed considering the potential issues a client in commercial law may come across and contemplating ways to solve these problems.
Feedback: The candidate creates a clear-cut, easy-to-follow narrative that highlights their journey into commercial law and explains their inclination towards the field. They could have provided more details regarding the scheme, given that it was the event that sparked their interest in commercial law, and they could have dedicated more of the word count to discussing the aspects of commercial law that appeal to them (i.e., the fast-paced nature of the work, the variety of the work, and the ample room for problem-solving) to ensure that their answer is not vague or applicable to any number of fields. To ensure that their answer is as comprehensive as possible, the candidate could have also outlined their reasons for wishing to pursue a career in commercial law at Osborne Clarke, since the first part of the prompt explicitly includes the name of the firm.
One essential skill to be a successful commercial lawyer is an acute sense of commercial awareness. Having worked for local businesses such as cafes and restaurants, I have been subject to environments focused on profit-making and staying ahead of competition in a saturated market. This was particularly evident when a competitor opened in the local area and new schemes had to be put in place to retain customers.
Commercial lawyers must also be great team players to be able to work with those in their team as well as clients or an opposing legal team. Having played in numerous sports teams and worked with many people in various jobs I can work extremely well in a team with strong interpersonal skills. At university I volunteered for [redacted university] Nightline, a listening service for students, working 13-hour night shifts. Through extensive training and taking calls on serious and sensitive topics I learned how listening is fundamental to solving problems and that empathy is essential to adapt to the situation. I also learned the importance of supporting my peers but also being able to ask for support when I need it.
As a fast-paced and demanding career, it is essential to be able to deal with high pressure situations and have the determination to get the best results for your clients. My time at university developed my ability to deal with pressure as I had to balance my time for all my commitments. I joined both the korfball and netball teams where I enjoyed training and competing with my teammates. In addition to volunteering for [redacted university] Nightline I also took part in as many society events as I could. As a result, I was extremely proud to enjoy these experiences while keeping up with my work to achieve a first class honours. I believe this evidences my organisation skills and my willingness to get involved.
Recently at [redacted national law firm] LLP, I have taken on the responsibility of writing a newsletter each month for the London office at the firm. This has developed my interpersonal skills as it requires obtaining updates from each department in the office to find out recent news and time management skills as I need to fit this in around my work. This has enhanced my awareness of the different areas of law and the types of clients and deals involved. This knowledge is crucial for an international firm like Osborne Clarke where clients have a range of different business backgrounds.
Feedback: Although the second part of the prompt does not direct candidates to discuss a given kind of skills, we would recommend that you focus on skills that are related or relevant to the pursuit of a career in commercial law, as the candidate does in this case, in light of the first part of the prompt. In terms of choosing which skills to focus on, we would also recommend that you consult Osborne Clarke’s website and/or recruitment materials to familiarise yourself with the skill set that the firm looks for in candidates. At the same time, we would advise against illustrating your skills with examples related to your previous work experience or your academic experience, as the candidate does in this case, because the prompt explicitly directs candidates to focus on their hobbies and interests; working and studying do not readily fall under that category. We would also advise against repeating the same example to illustrate multiple skills, as the candidate does in this case.
Nonetheless, the candidate correctly identifies a number of skills that are relevant to the pursuit of a career in commercial law and that are invoked by Osborne Clarke in their recruitment materials, including commercial awareness, teamwork, working well under pressure, time management, and communication. At the same time, the candidate shares personal insights in support of their claim that they have acquired and developed those skills in a reasonably persuasive manner by following the elements of the “PEEL” structure (“point”, “evidence”, “explanation”, “link”).
Please outline the reasons why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law at Osborne Clarke. Within your answer you should also include details of how you have developed your interest in the profession through your non-academic experiences. (300 words)
During my vacation scheme at [redacted mid-Atlantic law firm], I developed my interest in understanding how global markets function across various industries, and how client's goods and services fit into the wider market. This wide spectrum of work is intellectually stimulating and deepened my appreciation for problem-solving and thinking innovatively, thus drawing me to the profession.
Feedback: The aim of this first paragraph is good as it addresses the first key aspect of the question: why commercial law. In a multi-faceted question like this with a tight word count, we recommend providing no more than 1-2 detailed reasons why you have chosen commercial law in general. This leaves you plenty of space to discuss your specific interest in Osborne Clarke.
However, the candidate’s reasoning for commercial law is not convincing enough. The candidate simply asserts that they are interested in how global markets function and how clients’ goods/services fit into this. This reason is not specific to commercial law. Indeed, it could be applied to any profession within business/consulting. As a rule, if you can replace “commercial law” with any other business/finance/consulting career path, then your reasoning is not specific enough to commercial law. To paraphrase the candidate’s application as an example:
● “I am interested in commercial law because I can see how global markets function across various industries”.
This could easily be replaced with:
● “I am interested in investment banking because I can see how global markets function across various industries”.
As such, the candidate’s reasoning is not specific enough. It could easily be copied + pasted into an application to a Big Four accounting firm, a hedge fund and so on.
We would also add that you need to develop every personal example and link it back to your motivations for the firm. Here, the candidate asserts that they attended a vacation scheme but we are not told what they did or how it developed their interest in commercial law. To avoid this issue, we recommend using the PEEL/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link) in all motivational questions. You should start by concisely stating your motivational point. Then, you should offer specific and detailed examples where you developed this interest. Next, you should explain/analyse the example in detail. Finally, you should link your explanations/evidence back to the overarching point.
Also, the candidate slips up by spelling clients’ as “client’s”. You should stamp out minor punctuation mistakes like this so as to reduce the risk that recruiters automatically reject you.
I am attracted to the firm’s strength in its multidisciplinary approach and expertise in a variety of sectors, which I would like to gain exposure to. This is evidenced by the firm’s Tier 1 dispute resolution and venture capital practices. I find this appealing as I want to experience a range of practice areas to make a well-informed decision upon qualification. Moreover, having a venture capital-specific practice is rather niche and rare to find in other firms. This is an area that I have always wanted to gain exposure to as my experience in the Creative Cycle project fostered my entrepreneurial spirit and spurred my interest to help clients at various stages of their business lifecycle meet their strategic objective.
Feedback: The candidate does well to dive straight into their interest in Osborne Clarke. For “why firm?” questions, we recommend that you make 2-3 in-depth points (depending on word count) that deal with the following in descending priority order: work, training and culture. Points about the firm’s culture always take lowest priority and should be cut first if you are struggling with word counts. This is because you will not convince recruiters that you understand the firm’s day-to-day culture unless you have spent a meaningful amount of time working there (say, as a paralegal).
You should note how the candidate adopts the PEEL structure reasonably well here. The candidate leads their paragraph by concisely stating a point, namely that they are attracted to the firm’s multidisciplinary strengths. Then, the candidate demonstrates a decent level of research by stating that the firm has Tier 1 strengths in dispute resolution and venture capital practices. You should note that you should always back up your points with specific and detailed evidence about the firm, using numbers and statistics wherever you can. This demonstrates a high level of research and wider interest in the firm to the recruiter.
The first issue with this paragraph is that the candidate’s central point is not tailored to Osborne Clarke. While it is true that Osborne Clarke has multidisciplinary strengths, the same can be said for nearly every major law firm in the City. As a rule, your reason is not specific enough to the firm if you can swap out the firm’s name for any other in the city. For example, the candidate’s first sentence could easily swap out “the firm’s strength in its multidisciplinary approach” with “BCLP’s/Irwin Mitchell’s/Eversheds’ strengths in its multidisciplinary approach”. The firm’s Tier 1 strengths in disputes and venture capital also does not demonstrate a high enough level of research – there will be many firms with the same Tier 1 strengths. As such, the candidate should have identified a specific aspect of Osborne Clarke (for instance its venture capital strengths) and explained why Osborne Clarke’s work in this area appeals to them.
The candidate’s example also requires further development. The candidate asserts that the “Creative Cycle project” spurred their interest in commercial law but we are given no context about this project, nor any explanation as to why it spurred their interest in Osborne Clarke’s venture capital/disputes practice. It is not clear how this example relates back to the candidate’s point about Osborne Clarke’s multidisciplinary strengths. Though we sympathise with limited word counts, you should always provide some context to your examples and tie them back in with your initial point.
I am attracted to Osborne Clarke’s unparalleled innovation culture, as reflected by Osborne Clarke Ventures, Osborne Clarke Solutions, and the People Platform. By constantly developing innovative initiatives to keep up with novel trends in different markets, the firm shows that it is genuinely committed to adding value to its clients. Having enjoyed studying IT Law, I am keen to observe this intersection between law and technology at Osborne Clarke.
Feedback: The candidate again does well to lead straight into their point, namely that they are attracted to Osborne Clarke’s innovation culture. The candidate also develops their point by naming key examples of Osborne Clarke’s initiatives. This demonstrates a decent level of research and also helps the candidate tailor their point.
However, this paragraph requires improvement in two ways. Firstly, the candidate does not demonstrate any understanding of what these initiatives involved or how they have helped Osborne Clarke “keep up with novel trends in different markets”/”add value to clients”. The candidate should have developed the point further by providing statistics, numbers and/or examples demonstrating how Osborne Clarke’s innovations have improved its profitability as a business. Secondly, the candidate does not explain how their IT Law studies ignited their interest in innovation or how that links back to their interest in the firm. Had the candidate made space (perhaps by cutting the below paragraph), then they could have developed their personal example further.
Osborne Clarke’s genuinely friendly and supportive culture appeals to me. My encounters with the firm’s trainees and associates, including Emily Flitterman, have been highly welcoming. They all spoke highly of the firm’s open-door policy. Having lived in Singapore, Hong Kong and the UK, I value being immersed in a diverse and inclusive setting like Osborne Clarke.
Feedback: This paragraph is the weakest and could have been cut altogether. As a rule, we advise that you avoid making points about the firm’s culture unless you have spent a prolonged period of time working at the firm. The bare minimum is that you should have attended an open day as this candidate has done.
The candidate does well to highlight both their attendance at the open day and to mention a specific detail they learned from it (namely the open-door policy). This demonstrates a good level of commitment to Osborne Clarke. That said, the paragraph suffers several flaws:
The candidate’s central point is not tailored sufficiently to Osborne Clarke. Most firms will market themselves at open days as “genuinely friendly and supportive” - no firm representative will ever tell you that the firm is a horrible place to work at.
The candidate makes a disparate point about Osborne Clarke being “diverse and inclusive”. However, it is not clear how the candidate learned this from the open day. The candidate also does not develop this point with any specific statistics or examples. Furthermore, the point suffers the same flaw as the previous in that it is not tailored – nearly all major law firms will market themselves as diverse and inclusive.
The candidate’s personal example is underdeveloped. It is not self-explanatory how the candidate’s time in Hong Kong/Singapore/UK made diversity and inclusion important to them.
Given the tight word count, this paragraph could have been cut altogether so that the candidate could develop the previous two paragraphs.
Please outline the reasons why you wish to pursue a career in commercial law at Osborne Clarke. 250. 244
I enjoy serving corporate clients. Assisting companies and PE firms with commercial due diligence for taught me the value of uncompromising client service, especially in the fast-paced environment of live transactions where clients require timely updates and advice on next steps. Commercial awareness was essential; I had to quickly grasp the fundamentals of new industries with each project. I am interested in the emphasis which Osborne Clarke places on deep sector expertise and strategic thinking in order to provide optimal legal advice.
Feedback: The candidate makes reasonably good use of personalised evidence in this paragraph. You should note how the candidate draws upon examples from their work experience in commercial due diligence. Then, the candidate drills down on (1) what they learned from this experience and (2) briefly how this developed their interest in the point (namely that they “enjoy serving corporate clients”. In your own writing, you should back up your points with specific evidence and personal examples. In turn, these will help you demonstrate that you have a concrete interest in Osborne Clarke backed up by strong, objective evidence.
However, this paragraph does not truly answer the question. First, the candidate leads in with a generic point. They assert that they are interested in “serving corporate clients”, but this is not a unique feature of Osborne Clarke – all commercial law firms serve corporate clients by definition! It is not even a unique feature of commercial law. You will serve corporate clients in a vast array of career paths, not just in commercial law. In turn, it is not clear how the candidate’s central point demonstrates their interest in Osborne Clarke. This is not a general “why commercial law?” question. It is a “Why Osborne Clarke?” question. As such, you need to make sure that each paragraph addresses your interest in Osborne Clarke. You should set out 2-3 PEEL/AL-structured paragraphs (point, evidence, explanation/analysis link), which each demonstrate your interest in Osborne Clarke’s work and training.
Secondly, the candidate’s writing at the end is not tailored enough. The candidate asserts an interest in Osborne Clarke’s “deep sector expertise” and “strategic thinking”. Not only are these statements vague and generic, but they are not unique features of Osborne Clarke. As a commercial client, you would hope that all law firms have sector expertise and think strategically. These are not unique features of Osborne Clarke. In turn, this paragraph does not do much to demonstrate the candidate’s interest in Osborne Clarke. As a rule, your writing is not tailored enough if you can swap out your chosen law firm’s name with any other firm in the City.
Whilst I enjoyed working on transactions across a range of sectors and regions, I am drawn to the higher level of analytical rigour needed in commercial law. My internships at a leading commercial chambers in London and at a German court have affirmed this. Performing complex research and legal drafting, I found that my undergraduate degree had helped me to develop relevant skills, such as the ability to evaluate information from multiple sources, form detailed arguments and present them effectively. I am keen to combine my client service experience and commercial mindset with my analytical and reasoning skills to solve complex issues for companies.
Feedback: This time, the candidate leads in with a point that is better-tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts that they are not only interested in transactions spanning across sectors/regions, but they also assert an interest in the unique legal rigour involved in this career path. Furthermore, the candidate makes good use of personal evidence and examples in this paragraph. The candidate identifies a specific personal experience, before explaining precisely what interested them about this and why their experience in London chambers/German courts developed their interest in commercial law. In turn, this convinces the recruiter that the candidate has a sustained interest in commercial law that has grown out of their legal experiences in London and Germany.
However, this paragraph somewhat misunderstands the question. It focuses entirely on the candidate’s general interest in commercial law, without ever explaining why the candidate wants to work for Osborne Clarke specifically. We are mindful that this question is worded in a confusing manner, in that it mentions both commercial law and Osborne Clarke. However, we believe this question only calls for discussion of your interest in Osborne Clarke specifically. As such, the candidate would have needed to explain a specific feature of Osborne Clarke before analysing how their personal experiences/examples back up their interest in that feature.
I am also attracted by Osborne Clarke’s focus on innovation. The firm’s development of a bespoke online platform for Vodafone exemplifies this forward-thinking approach. Working at an innovative firm would allow me to develop the skills necessary to succeed in a rapidly changing landscape as regards the delivery of legal services
Feedback: This paragraph also shows some improvement on the first one. This time, the candidate leads in by identifying a feature of Osborne Clarke that interests them specifically. Then, the candidate develops this point by drawing on a specific example from Osborne Clarke’s work. They use the Vodafone example in an attempt to tailor their writing and make it more specific to Osborne Clarke. In your own writing, you should develop your initial point by including specific research and examples. These should illustrate why that point is unique to Osborne Clarke. In turn, this will tailor your writing and demonstrate that you have thought seriously about a career at Osborne Clarke.
However, the candidate’s writing is still not quite tailored enough. The candidate identifies a bespoke online platform developed by Osborne Clarke, but does not go further in explaining (1) what this platform involved nor (2) how that makes Osborne Clarke a uniquely innovative firm. Indeed, Osborne Clarke is not the only firm to have developed online platforms. Many City firms now have bespoke legal technology strategies complete with unique innovation platforms. As such, the candidate’s writing needs to go further in tailoring the point to Osborne Clarke.
Furthermore, the candidate does not sufficiently explain their personal interest in this point. The candidate asserts that it would help them “develop the skills necessary to succeed”, but they never explain (1) why this specifically interests them nor (2) how their personal experiences developed their interest in Osborne Clarke’s innovation/technology. In turn, this means that the candidate’s writing is underdeveloped. It is not clear precisely why Osborne Clarke’s innovative strategy appeals to the candidate. In your own writing, you need to back up your writing with specific evidence and personal examples. This will demonstrate that you have an authentic, sustained interest in Osborne Clarke.
Please explain why you have decided to pursue a career in commercial law. (Max 4000 characters including spaces)
The summer I spent as a legal assistant at [redacted company], a commercial law firm in Vancouver, led me to pursue a career as a commercial solicitor. Whilst working alongside partners, I was particularly attracted to the role of a commercial solicitor as someone who acquires an expertise in clients, their industries, and the economy in order to anticipate issues facing their clients and address them accordingly.
[Feedback: The opening to this answer is not bad and is a good attempt to answer this kind of question with an example. The candidate mentions a specific example and briefly outlines what about that example inspired their motivation to be a commercial solicitor.
Nevertheless, this is an unconventional structure for an answer to a ‘why commercial law?’ question. What we would typically recommend for an answer of this length (about 500 words) is for candidates to have three clear points about why the career attracts them (and write about such points in a PEE/AL format). For example, three generic points (not necessarily the ones we recommend picking) may be:
1. The career’s intellectual challenge.
2. The opportunity to become a cross-industry specialist.
3. The work’s client-focus.
However, you should note that these motivating points must be specific to a career in commercial law. If your points can apply to another corporate job, such as investment banking or consultancy, then your points are either not specific enough or lack development. Hence, when the candidate writes that a career in commercial law is attractive as it allows the development of ‘an expertise in clients, their industries, and the economy in order to anticipate issues facing their clients and address them accordingly’, this is not specific enough as it can easily apply to a career in consulting.]
I learned firsthand the importance of this when I was tasked with completing an industry report for a partner in anticipation for a client-relationship meeting. The focus of the report was to assess the political and economic tides of British Columbia's hydro-electric industry, including the likelihood of a major dam project being approved by the provincial government that would directly affect the clients business. I scheduled and conducted interviews with government officials, academics and other industry players, which provided me with excellent insight which I included in my report and relayed to the partner. I developed a sound understanding of the industry through my research and put forth a quality-sourced report that afforded the partner and client a clearer outlook on the steps ahead.
[Feedback: First, as you are applying to law firms in the U.K. be sure to use British English when writing your applications. Here, the candidate writes ‘firsthand’ – technically, this is a correct spelling of the word but only in American English. In British English it should be ‘first-hand’. Whilst we strongly recommend writing in British English, if you must write in American English, make sure that your spelling is consistent. Second, the word ‘hydro-electric’ does not need to be hyphenated. Third, the candidate has made the same mistake and missed the apostrophe in ‘clients business’. Remember, your spelling and grammar must be perfect to ensure that your application is judged purely on its content. If you make mistakes, it is not the end of the world; however, it can lead to your application being rejected.
Aside from the spelling and grammatical issues, this paragraph is relatively strong foundation for a good answer. The candidate discusses in decent detail the work they did and, in broad terms, what they got out of the position. Nevertheless, two main points of improvement include (1) increasing the level of detail in the answer, (2) linking the paragraph back to the candidate’s motivation for a career in commercial law. The first point is similar to the comments we have made before, so this comment will focus on the latter point of improvement.
Each paragraph should be written in a PEE/AL format. In this case, the structure would be:
1. A point about the career and why it attracts you to it.
2. Your evidence for that point, namely, what real experience do you have that substantiates your claim of the point?
3. You need to explain/analyse how the evidence substantiates your point.
4. Finally, you need to link your paragraph back to its original point, making your point the stimulus and conclusion of the section. Note, this is why it is crucial that your point is clear and directly answers the question.
What this paragraph is missing is a clear point and a clear link. Whilst the candidate has made a good attempt to discuss their work experience, this paragraph has not been related back to a career in commercial law, nor has an angle been established which makes it clear how this paragraph will be related back to the candidate’s commercial law motivations.]
Being commended for my work was satisfying, but it was seeing the direction the client took in light of this report that was most exciting. The client not only protected itself against the economic ramifications of this project which I correctly predicted would be approved but also pursued opportunities that I highlighted as stemming directly and indirectly from the presence of the dam in the region. I learned that I enjoy assisting businesses in achieving a competitive edge. Witnessing my work pay dividends for this particular client is something that continues to motivate me in my pursuit of a career in commercial law.
[Feedback:This paragraph serves as the ‘link’ for the preceding paragraph. The candidate identifies what they enjoyed about their commercial law experience, namely, the work’s client-focus and seeing the tangible impact of their efforts. Both of these qualities are certainly present in the career and have been correctly identified.
As an aside, the candidate makes repeated mistakes with double spacing. You can easily avoid this in your applications by writing out your answers in full in a Word/Pages document and then using Ctrl+F/Cmd+F and typing in a double space to find if you have made the same error anywhere in your answers.
However, the main point of improvement pertains to the ‘link’. Whilst the candidate has correctly identified some key features of the career, they have not adequately fleshed them out. The candidate has discussed, at length, their creation of a report and the impact this had on the client. Yet, the candidate has not discussed why they enjoy assisting businesses or why witnessing their work pay dividends for a client is an attractive quality of the career.
To test whether you have ‘finished’ your paragraphs, ask yourself to justify your last sentence with another sentence. Now, justify that new sentence. Repeat the process but stop when it gets absurd. Now see if you can make those sentences more concise or weave them into the latter half of your paragraphs (to ensure concision and cohesion).]
As a life-long competitor in sports, I also naturally find myself drawn to the competition in commerce and the continuous drive to achieve a competitive advantage in the marketplace. Preparation and strategic thinking are equally important to an athlete as they are to a commercial lawyer running a business and serving clients. Having won multiple championships in both Canada and the UK as an athlete, I know what it takes to be successful. As Vice-Captain of The University of Warwick Men's Lacrosse Team, this year's BUCS Champions, part of my role is to identify and address these same points as it relates to my teammates and the opposition.
[Feedback: The candidate now pivots to a discussion of their extra-curricular activities to justify their motivations for a career in commercial law. This can often be a creative way of demonstrating one’s attraction for a certain characteristic of the work a commercial solicitor undertakes.
Broadly speaking, this paragraph is quite good. The candidate demonstrates a clear connection between the skills required in their sport and a career in commercial law. A minor point of improvement pertains to the last sentence of the paragraph: to improve clarity, it would have been better for the candidate to put ‘this year's BUCS Champions’ in brackets.
The only other point of improvement is that this is quite a lengthy set-up to the next section of the candidate’s answer. As the candidate has already discussed their lacrosse experience in a previous question, this paragraph could be cut down to a couple of short sentences which establish the link between the activity and the career. Once again, we recommend sticking to a PEE/AL format to ensure you do not stray too far from the question.]
For instance, myself and our Captain spend a great deal of time trying to find information on our opponents in anticipation for matches. Through contacts with players on other teams, referees and occasionally travelling to other matches to scout opponents we try to determine the weaknesses of other teams. Our recipe for success has always been to maximise our strengths and exploit qualities of our opponents where they are weak. This also requires us being honest about our own weaknesses and addressing them repetitively in training in order to ensure we are ready for all kinds of situations and opponents. This preparation and foresight is not dissimilar to the role of a commercial solicitor acting for his or her clients. Therefore, I believe that I am naturally attuned to a career in commercial law and look forward to putting my experiences into practice as a commercial solicitor.
[Feedback: This serves as an extensive discussion about the candidate’s lacrosse experience with very little in the way of justifying a career in commercial law. Whilst the paragraph is certainly an entertaining read, it does not properly address the question at hand. Furthermore, the tone employed in this section is a little too dramatic. We do try and stay away from stylistic comments but be aware that using phrases like ‘exploit qualities of our opponents where they are weak’ are overzealous and portray a more negative image than one might want. Law firms are not just judging your spelling and grammar but also your professional judgement and tone.
The link to commercial law lies in the last two sentences of the paragraph. The candidate asserts a link between the ‘preparation and foresight’ of their sporting experience and that they are ‘naturally attuned’ to the career. This link is valid, but not particularly strong. These two assertions could be applied to any corporate career. To improve on this answer, we would recommend that the candidate spend more time discussing the career itself, using their evidence sparingly to substantiate their claims when appropriate, rather than leading with their personal experiences.]
Why have you chosen a career in commercial law?
My interest in commercial law developed during an internship at [redacted], a leading commercial law firm in [redacted country], where I researched the effects of the [redacted country] economic climate on M&A transactions. I discovered that the low business confidence in the country, especially due to the fall in world oil prices, greatly affected the number of M&A transactions initiated. I compared my findings with other jurisdictions and made predictions about the effect these findings will have on the firm as a top M&A law firm. I suggested that the firm should adapt to the situation by prioritising its international work in order to meet its revenue goal. I enjoyed this research as it demonstrated that commercial lawyers often have to look at issues in both domestic and international contexts and continually look for ways to adapt to changes in the market. Thus, my motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law, especially at Reed Smith, is the prospect of supporting clients on complex projects at the forefront of global issues.
Completing a vacation scheme at Norton Rose Fulbright confirmed my interest in commercial law. During the scheme, I sat in the Project Finance Department with a focus on Energy, Infrastructure and Natural Resources and I worked with my supervisor on a construction project in Malawi. I carried out several tasks for him, which exposed me to the complexities involved with construction projects in emerging economies. For example, I discovered the importance of placing the design risk on the construction company in Engineering, Procurement and Construction contracts which involve emerging markets to protect clients from future liability, given the unpredictability of projects in these economies. This piqued my interest as it demonstrated that commercial lawyers often have to anticipate their clients’ problems and deliver tailored solutions to them.
[Feedback: This is another very strong answer. The structure is on point, the evidence is relevant and convincing and the writing is quite good. The first paragraph shows off legal work experience with commercial awareness (e.g. oil prices / law firm revenues). It even adds a nice touch by adding that commercial law is especially appealing at Reed Smith. The second paragraph begins by referencing the Norton Rose vac scheme, a great way to demonstrate (i) you have legal work experience and (ii) that another reputable law firm considered you a worthy applicant. The (ii) point is key and if you ever complete vacation schemes you should play them up in subsequent applications. Both paragraphs tie the examples back to the question effectively in their respective final sentences
Improvement points are that the sentence on “design risk on the construction company” is a little technical and should be expanded upon to be made clearer and more understandable for graduate recruitment who would review this application. “look” is also repeated in one sentence.]
Why have you decided to pursue a career in Commercial Law? Max 250 words
As an individual who appreciates a fast-paced lifestyle, commercial law appealed to my passion for navigating the complex landscape of business transactions, contrary to alternative legal sectors. During my Reed Smith placement, I valued the sector’s unique intersection of legal and business expertise, allowing me to assist clients in making informed decisions to achieve their strategic goals. Consequently, I appreciated the sector’s ability to foster self-growth as I enjoyed developing stress-management techniques in high-pressure situations, like catering to unprecedented court deadlines. Unlike the immigration sector, the flexible nature of commercial law according to turbulent economic climates per Reed Smith’s recent ‘Energy Explored’ podcast, appealed to my commercial interests and desire for continuous learning. I was particularly fascinated by learning how businesses navigate emission cuts whilst working towards a carbon-neutral global economy.
Feedback: The candidate does reasonably well to explain their motivation in commercial law, namely by highlighting how the fast-paced environment aligns with their personal interests and lifestyle. The candidate does so by adopting the PEEL structure throughout the paragraph. You should note how the candidate states their point succinctly at the beginning, before drawing upon their personal experience at Reed Smith’s placement (together with their takeaways from the podcast) to support their point. By drawing upon specific experiences with Reed Smith, the candidate demonstrates a sustained and authentic interest in the firm.
That said, the candidate’s reasoning needs to be better-tailored at times. First, the candidate mentions immigration law as a comparison but never explains it any further. Secondly, the candidate asserts an interest in helping clients to make informed strategic decisions. However, this is not a unique feature of commercial law. Many other industries in the City (e.g. consulting) seek this objective. Instead, the candidate should have focused specifically on how commercial lawyers help clients achieve their commercial objectives.
Additionally, my natural strengths in analysis are optimally suited to commercial practice, particularly in reviewing opposing parties’ counter-arguments to identify available solutions. Further, my 'problem and solution' based approach compliments commercial lawyers’ need to interpret and apply intricate legal frameworks to business scenarios whilst considering clients’ needs to uphold Reed Smith’s client satisfaction core value. Moreover, my perfectionist work ethic also drives me to ensure my work reflects my meticulous attention to detail, which is suited to identifying errors in NDAs and reviewing correspondence during disclosure.
Feedback: The candidate picks out a useful legal skill (i.e. critical thinking/analytical skills) and explains how that aligns with the demands of commercial law. In mentioning specific tasks (such as NDAs and handling disclosure correspondence), the candidate demonstrates at least a high-level understanding of the practicalities of commercial law. The candidate’s reference to Reed Smith’s core values also demonstrates some high-level understanding of the firm’s objectives. That said, the candidate does not provide concrete examples in support of their asserted analytical skills. The candidate asserts that they are naturally analytical (and that they are a supposed “perfectionist”) but offers nothing in the way of evidence. Instead, the candidate should have persuaded the recruiter of their skills by reference to a specific achievement.
In essence, the commercial law sector provides an opportunity to continually challenge me and foster self-growth whilst Reed Smith's inclusive culture and supportive environment can leverage turning my ambitions into a sustainable career.
Feedback: This concluding paragraph draws a nice tie back to the candidate’s initial interest in commercial law. That said, it is not necessary to write a concluding paragraph within these kinds of answers. Had the candidate cut this out, they could have freed up valuable words to use elsewhere.
Describe why a career in commercial law appeals to you. What skills do you think are needed to be a successful commercial lawyer? (300 words max) *
Commercial law appeals to me because of how integral lawyers are in the complexities of business. Law firms enable businesses that drive the markets to operate. They are responsible for managing simple matters, such as writing up employment contracts, and more complex ones, such as facilitating corporate transactions. My interest stems from shadowing the General Counsel at the financial services company [redacted company] in 2018. I enjoyed accumulating an in-depth knowledge of the company’s activities and the market and industry in which it functions. Assisting with drafting a new GDPR-compliant privacy policy highlighted how heavily the company relies on the legal department for its effective operation.
Feedback: This looks to be a strong first paragraph. The candidate uses the PEEL/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation, link) particularly well. First, the candidate states a tailored point demonstrating that they have thought carefully about this career path. The candidate then develops the point by talking about the roles of lawyers in drafting contracts and facilitating deals. This tailors the candidate’s reasoning towards commercial law, whilst also eliminating any doubts about their interest in this specific path (as opposed to any other in the City). Then, the candidate deploys a specific and relevant personal example from their time shadowing a commercial lawyer. Finally, the candidate explains precisely what interested them about this experience and how that ties in with their wider interest in commercial law. This results in a coherent, well-argued paragraph that is easy for the recruiter to follow and be persuaded by.
You should note how the candidate centres their analysis on specific, personalised and high-quality personal evidence. They deploy an example from their work experience, before explaining precisely what interested them about it. Then, the candidate concludes by linking their experience drafting a GDPR policy back in with their wider interest in commercial law. Your analysis should follow the same path. You must back up any motivational points with specific, personalised evidence that demonstrates your sustained interest in commercial law.
One point for improvement is that the candidate’s analysis should be tighter in places. For instance, the candidate claims that they enjoyed “accumulating in-depth knowledge of the company’s activities” and the “market” accompanying it. These features are not specific to commercial law. You would need to accumulate said knowledge in nearly any business career path, not least the career paths on offer in the City (such as consulting). As such, this aspect of the candidate’s reasoning is not specific enough to commercial law. In your own writing, you should make sure your logic is specific and tailored to commercial law. If your argument can be just as easily applied to another career path, then it isn’t precise enough.
Crucial skills include communication, negotiation, and creative thinking. For example, with less time to dedicate to Citizens Advice this year, I made my supervisor aware of my revised circumstances. Subsequently, I liaised with her to devise a more flexible framework that would allow me to continue offering my services. I now respond to client emails unsupervised whenever I have free time – an unconventional system for my office. Balancing this volunteering commitment with the PGDL and part-time waitressing also requires good organisation.
Feedback: The candidate now moves on towards explaining the skills they need to succeed in commercial law. Unusually, the candidate spends 2/3 of the answer on this skills section (whereas we would typically recommend a 50/50 split). This results in a slightly uneven answer that focuses too heavily on the skills, whilst not getting into enough detail about the candidate’s motivations for commercial law. Ideally, the candidate would identify two reasons for their interest in commercial law followed by two key skills they think are relevant.
If we give the candidate the benefit of the doubt, this looks to be a good first paragraph. The candidate identifies some key skills from the outset. Then, the candidate deploys a specific and personalised example from their experience at Citizens Advice. The candidate provides some insight into how they communicated with their supervisor and devised a flexible solution to continue their work. You should also note how the candidate focuses on showing their skills, rather than merely listing them out. The recruiter can freely interpret the candidate’s negotiation and communication skills from the steps described.
However, this paragraph is somewhat unfocused. At the end, the candidate shoehorns in references to the PGDL and waitressing before briefly asserting that this “required good organisation”. The candidate never explains precisely how they managed their time, nor do they ever give insight into how they organised their schedule to keep track of these various commitments. This is not self-explanatory. As such, the final sentence contributes little to the candidate’s answer. The candidate should either have (1) cut this out or (2) devoted a separate paragraph to this point so they could analyse it in more detail. We advise that you stick to no more than 1 point per paragraph, so you can avoid issues like this.
Moreover, advising clients experiencing difficult circumstances at Citizens Advice, I must be able to connect on a more human level with the client. This has allowed me to develop my emotional intelligence, which is valuable in a people-focused profession. Participating in team sports has further strengthened my interpersonal skills.
Feedback: This has the potential to be a good paragraph, but it is weaker because it lacks detail. The candidate deploys a good example, but they do not go much further in explaining it. For instance, the candidate asserts that they “advised clients experiencing difficult circumstances” and that this helped them “connect with the client on a human level”. However, the candidate does not offer any specific evidence or detailed examples in support of this point. The candidate also does not identify any specific steps they took to help clients dealing with difficult circumstances. Similarly, the candidate tells the recruiter that they “developed emotional intelligence” but never explains what they mean by this or how this developed from the role. These points are not self-explanatory. In your own writing, it is not enough simply to assert that you have a given skill. You need to provide specific evidence and explain it with detailed steps and outcomes that you took. In turn, this will prove to the recruiter that you have the skills you claim.
Furthermore, this paragraph is missing a central link back to the question. The question specifically asks you to explain the skills that you think a commercial lawyer needs. Currently, it is unclear from the candidate’s writing why they think that a commercial lawyer specifically would need good interpersonal skills. While it might be more obvious why a family or criminal lawyer would need to be able to help clients in difficult personal circumstances, it’s less clear how this point applies to commercial lawyers. As such, the candidate needed to spend more time addressing the question by explaining why they think commercial lawyers need these skills.
In light of the tight word count, the candidate might have been better off either (1) cutting this out or (2) cutting down another paragraph so that they could add more detail here.
Finally, a career in law is a constant learning experience. Possessing a growth mindset is thus fundamental. I demonstrated this when I elected to undertake Intellectual Property Law. I struggled initially, scoring 56 in the formative assessment. However, I worked hard to strengthen my performance, attending office hours and completing an external legal writing skills course to obtain an overall grade of 64.
Feedback: This paragraph has a slightly better structure than the previous. The candidate begins by stating a relevant point, before providing some additional context on it. Then, the candidate introduces a specific example from their studies to demonstrate that they have this skill. Then, the candidate outlines the precise steps they took to improve their grades and achieve the desired outcome. Finally, the candidate provides a specific and quantified outcome following from their actions. This results in a coherent paragraph that is straightforward to follow overall.
However, this paragraph suffers from a couple of weaknesses:
1. The candidate’s central point is quite vague. The candidate never quite explains how law is a “constant learning experience”, nor do they ever explain what they mean by a “growth mindset”. As such, this makes it harder for the candidate to construct a strong argument on the basis of this point. The candidate needed to go further in explaining what they mean by each of these statements, as they are currently rather vague.
2. The candidate’s point is not well-tailored to the question. Arguably, all professions are “constant learning experiences” requiring a “growth mindset” of some kind. This is not a unique feature of commercial law. The question specifically asks why commercial lawyers need this skill, so the candidate needed to develop their point by tailoring it to the question.
3. The candidate does not provide much detail on the specific steps they took to improve their grades. Currently, the steps described do not seem to go beyond the basic standards one would expect from a law student. You would expect any competent law student to “work hard” and attend the required office hours. The only step demonstrating slight extra commitment is the candidate’s attendance at a legal course. As such, the candidate needed to go into much more specific detail explaining how they overcame the setback and worked more effectively to achieve a better outcome.
Please use this space to explain your interest in pursuing a legal career at a city law firm, and your interest in Shearman & Sterling LLP. (250)
My interest in a career in commercial law has developed through attending insight days, workshops, and fairs with city firms. The variety of work in commercial law appeals to my inquisitive nature, and I am drawn to the ability to apply my creative problem-solving skills to challenging commercial issues. Specifically, I am interested in a career at a city firm due to the high-value work; I am a results-driven individual, so the ability to work on high-impact deals motivates me. In addition, I am attracted to the multijurisdictional element of work at city law firms. As an East Asian Studies graduate, the opportunity to utilise my intercultural communication on cross-border transactions particularly appeals. Therefore, I wish to pursue a legal career at a global city firm.
[Feedback: We recommend that answers to this question should be split into two paragraphs, as this candidate has done: (1) why you are pursuing a career in commercial law, specifically in the City (namely, ‘Big Law’), and (2) why do you want to train/work at Shearman & Sterling?
This paragraph does well to highlight the attractive features of commercial law in the City and the competencies that S&S (and other firms) look for. Furthermore, the candidate makes a decent attempt to link their personal experiences/university degree to their attraction to such a career which is especially notable given their non-law degree. We would recommend that, if presented with the opportunity to do so, candidates from a non-law background use their degree as evidence for certain interests. In this instance, the candidate has used their East Asian Studies degree to evidence their intercultural communication skills and interest in multijurisdictional work. So long as you explain how that degree supports your claims, mentioning your course can be useful.
The main point of improvement for this answer is that it crams several points into one paragraph. The candidate makes the following points regarding why they want to pursue a career in commercial law (at a City law firm):
1. Varied work.
2. High-value work.
3. Multijurisdictional work.
Whilst these are interrelated, the candidate cites separate pieces of evidence to substantiate each one. The issue with this is that each point is substantially underdeveloped, and the evidence is weak. For example, the candidate cites that they are attracted to high-value work and, to substantiate that claim, they are a results-driven individual. However, they do not provide any evidence to back up the claim that they are a ‘results-driven individual’. As the candidate has put several points into one paragraph, there is no space for them to develop their point with the appropriate evidence or link. Consequently, we would always recommend sticking with one point per paragraph as, in our experience, depth is always better than breadth.]
I am applying to Shearman due to its international presence and strength in project finance. Having worked on infrastructure projects at a consultancy since university, I have become interested in project finance, particularly drawn to the cross-border collaboration and tangible impact of projects. Shearman’s winning of eight Project Finance International awards in 2019 highlights its dominance in the sector, appealing to my career aspirations. The prospect of a small trainee intake also appeals, ensuring higher levels of responsibility and development from an early stage. While small intakes are not uncommon at U.S. firms, Shearman’s solid establishment in London ensures inclusivity and less of a cutthroat culture. I confirmed this speaking to trainees at a Shearman campus event, thereby solidifying my interest in the firm.
[Feedback: This paragraph starts off well; however, the candidate then shoehorns another point into the answer.
First, the candidate does well to pick out Shearman & Sterling’s strengths in project finance. The candidate justifies their interest in project finance with a personal experience (instead of saying ‘consultancy’, it would have been better to name the organisation – this goes for all types of evidence) and gives evidence for Shearman’s prowess in the practice area.
Second, the candidate pivots their answer away from the work S&S does, to their training. Whilst ordinarily we would recommend discussing a firm’s work, training and culture in a ‘why firm?’ answer, in such a short paragraph, addressing all three can make the answer less coherent. The candidate then goes on to address the firm’s small trainee intake and their longstanding presence in London.
One of the main issues with this answer is that it lacks specificity. Whilst the candidate does cite some evidence for their claims, there is a lack of sufficient detail. For example, the candidate cites the ‘Shearman campus event’ as evidence for the firm’s lack of a cutthroat culture. However, the candidate does not mention when/where this event occurred, who they spoke to, or a quote. Hence, the recruiter may be unconvinced that the candidate did actually attend such an event, as anyone could have written this. Consequently, this evidence fails to properly support their answer. This is almost certainly as a result of the candidate adding too many points into their paragraph. If you stick to one point per paragraph, you will ensure that you have the requisite space to fully develop your answers.
A second issue with this paragraph is its lack of strong argumentation. The candidate does give reasons for wanting to train/work at S&S; however, these reasons are not fully developed, and the candidate does not properly explain how such reasons factor into their choice of S&S. For example, the candidate cites their prior experience with infrastructure projects at a consultancy during university as evidence for their attraction to the kind of work that S&S does/is good at. However, other than giving evidence that S&S is indeed good with regards to project finance work, the candidate fails to explain why they are interested in project finance work. Hence, a cynical recruiter might think that the candidate has merely identified something that Shearman & Sterling is good at and attempted to align themselves with that interest, rather than the candidate being genuinely interested in that field.]
Why does a career in a city law firm interest you?
Intense precision, commitment to external competition and a thirst for completing tasks to the utmost perfection under strenuous time constraints - though this will involve a lot of hard work, it is this that attracts me to the life of a city solicitor. I was always intrigued by the mechanics of business, and it soon became apparent to me after several weeks of city legal work experience, that corporate lawyers play a pivotal role in promoting the generation of wealth and prosperity in the highly competitive globalised economy. I have always taken pride in enjoying the news as it happens which allows me to develop arguments and improve my commercial awareness skills – this is key for city work as this information needs to be applied to complete deals and advise clients. You would not get to work on the calibre of deals a firm like Sidley gets to work on without being at a top-tier international city law firm. One can take pride in seeing deals that you have worked on being reported in the news and Sidley certainly offers this self-actualisation. Attending the open day at Sidley and speaking to the associates, confirmed in my mind the plethora of benefits of working for a US firm in London. It appears that the Sidley sentiment of hard work and meritocracy is very much the ethos I myself like to adhere to. Overall, after extensive research on the firm, it is certainly a place that I can see myself flourish.
[Feedback: The first sentence captivates the reader and will unquestionably stand out from the other hundreds that graduate recruiter has read. Starting strong is often a good idea as with so many applications reading the same way it is usually a positive to be memorable. That sentence along with the second one lay an eloquent foundation for why a life in city law appeals. The second sentence is also excellent and stylish. We are starting to see why commercial law appeals as the paragraph continues. A tie to Sidley is also made, personalising the question - an approach we recommend. It then adds another nice point by referencing the Sidley Open Day. The penultimate sentence is one of the strongest and rounds the paragraph off nicely when preempting the final statement.
The start is intense - almost too intense, and after the initial dash the writing also worsens (run on sentence, “a lot” is informal, etc. There is also some word repetition: “work” and “take pride”, especially. “Self-actualisation”, is hyperbolic, “open day” should be capitalised and “plethora” is a word that students seem to love but comes across as using a thesaurus for the sake of it. Both the penultimate and final sentences could use further development: how does the candidate show hard work and commitment to merit? And what did the “extensive research” show?]
Why does a career in commercial law and specifically Sidley Austin interest you? (250)
Problem-solving within a set of parameters first drew me to commercial law. I studied philosophy at university to become a vicar. After realising priesthood was not for me, I became drawn to law as it similarly offers the chance to guide others based upon a set of principles.
Feedback: There is no harm in writing a brief introductory paragraph in these types of questions. However, it must contribute to your overall argument in some fashion. The word count is highly restrictive, so you must make sure that you do not compromise on the overall quality of your answer by writing an introduction. The candidate does this well here. They provide background and context about the starting point for their interest in commercial law, whilst also demonstrating that they have considered (and so rejected) other career paths in favour of commercial law. This makes the candidate’s writing far more convincing and tailored to commercial law overall. You should also make sure that your reasoning for commercial law is specific and well-tailored. If your reasons are generic and applicable to any other career path in the City, then the recruiter will doubt your motivations for this career path.
That said, one issue with this paragraph is that it is not tailored enough to commercial law. You will solve problems and “guide others based on a set of principles” in every City career path, not just commercial law. As a general rule, you should check that your reasoning is tailored enough by replacing “commercial law” with any other career path. If the new sentence makes just as much sense, then you are not being specific enough. For example:
● “I am interested in commercial law because I can solve problems.”
This can just as easily be replaced with...
● I am interested in consulting because I can solve problems.”
… and it would make just as much sense.
We will give the candidate the benefit of the doubt here because the rest of their answer is strong. However, you should always make sure that your writing is as tailored as it can be.
I am particularly interested in commercial law because of commerce’s ability to creatively solve and anticipate problems. Cofounding a childcare business showed me that anticipating consumers’ issues is key to business success. Commercial lawyers are central to this exciting problem-solving process. During my [Magic Circle law firm] vacation scheme, I saw how antitrust was integral to a megamerger’s success. Moreover, during a placement at [Silver Circle law firm], I found the multi-jurisdictional nature of a High Court litigation to be technically interesting. As an analyst of financial risk and regulation, I enjoy creatively interpreting seemingly rigid financial regulations. I now want to expand the remit of my role and, as a commercial lawyer, engage with a wider variety of legislation and companies.
Feedback: The candidate does well to prioritise depth over breadth in this answer, namely by picking just two reasons and analysing them in detail. This means that the candidate can provide a complete insight into their interest in commercial law, within the remit of a very tight word count.
The candidate’s writing is also persuasive because it is well-structured. Specifically, the candidate follows PEEL/AL (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). They do so by (1) leading in with a point about their interest in commercial law before (2) providing their experience in business/on vacation schemes as evidence, then (3) explaining/analysing how this evidence developed the candidate’s interest in commercial law before (4) linking their analysis back to the initial point. This makes the candidate’s writing easier to follow and so be convinced by overall. You should aim for a similar structure so that your argument is logical, well-structured and easier to follow.
You should note the strength of this candidate’s evidence. The candidate deploys high-quality, personalised evidence from a variety of business/law firm experiences to explain how their interest in commercial law developed over time. This demonstrates that the candidate has thought seriously about this career path, and so has taken concrete steps to consolidate their interest in commercial law. Where possible, you should also make use of open days, internships and work experience so that you paint a complete picture of your interest in commercial law.
However, this candidate’s analysis needed to improve in two regards. For one, the candidate’s first reason is not sufficiently tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts an interest in how business solves problems and anticipates consumer issues. The issue is that this point is just as applicable to every commercial advisory/consultancy position in the City. It is also unclear what problems/business issues the candidate is referring to. As such, the candidate needed to explain precisely how commercial lawyers solve problems and anticipate issues for clients.
Secondly, the candidate needed to analyse their second point more thoroughly. While the candidate asserts interests in (1) antitrust and (2) the multi-jurisdictional elements of commercial law more widely, they do not explain specifically what interests them about each of these elements. The candidate starts to explain their wider interest in commercial law towards the end, but they still do not demonstrate sufficient understanding of the aforementioned features. You should always make sure that you analyse and explain each point thoroughly. If you do not have space, then you should cut out these points in favour of more detailed analysis elsewhere.
The candidate’s analysis nonetheless needs to be tighter. First, the candidate asserts that commercial law involves a crossover between law and commercial reality (true!), but she never explains precisely what she means by this nor why that appeals to her personally. This also makes the candidate’s linking sentence at the end quite weak. It is not clear that the candidate understands how commercial lawyers protect clients against risk and utilise industry risks, nor does she explain why these appeal to her. It is also unclear how a session on product development led the candidate to this conclusion. As such, the candidate needed to provide more specific and detailed evidence explaining her personal interest in the point.
I am drawn to Sidley Austin (SA) for its strong financial service regulatory practice. I want to continue giving financial regulatory advice but now from a legal perspective. SA’s aggressive growth in private equity is also attractive. Having specialised in corporate finance at university, I want to further develop my understanding of company valuation and acquisition. Finally, SA’s small trainee intake appeals to me. Having led multiple societies at university whilst working a part-time job, I enjoy shouldering significant responsibility.
Feedback: The candidate now moves onto the second element of the question, namely “why Sidley”. The candidate has done well to address (1) why commercial law and (2) why Sidley in roughly equal depth, which means that they have addressed each feature of the question properly. You should aim to address these elements in similar word count allocations of roughly 125 words to each.
This paragraph is nonetheless much weaker than the first. The first issue is that neither of the points are tailored enough to Sidley:
The candidate asserts separate interests in Sidley’s regulatory and private equity practice areas, but does not explain (1) what is unique about Sidley’s work in either of these areas nor (2) why these practice areas appeal to the candidate specifically. This makes the candidate’s reasoning quite generic. These points could be just as applicable to other US firms with similar strengths, such as Latham & Watkins or Kirkland & Ellis.
While SA does indeed have a small trainee intake, this is applicable to nearly all US and other small firms in the City. “SA” could easily be swapped out with “Kirkland & Ellis” or “Latham & Watkins” and it would make just as much sense.
The quality of analysis is also weaker in this paragraph. Firstly, the candidate asserts a general interest in corporate finance and acquisitions but does not tie this analysis back in with Sidley’s practice area strengths. It is never made clear how the candidate’s interest in corporate finance is relevant to their motivations for Sidley. In any case, this reasoning is generic and applicable to any other corporate/advisory role in the City. You will develop just as much expertise as an M&A advisor at PwC as you would in a position at Sidley. Secondly, the candidate’s analysis of the second point on small trainee intakes is weak. It is not self-explanatory that small trainee intakes lead to more responsibilities. As such, the candidate would have needed to analyse how Sidley’s team structure and training contract lends itself to earlier responsibilities, before explaining why these points are important to the candidate.
We are also sceptical of the quality of this candidate’s evidence here. First, your chosen modules at university can provide helpful background/context but they do not usually support a point on their own. This is because the content you study on a university course can often be quite far-removed from the work you will do in practice. As such, you should not rely on university courses as evidence. Secondly, the candidate’s evidence of “leading multiple societies whilst working a part-time job” is not convincing on its own. Nearly everyone juggles their studies with part-time work, societies and so on. This does not mean that they enjoy responsibility necessarily. You should always make sure that you back up your points with detailed, specific and high-quality supporting evidence.
Why are you motivated to pursue a career in a commercial law firm, in particular SPB? (200)
After attending an exclusive [redacted RG university] event with Squire Patton Boggs (SPB), I am applying to the firm for two reasons.
Feedback: There is nothing inherently harmful in writing a brief introductory paragraph like this. They can contextualise your interest in the firm to the recruiter, as well as providing structure and focus to the rest of your answer. The candidate achieves both of these points here. They provide brief insight into the event that triggered their interest in SPB, before stating that they have two reasons for wanting to join. This provides helpful background and adds structure to the candidate’s answer.
However, the candidate should have cut this out (in light of the very restrictive word count). The candidate uses 22/200 words on this paragraph, which takes up over a tenth of the word count. Given the tight word limits, the candidate should have cut out the introduction in favour of more meaningful analysis elsewhere. In word-restrictive questions like this, you must spend every word analysing and drilling down on your reasons for interest in SPG. You simply do not have the luxury of writing elaborate introductory paragraphs.
This kind of introduction would be better placed in a traditional cover letter, where you are generally constrained by page limits rather than specific word counts.
Firstly, I am impressed by the type and quality of work at the firm. SPB is highly regarded for mid-market M&A transactions, evidenced by its Tier 1 by The Legal 500 in this area. The broad range of specialisms are appealing, particularly as trainees are exposed to them through the six-seat training contract. This structure would give me the ability to experience a variety of work and ensure that I am able to make a well-informed decision regarding where to qualify.
Feedback: This is a fairly decent first paragraph. In particular, the candidate structures their answer sensibly using the PEEL structure (point, evidence, explanation, link). You should note how the candidate states their point from the outset, namely that they are interested in SPB’s work in mid-market M&A transactions. The candidate then substantiates this point with some further details about SPB’s rankings and range of specialisms. By stating this point outright, the candidate focuses their writing and makes it easier for the recruiter to follow their argument throughout.
However, this paragraph needs improvement in a few regards. First, the candidate’s point is insufficiently tailored to SPB. It does not differentiate SPB from other firms in the mid-market M&A/private equity space. The candidate gives passing mention to SPB’s ranking in this area, but does not go any further in explaining how SPB’s Legal 500 rankings make its M&A work uniquely interesting. SPB is also not the only firm occupying Tier 1 for mid-market transactions. This means that you could easily swap out “SPB” with another competitor firm, and this candidate’s writing would make just as much sense. You need to make tailored, well-researched points about the firm in your own writing. This will prove to the recruiter that you have seriously researched the firm, and so you have spent meaningful time thinking about whether you want to work there.
Secondly, the candidate doesn’t offer a convincing explanation about why SPB’s structure/practice area strengths appeal to them. The candidate never explains what personally interests them about SPB’s mid-market M&A work. Since the candidate has deliberately mentioned the “mid-market” nature of SPB’s work, we would expect the candidate to explain why this specific aspect appeals to them. Similarly, the candidate asserts that SPB’s six-seat structure “gives them an ability to experience a variety of work” and make a “well-informed” qualification decision, but these are not convincing explanations. You can expect a variety of work and good qualification options at traditional four-seat firms – these are not unique features of SPB’s six-seat structure. As such, the candidate needed to go further in explaining what makes this structure unique and why it interests them.
As a minor criticism, the candidate’s point is a little unfocused. The candidate leads in with a point about SPB’s M&A work. Then, the candidate shoehorns in a reference to SPB’s “six-seat training contract”, but never explains why this interests them. This is also disconnected from the candidate’s initial point about SPB’s M&A work. As a rule, you should stick to just one point per paragraph. Each paragraph should deal with the firm’s work and training structure separately. In turn, this will focus your writing and make it easier for the recruiter to follow your arguments.
Secondly, after attending the SPB virtual event, I was impressed by the culture of the firm. Francesca Puttock, a trainee in the Birmingham office, spoke highly of the supportive and non-hierarchical environment at the firm, demonstrated through her high levels of responsibility during her first seat. The combination of the firm’s culture and location appeals to me as I hope to work on projects that I can see the tangible results for. In particular, I am excited to work with local clients such as Aston Villa Football Club and bring my nuanced understanding of Birmingham culture.
Feedback: This paragraph is a slight improvement on the previous. In particular, the candidate does well to substantiate their point by mentioning an event they attended with SPB. Not only does this provide substantiating evidence for the candidate’s initial point about SPB’s culture, but it also evidences the candidate’s personal interest in SPB. By mentioning the SPB event, the candidate demonstrates that they have a sustained and genuine interest in the firm. They have gone beyond simply carrying out basic research into the firm’s rankings and graduate recruitment brochures. Instead, the candidate evidences their interest in SPB’s culture with an objective account of the event they attended. This helps demonstrate that they have an authentic interest in SPB.
Regardless, this paragraph suffers from a couple of key weaknesses. First, the candidate’s point about SPB’s culture is not particularly convincing or well-tailored. Though the candidate asserts that SPB has a “supportive” and “non-hierarchical” structure, they do not go much further in explaining what they mean by this. Many firms will claim to offer “supportive” and “non-hierarchical” cultures in the same way – you’d struggle to find any firm that markets itself as unsupportive! As such, the candidate’s central point is simply not convincing enough. This is a common issue for candidates who rely on the firm’s culture as a central point. You simply cannot know what the culture is like until you have actually worked there.
As such, we advise candidates to avoid discussing culture altogether. You should instead focus on objective features that can be substantiated by hard evidence (such as practice area strengths and training contract features).
Secondly, the latter half of this paragraph is quite weak. The candidate begins by name-dropping Aston Villa as a notable client. However, the candidate never explains why they have singled out Aston Villa as a client nor why that interests them personally. Bizarrely, the candidate also asserts that they have a “nuanced understanding of Birmingham culture”. The candidate never explains what they mean by this, nor why that ultimately relates back to their interest in SPB. In your own writing, you need to avoid making unsubstantiated points. Every assertion must be backed by strong, PEEL-structured analysis.
Why do you wish to pursue a career as a commercial solicitor? (250 words)
My interest in commerce stems from my previously held part-time jobs. I experienced making commercial decisions, such as strategies to compete cost-efficiently, while working at a local takeaway. In accordance with the existing difficulties in the retail sector, I witnessed the challenges businesses can face while working at [redacted supermarket chain]. It was interesting to note from both experiences that customer loyalty was key in defining their long term success. Applying this knowledge to an open day M&A exercise, I negotiated a high sale price by leveraging the popularity of the client’s brand, gaining experience of the processes involved in a large corporate deal. Thus, my interest grew for the highly competitive and complex work involved in commercial law.
[Feedback: Almost every application process will involve asking you some kind of ‘why do you want to be a solicitor?’ question. Therefore, it is vital you understand how to answer this question succinctly and to maximum effect.
Importantly, as the question asks you about a career as a commercial solicitor, you must address two key areas (at the minimum): why you are interested in being specifically a solicitor and why you want to work specifically in the field of commercial law.
The candidate tries to address the latter of these two areas in this paragraph. The candidate should be commended on their incorporation of experiences and examples into their answer. They drew on their work experiences, as well as an open day, which goes some way in personalising the answer.
To improve this answer, the candidate should have been more specific in their examples and focused on an aspect of the career. As described in previous comments, the candidate could have incorporated additional facts and statistics to substantiate some of their examples and claims.
For example, what exactly did the candidate mean when they wrote ‘I experienced making commercial decisions’? What did the candidate actually do? As it stands, such a statement is too vague and does not say anything about the candidate’s experience or ability. Similarly, the statement ‘my interest grew for the highly competitive and complex work involved in commercial law’ is too broad. The candidate needs to employ specifics to scope their interest and provide details regarding what exactly interested them.
Furthermore, the candidate should have addressed a specific aspect of the career. This paragraph discusses the candidate’s broad interest and interaction with commercial activities. However, that is not what the question is asking about. The question demands an answer that details interest in commercial law rather than commerce in general. Whilst the candidate cites an M&A exercise, this is not enough to substantiate an interest in commercial law. The candidate needed to have discussed aspects of the field and explained what exactly it is about commercial law that interests them.
In your answers, stick to a precise point, evidence, explain/analyse, and link (‘PEEL’) structure. Of crucial importance is the link: relate your answer back to the question and explain how it demonstrates your interest in commercial law or being a solicitor, or both.]
Additionally, my experience at Citizens Advice offered me an in-depth insight into a career in law, as I spent several months advising clients on a range of topics. The high level of responsibility to ensure every client's needs were met allowed me to develop a strong appreciation for the work lawyers do. It is this desire to help clients solve their most challenging multi-jurisdictional problems, coupled with my commercial drive, that has solidified my motivation to pursue a career as a commercial lawyer.
[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate attempts to explain their interest in law as a career. The candidate utilises their experience with the Citizens Advice Bureau to evidence their interest. Whilst the use of this experience is good (as it is a piece of substantiating evidence), the answer could be improved with the inclusion of additional detail and analysis.
For instance, the candidate could have given an example of a specific piece of work they carried out whilst working for Citizens Advice. Additionally, the candidate should have explained in greater detail why they ‘develop[ed] a strong appreciation for the work lawyers do’ and why they are suited to that kind of work. To achieve a top answer, you must go beyond claiming that you have a ‘desire to help clients solve their most challenging multi-jurisdictional problems’ and a ‘commercial drive’. Such a response could apply to many other careers, such as being a consultant or investment banker.
You must focus on the details of your answer to why commercial law. Break down the facets of the career and consider which ones most appeal to you. Make such a facet your ‘point’. Follow up with some evidence (namely, a personal example or experience) of how you know that point to be true. Subsequently, explain how your evidence proves your point. Finally, link your answer back to the question at hand.]
Why do you wish to pursue a career as a commercial solicitor? (250)
I enjoy solving problems for clients, drawing on my analytical skills and commercial mindset.
Feedback: There’s no harm in writing introductory sentences like this. The candidate spends their introduction summarising the points they will cover, which aids comprehension and helps the recruiter picture what the candidate will later discuss.
However, we generally recommend against writing cover letters in word-restricted answers like this. This is because every word counts. Each and every sentence must develop your argument somehow. Here, the candidate spends 14 words asserting an interest in three separate points without developing them further. As such, the candidate could have safely cut this out without it impacting their answer negatively.
My undergraduate degree helped me develop the ability to evaluate information from multiple sources, form detailed arguments and present them effectively. These came to the fore in my dissertation, which was awarded a Distinction and selected for publication by the university. I performed more complex research while interning at a leading commercial chambers in London and assisting judges at a German regional court, also gaining experience of legal drafting. As Student Director for [redacted university]’s Legal Advice Clinic, I provide written advice for pro bono clients.
Feedback: The candidate uses a good level of personal evidence here. You should note how the candidate uses three specific, personalised examples to explain how their interest in commercial law developed. These are relevant examples that go some way in telling the recruiter how the candidate selected this career path.
However, the central weakness is that the candidate does not truly answer the question. This is because the candidate does not follow the PEEL/AL structure. In turn, the answer reads more like a competency answer than a motivational one. We believe it has several points for improvement:
The candidate’s initial point is unfocused and does not explain why they are interested in commercial law. The candidate asserts that they can evaluate information from multiple sources. However, it is unclear (1) how this is relevant nor (2) how this explains the candidate’s interest in commercial point. In this regard, it is also an untailored point. You would need to “form and present detailed arguments” in both the solicitor and barrister route. You will also need to “evaluate information from multiple sources” in any legal practice area, not just commercial ones. As such, the candidate’s initial point does nothing to explain their interest in commercial law.
The candidate tries to shoehorn in several points without fully developing them. They begin by asserting that they can evaluate information and present effective arguments. The candidate then cites their dissertation as evidence for this, but never explains how they applied said skills during their dissertation. The candidate then asserts that they gained legal drafting experience from their experience at a German court. However, they never explain how their interest in commercial law developed. Finally, the candidate crams in a reference to their Student Director experience without ever tying it back in with the question.
The candidate’s examples do not fully answer the question. The candidate uses them to assert that they have various skills/competencies. However, the question isn’t asking this. Instead, the candidate would have needed to unpack each experience to explain why each interested them and how they confirmed the candidate’s interest in commercial law as a result.
These issues are avoidable. Had the candidate followed the PEEL structure, they could have written a more focused answer. They could have stated a reason for interest from the outset, before using their high-quality examples to support this point.
In order to fund my PGDL and gain commercial experience, I worked for a year at XXX, an expert network which supports due diligence in M&A transactions. My work involved gathering and verifying information for demanding clients, including major corporations and private equity firms. I had to quickly grasp the fundamentals of new industries with each project. At open days, I have been interested to hear from lawyers about the importance of understanding the client’s sector when providing legal advice.
Feedback: This paragraph is a slight improvement on the previous. The candidate begins to address the question directly, by explaining what they found interesting about their work experience before weaving in their experience at open days. This means the recruiter starts to see how the candidate’s interest in commercial law developed and why it did so.
Once again, you should note the quality of evidence used by the candidate. The candidate centres their analysis around a specific, detailed and highly relevant commercial work experience. Through this experience, the candidate demonstrates a good level of understanding about commercial law. We particularly like how the candidate references various due diligence tasks. This starts to get to the core of what commercial law involves. As a commercial lawyer, your primary job is to protect clients against legal risks. The candidate does well by analysing a specific experience that gets to this point. We also like how the candidate has woven in their open day experience. This goes even further in tailoring the candidate’s writing to commercial law.
However, this paragraph suffers from similar structural weaknesses to the first. The candidate spends much of the paragraph contextualising their experience, without drilling down on what interested them about these due diligence projects and how that relates back to commercial law. It is not enough simply to assert an interest in due diligence and information-gathering. This is because commercial lawyers are not the only parties involved in due diligence. Clients will engage a variety of parties for commercial and legal due diligence (such as consultants and accountants). As such, the recruiter is left questioning why the candidate chose commercial law as opposed to any other similar paths in the City. The open day example does not go far enough either. All corporate advisers would need to “understand their client’s sector” when advising them. As such, the candidate should have considered specifically how commercial lawyers assist with transactions and why that appeals to them.
I enjoyed the fast-paced environment of live deals and the satisfaction of adding value to my clients as they pursued strategic opportunities. However, this work lacked the analytical rigour of commercial law. I am keen to combine my client service experience and commercial awareness with my analytical and reasoning skills to solve more complex issues for companies as they develop their businesses.
Feedback: The strengths and weaknesses of this paragraph are reversed. This time, the candidate leads in with a high-quality point (even if it is worded somewhat clunkily). The candidate states that they are interested in commercial law because it combines analytical rigour with fast-paced deals and opportunities to add value for clients. The candidate then explains this point in detail. The candidate’s reasoning gets to the heart of what commercial lawyers do. In turn, this results in a well-tailored paragraph that demonstrates the candidate’s understanding of this career path.
However, what this paragraph lacks is high-quality evidence to support the point. The candidate previously touched on examples from the commercial experience and from their undergraduate degree. However, the candidate never ties these examples into the point they make in this final paragraph. Currently, the candidate’s previous experiences do not sufficiently demonstrate their interest in the legal elements of commercial law. In turn, this means the candidate’s writing is less convincing to the recruiter.
Had the candidate followed PEEL/AL, they would have been able to lead in with this motivational point. Then, they could have justified their interest in that point by using the high-quality and relevant examples mentioned elsewhere.
Why commercial law
Through debating, I have come face-to-face with a variety of commercial issues, and considered the potential implications of these on wider society and different industries. This has developed my interest in the consequences of applying legal framework to business facing issues, and then considering the long term implications and potential benefits of doing so. Attending an ESG ‘The future of law’ panel introduced me to the idea of how commercial lawyers often seek to future-proof businesses through these legal frameworks, thus distinguishing themselves from the more typical regulatory work that in house-lawyers might perform. I then put this into practice while completing the Clifford Chance ‘Sustainable Finance’ virtual internship through tasks such as navigating Environmental Risk Management Guidelines and assisting with a Loan Default.
Feedback: The candidate does well to connect their personal experiences with their wider understanding of/interest in commercial law. You should note the level of specific detail used by the candidate. The candidate peppers their answer with specific references to commercial law panels and virtual internships, before explaining specifically what these involved and why the candidate found these interesting. You should aim for similar levels of specificity in your own writing. Wherever possible, you should use specific and relevant legal/networking experiences to paint the picture of your interest in commercial law.
That said, the candidate could have improved this paragraph’s structure. They should have stated their reason for interest from the outset before tying these experiences back to the specific skills or insights gained and how these prepare them for a career in commercial law, beyond general statements. It would also be better if the candidate explained why the commercial lawyers’ mindset of seeking to future-proof businesses through those legal frameworks intrigued the candidate and motivated them to pursue a career in commercial law.
Studying Law and Spanish in Madrid this year, I have had a first-hand opportunity to develop my knowledge of international markets and legal systems and consider how they interact with international trends and legislation. This cross-jurisdictional aspect fascinates me, that legislation in the EU can impact businesses operating internally and externally, like with the Corporate Sustainability Due Diligence Directive. Furthermore, the additional challenges that operate at a multi-jurisdictional level brings are engaging, seeing how commercial lawyers can enact this idea of future-proofing to enable businesses to succeed internationally.
Feedback: In line with the previous section, this paragraph effectively highlights the candidate’s understanding of the international aspect of commercial law. The candidate’s experience in Madrid also showcases their understanding of the complexities of multi-jurisdictional commercial law and distinguishes the candidate from other applicants. As mentioned previously, you should always support your motivational reasons with specific and detailed personal experiences. This will convince the recruiter that you have invested serious time into researching commercial law before deciding on it as a career path.
This response could be enhanced by specifically relating the candidate's personal experience in Madrid to their ability to contribute to WFW, which has a strong global presence. Adding details about how these insights could be applied in a practical setting at a law firm and how this intrigued the candidate would personalise and strengthen the paragraph.
I have further developed my commercial skills alongside communication and editing skills by participating in the Aspiring Solicitors Commercial Awareness Competition, and through contributing to the Commercial Awareness society newsletter.
Feedback: Though the candidate does well to identify another high-quality experience, this paragraph contributes little to the overall answer. First, the question does not ask about commercial skills – it asks about motivations for commercial law. As such, the skills mentioned by the candidate do not address the question. Secondly, the candidate does not explain what this experience involved nor how it developed their interest in the career path. As such, the candidate could have cut this paragraph in favour of more meaningful analysis elsewhere.
Please explain why you would like a career in commercial law.
My interest in commercial law stems from being raised in a developing region. Being raised in the Caribbean and witnessing the establishment of the Caribbean Single Market, afforded me the opportunity to see directly the interconnection between law, economics, and politics. Commerce and international trade are essential to any economy; but for Small Island Developing States, such as St. Kitts and Nevis, the country is very much predated on commerce and international trade. Commercial law is an integral component in the facilitation of commerce, as it creates mechanisms which facilitate and generate economic growth; particularly in developing regions, such as the Caribbean.
[Feedback:This question is commonly found on application forms. Therefore, it is essential that you craft a strong answer that you can use when applying to different firms. We would recommend adopting a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for your paragraphs. Where the word limit is 250-300 words, you should stick to between two to three paragraphs. You should remember that depth is always preferable to breadth.
In this first paragraph, the candidate links their interest in a career in commercial law to their personal background. They begin by mentioning their background, their observation of ‘the interconnection between law, economics, and politics’, and the importance of commercial law. The answer is strong for its relation to the candidate’s background. You should remember that the question asks why you would like a career in commercial law. Therefore, your answer must be, in some fashion, linked to your personal background or interests.
The candidate successfully links in their personal background by using specific details. You should observe that the candidate does not merely say that they were raised in the Caribbean; they include specific names and facts, such as their mention of ‘Small Island Developing States, such as St. Kitts and Nevis’. You must include these kinds of details when you write your answers. Not only do such details make your answer more engaging, but they also lend your answer a degree of credence. The recruiter can only go off what you tell them; therefore, the more details you include in your answer, the more likely they are to be persuaded by your response.
To improve this answer, the candidate could have included a deeper discussion of what commercial law looks like in practice. Whilst the first half of the answer is good in that it links in the candidate’s background and knowledge of the Caribbean, the answer needed to turn its focus quickly to the career. However, the candidate then goes on to state, in abstract terms, that ‘[c]ommercial law is an integral component in the facilitation of commerce, as it creates mechanisms which facilitate and generate economic growth; particularly in developing regions, such as the Caribbean’. This statement is quite broad and vague. The candidate needed to explain what mechanisms they were referring to and how they ‘facilitate […] economic growth’.
When you write your answers, you must ensure that you avoid making such broad, sweeping statements. Such statements sound nice; however, they do not communicate anything substantive. Instead of writing this statement, the candidate could have gone into some detail as to what practicing commercial law looks like in ‘Small Island Developing States’ and why that interests them in pursuing a career in commercial law at an international law firm. You should be aware that whilst the question does not mention Willkie Farr & Gallagher, you are nonetheless applying to the firm. Therefore, you should not accidentally box yourself in by discussing motivations that would preclude you from working at the firm. For example, the candidate needs to be careful not to express a desire to work only for Caribbean clients or to work only in the Caribbean (as these desires will not be fulfilled at Willkie Farr & Gallagher and indicate a poor fit for the candidate at the firm).]
I have a keen interest in the role that lawyers play in advising principal corporate clients, whose businesses drive national and international economies and impact financial markets. This interest in commercial law was the catalyst for undertaking work experience in the Office of the Attorney General of [redacted Caribbean nation]. During my work experience I was privy to discussions between CARICOM Member States on the establishment of the single market. Being privy to legal negotiations further emphasised my understanding of how lawyers assist in the creation of economic structures which positively affect the lives of millions of people. This experience solidified my conviction to pursue a career as a commercial lawyer. By doing so, the role will afford me the opportunity to utilise my interest, knowledge, and experience in law and economics to assist economic growth in developing regions around the world.
[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate adopts a clear PEEL structure. The candidate leads with a simple point: they are interested in advising corporate clients. They then go on to provide specific evidence for their point: their work experience. Importantly, the candidate does not just state that they had such work experience; instead, they go into some detail about what the experience entailed. Subsequently, the candidate explains their experience and what they learnt from it before attempting to link their answer back to the question at hand. This straightforward structure is a highlight of the candidate’s response and is something that you should look to emulate in your answers.
Whilst the candidate’s structure is strong, they could have improved their answer by including some more detail and stronger argumentation. The candidate has a very interesting piece of work experience that they cite in their answer. However, it would have been good to read more about what they actually did in the role. Candidates often make the mistake of describing what they observed or what they were ‘privy to’ as part of their respective work experiences. This does not make the most of such experiences. The recruiter is not particularly interested in what you observed, rather they want to read about what you did as your actions are what makes the work experience meaningful.
If your work experience mostly involved shadowing or activities that did not lend themselves to individual action, you should explain what actions you took during or after the experience to further your interest in a particular topic. For example, the candidate could have mentioned that after being involved in the discussions ‘between CARICOM Member States on the establishment of the single market’ they went away and researched more about the role of competition or regulatory lawyers (citing specific evidence for this activity).
Furthermore, the candidate’s argumentation could be improved. The candidate writes that ‘[t]his experience solidified my conviction to pursue a career as a commercial lawyer’ but fails to explain fully why this is the case. They suggest that such a career will ‘afford [them] the opportunity to utilise my interest, knowledge, and experience in law and economics to assist economic growth in developing regions around the world’. Crucially, however, the candidate does not explain how the opportunity to pursue the career will afford them this. You must remember that any claims that you make must be sufficiently explained and evidenced. Candidates often fall into the trap of crafting a nuanced claim in their answers but then running out of space to explain and evidence such claims appropriately. Simplicity and depth should be prioritised over complexity and breadth. The recruiter will be aware of the word limit per answer. They are not expecting you to produce a perfect treatise on your motivations for the career. However, they are expecting to see a well-structured, engaging answer that is backed up by personal evidence, specific facts, and statistics, and does not make any broad, sweeping statements.]
Why do you want to be a lawyer? (60 words max)
I want to be a lawyer because I enjoy critical thinking and solving complex problems – it is exciting to research and create new solutions. I have found client engagement to be a strength of mine, and I enjoy collaborating with others to achieve group objectives. I am drawn to the fast-paced, creative, client-focused, and collaborative nature of commercial law.
Feedback: The candidate communicates their points succinctly. They identify each point quite concisely, before providing a brief outline into what they found interesting about each point. We are given a quick-fire summary which succinctly explains that the candidate is interested in (1) critical thinking and problem-solving, (2) that they are interested in building client relationships and (3) that they enjoy the collaborative features of commercial law. This provides a good logical base on which the candidate can develop their points at interview. We would then expect the candidate to explain each point thoroughly, with (1) further tailoring of each point towards law and (2) specific personal examples that evidence the candidate’s interest In each point.
The key weakness of this paragraph is that its points are not well-tailored to commercial law. While it is true that lawyers have to solve problems and engage with clients, these are not unique features of the legal profession. All professions require you to work collaboratively, engage with clients and think critically to varying degrees. As such, the candidate’s interest in law is not sufficiently developed. As a rule, your reasoning is not specific enough if you can swap out “lawyer” with any other profession and your writing makes just as much sense.
We suspect that the candidate has spread themselves too thinly here. Given the tight word count, you should pick out a maximum of two points. This will give you some extra space, which you can use to develop and tailor each point slightly further.
Why do you want to be a lawyer? (60 words max) *
Studying a History degree, I enjoyed examining primary and secondary sources to find information and subsequently build an argument. I can practically apply my research and analytical skills as a lawyer: to provide client-focused solutions. Volunteering at [redacted legal charity] since [redacted month/year], I value empowering my client to secure a positive outcome for themselves by relying on my advice.
Feedback: In view of the 60-word limit, the candidate does well to weave in two specific and relevant personal examples from their studies/volunteering experiences. This adds persuasive value and weight to the candidate’s writing, since it demonstrates that they have a sustained interest in law flowing from specific personal experiences. You should definitely weave in a personal example or two if you have the space. This will allow the recruiter to infer your motivations for law from the examples you provide.
However, the candidate’s points are not particularly high-quality or well-tailored to law. The first point does not go far enough in explaining how lawyers would need to “examine primary/secondary sources to build an argument” nor why that ultimately prompted the candidate to pursue law. This is not a unique feature of law. Academics across all disciplines need to examine and critique different sources in the same way. As such, the first point begs the question as to why the candidate chose the legal profession instead of being a historian or an academic. To improve, the candidate would need to be specific about how and why lawyers need critical thinking/research skills. The candidate would then need to explain how those unique features interest them.
In the same way, the candidate does not sufficiently tailor their second point. You will need to work with (and secure positive outcomes for) clients in nearly any sector across the City, not just commercial law. As such, the candidate would need to be far more specific in explaining how lawyers advise clients and why this unique feature interests the candidate.
Though we are sympathetic to the word count, it’s crucial that your points are well-tailored and developed as far as possible. Much of the marks lie in your succinctness and the quality of your points, so you need to focus on these areas as much as you can.
Why do you want to be a lawyer?
I want to become a lawyer because I am attracted to the intellectual and practical challenges involved in imparting accurate and strategic advice to commercial clients. Additionally, providing holistic whilst considering wider factors such as ESG and combining extensive legal knowledge, financial research and market considerations that could impact a client’s business also appeals to me.
Feedback: This answer is an improvement on the previous candidates’ writing. This is because it demonstrates a stronger appreciation for the role of commercial lawyers in supporting clients. The candidate states a concise point from the outset, namely that they enjoy the intellectual challenges surrounding the advice that lawyers have to provide to commercial clients. Then, the candidate drills down on this point by explaining precisely how lawyers might provide well-rounded advice to clients. This results in a well-developed and coherently-argued paragraph overall.
That said, the candidate could have improved in a couple of regards. First, the candidate should have tailored their point even more precisely to the legal profession. It’s true that commercial lawyers have to draw upon wide-ranging considerations in order to advise the client, rather than simply setting out the black-letter law for them. However, nearly every advisory/consultancy role in the City will offer these kinds of “intellectual and practical challenges”. You would be providing market-sensitive strategic advice to clients in any advisory role, not just in law. As such, the candidate should have drilled down on precisely how commercial lawyers advise these clients.
Secondly, the candidate should have been even more concise. The candidate name-drops references to commercial topics like ESG, without ever developing these or explaining their relevancy to the point. The candidate’s introductory sentence is also long-winded and word-heavy. In view of the word count, the candidate should have cut these down in favour of more substantive analysis elsewhere.
Why do you want to be a lawyer? (60 words) *
I want to be a lawyer because of the dynamic and problem-solving nature of the profession.
I am pragmatic and seek to provide effective solutions. Being a lawyer would be the most thought-provoking way to do so. Having developed client and project management skills in my professional services career, I wish to hone my legal skills at Withers.
Feedback: As with previous answers, the candidate does well to identify a concise point from the outset. This adds logical structure to the answer, whilst also helping the candidate to focus their writing and build on this point later on. The candidate also briefly touches on a personal example, which adds persuasive value by demonstrating that the candidate has an authentic personal interest in the legal profession. Despite the word limit, you should weave in personal examples as far as possible (even if it is just a passing mention). This will evidence that you have genuine, authentic reasons for being interested in the legal profession.
That said, much of the candidate’s writing does not truly answer the question. The candidate spends much of this answer listing out their skills, such as that they are “pragmatic” and have well-developed “client and project management skills”. These points do not explain why the candidate is interested in these features of the legal profession. The question is not asking you to pick out your relevant skills. It is simply asking you to outline your interest in being a lawyer. As such, you need to make sure that every single word contributes to the question somehow. You should not shoehorn your skills in unless it is directly called for by the question.
Please outline why you have chosen a career in commercial law. Include what attributes you believe make a successful commercial lawyer and how you will, or have, gained these behaviours (include work experience, employment and any other activities / interests you feel are relevant).
I am committed to a career in commercial law as I want to work closely with clients to help them reach their business objectives. I am fascinated by the way in which businesses are driven and how different factors influence business strategy. It excites me that working in commercial law requires a proactive approach such as anticipating a client's potential problems before they arise. I find it thrilling that there is a constant drive to gain a competitive advantage in the volatile business environment. Therefore, in my experience as a [part-time worker at a supermarket], I have always taken an active interest in following the business’ objectives and strategy. A recent example is how our business has radically changed our strategy to anticipate the growing popularity of discount supermarkets such as Lidl and Aldi, and how we plan to adapt to a changing market where customers are buying less but shopping more often.
[Feedback: This prompt has many parts and should be treated like multiple sub-questions. We recommend structuring your answer to answer the following questions:
Why do you want to pursue a career in commercial law?
What makes for a good commercial lawyer?
How have you developed these (as mentioned in the above point) competencies?
For each of these sub-questions, we would recommend that you adopt a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for your paragraphs. This will ensure that you directly answer the question and include sufficient supporting evidence and explanation.
In this first paragraph, the candidate addresses their motivation for a career in commercial law. This paragraph’s strength lies in its relation back to the candidate via an inclusion of a personal example. You should observe how the candidate references their previous work experience to evidence their claims about enjoying anticipating problems and remaining competitive. Crucially, the candidate attempts to involve some specific detail in their evidence, for instance by mentioning ‘Lidl and Aldi’.
Furthermore, the candidate has done well in highlighting several traits that are demanded of a commercial lawyer, namely, working closely with clients and anticipating a client’s problems. You should remember that a ‘why law?’ style of question is assessing not just your motivation for the career, but also your understanding of what the career entails.
To improve this answer, the candidate needed to be more specific in their examples and involve stronger argumentation. You should be wary of using words like ‘fascinated’ and ‘thrilling’ in your answers. If you have to tell the recruiter that something is fascinating or thrilling, it is unlikely that you have presented a strong enough argument or evidence to make this claim. You must show the recruiter that you find something interesting, rather than merely telling them. For instance, instead of telling the recruiter that they are ‘fascinated by the way in which businesses are driven and how different factors influence business strategy’, the candidate could have shown this by explaining what books they read or courses or work they undertook to learn more about the strategies of businesses.
Furthermore, the candidate’s argument could be strengthened as they do not go into sufficient detail concerning their points about the career. The candidate writes that ‘[i]t excites [them] that working in commercial law requires a proactive approach such as anticipating a client's potential problems before they arise. [They] find it thrilling that there is a constant drive to gain a competitive advantage in the volatile business environment.’ However, the recruiter is left asking ‘so what?’. You must remember that your paragraphs need to link back to the question at hand. The candidate needed to have gone into additional detail about what the career entailed and explained how their enjoyment of some of the career’s facets makes them want to pursue a career in commercial law. This is why we recommend sticking to a PEEL structure. If you deviate from this structure, you risk your argument being underdeveloped or improperly linking your points, examples, and argument together.]
In addition to this, I am also currently an active member of the Junior Lawyers Division, the Law society at my university and the North of England Medico-Legal society. I have attended several lectures and networking events and plan on attending more networking events that these organisations hold in the future. I hope that involvement with these organisations will support my transition from my degree into a training contract, where I can continue to network.
[Feedback: This paragraph is more of an aside; the candidate discusses their membership of various societies and their attendance at various events. Although these activities and positions of responsibility are worth mentioning, the candidate should have avoided introducing them in this way. First, the candidate does not introduce a strong argument in relation to the mentioned evidence. The candidate simply claims that they ‘hope [their] involvement with these organisations will support my transition from my degree into a training contract’. This does not communicate anything substantive, and, as a result, does not put the candidate’s positions of responsibility to their best use.
Second, the candidate does not include enough detail concerning what being a member of such societies entails, nor specific examples of what they have in said societies. Whilst it may be appropriate to discuss activities in abstraction (if there are many different kinds), you should give at least one or two specific examples. If you do not, your answer will be too vague and the recruiter may not find your response persuasive.
Hence, our overall recommendation is to avoid shorter non-PEEL structured paragraphs, such as this one. You must focus on interweaving your positions of responsibility and activities with your arguments; adopting the PEEL structure will assist you with this.]
Teamwork is a fundamental skill for a commercial solicitor, as a solicitor will often be working with a team. In order to put the client's objectives first, a commercial solicitor must be able to collaborate effectively and efficiently to achieve the best possible outcome for the client. It is important that a commercial solicitor can cooperate and compromise to prioritise the needs of a client. I can demonstrate strong teamwork skills, for example during the Street Law project I worked closely with other students to work to a strict deadline. We collated our different strengths and ensured regular communication to maximise our efficiency as a team. Although we were all at different stages of our degree and had many competing priorities, we managed to find a system of work that fit in with each schedule. I would be excited to make a positive contribution to Bond Dickinson and eventually become a valued team member, working to the high standard that Bond Dickinson maintains.
[Feedback: In this section, the candidate turns their attention to the competency of teamwork. In your response to this prompt, you are asked to demonstrate your knowledge of the competencies expected of a commercial solicitor. Hence, the candidate has done well in including a discussion of ‘teamwork’ (also known as ‘collaboration’).
The candidate’s answer should be commended for its structure. You should observe how the candidate spends the part of the paragraph introducing and explaining the competency. The candidate then goes into an example that evidences how they have said competency. Finally, the candidate attempts to conclude their answer with a link back to the wider prompt concerning being a successful lawyer.
You must follow a similar, if not identical, structure in your answers to ensure you fully answer the question. However, you could employ the alternative structure of situation, task, action response/result (‘STAR’) or context, action, response/result (‘CAR’). This structure is typically used to discuss competencies; however, you will need to modify it to include some discussion of why you think the competency is important for you to be a successful lawyer (we would recommend leading with a few short sentences on this, before going into the STAR/CAR response).
To strengthen this answer, the candidate could have provided a better explanation of what teamwork looks like in practice and why it is important. Although the candidate touches on the right ideas, some of their answer is vague and repetitive. For instance, the candidate writes that ‘teamwork’ is needed because a solicitor often works in a ‘team’. This is almost tautological and could be cut or worded better. The candidate would have been far better off even if they had simply replaced ‘teamwork’ with context. To avoid these kinds of repetitions, you should read your answer out loud when you are proofreading your response.
Furthermore, the candidate needed to employ greater specificity. For example, the candidate writes that ‘a commercial solicitor must be able to collaborate effectively and efficiently to achieve the best possible outcome for the client’. Whilst this may be true, the candidate fails to explain how the skill of collaboration allows for this result. You must try to avoid broad sweeping statements. Instead, you need to guide the recruiter through your argument, providing supplementary evidence and explanation. If you do not do so, you risk writing sentences that, whilst they seem good, do not communicate anything substantive. For instance, the candidate writes that ‘[i]t is important that a commercial solicitor can cooperate and compromise to prioritise the needs of a client’. Again, this may be true; however, it is not linked to the candidate’s argument and seems out of place in the paragraph. You should be looking to craft an argument that flows throughout the answer, rather than punctuating your response with a variety of simple claims.
Additionally, with respect to needing greater specificity, the candidate needed to include some additional detail in the example they gave. The candidate writes that they were working with a team on a project that had a strict deadline. However, they do not go into any detail as to how they devised a system of work, or what the result of their actions was. You should always employ specific facts and statistics in your answers. For instance, you must state how many members were in the team, how long the timeframe was, and so on. If you omit this kind of detail, you risk your answers coming off as too vague and the recruiter being unpersuaded.]
Interpersonal skills are imperative for commercial solicitors. They need to demonstrate effective communication with clients to create positive relationships and build trust. Clients will need to be confident that the firm is working to the clients objectives, which solicitors must communicate at all times. This skill also combines with working effectively as a team; a commercial solicitor will need to use their interpersonal skills in communicating with colleagues to provide the best quality work. My interpersonal and communication skills have been developed in my work at [a supermarket] where I always aim to provide a special service that enhances the customer shopping experience. This includes building relationships with customers by providing a warm welcome and offering tailored product advice and recommendations. I will always try to resolve any issues or complaints from a customer with the utmost sympathy and respect to ensure that strong relationships with our customers are maintained.
[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the competency of interpersonal communication. Once again, the candidate, broadly speaking, adopts a good structure. Notably, in this paragraph, the candidate does well to link the competency of communication to their previous mention of teamwork. Most competencies are linked to each other in some fashion. For instance, motivation and perseverance typically involve each other. Hence, when you draft your answers, you should think about the relationship between the competencies you have selected and whether you can structure your paragraphs such that they flow from one to another.
The candidate has also done well not just to include a discussion of the competency, but also to involve a personal example to evidence that they have the competency. You must remember that for each competency you mention, you will need to demonstrate that you have it. The recruiter does not want to read about competencies in abstraction; the prompt is testing you on whether you know what competencies are important, why they are important, and whether you have them.
This answer could be improved by including some more detail concerning the candidate’s example. The candidate writes that they ‘always aim to provide a special service that enhances the customer shopping experience’. They go on to explain that this includes ‘includes building relationships with customers by providing a warm welcome and offering tailored product advice and recommendations’. Whilst this is good, the candidate needed to have been more specific and given one or two examples of what this looked like in practice.
For example, the candidate should have explained how they tailor product advice and recommendations and given an example of a time when they did so. Similarly, the candidate writes that they ‘always try to resolve any issues or complaints from a customer with the utmost sympathy and respect to ensure that strong relationships with our customers are maintained’. Again, the candidate needed to have explained how they have achieved this in the past (and given an elucidatory example). When you draft your answers, you should put yourself in the place of the recruiter and remember that the recruiter does not know you personally. Hence, examples and detail are imperative to ensure that the recruiter understands what you did, why you did it, and the magnitude of your actions. If the recruiter feels that there is some detail lacking in your response, you should not assume that they will give you the benefit of the doubt.
Finally, the candidate needed to proofread their answer before submission to avoid making a typographical error. In the third sentence, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing ‘[c]lients will need to be confident that the firm is working to the clients objectives’. Whilst this may seem like a minor error, recruiters are now being less forgiving. With more candidates applying to law firms than ever, even the most minor of mistakes can lead to your application being rejected. Therefore, before you submit your work, you should use a spellchecker (such as Microsoft Word or Grammarly) to spot typographical errors. You can also give your application to a family member or trusted friend to read over and spot any errors that you may have missed.]
Commercial awareness is an essential skill for a commercial solicitor as they need a genuine understanding and interest in how businesses function. This will include understanding how national and international events may affect their clients business, and anticipating how other businesses’ actions and motives could also have an effect. Therefore, if a solicitor has commercial awareness they can be proactive in their work and advice by anticipating the possible influences on a clients business. I am constantly maintaining my commercial awareness skills by keeping up to date with the general, business and legal news, and by taking an interest in [my supermarket] as a business and how it plans to operate and adapt its strategy in the near future.
[Feedback: This section focuses on the skill of commercial awareness. The candidate is correct to include this in their answer. Although it is not a typical competency, commercial awareness or acumen is certainly a trait that is needed to be a successful commercial solicitor.
The candidate does well in understanding the importance of commercial awareness. A commercial solicitor is not just a legal advisor. Now, commercial solicitors are expected to be able to understand a business and provide advice on a variety of areas, not just the law. You should remember that a commercial solicitor must be solution-orientated. Therefore, you will be expected not just to highlight the problems with a transaction or dispute to a client, but also to come up with the solution (which will inevitably be subject to commercial realities).
The candidate also tries to describe how they are maintaining their commercial awareness and putting it into practice. It is this latter action that is notable. The best way for you to develop a skill is to use it. This is something that the recruiter will be looking for when you draft your answers. Hence, you should think about how you have used or could use your commercial awareness in an activity or project.
In relation to the above paragraph, the candidate needed to have gone into more detail concerning how they are developing their commercial awareness. Unfortunately, as the pool of applicants swells, more and more candidates will be ‘constantly maintaining [their] commercial awareness skills by keeping up to date with the general, business and legal news’. Hence, by stating this, the candidate does not stand out from the crowd. When you write your answers, be specific; instead of writing that you keep up to date with the ‘general, business and legal news’, you should state how you do so. For example, you could mention that you listen to the Financial Times podcast every morning, or watch ‘The Open’ on Bloomberg TV every afternoon. The more specific you are, the better the recruiter will understand the importance of your actions.
However, to take the answer even further, you must go into detail as to how you have developed your commercial awareness and fostered particular interests. For example, you may have learnt about Apple’s credit card; to learn more about payment systems and their evolution, you may have then read ‘The Pay Off’ by Leibbrant and De Terán. This may have then prompted you to start your own project where you create a table that compares payment systems’ advantages and disadvantages. Naturally, this can go on in perpetuity; however, you should note how these examples show how you are expected to write about your interests and sufficiently evidence your commercial awareness. You need to remember that commercial awareness is not just about maintaining such awareness by staying abreast of the news; it is about deepening your knowledge about particular commercial concepts too.
Finally, the candidate makes several typographical errors in their answer, specifically, omitting apostrophes when using the possessive case. As previously mentioned, these mistakes can be very costly and cause your application to be rejected. Therefore, it is essential you proofread your work before submission.]
Commercial solicitors will be required to help draft letters and legal documents. Therefore, attention to detail is a fundamental skill for solicitors. Clients will expect flawless documents as minor grammar or spelling mistakes could damage a clients impression of a firm. I have developed attention to detail during my degree, ensuring that my work is kept to a high standard.
[Feedback: This paragraph details some of the candidate’s knowledge of what being a commercial solicitor entails, specifically drafting correspondence and documents. The candidate also relates this to the competency of attention to detail. In principle, the candidate has done well to include this information as it demonstrates to the recruiter that the candidate is aware of some of the work that is expected of a trainee.
The candidate could have improved their paragraph by expanding their discussion of how they have developed their skill of attention to detail and giving some specific, supporting examples. You should avoid writing short paragraphs that attempt to cram in information in your answers. If there is a word limit, the recruiter will be aware of it and, consequently, not expect you to cover every single topic in your response. Depth is always more preferable than breadth, as, without sufficient detail or development, the recruiter will be unable to appreciate whether you actually have said skill or you are just tangentially aware that the skill is needed in the role.
Furthermore, the candidate, again, needed to have proofread their work to avoid making a typographical error. The candidate has missed an apostrophe when writing ‘damage a clients impression of a firm’. Unfortunately, this error is especially egregious as it is in a paragraph where the candidate is discussing their attention to detail and keeping their ‘work […] to a high standard’. Once again, we would recommend proofreading your work before submission, using a spellchecker, and giving your application to a family member or trusted friend to proofread before you submit it.]
Commercial solicitors must always act with honesty and integrity to uphold the high moral code to which all solicitors must abide by. Clients need to be confident that their legal adviser abides by the law and acts in their clients best interests whilst maintaining high ethical standards. I uphold the principles of honesty and integrity at all times. I maintain this in all aspects of my life, I aim to be as open and honest with everyone as possible.
[Feedback: In this section, the candidate highlights that a commercial solicitor must be honest and have integrity and that they have these traits. Whilst the candidate is correct in making this statement, the answer is too short and underdeveloped. The candidate needed to have gone into greater depth about how they have developed these traits and given an example where their honesty or integrity was especially important. We would recommend sticking to a clear structure (such as PEEL, STAR, or CAR) to ensure you write fully developed paragraphs. As it stands, the recruiter will acknowledge that the candidate knows that honesty and integrity are important in the role; however, they may feel unconvinced that the candidate has said skills, as there is no specific, supporting evidence to show them that this is the case.
Additionally, the candidate has made a typographical error in omitting an apostrophe when writing ‘acts in their clients best interests’. Each mistake will drastically increase the chance of your application being rejected, notwithstanding its potentially strong content. You must remember that no allowance is made for international students. All law firms will expect you to have strong written communication skills which will be noted by the recruiter when they read your application.]
Given my increasing development of the requisite skills, my strong work ethic and commitment to commercial law, I believe that I would be a good fit with Bond Dickinson as a trainee solicitor.
[Feedback: Although this is a nice concluding sentence, you should note that it is not required for this kind of answer. We would typically recommend avoiding these kinds of conclusions, simply because it eats into the available word count. The 33 words used for this sentence could be redistributed throughout the answer and used to include additional details and pieces of supporting evidence. We suggest that this use is more likely to improve your answer than the inclusion of a concluding sentence.]
" } }