I regularly champion the Lloyds Scholars programme to future applicants, by targeting individuals from lower income households and providing valuable information in regards to the scheme. Moreover, being College Representative for the Cambridge Law Society indicates my responsible nature, as I must frequently manage relations between Corpus Christi College and the Law Society, as well as assisting with the general management of the society.

[Feedback: The candidate provides some good examples which demonstrate a variety of competencies. To elevate your answer’s quality, you can use these sections (where firms ask you for details regarding awards/extracurriculars/etc.) to evidence core competencies. If you do so, your answer will not only evidence your ‘hard skills’ and achievements but also your soft skills, which, resultantly, will permit you to present a stronger case for why you would be a good trainee at the firm.

As mentioned in the previous answer’s comment, you should try to cram too many points together. Whilst the examples given are appropriate, the candidate could have developed them further (with additional detail, statistics, etc.) and put them in separate paragraphs (as there is no clear link between the two examples).]

In my spare time, I play the piano regularly and am competitive on the sporting front. I also spend my leisure time reading novels, at the moment I am currently enjoying the works of Harper Lee and Marjane Satrapi. Attending debates at the Cambridge Union is an intriguing activity which has enabled a more in-depth understanding of various topics, from Trump’s presidency to the scepticism surrounding mainstream media. Attending such debates also allowed me to identify and develop important public speaking skills and techniques to persuade effectively, which were of assistance for my completion of the Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer Research & Mooting Skills Programme.

[Feedback: Though a little verbose, this answer is very good. The candidate has chosen a range of hobbies that showcase their breadth of intelligence, ability and interests. However, make sure that you remember that not all of your interests have to revolve around something academic or traditional – saying that you like playing football, card games, etc. is completely valid. Law firms want to hire well-rounded individuals who will not only produce excellent work but also contribute to the firm’s social life (and be generally nice to be around!)

As a small point of improvement, the candidate could have reduced their answer’s verbosity and elusiveness. For example, the candidate has written, ‘competitive on the sporting front’. However, the candidate could have written, ‘and compete in [insert sport here] tournaments’ (or something to this effect). Wherever possible, you should be explicit and specific in your writing – for example, rather than saying ‘sport’, state the exact sport.]

At St. Edward’s School, I endorsed a role model image in order to provide the best possible example to those around me. Holding the position of President of the Law Society and Vice-President of the Economics Society enabled me to become aware of the workings of different sectors of society. Leading the Debating Society, as well as my own debating team, provided an opportunity to expand upon already acquired knowledge, and powerfully present my opinions.

[Feedback: This last paragraph is a little weaker than the preceding sections. Whilst the candidate provides some stellar examples, their analysis/development is slightly lacking. When drafting your answers, avoid writing sentences that do not contribute to the answer. For example, the candidate says that leading their own debating team allowed them to ‘powerfully present my opinions’. Such a statement does not actually say very much regarding the candidate’s skills, ability, or their experience. Another example includes, ‘I endorsed a role model image’ – again, this does not provide much substantive content to the candidate’s answer, and the reader may find it challenging to understand what the candidate actually means.

Try to avoid unnecessary sentences in your answer – the temptation can be to add some filler sentences because it feels wrong to write one sentence on an example and then just leave it “tagged on” to the rest of the answer. Instead, if you feel that way, consider that your example requires some substantial development for it actually to be of use in your answer. 

Use the PEE/AL structure (point, evidence, explain/analysis, link) structure to make sure that you relate all your points/evidence back to the question at hand – in this case, the implicit question is, ‘what skills/abilities have you developed through your hobbies/extracurriculars/etc.?’.]

Have you been a part of any professional services support programmes in the last 5 years? Please outline those that you have participated in below – this could include (but is not limited to) mentoring programmes, work experience opportunities, scholarships and diversity access schemes with other organisations. Max 200 words

I am a member of Aspiring Solicitors (AS). After a competitive application process, I was chosen as an Aspire 2023 candidate. The program gave me access to employability workshops that covered the law firm placement process, from applications to assessment centres. Moreover, AS Diversity Law Fairs and networking events with professionals from firms like Clyde & Co, DWF, Goodwin Procter, and Macfarlanes helped me discern specific elements that shape each firm's culture. The events provided insights into work methodologies, collaboration dynamics, D&I initiatives, and overall work environments. These experiences were instrumental in understanding how values, team dynamics, and organisational priorities shape the unique culture of each law firm, offering clarity on what can otherwise be a vague and challenging concept.

In the same vein, I am supported by Rare Recruitment. I was accepted as a Rare candidate after a thorough application process that assessed my commitment to law. With Rare, I have the benefit of receiving tailored application writing, interview, and test support. 

I am also an active member of the Durham Law and Durham Women in Law Society, which has provided me with valuable connections to mentors and a supportive community of aspiring legal professionals.

Feedback: This response effectively outlines the candidate’s active participation in legal and diversity-focused programs. It highlights the candidate's proactive engagement in professional development and networking opportunities, showcasing their commitment to advancing in the field of commercial law. The response demonstrates their strategic approach to understanding and integrating into various firm cultures through targeted networking and learning. The details provided are concise yet sufficient, given the word count.

Please tell us something that not many people know about you

Science, specifically physics, has always been of great interest to me. Moreover, the possibility of grappling with challenging theoretical ideas that have no definitive answer is something that I find really exciting.

Reading of physicists like Planck, Fermi, Bohr and Curie, amongst so many others, constantly inspired me to try to look at ideas from new perspectives with an analytical mind.

It is for this reason that in my final year of secondary school I decided to enter the prestigious Irish BT Young Scientist of the Year competition, which requires students to propose a self-directed science project to be selected to compete at a national final.

Over three months I worked on my proposal entitled ' The Expansion of Space with reference to the Infancy Stages of Collapsing Nebulae and Supernovae. After having been selected by both my school and the BT Committee, I began work on the forty-two-page detailed submission to present to the judges.

I would often be stuck for hours trying to overcome a theoretical obstacle in order to further the hypotheses. These challenges are what made the process so invigorating and exciting.

Additionally, I successfully sought the advice of the renowned physicist Alexei Filippenko of the Berkeley Institute, who greatly aided me in breaking down certain challenges.

I subsequently presented and defended my thesis over three days to different panels of judges and was ultimately awarded the bronze medal in the Senior Physics category.

Feedback: This answer is effective because the candidate presents their chosen example in a compendious manner, following the “CAR” structure (“context”, “action”, “result”). Following such a structure helps you ensure that you paint a sufficiently clear picture of your chosen example to the reader and that you do not leave the reader guessing or making too many assumptions. The candidate also does well to highlight the magnitude of the challenges they encountered and that of the achievement they ultimately obtained: e.g., “a forty-two-page submission”, “I would often be struck for hours”, “I […] defended my thesis over three days”, “I […] was ultimately awarded the bronze medal in the Senior Physics category”, etc. Highlighting such details helps bolster the strength of your application and increase the likelihood of it standing out.

Notwithstanding the fact that this is a successful application, there is room for improvement. To ensure that their answer is as relevant as possible relative to the prompt, the candidate could have dedicated a couple of lines to explaining why not many people know that they entered the physics competition and won a bronze medal as part of it. Furthermore, to ensure that the answer is as easy to follow as possible and cohesive, the candidate could have coupled the lines that deal with the same subject matter into paragraphs. Finally, the candidate’s chosen example per se is hit-or-miss. On the one hand, it is rather impressive and unique (not least because law students are not commonly inclined towards science). On the other hand, it is quite dated; recruiters tend to advise candidates to include personal examples that are relatively recent (between two to three years old). In general, we would recommend that you focus on personal examples dating from your time at university, rather than school.

Please provide details of your interests and extra-curricular activities - including any positions of responsibility you have held at school, university or otherwise - and an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.

An important achievement that I am most proud was competing at a young age in a challenging full scholarship competition held between The Oxford Times and St Edward’s School, and thereby securing the much coveted place to study by being awarded the unique anniversary bursary. This signifies that I am able to endure the pressures of competition and thrive. I continued to demonstrate my willingness to work hard and impress through my position of senior prefect and academic scholar. Holding the position of President of the Law Society and Vice-President of the Economics Society enabled me to become aware of the workings of different sectors of society. I have maintained such enthusiasm throughout my time at university, indicated by being appointed a Lloyds Scholar. I regularly champion the Lloyds Scholars programme to future applicants, by targeting individuals from lower income households and providing valuable information in regards to the scheme.

[Feedback: The candidate has chosen a very impressive academic achievement to write about. Whilst this is a great award, you should remember that you do not need to write about an academic achievement – you may have a personal achievement that is of great importance to you, which is an equally valid topic to write about.

This paragraph, for the most part, is well-written. The candidate has not only mentioned their ‘achievement of importance’ but also uses the example to elaborate on some of their competencies as well as other achievements.

The main point of feedback on this answer is to do with the candidate’s grammar and phraseology. Whilst there are only a few minor grammatical errors (for example, ‘much coveted’ should be hyphenated), the main issue is to do with the unwieldy nature of some of the candidate’s sentences. For example, the first sentence is 45 words long (just under 20% of the answer!). Furthermore, it is unclear what the candidate means by ‘[…] and thereby securing the much coveted place to study by being awarded the unique anniversary bursary […]’ – study where exactly?

Ensure that you do not make similar mistakes – always proofread your work and, if you are unsure whether a sentence is too long or difficult to read, err on the side of caution, and always assume it is (and then rectify it).]

I have become more aware of the issues that are faced by women within the legal industry. Having been selected to attend Shearman & Sterling’s ‘Women in Law Conference’, I quickly became more alert to the obstacles facing women in the legal industry. There has been an increase in the willingness to actively promote inclusivity and equality, but there is still much that can be done. Through my position of College Representative to the Cambridge University Law Society, I aim to organise campaigns to raise awareness of such issues.

[Feedback: This is a simple paragraph, but the candidate has done well to show off one of their interests and keep it relevant to law. However, you should be aware that you do not need to discuss interests/activities that are solely related to law. You may write about any of your interest/extracurricular activities but try and choose ones which will enable you to showcase relevant competencies.

The only issue with this paragraph is a slight lack of specificity. You should remember that all of your answers require the same level of accuracy and specificity. The candidate could have improved their answer by stating exactly what issues they learnt about whilst attending the conference, and specifically what they have done as a College Representative to raise awareness of these issues.]

In my spare time, I play the piano regularly and am competitive on the sporting front. I also spend my leisure time reading novels, at the moment I am currently enjoying the works of Harper Lee and Marjane Satrapi.

[Feedback: In answers such as these, it is fine to have shorter paragraphs. However, you should maintain the quality and specificity of your writing. The candidate’s examples are perfectly fine; however, they are unnecessarily vague. For example, the candidate could have specified what grade they are in piano/whether they play for a band, and/or what sport they play, whether they play for a certain team, and so on.]

Tell us about something - anything - that excites and inspires you. (300 words max)*

Being involved in charitable initiatives excites and inspires me.       

Feedback: This question is unusual because it gives you freedom to talk about nearly anything you want. Your answers do not need to be about law or the commercial sphere (but if either of these truly interest you then please do). Instead, the recruiters want you to talk about any topic and drill down on why that topic excites and inspires you. While you do not need to be explicit in explaining why that correlates with what you might experience at Baker McKenzie, you should consider making subtle references/language points that insinuate motivations you will need at the firm. The recruiters also want you to link the point back to you and demonstrate a clear, reasoned opinion on it.

Here, the candidate answers the question straight away by making the point that charitable initiatives excite and inspire them. To improve, the candidate could write more concisely and in the active voice - “I am excited and inspired by charitable initiatives”.

Volunteering at (NGO) in (Country), I work with underprivileged children to improve their oral and written abilities in English. One of my students has dyslexia and struggles with reading, leading me to research and adjust my teaching to support his learning. Using props to increase sensory awareness, I encouraged him to learn new vocabularies through remembering the different senses respective words trigger. Gradually, he improved from only being able to retain one vocabulary to four per week. It was incredibly fulfilling and exciting to contribute to the student’s journey in overcoming his learning difficulties, particularly whilst witnessing his drive to improve. I found it inspiring that his determination to improve and overcome challenges, led to his steady progress and growing confidence.      

Feedback: The candidate has structured this answer by providing two in-depth examples of their charitable NGO work. Then, the candidate has explained why each of these experiences excited and inspired them in depth. Given the limited word-count, it is far better to make two central points and expand on them in equal depth than it is to make three broad/generalised points. You can also safely use the PEEL structure in answering this question. If you lead by (1) making a point about why the topic excites and inspires you, before (2) providing evidence as to why that point excites/inspires you and explaining how that evidence proves your point, then finally (3) linking your evidence/explanation back to your overarching point (in this case why charitable initiatives excite the candidate), then you will address the key points that graduate recruitment want to see.

Here, the candidate leads in with an example straight away. The example is convincing and specifically relevant to the overarching point. The candidate then substantiates their point further by analysing a specific example of a student they worked with at the NGO. Then, the candidate specifically explains what excited them/inspired them about their work with this NGO.

To improve, the candidate should have re-structured their paragraph so as to address the over-arching question more explicitly. They should have led in with the point (ie “Firstly, I am excited and inspired by charitable initiatives that help underprivileged students improve their oral and written English skills”. Then, the candidate could safely expand on their point by discussing the specific example of a child they worked with. This structure would have helped the candidate address the question more explicitly. 

This year I worked as an (Position) at (NGO). I assisted senior advisors with their client advice sessions regarding benefits, housing and legal support, and was tasked with arranging appointments. I also handled enquiries over the phone, email and walk-in services, ensuring an accessible service in which clients can contact the charity to their convenience. I found the work incredibly illuminating in that I was given the opportunity to learn about people’s personal lives, and the issues that they face. Hearing about a variety of experiences was something I found eye-opening, and I was glad to be able to contribute to resolving concerns. I was also inspired by the charities’ constant drive to support the elderly. The staff worked tirelessly to improve their clients’ circumstances and always maintained a positive mindset. Their passion to help people ignited my desire to make further positive changes for people in need.       

Feedback: Again, this is a decent paragraph overall. The candidate leads with another example of an NGO they have worked at, before addressing what excited and inspired them about this work uniquely. Once again, the candidate should have structured their paragraph so as to address the question directly. They should have led in with a point (ie “Secondly, I am excited and inspired by initiatives that advise people on benefits, housing and legal issues”) before moving onto the specific examples and explanations to substantiate their point.

Though a minor point, the candidate should avoid flowery language such as “passion” and “incredibly illuminating”. It is much better to speak with tempered language (for example “I found the work insightful”). You will need to write to commercial law clients in plain language, so you should demonstrate your ability to do so at every given opportunity.

Please tell us what you consider to be your key achievements and interests to date. (300 words max)*

Winning the (Name of Negotiations Competition) is something I consider a key achievement. Initially, my partner and I found it challenging to compromise when the opposing team made propositions that were far from our clients’ expectations.      

Feedback: This is a brilliant achievement, but the candidate ought to quantify their experience here. All we are told is that the candidate has won a Negotiation Competition but we do not know how many rounds there were, nor how many candidates took part in total. Given the candidate has focused their answer primarily on this achievement, we would need to see further details/quantification. Candidates should always employ specific detail to craft strong, yet concise, paragraphs. If candidates do this, then such details will evidence the core competencies they need to succeed as commercial solicitors.

Further, being in a small team of four, I find it invigorating to be able to take on heavy responsibilities for the sub-committee, as it provides me with opportunities to drive impactful change in improving the overall efficiency in organising competitions for (name of society) members. As much as I enjoyed the results of my hard work, I equally enjoyed the process of building unique working and personal relationships within my team.

Feedback: Given the short word count, candidates need to be hyper-selective in deciding which achievements they wish to discuss. Here, the candidate has identified one achievement. This is a valid approach, particularly as the candidate has already elaborated on another achievement in the previous question. If you decide on breadth over the depth, you should adopt the STAR structure in describing your achievements:

1. What was the context? (ie the situation)

2. What did you have to do? (the task)

3. What did you do in response to that task? (the action)

4. What did you achieve after carrying out those actions? (the result)

The issue with this paragraph is that it is shoe-horned in. It is not clear how the candidate’s leadership position for the society’s subcommittee follows from their discussion of the negotiation competition. It appears that this should be a separate paragraph.

This resulted in us becoming fixated on one issue and unable to negotiate the remaining issues within the time limit. To improve this, I devised a strategy to analyse our client’s priorities and identify our lowest and highest limits as a framework to negotiate within. Implementing this facilitated us winning the competition, and qualified us as (Russell group University London) representatives in the (Name of University Negotiation Competition), where we emerged as champion over three other universities. I attribute my success with strong communication skills and attention to detail, skills which are paramount in meeting client objectives.         

Feedback: Here, the candidate shifts focus back onto the negotiation competition. The candidate offers us insight into the challenges they faced, before identifying the action they took and that it facilitated their winning of the competition. This is generally in line with the STAR structure and it gives recruiters sufficient insight into the candidate’s individual contributions to the achievement.

To improve, the candidate could avoid name-dropping competencies at the end of the paragraph. This is uncalled for by the question. The candidate is also unclear in how they developed attention to detail and communication skills here. While other competencies are obviously present (such as teamwork and an ability to take the initiative), the candidate does not explain how they developed attention to detail. Instead, the candidate should focus on quantifying their achievements in detail before explaining how they achieved each. This is what graduate recruiters are truly looking for in this question.

I enjoy being part of student-led committees to work alongside my peers. As (Position) for the (Russell Group University London Society), I am responsible for signing up judges for student competitions and selecting the most suitable candidates based on experience and interest. Due to the large volume of sign-ups, I faced difficulty in screening all applications within the strict timeline. This was especially challenging as I was organising the competitions remotely on an eight hour time difference. As such, I implemented (name of software) to accelerate the selection process, where the automated CV and application screening functions facilitated efficient identification of suitable candidates.

Feedback: This is a nice addition to the answer. It demonstrates key competencies that the candidate could not mention elsewhere, such as leadership, comfort in positions of responsibility, the ability to devise innovative solutions, and so on.

Once again, the candidate would do well to highlight specific details about their achievement here. To what did the competition relate? How many people signed up and how did the candidate’s decisions improve the overall quality of the competition? It is always best to ‘show’ competencies in questions like this by providing detailed, specific examples of your achievements rather than to spell them out to the recruiter. Here, the candidate could have just provided specific details of their achievements in this position instead of spelling out the challenges they faced in detail.

Please give details of your extra-curricular activities and interests including any positions of responsibility. (250 Words)

As an avid football player, I founded and trained the [redacted] Football neighbourhood team. During my university summer vacation, I returned to [redacted location] to train the all-girls teams. My job as founder and trainer is actively working with people to plan training schedules and decide on practice locations before all tournaments. By collaborating and actively listening to my team, I developed a more robust skill set in team organisation.

[Feedback: This is a well-constructed answer. It follows a PEE/AL structure and goes the extra step of linking the experience to a competency. Just be mindful of tenses when writing answers similar to this one. If you are discussing an experience that is in the past, refrain from describing what you did in the role in the present tense.]

As the secretary of my university’s Jessup mooting team, I organised meetings and scheduled all internal deadlines. To do this effectively, I used the ‘divide and conquer’ approach and delegated the work among my teammates. I set out both individual, and team deadlines in an excel spreadsheet, and weekly meetings to track progress and establish an avenue for my team to raise individual concerns. This proved helpful when one member voiced out that he was struggling to cope. To help him, we mutually agreed to disseminate the remaining work, and through the use of the excel spreadsheet, efficiency was attained. As a result, we managed to meet all our deadlines.

[Feedback: Like the previous answer, this answer benefits from clarity and specificity. However, be mindful of the question at hand – although this answer is technically fine, this section of the application just wants you to detail your experiences. Although some explicit detail/argumentation is fine, be careful of doing too much, as it will limit you from mentioning other experiences you have.

As an aside, be mindful of the language you use. Where possible, avoid idioms and write explicitly what you mean.]

Additionally, I have consistently been volunteering for ‘7 cups’ which is a site dedicated to helping at-risk individuals who are mostly suicidal. My role is to actively listen, ask questions, and advise individuals on how to tackle these problems. I have received a few awards such as the Active Listener award, Loyal Friend award and the Open-Door award. Through this, I have learned how to listen actively and influence them positively.

[Feedback: This is a strong example and deals with a sensitive topic well. The context for the example is clear, and the candidate is specific with her achievements. The last sentence could have been universalised and made less clunky – ‘Through this, I have helped individuals improve their lives and further developed my active-listening skills’.

Please give details of your extra-curricular activities and interests including any positions of responsibility. (250 words)

One of my favourite pastimes is music. Having obtained Grade 8 and Grade 6 ABRSM certificates for the piano and violin respectively, I continue to play and sing for leisure and occasionally perform at events such as the Kingston and Korean festivals.

Feedback: This answer benefits from both concise writing and specific details. Given the tight word count and the need to address a variety of extra-curricular activities/interests, the candidate does well to outline their musical interests concisely and quantify their achievements. We believe that you should not underestimate your sporting, musical and wider extracurricular interests.  Many candidates neglect said achievements without realising that they can make you seem like a well-rounded person with valuable transferable skills.

I received a full scholarship from the British Council to learn Mandarin at the China University of Geosciences for four months. Since then, I have continued to develop my Mandarin competency by enrolling in weekly evening classes at [redacted university] and as such, have reached a low intermediate level.

Feedback: Once again, this is a concise and well-structured answer. We are given a succinct insight into how the candidate began learning Mandarin, before we are told how the candidate continues to improve their skills to this day. As with the previous paragraph, you should not underestimate your achievements in learning languages.

At [redacted university], I was a part of the Model United Nations (MUN) society, where delegates would gather to debate on world issues. After having won the Commended Delegate Award out of 50 delegates at the Cambridge University Model United Nations conference for my diplomatic debating skills, I applied to chair one of the committees at the [redacted university] MUN conference. After an application and interview process, I became the head chair for the Special Political and Decolonisation committee with two other chairs. Firstly, I led the chair team by delegating the drafting of the topic guides that needed to be distributed to our committee of 30 delegates before their arrival. Once the delegates arrived, I taught the procedural rules of the debate to the delegates. I led and facilitated the debate as well as assessing the delegates’ performances. I enjoyed building a friendly environment for delegates to network with others from all around the world whilst building their debating skills.

Feedback: As with the previous paragraphs, this section benefits from specificity as well as clarity of writing. However, you should be mindful of the question being asked. Though this answer is technically fine, this question just wants you to describe your experiences and activities. Though some detail/argumentation is fine, you must be careful not to write in too much detail as you will not have space to discuss other valuable experiences. For example, the candidate is forced to write about some extracurricular activities in the next section because they do not have enough space here.

You should note that the candidate uses specific numbers to add detail to their examples. We know (1) that the candidate won an award out of 50 delegates and (2) that the candidate chaired a committee of 30 delegates. These specific details make the candidate’s examples far more convincing overall.

You should also note how the candidate writes in the active voice throughout their answer. This makes the candidate’s writing easier for recruiters to comprehend, as well as making it more persuasive and impactful overall.

How do you like to spend your free time when you are not studying or working? (200 words)

I have enjoyed playing hockey over the last year, training and playing matches with my local club. It is a great way to wind down after work, meet new people and keep fit. I feel it is important to maintain this balance as it means I can come to the office with a positive mind set, able to fully focus on my work. I successfully completed Tough Mudder this year; a ten-kilometre run with various obstacles such as electric wires and mud mounds. Thoroughly enjoying this challenge, I have also signed up to a half marathon. These challenges are often extremely difficult but always worth the effort. It will be extremely tough but I am hoping the training will pay off and it will be a great achievement.

Recently, I have also enjoyed completing several escape rooms. I have found they are a great way to encourage you to think outside the box to solve puzzles and figure out how to escape. It has developed my problem-solving skills and is also a fun activity to do with friends and family.

[Feedback This answer gives the reader a glimpse into the candidate’s personal interests/ hobbies, which makes them appear more genuine and human. The candidate does well to provide the reader with brief explanations regarding their motivation for pursuing the different activities that they mention. At the same time, the activities themselves serve as good examples because they are varied, thereby suggesting that the candidate is a robust, well-rounded individual. Furthermore, you should not that these activities are not so common as to make the answer forgettable, nor are they so outlandish as to make your answer disingenuous or unrelatable.

You have told us about your academic achievements and work experience and now, in no more than 600 words, we are keen to hear more about you. This should include your extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility and an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.

[Feedback: Clifford Chance changed its application form in 2018/19.  Rather than several short answers, candidates are asked to write a longer-form answer.  This is similar to the Freshfields and Slaughter and May’s application forms.  Longer word counts provide less inherent structure for candidates to follow.  This leads to greater differentiation between candidates’ quality of responses. 

In order to write an effective answer, you should:

• Carefully think through what you want to say by bullet-pointing a draft answer before you put pen to paper.  Clarity of writing usually follows clarity of thought.  Think of what you want to say, then say it as simply as possible
• Notwithstanding the longer word count, write as succinctly as possible.  Avoid long, essay-style sentences.  If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out
• Carefully structure individual paragraphs, utilising the PEE framework (more on this below).] 

I enjoy voluntary charity work. For instance, I undertook [major accountancy firm’s corporate] challenge, during which I led a sub-team of four to raise money for [redacted] charity, beginning with a seed fund of £1. As the leader, I organised family fundraising days, car washes, and bake sales to raise money and I visited local entrepreneurs asking for donations as the charity aided those in third world countries attempting to set up their own businesses. My team and I raised £3000+ in one month and successfully secured a work placement with [major accountancy firm].

[Feedback: This is a great achievement, but the candidate could improve the structure of this paragraph.  Like the candidate, you should put achievements in context.  It’s meaningless to say you were awarded a scholarship; you must say “X scholarship awarded to the top 4 students out of a class of 1,000 students”.  In this case, the candidate states the name of the challenge and the amount of money raised for charity, which helps the reviewer distinguish this from lesser efforts.  The accountancy firm enjoys significant name recognition - winning an internship at the firm as a result of this challenge is an achievement.

Rather than diving straight into the answer, we would add a short upfront paragraph to signpost what we are going to talk about.  This “answer first” mentality helps the reviewer follow your logic.]

As for positions of responsibility, this includes being a Student Representative for students on my degree, so they have a point of access for any aid they need. I am also currently a Student Ambassador and aid the [non-Law] department with prospective students and parents. With the former role, I regularly attend departmental meetings wherein I represent course students' views. Though the department is small, wider student inclusion is low but with my idea of setting up socials such as a pizza party, this has improved marginally.

[Feedback This paragraph is less good.  It’s better to provide a single, developed example instead of listing a series of accomplishments or positions of responsibility.  If you want to allude to the varied experience that you have, pitch it as “In addition to my extracurricular roles as student representative for my degree programme and captain of my university college tennis club, I acted as the vice president of my university’s law society.  In this role, I…”.

It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that this candidate has not had many substantive positions of responsibility.  You should get involved in at least one significant position of responsibility while at university.  You can then refer back to your responsibilities in this role as examples of how you developed attributes which law firms value, such as organisational ability, communication skills, commercial outlook and teamwork.

Finally, don’t do yourself down.  The candidate notes that the impact of their initiative was marginal.  If you don’t value it, why should anyone else?  This is not the time for modesty.  While you should not make any outlandish or unsubstantiated claims, you must not undersell yourself.]

My greatest achievement to date is having secured an offer to study [non-law course] at the University of [redacted] whilst at Sixth Form. The Sixth Form I attended had only opened five years earlier when I applied in 2016, so courses offered by the Sixth Form were limited. Moreover, due to the majority of students, myself included, coming from a financially deprived, first generation and ethnic minority background, undertaking STEM subjects at an A-Level standard was encouraged. I, myself had little guidance and assumed taking majority STEM subjects at A-Level would be the best idea as it ensured a guaranteed financially stable job, if pursued career wise. However, mid-way through my first year of A-Levels, I realised my mistake and that my actual passion was in the Humanities and Social Sciences. I failed a few STEM related A-Levels due to this, and then retook my A-Levels with subjects I was truly passionate about, and therefore achieved far superior grades. When it came to the university application process, I decided to apply to the University of [redacted], despite having a few U grades, but knowing I had become a strong candidate.

However, I had no connections to the university and my Sixth Form also had no prior history of students applying to Oxbridge, let alone students getting offers. Getting through the process was based on my own hard work, pure ambition and all the research I undertook. The offer to study then, was based on an assessed piece of written work, three interviews and ultimately academic and extra-curricular excellence. In the lead up to my application, I ensured work in all subjects I was studying was consistently at the top of the class, as well as reading outside of the subjects to provide me with a wider perspective. As well as this, I consistently undertook various charitable roles such as raising money for charity and peer support roles such as mentoring students in lower years. These roles were conducted within and outside of the academic setting. It was due to this determination of mine to succeed, that the university was able to note how I improved my grades drastically after having chosen subjects I thoroughly enjoyed and noted I was a well-rounded candidate. As a result of my strong testing throughout the process, [redacted] College offered me an undergraduate place to study, with one of the professors emailing me personally to let me know in one of the interviews, all three interviewers were impressed. 

[Feedback: This is a very personal example which probably made all of the difference to this application. 

Law firms are conscious of the need to promote diversity within the legal profession.  The candidate is right to emphasise his or her background as someone that is typically underrepresented.  This helps provide wider context on the candidate’s grades, but also explains specifically why the achievement is impressive.  Ultimately, if the candidate is borderline, Graduate Recruitment are likely to grant them the benefit of the doubt and invite for an interview based on this context.

While the achievement itself is impressive, the structure of the answer needs work.  We generally recommend the Point, Evidence and Explanation framework where you want to provide evidence of 2 - 3 different attributes.  In this case, the Situation, Task, Action, Result and Takeaway framework works better.  We would structure this answer as follows:

●      Situation - Explain background to provide context on why winning a place at Oxbridge was especially difficult

●      Task - Split this into two sub-tasks:

○      Successfully switch to A-Levels which you are more suited to

○      Successfully apply to Oxbridge

●      Action - Explain what you did differently to improve your results.  It’s unlikely to just be the result of passion, so explain how you applied yourself differently and the obstacles that you overcame (if any in addition to your background) which enabled you to achieve your goals

●      Results - Link to objective proof of your accomplishments (i.e. (1) academic grades achieved, (2) place at Oxbridge and (3) personal follow-up from tutor)

●      Takeaway - Identify what you learnt as a result of this experience. 

○      We suggest the key lesson here is that pursuing subjects and goals that you are well-suited to and therefore likely to become passionate about is a fruitful strategy for success. 

○      You can use your final sentence to link back to your pursuit of a career in law, summing up why you are well-suited to it and evidencing your passion in one succinct sentence.

Overall, this is a good but imperfect application.  Combined with strong grades and relevant work experience, it is right that it was successful.  However, there are some improvement points which, if made, would really elevate this application to the next level.]

You have told us about your academic achievements and work experience and now, in no more than 600 words, we are keen to hear more about you. This should include your extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility and an achievement of importance which you are most proud of.
 600/600 words

My proudest achievement stems from my involvement in my university's Brass Band. As concert manager, I saw the need to raise additional funds for the society to allow us to expand our ability to teach students to play brass for free, something for which there is significant demand at the university. I took the initiative to organise 18 carolling events involving all 45 band members, which took place over a two-week period. In organising the events, I placed an emphasis on maintaining pre-existing relationships with retailers, as well as personally seeking out new opportunities to extend our fundraising capabilities. For example, I contacted the local council regarding playing at their Christmas market and negotiated our place as the headline act on the opening evening. One of the largest challenges I faced arose when one of our key venues, which had previously been responsible for over 60% of our revenue, informed me a week before our first event that they could no longer accommodate us due to building works. However, having developed a bank of contacts in the community, I was able to utilise these, organising multiple events at the last minute. Having three events running simultaneously on some evenings meant it was necessary to ensure that everyone was in the right place, at the right time. By efficiently communicating with other members of the bands committee, I was able to ensure that transport and equipment were always confirmed and organised well ahead of the performances, meaning there were no problems on the night. Due to my abilities as concert manager, the band performed more events than ever before, raising over £3,600, a £2,000 increase on previous years.

[Feedback: With only 600 words to use, you should be mindful of how many words you allocate to each topic of discussion. The question itself suggests a particular structure, namely, discussing your:

1. extra-curricular activities;

2. positions of responsibility; and

3. an achievement of importance which you are most proud of. 

We recommend sticking to these topics and dividing them equally, such that you spend approximately 200 words per area. This will allow you to answer the question in a balanced and structured manner.

In this first paragraph, the candidate addresses the third point: their proudest achievement. Overall, the candidate has done well, especially concerning their structure. These kinds of responses require a situation, task, action, result (‘STAR’) structure or a context, action, result (‘CAR’) structure. The main difference between the two structures is that the ‘context’ in the CAR structure covers what the STAR structure splits up over ‘situation’ and ‘task’. Both structures first aim to set out the necessary background information and describe a problem you must overcome. Then, you should discuss what you did to overcome this problem and the overall result.

The candidate’s answer is an excellent example of the implementation of the STAR/CAR structure. You should note that the first two sentences quickly establish the necessary context to understand the candidate’s answer. They describe not only what their role was but also what their task was. Importantly, they explain why their task was necessary. This helps the recruiter understand the magnitude of the situation and makes your answer more persuasive. The candidate goes on to describe some specific problems they faced in their role and how they overcame them. Crucially, at the end of their answer, the candidate describes the result of their actions. You should not forget this last point: it is essential to stress why your actions were important and whether they were effective or meaningful.

The candidate also does well in providing specific detail to substantiate their argument. For instance, the candidate uses specific statistics throughout their answer. You should notice that the candidate specifies the number of carolling events and band members, the percentage of revenue that a venue was responsible for, the number of simultaneous events running, and the raw increase in the amount of money raised compared to the previous years. This not only makes the answer more colourful and engaging but also makes the answer more believable.

You should remember not to assume that the recruiter will infer things in your favour – if the candidate had made a broad claim that their actions increased the amount of money raised compared to previous years without providing the exact figures, the recruiter could instead assume that they only made an insignificant amount more. Therefore, do not leave it up to chance; you must include specific details to show off your achievements and make your answer as engaging as possible.

Finally, this candidate has done very well in incorporating multiple ‘task’ sections in their answer while still keeping their answer readable. You should note that the candidate mentions two key problems or ‘tasks’ that the candidate needed to tackle: the need to raise additional funds and the issue regarding an important venue pulling out. The candidate manages to deal with two issues in one answer, as the latter issue is nested within the first. The overarching issue is the need to raise funds; however, in the candidate’s attempt to solve that issue, the problem regarding the venue was precipitated.

This is an excellent way to discuss a personal experience that involves multiple challenges. However, if you decide to mirror this candidate’s approach, you must ensure that you return to the overarching problem and conclude the answer appropriately. In this instance, the candidate describes how they resolved the venue issue before describing the results of their actions and how they managed to raise more money than in previous years (resolving the broader issue they first raised).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise with some of their descriptions and claims. Broadly speaking, whilst the candidate has included a good level of detail in their answer, some of their writing is overly vague. For instance, the candidate does not take the opportunity to name certain institutions and organisations. Whilst this may seem like a minor point to criticise, the inclusion of this detail would have helped the overall credence of this answer and made it more relatable to the recruiter. For example, the candidate could have specified the council they contacted (such as Hampshire County Council) instead of writing' the local council'. Similarly, the candidate could have given an example of some of the ‘retailers’ they had ‘pre-existing relationships’ with.

Similarly, the candidate writes that they ‘negotiated ‘ with the local county council, and ‘[b]y efficiently communicating with other members’ they ensured that there were no problems on the night. These statements could have done with some more substantiating evidence. Instead of simply claiming that they ‘negotiated’, it would have been good to see some examples of how they negotiated with the council. Likewise, instead of the candidate merely writing that they ‘efficiently communicat[ed]’, they could have explained how they did so and given an example of what they did. It is always best to show the recruiter rather than to tell the recruiter: personal evidence and explanation not only make part of your claim for you but also simultaneously prove it.

Finally, the candidate could have provided one or two sentences at the end of their answer to explain why they are ‘most proud’ of this achievement. Whilst the achievement is undoubtedly impressive, the candidate could have been more explicit in their reasons for selecting this answer in particular. You should remember to use the terms of the question in your responses; by doing so, you will ensure that the recruiter sees that you answer the question directly.]

In addition, I am an active member of the university Law Society, with particular involvement in the Commercial Negotiation Competition. The competition has vastly improved my commercial awareness, as the negotiations were based upon business news stories, and a strong understanding of these was necessary to succeed. Having never met my partner before the competition, we had to quickly form a working relationship and decide the best way to divide the negotiation points, demonstrating teamwork and adaptability. We went on to win the first-year competition, and I have subsequently been asked to sit on the sub-committee and judge this years negotiations. I have also taken it upon myself to mentor several new teams, teaching them how to structure their points, and build their commercial acumen.

[Feedback:In this section, the candidate shifts to discussing a position of responsibility. For these kinds of responses, you may adopt a STAR or CAR structure or instead choose a point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link (‘PEEL’) structure. The candidate appears to have gone with a CAR-like structure in this instance.

The candidate has done well to write clearly and succinctly, detailing not only what their role was but also some specific things they undertook in the position. You should note how the partner goes into a particular experience that they had as part of the Law Society. This is excellent and helps to make the answer more engaging and persuasive. You should remember that the recruiter does not know you personally; therefore, any detailed examples you provide help them build a better picture of who you are and why you would make a good trainee solicitor.

The candidate also highlights multiple competencies in their answer. These kinds of responses allow you to show off your best traits. Hence, although the response is focused on a position of responsibility, the candidate has taken the opportunity to show what their occupation of that position says about them and what skills they developed in the role. For instance, the candidate writes that as part of their engagement in the Law Society’s Commercial Negotiation Competition, they ‘vastly improved my commercial awareness’, and they were able to demonstrate ‘teamwork and adaptability’. This is excellent as the recruiter will not find your positions of responsibility impressive on their own. Instead, the competencies which you can show or develop via the roles are what they are interested in.

Finally, the candidate does very well in ending their response by mentioning what they did after their experience. This is a nice end to the answer as it shows that the candidate’s interest in negotiations and the Law Society is more than a superficial interest. Furthermore, by describing that they took on a mentorship position, the candidate demonstrates further competencies: leadership and the ability to teach. You should look to describe what your experiences led you to do, where possible. The recruiter wants to see evidence that you are actually interested in something. The best way to prove this is to show that you took the initiative and found another related experience to further your interest.

To further improve this answer, the candidate could have given some more details about how they accomplished what they claimed. For instance, the candidate writes that they ‘had to quickly form a working relationship and decide the best way to divide the negotiation points’. However, they do not go into any detail as to what steps they actually undertook to achieve this. Once again, you should always provide substantiating evidence for everything you write. If you leave out this detail, you risk the recruiter becoming disinterested in or sceptical of your work.

Finally, the candidate should have been mindful of making typographical errors. In their penultimate sentence, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing ‘judge this years negotiations’. Be careful of making these kinds of mistakes. The process of getting a training contract or vacation scheme is incredibly competitive due to the increasing number of applicants. Therefore, recruiters are less forgiving of typographical errors. Whilst such a mistake may not necessarily lead to an instant rejection of your application, some recruiters discard applications if they see an error, even if the candidate has provided strong answers. Hence, you should proofread your work using Microsoft Word’s spellchecker or Grammarly to identify hard-to-spot mistakes. You can also give your application to a trusted family member or friend to proofread your answers. Typographical errors are easy to make and easy to rectify; however, if they are found in your work, you risk your application being unduly rejected.]

In my further role on the Law Society non-law committee, I work to help facilitate access into the legal profession for non-law students, and increase their participation in Law Society events. This includes being the Law Society representative for 1,500+ Politics students. I am their first port of call for any queries about entering the legal profession. Most notably within this role, I helped organise and publicise a law for non-law panel event which saw trainees from eight different firms who studied non-law degrees speaking about their experiences to over 100 students from a range of backgrounds, encouraging them to enter the profession.

[Feedback: For a short, 100-word response, this section includes a good amount of detail. The candidate discusses another position of responsibility; however, in this section, they adopt a PEEL-like structure. You should note how the candidate discusses their role before giving an example of what they did in the role. This example helps to flesh out the candidate’s answer and proves that the role is more than a title. Furthermore, the candidate includes a substantial level of detail in their answer. The candidate specifies the number of Politics students they represent, the number of firms represented on the panel they organised, and the attendance number. These are excellent statistics to have included as they evidence the magnitude of the candidate’s responsibility and the impressiveness of their actions.

It is challenging to suggest points of improvement for this answer. Like the section below, the candidate does not have many words to dedicate to this section. Therefore, the candidate must necessarily be brief in their descriptions. However, you should note that whilst the candidate cannot expound on more examples of their work, they do not compromise on detail and include at least one piece of detailed, elucidatory evidence. Hence, this answer should serve as a model for how to give a good response even where the word count is less than accommodating.]

Outside of academia, I am also heavily involved in sports. As well as competing for the university horse riding team, I am the Equestrian Club Social Secretary. My role entails organising up to three socials a week for as many as 80 people, from meals out to weekend trips. I have also created a marketing campaign centred on inclusivity and maximising participation, which has led to a 35% increase in membership. In addition, I also train 10 times a week as a member of the university rowing performance squad, travelling around the country for competitions.

[Feedback: In this final section, the candidate discusses their extra-curricular activities. The candidate does well to include a lot of information about their activities, given the dwindling word count. You should note that the candidate continues to provide specific examples regarding their experiences and includes statistics. This is excellent and demonstrates the candidate’s commitment to an activity beyond casual interest. Whilst you may have many interests outside of academia, you should be prepared to evidence your commitment to them. Recruiters are looking for a genuine interest in an area that is substantiated either with significant achievement (for example, being a county-level Rugby player) or by considerable commitment (as this candidate has written about).

For your own answers, you should be prepared to discuss activities that do not have any relation to the law or academia. This candidate has chosen to focus their discussions on sport; however, you may have other hobbies or extra-curricular activities that you are passionate about. You should not feel embarrassed to discuss them, provided you have supporting evidence. You must remember that law firms are looking to hire well-rounded, interesting individuals. Intelligence is essential; however, having interests outside of work is becoming increasingly significant for candidates.

There are very few points of improvement for this section. The candidate had spent most of their word count on addressing other topics and could only spend 95 words on this section. Whilst we would suggest balancing your word count more evenly across your entire response, the candidate has done well despite the brevity of this section in including relevant points and a healthy amount of detail.]

Please tell us about interests and activities you pursue and positions of responsibility that are relevant for the role. (300) (295)

At university, I worked as a volunteer tutor for [redacted tutoring agency], an educational charity which provides supplementary tuition to disadvantaged children. I gave weekly lessons to Syrian refugee children at their school in [redacted English city]. My pupils had undergone traumatic experiences prior to arriving in the UK and their English was poor, which held them back at school.

Feedback:  With these typical “positions of responsibility” questions, you can adopt a straightforward approach. We recommend that you follow the CAR structure in each paragraph. You should (1) contextualise your position by summarising your key duties, (2) explain what actions/steps you took as part of your role and (3) identify any specific/detailed outcomes as a result of your work during this position. You should identify any extracurricular activity that developed skills transferable to the legal profession, before explaining each one concisely.

The candidate has described the context/actions concisely. To improve, the candidate could have provided a specific and quantified outcome of their work for Syrian refugee children. Had the candidate provided a specific achievement (e.g. they improved the children’s exam pass rates/English skills by X amount), then their work would appear even more impressive to the recruiter.

I played rugby for the university. I was the only novice in a team of experienced players and had to show extra dedication, with daily training sessions, in order to reach the required standard. I was named Coach's Player of the Year for the 2018/19 season. Playing competitive rugby has taught me the importance of resilience and performing under pressure.

Feedback:  The candidate has done particularly well in contextualising their position here. By explaining that they were the only novice in the team, the candidate has added gravity and persuasive value to their achievements. We also like that the candidate has quantified their achievement with a specific and named award. This is an improvement on the previous paragraph because it demonstrates a precise, tangible outcome flowing from the candidate’s actions.

It would have been helpful for the candidate to explain their actions in more detail. We are only told that the candidate showed “extra dedication” by attending “daily training sessions”, with no further insight into how the candidate committed themselves to rugby. Had the candidate been more selective in identifying positions of responsibility, then they could have provided more impressive detail on this paragraph.

As Student Director for the [redacted university legal advice clinic], I lead a team of volunteers manning the phone lines and answering email enquiries. Meeting with clients to understand their legal issues and providing written advice has helped me improve my communication and drafting skills.

At [redacted], I was promoted early to project lead. Working directly with clients, I learned to think more commercially about the deals I was supporting and how our service could be tailored to meet their needs. I helped to customise our standard product to help a PE firm acquiring a major music publisher under an accelerated timetable.

Feedback: These two paragraphs suffer similar strengths and weaknesses. Both paragraphs do well to contextualise each position and drill down on the actions/responsibilities of the candidate in detail. In turn, this gives the recruiter a complete picture of the candidate’s position and their responsibilities as part of it.

As with previous paragraphs, this section suffers because the candidate does not provide any quantified or detailed achievements as a result of their actions. This makes the candidate’s writing quite bland and descriptive in these final paragraphs. As a rule, you should not only describe your positions of responsibility but also explain precisely what you achieved during them.

Please outline your main interests and social activities, including any positions of responsibility you currently hold (or have recently held).

At University, I receive a Vice Chancellor's Scholarship, in recognition of my musical achievements. I am the elected Publicity Officer and Leader of my University Orchestra, which involves publicising concerts and assessing strategies to attract audiences through analysing and adapting to consumer trends. I thoroughly enjoy the teamwork in making music; committing and leading weekly rehearsals has enabled me to truly value hard work.

[Feedback:  This section focuses on the candidate’s interest in music. You should note how the candidate does not merely state that they have an interest in music. Instead, they show the recruiter their interest by citing evidence of their achievements and activities related to music.

Although the question does not ask the candidate explicitly to mention any competencies, you should notice how the candidate weaves in mentions of some competencies, including strategic thinking, organisation, determination, and teamwork. Whilst your answer should focus on describing your main interests, social activities and positions of responsibility and explaining what you have done, you should ensure that you include some mentions of particular competencies. This question is not just about your achievements and interests in themselves; it also concerns what they say about you and what competencies you have.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have given some specific examples to substantiate some of their statements. For example, the candidate writes that their role involved ‘publicising concerts and assessing strategies to attract audiences through analysing and adapting to consumer trends’. However, several questions are subsequently raised. How did the candidate collect data on the trends? What kind of analysis did they do? To answer these, the candidate should have given an example of what such analysis looked like in practice. You should always include these kinds of examples in your answer, as without them, you risk the recruiter finding your claims unpersuasive or simply not believable.

Finally, be wary of spelling and grammatical errors. In this instance, ‘university’ does not need to be capitalised as the candidate is not referring to a name. Ensure that you thoroughly proofread your work before submission. If you have any questions about spelling or grammar that a spellchecker cannot answer for you, consider referring to ‘English Language & Usage Stack Exchange’.]

I volunteer by tutoring English which is rewarding as I help students achieve their goals through offering solutions to their problems. Moreover, teaching violin has developed my professionalism, communication and flexibility with my teaching methods.

[Feedback:  This short paragraph addresses the candidate’s volunteering and teaching. You should notice that the candidate continues to mention how their activities relate to various competencies. You should do this in your answers; however, ensure that you do not overdo it. If you have a list of competencies, like where the candidate writes ‘professionalism, communication and flexibility’, your delivery will come across as rather forced and unpersuasive. You should not just list competencies but also show the recruiter how the activity or interest has developed such competencies.

Whilst this paragraph does raise two valuable activities to the recruiter’s attention, it is too short and underdeveloped. It would have been better to focus on either the volunteering or the teaching and go into more detail about one of those activities than to mention both.

You should remember that the question has a 250-word answer limit. Therefore, the recruiter will not expect you to cram everything that you have done into your answer. The question specifically asks you to select your main interests. Therefore, you should leave some of your more minor activities out and use the word count to go into more depth with respect to your interests that you are more passionate about.]

I embrace all opportunities through being the Head of Publicity of the Fashion Show to working on the [redacted] University Charities Committee, leading events to raise awareness on topics such as mental health and social inequality. As the Entertainment Senior of the Ball Committee, I am individually responsible for organising Entertainment for College Balls and deal with a budget of over £20,000 which hosts 500 guests. This role is demanding and requires intense commitment and adaptability.

[Feedback:  This paragraph covers some of the positions of responsibility that the candidate has at university. The candidate should be commended for including specific information with respect to their position as ‘the Entertainment Senior of the Ball Committee’. You should observe how the candidate cites specific facts and statistics to substantiate their answer: ‘a budget of over £20,000 which hosts 500 guests’. As with all of your answers, you should always include this kind of information. For these kinds of responses, it gives the recruiter a better sense of what you have achieved in your position of responsibility (and, therefore, why a mention of said position is notable).

To improve this section, the candidate should have provided some specific facts and statistics to accompany the mention of their role as ‘the Head of Publicity of the Fashion Show’. For instance, the candidate writes that they led ‘events to raise awareness on topics such as mental health and social inequality’. They should have also given an example of a specific event that they ran, how many people attended and what the ultimate outcome of the event was.

Furthermore, in the last sentence, the candidate needed to show how their role elicited the mentioned competencies of ‘commitment and adaptability’ from them. Although you should mention competencies in these kinds of answers, you must show how your interest or activity developed or evidenced them. If you simply list competencies in abstraction, the recruiter is unlikely to give you full credit, and they will have some doubt as to the accuracy of your claim.]

At school, I received the [redacted] Memorial Prize, peer-nominated and awarded to the person who best served the school. I was the Vice Dance President and successfully organised a performance showcase involving 100 students. On top of Community Service work, I also founded a Law Society, where I hosted weekly meetings and discussions about relevant news topics. I enjoyed creating a platform to discuss legal developments whilst engaging younger students to do so in the process.

[Feedback:  In this paragraph, the candidate discusses their activities at school. Overall, this paragraph is strong. Since these activities and achievements took place prior to university, there is no reason to go into great detail about each of them. The candidate touches on each achievement or activity, giving some detail but remaining concise.

You should notice how the candidate continues to incorporate specific detail into their answer. The candidate specifies that their award was ‘peer-nominated’ and how many students they involved in their performance showcase. Furthermore, the candidate provides a small reflection on what they enjoyed about setting up the Law Society. These are all excellent pieces of information that, whilst they are short, help to give a clear picture of the candidate’s track record prior to university.

You should remember that your achievements, positions of responsibility and interests before university are still valuable. Although you should focus most of your word count on discussing more recent events, law firms still want to see evidence of a track record of achievement. Candidates that have a long history of achievement are more likely to be the genuine article, and law firms will often be interested in seeing how you have continued to be successful from school to university.]

Please detail any extra-curricular activities and leisure interests, including any relevant responsibilities and achievements.

I was awarded the [redacted] Prize 2020 for obtaining the highest grades throughout the academic year and consequently being ranked 1/17 in my class.

I was selected to partake in a [redacted University] two year long feasibility study for Mandarin as a secondary school subject. Subsequently, having received the highest result in Ireland, I was asked to return in an administrative capacity which has involved helping current secondary level students begin their education of both Chinese language and culture in conjunction with the [redacted] Business School.

During my year studying at [Y University], I was awarded the Certificat Supérieur de Droit International et European for my results.

Furthermore, I am passionate about competing in French Legal Mooting competitions and debates. In 2018 my teammate and I were fortunate enough to win the Irish National Intervarsity in [Z University]!

I acted as the Treasurer of the [redacted University] French Society between 2018 and 2019.

As a result of my Irish Leaving Certificate results, I was awarded the 2017 [redacted] Scholarship.

Orienteering is something which has grown to occupy a large part of my life and I now compete with my Irish teammates at events all around Europe. It involves a mixture of cross country running and map reading in rough terrains!

I was awarded the [redacted College] of the Year Award 2014 for achieving 10 Higher Level As in the Irish Junior Certificate (99th Percentile).

Feedback: This answer is effective because it has a clear, chronological structure that enables the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease despite the number of extra-curricular activities and leisure interests it includes. Furthermore, the candidate has chosen a wide variety of extra-curricular activities, which suggests that they are a well-rounded person – a quality on which Debevoise & Plimpton places a great deal of emphasis.

On a different note, we would strongly advise against using exclamation marks and colloquial language in your answers because it is unprofessional.

Please state your non-academic activities and interests indicating any positions of responsibility held and any particular achievements you would like to mention. (300 words)

Three years of varsity boxing has taught me several lessons beyond the art of boxing. The discipline and commitment to training and dieting, while juggling studies and other obligations. I adopted rigorous schedules to ensure these expectations were met. Often, I attended 3-hour training sessions, 5 times a week. While a fight by nature concerns two individuals, I was part of a greater team: our coach, my training partners and teammates. I grew to appreciate the mental focus to defending against punches and to exploit openings and the resilience to get back on my feet and to refocus on the next round. By the end of my time at [non-London Russell Group university], I had won 4 out of 5 bouts against other universities.

[Feedback: This question is a great opportunity for you to discuss your exploits outside of your academics, and the pursuit of your career. Many candidates tend to neglect this part of the application form or write lacklustre answers as they feel that the question is less important than the other sections of the application. This is not true, and, in many cases, it is your answer to this section that will result in you being successful or not, as the case may be.

The candidate’s example is a good one as it highlights some of the core competencies that law firms look for in prospective trainees. By discussing their interest in boxing, the candidate has demonstrated organisational skills, discipline, resilience, determination, and some teamworking ability.

When you answer questions such as this one, bear these kinds of competencies in mind and discuss your activities and interests that best show off such competencies. You should remember that, through these questions, law firms are trying to ascertain (1) a greater sense of you as an all-rounded human being, and, crucially, (2) whether you have the competencies that they require of trainee solicitors.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have minimised some of their descriptions, and developed some of their analysis. Whilst describing the process of ‘defending against punches’,, ‘exploit[ing] openings’, and ‘refocus[ing] on the next round’ makes for a stimulating read, this could perhaps be reworked in favour of explaining how the candidate cultivated some of their stated competencies.

For example, the space could be used to give an example of how the candidate worked well with their team (training partners, coach, and so on), or how the candidate kept their determination during the bouts. Although the candidate has done well to mention the competencies that they fostered through the experience, it would be better if they showed this to the reader, rather than telling the reader.]

At University, I was selected to join the Access to Justice Advice Clinic to take part in pro bono work. Not only did this experience give me the chance to apply my understanding of black-letter law into practice but allowed me to understand the significance of pro bono to lawyers, and the obligation for lawyers to give back to the public. I hope to take advantage of Dechert's pro bono opportunities given that the firm requires its lawyers to undertake at least 25 hours of pro bono annually and is a signatory to the Law Firm Pro Bono Challenge.

[Feedback: The candidate uses this paragraph to discuss their interest in, and activities regarding, pro bono work. This answer is a decent demonstration of how you might try to link your non-academic activities to your motivations for a career in commercial law, or Dechert, or both. Whilst you are not required to have interests, activities, or achievements that directly pertain to the career or the firm, such interests, activities, or achievements can help to indirectly showcase, and reiterate, such motivations.

The candidate has gone some way in developing their answer – what is especially good is the candidate’s explanation of why they enjoyed the activity (applying the law in a practical setting, and giving back to the public).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have spent more of the word count explaining what they did as part of the Access to Justice Advice Clinic, and how that work fostered their mentioned interests. A straightforward way to accomplish this would be for the candidate to state an example of a piece of work completed, and then go on to explain how that piece of work was accomplished, and, resultantly, what competencies or attitudes it fostered in the candidate.]

Lastly, I operate a small resale business for streetwear to pursue my interest in fashion. I am responsible for all aspects of the business: from supply-side management, to customer service, to delivery. My years of research into this niche market have allowed my business to thrive and I received acclaim from clientele for high-quality customer service and has translated into regular, loyal customers. This provides me with an appreciation for the demands of business and commercial awareness.

[Feedback: The final paragraph in this answer discusses the candidate’s clothing business. This is a particularly impressive example, and, in our opinion, should have been mentioned first. Some candidates downplay their achievements, or feel self-conscious talking up some of their exploits. You should not feel embarrassed – in fact, it is imperative that you do show off. You must remember that the recruiter does not know you personally; all they have to go on is what you write on your application form. Hence, if you undersell yourself, then they will believe that you are less impressive than you actually are – modesty does not come through in application forms!

The candidate does well to go into some detail about their business, and what it demands of them. Additionally, the candidate has attempted to link the running of their business to their commercial awareness and appreciation of commerce (again, indirectly strengthening their ‘why commercial law?’ answer).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have included some more detail about their business, and employed statistics to evidence their claims. For example, the candidate mentions that they have spent ‘years’ of research – how many years? The candidate states they have ‘received acclaim’ – what have their clients said? How many have said these things? Finally, the candidate states that they have ‘regular, loyal customers’ – how many customers? How regularly do they shop?

Adding in this detail would not expend many words; however, the effect on the quality of this answer would be profound and elevate it to a really strong response. When you employ examples such as this one in your application form answers, make sure that you are including as much detail as you can. Use percentages, times, dates, and so on, to impress upon the recruiter the magnitude of what you have accomplished. Furthermore, avoid making generic statements like ‘appreciation for the demands of business’ – instead, mention specific demands (for example, dealing with difficult clients, filing taxes, and so on). Such specific examples in themselves make the point for you, and provide evidence that you actually appreciate such demands.]

Please tell us about your extracurricular activities and any positions of responsibility you've held as part of these.

I was a Social Events Committee Member of the [overseas university in western Europe] Law Society, where I collaborated with 8 other students to organise the 2019 European Career Day. I researched potential speakers and persuaded notable figures such as eBay’s Head of EU Affairs and the UK Parliament’s Counsel to the Joint Committee on Human Rights to speak at the event. I also promoted the event on social media and by handing out flyers, resulting in over 250 people attending.

Additionally, I assisted in organising and executing [overseas university in western Europe] University’s 2018 International Alternative Dispute Resolution Conference. I developed my interpersonal and communication skills by strategically using my fluency in 4 languages to build rapport with legal professionals and subsequently convincing them to sit on the Conferences panel.

I participated in [overseas university in western Europe] University's 2019 Research Based Learning Excellence Programme. I effectively processed, contextualised and collated complex findings on the implications of software failures in autonomous vehicles with other participants across various faculties. I developed my problem-solving and creative thinking skills, when I looked beyond domestic laws and interviewed stakeholders, including scientific and legal advisors at the [national] Safety Board, to understand and solve the issue from a policy perspective.

I volunteered in a local kindergarten in Brazil, where I tutored children living in extreme poverty. I taught the children simple English phrases and Portuguese grammar. My empathetic approach towards helping others assisted me in carefully listening and thoroughly understanding the children's intellectual weaknesses, which allowed me to tailor my teaching method to the children's needs.

Feedback: This answer is effective because it presents a good variety of specific extra-curricular activities. The variety suggests that the candidate is a well-rounded individual whilst the specificity lends credibility to the candidate’s application. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have emphasised the position of responsibility they held as part of each given activity, not only the first one, even if it is implicit in the ensuing discussion (e.g., “As a volunteer teacher at a local kindergarten in Brazil, I tutored children living in extreme poverty.”). This is relevant because the prompt expressly directs candidates to present their extra-curricular activities and “any positions of responsibility [they]’ve held as part of these”, and an answer that mirrors the words of the prompt gives the impression of a confident, calculated writer.

Nevertheless, the candidate paints a reasonably clear picture of each given activity but avoids superfluous details. The reader is not left guessing or making too many assumptions. At the same time, the answer has a clear structure, which enhances the readability of the text per se and enables the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease. To achieve a similar effect, we would recommend splitting your answer into short paragraphs corresponding to each given extra-curricular activity and loosely following the “CAR” structure (“context”, “action”, “result”) in each of these paragraphs, as the candidate does in this case. In light of the word count attached to this prompt, we would recommend that you choose between three and four extra-curricular activities, which should allow you to present each given activity in a comprehensive manner.

Please give brief details of any interests including hobbies and sports.

The interest which has probably had the most significant impact on my life has been my love of travel and experiencing new cultures. Over the last few years in Japan and Taiwan I have been able to gain a wealth of new experiences. I have learned to scuba dive, gone hiking up volcanoes and across tropical islands and met fascinating people from across the world. Through this I have made amazing friends and cemented my enjoyment of new and often challenging experiences.

Feedback: This is a good contribution to the candidate’s answer and helps demonstrate that they are a well-rounded person. The candidate also paints a reasonably clear picture of what they did during their travels, without giving an overwhelming level of detail or placing a focus on one hobby/interest at the expense of others.  You do not necessarily need to highlight specific competencies in this answer. You can simply (1) identify each activity/interest (e.g., travelling), (2) provide some context for it (e.g., travelling to Japan/Taiwan and carrying out various activities) and (3) what you took away from it (e.g., learning to scuba-dive). This approach can serve you well if you have engaged in relatively straightforward activities as part of which you have obtained relatively simple achievements. That said, the candidate could have drilled down further on what they took away from travelling and how it changed them as a result. This would have added substance to the paragraph, in place of the superficial points currently given (e.g., the candidate “made friends” and “enjoyed challenging experiences”).

The candidate should have cut down on flowery and informal language such as “love” and amazing”, as this negatively impacts the candidate’s overall tone. Otherwise, this is a fair contribution to the candidate’s application.

When at home, I often enjoy socialising with friends, both here and back in Asia. I regularly have group calls with friends in [redacted country] to catch up or enjoy a games night. I attend a weekly pub quiz, which we won last week. I also enjoy cinema, and go most weekends with a few friends to see the latest movies.  I attend a weekly park run and depending on the weather I also enjoy going hiking or on walks in the surrounding areas as well.

Feedback: The candidate offers a variety of activities here which would suggest that the candidate is a well-rounded and sociable person (both of which are qualities sought after by law firms).

That said, many of the candidate’s contributions are not truly “hobbies/interests” for the purposes of this question. The candidate cites “socialising with friends”, “going to the cinema”, “attending pub quizzes” and “having group calls”, but these are mundane activities enjoyed by nearly everyone. Another issue is that we are not given much insight into what the candidate enjoys about these activities or takes away from them.

Instead, the candidate could have focused on their hobby of hiking and elaborated on this in depth. In keeping with the structure described previously, the candidate could have (1) provided some context to this hobby and (3) quantified it with specific achievements/details to explain what they have taken away from their hiking hobby. This would have provided meaningful detail and substance to the candidate’s activities.

Please provide any additional information that you think is relevant.

I have participated in a variety of events at the University of Law, including proceeding to the final elimination round in their 2021 Commercial Awareness Challenge and competing in the Mooting competition.

I have completed the Linklaters and Slaughter and May Virtual Experience Programs on Forage, and also participated in the Linklaters Pitch for Change competition.

I am a Student Representative for my GDL class, and have recently taken part in both a mock trial and negotiating exercise with students from across the campus.

I have volunteered as part of a Triage program and a Small Business Advice Line with the university, in both cases interviewing clients and then reporting a summary of their answers to a solicitor.

I attended networking events such as the LawCareersNetLive London 2021 conference and have marshalled in person at a Crown Court and virtually at an Employment Tribunal.

Feedback: We advise that candidates take this question at face-value. You are completely at liberty to contribute whatever you like, provided it is relevant and not covered in other areas of your application. As such, the candidate makes sensible use of this space by providing a brief outline of the activities which consolidated their interest in commercial law. This is particularly sensible because Faegre Drinker does not offer you a chance to explain your interest in commercial law more widely. To improve further, the candidate should have outlined what they learned from each experience/event. This would have painted a clearer picture about how each event consolidated the candidate’s interest in commercial law. Had the candidate been more selective in deciding which events to include, then they would have had enough words with which to do this.

We would also be cautious about citing Forage/InsideSherpa internships in your applications unless you go on to explain how they consolidated your interest in commercial law. This is because these do not count as work experience. Instead, they are designed to give you a picture of what day-to-day tasks might entail for commercial lawyers.

Please write about yourself in the space provided below. You may wish to mention any positions of responsibility held at school or subsequently, any regular employment or other work experience and any achievements, interests and personal qualities which are relevant.

Please also state briefly why you are making this application. (850 words)

I chose to study law with business due to my interest in the complex relationship between the disciplines. Without a strong grasp of the legal framework regulating a market, many companies have crumbled. Facebook's Libra is the perfect example of a brilliant idea struggling due to legal shortcomings. To succeed as a corporate solicitor, I must not only be a legal aid, but also a business advisor and confidant to my clients. While partaking in first-year schemes at Linklaters, HSF, and Simmons & Simmons, I was excited to gain exposure to commercial matters, such as a securities swap and a hedge fund set-up. I enjoyed completing the assigned tasks as I was able to get first-hand experience of how lawyers tailor legal advice to clients businesses and sectors. I also recently attended the Vacation Scheme Insight Workshop at Freshfields. From networking with solicitors at the firm, I recognised that commercial law is not a stagnant field and, since firms like Freshfields regularly work on precedent-setting deals, there is always more to learn. The diverse roles encountered as a solicitor and the intellectually stimulating nature of this profession attracted me to commercial law.

[Feedback: There are many ways to approach the prompt for this application. The firm does give an indication of the kind of topics it wants you to discuss in your answer; however, the structure and overall approach are up to you. We recommend having your answer consist of four to five paragraphs, each with a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure. This will allow you to respond to each of the elements of the prompt and provide sufficient depth in your answer.

In this first paragraph, the candidate focuses on their motivation for pursuing a commercial in commercial law. The candidate leads by citing their degree: law and business. This immediately gives them an opportunity to segue into the discussion of the interplay between law and business, namely, commercial law. The candidate then bolsters their answer by citing their previous schemes and experiences at other commercial law firms. Finally, the section includes a reference to Freshfields itself and a link back to the candidate’s overall argument.

Broadly speaking, the answer is quite strong. The candidate leads their answer with a response to the classic ‘why law?’ question. This is a good approach as it serves to contextualise the rest of the candidate’s answer and demonstrates to the recruiter, from the start, that the candidate is serious about pursuing this career.

Furthermore, the candidate writes clearly and concisely. You should notice how the candidate uses relatively short sentences that nicely connect to and flow from one another. This makes the answer easy to read and the candidate’s argument easy to follow. The candidate also includes a well-structured argument. You should observe how the candidate substantiates their claims with evidence and an explanation of that evidence. This means that the argument is convincing and easily comprehensible. You should remember that the recruiter does not want to have to read your answer twice. They have hundreds if not thousands of applications to get through. Hence, the easier your answer is to comprehend, the more the recruiter will enjoy reading (and accepting) your application.

Additionally, the candidate employs a good level of detail in their answer. Whilst many candidates will employ evidence and explanations, the very best candidates will do so whilst including lots of specific detail. For example, the candidate does not merely describe that they ‘gain[ed] exposure to commercial matters’, they immediately give specifics: ‘such as a securities swap and a hedge fund set-up’.

Many candidates omit these kinds of specific examples and details. However, this information is crucial for your answer’s chance of success. Specific detail makes your answer more engaging and persuasive and lends it credence. You must remember that the recruiter does not know you personally and will be learning about you and your experiences for the first time. Therefore, if you do not include specific details (such as facts, statistics, names, times, and so on), the recruiter will be unable to judge whether what you are saying is noteworthy.

Finally, the candidate does especially well in including a link back to their overall argument at the end of the paragraph. The entire paragraph has been about the candidate’s motivations for a career in commercial law. The candidate has given lots of evidence and explanation for that motivation, but it is in the link section that the candidate explicitly and forcefully connects their argument to this explanation and evidence. This is excellent as it acts as a one-sentence summary and expressly communicates to the recruiter that this topic has been discussed and appropriately concluded. You should not forget this ‘link’ section when you write your answers. Many candidates believe that this section is optional. However, it is essential. Without it, you risk your answer falling flat at its end.

Everything that you discuss in your answer is with the aim of furthering a particular argument or claim; hence, at the end of your answer, you must demonstrate how what you have discussed substantiates your ‘point’, namely, your primary claim. Failure to do so may mean the recruiter may be confused as to what the point of your whole discussion was.

One area of improvement for this answer concerns the candidate’s spelling and grammar. Unfortunately, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing, ‘tailor legal advice to clients businesses’. Whilst typographical errors do not necessitate the rejection of an application, recruiters are becoming harsher when it comes to reviewing applications. Each typographical mistake that you make drastically increases the chance of your application getting rejected. You should remember that the recruiter is assessing your application as a whole. Therefore, they want to see evidence of attention to detail and clear written communication (skills that lawyers need to have).

To avoid making these errors, you must proofread your answers before submission. Furthermore, you could use a speller checker (either as part of Microsoft Word or Grammarly). Finally, you may also give your application to a family member or trusted friend to proofread for typographical errors.]

Freshfields’ eight-seat training contract is a strong appeal for me as the flexible structure enables one to find their niche and make well-informed career choices. Moreover, Freshfields consistently undertakes high-quality work across contentious and transactional departments, evidenced by its band 1 status in the Chambers Rankings for both Corporate M&A and Dispute Resolution. As a trainee, I would feel confident that I am gaining the best learning and development opportunities regardless of my seat. I am especially drawn to Freshfields because of the calibre of its international work. I chose to study law in London to have a global education, broaden my horizons and gain access to law firms that work with prominent companies around the world. I am particularly interested in Freshfields' approach to Africa. The benefits of the StrongerTogether network are evident in the fact that Freshfields has advised on matters in all 54 African countries. As a proud Nigerian, I look forward to working on transactions that positively impact the African economy.

[Feedback: This section focuses on the candidate’s motivations concerning joining Freshfields (namely, answering a classic ‘why [this firm]?’ style question). The candidate begins by addressing a unique aspect of the firm’s training contract: its eight-seat structure. The candidate then goes on to discuss the firm’s specialisms and high practice area rankings. Finally, the candidate homes in on Freshfields’ international work, particularly its work in Africa.

Overall, this has the makings of a very strong answer. The candidate should be commended for touching on all of the right points for discussion. When justifying your motivation concerning a particular firm, you should focus on at least two areas: the firm’s work and the firm’s training. Optionally, you can discuss a third area: the firm’s culture. The candidate, therefore, highlights a unique aspect of the firm’s training contract, namely, its structure. You should note that many candidates will bring this up in their answers. Therefore, you should be prepared to go into an in-depth discussion of this feature, justifying why it appeals to you and why you are suited for it.

The candidate also discusses the firm’s work. Crucially, the candidate provides some evidence for their comments about the firm’s specialisms and standard of work. As previously mentioned, you must provide evidence to substantiate any and all claims that you make. Whilst the recruiter may be aware that the firm has certain traits, they want to know how you came to know about them, what research you did on the firm, and, ultimately, why you care about those traits. Therefore, be prepared to justify how you came to learn about certain features of the firm by providing specific evidence in your answer.

The candidate also provides a brief justification for their desire to have international work. Notably, the candidate uses their personal background to evidence their desire to broaden their horizons and work with companies with a global presence. You should remember that these law firms are international entities with international clients. Hence, the work will be dynamic and complex. You must not only demonstrate to the recruiter that you are capable of handling such work but also that you actively want to take on that work.

Finally, the candidate discusses the firm’s presence in Africa. They justify their attraction to this feature of Freshfields by citing their personal background and referencing the ‘StrongerTogether’ network. This is excellent. The candidate justifies the claim about the firm’s work in Africa by citing specific information and demonstrating that they have properly researched the firm. Additionally, the candidate personalises their answer by linking their argument to their own background. This makes the answer very persuasive. You should remember that law firms are looking to hire individuals from a wide range of backgrounds. International students should be especially alive to this fact. If you have experience in or knowledge of a range of languages or cultures, these are excellent things to mention and use in your applications.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have focused on one or two points rather than several and gone into more depth. Whilst the candidate has highlighted several relevant areas of discussion, their answer lacks sufficient depth when it comes to its argument. The paragraph as a whole is aimed at answering ‘why do you want to be a trainee and work at Freshfields?’. To properly answer this question, the candidate needed to have selected one or two points and fully fleshed out a response. As the candidate did not do this, the answer feels slightly superficial in some areas.

For example, at the beginning of the paragraph, the candidate writes that ‘Freshfields’ eight-seat training contract is a strong appeal for me as the flexible structure enables one to find their niche and make well-informed career choices’. This is a valid claim. However, it is not justified or evidenced in the rest of the candidate’s paragraph. The recruiter is likely to read this and remark that whilst this is an advantage of the eight-seat structure, what evidence is there that the candidate would thrive in this structure? How does the candidate know it will help them find their ‘niche and make well-informed career choices’? And why does that even matter to them? These might seem like redundant questions with obvious answers; however, you must remember that the recruiter will not infer your argument for you. They can only go off what you write, so you must write explicitly.

Similarly, the candidate writes that ‘[a]s a trainee, I would feel confident that I am gaining the best learning and development opportunities regardless of my seat’. However, they provide no direct evidence for this. The candidate previously cites the top rankings for the firm in Corporate and Dispute Resolution; however, this does not prove that there will be good learning and development opportunities at the firm. The rankings simply mean that the department produces the best work and that the candidate (as a trainee at Freshfields) would have a chance to be a part of this. You must be careful and ensure that your evidence directly corresponds to the point it is meant to prove. You should take your time and craft your responses properly. If you rush your work or try to take shortcuts, you risk the recruiter noticing and rejecting your application. It is better to take a few more hours to write a successful answer than to submit an unsuccessful one hastily.] 

I possess various qualities that would make me an asset to Freshfields, such as my strong work ethic and passion. Throughout my time in secondary school, I was appointed to multiple positions of responsibility. For example, I began playing lacrosse in my first year of high school. I trained diligently by practising for at least an hour each day and sought external opportunities to improve, such as playing competitively in a summer league outside of school. In my final year, I was named captain of my varsity team and led them through an undefeated season, which culminated in a gold medal win at the regional championships. Another initiative I took on in high school was to create a Diversity Council with the aim of promoting an inclusive and open environment. As president, I held weekly meetings where I planned our events and delegated responsibilities to my ten committee members. My agenda included making a message board about the epidemic of missing and murdered Indigenous women in Canada, organising a film screening on racial intolerance, and bringing in a public speaker for a school-wide Black History Month assembly. Though I faced challenges from a few students who did not understand the significance of these topics, I was ultimately able to increase awareness of racial issues and encourage discourse amongst students and staff. My efforts were recognised at my graduation ceremony by my principal, who described me as a great leader, a community builder, and a powerful change agent.

[Feedback: This section’s argument concerns the candidate’s suitability for being a trainee solicitor at Freshfields. The candidate approaches this section by discussing their positions of responsibility whilst at high school and the competencies that such positions evidence. Specifically, the candidate homes in on two activities: playing lacrosse and being the president of the Diversity Council. In effect, this paragraph (in conjunction with the one below) serves as an answer to a ‘why you?’ style question.

This answer is especially good for its structure and use of detail. You should note how the candidate leads the reader through their argument step-by-step. The candidate leads with a clear point before going into a personal example and accompanying explanation. This results in the reader being able to keep track of what the candidate is talking about and fully appreciate what they achieved.

Furthermore, the candidate’s use of detail is excellent. You should observe how the candidate punctuates their answer with supporting facts and statistics. For example, the candidate specifies when they started playing lacrosse, how long they practiced and what they ultimately achieved as captain. Their use of specific times and facts helps to create an engaging and persuasive answer. Similarly, the candidate goes into a good amount of detail regarding what they did as president of the Diversity Council. You should note that the candidate does not simply write that they were the president – they give examples of and explain what they did as part of the role. For example, the candidate specifies what their message board was about and how many members they delegated tasks to. These might seem like minor details, but cumulatively they build up a vivid and impressive picture.

You should remember that recruiters read hundreds if not thousands of applications. If your answer is not engaging or lacks credence, you risk it being rejected. The standard demanded of candidates now is higher than ever due to the sheer volume of applicants. Therefore, not only does your content need to be good, but the way in which you write must also be up to standard.

Nevertheless, this answer does have some areas in which the candidate could have improved. Crucially, the candidate should have provided a link section at the end of their paragraph. Whilst it is all well and good to discuss these kinds of examples, the candidate fails to state explicitly what their examples and accompanying explanations are in aid of. The candidate makes a point at the beginning of their paragraph concerning their suitability for Freshfields. However, this point is never returned to in the rest of the answer. This is problematic as the recruiter may be wondering how exactly the answer is relevant to the candidate being a good fit for the firm or the role of a trainee solicitor. In essence, the recruiter may ask themselves, ‘…so what?’.

A link section would return the answer to the candidate’s overall point and argument and connect their examples and explanations to the section’s broader argument. To begin a link section, the candidate could have simply added a sentence at the end of their answer beginning, for example, ‘Therefore, I believe I possess the necessary skills to succeed as a Freshfields trainee, as evidenced by [insert skills/discussed examples here].’. Without this element, the answer feels incomplete and loses some of its strength. You should stick to a clear PEEL structure to avoid this mistake in your answers.

Finally, a small point of improvement concerns the answer’s level of detail. Whilst the candidate, for the most part, uses facts and statistics to substantiate their response, they could have included some more. For example, the candidate writes that they organised a film screening. To improve their answer, they could have given the name of the film(s) they chose to show. Similarly, they wrote that they brought in a public speaker – they could have mentioned their name. These kinds of details would help to lend credence to the candidate’s answer. Once again, on their own, they may not do much, but together, the recruiter will feel like they have a better picture of the candidate and find their achievements more relatable and impressive.]

Since starting university, I have fostered my interest in business by partaking in the Reed Smith Business Skills Masterclasses. I also collaborated with two teammates to compete in the Queen Mary Commercial Negotiations Competition. By combining my soft skills, such as communication and empathy, with my business acumen, I persuaded the opposing side to make concessions and was able to obtain a favourable deal for my client. As I commenced my second year, I partnered with eight friends to form the Queen Mary Law and Business Society. I have helped to organise three events as part of a City Series that explores the intersection between legal and commercial fields. The society has brought associates and partners from Linklaters, Willkie Farr & Gallagher, and Hogan Lovells to discuss their practice areas and explain the responsibilities of a solicitor within commercial deals. By employing my professional connections, I was able to kick off the series with a senior associate from Linklaters who provided us with an overview of capital markets. The City Series has been widely popular with an average attendance of fifty students, even attracting participants from other universities. Along with my extracurricular involvement, I have also excelled academically. My faculty awarded me with the Dechert Prize for the Best First Year Student and the Annual Fund Scholarship. As an ambitious student capable of producing high-quality work in a demanding environment, I believe I have the potential to succeed at Freshfields.

[Feedback: This section essentially continues on from the previous paragraph. In this paragraph, the candidate continues to advocate why they would make for a good trainee solicitor. This argument is forwarded by the candidate discussing their endeavours at university and their positions of responsibility and achievements therein. Specifically, the candidate focuses on their commercial awareness and negotiation skills.

The candidate should be commended for their use of detail. The entire paragraph is stippled with various details, including names, statistics, and particular facts. You should notice how the candidate does not simply name-drop law firms; they weave the mentioning of these firms into their answer. This ensures that the names themselves are not the focus of the candidate’s answer, instead, the names serve to lend strong support to what the candidate is already arguing. This is the difference between a candidate who tries merely to sound good and a candidate who actually produces an inherently persuasive answer.

Furthermore, you should notice how the candidate highlights particular relevant competencies throughout their answer. Ultimately, this paragraph concerns the candidate’s suitability for the role. Therefore, the focus needs to be on the skills that the firm would look for in a trainee solicitor. When you write your answers, especially when focusing on responding to a ‘why you?’ style question, you should focus on such competencies. The main competencies include but are not limited to teamwork/collaboration, persuasion, organisation, motivation/determination, integrity, written/oral communication, problem-solving, and resilience. You must remember, however, that you cannot make a claim that you have such competencies without supplying the necessary evidence. Therefore, you should ensure that you provide a personal example that evidences your claimed competency and explain that example such that the recruiter understands how it is that your chosen example demonstrates that you have the mentioned competency.

Finally, the candidate does well in providing a subtle chronology of events. If the previous paragraph and this section are read together, the candidate has provided the reader with an overview of their achievements and positions of responsibility starting from their first year in high school up until their second year of university. In effect, the candidate has structured their answer year-by-year, walking the recruiter through their record of accomplishments. This is excellent and is something you should look to do in your answers. You should note that law firms are looking for candidates with a track record of academic and extra-curricular success. Therefore, by providing the recruiter with a discussion of personal achievements and positions of responsibility in chronological order, the candidate is subtly demonstrating that they have such a history of success.

To employ such a chronology in your answers, you should observe how the candidate uses times and signposting in their answer. The candidate specifies what they did in their first year of university and then explicitly details what they did in their second year (they also used similar signposts in their previous paragraph concerning high school).

To improve this answer, once again, the candidate needed to have linked their discussion back to the argument at hand. Whilst the candidate does make some attempt to relate their answer back to working at Freshfields, their last sentence is too vague. The candidate writes, ‘As an ambitious student capable of producing high-quality work in a demanding environment, I believe I have the potential to succeed at Freshfields’. This is not necessarily an untrue statement; however, it does not communicate a particularly strong message.

To relate your answer back to a ‘why you?’ style question, you must explicitly explain how the competencies you have discussed would help you as a trainee solicitor at the firm. For example, such a link may look like this:

‘As a Freshfields trainee, my [insert competency here] skills would allow me to complete [insert a typical trainee task here] by [insert explanation here].’

For instance, you may claim to have good attention to detail. This skill would be useful in proofreading documents or completing document comparisons. You can then explain how such a competency would work in practice when completing that particular task, for example, by being able to notice subtle differences in punctuation or the alteration of particular terms. By crafting a link section in this way, you are explicitly communicating to the recruiter that you are a good fit for a trainee solicitor and showing them why that is the case.

The recruiter does not want to have to search for your argument in your answers. They want to read your answer as quickly as possible and come to a determination as to whether it is to be accepted or rejected. Therefore, unless it is something subtle like a chronological structure (which is made explicit through the use of signposting anyway), you must be explicit and leave nothing up to the inferences that the recruiter may, or most probably, may not make.]

Please write about yourself in no more than 850 words. You may wish to mention any positions of responsibility held at school or subsequently, any regular employment or other work experience, any sporting or other achievements and any particular interests and personal qualities which are relevant. Please also state briefly why you are making this application.

I have always believed, that one should never let his schooling interfere with his education. What truly defines and shapes us is how we spend our time outside of the classroom. Accordingly, I participate in as many activities as time permits.

[Feedback: This is an unusual but creative start to an application.  It’s a good riff from a well-known Mark Twain quote.  This adds a bit of personality, but law firms are conventional places - we would play it safe in the opening paragraph.]

My first significant extra-curricular activity was chess, which I began playing at age six. Since then, I have won the Canadian national chess championships for my age group on three separate occasions. I have also represented Canada at six international tournaments including the World Championships on two occasions. As of 2019, I was ranked 4th in Canada in the Under 18 category. Chess has helped me with identifying patterns and strategic planning, and so I find the challenge of identifying and planning new ways to save clients money in tax law to be an exciting one. Considering that Freshfields won UK Tax Firm of the Year in 2019 at the European Tax Awards, it would be amazing to work alongside some of the brightest legal minds in Europe.

[Feedback: This is another impressive accomplishment, but it’s a bit unstructured.  We like the Point, Evidence, Example framework for examples of personal qualities.

●        You should start by identifying the quality or skill that the example demonstrates.  For example, playing chess at a high-level may evidence strong analytical ability

●        Once you have identified the skill or quality, then provide evidence through your example

●        Use the explanation to link the skill or analytical ability back to why it’s important for working as a lawyer.

The Freshfields reference is a bit random here and feels forced.  We would recommend saving this for later in the answer where the candidate talks about Freshfields in depth.]

Debating is another passion, and I was ranked 1st in Ontario and 5th in Canada for debating at school. After joining the Debating Union at Durham, I was chosen as Durham’s top debater to represent the University at the Oxford Union and at the World Debating Championships in the Philippines. I love arguing in all formats: I was a Mooting Semi-Finalist in last year’s competition; I won the Yule Debating Cup this year; and am currently enrolled in the Client Negotiation scheme and Hunt Debating Cup within the law faculty.

[Feedback: The candidate has already talked about debating extensively in the first answer.  What’s the point of this paragraph?  Unless there is a separate skill or quality that the candidate is trying to evidence, we would save the word count or incorporate it into another example of a skill / quality.]

I created my own political blog and write for two student newspapers, and had an essay on the death penalty recently published. I joined the Investment Society to improve my writing on commercial issues, and also to expand my personal stock portfolio, through which I have made over $1000 CAD to date. I read the National Post and Wall Street journal daily to assist me with this as well.

I enjoy the camaraderie of sports and play for the Durham Ice-hockey 1st team (for 2 years now), where I was voted social secretary. This year, I was appointed captain of Law Club Basketball team. In Spring, I plan on trying out for the tennis team, as I have previously played for my school’s 1st team.

[Feedback: We know by this point that the candidate does indeed have a lot of interests beyond his studies, but we don’t really know why we should care.  Remember, the whole point of an example is to evidence something.  For instance, the candidate could have tried to evidence the quality of his communication skills and used (1) his blogging and editorial activities to demonstrate the strength of his written communication and (2) his debating activities to demonstrate his sophisticated verbal communication.]

It’s generally better to provide a single, developed example instead of listing a series of accomplishments.  This reads like something of a laundry list at the moment.]

Positions of responsibility do not intimidate me as I have various leadership experience: I was elected Prefect at school by seventy peers to represent them in student government; I was elected Speaker at the Ontario Model Parliament; I had a lead role in the school play; and I was appointed President of the Conservative Youth Association in the St. Paul’s riding of Toronto. All of these roles helped me to learn how to motivate others, delicately offer constructive criticism, and take responsibility for my actions. My employment for three consecutive summers as a tennis and golf instructor has also assisted in improving my teamwork skills.

[Feedback: Why do positions of responsibility matter?  In and of themselves, they don’t.  But they do give you an opportunity to demonstrate (1) time management / organisational skills, (2) teamwork, (3) dedication, (4) ability to thrive outside your comfort zone; and (5) good judgement.  You should start with the answer first - you have developed X skill through Y position of responsibility.  In particular A, B, C tasks or activities in your role in position Y helped you to develop X skill.]

My experience shadowing corporate lawyers in Winnipeg, Montreal, Toronto and London has taught me that commercial law offers the most interesting and cutting-edged work, as the work they do is truly captivating. At [redacted in-house legal department], I helped summarise HR documents to management officers, discussed tax implications, and researched German employment law issues. When shadowing a litigation partner at [redacted law firm #1], I helped with tactical analysis in a California case on shareholder oppression. Most recently, at [redacted law firm #2] I helped with contractual work in insurance law after having read through insurance claims and litigation materials. These experiences have served to cement my desire to become a commercial solicitor.

[Feedback: This is a fantastic amount of relevant work experience for an undergraduate student!  These positions were probably obtained through personal contacts.  If this is not the case, you should take care to highlight that you obtained it on merit (e.g. competitive selection process or by writing speculatively to ask for work experience).  Given the importance of enabling diversity within the legal profession, law firms are likely to place less weight on work experience obtained through personal contacts.

Given the generous word limit, we would expand this section.  It’s an excellent opportunity to evidence your motivation to become a commercial solicitor.  What is it about law that attracts you?  How did you test this on your work experience to confirm your expectations match reality?  Have you done any non-legal work experience to properly consider alternative careers?  Law firms invest a lot of money in their trainees; they want you to have properly thought through your decision before pursuing a career in law.]

I now seek to begin the process of working for Freshfields through a vacation scheme. I love the battle of trying to outwit an opponent and the sense of achievement that comes from winning an argument, and so I believe that Freshfields’ dispute resolution practice would be an excellent fit for me. Freshfields is internationally known for their first-class litigation and international arbitration departments, which work on some of the most complex and fascinating legal conflicts in the world. Employment at Freshfields would mean that I can expect some of the most challenging and interesting work available.

[Feedback: This paragraph is problematic.  It’s fine (and good!) to express an interest in a particular seat, but it’s important to communicate that you are open-minded in where you qualify.  We would also question whether the candidate really understands what working in dispute resolution entails.  For example, most complicated matters run on for so long that you will probably never get the quick satisfaction from winning an argument.

If you are talking about a firm’s expertise in a particular area, it’s a good idea to note the firm’s rankings in Chambers & Partners or Legal500 (both freely accessible online) to evidence this and demonstrate that you have done your research.]

Freshfields is no ordinary commercial law firm, as their client list suggests it offers impeccable service and advice. Goldman Sachs, General Electric, Morgan Stanley, Microsoft and Rolls-Royce could choose any global law firm but they choose to retain Freshfields instead. I believe that part of this decision comes from knowing that Freshfields’ lawyers are not only clever, but also have diverse backgrounds as well. For example, trainees may choose up to eight seats in a training contract, and the firm offers a variety of international or client secondments. Moreover, vacation scheme students may even complete a final week in a foreign office. These opportunities produce more global-thinking, open-minded lawyers with an international network and breadth of legal experience that is unparalleled at other law firms.

[Feedback: This is pretty generic.  With the exception of Slaughter and May, every Magic Circle firm has (1) stellar client lists, (2) full-service practice areas and (3) international offices.  It’s better to focus on the things that make a law firm different to its competitors.  So for Freshfields, you should put more emphasis on the eight seat training contract and explain why that’s a good idea.]

After attending the Freshfields presentation at Durham, and speaking to your trainees at the law fair, I now know that Freshfields is where I want to be.

[Feedback: This application is a good example of where a candidate has lots of relevant experience but does not use it effectively.  The underlying role of an application is to sell the reader on why they should interview you in person.  It’s not simply a history of your personal achievements like in this application.

While the question does not invite discussion of why you have chosen a career in law, we think it is helpful to touch on it here.  In this case, we would weave it into the middle part of the answer where the candidate talks about his work experience.]

In no more than 850 words, consider "Why Me, Why Freshfields and Why Commercial Law" as the basis of your Personal Statement. You may also wish to mention any positions of responsibility held at school or subsequently, any regular employment or other work experience and any achievements, interests and personal qualities which are relevant.

Whilst interning at [redacted law firm],[redacted southeast Asian country] ’s leading law firm, I was exposed to a commercial lawyer’s work in navigating a client through a broad spectrum of business activities. This motivated me to understand how lawyers provide holistic guidance. Interning at [redacted law firm in southeast Asia], a member of [law firm group], I analysed [redacted country]’s upcoming COVID-19 Bill and assisted in advising on a tenancy dispute involving multinational corporations on the ideal way to initiate a proceeding before the Bill was implemented, and how our clients’ goals for expansion into other areas in [redacted country] could continue to be met given that the party in dispute was instrumental in facilitating this growth. I developed a deep appreciation for the advisory role of commercial lawyers in demonstrating a thorough understanding of their client’s interests, the evolving nature of legal landscapes and commercial markets to ensure their client stays ahead of the curve.

Feedback:The aim of this first paragraph looks good, as it directly addresses one of the question’s core elements from the outset (namely “Why commercial law?”). First, you should note how the candidate outlines and explains their point from the outset. We are immediately told that the candidate is interested in commercial law because they provide holistic guidance to business clients. This is substantiated by an example from the candidate’s work experience, which contextualises and personalises the candidate’s motivations. In turn, this adds structure to the candidate’s paragraph and makes it easier for the recruiter to follow the candidate’s subsequent argument. In the same fashion, you should follow the PEEL/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). You should state your motivational reason from the outset, before substantiating it with detailed personal examples and tailored analysis.

You should also note the quality of evidence that the candidate uses. The candidate summarises relevant commercial law work experience at the beginning. Then, the candidate zooms in on a specific example flowing from their assistance on the COVID-19 Bill. This provides specific, quantifiable evidence demonstrating that the candidate has a genuine interest in commercial law. Then, the candidate pivots their analysis around this specific example. They explain (1) what they did, (2) how their interest in the point developed from that example and (3) precisely what interested them about the example and why it did so. This persuades the recruiter that the candidate has a sustained and concrete interest in commercial law, which is reinforced by specific evidence and personalised examples. In your own writing, you must go beyond simply asserting that you have an abstract interest in commercial law. You should instead identify specific and high-quality personal evidence for your interest in commercial law, before analysing how your interest developed from that example.

The candidate’s writing is also coherent and well-structured, with the PEEL/AL system offering a clear framework. The candidate states their point immediately. Then, the candidate identifies specific evidence before analysing/explaining how their interest in the point developed from the example. Finally, the candidate includes a neat linking sentence to tie their evidence back in with the original point. At no point does the candidate lose focus – they stick to just one point per paragraph.  In your own writing, you should follow PEEL/AL closely and use just one point per paragraph. This will result in a coherent paragraph that the recruiter can follow (and so be persuaded by) more easily.

As a point for improvement, the candidate’s central point needs to be better tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts an interest in commercial law because they “navigate clients through a broad spectrum of business activities”. The candidate explains at the end that they then “developed a deep appreciation for the advisory role of commercial lawyers”, before asserting that they want a “thorough understanding of their client’s interests”. The issue is that none of these features are truly unique to commercial law. You would be assisting clients with their business activities just as much in consulting or finance as you would in commercial law. The candidate does give passing mention to “legal landscapes” at the end, but they never explain what they mean by this nor why this specific aspect of commercial law interests them. This means that the candidate’s point needs to be tailored to commercial law. As a rule, if you can swap out “commercial law” with another career path then your writing is not tailored enough. You must centre your analysis around specific, unique elements of commercial law.

Attending an Open Day at [redacted Magic Circle firm (not Freshfields)], I was drawn to the emphasis on how facilitating and maintaining long-lasting client relationships characterised a commercial lawyer’s success. The key to my success in establishing my Personal Statement Advisory business has been building these very relationships with my own clients. I developed a 3-session plan directed towards understanding my clients background, life experiences and how they can reflect the best version of themselves on paper. My efforts have resulted in 75% of clients returning for other applications, and receiving unconditional offers from [redacted RG universities including one of Oxford/Cambridge]. Work where building and maintaining strong client relationships is a key component is what I am best suited to and where my skills lie. That this is the essence of a commercial lawyer’s career makes me confident that this is the path for me.

Feedback: As with the previous paragraph, the candidate does well in identifying their motivational point from the outset. The candidate then identifies and explains a specific personal example. Then, the candidate explains (1) precisely what they did during their business activities, (2)  what they found interesting about it and (3) how that ultimately ties back in with that their interest in the original point (namely their interest in building and maintaining client relationships). This results in a coherent, well-structured and persuasive paragraph that illustrates the candidate’s firm interest in commercial law.

However, this paragraph is slightly weaker than the previous in a couple of regards:

1. It isn’t clear what part of the question the candidate is trying to address. They begin by stating a point of interest in commercial law. However, the candidate’s writing then gears towards competencies/the “Why me?” part of the question. They seem to write about their experience using the STAR structure, before explaining (1) the specific outcome and (2) that they learned how to build client relationships from this experience. It is unclear precisely why building client relationships is interesting to the candidate. This all means that the candidate’s writing is a little confused and unfocused. In your own cover letters, you should address each part of the question separately by using distinct paragraphs for each. This will make your cover letter well-structured and easy to follow.

2. The candidate shoehorns an outcome into their answer (namely that they received a 75% success rate), before also mentioning that the clients received Oxbridge/RG university offers. It’s not clear how this explains the candidate’s motivations for commercial law. The candidate might have been better off using this example as a separate “Why me?” paragraph, where they would be expected to describe this example using STAR.

3. As with the previous paragraph, the candidate’s reasoning is not tailored enough to commercial law. You would be expected to “build client relationships” in any industry, not just the legal sector. As such, the candidate needed to explain (1) why this feature is unique to commercial law and (2) why that unique feature encouraged them to pursue a career in commercial law. The candidate’s asserted interest in “building client relationships” does not go far enough in explaining their interest in commercial law.

As a rule, you should address each element of the cover letter separately by using distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should distinctly address (1) why commercial law, (2) why law firm and (3) why you. There should be little-to-no crossover between each paragraph. This will prevent your writing from becoming muddled and confusing.

I find commercial law the underpinning factor of trendsetting market practices. Working as a legal content writer for the accredited legal blog [redacted blog site] I wrote an article on the rumoured acquisition between PayPal and Pinterest that confounded many. Upon analysing PayPal’s transactions and commercial aspirations, it was evident that the acquisition would have allowed them to enter the emerging social commerce market. This attempted collaboration exemplifies how commercial law facilitates the creation of new opportunities. The promise of varied work every day and the chance to engage with unchartered commercial opportunities motivates me to pursue commercial law as a career.

Feedback:This paragraph has similar strengths to the previous. Once again, the candidate structures their paragraph sensibly using the PEEL/AL structure. This results in a focused, coherent paragraph that is easy for the recruiter to follow (and so be persuaded by). As with previous paragraphs, the candidate does well to centre their analysis around a specific personal example. The candidate identifies (1) a specific example of an interesting deal they researched, before (2) explaining what elements of the PayPal-Pinterest deal interested them and (3) why that deal interested them. Then, the candidate makes an effort to link that deal back in with commercial law.  You should aim for similar levels of specificity in your own writing. If you can hone in on specific and detailed examples from your extracurricular/work experience, then you will persuade the recruiter that you have a sustained interest in commercial law.

However, this paragraph suffers from a couple of weaknesses. First, the candidate needs to draw a better connection between their example and their interest in commercial law. Currently, it’s unclear how the example relates to commercial law. The candidate identifies a deal and discusses some interesting features, but they never explain (1) precisely how commercial lawyers were involved in that deal nor (2) how the deal ultimately developed their interest in commercial law. Instead, the candidate focuses on generic features of the deal. It’s not clear how the candidate’s assertion that “commercial law facilitates new opportunities” follows from their previous writing. As such, the candidate should have drawn a tighter link between the example and their interest in commercial law.

Secondly, the candidate’s reason is not tailored enough to commercial law. Nearly every career path in the City will involve “trendsetting market practices” and “varied work on unchartered commercial opportunities”. These are not unique features of commercial law. In your own writing, you need to make sure that you identify specific and unique features of commercial law. This will convince the recruiter that you have researched commercial law and discounted other career paths in favour of it.

Freshfields represents the ideal firm to engage with ground-breaking work of this sort. Speaking to Alastair Brown at ‘An Evening with Freshfield’ this year, I was amazed at his account of his involvement on the first ever asset transfer deal in Myanmar for Colgate, and how he travelled the country extensively to understand the governments requirements when executing the deal, all when he was just an associate. The prospect of being exposed to such complex and transformative work from very early in my career is why I am assured I will receive first-rate training at Freshfields.

Feedback: The candidate now moves towards addressing the “Why Freshfields” element of the question. As with the “why commercial law?” section, the candidate structures this paragraph sensibly using PEEL/AL. You should particularly note how the candidate develops their initial point. Not only do they assert an interest in Freshfields work, but they substantiate it by discussing a specific and personal experience with the firm. They identify a named event with a specific Freshfields lawyer, before (1) identifying a specific deal discussed at that event and (2) explaining what they found interesting about it. In your own writing, you should always go beyond simply name-dropping deals that the firm has done. You should explain precisely what features of the deal interest you, before analysing how those features make Freshfields unique and why said features appeal to you.

However, the candidate’s reasoning needs to be tailored to Freshfields more closely. It is currently quite generic. First, the candidate never goes beyond explaining that they are interested in Freshfields’ “ground-breaking” and “transformative” work. These are subjective opinions that could apply just as equally to any Magic Circle law firm. Most of these firms will be working on similarly complex and “ground-breaking” work. The candidate’s Colgate/Myanmar example also does not go far enough in tailoring their reasoning to Freshfields. All Magic Circle firms attract similarly complex and multi-jurisdictional work to the Colgate asset transfer deal. The majority of Magic Circle firms will also offer similar opportunities for ad-hoc travel at associate level. As such, the candidate needed to go much further in explaining how that deal makes Freshfields a unique firm.

Upon meeting Freshfields at [redacted RG university] Law Society’s ‘Know the City’, I gained a deeper understanding of the firms unrivalled trainee development and structure. One thing that intrigues me is the incorporation of Corporate, Finance and Real Estate into a singular Global Transactions team. This facilitates a much smoother workflow, creating more efficient services for clients and the opportunity for trainees to get involved with a range of work at once. Freshfields unique 8-seat training contract bolsters this training exposure. The chance to delve into a range of legal fields, explore transactional and contentious aspects of practice, and work across the many jurisdictions Freshfields deals with will allow me to make the best decision with regards to my future as a commercial lawyer.

Feedback:This paragraph is an improvement on the previous. This time, the candidate not only identifies a personal experience with Freshfields but they later develop and tailor it. The candidate identifies two unique features of Freshfields, namely its integrated Global Transactions Team and its unique 8-seat structure. This demonstrates that the candidate has carried out specific research into Freshfields and has identified unique appealing features as a result. In turn, this persuades the recruiter that the candidate has made a specific, strategic decision to apply to Freshfields as opposed to any other firm.

However, the candidate’s writing is unfocused and lacks development in numerous points. This is because the candidate has opted for breadth over depth. They have crammed two entirely separate reasons for being interested in Freshfields, namely (1) its departmental structure and (2) its training contract structure. The candidate only makes simple and underdeveloped assertions about each feature (owing to word count restrictions). For instance, the candidate identifies a benefit of the Global Transactions structure but never explains why it personally interests them. Similarly, the candidate identifies a generic benefit of the 8-seat structure without ever tying it back in with their own interests. The candidate offers no personal evidence/examples in support of their interest in each point. As a result, much of this paragraph is vague and lacking in thorough analysis.

In your own writing, you should stick to one point per paragraph. Each point should be developed in full using the PEEL/AL structure. Had the candidate separated each point into distinct paragraphs, they would have been able to develop each point fully using personalised examples.

Considering the increasing application of legal tech in creating client solutions, it is vital for me to evaluate how law firms are reacting to such change to secure their own future in the industry. ‘Freshfields Focus’ 2021 on Technology and Innovation offered great insight into the firm’s digital transformation strategy to provide greater value to clients whilst facilitating efficiency internally. The use of Kira increasing efficiency up to 40% and Freshfields Lab’s wide collaboration with tech start-ups exemplifies this process. The drive to continuously innovate and implement technology in delivering outstanding legal services is another reason why I am keen on pursuing my career at Freshfields.

Feedback: The candidate now moves onto their final reason for Freshfields, namely its legal technology approach. We are impressed by the depth of research throughout this paragraph. The candidate takes a generic point about legal tech, before substantiating it with specific and detailed research into Freshfields’ strategy. First, the candidate identifies a specific and named Freshfields event that they attended. Given that the candidate has identified other events elsewhere in the answer, this now demonstrates the candidate’s sustained and long-term personal interest in Freshfields. Then, the candidate identifies (1) a specific Freshfields technology scheme and (2) a precise and quantified statistic illustrating how technology has improved Freshfields’ processes. You should aim for similar levels of specificity and depth in your own writing. If you can develop your points with specific research, then you will tailor your writing and demonstrate a serious interest in the firm.

However, this paragraph has two points for improvement. First, the candidate needed to explain why Freshfields’ legal technology strategy interests them. The candidate asserts that they are interested in “Freshfields’ drive to continuously innovate and implement technology”. However, the candidate never goes any further in explaining this. Without any personal examples backing up the candidate’s interest in technology, it is unclear (1) why the candidate has any interest in this feature of Freshfields nor (2) how that feature developed the candidate’s personal interest in the firm. In your own writing, you need to go beyond simply asserting an interest in the firm. You must instead substantiate your interest with specific personal examples.

Secondly, the paragraph is missing some comparative analysis. The candidate states that Kira has “increased efficiency by up to 40%”, but it would have been helpful for the candidate to contextualise it and compare Freshfields’ successes against other Magic Circle firms. Simply put, most City firms have successful legal technology strategies with demonstratable positive results. This is not a unique feature of Freshfields. As such, the candidate needed to go further in explaining precisely how Freshfields’ legal technology successes make it unique.

As Chambers Careers Officer of the [redacted university] Law Society in [redacted year], I aimed to bring awareness to the barrister route and contribute to improving accessibility to and diversity in this field. To achieve this, I launched the Society’s first ever ‘Mentoring Scheme’, where I assigned 16 candidates from underrepresented backgrounds to other students who had mini pupillage/ pupillage experience. By working with my team of Junior Mooting Officers, we contacted and successfully recruited 20 barristers from top sets like Doughty Street Chambers and 3 Verulam Buildings to act as barrister mentors. The scheme was incredibly successful, with a 97% satisfaction rate reported by both mentees and mentors via feedback forms I distributed. Our efforts led to the [redacted university] Law Society being nominated for the LawCareers.Net [redacted year] ‘Best Careers Events’ award.

Feedback: The candidate now addresses the final element of the question, namely “Why me?”. This is a strong paragraph with very few weaknesses. First, you should note how the candidate gets straight into an example rather than simply listing out their skills to the recruiter. In turn, this means the recruiter can freely infer a variety of competencies from the candidate’s writing. In your own writing, you must prove that you have skills/competencies by identifying a specific example and dissecting the exact steps you took throughout. This allows the recruiter to interpret your skills from the various steps/actions that you took.

The candidate also makes good use of the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) in two regards. First, the candidate describes their steps/actions in specific and quantified numerical detail. We are given the complete context surrounding (1) the number of people this candidate worked with and (2) the specific number of barristers this candidate recruited into the scheme. This gives the recruiter an insight into the scale of this candidate’s actions, which in turn makes it more persuasive.

Secondly, the candidate describes the results of their actions exceptionally well. You should note the level of detail and specificity used by the candidate. Not only does the candidate identify a specific statistical success rate of 97%, but they also identify a named and specific award nomination that they received as a direct consequence of the candidate’s actions. In your own writing, you should describe the result in similar levels of detail. You should give the recruiter a complete insight into your achievements. Where possible, this should include numerical and statistical details that quantify your results. In turn, this will substantiate your actions and add persuasive weight to your writing.

However, the candidate needed to provide further details on the steps/actions they took. Currently, the candidate’s steps/actions are quite vague and generic. We are given relatively little insight into the candidate’s own actions, beyond the fact that they simply “worked with their team” and “contacted/recruited barristers”. At no point does the candidate tell us (1) the specific challenges they faced, nor (2) the specific methods of teamwork they used or (3) the strategies they used to recruit barristers. Most of the marks for competency questions lie in the actions, as recruiters will read your steps/actions and infer your skills from them. As such, you need to unpack your actions in as much specific detail as possible.

Introduce us to a topic you know about and explain why it interests you.  (Up to 300 words)

A topic I love is Miranda Fricker’s ‘Epistemic Injustices’. Although a philosophical concept, it has legal and social ramifications. The term refers to unfairness or inequity (injustice) with regards to knowledge (epistemic).

According to Fricker, there are two types of epistemic injustice: testimonial (relating to testimony) injustice, and hermeneutical (relating to interpretation) injustice. Testimonial injustice occurs when an individual’s knowledge is purposefully ignored or not believed due to the testifying individual being part of a certain group. Fricker often cites women; this is ever pertinent in today’s post-‘Me Too’ society.

Hermeneutical injustice occurs when an individual’s experience, and knowledge thereof, is not understood due to a lack of concepts, terms, or language, that are apt enough to describe and explain such an experience. A key example would be the term ‘sexual harassment’, which was only coined in the 1970s. Prior to this period, women had no adequate tools to accurately describe the behaviour levied against them, and so were likely to be misunderstood or ignored due to ignorance.

 This topic fascinates me for a number of reasons. First, the topic has ramifications far beyond its original field. Often Philosophy is seen as a collection of abstract concepts with no real application: Fricker’s developments are starkly unlike this. Fricker’s theories have use in understanding modern society, and indeed, the history of the legal system. Second, the concept is useful in my quotidian academic work – I always like to apply what I’ve learnt, and have an insatiable desire to learn more.

The holistic and eclectic uses of theories excite me: I enjoy applying prior knowledge to new situations, and drawing parallels between differing phenomena. My interest in Fricker typifies this as it allows me to engage in Sociology, Politics, History, and Law, and string them all together in a contemporary setting.

[Feedback: This question tests your ability to communicate with clarity.  Clarity of writing usually follows clarity of thought.  You should think of what you want to say, then say it as simply as possible.  The question is open-ended in nature.  This provides ample scope for weak candidates to go wrong, but outstanding candidates will pick an interesting topic, successfully simplify it while communicating their passion (or at least interest) in the topic and their natural curiosity (which is a great attribute for an aspiring lawyer!).

This is an excellent answer.  The candidate bravely picks a complicated topic and makes it easy to understand.  Non-law students probably have an advantage here - it’s easier to write about something interesting and novel. 

We like that the candidate makes his topic relevant by linking it to “Me Too”.  This helps answer the reviewer’s implicit question of “why should I care about this?”. 

The candidate should try to avoid using big or obscure words like “quotidian” or “typifies”.  If the reviewer may not know the word, play it safe and don’t use it (or at least define it if there’s no synonym).  You do not want to make the reviewer feel stupid because they are not familiar with a word that you have used.]

Introduce us to a topic you know about and explain why it interests you. (Up to 300 words).

Feedback: To increase the likelihood of your application standing out from the crowd, we recommend discussing a topic that is not related to commercial law. Instead, we recommend discussing a topic that allows the recruiter a glimpse into your personality, a topic that is related to one of your hobbies or interests, as the candidate does in this case.

Alpine ski racing has one objective: go fast.

Feedback: This is an effective introduction not only because it makes the candidate’s topic of choice immediately clear to the reader, but also because its abrupt nature succeeds in capturing the attention of the latter right from the get-go.

There are four main disciplines - slalom, giant slalom, super-G, and downhill. The former two have sharp turns within a short distance, technical events, while the latter are speed events with minimal turns enabling racers to reach upwards of ninety miles per hour. At such speeds, the risk of serious injury such as a broken spine or knee is significant.

Rather than the leg, the muscles most vital to a racer are found within their abdomen or core. During a single downhill turn, Olympians must resist substantial gravitational force creating the sensation of being double or triple one's normal body weight. A strong core is crucial to simply remaining upright.

Feedback:: In these paragraphs, the candidate addresses the first part of the prompt, i.e., “Introduce us to a topic you know about”. Under the assumption that the reader is not familiar with their topic of choice, they paint a reasonably clear picture of Alpine ski racing and avoid engaging in an overwhelming discussion of the minutiae of the sport. To achieve a similar effect, we recommend that you focus on solely discussing information essential to understanding your topic of choice and that you do so in less than 150 words.

Alpine ski racing has not only been my passion, but my lifestyle, since the age of four. After ten years of training, typically for five days per week, I was headhunted for and recruited into the Great British Junior Ski Squad. Although I have now retired from competitive sport, the mental challenge as well as the camaraderie are aspects that helped me to commit in the longer-term.

Success in ski racing is about making the correct split-second decisions to stay in control. The key is avoiding over-manoeuvres through calmness and moderation, which do not come as easily as fear does at top speeds. The largest barriers to mental resilience are the unpredictability of the racecourse itself combined with uncompromising mountain conditions such as racing through a blizzard.

Camaraderie within ski racing, despite being a solo sport, is profound. Though competitions pit teammates against one another, being on the podium together is regarded by many as the greatest reward. Throughout my training experience, racers were unreserved in their dedication to reciprocal feedback to improve the abilities of the team as a whole.

Feedback: In these paragraphs, the candidate addresses the second part of the prompt, i.e., “explain why it interests you”. They clearly outline three reasons for being interested in Alpine ski racing, i.e., the mental challenge posed by the sport, the camaraderie involved in it, as well as their resulting commitment to it, and explain each one in turn. What makes this answer particularly effective is the fact that it relates to an extra-curricular activity in which the candidate has engaged for a prolonged period of time, meaning that they have likely developed a genuine interest in it and are able to express it with relative ease. To achieve a similar effect, we recommend choosing a topic that you are genuinely interested in, as opposed to a topic that you think will impress or shock the reader.  

Introduce us to a topic you know about and explain why it interests you.

(We are looking for structure and succinctness in your answer. Your answer does not need to be related to law or HSF and it is a chance for us to find out more about you and your interests) (Up to 300 words, inclusive of character limit)

I have been interested in the impact of the constitutional principle of secularism in France, otherwise known as ‘la laicité’, and subsequently the intentional treatment of Muslim women, since discovering it as part of my French A level. In brief, this law means that citizens are not allowed to wear overt symbols of a religious nature, including Muslim veils, in public with sanctions including fines, citizenship courses and even threats of deportation. This incredibly restricts French Muslim women’s freedom of movement and access to the public sphere because, if they wish to stay true to their religion and values, they must remain hidden.

Feedback: : Candidates often find this question tricky to answer. That is simply because the question is so broad – you can write about any subject that genuinely interests you. Herbert Smith Freehills (HSF) are simply testing your analytical skills with this question. If you can concisely summarise a topic that interests you in an accessible and straightforward manner, before analysing 1-2 reasons why it interests you, then you will have done enough to impress the recruiter.

In that regard, the candidate has structured this first paragraph well. The candidate’s first sentence answers the question directly from the outset. The recruiter knows what topic interests the candidate straight away. Not only does this help the candidate focus their subsequent writing, but it also gives them a good logical base from which they can develop and build their arguments. You should follow the same approach. It is important to state your argument/point from the outset, so the recruiter understands your argument and is confident that you are answering the question properly.

Then, the candidate spends the remainder of this paragraph providing a concise summary of (1) the topic that interests them and (2) the reasons it interests them. Generally, we think the candidate has explained the subject concisely and accessibly. We are given a clear insight into how Muslim women are treated in France, together with (1) a concise insight into the specific laws they are governed by and (2) the precise consequences should they decide not to follow these rules. Finally, the candidate concludes the paragraph with a succinct insight into the practical consequences of these rules for Muslim women in France. You should aim for similar levels of accessibility and clarity in your own writing. It’s important to remember precisely why HSF are asking about this question. They want to test whether you can write about your interests in a way that other people (who do not have the same interest) can understand. This is a fundamental skill in commercial law. You will be drafting complex documents and explaining difficult legal clauses/concepts to clients who do not ultimately understand the law. As such, you need to be able to explain these concepts in an accessible and simple manner. This question tests precisely that skill.

The candidate should have nonetheless improved their writing in the following regards:

1. The candidate’s writing could have been even clearer at times. Some of the writing still depends on jargon which the candidate never explains, such as “la laicité” and the “constitutional principle of secularism”. This terminology makes sense to Law and Politics students (who will have studied constitutional principles), but it will not be picked up on as quickly by people outside these academic spheres. If in doubt, you should make sure that any academic terminology is defined in full.

2. As a structural point, the candidate’s writing is long-winded and harder to follow at many points. The candidate relies on long sentences and commas to get relatively straightforward points across. In turn, this might lead the recruiter to question whether the candidate can write concisely and accessibly. For avoidance of doubt, you should write in simple sentences of varied structure and length wherever possible.

3. There are occasional stylistic faults which the candidate needs to correct. For instance, “A level” should be written as “A-Level”. This is a minor comment, but avoiding typos like these can go a long way in demonstrating your attention to detail to the recruiter. HSF are notoriously picky about typos, so you need to make sure that your writing stacks up grammatically.

Having studied the language and culture since the age of 10 and being from [redacted country of French origin] which still holds cultural congruences with the country, I am shocked by the disparity in the treatment of women between the two jurisdictions. Unfairness like this upsets me and is one of the key reasons I became interested in studying law. What I find most exasperating is the hypocrisy of France’s treatment of Muslim women. Reflecting on France’s management of Covid-19, I believe the Islamophobic motives behind this law were revealed. With mandates on the wearing of masks for the entire population covering the majority of the face like the niqab, I struggle to comprehend why a mask is allowed and Muslim veils are forbidden for “national security” reasons. Furthermore, France’s hypocrisy was accentuated recently by President Macron’s vocal support of Iranian protesters angry over the death of Jina Mahsa Amini. In likeness to Iran, France fails to afford women the fundamental right of the freedom of choice regarding religious clothing by reversely forcing them to be secular. Yet France, alongside the international community, is quick to condemn Iran and fails to recognise its own mistreatment of the Muslim community, which needs to be spotlighted. More must be done to aid Muslim women both internationally and in France.

Feedback: Now that the candidate has contextualised the answer, they take a sensible approach by using this paragraph to detail their interest in the topic chosen. First, you should note how the candidate uses convincing personal evidence to explain how their interest in this field developed. The candidate identifies a specific personal reason for interest, before going on to explain why they are interested in the point. You should aim to back up your own writing with similar personal examples. If you can identify evidence from your background, work experience or university/educational extra-curricular activities that objectively demonstrate your interest, then this will make your overall argument for more convincing.

Secondly, the paragraph follows logically from the previous paragraph. The candidate used the first paragraph to summarise their interest in the treatment of Muslim women in France. Now, the candidate develops this interest and ties it in with their own experiences/background. This results in a coherent answer that has a good logical flow overall. You should remember that this answer is testing your ability to analyse issues that interest you, as well as your ability to communicate in an accessible and simple manner.

We think the candidate needs to improve in the following ways:

1. The candidate’s analysis is currently very one-sided. For instance, the candidate asserts that France are “hypocrites” for mandating mask-wearing whilst also banning the wearing of veils in public. What the candidate fails to consider is France’s rationales for each policy. It is quite conceivable that a country can mandate mask-wearing for medical reasons, while banning displays of religious symbolism in public for different reasons. In your own writing, you should be confident enough to take a side whilst also addressing potential counterarguments. This is your opportunity to showcase critical thinking skills, so you need to highlight that you can take a measured view that addresses any potential counter-arguments.

2. The candidate makes some strong statements without fully developing them. For instance, the candidate asserts that France are “hypocrites” for condemning the death of Jina Mahsa Amini. However, the candidate never makes it clear precisely how the situation in France compares to the situation in Iran.

3. The candidate’s writing tends to go off on tangents at times. This makes the candidate’s writing unfocused and incongruous in some places. For instance, the candidate asserts that France are “forcing secularism” by adopting this policy. It is not quite clear what the candidate means by this or how it follows from their previous writing. The candidate has previously mentioned that France have banned overt displays of religious symbols in public, but hasn’t mentioned anything about France banning religion altogether (which is not the case!). This results in the candidate’s writing being logically inconsistent in places.

4. The candidate’s tone veers into the informal at times. This is because the candidate uses emotive language such as “I struggle to comprehend” and “this upsets me”. In turn, this makes the candidate’s writing seem less professional and formal. It’s good to be passionate about an issue, but you need to demonstrate that you can take a nuanced and measured view.

To avoid these issues, you should re-read your writing and ideally have a second person review and critique it. This will help you identify any logical issues with your argument, which will in turn demonstrate your critical thinking skills.

Please tell us about your extracurricular activities and interests. What transferable skills have you gained through these that will be directly relevant to a legal career? 350 words

I was an adviser at the University of Bristol Law Clinic. Throughout this role I advised oftentimes vulnerable clients on litigious civil matters. Specific tasks which I undertook, included: interviewing clients; contacting bodies and opposing parties on clients’ behalves; undertaking legal research; and advising clients regarding potential actions. The interpersonal skills which I have honed through performing these tasks will be relevant to a legal career. I will be able to frequently apply these skills in the context of written and oral communication with clients and other solicitors. Moreover, I will be capable of empathising with diverse clients, whilst remaining objective when giving advice and carrying out tasks on clients’ behalves.

[Feedback: This question asks you to not only describe your extracurriculars but also link them back to a career in commercial law. Therefore, you should be looking to write paragraphs that merge the PEE/AL (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link) and STAR (situation, task, action, response/result) structures.

The candidate has achieved this well: they start out by simply stating their position and giving some expository information. The candidate then goes on to describe the duties of their position before explaining what competencies they developed in their time in the role and how it would assist them in a career in law.

Overall, this is a very strong start to the answer; however, there are some areas for improvement. First, the candidate could have been a little more specific with regards to what they actually did in the role. You should note that the candidate details the role’s duties rather than giving an example of what they did in executing those duties: for example, they could have mentioned a specific case where they had to research [insert specific topic].

Second, the candidate could have been a little more specific with regards to how their evidenced competencies would assist in discharging the duties of a trainee solicitor. For example, whilst the candidate writes ‘apply these skills in the context of written and oral communication with clients and other solicitors’, we would have recommended that they cut ‘written and oral communication’ and specify exactly what they have in mind (for example, drafting legal notes/memorandums). This would have given the candidate’s answer some more credence and evidenced deeper knowledge of what being a trainee solicitor genuinely entails.

One final point, you should be mindful of using archaic or unnecessarily affected language. The word ‘behalves’ is not typically used in modern English and has been phased out of common parlance. Whilst we do not wish to make any unfair stylistic comments, we would recommend that candidates, wherever possible, consider using simpler language and writing styles to ensure clarity.]

I was the captain of the University of Bristol Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) Club. I have initiated a successful marketing platform for the Freshers Fair, which resulted in doubling the club’s membership numbers. Furthermore, I took a leadership role in creating a sense of camaraderie within the club by collaborating with the club’s secretary to create team equipment. Finally, I organised the club’s participation in the UK’s first ever inter-university BJJ competition. The treasurer and I applied to the Students Union for a grant and I organised a bake sale to raise the funds necessary to rent a bus for the competition. Additionally, the Students Union would not grant the club extra funds for coaching, nor allocate time for supplementary competition-oriented training. I thus thought creatively, knowing that the taekwondo club was not occupying all of their training space, I persuaded their captain to allow our competition team to utilise half of their training space. I also devised and personally coached extra competition-oriented classes. I believe that the leadership, team work and problem solving skills which I gained throughout this role are directly transferable to a legal career. Firstly, these skills will enable me to confidently and efficiently make challenging and time sensitive decisions on a daily basis throughout my career. Secondly, I will be equipped with skills required when working on complex cross-departmental cases, which require consideration of concerns pertaining to other legal service teams alongside wider commercial concerns.

[Feedback: First, we think that this is a great example, which the candidate has clearly reflected on and gone into great detail about. Second, once again, the candidate has done an excellent job of making sure that they answer the question fully by discussing their extracurriculars and linking it back to competencies and working as a commercial trainee solicitor.

Some of the same improvements that we suggested in the previous comment also apply here: the candidate could have provided additionally information regarding what exactly their competencies would assist with as a trainee solicitor (for example, the candidate could have specified what specifically some ‘time sensitive decisions’ could be faced as a trainee).

However, the main point of improvement for this paragraph is its structure. The candidate has gone into lots of detail and has been specific with their example. Nevertheless, it reads more like a convoluted story than a clear argument. Remember, no matter how detailed or lengthy your answer, be sure to stick to the PEE/AL and/or STAR structures. Furthermore, signpost your answer, either by using paragraph breaks (namely, one paragraph per structure-section), or use written signposts/introductory sentences; for example (not verbatim, but words to this effect), ‘The actions that I undertook to complete the task were […]’.

As it stands, this answer has some fantastic detail and decent links back to the question; however, this paragraph’s structure detracts somewhat from its clarity and argumentation.]

Please tell us about your non-academic activities, interests and any hobbies.  Please include some details about these interests and list any positions of responsibility you have held.

I enjoyed mooting throughout law school. My proudest achievement was representing [redacted] University at the [redacted name] Moot as a procedural speaker and team captain in 2020. As captain, I personally managed the team’s timeline to ensure we filed the submissions on time. I also coached individual members and independently linked with practitioners to provide additional input. These proactive efforts led [redacted university] to rank 6th nationally. I was also selected as Best Oralist, an honour given to 20 best-performing speakers out of 700 participants.

Feedback: The aim of this candidate’s answer looks good, since they prioritise depth over breadth. The candidate selectively identifies three valuable experiences, before drilling down on them in good levels of detail. The candidate has been disciplined in identifying only three experiences from their bank, which in turn means that they can analyse each one in detail within the word count’s constraints. In your own writing, you should also prioritise depth over breadth. You should pick out no more than 2-3 achievements, before analysing them in detail using the STAR structure. Some candidates make the mistake of simply listing out every activity/hobby they have ever done. In turn, this compromises the quality of their writing and stops them from demonstrating their skills.

You should note the level of detail that the candidate goes into here, particularly in describing the outcome. The candidate goes into specific numerical detail throughout. The recruiter has a clear understanding that (1) the candidate finished 6th nationally and (2) that  they received a named award in the top 20 out of 700 participants. These benchmarks fully contextualise the candidate’s achievements, as well as giving the recruiter a metric against which they can measure the candidate's success. In turn, this helps convince the recruiter of the candidate’s various skills.

The candidate should have improved this answer by describing their steps in more detail. The candidate currently makes some generic points, such as that they “managed” the team and “coached” individual members. Instead, the candidate should have drilled down on precisely what methods they used to manage and lead the team. Had the candidate gone into more detail about their leadership methods/style, then the recruiter could have inferred the candidate’s skills from these steps. In your own writing, you must be consistent with the level of detail. Your actions/steps and your outcomes both need to be described in specific detail.

Since [redacted month/year], I actively participate in a range of social mobility programmes including [three redacted diversity/social mobility initiatives] I was also selected for two competitive scholarship programmes at [redacted diversity initiative] and was then invited to write about my experiences in REAL’s biannual newsletter. Recently, as one out of 450+ candidates, I was selected to participate in a highly competitive 2-year mentoring programme for early career professionals at the [redacted arbitration court] for 2023-2024.

Feedback:  This paragraph suffers similar strengths and drawbacks to the previous. As with the previous, the candidate describes the outcome in a good level of detail. You should note how the candidate offers benchmarks/metrics for their success. They consistently include statements such as “as one out of 450+ candidates”, so that it is clear precisely how many people the candidate competed against in order to achieve these awards/internships. You should aim for similar detail in your own writing. You should contextualise your achievements in full, so that the recruiter can clearly identify your abilities and skill levels.

As with the previous paragraph, the candidate needs to describe their steps in greater detail. It is currently not clear how the candidate “actively participates” in these programmes, nor is it clear what they actually do as part of these. The candidate also does not explain how they were selected for the mentoring programme. In turn, it is hard for the recruiter to infer skills/competencies from the candidate’s writing. In your own writing, you should go beyond simply describing your achievements. You should explain precisely how you won them. In turn, this will allow the recruiter to infer your skills/competencies from your writing.

I enjoy solo travel to gain a greater perspective of the local communities in the countries that I visit. My most recent trip is to the Scottish Highlands. A memorable experience in Portree, Isle of Skye where I visited the local archives centre and had a meaningful conversation with an archaeologist about lost knowledge of weaving techniques in the Highlands. This greatly interested me as I could draw similarities to the erosion of native culture in places including North America and Australia.

Feedback: This paragraph is a nice touch. It explores one of the candidate’s main hobbies and presents them as a well-rounded, interesting person. We particularly like how the candidate describes their time travelling in the Scottish Highlands. The candidate goes beyond simply stating that they travelled there. Instead, the candidate describes precisely what they did and explains what they learned from the experience. In turn, this gives the recruiter a better insight into the candidate’s personality and motivations for travelling. You should not shy away from discussing your own experiences/hobbies in your writing (whether they are sporting, musical, travelling or other experiences). The recruiter can infer a lot about your skills and personality when you describe these experiences.

As a minor point, the candidate could have elaborated on their final sentence in more detail. The candidate mentions North America and Australia as places with similar cultural issues, but the candidate does not explain (1) whether they have actually travelled to these places nor (2) precisely what “similarities” they mean. Had the candidate gone into more detail and tied it back in with their own experiences, then the candidate could have developed an interesting conclusion.

Please give details of your extra-curricular activities, and any prizes, scholarships, positions of responsibility, or noteworthy achievements that will support your application. (250 words)

 Extra-curricular Activities:

(1) Treasurer  [redacted] Students Union (2017  2018)

 - Controlled and structured college finances.

 - Introduced a transparent online system for managing student accounts.

 - Initiated and ran a college merchandise sale to generate extra income for the Students Union.

[Feedback: This is a good summary of the candidate’s role. You should note how the candidate specifies their role and some specific things they did within the role. To further improve this answer, the candidate could have provided some additional facts or statistics to evidence the result of their actions. For example, how much extra income did the college merchandise sale generate? What was the percentage increase?]

(2) President  [redacted] Debating Club (2016  2017)

 - Formally registered the club and drafted the constitution which is still in use.

 - Created a website for the club. Actively reached out to students and organised taster sessions quadrupling membership intake.

 - Organise a two-day debating workshop at the university which was attended by over 100 students from all over the UK.

[Feedback: Again, the candidate does well in summarising what their role was. This time, the candidate does include some good specific detail to substantiate their answer. You should note how the candidate specifies that the taster sessions that they organised ‘quadrupl[ed]’ the membership intake and that the ‘two-day debating workshop’ that they organised was attended by over ‘100 students from all over the UK’. The inclusion of particular facts and statistics makes this an excellent response.

The only point of improvement is that there is another typographical error that the candidate needed to have fixed. The candidate wrote that they ‘[o]rganise a two-day debating workshop’. This needed to have been corrected to ‘[o]rganised’. Once again, you should be wary of making typographical errors as they only serve to increase the risk of your application being rejected.]

(3) Social Officer  [redacted] Society (2016  2017)

 - Elected to organise social events including formal dinners for members throughout the year.

 - Initiated collaboration with other societies to hold events together and implemented new ideas for the annual dinner.

(4) Secretary  [redacted] Ballet Club (2016  2017)

 - Responsible for taking meeting minutes, setting up an effective communication platform for committee members, and managing the mailing list for society members.

[Feedback: These final two positions are slightly weaker entries. Although the candidate specified what their roles entailed, they could have included some more information as to what they specifically did. For example, what ‘new ideas’ did they implement, and how did they execute them? How did they set up an effective communication platform for committee members? Furthermore, the candidate could have included some additional facts and statistics to bolster their response.]

Achievements:

 Finalist  [redacted] Negotiation Competition 2019

 Winner  [redacted] Moot Competition on Tort Law 2018

 Grand Finalist  [redacted] International Intellectual Property Law Moot Competition 2018

 Winner & Best Mooter  [redacted] College Moot Competition on Employment Law 2018

 Winner  [redacted] Moot Competition on Contract Law 2017

 Winner  [redacted] Debate Tournament 2017

 BPTC Prize for Mediation 2019

 Top in Country for Sociology in Cambridge A-Levels 2013

[Feedback: When you have an array of achievements, you should note that you can include them in a list like this. When doing so, we recommend that you include the award name and the year at the very least. You should include the awarding body’s name if you have space.

The candidate’s list of achievements is very impressive and relates to the candidate’s academic success or law. Whilst these are achievements that law firms would be interested in reading about, you are also encouraged to include other achievements, such as those related to sport (like football, swimming, chess, and so on) or hobbies (such as mountain climbing and so on). You should remember that law firms are interested in hiring intelligent, well-rounded, relatable individuals.

Finally, you should be careful with including achievements that you garnered a long time ago. If they are of significant import, then you can include them, provided you have the space (more recent achievements should take precedence). However, if the achievement is minor and achieved over five years ago, it is probably not worth including.]

Use this section to provide details of your non-academic interests. (300 words)

At University, I am an active member of the Debating Union, where I have won an internal competition. I have also been a finalist in two competitions run by the Commercial Awareness Society, of which I am an active member of. Also, this year I co-founded the Global Law Students (GLS) society. After attending first-year schemes at global law firms I realised that the Law Society is Anglo-centric in its careers support and therefore, with a group of friends who are international students, we founded GLS - a careers society with an international society.

Arguably, the most important activity that I take part in outside of study is mentoring first-year law students as a Law Parent. Answering queries and providing specific advice is extremely rewarding as I understand how helpful it was to have a mentor while in first-year.

In relation to sport, I play for the Law Society's basketball team and after top-scoring last year, I was selected as an Intramural Sport All-Star by the IMS officers. Furthermore, I enjoy playing squash and cricket in my spare time for the University's Engage programme. During the summer, I have coached young children cricket for the past seven years. In this role I have progressed from an assistant coach to leading my own sessions independently. And, I play cricket in [redacted] First Division for my local village, where I am the wicketkeeper - an essential leadership role in the team.

Moreover, I enjoy reading, specifically dystopian fiction and also nonfiction (namely Dawkins and The Secret Barrister). Also, indulging in podcasts is a passion of mine, notably The Coronavirus Newscast (formally BrexitCast) and Law in Action, as these combine my interest in current affairs and the legal system. Finally, I find great interest in keeping up with changes in UK and US politics.

[Feedback: The candidate has a wealth of non-academic interests, which provides a lot of fodder for this answer.  Nonetheless, it’s generally to provide a single, developed example instead of listing a series of accomplishments.  This answer comes across as a bit of a laundry list with the candidate noting everything that is potentially relevant to the application.

We suggest choosing one interest per paragraph and then explaining why you dedicate time to it (i.e. what do you get out of it) and, ideally, how it demonstrates that you will make an effective lawyer.  You should avoid rehashing the second answer of qualities that will help ensure that you will succeed as a Macfarlanes’ trainee, so make your answers additive.  For example, regular sport helps people manage stress.  You can talk about how this provides an effective break from your studies and ensures that you get some headspace.  Making exercise a habit in order to destress will prove useful when you are working on a busy transaction at a firm like Macfarlanes in the future.

How have you developed your skills and interest in the profession through your non-academic experiences? You may wish to include your hobbies, extra-curricular activities, employment, volunteering, sports or anything else that you think is relevant. You should outline why you believe that this experience has helped you develop the skills required to be a successful lawyer. (250) (248)

In order to fund my PGDL, I worked for a year at [redacted company], an expert network which supports commercial due diligence in M&A transactions. My work involved gathering and verifying information for clients which included major corporations and private equity firms. I learned to work in the fast-paced environment of live transactions, handling multiple assignments in parallel with constantly shifting deadlines. I also learned the importance of attention to detail. Clients expect total accuracy from their advisers, notwithstanding deadline pressure; this will be of even greater importance working as a commercial lawyer on transactions which involve complex documentation.]

Feedback: In this question, you have freedom to pick out your skills/experiences from any relevant work or extra-curricular activity. You should pick out at least two key experiences and develop them fully using the CAR structure (context, action, result), as the candidate has done so here. Then, the recruiter can infer your various skills and competencies from the experiences you have written about.

The aim of this first paragraph looks good. The candidate has led in with a specific experience, before providing some additional context on it. Then, the candidate provides generalised insight into the work they did and the specific responsibilities they assumed. Finally, the candidate provides some concluding insight into the key skills they learned and how that developed from their due diligence experience with clients. This results in a coherent paragraph that is straightforward to follow (and so be persuaded by) overall.

However, this paragraph needed to improve by being more specific. First, the candidate should have been more specific in explaining their actions. The candidate makes general statements about their responsibilities, but they do not identify specific examples of projects/tasks they worked on for clients nor (2) how they specifically went above and beyond in helping clients through the M&A process. Much of this paragraph currently reads like a generic job description, with the candidate picking up on basic points (such as that they “verified and gathered information” and “handled multiple assignments). This does not provide much substance on what the candidate achieved from this experience. Instead, the candidate should have identified a specific example/experience evidencing their skills. Then, the candidate should have drilled down on the specific steps they took in response to this situation. Had the candidate provided a specific example of a time they applied attention to detail, then their writing would go much further in convincing the recruiter of these skills.

I took every opportunity to assume more responsibility and was promoted to project lead early, before the end of my probation period. At the [redacted] University Law Fair, I was interested to hear from Osborne Clarke trainees about the firm’s culture of enabling trainees to take on increased responsibility.

Feedback:The candidate now briefly describes a specific achievement from their work (namely that they received a promotion), before trying to tie in their experience with Osborne Clarke. You should note how the candidate’s second sentence goes above and beyond what the question is asking. The question only asks that you explain how you have the skills required to be a successful lawyer. Instead, the candidate goes further in explaining how they are specifically suited to Osborne Clarke. This is the right mindset. You should not only explain why you would be a good lawyer in general, but you should also tailor your writing specifically to Osborne Clarke.

However, this paragraph is lacking in substance and specific detail. First, the candidate asserts that they “took on responsibility” and eventually received a promotion. However, they do not drill down on (1) what these responsibilities were nor (2) do they quantify how they achieved this promotion as a result. In turn, this means that the candidate’s achievement lacks in persuasive value. In your own writing, you should make sure that you unpack your achievements and responsibilities in full. Rather than asserting that you had a position of responsibility or received an award, you should unpack specifically how you achieved this and how it resulted from your actions. This will provide the recruiter with a benchmark against which they can assess your achievements.

Secondly, the candidate should have drilled down on their point about Osborne Clarke. While it might be true that Osborne Clarke gives trainees high levels of responsibility, this is not a unique feature of the firm. Most firms will claim that they give trainees exciting levels of responsibility (particularly those with smaller intakes). As such, the candidate should have drilled down on (1) what these responsibilities were and (2) how their experience can help them handle said responsibilities.

As Student Director at the [redacted university] Legal Advice Clinic, I help a small business owners, preparing written advice with guidance from a qualified solicitor. This has given me practical experience in identifying and analysing potential legal issues.

Feedback: On paper, this is a high-quality and relevant personal example. The candidate identifies a specific named position of responsibility, before drilling down on their specific role. However, this paragraph is currently unsubstantiated and does not go far in demonstrating the candidate’s skills. They assert that they help small business owners, but they do not substantiate this by providing specific examples and detailed outcomes. Equally, the candidate never drills down on the type of written advice nor how they analysed legal issues for the benefit of each client. In turn, this makes it harder for the recruiter to infer any skills/competencies from the candidate’s experience.

Given the restrictive word count, the candidate might have been better off cutting out this paragraph in favour of more meaningful analysis elsewhere.

At university, I worked as a volunteer tutor at [redacted tutoring organisation], an educational charity which provides

supplementary tuition to refugee children falling behind at school. I had to develop strong communications skills as my students’ English was poor. I adapted my teaching style, breaking

each problem down and designing exercises to help them learn. This helped overcome the language barrier and their understandable diffidence.

Feedback: This paragraph is an improvement on the previous. This time, the candidate goes beyond simply describing their job responsibilities. Instead, they start to unpack the specific steps they took to overcome the challenges in teaching refugee children. The candidate explains that they adapted their style by designing unique exercises and breaking down problems into simpler steps. In turn, this allows the recruiter to unpack the candidate’s competencies from the steps they describe.

As with the previous paragraphs, the candidate should have provided a specific and detailed outcome following from their steps. Did the candidate’s steps result in an increase in the students’ grades? Did it result in a specific statistical increase in the students’ English proficiencies? Had the candidate provided specific and quantifiable outcomes flowing from their actions, then their writing would be far more persuasive overall.

How have you developed your skills and interest in the profession through your non-academic experiences? You may wish to include your hobbies, extra-curricular activities, employment, volunteering, sports or anything else that you think is relevant. You should outline why you believe that these experiences have helped you develop the skills required to be a successful lawyer at Osborne Clarke. Max 300 words

My internship with a Barrister fortified my dedication to law. The exposure to diverse cases, particularly in handling property demolition and benefit denial matters in support of unions, ignited an interest in pursuing a client-facing role that involves legal complexities and provides intellectual stimulation. I thoroughly enjoyed drafting court submissions, bundling, and reviewing witness testimonies. These tasks offered a glimpse into the strategic thinking and meticulous attention to detail required in navigating complex legal scenarios.

Feedback: The key strength of this paragraph is its conciseness and the way it links the candidate's internship experience to key lawyering skills, including attention to detail and navigating complex legal scenarios. However, the candidate does not go far enough in explaining how it prepares them for a career in commercial law specifically. There are many other industries or sectors that someone would need to face clients and they involve complexities and intellectual stimulation as well.

My legal experience also helped realise the value of efficient communication that underpin success as a lawyer. Working with Durham’s largest outreach society, DUCK, helped me develop this skillset. In my first year as Charities Officer, I managed campaigns, coordinating with local representatives in Kenya. As Collaborations Officer in second year, I cultivated partnerships with sports clubs and societies. Both positions empowered me to become efficient and empathetic in my communication. This manifested in successful campaigns such as a championship with the Beer Pong Society and Zumba fundraisers that helped raise £270.

Feedback: This paragraph effectively outlines how the candidate’s experience working with DUCK helped them develop communication skills which are important for a successful career in commercial law. The candidate used a PEEL structure and the response is clearly laid out. To make the answer stronger, the candidate could delve deeper to explain with concrete examples how their communication skills were tested and improved through these experiences.

Building on my commitment to effective communication and accommodating diverse communication needs, I hold qualifications in British Sign Language levels 1 and 2. My BSL proficiency and bilingual ability in Hindi enable me to build rapport with clients from diverse backgrounds. This ensures their needs and perspectives are thoughtfully considered, allowing me to contribute meaningfully to OC’s inclusive environment and global reach. 

Feedback: This paragraph not only further explains the candidate's strong communication skills but also demonstrates alignment with OC's values on inclusivity. It starts directly with an assertion about the importance of accommodating diverse communication needs. Additionally, it demonstrates an understanding of client diversity and uses the candidate's personal qualifications and language skills as solid evidence. The response is personal and not generic. To make this an even stronger response, the candidate could consider strengthening the connection by highlighting specific client demographics or global markets at OC that would benefit from the candidate's specific skills.

Lastly, recreational powerlifting has cultivated my discipline, perseverance, and goal-setting skills. Noticing a plateau in my squat progress I joined the Durham Lifting Society to challenge myself. Training alongside experienced athletes, I observed a 15kg improvement in my squat within two weeks and imbibed OC’s ethos as a firm that values a problem-solving approach. At the firm this will enable me to approach legal challenges with determination.

Feedback: This paragraph attempts to link to OC’s problem-solving ethos but could be more explicit about OC's approach to legal problem-solving. This paragraph could be repurposed for applications to other City firms by merely changing the firm's name. While discipline, perseverance, and goal-setting are valuable, elaborating on how these traits translate to legal problem-solving tasks at OC would be more compelling. The candidate could also consider further tying back to specific challenges or scenarios in commercial law that require such traits.

It would be a stronger answer if the candidate went in depth with just 2-3 points and provided sufficient explanation for each.

Word count (max. 250 words):
ADDITIONAL 2

Please describe your hobbies, interests and extra-curricular activities, highlighting any positions of responsibility held.

I was elected twice as the Chair of the [redacted] Society and in my spare time I organised and attended fortnightly social meetings. The small size of the society and its irregularly attending members was most challenging. Learning from feedback forms, I increased the regularity of events, tried new outdoor activities and encouraged participation by inviting the most engaged members to the committee. The latter helped with the delegation of tasks and flow of new ideas. I organised a successful Independence Day and paintball events, with more than 20 people attending each event. The number of active members increased from 15 to 30 members, as I enhanced skills of leadership and planning ahead. I have also successfully applied for funding to the [redacted] embassy, in order to gain promotional materials. This experience helped me in convincing my peers that I have the skills required to become a Student Union officer. Moreover, at the [redacted] Awards 2018, the [redacted] Society was nominated as the Society of the Year.

[Feedback: This is an excellent response. The candidate should be commended for their structure and use of detail. You should note how the candidate succinctly details their position and what they did in the role. Crucially, the answer implies several of the candidate’s competencies – this is an excellent demonstration of the candidate showing the recruiter their skills rather than telling them.

You should also observe how the candidate uses detail to substantiate their answer. The candidate specifies how many people attended each event and by how much they managed to increase the society’s membership by. Crucially, the candidate does not merely say that they caused an increase of 15 active members – the candidate specifies the starting point. This is important, as increasing the number of active members from 15 to 30 is a 100% increase whereas, for example, increasing them from 100 to 115 is only a 15% increase. Clearly, the former is more noteworthy than the latter. Hence, when you write your answers, try to use percentages to stress the magnitude of your results.

Finally, you should note the overall flow of the answer. Although some sentences are long, the answer is relatively easy to read, with each sentence naturally flowing from the previous. Where in doubt, you should write in short, clear sentences. If it helps, you can draft your answer out in bullet points before turning those points into simple prose. This may ensure that you do not leave out any key points, and you avoid unhelpful frills.]

I was also the Director of Competitions in the newly-founded Negotiation Society. As I was partly responsible for creating the society and with few prior examples, I had to think of a format of the competitions. I devised a format of two teams comprised of two people against each other, which proved efficient when a large number of teams applied for the Competition. Overall the competition was a successful event, with the final round taking place in Clifford Chance's office.

[Feedback: This section is far shorter than the previous one due to the limited word count. Whilst this restriction cannot be helped, we would recommend being careful when writing small sections like this as you are likely to lose a lot of detail.

The candidate successfully details an additional position of responsibility held and gives a sense of what they did and ultimately what they achieved. Again, given the limited word count, this is sufficient.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been clearer in what they wrote. Although there is not much space to use, the candidate needed to ensure that they did not compromise on clarity. The candidate writes, ‘As I was partly responsible for creating the society and with few prior examples, I had to think of a format of the competitions’. This is quite unwieldy. Concision and simplicity are the two main objectives when you are short on words. The candidate could have rephrased the answer as follows:

‘I was also a co-founder and the Director of Competitions of the Negotiation Society. I was responsible for designing the format of the [insert name] competition. Given the large number of students competing, I settled on having two teams of two individuals each compete against each other. The competition was a success, with the final round being hosted at Clifford Chance’s London office.’

This redraft is 17 words shorter than the original and communicates the points more straightforwardly. This reduction in the number of words used means that there is more space for the candidate to include some additional detail, such as the name of the competition, the total number of participating students, and the year in which they took on the role. You should observe that by writing concisely, you give yourself the space to include extra specifics, which help to improve the quality of your answer.]

What are your main spare time interests? (Max 4000 characters including spaces)

My main spare time interests consist of lacrosse, university politics and volunteering. My passion for these interests is made clear through holding leadership positions in all of the above. I have played lacrosse for over fifteen years. I also officiated for twelve years and was named Referee of the Year in 2008 and 2013 by the BCLA. Elected as Vice- Captain of the University of Warwick Men's Lacrosse Team, I led my team to a Midlands 1A Championship and the University's first British Universities and Colleges Sport (BUCS) Trophy. While I was named Top-Scorer in both competitions, and Player of the Match in the BUCS Final, my greatest source of pride lies in my role as Vice-Captain.

[Feedback:  The answer begins well with the candidate clearly laying out what their main spare time interests are and their positions of responsibility/achievements that substantiate the first of their interests, namely, lacrosse. The candidate’s achievements are immediately impressive, and, overall, this is a good start to the wider answer.

With this clear structure, we would now expect to see an answer that explores these interests. You should remember that these answers do not invite you to give a list of activities – whatever activities you mention, you should follow up such a mention with some development either in a PEE/AL (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link) structure or STAR (situation, task, action, response/result) structure.

The first point of improvement regards the latter half of the paragraph’s clarity and structure. To begin with, the readability of the candidate’s answer could have been improved if the candidate had put Referee of the Year, Top-Scorer and Player of the Match, in inverted commas (as they are names of awards). Furthermore, it would have been beneficial for the candidate to spell out the acronym ‘BCLA’ before putting such an acronym in brackets (as the candidate has done in the following sentence with ‘BUCS’). Finally, the candidate mentions in their last sentence that their ‘greatest source of pride lies in [their] role as Vice-Captain’ yet does not explain why. You should remember to follow a clear structure in your answer so that each sentence serves a purpose/works towards forwarding a clear point or argument.

The second point of improvement regards the spelling and grammar of the paragraph. There are a few small errors to highlight:

1.     There should be no space between ‘Vice-’ and ‘Captain’.

2.     ‘University’s’ should not be capitalised, as it is not being used as a name.

Though these might seem like minor mistakes, they count against your application. Always proofread your work to ensure these errors do not occur as they may cause your application to be rejected for an entirely avoidable reason.]

My success within this role lies in my communication and organisational skills. I organise and lead training sessions for our team focused on technical and athletic development. I also lead introductory sessions on the weekends in an effort to grow the sport in the West Midlands. A typical week as Vice-Captain will consist of me spending a few hours structuring training plans for both my team and new participants at the introductory level. This requires reviewing my notes concerning areas of improvement from previous weeks sessions. Documenting progress allows me to gauge how effective the sessions are for all participants, and how I can improve upon them. Once I have put a plan in place, and training begins, it is important that I ensure all players are clear on what we aim to accomplish in a given session. I find that being transparent about what we intend to accomplish and why, offers transparency that is appreciated by the players and provides them with the opportunity to hone particular facets of their game in an otherwise technical sport. I get excited seeing weekly progress from both my teammates and introductory level players and am thankful I am in a position in which I can offer my extensive knowledge of lacrosse to those wishing to improve theirs.

[Feedback:  There are some minor points of improvement for this paragraph; nevertheless, it is an extremely strong answer. The candidate does well to go into specific detail about their vice-captaincy of their lacrosse team: they specify not only what their role demands of them, but also the skills they employ, what they actually do to fulfil the demands of their role, and what they get out of their activities. This paragraph highlights the importance of being specific in your answers and showing rather than merely telling the reader about your skills. The detail in the candidate’s answer is a large contributor to its success: the candidate mentions specific activities, timeframes, and opinions.

One point of improvement is with regard to vocabulary: the candidate writes ‘I find that being transparent about what we intend to accomplish and why, offers transparency that is appreciated’ [emphasis added] – avoid repeating words, as it sounds repetitive and implies that you are unsure of what you are writing about.

A further point of improvement is with regard to the candidate’s last sentence. Whilst the candidate’s answer is strong, it would have been good to see a stronger link or concluding remark at the end of this paragraph. Though the candidate writes that they are ‘excited’ and ‘thankful’, they do not concretely explain why. Furthermore, it would have been good to read a little more about how the candidate has developed their skills through lacrosse, rather than merely using lacrosse to evidence their skills. Law firms want candidates who are skilled but who are also committed to continuous improvement.]

Aside from lacrosse, I am also proud to have been elected three times as the student representative for my cohorts  once at McGill University and twice at Warwick Law School. Fighting for students' interests on student-staff committees is deeply rewarding and requires many of the qualities I display as a leader in lacrosse. Representing the academic interests of my cohort, I act on feedback from students, gathered in-person and through social media platforms, and collaborate with the university to improve overall academic experience. Most recently I voiced students' concerns on the renovation of Warwick Law School facilities. The end result of the project will be crucial to the law student experience, so it was particularly important that I be a fierce advocate for students at all meetings. After narrowing down the most pertinent matters and debating them with the Board, I was thrilled to report back to my cohort their concerns were heard and all recommendations I put forth will be implemented.

[Feedback:  This answer is a decent attempt by the candidate to evidence their work within their university. First, the candidate does well to link their lacrosse experience to their role as a student representative. This brings cohesion to the answer and prevents the answer from having a stilted tone and the paragraphs sounding disconnected. Second, the candidate provides some good evidence to substantiate their work, citing a real impact they had made as a student representative. In many universities, student representatives do not get the opportunity to make a real change, so the candidate has done well to provide some substantiation of their proactive and motivated behaviour.

The answer could have been improved by rectifying some typographical errors, and by introducing some additional specificity to the latter half of the paragraph. The errors include:

1.     A double space in the first sentence: ‘my cohorts  once at’.

2.     No comma after ‘my cohorts’.

3.     ‘the Board’ should not be capitalised, as the full name is not being used (akin to the capitalisation rule of ‘university’).

Regarding the lack of specificity, it would have been good if the candidate included some additional detail about their voicing of students’ concerns and their ‘debate’ with the board. As written, the answer simply tells the reader about something that happened but does not show how the candidate employed their skills, developed their abilities, and so on. Remember, this application form is an opportunity to showcase yourself – the recruiter is not so much interested in your feats as what your feats say about you!]

I also have quality volunteering experience, most notably in Tanzania at an orphanage and primary school. For three weeks I assisted students with schoolwork, leading English lessons. Additionally, I led a group in producing a video encouraging people to volunteer. This was a challenging project to manage in rural Tanzania, but we completed the video with the resources available and marketed this volunteering experience for the benefit of the orphanage. This experience has proven useful in my current role for the Warwick Pro Bono Groups Commercial Law and Technology project. I create videos and resources that explain key legal issues to start-ups and entrepreneurs. Aside from honing my IT skills, it has been an enlightening experience researching issues that I will likely come across as a commercial solicitor. While success as a leader is rewarding, my passion for these interests is a requisite for my accomplishments.

[Feedback: This paragraph is a nice end to the answer as it touches on the candidate’s more sensitive, community-focused side. The candidate does well to highlight what they did as part of their volunteering in Tanzania before linking that to their current work as part of their university.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have provided a little more detail in their answer. For example, instead of writing that this was a ‘challenging project to manage in rural Tanzania’, the candidate could have explained (rather than implied) why it was challenging (such as limited access to electricity, computers, and so on). Though it may seem obvious, we always recommend writing explicitly, rather than leaving it up to the reader to infer what you mean. Remember, recruiters are busy and may miss something if you do not explicitly state it. Hence, write clearly and be obvious with regards to what you mean.

Furthermore, the candidate could have improved their answer further by explaining why they think that their volunteering has been an ‘enlightening experience’ beyond their ‘research’. As it stands, this is not fully explained and is slightly vague. Remember, you should stick to a PEE/AL structure to ensure that your answers are fully developed and argue your points clearly and concisely. Give special attention to the ‘explanation’ and ‘link’ parts of your answers, as these subsections are the ones that demonstrate how your point and evidence advance your argument.]

Please include activities, interests and positions of responsibility, whether at school, university or otherwise. (250)

As a violin player for 15 years, I have achieved a Grade 8 qualification. I played for my school’s chamber orchestra and toured internationally, in addition to performing with [redacted] at [redacted] in London. I am a keen badminton player and rower, having participated in both sports at college-level at university. I rowed for [redacted] second boat, training four to five times per week, and I competed in [redacted] in 2017 and 2019.

[Feedback: These are some fantastic achievements – the candidate has written about them well by using the space to mention their achievements in music and sport, rather than just a basic interest. Furthermore, the mention of certain individuals whom they played with in London gives the interviewer and themselves (later in the application process) a talking point, thereby setting themselves up for success in the future.

Candidates often overlook their musical or sporting achievements. Do make sure you include any such achievements and interests on your application form as law firms are looking to hire well-rounded individuals.]

I have a passion for diversity and inclusion, and at university was on the committee of the LGBTQ+ Society as [redacted]. While on the committee, I ran biweekly welfare and social events, and I introduced partnerships with the [redacted] and [redacted] societies, raising average turnout to our events by 50%. I was also an Undergraduate Admissions and Outreach Ambassador for two years, supporting [redacted] in its aim to promote diversity at the university. I regularly planned and presented workshops to secondary school students from minority backgrounds, offering guidance and advice on the [redacted] admissions process.

[Feedback: Again, these are some great experiences. The candidate has done well to group some of their activities and positions of responsibility by theme (in this case, D&I). By doing this, the candidate uses the quantity of evidence to give credence to their claim that they are actually passionate for D&I, whilst the quality of the evidence highlights the degree to which they are passionate and successful. Once again, we would highlight how the specificity of the candidate’s answers elevates this section and makes it a really strong, convincing paragraph.]

In my penultimate year, I organised and ran the [redacted] annual dinner for 80 people. I led a committee of five others and managed a £2,000 budget for acquiring the venue and entertainment. To keep ticket costs down, I negotiated the venue and catering prices, and I arranged our most high-profile guest speaker to date: [redacted name].

[Feedback: This is a nice addition to the answer. Although, at first blush, it may not seem as impressive as the candidate’s other examples, this answer serves a different purpose. This example serves to highlight some of the competencies that the candidate was unable to mention elsewhere, including leadership, fiscal responsibility, organisation, and negotiation/persuasion. You should always consider how your experiences, even if they are small or non-legal, can help you to demonstrate the core competencies that law firms look for.

As a final note, we would recommend that you take note of how the candidate has employed specific detail to craft a strong, yet concise paragraph. The candidate cites the number of people attending the dinner, how often the dinner occurs, how many they had on their team, the size of the budget, what exactly they negotiated and why, and who their most high-profile guest speaker was. Indeed, this information is what makes up the whole paragraph, but such detail, in itself, evidences their aforementioned competencies.

It is always best to ‘show’ your competencies through such detailed examples (like this candidate’s paragraph) rather than to ‘tell’ such competencies (like, ‘I demonstrated my teamworking ability by […]’) to the recruiter. Nevertheless, implicitly ‘tells’ the recruiter they have such competencies by also using the verbs that entail such skills, including ‘organised’, ‘led’ and ‘negotiated’.

Despite this paragraph being very short, it is very well-crafted and should serve as a guide for some of your answers.]

Please give details of your interests and activities, positions of responsibility, skills and achievements. Please also include any other information relevant to your application.

I began playing chess at age six, and since then have won the Canadian national chess championships for my age category on three separate occasions. I have also represented Canada at six international tournaments, including the World Championships in Greece twice, and now continue to play at the University’s chess club.

In debating, I was ranked 6th in Canada and 1st in the Province of Ontario at the Canadian Schools Debating Championships and was a Semi-Finalist at the North American Debating Championships. At Durham, I was chosen (as the top debater) to represent the University at the Oxford Union and at the World Debating Championships in the Philippines.

I love arguing in all formats: I was a Mooting Semi-Finalist; I won the Yule Debating Cup this year; and am currently enrolled in the Client Negotiation scheme, Mooting, and the Terrence Debating Cup.

As Social Secretary of the Durham Ice-hockey 1st team, I plan socials to improve our team’s morale. I was also appointed Captain of the Law Club Basketball team, where I recruit new players and motivate my teammates to win.

My experience with positions of responsibility include: elected Prefect at school; elected Speaker at the Ontario Model Parliament; and appointed President of the Conservative Youth Association in Toronto.

In my spare time I enjoy playing tennis, adding to my political blog, writing for two student newspapers, and reading poetry. I have also joined the Investment Society to improve my writing on commercial issues and to expand my personal stock portfolio.

Feedback:  This answer is effective because it has a clear structure which enables the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease notwithstanding the variety of extra-curriculars presented therein. To achieve a similar effect, we would recommend that you split your answer into short paragraphs based on each given extra-curricular activity (e.g., debating) and/or umbrella of extra-curricular activities (e.g., public speaking), as the candidate has done in this case.

At the same time, the candidate has done well in terms of choosing and presenting their extra-curricular activities. They have chosen specific but varied activities, which lends credibility to their answer and suggests that they are a well-rounded person. They have also managed to pain a reasonably clear picture to the reader without giving an overwhelming level of detail or placing the focus on one activity at the expense of the others. Since the prompt directs candidates to ‘give details’ regarding their extra-curricular activities, the answer does not necessarily have to highlight the competencies derived from said activities or explanations as to the motivations for pursuing said activities. The answer could simply identify each given activity (e.g., playing chess), provide some context in relation to it (e.g., playing chess competitively for a given number of years), and, if applicable, highlight any achievements obtained as part of it (e.g., winning a given chess tournament). The latter approach may serve you particularly well if you have engaged in a variety of relatively straightforward activities as part of which you have obtain relatively straightforward achievements.

Please give details of your interests and activities, positions of responsibility, skills and achievements. Please also include any other information relevant to your application. [250 words].

Being part of the first generation in my family to attend university and member of the LGBT+ community, diversity and inclusion are a core interest of mine. Hence, my proudest achievement has been my successful tenure as President of one of Warwick's youngest law societies, [redacted name of society].

This position has allowed me to foster my self-starter attitude, evident in the negotiations I held over Summer, increasing the number of sponsoring law firms by 9 times. This facilitated the creation of [redacted name of programme] - Warwick University’s only legal social mobility programme. Which resulted in the tripling of society membership within the first month of university alone. As such, Simmons & Simmons’ legal engineering purchase of Wavelength in 2019 is illustrative of the pioneering ethos we share; an ethos that my innovative and determined attitude are fit to be a part of.

Unfortunately, due to the COVID-19 outbreak the Jacari tutor programme I was selected to be a part of was cancelled. This would have involved teaching English to a non-native speaking child between the ages of 7-16 from a low-income household. However, I was not prepared to allow the educational barriers disadvantaged students face in Warwick to continue just because of COVID-19, and so created the School Outreach Programme within my society. This allows committee members to share their personal experiences, university application advice and motivate sixth form students to make the right, informed decisions about their educational future.

Feedback:  Unlike the previous candidate, this candidate has chosen to discuss a single extra-curricular activity in great detail, i.e., their tenure as president of a law society at university. However, following such an approach is a hit-or-miss strategy; although it might highlight your commitment to a given activity, it might also hinder you from persuading the reader that you are a well-rounded candidate. To err on the side of caution, we would generally recommend discussing 2-3 separate extra-curricular activities as opposed to a single one in response to this prompt and similar prompts.

Nonetheless, the candidate has done well in terms of presenting the various initiatives they pursued as president of the law society, striking the right balance between detail and ambiguity, as well as highlighting the significance of their achievements (e.g., ‘[the] only legal social mobility programme’). Their answer is particularly effective because their initiatives as president of the law society were varied, ranging from sponsorship negotiations to mentorship programmes. As such, they were able to persuade the reader that they are indeed a well-rounded candidate. Although the Jacari programme sounds like it would have made for a meaningful experience, we would have used the word count to discuss a different initiative or to introduce a second extra-curricular activity, given that the programme was ultimately cancelled. Again, it is not necessary to draw a link between your extra-curricular activities and the firm or highlight the competencies you derived from said activities. Doing so is unlikely to disadvantage you but, since the prompt does not direct candidates in that way, it is also unlikely to give you a significant edge.

Please give details of your interests and activities, positions of responsibility, skills and achievements. Please also include any other information relevant to your application. [250 words].

I was elected to be Treasurer for my College’s law society in 2016. This required me to manage the bank account and budget and ensure that expenses were reimbursed. To expand the budget and allow the society to put on better events I contacted law firms for potential funding, often organising recruitment events tailored to the specific firm in return. This was best exemplified by a large law alumni dinner I organised which raised £2000 towards our colleges’ Human Rights Institute.

I am also passionate about personal, social and health education so, since my first year of university, I have volunteered for the charity [redacted name of charity] which trains students to teach Sex and Relationship Education in schools. As a volunteer, I have experience of speaking in front of large audiences about complicated and sensitive issues. Due to my commitment to the charity I was elected to be their Publicity Officer in my final year at Cambridge. This involved maintaining their social media presence and promoting them at networking events and volunteer recruitment fairs. This experience led to me being selected to sit on the Family Planning Associations Youth Council last year. For this role, I attend quarterly meetings to advise the Association on their youth campaigns. Outside these meetings, I conduct research which contributes to the Family Planning Association's policy development. As the Family Planning Association's work involves children, I check all my work is compliant with strict guidelines and am used to working with confidentiality agreements.

Feedback: Echoing the comments made in relation to the previous two answers, this answer is effective because it follows a logical, intuitive structure which enables the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease, and it presents each given extra-curricular activity in an appropriate amount of detail. What makes this answer stand out are the candidate’s choice of extra-curricular activities and their emphasis on the results of their participation therein.

Given that said activities also involved less straightforward achievements than e.g., winning a tournament, the candidate has also done well to draw out the result of their participation in each given activity. This showcases the candidate’s strengths and makes their answer stand out.

To achieve a similar effect, we would recommend following the ‘CAR’ structure (‘context’, ‘action’, ‘result’) and calibrate your answer in line with the word count and the number of activities you choose to discuss. If you follow this approach, we would recommend discussing between 3-4 activities, as the candidate has done in this case. The fact that they have managed to tie their chosen activities together adds a nice touch of continuity.

However, if your extra-curricular activities are not tied in such a way, do not feel pressured to manufacture a link between them – the result of your participation in each given activity can be self-standing.   

Please give details of any interests/hobbies you have outside of university/work. (250 words)

I enjoy staying active, and after completing my Gold DofE expedition in [African country] in 2014, I have tried to organise hiking trips when I can. At the beginning of lockdown, I challenged myself to complete the Couch to 5K programme. I have never been a keen runner, but I found myself motivated by the structured training programme. I began to look forward to my runs, not least because they were an excuse to get out of the house as I was no longer commuting to work every day. After nine weeks, I felt proud to be able to run a 5K without stopping.

[Feedback:  Overall, this is a solid paragraph. The candidate outlines their interest in fitness and, crucially, provides persuasive evidence in support of it. We would have liked to see an explanation as to why the candidate enjoys staying active or what it is that motivates them to stay active, but this is a relatively minor point. Nevertheless, we would strongly advise against using colloquial language and/or phrasing in your answers because it may be perceived as unprofessional and/or blasé (e.g., “an excuse to get out of the house”).

Perhaps unsurprisingly, having studied English Literature for my undergraduate degree, I spend a lot of my free time reading. As much as I enjoy becoming engrossed in the fictional world of a novel, more recently I have been gravitating towards non-fiction works as I find them easier to dip in and out of when I have less time to spare. I have particularly enjoyed combining my interest in business with reading, in books like John Carreyrou's Bad Blood.

[Feedback:  Echoing the comment made above, we would advise against using colloquial language and/or phrasing in your answers (e.g., “Perhaps unsurprisingly”, “dip in and out”). By contrast to the previous paragraph, this paragraph reads like a cop-out. Granted, reading is a perfectly fine interest/ hobby to discuss in an application form. However, given the fact that it is an extremely common interest/ hobby, it is unlikely to make your answer stand out or add much value to your application overall. That is unless you have gone above and beyond reading per se (e.g., you set up a book club). At the same time, if reading (or any interest/ hobby) is closely related to your degree/ work, your answer will likely be perceived as lacklustre or lazy. Whilst it might be the case that you chose your degree/ work based on your interests/ hobbies, it is generally good practice to avoid linking the two when responding to prompts like this one.

I am also trying to expand my language skills. I studied French to GCSE-level at school and have been utilising the app Duolingo as a convenient way to practise a little each day. I have also enrolled in a British Sign Language course, which I think will be a real challenge as it is so different to anything that I have tried to learn before.

[Feedback: You may think that putting down language learning as one of your hobbies will sound impressive on an application form. However, if you do not provide evidence that showcases your active engagement with said hobby, your answer will come across as disingenuous. In this case, using Duolingo to “practise a little each day” hardly shows that the candidate is committed to cultivating their language skills. Given the lack of elaboration in this regard, it sounds more as though the candidate is using the platform to ensure that they do not lose their existing language skills. We would recommend that you put down your genuine interests and hobbies on application forms, regardless of whether you feel that they sound impressive or not. Your mission is to allow the reader a glimpse into your personality; being honest and authentic is the first step in the right direction.

The mere fact of enrolling in a language course does not serve to highlight the candidate’s passion for language learning either; for all the reader knows, the candidate could have missed every class. We would have scrapped the second part of the last sentence because it does not add any value to the candidate’s overall answer. Instead, we would have liked to see an explanation as to why the candidate decided to enrol in a British Sign Language course, or some elaboration as to how they might approach the course (e.g., throughout their studies of the French language, they acquired and developed X, Y, Z transferable skills that will help them learn British Sign Language more easily/ efficiently). Equally, the candidate could have used the word count to discuss their motivation behind “trying to expand [their] language skills” more generally. 

Use this section to tell us about any other experiences/activities or achievements you have been involved with that you feel is relevant to your application.

Activity:

Nature of the activity you have undertaken or achievement you have been awarded. If you are referring to an activity, please remember to specify the dates and the typical number of hours spent per week on this activity.

 Activity: Python course

Dates: (18 Feb 2021 – 15 April 2021)

Hours per week: 2

Nature: I completed an 8-week course to learn the basics of python programming. By the end of the course, I was able to successfully code my own ‘Top Trumps’ game.

Feedback: In the work experience section, you should generally offer a succinct outline of your duties and responsibilities for each experience. These should be kept concise (as the recruiter will generally not have time to read this section in detail). In turn, you should follow the CAR (context-action-result) structure in describing your responsibilities. You should (1) contextualise your experience//position, (2) provide some detail into the actions/responsibilities you carried out and (3) provide some insight into any positive outcomes, achievements or awards you picked up as a result of your responsibilities.

In this paragraph, the candidate sufficiently describes both the context and the outcome of their Python course. However, this paragraph is missing meaningful insight into (1) precisely what the candidate did during the Python course nor (2) how they applied their skills/learning to code the game. The candidate should have gone into far greater detail in explaining precisely how their coding/programming skills developed throughout the duration of this Python course. In turn, this would provide the recruiter with greater insight into the candidate’s skills.

Activity: Arabic course

Dates: August 2020 – Present

Hours per week: 3

Nature: Currently completing an online Arabic course, designed to improve my understanding of classical Arabic

Feedback: The candidate does well to mention a language they are learning, but this section is far too brief. The candidate does not provide any insight into (1) the level of their Arabic skills nor (2) precisely what they have learned from studying this course. Though it is best to keep the work experience/achievements section concise, you should not omit crucial details from your writing in favour of brevity.

Language skills can add a lot of value to your applications, particularly if you are applying to an international law firm. They can also provide you with some unexpected career opportunities much later down the line (such as ad-hoc secondment opportunities). As such, you should not shy away from detailing any language skills/courses you are picking up.

Activity: Secretary of ‘The 93% Club’ Society

Dates: [redacted dates – 1 academic year]

Hours per week: 1-2

Nature: ‘The 93% Club’ society is a national social mobility initiative dedicated to improving the university experience of students from disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds. My role involved recording minutes for monthly meetings, supporting the president and communication with other committee members, promoting events on social media, communicating with potential partner organisations, and scheduling events.

Feedback: This paragraph improves on the previous. The candidate not only contextualises their work with this society, but they also get into far greater detail about the specific steps/actions they carried out. Since the candidate has described their duties in better detail, the recruiter has more space to infer the candidate’s competencies/skills that resulted from this experience.

Nonetheless, the paragraph is lacking specific detail about the candidate’s achievements flowing from this experience. We are given no insight into any outcomes the candidate achieved, nor do they explain the precise impact they had on the society during their time as a Secretary. Had the candidate detailed these outcomes/achievements, then it would give the recruiter a complete insight into the candidate’s achievements. 

Activity: Student mentor

Dates: [redacted dates – 3 months]

Hours per week: 1

Nature: I was responsible for supporting eight first year students, involving dealing with any queries, giving a university tour, and an introductory presentation.

Feedback: As with the first two entries, this paragraph gives a succinct overview of the context/responsibilities but does not go much further. The candidate should have gone beyond simply outlining what they did and their general responsibilities. Instead, this paragraph would benefit from greater insight into the candidate’s achievements here. Had the candidate provided some insight into the specific progress/outcomes for their eight students, then this would result in a more persuasive paragraph overall.

Activity: B-Enterprise Bootcamp:

Dates: [redacted dates – 3 days]

Hours per week: 24 hours over three days

Nature of activity: Team captain of six students, tasked with creating a pitch for a technology product that solves a real-life issue. The team was one of six, out of a total of eighteen, to reach the semi-finals. Managed the team by creating a schedule, delegating tasks according to each member’s strengths and ensuring that any conflicts were dealt with efficiently.

Feedback: You should note how the candidate uses specific numerical detail in this paragraph. We are given precise insight into (1) the number of students this candidate captained and (2) precisely how many people this candidate competed against. As an improvement from the previous paragraph, the candidate also gets into more detail about their actual achievement (namely that they finished in the semi-finals out of 18 others). This results in a more persuasive paragraph that gives the recruiter a complete insight into the candidate’s achievements.

The candidate should have gotten into slightly more detail about precisely how they identified each member’s strengths, delegated tasks and resolved conflicts. Currently, the candidate simply asserts that they did each of these steps without ever unpacking the precise methods they used. Had the candidate done so, they would give the recruiter more space to infer the candidate’s various leadership/teamwork skills.

Tell us about responsibilities you have taken on outside of work and/or study (250)

I was elected as the publicity officer for [redacted Russell Group university society], a sustainability society that raises awareness about climate change. I dedicated 6 hours every week to create posters, infographics, update our social media pages and spread promotional materials around campus. Following these initiatives, at our termly blackout event, we secured over 200 attendees, double the attendees from the previous year. The scale of the events requires you to be organised, meticulous and solutions based. As an executive member, it is essential to have solutions prepared for potential technical difficulties and operational faults. Furthermore, working in an executive team of 10 emphasises the importance of communication and collaboration. It was also key to be confident and well informed as each executive member is required to lead climate change awareness sessions on campus.

In October 2017, I was elected as social secretary of [redacted Russell Group university society]. It is a society which encourages those from low socio-economic backgrounds to consider higher education. I worked in an executive committee of eight, led presentations about higher education in local schools and structured the society’s social calendar. I wanted to use the social calendar to incentivise volunteers and increase subscriptions to the society. I arranged a variety of events ranging from dinners to board game evenings. This required me to negotiate prices with vendors, and liaise with our external partner, Teach First. I presented the annual social calendar at the universities societies fair wherein interest trebled to over 300 individuals from the previous year.

Feedback: This answer is effective overall because it follows a sensible structure, which allows the recruiter to follow the candidate’s line of reasoning with relative ease. The candidate has done well in identifying two strong examples of their extra-curricular positions of responsibility and in providing appropriate amounts of detail in relation to each.

In particular, the candidate does well in emphasising the results of their actions. In the first paragraph, we are given highly precise details about the results of the candidate’s participation. In the first paragraph, the candidate tells us not only that their event secured over 200 attendees but also that this was double the previous year’s number. In the second paragraph, the candidate explains that their actions not only led to interest from 300 individuals but also that this was 3x the number from the previous year. By providing specific numbers and comparing them against previous years, the candidate adds weight and gravity to their overall achievements. This makes for two highly convincing paragraphs overall. You should aim for similar detail in your own answers.

To achieve a similar effect, you should adopt the CAR structure as the candidate has done here (context, action, result). You should then adjust your answer in line with the word count and the activities you choose to discuss. If you follow this approach, you should discuss 2-3 positions of responsibility in depth.

What activities do you pursue outside of work and/or study? Outline any individual and team outstanding achievements. (250 Words)

 - What responsibilities have you taken on?
 - Why did you take on the responsibility?
 - How did you motivate yourself to achieve it?
 - What team activities have you taken part in?
 - What did you do to work together with the team?
 - What was your role in the team?

As an avid football player, I founded and trained the [redacted] Football neighbourhood team. During my university summer vacation, I returned to [redacted country] to train the all-girls teams. My job as founder and trainer is actively working with people to plan training schedules and decide on practice locations before all tournaments. By collaborating and actively listening to my team, I developed a more robust skill set in organisation and team working.

While at university, I developed a key interest in commercial law. To keep up with trends, I created an online commercial law blog known as [redacted] , where I discussed both broader commercial issues and market trends that stem from them. My blog has seen over 6,000 views. I aim to have it up to 20,000 by the end of 2020. This blog has allowed me to harness better drafting skills, as well as, developing a good eye for detail as I have to check my articles a few times to ensure there are no grammatical errors before uploading it to my blog.

Additionally, I have consistently been volunteering for ‘7 cups’ which is a site dedicated to helping at-risk suicidal individuals who I am passionate about helping. My role is to actively listen, ask questions, and advise individuals on how to tackle these problems. I have received a few awards such as the Active Listener award, Loyal Friend award and the Open-Door award. Through this experience, I have learned how to listen actively and influence them positively.

[Feedback: This is a good answer.  The candidate has three relevant examples of extracurricular activities, which an impressive amount to juggle alongside academic commitments. 

In this case, Stephenson Harwood has indicated that they want you to speak about personal responsibility and teamwork.  We suggest that you provide one example of each and properly develop it.  In this case, we would focus the football example on teamwork and the blogging on personal responsibility.  While it’s helpful to demonstrate the number of different activities that you are involved in, we suggest focusing on depth over breadth.  The candidate could put more emphasis on how she worked effectively in her team and what the final outcome was (e.g. smoothly executed season of football).]

What do you do in your spare time? (100 words)

I frequently participate in Parkrun, a timed 5km run which takes place every Saturday at 9:00am. Although at first simply a productive start to the weekend, this event transformed into a competitive and enjoyable social activity I highly value. I befriended like-minded individuals, with whom I have often enjoyed a post-parkrun brunch. Moreover, implementing regular exercise alongside maintaining a balanced diet allowed me to reach my goal of decreasing my 5km time from 31 minutes to 25 minutes and 56 seconds. This leads me to my current goal of achieving a sub 25-minute parkrun, and to complete a 10km race.

Feedback: This word count is extremely short, which makes it challenging to write an effective answer.  A clear structure supports a succinct answer.  We recommend a simple structure here: (1) identify an activity that you enjoy (singular in this case because the word count is limited) and (2) provide at least two developed reasons explaining why you invest your time in the activity.

The candidate does well to choose a non-law interest, showing first and foremost they are a well-rounded person. The level of detail included here is great, lending credibility to the answer and piquing the interest of the reviewer. The example is well chosen as it demonstrates skills that law firms desire in candidates: commitment, healthy competitiveness, ambition, being goal-oriented, organisation, and approachability.

For open-ended, personal questions like this, we recommend following the candidate’s example and choosing to talk about something you have genuine passion for. This will ensure your answer comes across as authentic and is captivating for the reader. Although not strictly necessary, it is also beneficial to ensure your answer demonstrates skills transferable to the legal profession, as shown above. 

Please tell us about your personal interests, positions of responsibility, scholarships, awards or prizes that will enhance your application to Taylor Wessing. (250 words max) *

I recently started running 20 kilometres per week. I find running not only physically demanding but also mentally challenging. However, I am motivated by incremental progress and the pursuit of self-improvement. I researched training methods and incorporated long distance recovery runs with shorter, high intensity runs. In October, I accomplished my goal of running five kilometres in under twenty minutes, which I had been working on for several months. I am currently working towards a ten-kilometre goal.

Feedback: This is a strong paragraph because the candidate paints it with specific numbers and details. The candidate goes beyond simply describing an interest in running at a basic level. Instead, the candidate traces their progression throughout the paragraph and colours it with specific numbers/details. In turn, this adds gravity to the candidate’s writing and quantifies their achievements. The recruiter is given a full insight into (1) why running personally appeals to them, (2) a specific objective they sought to achieve through running and (3) a quantified and specific outcome that resulted from their efforts. In turn, this allows the recruiter to pick out the candidate’s various skills and qualities from their actions. You should not shy away from describing your sporting, musical or other personal achievements in your own writing. Not only will they present you as a well-rounded person, but they give recruiters a lot of space to infer your competencies and qualities.

As a minor point, the candidate could have drilled down on specifically how they achieved their objectives. Specifically, the candidate should have identified (1) how they adapted to these new training methods and (2) the challenges they faced (and ultimately how they overcame the challenges). This would allow the recruiter to infer the candidate’s resilience/personal qualities to a higher level.

My enjoyment of acting has provided me with opportunities to partake in varied productions. I undertook significant responsibility for one such play at university which we took to the Edinburgh Fringe. I worked with castmates to direct and manage scenery, costumes and front-of-house. I have also attained distinction for every [redacted drama school] exam, from Grade One to Eight.

Feedback: The candidate uses good levels of detail consistently throughout this answer. First, the candidate does well in mentioning that their production took place at Edinburgh Fringe. This minor detail helps the candidate contextualise their achievements succinctly, whilst also adding persuasive weight to their achievements in drama. Secondly, the candidate identifies a specific dramatic award they won for a named and prestigious drama school. By including these specific details, the candidate can convince the recruiter that they have the relevant competencies to a high level.

However, this paragraph is slightly weaker than the previous because it offers little insight into the candidate’s actions. The candidate simply asserts that they “took responsibility” for the play and “worked with castmates” on various aspects of it. They never explain (1) precisely what these responsibilities involved, (2) the challenges they faced and (3) how they ultimately applied their skills to achieve the result. The candidate alludes to the fact they directed and managed various elements, so we would expect more detailed insight into their leadership methods and teamwork skills.

In your own writing, you should describe your steps with as much specific detail as possible. This will allow the recruiter to figure out your various skills/competencies from the steps you carried out.

At school, I was elected Deputy Head Girl. I was responsible for delivering speeches to prospective parents. I had to talk confidently about academic achievement, extracurricular activities and highlight the best aspects of my school. I was chosen for this position because I developed a reputation as a capable team-leader who could share responsibility and work towards common goals.

Feedback: The candidate neatly summarises their position with the CAR structure (context, action, result), namely by (1) describing their specific position of responsibility and what it involved, (2) the overall context surrounding their position and (3) some of their key takeaways from it. This results in a coherent and well-structured paragraph that offers the recruiter a good general overview. You should also note how the candidate writes concisely. They get straight to the point in stating their position of responsibility, before outlining exactly what the position involved and what they learned from it. This gives them enough space to talk about a valuable position of responsibility in meaningful depth.

However, this paragraph lacks specificity. The candidate provides a general broad-brush overview of their time as Deputy Head Girl. They do not identify any specific objectives they achieved as head girl, nor do they offer any insight into the challenges they faced (and overcame) during their time. In the same way, the candidate generally asserts that they had to “talk confidently” about the school but they offer no insight into how they achieved this and built their confidence. This makes it difficult for the recruiter to work out how the candidate developed/improved themselves during their time in this position. In your own writing, you should try to go beyond simply describing/outlining your positions of responsibility. You should get into specific detail about the challenges you faced and the feats you achieved.

At the end of my school career, I was awarded the [redacted school prize], given to a pupil whose general all-round attitude reflected the ethos of the school. I was awarded this prize due to my ‘strong integrity and values’, and demonstrations of leadership throughout my time at school.

Feedback: This paragraph is a fairly decent addition to the answer. The candidate has just about enough word count/space to contextualise the award and explain why they received it. It also follows nicely from the candidate’s previous writing, where they described two leadership/managerial positions. This helps persuade the recruiter that the candidate has these qualities to a high level.

However, this paragraph lacks detail and specificity. The candidate asserts that they won the prize by having “strong integrity and values” and by having an “attitude that reflected the ethos of the school”, but the candidate never explains what they mean by these points. The candidate also never explains how they developed these values in the first place, nor how that ultimately led them towards winning the prize. We are sympathetic to the tight word count, but you should still provide full context and explain any ambiguities in your writing.

Required question: Please detail any positions of responsibility you have held. What are your extra-curricular activities and/or leisure interests? As a result, what relevant skills have you developed? 200

I was elected captain of the University of Bristol BJJ Club. Firstly, I increased membership numbers by 70% by creating a marketing pitch. Throughout this position, I fostered a sense of club camaraderie by collaborating with the committee to organise socials and team kit. Moreover, I organised a competition team to participate in the UK’s first inter-university BJJ tournament. Funding for the tournament was required to hire a bus. Thus, the secretary and I created and sold team kit. The treasurer and I also applied to the Students Union for a grant. I devised a competition-oriented class comprising specific techniques. Due to the lack of excess funds, I instructed this extra class. Club members were content and 85% of our competitors achieved medals. Through this role I developed resilience and learnt how to exercise dynamic leadership.

I was also an adviser at the University of Bristol Law Clinic, where I acted for vulnerable clients in litigious civil matters. Throughout cases I have developed analytical thinking and judgment skills when contacting bodies on clients’ behalves and advising clients regarding potential actions. Notably, I was able to successfully reduce one client’s alleged mobile bill by £2,615.

[Feedback: This question asks for a lot and it’s hard to pack all of that into 200 words. Nevertheless, the candidate meets that challenge quite well here. The BJJ example hits all of the topics that grad recruitment look for: (i) leadership (“elected captain”), (ii) results (membership numbers up 70%; 85% of team won medals), (iii) demonstrated desirable qualities (leadership to organise the competition; creativity to apply for the grant) and (iv) skills gained (resilience and leadership). The Law Clinic example is also very impressive and subtly demonstrates legal work experience while equally counts as an achievement.

Although the BJJ example is worth including, the most impressive accolade is the achievement at the law clinic to reduce a client’s mobile bill by £2,615 - this deserves much more of the spotlight than a final throwaway sentence! While we usually applaud short sentences, the first paragraph feels like it could use a bit more flair and feels a little turgid. The writing itself is to blame for the ‘stop and start’ feel to it and leaves the reader feeling like each sentence could be further explored.]

What qualities does a commercial organisation need to have in order to be successful in today's market? Please use an organisation you admire as an example. What can TLT learn from this organisation? 300

In order to be successful, a commercial organisation requires an understanding of the market which it operates within. A market understanding must be used to provide services to customers at competitive prices. In competitive markets, as Walmart and TLT operate within, competitive prices attract consumers and help to drive profitability. Walmart has been successful in achieving a competitive advantage through its ‘everyday low prices’. TLT can also learn to use its understanding of the legal market and client industries to set competitive and transparent prices. Furthermore, TLT can consider altering its pricing structure, by adopting certain fixed fee arrangements, to better appeal to clients.

Businesses must possess the initiative to attempt to provide specific goods and services requested by clients. Walmart met extensive customer demands for more fresh produce. Moreover, goods, services and customer service, should be provided to a high standard. The quality of Walmart’s customer service is prioritised by investing in employees and technology. This is evidenced through efforts to ensure excellent customer service, including offering employees 6-month training programmes and launching a Walmart app which ‘solves problems’. TLT could learn to constantly consider providing new services sought by clients. TLT should also continue ensuring a high quality of employee training, as it does through its culture of continuous learning and professional development opportunities.

A commercial organisation must be capable of marketing itself. Walmart effectively markets itself through its ‘promotional mix’, which uses advertisements, public relations, and personal selling. TLT can learn from Walmart, by continuing to diversify its marketing platform. TLT should continue highlighting its successful deals and awards on its website. Moreover, TLT could continue building its brand name through more frequent CSR initiatives. Finally, within TLT’s training programme it could incorporate a component to teach employees techniques to positively market TLT while working.

[Feedback: The comparison of lessons that can be learned by TLT from Walmart are great and brilliantly exhibited in this answer. This is the strongest answer of the application because it shows real creativity and ingenuity. The candidate does this well by introducing Walmart concepts and then applying them to a TLT context (e.g. ‘everyday low prices’ -> transparent pricing/fixed fees; Walmart training program -> continuous learning; ‘promotional mix’ -> branding/CSR/marketing). The Walmart research is also quite detailed, and the connections he draws between TLT and Walmart drive the message home. He does this by tying every example back to the question as well.  While a lot of ground is covered, the examples do not feel superficial, which is quite impressive. The writing is best in this answer as well. 

Walmart isn’t exactly a ‘hot’ company, and so in a way TLT is being compared to the McDonalds of everyday items. This can come across a little insulting (it shouldn’t, but it could) so the candidate could include a few words on how Walmart is one of the world’s most successful businesses of all time. The candidate indeed covers a lot of ground, and while we think he pulls it off successfully it couldn’t hurt to scale back the number of examples and dive a little deeper into each one. Phrasing in the first sentence should also be tweaked to say: “In order to be successful, a commercial organisation requires an understanding of the market within which it operates”.]

INTERESTS AND ACHIEVEMENTS

Please give details of your main extra-curricular activities and leisure interests.*

My involvement in a variety of extracurricular activities at university required me to develop excellent time management skills which will be vital as a trainee lawyer. I played in the mixed lacrosse team for three years and enjoyed going on tour with them to Croatia. This has helped me develop my teamwork skills and was a great way to meet like-minded people. [Future trainee solicitor] mentioned that there are several sports teams at Travers, which I would certainly be interested in joining. Last year, I went travelling to Cuba and discovered salsa. On my return, I joined the University of Bristol Salsa Society and went to fantastic classes and socials throughout third year. I am not afraid to put myself in unfamiliar situations and give new things a go. I was also an active member of the Women in Law society, helping young girls from deprived schools with the LNAT and university applications. In a small way, I have begun to do my part in improving diversity in the legal profession, which, coming from a state school, is important to me. Diversity is important for law firms, as the diversity of a firm needs to reflect the diversity of its clients. It was therefore encouraging to read Travers’ piece on improving diversity and inclusion at City law firms.

I am currently attending evening German classes at the University of Surrey. I enjoy the intellectual challenge and social aspects of learning a language and would be interested in picking up French again at Travers. I am currently saving up to go travelling to South East Asia, as I love travelling and experiencing different cultures.

[Feedback: This answer lacks structure.  The applicant has many interests outside of his or her studies, but interprets the question at face value and simply writes a laundry list of various activities. 

Instead, you should use the Point, Evidence, Explanation (PEE) framework for shorter answers like this.  State the point you wish to make (in this case the skill that you have developed), expand on it in an example and then explain why it makes you a better candidate.  While firms like Travers Smith want personalities, the fundamental point of the question is to assess whether you will make a good trainee.  Make it easy for your reviewer by addressing this directly.

If you competed in sports at a high-level, make this clear by referencing whether you were part of the first team squad, second team squad, competed at BUAS, etc.]

Give us as wide an insight into you as possible without referring to anything you have already mentioned in this application.

My interest in event-planning is demonstrated by my involvement and leadership in university societies. As Social Media VP for [redacted overseas university’s] Chocolate Club, I organised and promoted events, such as bake sales, dessert nights, and candy grams for special events. Working closely with the marketing and graphic design team, I reviewed posters, event blurbs, and marketing propositions before publicising them online. I planned and implemented a Chocolate Tasting Crawl, where students paid a fee to experience speciality items from four dessert restaurants. The success from this event helped raise £500 in one term.

These experiences led me to become the Committee Events Coordinator for [redacted] Foundation and Social Secretary for the [redacted] Society at the University of [redacted]. As Events Coordinator, I organised social and charity events like movie nights, raffles, and quiz nights throughout the year. Currently as Social Secretary, I collaborate with a team of five to design and promote events such as mixers, hockey games, and holiday themed events. I successfully acquired food and drink deals with an on-campus venue and collaborated with them to reserve space for the inaugural mixer event. I designed an event poster, promoted, and sold tickets for a Coventry Blaze vs. Nottingham Panthers hockey game on behalf of the society. I negotiated a discount on tickets which allowed students to pay £8 instead of £18 per ticket and helped raise £150 for the society through this event. I look forward to organising more events for the benefit of the society.

[Feedback: The candidate invokes their various positions of responsibility as part of different university societies, contextualises them, and highlights their respective high points. If you wish to achieve a similar effect, we would recommend following the “CAR” structure (“context”, “action”, “result”). To provide the firm with “as wide an insight into [them] as possible”, the candidate could have briefly referenced some of their hobbies or interests and/or explained the reasoning behind undertaking the positions of responsibility that they did reference; doing so would have allowed the reader a glimpse into the candidate’s personality, decision-making and/or thought process.]

Outside of employment or work experience, please tell us about any positions of responsibility you have held which you would like to highlight. (250 words)

At university, I was appointed as the Press Team Lead for [redacted] Model United Nations Society. I led a group of 15 members in content creation to promote the society and its annual conference and oversaw the content creation of advertisement material for the society. I also strategically allocated roles according to members' individual skillset. However, during the year, I observed that the new and younger members struggled to integrate and participate during group meetings. It became evident their lack of participation impacted the high level of collaboration that the group largely depended on. In response, I frequently organised social events centred around communication and relationship building. This maximised the overall efficiency of the team, resulting in a sold-out conference.

[Feedback: This question usually comes later in application forms as it is an opportunity to mention experiences you may not have been able to touch on in the rest of the form. However, you should not neglect this question. It is an excellent chance to express your interests and demonstrate your capabilities.

There are different ways you can go about this kind of question. We would typically recommend utilising the Situation, Task, Action, Result (‘STAR’) or the Context, Action, Result (‘CAR’) structures.

This paragraph is a good example of an appropriate answer to this question. You should notice that the candidate structures their response well. They first introduce their position and contextualise it in the context of the overall group (this is the ‘situation’). The candidate goes on to explain some of the work that they did and a problem they encountered (this is the ‘task’). Finally, the candidate describes how they surmounted the problem (the ‘action’) and what the outcome was (the ‘result’).

You should note how the candidate employs specifics to develop their answer and lend it credence. Of particular note is the detail that they ‘led a group of 15 members [emphasis added]’. Use facts and figures to substantiate your writing wherever possible. Without them, your answer risks being too vague and unpersuasive.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have considered employing some extra detail in some of their descriptions and explanations. The candidate could have specified, without too much effort, an example of the ‘advertisement material for the society’. Additionally, they could have given one example of what role they matched to what skillset. Whilst we are sympathetic to the constraints word limits impose, we would always stress the importance of providing specific information in your answers, even if that results in you needing to take extra time to make your answer more concise.

To elaborate on some other areas for improvement: the candidate could have explained how they noticed the younger members' struggles and given an example of one of the ‘frequently organised social events [that] centred around communication and relationship building’.

These details are what take a good answer (which this is as written) to a great answer. Naturally, we would recommend you strive for a great answer to ensure you pass this stage of the application process and set you up for a successful rest of the journey.]

During sixth-form, I was elected by 3,500 students as the Community Links Officer into the Student Association, a team of 10 officers responsible for representing the student body. Having experienced the benefits of integration when I moved to the UK at a young age in enhancing my cultural awareness and widening my network, I hoped to replicate this experience on campus. Therefore, I reached out to students from different backgrounds to discuss ways of increasing cultural awareness. After, I organised Cultural Awareness Evening where students showcased their cultures through creative performances. Despite having left sixth-form the following year, the event has since become a recurring event. As a result of this, I believe, notions of mutual respect and integration between students at the sixth-form has and will be further entrenched.

[Feedback: Typically, we would advise against citing examples of positions of responsibility from your time at school or prior to university. Law firms are looking for recent examples, and if you rely on evidence that is several years old, you risk looking like you have not achieved much since. Nevertheless, if you do not have many experiences post-school, it is not fatal to your application, and you will still be able to write a good answer.

The candidate continues to employ a solid ‘STAR’-like structure and uses specific examples, facts and statistics to substantiate their answer. You should note how they cite the precise number of students (3,500) and the number of officers (10) in the team. Whenever you can quantify something, you should do so as it is essential to lending credence to your answer.

The candidate’s answer is also strong as it relates to their personal experience. They have tied their example of responsibility to their personal background, which makes for a compelling answer. Where possible, you should consider how to use these examples to showcase other parts of your personality. The recruiter is a human being and will be assessing each answer on a somewhat holistic basis. Hence, if you display other competencies and personal traits, this counts in favour of your application (so long as you do not unduly deviate from the question).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more specific with their descriptions. For instance, the candidate could have given an example or summary of the ‘creative performances’ described. Additionally, the candidate could have given some evidence as to why they think that ‘notions of mutual respect and integration between students at the sixth-form has and will be further entrenched’. The statement, as it stands, is an unsupported claim – this does not mean it is wrong, but the recruiter would want evidence of it, so they know it is actually the case.]

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? (250 words)

I am passionate about volunteering. I previously volunteered at a youth centre that supports young people from disadvantaged backgrounds. I established close relationships with the attendees and ensured to provide a safe and nurturing environment for the children. During my year abroad in [redacted Asian city], I volunteered at [redacted charity], a local charity that helps vulnerable migrant women and children, often vulnerable to abuse, get access to legal justice once a week. Here, emotional intelligence was key. By managing my emotions whilst simultaneously engaging with clients issues in a rational manner, I provided excellent service to those in need.

[Feedback: The candidate makes a decent attempt to demonstrate their enjoyment concerning volunteering. The answer provides some good specific information, such as the place and name of the charity. You must include these kinds of details to make your answer engaging. The answer is commendable for attempting to link back to law. However, you should note that these kinds of questions do not require you to substantiate your interest in law (either as a career or as an academic area). Therefore, you should only bring up mentions of law if it was actually a feature of the activity at hand (for example, volunteering as part of a legal clinic), but you do not need to force such a link.

This answer could be improved by limiting the discussion to one example of volunteering and going into greater depth. The paragraph provides two examples of the candidate’s volunteering experience. However, the first example, unlike the second, offers little to no specific information.

The candidate writes that they ‘previously volunteered at a youth centre that supports young people from disadvantaged backgrounds’. However, they do not say precisely when they volunteered and for how long. They also fail to give the name of the centre. They then go on to write that they ‘established close relationships with the attendees and ensured to provide a safe and nurturing environment for the children’ but fail to specify what exactly they did. When you write your answers, try to avoid writing these kinds of remarks. Whilst the candidate’s experience is commendable, the candidate should have substantiated it with the necessary details. As the word limit will restrict the amount you can write, you should focus on one example (rather than two, as the candidate has done) and further delve into its specifics.

Similarly, whilst the second example the candidate employs has some more detail, the candidate fails to describe what exactly they did. The candidate writes that they ‘provided excellent service’ by ‘managing [their] emotions’, they do not go into any detail as to what service they provided or how they managed their emotions. As a result, the answer is too vague and risks the recruiter feeling that the response is exaggerated, misleading or simply unpersuasive. To avoid such a risk, you must provide substantiating evidence and examples to back up your statements.

Finally, be careful of grammatical mistakes. In the final sentence, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing ‘clients’. Whilst not all typographical errors are fatal to applications, they do count against you. Some firms are stricter about this than others, so avoid these mistakes. Sadly, some candidates write perfect applications except for one spelling error, and it is this error that costs them. Notably, law firms do not make any allowances for international students! Therefore, take some extra time to proofread your work and make good use of spell-checkers in Microsoft Word or Grammarly.]

As an inquisitive and adventurous person, I have a keen interest in travelling. During my year abroad, I made several solo trips to different cities around Asia. This entailed strict self-discipline to budget my finances; I made thorough plans in advance and managed my expenses carefully. As the global nature of business today has increased the demand for a high level of collaboration with colleagues and clients from different jurisdictions, the open and adaptable mindset I developed will be key to building relationships globally.

[Feedback: Travelling is a great example of a personal interest and something to do during your spare time. Such a hobby can spark a discussion in an interview setting and make you more relatable to the recruiter.

The candidate does well to mention this and has made a decent attempt at using the hobby to show off a variety of their abilities. You should note that hobbies, no matter how ordinary they may seem to you, can always be used to showcase your talents. The candidate has used travelling to mention their discipline and organisational capability. Naturally, however, other hobbies (should you have them) can also showcase different skills. Painting miniature models, for example, demonstrates one’s attention to detail, patience, and creativity.

The candidate also tries to link their answer to a general commercial discussion. This is of mixed effect. Whilst we understand that the candidate is trying to contextualise their skills and experiences in a commercial setting, this feels out of place in an answer like this. This link to the commercial world is commendable. Still, it feels very forced. Given the general lack of specificity in the rest of the paragraph, the candidate would have done better to discuss their travelling experiences further or go into greater depth about the skills they developed as part of it. For example, the candidate could improve their answer by going into more detail about why they enjoyed travelling to different cities around Asia (and they could give an example of such a city).]

Outside of academia, my hobbies and interests include photography and videography. I utilised such interests by previously freelancing as a photographer for societies at university. I negotiated flexible terms and rates to tailor my service according to each societies’ needs and budget. From this, I built a portfolio of my work - I have since been invited to take photos for local, small to medium size social events.

[Feedback: Again, this is a great hobby to have. Just by mentioning this interest, the recruiter is already expecting you to have a creative side and a technically capable side (due to the knowledge required to use photographic equipment).

The candidate has done well to describe how their interest manifested itself in practice and how they managed to monetise it (which goes some way in evidencing a commercial or business-orientated mindset). The candidate also evidences how their interest has continued by describing the progression of their work from university societies to local events.

The candidate could have improved their answer by going into detail as to why they enjoy photography. You should remember to answer the question: what do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Law firms are looking for all-rounded individuals, not just workhorses. Hence, you should make sure that you say not only what you enjoy doing but why you enjoy doing it.

Furthermore, the candidate should have been more specific in their answer. They could have provided more evidence related to the following questions: what specific societies did they freelance for? How much did they make, on average, per job? What events were they invited to in their capacity as a photographer?

Finally, the candidate should be wary of making grammatical errors. The candidate improperly uses the plural form when writing each ‘societies’’ (it should be ‘society’s’). Once again, be careful of making such errors. Making one such error in an application form is perhaps forgivable; however, making multiple errors increases the risk of the recruiter rejecting the application.]

Outside of employment or work experience, please tell us about any positions of responsibility you have held and what you enjoy doing in your spare time (please include dates). (250)

I am passionate about voluntary work and finding ways to provide genuinely effective help to others through dedicating time and effort rather than simply making financial donations to third-party organisations.

Feedback: This paragraph provides some helpful context to the candidate’s subsequent paragraph. However, it reads as slightly pompous towards those who choose only to make financial donations. Financial donations can and do provide “genuinely effective help” for the recipients. As such, the candidate should have adjusted this paragraph to give it a more professional and neutral tone.

At university, I worked as a volunteer tutor for [redacted tutoring organisation], an educational charity which provides supplementary tuition to disadvantaged children from migrant backgrounds, from November 2019 until I graduated in [redacted graduation date]. I gave weekly lessons to Syrian refugee children at their school in Bristol. My pupils had undergone traumatic experiences prior to arriving in the UK, and I had to work hard to earn their trust. When the first lockdown was imposed, I helped to codify procedures which allowed lessons to continue online for the remainder of the pandemic whilst staying compliant with safeguarding regulations.

Feedback: This first paragraph looks good because the candidate draws upon a responsibility from their volunteering experiences. This demonstrates that the candidate is a well-rounded person with a variety of interests. Similarly, you should also answer this question by drawing on any volunteering, sporting, musical or any other extra-curricular activities. The candidate also does well in showcasing their abilities by outlining specific steps they took in this role, rather than simply listing out and naming the skills they picked up. We are given specific insight into (1) the challenge they faced and (2) the precise steps they took to overcome it. In turn, this allows the recruiter to infer a variety of competencies from the candidate’s writing.

That said, the candidate writes quite vaguely about their steps at times. The candidate asserts that they had to “work hard to earn the pupils’ trust” and had to “codify procedures” during the pandemic. However, the candidate never explains (1) precisely what they did to build trust amongst the pupils and (2) exactly how the candidate adapted their tutoring sessions towards online teaching. In your own writing, you need to explain specifically what you did (using precise numerical/statistical/factual details wherever you can). This will allow the recruiter to pick out your competencies by themselves.

The candidate should also have provided a specific, quantified outcome of their actions. The candidate vaguely asserts that they created “procedures” which “allowed lessons to continue”, but the recruiter has nothing to measure their success by. How many lessons did the candidate run online? How many students participated. What positive educational outcomes did the candidate achieve through these online sessions? In your own writing, you need to quantify your achievements with specific details.

In November of 2022, I was chosen as Student Director for the [redacted university]’s Legal Advice Clinics. It is fulfilling to be able to provide palpable help to vulnerable individuals facing legal difficulties, despite being only a PGDL student. Managing the team has tested my organisational skills, as I keep track of rotas and ensure the online case management system is kept updated.

Feedback:  Again, the candidate has identified their positions of responsibility well. It is an important, high-level responsibility that clearly has some relevance to a career in law. In turn, this demonstrates (1) that the student has a concrete interest in the legal profession and (2) that they have developed skills specifically relevant to this career path.

This paragraph suffers from the same weaknesses as the previous. The candidate spends the paragraph asserting that they “kept track of rotas” and “updated case management systems”, but they never explain precisely what methods they used to keep track and manage the team. As such, the candidate’s assertions about their organisational skills are unsubstantiated. The candidate also does not provide a specific outcome that explains exactly how they provided “palpable help to vulnerable individuals”. This makes it difficult for the candidate to convince the recruiter that they have said organisational skills.

I also enjoy team sports and joined the university rugby club in 2018, despite never having played the sport before. I had to show extra dedication to earn my place on the team and was named Coach's Player of the Year in the 2018/19 season. Since graduating, I have joined a five-a-side football team and play in tournaments.

Feedback: This paragraph’s strengths and weaknesses are reversed. Again, the candidate picks out a high-quality extra-curricular sporting activity. This time, the candidate also provides a specific and quantified achievement from their rugby activities. We are given a named award that the candidate received during their time on the rugby team. In turn, this adds great persuasive value to the candidate’s writing.

By contrast, the candidate offers very little insight into how they achieved this award. We are told that the candidate showed “extra dedication” to earn a place in the team, but we are given no further insight into the candidate’s steps. This makes it unclear how exactly the candidate’s actions resulted in their receipt of the award. Given the tight word count, the candidate should have cut out the irrelevant/unsubstantiated information about their five-a-side football activities and instead should have provided more details in this area.

Please tell us about your achievements and positions of responsibility.

Outside of academia I have a keen interest in geopolitics and human rights.

Since High School I have been an active member of the [redacted Caribbean nation] Youth Parliament. As the smallest nation in the western hemisphere, being a Youth Parliamentarian is a highly influential position. In addition to regularly participating in debates and forums regarding national issues, I contributed significantly to debates regarding [redacted Caribbean nation] accession into the Caribbean Single Market. Notably, many of my sentiments regarding the advantages that the Single Market would bring to members of my demographic, were shared by Cabinet Ministers on the floor of Parliament.

[Feedback:This prompt invites you to discuss your extracurricular interests and your academic and non-academic achievements. Importantly, these do not need to be related to law or commerce. Law firms want to hire well-rounded, interesting individuals. Therefore, whilst it is great if your extracurriculars and achievements are related to commercial law, it is not an issue if they are not.

In this paragraph, the candidate mentions their experience as a member of a Youth Parliament. They relate their position of responsibility back to their earlier discussion of the ‘Caribbean Single Market’, which further demonstrates their interest in the subject matter and their knowledge concerning it. Their answer also implies certain competencies, such as public speaking, professionalism, and critical thinking. You should remember that whilst the question does not explicitly ask you to mention any competencies, this prompt is an opportunity to show them off. Therefore, you should consider what competencies your achievements and positions of responsibility showcase and include a mention of them in your answer.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more specific with respect to what they did as part of the Youth Parliament. Although the candidate writes that they contributed to debates regarding the Caribbean Single Market, they do not go into any detail as to what exactly they contributed. Furthermore, they do not provide any information as to what resulted from these debates (for example, winning opposing members around). You should always try to mention what resulted from your positions of responsibility. If you do not quantify or qualify your actions, the recruiter may struggle to understand the significance of your position of responsibility.]

Moreover, whilst at University I founded The University of [redacted] Black Feminist Society. Black FemSoc was established with the objective of creating a space of support and sorority for women of colour in academia, whilst addressing intersectional feminist issues. As President it was my responsibility to: set weekly meetings and reading exercises; engage with stakeholders; and book guest speakers. However, my most important role as President, was finding innovative and effective ways to engage with people who were neither BME nor female. I achieved this by hosting events in collaboration with other societies. For instance, I hosted and moderated a discussion between 150+ students on Twerking, Lad Culture, and Consent at University.

Additionally, with the support of the entire Students Union, I ran a campaign to raise awareness and end the practice of Female Genital Mutilation in the UK.

[Feedback: This section is another great addition to the candidate’s answer. In the first sentence, the candidate clearly sets out what their position of responsibility was. The candidate then goes into detail concerning what the society’s purpose was and some of the kinds of work that was expected of them as President. What is especially excellent is the candidate’s mention of a particular problem they faced and what they did to overcome it. Although their discussion of this is brief, you should note how the candidate still includes specific details, such as the names of the topics discussed as part of the event and the number of students in attendance. The last sentence regarding the campaign that the candidate organised is also a great thing to mention and could have been integrated with the larger paragraph above.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have refined their writing style. In the first sentence, the candidate improperly capitalises a word when they write ‘whilst at University’. As ‘university’ is being used as a common noun and not as part of a name, it should not be capitalised. Furthermore, the candidate should have omitted the colon and semicolons in their third sentence. This amount of punctuation is excessive and could have been written clearer as a simple list or broken up into smaller, separate sentences. By writing clearly, you will ensure that you articulate exactly what you intend and the recruiter fully appreciates your response.]

Furthermore, true to my Caribbean roots I am a keen cricketer. I started playing County Cricket whilst in Primary School. Over the years my love for the sport has grown, throughout University and in my Professional life I have continued playing the sport. In addition to being a stress reliever, I love the camaraderie which exists between me and my 17 team mates on and off the oval.

[Feedback: In this section, the candidate references their interest in cricket. This is a good inclusion as it implies the candidate’s collaborative ability, which they then go on to explicitly reference when they discuss the ‘camaraderie […] between [them] and [their] 17 [teammates].

This paragraph is quite short and needs some additional development. For instance, the candidate mentions that they played cricket at county level in primary school. However, they then only mention that they have continued playing the sport but do not state what their ability level is now or whether they continue to play the sport at county level. Once again, it is important that you remember to qualify and quantify your actions. In this instance, the candidate should have mentioned whether they won any tournaments recently or whether they play for a particular team at their university. If you do not provide any of these details, the recruiter may find it hard to ascertain what achievement you are referencing or the magnitude of your achievement.

Finally, much like the previous paragraph, the candidate could have written more clearly. The candidate did not need to capitalise ‘County Cricket’, ‘Primary’, ‘University’, or ‘Professional’. Additionally, the candidate should have joined the words ‘team mates’. These mistakes are easily caught by a spellchecker such as Grammarly. However, if they are left in your answers, you risk your application being rejected notwithstanding its potentially strong substantive content.]

Please outline why you have chosen a career in commercial law. Include what attributes you believe make a successful commercial lawyer and how you will, or have, gained these behaviours (include work experience, employment and any other activities / interests you feel are relevant).

I am committed to a career in commercial law as I want to work closely with clients to help them reach their business objectives. I am fascinated by the way in which businesses are driven and how different factors influence business strategy. It excites me that working in commercial law requires a proactive approach such as anticipating a client's potential problems before they arise. I find it thrilling that there is a constant drive to gain a competitive advantage in the volatile business environment. Therefore, in my experience as a [part-time worker at a supermarket], I have always taken an active interest in following the business’ objectives and strategy. A recent example is how our business has radically changed our strategy to anticipate the growing popularity of discount supermarkets such as Lidl and Aldi, and how we plan to adapt to a changing market where customers are buying less but shopping more often.

[Feedback: This prompt has many parts and should be treated like multiple sub-questions. We recommend structuring your answer to answer the following questions:

1. Why do you want to pursue a career in commercial law?

2. What makes for a good commercial lawyer?

3. How have you developed these (as mentioned in the above point) competencies?

For each of these sub-questions, we would recommend that you adopt a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for your paragraphs. This will ensure that you directly answer the question and include sufficient supporting evidence and explanation.

In this first paragraph, the candidate addresses their motivation for a career in commercial law. This paragraph’s strength lies in its relation back to the candidate via an inclusion of a personal example. You should observe how the candidate references their previous work experience to evidence their claims about enjoying anticipating problems and remaining competitive. Crucially, the candidate attempts to involve some specific detail in their evidence, for instance by mentioning ‘Lidl and Aldi’.

Furthermore, the candidate has done well in highlighting several traits that are demanded of a commercial lawyer, namely, working closely with clients and anticipating a client’s problems. You should remember that a ‘why law?’ style of question is assessing not just your motivation for the career, but also your understanding of what the career entails.

To improve this answer, the candidate needed to be more specific in their examples and involve stronger argumentation. You should be wary of using words like ‘fascinated’ and ‘thrilling’ in your answers. If you have to tell the recruiter that something is fascinating or thrilling, it is unlikely that you have presented a strong enough argument or evidence to make this claim. You must show the recruiter that you find something interesting, rather than merely telling them. For instance, instead of telling the recruiter that they are ‘fascinated by the way in which businesses are driven and how different factors influence business strategy’, the candidate could have shown this by explaining what books they read or courses or work they undertook to learn more about the strategies of businesses.

Furthermore, the candidate’s argument could be strengthened as they do not go into sufficient detail concerning their points about the career. The candidate writes that ‘[i]t excites [them] that working in commercial law requires a proactive approach such as anticipating a client's potential problems before they arise. [They] find it thrilling that there is a constant drive to gain a competitive advantage in the volatile business environment.’ However, the recruiter is left asking ‘so what?’. You must remember that your paragraphs need to link back to the question at hand. The candidate needed to have gone into additional detail about what the career entailed and explained how their enjoyment of some of the career’s facets makes them want to pursue a career in commercial law. This is why we recommend sticking to a PEEL structure. If you deviate from this structure, you risk your argument being underdeveloped or improperly linking your points, examples, and argument together.]

In addition to this, I am also currently an active member of the Junior Lawyers Division, the Law society at my university and the North of England Medico-Legal society. I have attended several lectures and networking events and plan on attending more networking events that these organisations hold in the future. I hope that involvement with these organisations will support my transition from my degree into a training contract, where I can continue to network.

[Feedback: This paragraph is more of an aside; the candidate discusses their membership of various societies and their attendance at various events. Although these activities and positions of responsibility are worth mentioning, the candidate should have avoided introducing them in this way. First, the candidate does not introduce a strong argument in relation to the mentioned evidence. The candidate simply claims that they ‘hope [their] involvement with these organisations will support my transition from my degree into a training contract’. This does not communicate anything substantive, and, as a result, does not put the candidate’s positions of responsibility to their best use.

Second, the candidate does not include enough detail concerning what being a member of such societies entails, nor specific examples of what they have in said societies. Whilst it may be appropriate to discuss activities in abstraction (if there are many different kinds), you should give at least one or two specific examples. If you do not, your answer will be too vague and the recruiter may not find your response persuasive.

Hence, our overall recommendation is to avoid shorter non-PEEL structured paragraphs, such as this one. You must focus on interweaving your positions of responsibility and activities with your arguments; adopting the PEEL structure will assist you with this.]

Teamwork is a fundamental skill for a commercial solicitor, as a solicitor will often be working with a team. In order to put the client's objectives first, a commercial solicitor must be able to collaborate effectively and efficiently to achieve the best possible outcome for the client. It is important that a commercial solicitor can cooperate and compromise to prioritise the needs of a client. I can demonstrate strong teamwork skills, for example during the Street Law project I worked closely with other students to work to a strict deadline. We collated our different strengths and ensured regular communication to maximise our efficiency as a team. Although we were all at different stages of our degree and had many competing priorities, we managed to find a system of work that fit in with each schedule. I would be excited to make a positive contribution to Bond Dickinson and eventually become a valued team member, working to the high standard that Bond Dickinson maintains.

[Feedback: In this section, the candidate turns their attention to the competency of teamwork. In your response to this prompt, you are asked to demonstrate your knowledge of the competencies expected of a commercial solicitor. Hence, the candidate has done well in including a discussion of ‘teamwork’ (also known as ‘collaboration’). 

The candidate’s answer should be commended for its structure. You should observe how the candidate spends the part of the paragraph introducing and explaining the competency. The candidate then goes into an example that evidences how they have said competency. Finally, the candidate attempts to conclude their answer with a link back to the wider prompt concerning being a successful lawyer.

You must follow a similar, if not identical, structure in your answers to ensure you fully answer the question. However, you could employ the alternative structure of situation, task, action response/result (‘STAR’) or context, action, response/result (‘CAR’). This structure is typically used to discuss competencies; however, you will need to modify it to include some discussion of why you think the competency is important for you to be a successful lawyer (we would recommend leading with a few short sentences on this, before going into the STAR/CAR response).

To strengthen this answer, the candidate could have provided a better explanation of what teamwork looks like in practice and why it is important. Although the candidate touches on the right ideas, some of their answer is vague and repetitive. For instance, the candidate writes that ‘teamwork’ is needed because a solicitor often works in a ‘team’. This is almost tautological and could be cut or worded better. The candidate would have been far better off even if they had simply replaced ‘teamwork’ with context. To avoid these kinds of repetitions, you should read your answer out loud when you are proofreading your response.

Furthermore, the candidate needed to employ greater specificity. For example, the candidate writes that ‘a commercial solicitor must be able to collaborate effectively and efficiently to achieve the best possible outcome for the client’. Whilst this may be true, the candidate fails to explain how the skill of collaboration allows for this result. You must try to avoid broad sweeping statements. Instead, you need to guide the recruiter through your argument, providing supplementary evidence and explanation. If you do not do so, you risk writing sentences that, whilst they seem good, do not communicate anything substantive. For instance, the candidate writes that ‘[i]t is important that a commercial solicitor can cooperate and compromise to prioritise the needs of a client’. Again, this may be true; however, it is not linked to the candidate’s argument and seems out of place in the paragraph. You should be looking to craft an argument that flows throughout the answer, rather than punctuating your response with a variety of simple claims.

Additionally, with respect to needing greater specificity, the candidate needed to include some additional detail in the example they gave. The candidate writes that they were working with a team on a project that had a strict deadline. However, they do not go into any detail as to how they devised a system of work, or what the result of their actions was. You should always employ specific facts and statistics in your answers. For instance, you must state how many members were in the team, how long the timeframe was, and so on. If you omit this kind of detail, you risk your answers coming off as too vague and the recruiter being unpersuaded.]

Interpersonal skills are imperative for commercial solicitors. They need to demonstrate effective communication with clients to create positive relationships and build trust. Clients will need to be confident that the firm is working to the clients objectives, which solicitors must communicate at all times. This skill also combines with working effectively as a team; a commercial solicitor will need to use their interpersonal skills in communicating with colleagues to provide the best quality work. My interpersonal and communication skills have been developed in my work at [a supermarket] where I always aim to provide a special service that enhances the customer shopping experience. This includes building relationships with customers by providing a warm welcome and offering tailored product advice and recommendations. I will always try to resolve any issues or complaints from a customer with the utmost sympathy and respect to ensure that strong relationships with our customers are maintained.

[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate addresses the competency of interpersonal communication. Once again, the candidate, broadly speaking, adopts a good structure. Notably, in this paragraph, the candidate does well to link the competency of communication to their previous mention of teamwork. Most competencies are linked to each other in some fashion. For instance, motivation and perseverance typically involve each other. Hence, when you draft your answers, you should think about the relationship between the competencies you have selected and whether you can structure your paragraphs such that they flow from one to another.

The candidate has also done well not just to include a discussion of the competency, but also to involve a personal example to evidence that they have the competency. You must remember that for each competency you mention, you will need to demonstrate that you have it. The recruiter does not want to read about competencies in abstraction; the prompt is testing you on whether you know what competencies are important, why they are important, and whether you have them.

This answer could be improved by including some more detail concerning the candidate’s example. The candidate writes that they ‘always aim to provide a special service that enhances the customer shopping experience’. They go on to explain that this includes ‘includes building relationships with customers by providing a warm welcome and offering tailored product advice and recommendations’. Whilst this is good, the candidate needed to have been more specific and given one or two examples of what this looked like in practice.

For example, the candidate should have explained how they tailor product advice and recommendations and given an example of a time when they did so. Similarly, the candidate writes that they ‘always try to resolve any issues or complaints from a customer with the utmost sympathy and respect to ensure that strong relationships with our customers are maintained’. Again, the candidate needed to have explained how they have achieved this in the past (and given an elucidatory example). When you draft your answers, you should put yourself in the place of the recruiter and remember that the recruiter does not know you personally. Hence, examples and detail are imperative to ensure that the recruiter understands what you did, why you did it, and the magnitude of your actions. If the recruiter feels that there is some detail lacking in your response, you should not assume that they will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Finally, the candidate needed to proofread their answer before submission to avoid making a typographical error. In the third sentence, the candidate misses an apostrophe when writing ‘[c]lients will need to be confident that the firm is working to the clients objectives’. Whilst this may seem like a minor error, recruiters are now being less forgiving. With more candidates applying to law firms than ever, even the most minor of mistakes can lead to your application being rejected. Therefore, before you submit your work, you should use a spellchecker (such as Microsoft Word or Grammarly) to spot typographical errors. You can also give your application to a family member or trusted friend to read over and spot any errors that you may have missed.]

Commercial awareness is an essential skill for a commercial solicitor as they need a genuine understanding and interest in how businesses function. This will include understanding how national and international events may affect their clients business, and anticipating how other businesses’ actions and motives could also have an effect. Therefore, if a solicitor has commercial awareness they can be proactive in their work and advice by anticipating the possible influences on a clients business. I am constantly maintaining my commercial awareness skills by keeping up to date with the general, business and legal news, and by taking an interest in [my supermarket] as a business and how it plans to operate and adapt its strategy in the near future.

[Feedback: This section focuses on the skill of commercial awareness. The candidate is correct to include this in their answer. Although it is not a typical competency, commercial awareness or acumen is certainly a trait that is needed to be a successful commercial solicitor.

The candidate does well in understanding the importance of commercial awareness. A commercial solicitor is not just a legal advisor. Now, commercial solicitors are expected to be able to understand a business and provide advice on a variety of areas, not just the law. You should remember that a commercial solicitor must be solution-orientated. Therefore, you will be expected not just to highlight the problems with a transaction or dispute to a client, but also to come up with the solution (which will inevitably be subject to commercial realities).

The candidate also tries to describe how they are maintaining their commercial awareness and putting it into practice. It is this latter action that is notable. The best way for you to develop a skill is to use it. This is something that the recruiter will be looking for when you draft your answers. Hence, you should think about how you have used or could use your commercial awareness in an activity or project.

In relation to the above paragraph, the candidate needed to have gone into more detail concerning how they are developing their commercial awareness. Unfortunately, as the pool of applicants swells, more and more candidates will be ‘constantly maintaining [their] commercial awareness skills by keeping up to date with the general, business and legal news’. Hence, by stating this, the candidate does not stand out from the crowd. When you write your answers, be specific; instead of writing that you keep up to date with the ‘general, business and legal news’, you should state how you do so. For example, you could mention that you listen to the Financial Times podcast every morning, or watch ‘The Open’ on Bloomberg TV every afternoon. The more specific you are, the better the recruiter will understand the importance of your actions.

However, to take the answer even further, you must go into detail as to how you have developed your commercial awareness and fostered particular interests. For example, you may have learnt about Apple’s credit card; to learn more about payment systems and their evolution, you may have then read ‘The Pay Off’ by Leibbrant and De Terán. This may have then prompted you to start your own project where you create a table that compares payment systems’ advantages and disadvantages. Naturally, this can go on in perpetuity; however, you should note how these examples show how you are expected to write about your interests and sufficiently evidence your commercial awareness. You need to remember that commercial awareness is not just about maintaining such awareness by staying abreast of the news; it is about deepening your knowledge about particular commercial concepts too.

Finally, the candidate makes several typographical errors in their answer, specifically, omitting apostrophes when using the possessive case. As previously mentioned, these mistakes can be very costly and cause your application to be rejected. Therefore, it is essential you proofread your work before submission.]

Commercial solicitors will be required to help draft letters and legal documents. Therefore, attention to detail is a fundamental skill for solicitors. Clients will expect flawless documents as minor grammar or spelling mistakes could damage a clients impression of a firm. I have developed attention to detail during my degree, ensuring that my work is kept to a high standard.

[Feedback: This paragraph details some of the candidate’s knowledge of what being a commercial solicitor entails, specifically drafting correspondence and documents. The candidate also relates this to the competency of attention to detail. In principle, the candidate has done well to include this information as it demonstrates to the recruiter that the candidate is aware of some of the work that is expected of a trainee.

The candidate could have improved their paragraph by expanding their discussion of how they have developed their skill of attention to detail and giving some specific, supporting examples. You should avoid writing short paragraphs that attempt to cram in information in your answers. If there is a word limit, the recruiter will be aware of it and, consequently, not expect you to cover every single topic in your response. Depth is always more preferable than breadth, as, without sufficient detail or development, the recruiter will be unable to appreciate whether you actually have said skill or you are just tangentially aware that the skill is needed in the role.

Furthermore, the candidate, again, needed to have proofread their work to avoid making a typographical error. The candidate has missed an apostrophe when writing ‘damage a clients impression of a firm’. Unfortunately, this error is especially egregious as it is in a paragraph where the candidate is discussing their attention to detail and keeping their ‘work […] to a high standard’. Once again, we would recommend proofreading your work before submission, using a spellchecker, and giving your application to a family member or trusted friend to proofread before you submit it.]

Commercial solicitors must always act with honesty and integrity to uphold the high moral code to which all solicitors must abide by. Clients need to be confident that their legal adviser abides by the law and acts in their clients best interests whilst maintaining high ethical standards. I uphold the principles of honesty and integrity at all times. I maintain this in all aspects of my life, I aim to be as open and honest with everyone as possible.

[Feedback: In this section, the candidate highlights that a commercial solicitor must be honest and have integrity and that they have these traits. Whilst the candidate is correct in making this statement, the answer is too short and underdeveloped. The candidate needed to have gone into greater depth about how they have developed these traits and given an example where their honesty or integrity was especially important. We would recommend sticking to a clear structure (such as PEEL, STAR, or CAR) to ensure you write fully developed paragraphs. As it stands, the recruiter will acknowledge that the candidate knows that honesty and integrity are important in the role; however, they may feel unconvinced that the candidate has said skills, as there is no specific, supporting evidence to show them that this is the case.

Additionally, the candidate has made a typographical error in omitting an apostrophe when writing ‘acts in their clients best interests’. Each mistake will drastically increase the chance of your application being rejected, notwithstanding its potentially strong content. You must remember that no allowance is made for international students. All law firms will expect you to have strong written communication skills which will be noted by the recruiter when they read your application.]

Given my increasing development of the requisite skills, my strong work ethic and commitment to commercial law, I believe that I would be a good fit with Bond Dickinson as a trainee solicitor.

[Feedback: Although this is a nice concluding sentence, you should note that it is not required for this kind of answer. We would typically recommend avoiding these kinds of conclusions, simply because it eats into the available word count. The 33 words used for this sentence could be redistributed throughout the answer and used to include additional details and pieces of supporting evidence. We suggest that this use is more likely to improve your answer than the inclusion of a concluding sentence.]

Please provide details of your positions of responsibility. (300 max)

As a school student, I was voted Upper School Head Girl which gave me a substantial range of responsibilities, including making speeches to entire year groups and their parents, and coordinating events. I learned to manage a heavy workload by developing excellent time management and organisation skills. This enabled me to still excel academically, being one of two pupils with the highest GCSE results of our cohort and awarded a Major Academic Scholarship, along with just two others. I became a confident leader as I had to make strategic decisions, for example when organising final year celebrations and merchandise, whilst simultaneously managing the various opinions of my peers.

Last year, I completed the [redacted] University PLUS Award which is achieved by fewer than 5% of students each year. It requires participants to complete 50 hours of work experience, an intensive skills activity and to attend a series of workplace skills workshops. My intensive skills activity comprised of leading a Human Resources project during a week's placement at Inditex, in London. I investigated the efficiency of the employee induction process in reducing staff turnover and was responsible for producing a report on the subject. I was to gather my data by interviewing retail assistants on the shop floor and employees in the head office, however, few could remember their induction process nor give me specific answers. Therefore, I used my initiative to undertake further independent research and approached the HR director and her team to ask for archived induction documents. I was determined and thorough in my approach, exhibiting the characteristic skills of a Farrer & Co lawyer, being a clear, fast and agile thinker. This allowed me to deliver a successful summary of my findings to my supervisor and colleagues, improving my presentation skills in the process.

Feedback: The candidate presents two positions of responsibility that they have previously held. They do so in a comprehensive, easy-to-follow manner. They contextualise said positions of responsibility in turn by explaining how they came to hold them (e.g., “I was voted Upper School Head Girl”) as well as what they did whilst holding them (e.g., “I investigated the efficiency of the employee induction process in reducing staff turnover”) in a fair amount of detail. They also mention the skills, attributes and qualities they derived from said positions of responsibility, which boosts the effectiveness of their answer (e.g., “I learned to manage a heavy workload by developing excellent time management and organisation skills”). What makes their answer particularly effective, however, is the fact that it contains precise figures that highlight the magnitude of the achievements accomplished by the candidate whilst they held the two positions of responsibility, e.g., “being one of two pupils with the highest GCSE results”, “being […] awarded a Major Academic Scholarship, along with just two others”, “I completed the […] PLUS Award which is achieved by fewer than 5% of students each year”. For the sake of consistency, the candidate could have linked both of their positions of responsibility back to Farrer & Co, though this is a relatively minor point. Linking your positions of responsibility back to the firm is unlikely to provide you with a significant advantage because the purpose of this prompt is to allow the recruiter to gauge your leadership abilities and your well-roundedness. 

Please provide details of your activities and interests. (300 max)

I travelled to India in January and had the most incredible experience, being struck by the vibrancy of the culture and the warmth of the locals. During my trip, I volunteered at Sevadaan Special School in Mumbai, a special needs school inaugurated by Mother Theresa in 1984, where I taught English vocabulary to children with Down syndrome. I explored creative ways of teaching, such as role play, which kept the children engaged and encouraged progress. Additionally, I volunteered for [redacted] University’s LinkAges programme last year, paying weekly visits to an elderly resident of the [redacted local] retirement village. By being patient and attentive, I gained her trust as she shared stories from her past; I was mindful to respect her privacy when presenting an overview of our time together to the other volunteers.

These experiences have strengthened my interpersonal skills as I conscientiously adapt my language to distinct environments. I value the importance of developing long term client relations at Farrer & Co and feel confident that I could work in partnership with clients, maintaining their trust, with a view to delivering the highest quality service.

I am a keen runner and often set myself goals, participating in the Bath Half Marathon last March and raising over £1,000 for Breast Cancer Now. Further, I decided to try a completely new sport during my second year, joining the [redacted] Jets cheerleading squad. I was a flyer and felt empowered by the mutual trust, knowing that each position within my stunt group of five was integral to the overall success of the 150-person squad. I advanced from the inclusive Gameday team when I started, to one of the competitive squads in my final year. This instilled in me a great sense of resilience and determination to embrace new challenges.

Feedback: The candidate presents their involvement in various altruistic pursuits and their participation in various sports in a reasonable amount of detail and explains their perception of the utility of the aforementioned activities. Echoing the comments made supra, it is not necessary to link the discussion of your “activities and interests” back to the firm because the purpose of the prompt is to enable the recruiter to understand your personality with a view to ascertaining whether you “have a wide range of interests and/or have undertaken a substantial commitment over an extended period of time”, in Farrer & Co’s own words. Linking the aforementioned discussion to the firm is hence unlikely to provide you with a significant advantage as part of the recruitment process. We recommend using the allocated word limit to showcase as many of your extra-curricular activities and personal interests as possible (in a reasonable amount of detail, of course).