[No question was provided in the application]

Dear Sir or Madam, 

[Feedback: it’s fine to open with this but even better if you can find the head recruiter’s name and address it to them directly]

APPLICATION FOR A TRAINING CONTRACT 

[Feedback: if submitted electronically via a portal then a heading is not needed as it will only show up as text. If firms ask for a PDF/emailed cover letter then headings are useful]

I am writing to apply for the position of trainee solicitor to start in October 2019. Having gained a First Class Honours degree from the University of Birmingham, I am currently studying on the Legal Practice Course. I hope to graduate this summer with a Distinction. 

[Feedback: Impressive academic credentials but with a CV and cover letter application you don’t need the second and third sentences here and they take up valuable word count. Writing can also be tweaked to say“...solicitor commencing in October 2019”.]  

Brown Rudnick appeals to me as a progressive, ambitious yet understated law firm with a strong international reach. I am keen to work with clients from different cultures and jurisdictions, in view of the increasing globalisation of business. Brown Rudnick’s clients have included start-ups and Northern Rock shareholders: such a diverse client base exposes solicitors to a stimulating variety of work and industries. Having gained experience in commercial litigation and followed the continuing collapse of businesses with interest, I hope to work within a firm that is well reputed in Litigation and Arbitration as well as Bankruptcy and Corporate Recovery. I am particularly impressed that Brown Rudnick is currently involved in the restructuring of Eurozone banks. As an outgoing person with a sense of community spirit, I am drawn to Brown Rudnick for its pro bono efforts and its collegiate culture. The size of the firm enables solicitors to develop rapidly, by quickly assuming responsibility and learning from expert colleagues. 

[Feedback: This paragraph answers “why Brown Rudnick” well. It’s a strong paragraph that is well written with good use of research (Northern Rock example; Eurozone bank restructurings; Litigation/Bankruptcy team successes; firm culture and size). It connects each of these examples with the candidate’s own personal “experience in commercial litigation” and having “community spirit” nicely. As a general point, Brown Rudnick has a small presence in London, but a much larger presence in the US.   You should leverage US research sources for firms like this (e.g., chambers-associate.com).  This should provide a useful overview of practice area focus and culture, which UK sources may not include for smaller outfits).

The paragraph is weakened by these two sentences as the pro-bono point is unexpected and then dropped immediately. It would be better to leave out the pro-bono example here (but keep the collegiate point) and include that in the paragraph below. We don’t love the word “understated” because, even if true, it could be interpreted to mean “not that well known “, which no partner wants to hear! The second sentence is quite good, but it would read better as “In view of the increasing globalisation of business, I am keen…”.] 

I am confident that I could contribute to Brown Rudnick and I am keen to participate in business development. My activities have made me business-focused: I set up a profitable tuck-shop at school, I secured mortgage sales at NatWest and I have initiated methods by which a construction firm could improve efficiency and comply with the Bribery Act 2010.  I am extremely driven and proactive and I enjoy setting myself personal goals. This approach has fuelled my success academically and in other pursuits such as the London Half Marathon and the Three Peaks Challenge. To achieve high standards in all of my various commitments requires a high degree of organisation, time-management and focus. My customer service roles and voluntary work at the Citizens Advice Bureau and Nightline have honed my ability to communicate and engage with a variety of people. I enjoy working within a team as is often the case and I am keen to collaborate with like-minded people. 

[Feedback: The candidate has excellent work experience and answers “why me” effectively. She systematically demonstrates her business focus, drive and being pro-active, communication abilities and customer service by providing concrete examples. The Bribery Act 2010 is an especially good example to mention as it puts her legal expertise in the spotlight. The paragraph is also written clearly and fits in quite different experiences nicely. 

The candidate could reword the start of this paragraph to focus on her achievements.  For example, “I have a wide range of commercial experience: I ran a profitable tuck-shop to fundraise at school; I secured multiple mortgage sales at NatWest and I have helped [name of construction firm] improve its efficiency and comply with the Bribery Act 2020.  This varied work experience will help me to appreciate the commercial context of the legal advice that I will provide at Brown Rudnick.” Including the running and hiking is a nice side to the candidate but there is a lot of fluff in these sentences that could be better spent focusing on the candidate’s interest in commercial law, which the application is light on. The pro-bono material from the first paragraph fits in better alongside the Citizens Advice Bureau sentence as noted above. From a writing perspective that sentence generally does not follow the previous one smoothly. A stronger final sentence could have been included, or it would at least have been more effective to say “...I am keen to collaborate with like-minded people at Brown Rudnick”.]

Thank you for taking the time to read my covering letter and CV. I look forward to hearing from you.  

[Feedback: You can scale this back to save words if necessary.]

Yours faithfully, 

[Feedback: correct sign-off used here: “Yours sincerely” when you know the name of the person that you are writing to; “Your faithfully” when you do not, like here.]

[No question was provided in the application]

[Candidate’s address]

Greenberg Traurig LLP

7^th Floor

200 Gray’s Inn Road

London

WC1X 8XF

United Kingdom                                                                                             27 April 2019

[Feedback: Deleting the “United Kingdom” part of the address saves two words if tight on word count]

Dear Sir or Madam, [Feedback: best is if you can find the name of the head recruiter online or Linkedin but otherwise this is fine]

I am currently a student at BPP Law School studying the Legal Practice Course. I am writing to apply to your London office for a training contract to start with your firm in September 2020. [Feedback: as the CV is also included with the application you can delete the first sentence. Otherwise the intro is succinct and good] 

My industry experience, academic background, and personal qualities demonstrate that I have the ability and the potential to succeed as a lawyer with Greenberg Traurig. Having interned at an investment bank in Hong Kong and worked as a paralegal for a multinational oil & gas company, I have had business experience of corporate transactions from a banking and legal perspective. My other legal experience and development of my leadership qualities through taking on management roles in a number of extra-curricular bodies has also permitted me to cultivate creative problem solving and people skills. 

[Feedback: The first sentence is excellent and begins confidently. The paragraph convincingly answers the “why you” that every cover letter should deal with. We normally suggest placing that paragraph at the end out of personal preference but it can work up front too. The candidate has impressive work experience and also relevant legal experience as a paralegal, which is helpful to display. The candidate writes well and it is clear he has gained skills from these experiences. The structure also works, as it follows the PEE approach (Point, Evidence Explanation). 

While oil and gas is commonly referred to as ‘O&G’ in industry, the recruiter may not know this and so ‘oil and gas’ is safer to use here. If the Hong Kong investment bank or oil company are well known names then it’s worthwhile naming those too. The second half of that sentence could be reworded to say: “I have experienced banking and corporate legal transactions” to clarify the nature of his work.] 

Training with GT would provide me with invaluable exposure to rapidly developing industries. One example of this is GT’s recent involvement in AstraZeneca’s purchase of Pearl Therapeutics. Developing my practice as a lawyer on by advising commercial parties on legal issues in industries such as life sciences would fit well with my existing skillset and interest in the business world. 

[Feedback: This paragraph answers “why the firm” and partly “why commercial law”. The AstraZeneca research is useful to include and shows independent thinking. It also ties that back nicely to the candidate’s own interests.  

As the candidate uses an abbreviation (GT) it would be best to include this after saying the firm’s whole name in the previous paragraph (i.e. “Greenberg Traurig (GT)”). The final sentence lacks detail: it would help to understand what about the candidate’s skillset means he will be great at providing legal advice and what about life sciences (or other emerging industries) is particularly interesting to him? The biggest problem in this paragraph is the typo (“as a lawyer on by”) - this is enough for graduate recruitment to immediately reject an application.]

GT’s small trainee intake is of great appeal to me. Due to my determination to participate in a strategically growing firm in London, I believe that working in a small local team, whilst being able to leverage the global resources of GT, would allow me to fulfil my potential as a lawyer and to contribute substantially to GT’s London practice. 

[Feedback: This paragraph continues to answer “why the firm” well. It begins with research into the GT trainee intake size and the paragraph follows up the research by actually explaining why a small intake / small law firm appeals to the candidate specifically. This is great and ties the points together. It’s also true that the smaller the firm, the bigger your impact will be.]

This quality of training, combined with GT’s multidisciplinary focus would also allow me to develop into a versatile lawyer in a manner that is uncommon in many City law firms; and forms the basis of my decision to apply to you for this position. 

[Feedback: This final paragraph connects the candidate’s goals to the firm’s offering and ends in a pleasant manner. 

The sentence would read better without the initial comma and the semi-colon is also unnecessary. “You” is too informal and “your firm” or “GT” would be better. It could also be reworked entirely to say: “The quality of GT’s training and its multidisciplinary focus will help me to develop broad legal knowledge which will lay the foundation for a successful career in commercial law”.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

[signature redacted] [Candidate included an e-signature here which is a nice touch and looked impressive and professional.]

[Redacted]

[Feedback: This is a good application. The candidate writes well and his paragraphs hang together appropriately. The main issues are the typo and that the candidate does not really answer “why law”, but makes up for this with his cogent analysis of why GT appeals and weaves in his own life experiences smoothly.]

Personal statement (300 words). Guidance from the firm on what to include:

A personal introduction – Think about what you think we ought to know about you as a person. At our firm, we love hearing about individuals and their journeys. Is there anything that makes you stand out or anything from your background you feel we would want to know?

• Relevant skills, interests and experiences – These do not have to be entirely related to the legal industry; however, naturally, the legal side should take priority, if possible. Think about your legal and non-legal work experience, as well as your studies. What is it that you are passionate about?
• Achievements – Think about what you are most proud of, this could be a work - or non-work-related achievement, or perhaps an achievement from your education. Again, think about relevance and how this links to the role of a trainee solicitor.
• What you would bring to the organisation? - We look at the whole picture when it comes to our trainees, so we want to know how you would work with our teams and the type of personality you would bring to us. Try to incorporate any legal knowledge that you have, as well as how this would benefit our firm.
• Your professional or academic goals – The age-old question, “where do you see yourself in five years?” A cliché, I know; however, it rings true with us that this is something we would love to know about you. What are your goals? Where can you see your career heading? Think big, we love that!

Currently working in legal communications, I am a 2018 law graduate seeking a trainee solicitor position to equip me with the skills to become a confident, well-rounded solicitor. SPB’s six-seat training programme, and diverse client-base, offers the ideal opportunity to gain wide-ranging experience, building confidence and adaptability from the outset.

[Feedback: Squire Patton Boggs (‘SPB’) has quite a unique application structure. Its question section is comprised of only one 300-word personal statement. Given the small word count and the breadth of the available topics you could cover, you will find that each candidate’s answer will vary. Nevertheless, the firm does give you some guidance on what to include. To craft an excellent response, you will need to cover some if not all of these topics in a structured and concise manner.

The candidate begins by giving a one-sentence introduction about who they are and what they want. They mention that they graduated in 2018, studied law, and currently work in legal communications whilst seeking a training contract. They also briefly touch on what they believe to be the unique aspects of training and working at SPB.

Overall, for a 50-word introduction, this is a good paragraph. The candidate’s answer succinctly introduces the candidate whilst giving a sense of their overall motivations. Whilst this is not necessarily a point of improvement, we would then be looking for the candidate to expand upon their reasons for working at SPB with specific reference to their seat structure and client base.

If the candidate does not develop upon these points, we would instead want to see a little more detail in this section. For example, the candidate could have then included why they thought they would benefit from more seats or what specific clients interest them and why.]

My commitment to volunteering has had a huge impact on my personal and professional growth and my consistent dedication to benefiting my community is my biggest achievement. SPB’s dedication to CSR and promoting inclusion would provide an opportunity for me to continue with this.

[Feedback: This section shifts focus to the candidate’s interest in charity and SPB’s CSR policy. The candidate is trying to align their interests and values with the firm’s. You should note that this is a solid strategy to employ in your answers. Clearly, if the firm’s focus is on, say, working with lenders, and you have a provable interest in working with lenders, then this evidently makes you a good fit for the firm.

Nevertheless, there are a few points of improvement for this paragraph. This paragraph is too short. Whilst we are sympathetic to the problems that overly small word limits cause, we would always advise breadth over depth. Here, the candidate spends only two sentences making their point concerning volunteering and CSR. This leads to the issue that the candidate’s answer lacks sufficient detail and explanation. The candidate mentions a few claims that are unsupported by evidence. Here is a list of the claims made:

1.     The candidate commits to volunteering.

2.     The candidate’s volunteering has had a significant impact on their personal and professional growth.

3.     The candidate has a consistent dedication to benefiting their community (their biggest achievement).

4.     SPB has a dedication to CSR and promoting inclusion.

5.     The firm’s dedication to CSR and promoting inclusion would allow the candidate to continue volunteering.

Each of these claims requires evidence to back it up. We realise that the answer only allows for 300 words; however, the candidate should have made at least a cursory mention of some substantiating examples or evidence. If the word count does not even allow for this, we would suggest cutting this paragraph entirely and using the extra words to bolster another section. You must remember to pick your battles when writing an application such as this one. You cannot include everything, so prioritise depth of breadth and stick to a ‘point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link’ (PEEL) structure concerning your paragraphs.]

Having worked with a diverse clientele, I am confident in my ability to build rapport and establish valuable working-relationships and together with my desire to understand business drivers for success, this enables me to appreciate client requirements to provide tailored legal solutions.

[Feedback: The same comments and suggestions for improvement detailed above apply to this paragraph too. This entire section is one sentence and is 42 words. The candidate makes the broad claim that they can understand form relationships with clients and understand their objectives to produce bespoke results. Whilst this is something that law firms desire, the candidate provides no evidence to substantiate their claims – the candidate is halfway to a strong answer but needs to provide specific evidence to ensure success.

This paragraph and the previous one are a combined total of 86 words. We would recommend either cutting one of them (and using the saved word count to bolster the uncut section with evidence) or cutting both and using the saved word count to bolster the rest of the answer.]

Although I am based in [Silver Circle firm’s] Newcastle office, my team is in London meaning face-to-face contact is limited and communicating effectively is imperative. This can be challenging when working on complex matters and often requires me to work autonomously, using my initiative. This experience would position me well to work collaboratively with teams across the SPB network. Further, SPB’s collegiate working approach would empower me to set my own challenges knowing that I have ample support and supervision.

[Feedback: This paragraph is much stronger than the previous two. Here, the candidate uses their current work experience to demonstrate their communication skills. They use their experience to show that they have ample experience with resolving communication challenges and that they will be able to transfer their communication abilities and self-motivation to SPB.

The candidate touches on several competencies in their answer: communication, initiative, and teamwork. You should remember to touch on at least some of the major competencies in your answer. Although the format of this application is a little different, SPB still wants to see answers to some of the typical motivation and competency questions (even though they do not ask you about them directly!).

To improve this answer, the candidate could have added some substantiating examples. For example, the candidate could have detailed a specific instance where ‘communicating effectively [was] imperative’ or detailed a time when they had to ‘[use their own] initiative’. Furthermore, the candidate could have given some evidence that proves the claim that SPB has a ‘collegiate working approach’. When you claim that a firm has a trait, you must do your best to demonstrate how you know that. The firm might claim they have it, but what does it look like in practice? These pieces of evidence are what makes an answer come alive and turn a good response into a great response.]

My experience has enabled me to apply my skillset in a legal environment. My ability to think analytically and creatively has been tested daily, and I am certain I can approach a problem, analyse it and reach an innovative solution  skills that are directly transferable to life as a trainee and will ensure I succeed in this role and would position me as a valuable member of the firm with the ability to lead a project or supervise a team in the years following qualification.

[Feedback: Finally, the candidate ends by describing their skills and how they would contribute to the firm. The candidate does well to mention some of the key skills a trainee solicitor needs. Analytic and creative problem-solving skills are musts for any budding solicitor. You should also note that the candidate looks ahead, beyond qualification, to how their skills will be useful as an associate or even a partner. This is great and shows that the candidate has really thought about why law firms want their trainee solicitors to have these skills and how these skills are employed in practice.

Like the previous sections, this answer could be improved by incorporating specific details. For example, instead of writing ‘my experience’, the candidate could have detailed a specific experience. You should always try to show the recruiter your skills rather than telling the recruiter you have them. Therefore, the candidate, instead of writing that they have an ‘ability to think analytically and creatively’, could instead have given an example which would demonstrate that they had such skills. By doing this, the candidate would not only have demonstrated they had analytic and creative problem-solving skills but would also have evidenced them.

Finally, the candidate should have been wary of typographical errors. The candidate accidentally misses a comma and puts a double space when writing ‘reach an innovative solution  skills’. Make sure to proofread your work before you submit it. These errors are occasionally forgivable; however, in an increasingly competitive process, recruiters are looking for any chance to reject your application. Use Microsoft Word or Grammarly to check your work for errors. You can also give your application to a trusted friend or family member to read over and check for errors. You should remember that recruiters make no allowances for international students – any spelling, grammatical or typographical error risks unnecessary penalisation!]

Personal statement (300 words). Guidance from the firm on what to include:

• A personal introduction – Think about what you think we ought to know about you as a person. At our firm, we love hearing about individuals and their journeys. Is there anything that makes you stand out or anything from your background you feel we would want to know?
• Relevant skills, interests and experiences – These do not have to be entirely related to the legal industry; however, naturally, the legal side should take priority, if possible. Think about your legal and non-legal work experience, as well as your studies. What is it that you are passionate about?
• Achievements – Think about what you are most proud of, this could be a work - or non-work-related achievement, or perhaps an achievement from your education. Again, think about relevance and how this links to the role of a trainee solicitor.
• What you would bring to the organisation? - We look at the whole picture when it comes to our trainees, so we want to know how you would work with our teams and the type of personality you would bring to us. Try to incorporate any legal knowledge that you have, as well as how this would benefit our firm.
• Your professional or academic goals – The age-old question, “where do you see yourself in five years?” A cliché, I know; however, it rings true with us that this is something we would love to know about you. What are your goals? Where can you see your career heading? Think big, we love that!

As a result of living in Birmingham, I am excited by the prospects of providing legal services that underpin the city’s dramatic transformation in its landscape. I was particularly drawn to Squire Patton Boggs’ offices because of their operation from the city centre for more than a 100 years and focus on the construction and real estate sector. Having completed a 3-week legal internship at [redacted firm in Middle East’s] construction department, I have fostered an interest in the area and have chosen to complete an advanced commercial property elective to further support my understanding of this area. As a trainee, my genuine interest in Birmingham and the firm’s focus in the office, will fuel my desire to stay with the firm in the long run and build my career.

[Feedback:  Whilst some candidates take the time to introduce themselves and give some background information, this candidate jumps straight into their answer. Both approaches are valid; however, this approach saves some words, which you may need given the restrictive word count.

This paragraph, broadly speaking, is excellent. The central reason behind this paragraph’s strength is its personalisation. The candidate demonstrates their interest in and commitment to Birmingham and links it to SPB. By doing so, the candidate not only evidences why they want to work for SPB but also why they have specifically applied to the Birmingham office.

You should also observe how the candidate evidences their interest in Birmingham and the real estate and construction practice areas. The candidate discusses their personal experience of living in Birmingham and their knowledge of SPB’s presence and work in the city. Furthermore, the candidate proves their interest in the mentioned practice areas by citing their previous work experience and then explaining how that gave them the impetus to take a specialist elective module in commercial property. This is an excellent formula for you to use in your applications: mention an experience that piqued your interest in a particular topic, and then mention what you went on to do after that experience to further foster such interest. This not only evidences your genuine interest in the topic but also highlights to the recruiter that you are committed to your own self-development.

Finally, the candidate does well in linking their paragraph back to the overall thrust of the application. Their final sentence explains that their experiences and interests mean that they are committed to staying at the firm (which also implies their suitability for the firm).

The only point of improvement is concerning spelling and grammar. The candidate writes ’a 100 years’ where the proper phraseology is simply ‘100 years’. In this case, this error is not egregious. However, as mentioned, you must be careful of making typographical errors, as any such error risks your answer being downgraded or outright rejected.]

In addition, I believe my international background and language skills set me apart considering Squire Patton Bogg’s activity in the Middle East. Being a native Arabic speaker and having lived most of my life in Dubai, I had the opportunity to complete legal internships in Dubai. My experiences thus have helped me foster a dual-jurisdictional understanding of the law, that I plan to apply and develop as a Squire’s trainee where the prospects of working on cross-border transactions in the Middle East are high.

[Feedback:  In this section, the candidate discusses how they would contribute to the firm and why the firm is best suited for them. The candidate does well to highlight their unique background. Although the number of international students applying to law firms in the UK is increasing, international students can still employ their linguistic and cultural backgrounds to their advantage. If you can speak multiple languages or have lived in another country, or both, you are a valuable asset to a law firm. The candidate’s answer highlights this and also adds that they want to further their connection to the Middle East, and SPB offers the best chance of that opportunity arising.

To further improve this answer, the candidate could have added in the occasional detail to substantiate their claims further. For example, instead of writing ‘having lived most of my life in Dubai’, the candidate could have specified the exact number of years. This would give the recruiter a better picture of the candidate’s background (as it is unlikely they know how old the candidate is). Additionally, the candidate could have explained how they ‘plan to apply and develop’ their ‘dual-jurisdictional understanding of the law’ at SPB. This could involve a simple rephrasing of their existing statement. For example:

‘My experiences thus have helped me foster a dual-jurisdictional understanding of the law. I plan to apply and develop this understanding as a Squire’s trainee by contributing to such matters as [insert a deal concerning Dubai here]. In such transactions, my fluency in Arabic and my understanding of the UAE’s legal system will allow me to add more value to the firm’s work than an average trainee.’.

You should note how this version includes some extra research and links the candidate’s skills back to an argument concerning why the firm should prefer them over another applicant.]

The firm’s small trainee intake and 6-seat rotation would provide me with an opportunity to take initiative and take responsibility early on in my career. My efforts to run and found our university legal newsletter demonstrate my ability to handle an array of responsibilities. I used my presentation skills to persuade students to join, managed all the columns and their content as well as interviewed lawyers to feature and was the Chief Editor of the publication. My entrepreneurial spirit thus I believe makes me a good fit.

[Feedback: This paragraph mentions what the candidate deems to be some unique aspects of SPB. The candidate mostly focuses on evidencing and explaining why they are a good fit for the firm and are best placed to take advantage of its unique facets. You should note how the candidate is trying to structure their answer using a PEEL approach, which is commendable. As mentioned in other comments, the recruiter is looking for evidence and explanations concerning your claims. Anyone can make a statement about themselves or the firm; however, the mark of an exceptional application is where the candidate has included specific examples to prove the truth of such claims. 

Generally, this answer is good. The candidate employs a proper structure and has tried to explain their experience of founding and running their university’s legal newsletter, which they use to substantiate their overall claim.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise when discussing their experience. For example, the candidate provides a list of activities and skills and then tags on their position concerning the publication. This is a little cumbersome and does not read particularly nicely. When you write your answers, consider using short sentences to aid your concision and precision. The objective of application writing is for you to communicate specific ideas compactly and clearly, not to write flowing prose. For instance, the candidate could have rephrased their answer as follows:

‘My experience of founding and running my university’s legal newsletter evidences my ability to take advantage of such opportunities. As Chief Editor, I persuaded students to join via a series of presentations. I also managed the newsletter’s content and columns whilst also conducting interviews with practising lawyers.’

This response is not only easier to read and more precise, but it is also four words shorter than what the candidate originally wrote.

Finally, the candidate could have provided a stronger link at the end of their answer. The final sentence of the section is a little unclear. The candidate should have explained how their entrepreneurship makes them a good fit for SPB. You should always end your paragraphs with a strong link back to the overall thrust of the answer. Failure to do so is not necessarily fatal; however, it will certainly make your answers less persuasive. This can be especially disappointing if the rest of your answer is strong. Your last sentence is what you leave the recruiter with, so make sure that you use it to spell out, explicitly, why what you have written is important to answer the question or for your overall argument.]

Personal statement (300 words). Guidance from the firm on what to include:

• A personal introduction – Think about what you think we ought to know about you as a person. At our firm, we love hearing about individuals and their journeys. Is there anything that makes you stand out or anything from your background you feel we would want to know?
• Relevant skills, interests and experiences – These do not have to be entirely related to the legal industry; however, naturally, the legal side should take priority, if possible. Think about your legal and non-legal work experience, as well as your studies. What is it that you are passionate about?
• Achievements – Think about what you are most proud of, this could be a work - or non-work-related achievement, or perhaps an achievement from your education. Again, think about relevance and how this links to the role of a trainee solicitor.
• What you would bring to the organisation? - We look at the whole picture when it comes to our trainees, so we want to know how you would work with our teams and the type of personality you would bring to us. Try to incorporate any legal knowledge that you have, as well as how this would benefit our firm.
• Your professional or academic goals – The age-old question, “where do you see yourself in five years?” A cliché, I know; however, it rings true with us that this is something we would love to know about you. What are your goals? Where can you see your career heading? Think big, we love that!

As a challenge-driven individual, I am consumed by the opportunities to flourish in a multi-layered global law firm. My intuitive nature prospered during school, where I thoroughly researched areas of intrigue. This uncovered my attentiveness and diligence, which I utilise when analysing complex documents. I received the highest grade in my Psychology exam and as a trainee, I would strive to achieve my impressive potential in every endeavour.

[Feedback:  This candidate jumps straight into the personal statement without providing much of an introduction. Once again, this is a useful strategy if you need to employ the word count in a more productive fashion elsewhere in your answer. The candidate does well in discussing some of the key competencies desired by law firms. Importantly, the candidate discusses their desire for challenge and attentiveness and attention to detail.

The candidate’s answer could be improved by reducing the complexity of the language employed and by including some specific detail. The candidate has a good grasp of the English language. However, when you write your applications, you are not writing in flowing prose like you might an academic essay. You must write clearly and concisely. If you make broad claims or employ flowery language, you will waste your allotted number of words. You must remember to show the recruiter your skills and traits rather than telling the recruiter about them.

For instance, instead of writing ‘I thoroughly researched areas of intrigue’, the candidate should have described an example of what they researched, why they chose to research it, and how they went about the task. This would be more impressive than the candidate’s original indeterminate statement.]

My experience as a Legal Assistant and Legal Advisor allowed for the recognition of employed mannerisms and the importance of collaborative work that is adopted by professionals. I am well-equipped for the client exposure and pro-bono participation that working as a trainee would involve and I admire the 17,500 hours of pro-bono work per annum that the firm commits to.

[Feedback:  The candidate does well to cite some of their previous work experience and some specific information about the firm. Whilst the application form might include a work experience section where you can give details about previous internships, you should not assume that the recruiter has read this section. Therefore, you should bring up work experience examples in your answer. However, you should be prepared to explain them or give necessary context as if the recruiter is reading about them for the first time.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have made their argumentation clearer. First, it is not entirely clear what ‘the recognition of employed mannerisms’. You should keep your writing clear and straightforward. Your objective should not be to sound impressive but instead to communicate your impressiveness through well-evidenced and explained arguments.

Second, the candidate does not make a clear claim or point at the start of their paragraph. Hence, when the candidate discusses pro bono work, it is not clear what argument the sentence is supporting. Overall, whilst the candidate makes some valid points in this section, it is difficult to see how those points contribute to an overarching argument or point. You should stick to a PEEL structured answer to avoid this happening in your applications.]

Working at [redacted large supermarket chain] has unveiled my ability to understand the implications of current events on businesses. Regarding Black History Month, I instigated the hanging of banners. Consequently, feedback relating to inclusiveness has increased. I have acknowledged the importance of commercial consciousness and the positive relation it has with customers and employees. Squire Patton Boggs has employed a policy of accentuating diversity, resulting in a Lex 100 award for inclusiveness. I have been following the firm’s perspective on the pandemic’s effects on the retail industry, where the sector-focussed Birmingham office is strong, and how businesses can reset to avoid future loss.

[Feedback:  You should note that this paragraph’s strength lies in the examples dotted throughout. The candidate does well to cite a previous experience. They include some specific detail, including the supermarket's name and specifically what they did. They also give some sense of the result of their actions. Furthermore, the candidate employs specific details to back up some claims about SPB, notably, a Lex 100 award and the firm’s Birmingham office.

To improve this answer, once again, the candidate’s argumentation could be clearer. The candidate veers from discussing inclusiveness to the pandemic’s effect on the retail industry. Although the candidate is attempting to show off their knowledge about the firm, the discussion is superficial, and it is difficult to see what it is in aid of.

When you write your answers, stick to a clear theme and argument. You should remember that this is a personal statement. Therefore, you should be discussing your experiences and why you are a good fit for the firm. Use the PEEL structure to your advantage: select a specific point and ensure that your examples and explanations centre around it.

Furthermore, do not forget to link your answer back to the overall point you are making. If you read the candidate’s paragraph from start to finish, it certainly has some valid points. However, the recruiter may be wondering ‘…so what?’. At the end of your paragraph, you must explicitly mention why all of this is important or relevant, even if you have provided an explicit point or topic sentence at the start of your section.]

Squire Patton Boggs distinct culture comprises of their Initial Buddy Program. As a peer mentor, I appreciate an initiative that encourages others to drive their development. I respect the firm’s stance on upholding approachability, which has resulted in the acquirement of the Best Company Culture Award in 2018 from AllAboutLaw.

I see myself receiving a first-class degree which I would exploit to progress at a demanding firm like Squire Patton Boggs.

[Feedback: These two paragraphs conclude the candidate’s personal statement. The first paragraph discusses the firm’s culture. The answer is good for including specific details: SPB’s ‘Initial Buddy Program’ and the AllAboutLaw Best Company Culture Award 2018.

Whilst these details are good, the candidate should have included a clearer argument and linked it back to themselves. Most law firms will have a support system to help their trainees. Hence, you must go beyond merely discussing the support networks that a firm offers. You must either discuss how you would take advantage of these systems or benefit from them, or explain how such systems are unique to the firm. Naturally, the best answers will include a discussion of both points!

The candidate does attempt to link their discussion back to themselves by mentioning that they are a ‘peer mentor’; however, the candidate needed to have discussed what that means and given some substantiating evidence. Furthermore, instead of saying that they appreciated SPB’s initiative, they could have discussed how they would contribute to the initiative as a trainee. This is a stronger topic for discussion as it better demonstrates how the candidate would add value to the firm.

The very last paragraph acts as a final concluding sentence. We recommend avoiding such sentences in short 300-word answers as they often eat into the word count without contributing much to the overall answer. If the candidate wanted to keep the sentence in, we would have recommended being more specific, as it is unclear how one can ‘exploit’ a first-class degree at a law firm. If the candidate wished to use their degree at SPB, this is a valid point, but such a point requires a clearer explanation and some supplementary evidence.

Finally, be aware of typographical errors. The candidate has missed an apostrophe when writing the firm’s name in the first sentence of this section (as it should be possessive). The recruiter could forgive candidates for making an error in a long application process; however, when the answer is only 300 words long, there is no excuse for not proofreading your work or using a spellchecker.]

Please address your cover letter to Nick Wong, Graduate Recruitment Partner. This is an opportunity to tell us about yourself, your skills, achievements and why you want to train as a solicitor.

[Feedback: It is vital that you adopt an effective structure in your cover letter.  You should split the cover letter into distinct sections and write 2 - 3 compelling points for each section.  We recommend the following approach: (1) why commercial law, (2) why this particular firm and (3) why you.  The idea is that you start broad and gradually focus in on why you are worth interviewing.] 

14th September 2020

Ashurst

1 Duval Square

London

E1 6PW

RE: Winter Vacation Scheme at Ashurst

Dear Mr Wong,

I am writing to apply for the 2020 winter vacation scheme at Ashurst.

Having carried out a variety of open days at city law firms and work experience at a commercial law firm in London, I am certain that I want to train as a commercial lawyer.  My primary reason is that I want to work in a dynamic, challenging environment where the legal advice that I provide is tailored to the individual commercial circumstances of my clients.  I am fascinated by the impact of economic and political changes on the advice given by commercial law firms.  For example, during an insight day at TLT, I learnt how the shock interest rate rise on cheap Treasury loans at the beginning of October 2019 caused a significant delay to real estate regeneration schemes.

[Feedback;  The aim of this first paragraph is good as it looks to address immediately the first key point of a commercial law firm cover letter: why commercial law. We would recommend, as this candidate has done, to include at least two reasons why you want to become a commercial solicitor to demonstrate you understand what the profession involves.

Whilst this candidate has included some specific detail, we would recommend establishing points and positing evidence that is specific, detailed and, as far as possible, not clichéd. As a rule of thumb, it can be beneficial for your answers to follow the PEEL/PEAL structure: point, evidence, explain/analysis (of the evidence), link (to point and overall thrust of argument). This ensures that all your points are well substantiated, and the reader can clearly follow, and be persuaded by, your argument.]

Part of my motivation for applying to Ashurst is the firm’s reputation as market leaders for its Projects work.  I am attracted to this practice area because I am interested in how infrastructure projects can spur the growth of economies.  This interest is a consequence of my passion for global environmental sustainability, having been an active member of Climate Reality Project at university and spending a month in Sri-Lanka planting trees as part of a GreenWave campaign for developing countries. I am fascinated in Ashurst’s involvement in the financial close of the Newhurst Resource Recovery Facility project and how Ashurst’s waste team has closed 56 projects since 2002.

[Feedback: This paragraph shifts focus onto the second key topic of a commercial law cover letter: why this particular firm. The former half of the paragraph follows the PEEL/PEAL structure: the point of attraction to the firm is clearly stated, whilst the succeeding evidence is grounded in the candidate’s personal experiences, which is excellent.

The reason for the candidate’s motivation towards the firm is also well-chosen: it links to the most core aspect of a law firm, namely, the firm’s work, and intersects naturally with the topics of ESG and global sustainable development. As aforementioned, what is particularly impressive is that the answer also links to the candidate and their experiences, presenting the candidate as someone who is well-justified in their motivations. This is better than citing external or objective reasons, which any candidate could feasibly posit.

The candidate does well to provide some evidence to substantiate her claims, however, the candidate may have benefited from giving a greater explanation of the stated evidence, and explicitly linking it back to their firm motivation. Make sure that, when you write your answer regarding firm motivation, you present a logical, detailed analysis of your personalized evidence, in addition to explicitly linking such analysis back to your original point.]

I am also attracted to the firm’s dynamic and entrepreneurial nature, which is demonstrated by its creation of Ashurst Advance Delivery and FinTech Legal Labs.  This is important to me because I believe that the future of law will require innovative legal solutions and the use of AI to deliver value for clients. More broadly, I identify with Ashurst’s culture The firm’s commitment to inclusivity is evident from awards such as its commendation for Diversity and Inclusivity at the FT Innovative Lawyers Awards in 2019. As a female from an ethnic minority background, I believe the multitude of diversity initiatives such as “All at Ashurst” and “Committed to Change” will assist my personal development. After speaking to Trainee Lucas Chong at the Legal Cheek Virtual Law Fair, I believe that the firm’s core values align with mine.

[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate continues to elaborate on their motivations towards the firm. Here, specific evidence is included which demonstrates the level of the candidate’s research of, and commitment to, the firm. Furthermore, the candidate provides evidence of past interaction with the firm/its representatives, which can act not only as a good source of factual evidence but also as evidence for the candidate’s genuine interest in the firm. Referencing individuals who you have spoken to at the firm is always a good idea, and if you can remember something they said, that can go even further to evidence your motivation.

We recommend that candidates lead with their paragraphs with their full answer. For example, the candidate could start with ‘I am attracted to Ashurst for its entrepreneurial and inclusive culture’. However, when many points, or points of evidence, are included in one paragraph, its overall message may become unclear. The candidate is clearly demonstrating their motivation towards the firm in virtue of its culture but may perhaps benefit from focusing on one aspect of the firm’s culture, rather than splitting the answer in two.

Finally, we would recommend that, as far as the constraints of the question permit, you flesh out as much detail as you can, as specificity is what lends credence to your opinions and answers. For example, the candidate mentions ‘that the firm’s core values align with [theirs]’. Although the candidate does allude to what the firm’s values might be, the candidate does not explicitly state what such values are, and how they align with hers. As this is at the end of the paragraph, the candidate would not have been able to continue explaining; however, you should look to ensure that your answers, as far as possible, do not assert points, but rather argue them from evidence that you have researched and provided.

As a final comment, be wary of grammatical errors, such as in the line ‘more broadly, I identify with Ashurst’s culture The firm’s commitment to inclusivity is evident from awards such as its commendation for Diversity and Inclusivity at the FT Innovative Lawyers Awards in 2019’ [emphasis added], where a full stop is missing. If you are an international student, you should ask a native English speaker to proofread your application. Law firms will be assessing your English proficiency throughout your application, and they make no exception for international students. Even if you are a native English speaker, make sure to proofread your work before submission as typographical errors can often go unnoticed when drafting.]

The extracurricular activities that I have successfully balanced with my degree demonstrate why I would succeed as a trainee at Ashurst.  I have built on the analytical skills that I have developed from studying law by acting as Head Research Analyst in Technology for Durham Think Tank.  This role requires me to research key technology policy issues and succinctly present my opinion in a published termly report. In addition, competing in the Ashurst First Year Mooting Competition, the Allen & Overy Commercial Negotiation Competition and winning the B G Reid Trophy for Public Speaking at the Northwood Festival, have improved my communication skills.  My experience volunteering for Support Through Court and involvement in the Death Penalty Project this year helped me to learn how to tailor my communication to a client-specific context.  I hope to continue to develop these skills this year by working on the Negotiations Committee for Durham Law Society and in my role as Brand Ambassador for Taylor Wessing. 

[Feedback: In the last paragraph, the candidate answers the final key topic in commercial law cover letters: why you.

Law firms appreciate the work that you do in societies, as it evidences your organizational/time-management skills, your ability to work well in teams, and your drive. Even if you are motivated by something non-law, law firms will appreciate such motivation as it demonstrates your ability to be passionate, driven, and committed. Hence, even ‘simple’ work, like being part of a society, can seem like an exceptional experience.

Competitions, even if not won, are excellent ways to evidence competencies. Not only does it demonstrate motivation, but it also elucidates one’s resilience and technical ability. An added bonus is that these competitions are sponsored by law firms (notably, the firm the candidate is applying to) and are closely related to law (mooting and negotiation). Nevertheless, the candidate also has a non-law competition as evidence for their prowess in public-speaking which serves as substantive evidence in its own right but also corroborates their previous statements/implied ability.

Volunteering examples are also great ways to show commitment, motivation, and organization. This paragraph is impressive in virtue of the sheer volume of competitions, awards, volunteering experience, and society experience the candidate has (on top of a law degree from a top university). Law firms recognize that these achievements and activities take substantial amounts of time and effort; therefore, just by presenting these experiences, the candidate is already part of the way to successfully convincing the firm of their competencies and suitability for the role.

Notwithstanding the vast quantity of evidence, we would recommend spending a little more of the word count unpacking some of the examples given and, perhaps, giving some indication of when each was undertaken/achieved. By giving, effectively, a chronology, you are able to show the reader how your interests and abilities have evolved, and what you plan to do to progress them further. This is what the candidate appears to do in the final sentence of the paragraph, however, it could have been accomplished throughout the answer itself, by stating the year of their achievements/events and by using language that links points together. Such language, for example, could look like, ‘this [/insert event] further developed my skills [/interests] in [x] which led me to do [y]’.]

Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Yours sincerely,

[Candidate]

[Feedback: This cover letter presents some strong elements and evidences a candidate who has in moderate effort to tailor their application to the firm. Something to note – the word limit for this is 1000 words, yet what is written is approximately 500-600 words. Although you do not need to use the whole space just because it is there, there are times where this candidate’s answers are too brief and could do with more exposition, evidence, and specificity. Concision is an important skill for a lawyer to have; however, so is one’s judgement when it comes to choosing what to write or omit.

Aside from some spelling and grammatical errors, the main point of improvement with this cover letter would be to increase the specificity of the answers. Whilst name-dropping events or people is useful to evidence some deeper commitment or motivation, it is vital that more explanation is given as to how this evidence substantiates your argument. Given that over a third of the word count remains unused, there should be no issue with achieving this.]

Please address your covering letter to Nick Wong, Recruitment Partner. You should use this space to tell us about yourself. You might want to cover in particular why you would like to train as a solicitor, your skills, achievements and activities, whether at university or otherwise. (1000 words max)*

[Feedback: It is vital that you adopt an effective structure in your cover letter.  You should split the cover letter into distinct sections and write 2 - 3 compelling points for each section.  We recommend the following approach: (1) why commercial law, (2) why this particular firm and (3) why you.  You start broad and gradually zoom in on why you are worth interviewing.] 

Dear Mr. Nick Wong,

I am writing to apply for a training contract at Ashurst as advertised on your graduate recruitment website. I am a final year PhD student in law at the University of Warwick.

What attracts me to train as a solicitor is the intellectual challenge of utilising the law to achieve commercial objectives. During my internship at Zhong Lun Law Firm’s London Office, I analysed whether a clause of a preliminary agreement was enforceable under Chinese law for a UK independent school. I explained the implications of this non-binding clause and advised on how the client could move forward with cooperation from its partner Chinese school. This made me realise how commercial solicitors must provide multiple solutions for client problems, whilst anticipating the legal effect of each option. It is this combination of the technical element of law with an up-to-date understanding of business that appeals to me.

[Feedback: This section is short relative to the rest of the letter.  While the candidate’s postgraduate background in law helps demonstrate that the candidate has a real interest in law from an academic standpoint, we recommend that you include at least two reasons why you want to become a commercial solicitor in order to demonstrate you understand what the profession involves.

Nonetheless, we like this reason because it links back to the candidate and is a clever way to showcase relevant work experience.  We would improve the sentence structure to increase readability, but this is a relatively minor point.]

I would like to train at Ashurst because of the firm’s expertise in finance and the guaranteed seat in this practice area. Having researched how banking regulators manage bank insolvency risk, I am passionate about discovering how banks cope with risks from their day-to-day lending activities. With Ashurst’s focus on the lender-side work for large banks, including HSBC, I would have access to high-quality cases that suit my interest whilst developing technical skills. Moreover, I believe that Ashurst’s focus on the Asia-Pacific region – as demonstrated by its project finance work for China Development Bank in relation to an Indonesian railway project – aligns with my ambition to contribute to the emerging Chinese market. I would have the opportunity to explore my interest in the financing aspect of large infrastructure projects in this region, including the Belt & Road Initiatives projects.

[Feedback:

●      This section is short, which makes sense because the question below provides an opportunity for the candidate to demonstrate their research on Ashurst as a firm

●      We recommend candidates lead with the answer first where possible.  In this case, the candidate could start with “I am applying to Ashurst because of the firm’s expertise in finance and focus on the Asia-Pacific region.  The strength of the firm’s Finance practice (as demonstrated by [provide details of a relevant award] is important to me because of X, Y and Z...I want to work at a firm focused on the Asia-Pacific region because X, Y and Z…]

●      Any example makes your answer more credible, but an example that is relevant to you is particularly impressive.  This candidate has chosen a notable deal and linked it back to his or her personal motivation.  This is better than simply noting that a particular transaction is impressive because of its size, novelty, etc.]

 I have developed many skills that make me well suited to a career at Ashurst. I enhanced my problem-solving skills through a [redacted] entrepreneurial competition in July 2019. Our team entered the competition with a tech-enabled website that helps English learners with fluency. When we were lacking in market insights before building a demo, I devised and tested several market research strategies to reach more potential customers. As a result, we gathered more data than expected and built a better demo which helped us gain eligibility for the final pitch stage. The ability to solve problems is key to success at Ashurst, as was explained by Ashurst trainee Phillip Yung at a November 2019 networking evening event. He shared his experience of liaising with German regulators to tackle the problem of a lack of passporting rights post-Brexit for financial services firms.

[Feedback: Problem-solving is usually not a core skill to demonstrate in TC / VS applications, but it is something that Ashurst draws attention to on their careers page (“...You’ll work alongside industry experts from leading international clients, solving problems, using your creativity and diligence”). 

In this case, it makes a lot of sense to include a pertinent example.  In general, though, focus your application on demonstrating: (1) time management / organisation; (2) communication skills; (3) analytical skills; (4) commercial outlook; (5) teamwork / collaboration; (6) high-achiever / dedication; (7) adaptability / ability to thrive outside your comfort zone.  We recommend emphasising points 1 - 3 in particular.  

Separately, it’s always a good idea to mention people you have met at the firm - especially if they will remember you.  There’s an obvious hierarchy: partners > senior associates > junior associates > trainees.]

As a global law firm, Ashurst trainees must collaborate with multiple lawyers across different jurisdictions on international matters. My range of experiences has left me with excellent interpersonal skills.  For example, working with different team members during my shifts at a takeaway restaurant has built upon my adaptability in collaborating with people from diverse backgrounds. Whilst working in a high pressured environment, I demonstrate my ability to accurately identify each teammate's personality and working style and adjust mine accordingly to ensure effective teamwork. I am able to work well with colleagues and clients to achieve business objectives under time pressure.

[Feedback : Law firms value paid part-time work because it demonstrates time-management and drive.  You can make ordinary experiences like working in a customer-facing role at Tesco seem extraordinary with the right point and structure. 

Where you are trying to evidence a desired attribute, we recommend the PEE structure (Point, Evidence, Explanation).  The “Explanation” part is your chance to truly stand out.  The best candidates will link the attribute back to the law firm to explain why it is an important skill for lawyers at that particular law firm.  This is included in this paragraph, but it’s the first sentence rather than the last, which makes it harder to follow)]

I have taken the initiative to develop my communication and public speaking skills by delivering academic presentations at conferences and joining a Toastmasters club. At the club, I give either one-minute “on the spot” talks or five-minute prepared speeches, and seek weekly feedback from experienced members. Through trial and error, I have enhanced my public speaking skills. I am confident in my ability to tailor my communication to my audience whether I am explaining complex academic findings or giving creative talks.

[Feedback : Building on the point above, the way to take this answer to the next level is to explain why communication is so important to succeed in your career as a commercial lawyer.  You should emphasise communication in general rather than public speaking in particular (which is a subset of communication) because solicitors speak publicly relatively rarely and spend much more time 1-1 with clients, colleagues and the other side where they must cogently explain complex topics.]

I embrace responsibility and use it as a chance to grow. Whilst interning at [redacted law firm]’s [redacted location] office, I was able to meet and communicate with clients on my own and work independently to produce due diligence reports for clients. I learnt how trainees are given a high level of responsibility from Ashurst trainee Ankita Sahadev at the Warwick law fair. I would enjoy the exposure and responsibility of working on complex matters to expand my comfort zone.

[Feedback - If you obtained your work experience on merit rather than via connections then it’s helpful to make this clear, either by describing it as a vacation scheme or adding the verb “selected”.  Given this candidate has work experience from the same firm in two separate locations, we suspect that both were obtained via connections, which law firms rightly place less weight on.]

I have built my resilience during my PhD studies. After two and half years of work, when I had finished over half of my thesis, I received constructive feedback from my supervisor, including a recommendation to change the entire structure of the thesis. This would involve rewriting the whole thesis. Having analysed the feedback, despite the magnitude of the task, I decided to follow his advice. I did not allow this rewriting to affect my motivation, rather I used this experience to develop a more in-depth understanding of my topic. When I defended my thesis, my examiners were impressed and convinced by my original and comprehensive analysis and thus awarded me the degree.

I am keen to use technology to improve performance. I entered another Warwick entrepreneurial competition with the tech-enabled website in October 2019. In a mock marketplace event, I convinced people to try our website and change their traditional learning methods by explaining how this tech-based website could help them. Our product ranked in the top three for popularity and innovation. My interest in technology aligns with Ashurst’s vision and efforts to provide technology-led solutions to help clients respond to changing business environments. I am able to quickly adapt to and utilise the latest technologies in my work and would thus be able to deliver innovative services to meet the business needs of Ashurst clients.

[Feedback  - Technology and innovation get a lot of press by law firms, but it’s mostly noise.  It’s not a key skill for lawyers at this time.  This example is impressive.  It would be better used to showcase the candidate’s adaptability, curiosity and commercial outlook.  The English error “(I entered another [redacted] entrepreneurial competition with the tech-enabled website…”) is problematic.  If you are an international student, you should ask a native English speaker to review your application.  In addition to the usual skills, law firms will also assess the English proficiency of international students, expecting to see native levels of fluency.

As an Asian woman, studying in the UK and volunteering to help a dementia sufferer, I have been able to meet people with diverse backgrounds and deepened my understanding of diversity and inclusion. My belief in the importance of diversity and inclusion would fit Ashurst’s collegiate culture to support colleagues and clients with international backgrounds.

[Feedback  - It’s good to include a final paragraph summarising your strengths in general to reiterate why you are an excellent candidate for the firm.  This paragraph should be made more general to capture the candidate’s key attributes.] 

Thank you for taking the time to review my application.

Yours sincerely

[redacted]

[Feedback: It’s no surprise that this application was successful.  It is a strong application which presents an intelligent and hard-working candidate who has thought carefully about which elements of commercial law hold the most appeal.

Although the word limit is 1,000 words, you do not need to use the whole space just because it is there.  Your challenge is to pack as much quality into as few words as possible.  Brevity is an important legal skill. 

We think that the final section of this letter could be more succinct.  It’s a bit of a chore to work through the “why me” part of the letter, which we would reduce down to 3 - 4 paragraphs.  Rather than running through six separate attributes, we would choose three and flesh out the answer with one or (preferably) two examples that demonstrate each characteristic.]

Please address your cover letter to Ms Nicola Stanley, Graduate Recruitment & Development Manager.

 Dear Ms. Stanley,

I am a second-year Philosophy student at the University of Durham and would like to apply for a vacation scheme at Baker McKenzie.

[Feedback: Good start to the letter.  While it is clear from the question which salutation you should use, if you know that the reviewer is female then your default should be “Ms.”.  You should always find out who the hiring manager is from LinkedIn or the firm website.]

Why Baker McKenzie?

[Feedback: The candidate has a clear structure to his letter: (1) why firm, (2) why a vacation scheme and (3) why me). Headers are not always necessary, but they make this structure explicit and the letter easy to follow.]

The firm has a unique range of traits that are very attractive and well suited to me. These individualities include:

Making a tangible difference to commerce and the world.

- Baker McKenzie carries out large volumes of CSR via pro bono work which reaffirms its commitment to changing and advising actors for the better. I am especially impressed with the firm’s recent work on ‘Legal Atlas for Street Youth’. Having done some pro bono work at my time at Allen & Overy, I know the real impact it can have, and Baker McKenzie seems to feel this too.

Training in Contentious Law

- I note that the firm insists on trainees taking up a seat in contentious law. I love this system, as I am committed to gaining a holistic knowledge of all aspects of commercial law.

- Furthermore, I have a special interest in dispute resolution, and so a seat in contentious law, such as litigation, or international arbitration, would deeply engage me, and allow me to see if my interest is well placed.

The Attraction of Commercial Law in an International Environment

- I am fascinated with commercial law, as it epitomises what people are all about. In the business of commercial law, politics, finance, law, and economics all merge together. This complex cocktail of theory and practice excites me: I adore working on complex real-world problems, and facilitating the wants and needs of clients.

- Furthermore, Baker McKenzie is a global firm, meaning that its business transcends jurisdictions and clients. Once again, this is very attractive, as I flourish in a high-stakes and pressurised environment. Problem solving, and analytical thinking under pressure is a true love of mine.

- Being an international commercial solicitor would provide me with the hard work I can master, spark my interest in the global business market, and surround me with a diverse group of people who I can collaborate with.

[Feedback:  It’s unusual to use bullet points in law firm applications, but the format works well here. 

The candidate has explained three key reasons about why he is applying to Baker McKenzie.  This is about the right amount - go for depth over breadth.  Crucially, the candidate first notes a characteristic of the firm and then explains why it’s important to him.  You should replicate the same approach in your applications.

In some places, the candidate comes across as a little pompous.  Phrases like “I flourish in a high-stakes and pressured environment” and “I adore working on complex real-world problems” are hyperbolic.  It would be better if the candidate tempered his language (e.g. “I want to work in a fast-paced environment where I can learn from leading practitioners of…”).]

Why a Vacation scheme?

The most important reasons for my interest in the role, as well as the importance of such a role, are:

- Get a true taste of what it is like to work at Baker McKenzie.

- No matter how many insight days I have been on, or how much research I have conducted I will never know what it is truly like to get stuck in at the firm.

- As such, because Baker McKenzie’s work is very team orientated, an vacation scheme would allow me to get that experience in the firm, understand more about how it works, and get a sense of how I fit into Baker McKenzie’s teams and how I might contribute the most to its functioning.

- Looking ahead to a career in law.

- It is no secret that having vacation schemes under one’s belt aids one in garnering a career at a firm like Baker McKenzie in the future.

- However, it is not a simple pass to get a free career – rather, I see this vacation scheme as an interview process.

- As such, I would want this vacation scheme to prove my skills, talents, and aptitude to not only myself, but also to Baker McKenzie. This is not just a matter of impressing the firm, but also demonstrating my potential and what I could bring to the firm in the future.

This brief, but vital, list of reasons impresses upon me the importance of a vacation scheme at Baker McKenzie. I do not take such responsibility lightly and would respect the role and duties with the utmost assiduousness.

[Feedback: It’s pretty obvious why you would want to do a VS.  You want to get a training contract.  Rather than combine why law and why Baker McKenzie in the section above, the candidate should have broken them out separately.  It would be a better use of word count to use this section to talk about the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in law.  Generally, we recommend you start broad and go narrow: (1) why commercial law, (2) why firm and (3) why you.

There’s a typo here (“an vacation scheme”) which the candidate was lucky that graduate recruitment turned a blind eye to.  Needless to say, there’s very limited room for careless mistakes like this in applications because it demonstrate poor attention to detail.]

Why Me?

I believe that I am a perfect fit, not only for a vacation scheme, but specifically for such a role in Baker McKenzie. I have specific and distinctive character traits that would augment my performance and success in the role. These are the skills that I wish to maintain and further develop for a training contract at Baker McKenzie:

- Commitment to excellence.

- Desire and ability to collaborate with a diverse range of people.

- Thirst for knowledge.

I look forward to an opportunity to speak with you further about the ways in which I can make a positive contribution to Baker McKenzie.

[Feedback:  Saying that you are the “perfect fit” can come across as a bit arrogant.  We would avoid such language. 

The key issue with this section is that the candidate has not developed his points.  It’s not enough just to state your qualities, you need to provide an example as evidence or an explanation of how you have developed them.  We recommend the Point, Evidence and Example rubric for short in-text examples like cover letters and STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) for longer-form answers to application questions.]

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,

[Redacted name]

[Feedback: The sign-off is fine but there is no need to capitalise “sincerely”.]

[No question was provided in the application]

Dear Graduate Recruitment,

I am an LLB Law student at the University of [redacted], on track for a First, and applying for your Spring/Summer Vacation Scheme 2021.

Feedback: This line makes the profile of the candidate and the purpose of their cover letter immediately clear to the reader, which adds a personal touch to their answer right off the bat. Nonetheless, we would advise against using second-person pronouns in your answers because it tends to create awkward phrasing.

Initially considering Finance and Law as careers, I interned at a consultancy firm where I noticed the lack of collaboration compared to law firms. I want to be a lawyer because I enjoy working collaboratively. Reading Rebel Ideas by Matthew Syed, I appreciate that diverse teams produce innovative ideas. I am attracted to Cleary's international trainee intake. As an Indonesian, raised in the US and studying in England, international colleagues and global exposure is the working environment I want. I am trilingual and currently learning French to enhance my linguistic capabilities. Tihir Sarkar emphasised that Cleary lawyers are skilled at identifying the nuances of doing business across regions, jurisdictions and cultures. Having achieved work experience in London, Indonesia and Houston last summer, I appreciate corporate etiquette globally.

Feedback: The candidate does well to highlight their commitment to pursuing a career in law by contrasting it with a career in finance and explaining why the former appeals to them more than the latter by reference to their personal inclination towards teamwork. Such an approach can be particularly effective in convincing the reader of your motivation because the two career paths share plenty of similarities. If you wish to emulate the candidate’s approach, however, we would recommend that you contrast the two career paths in a charitable manner; in this case, the candidate is not particularly charitable in stating that there is a “lack of collaboration” between individuals who work at consultancy firms. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have elaborated on what it is about the law itself that interests them from a professional perspective. 

The candidate goes on to express their interest in Cleary Gottlieb’s global mobility offering in a persuasive manner, as they link it back to their own multicultural background and international work experience. They do well to cite their interaction with a firm representative in support of their claims about the firm, though it would have been helpful if they had mentioned said representative’s position within the firm and the context in which they interacted; doing so would have enhanced the credibility of their answer. It would have also made more sense for the candidate to structure the foregoing discussion as a self-standing paragraph because it introduces a new point, i.e., their motivation for applying to Cleary Gottlieb.

I want to work at Cleary because of its flexible and bespoke training. The ability to work with multiple lawyers across practice areas and jurisdictions, based on my interests, will give me broader experience. Completing the International Baccalaureate, a curriculum renowned for cultivating multidisciplinary perspectives, I want to gain knowledge from diverse practice areas.

Feedback: The candidate correctly identifies one of the perks of training at Cleary Gottlieb and explains their interest therein, though it would have been opportune for them to elaborate on that point and showcase more of their research into the firm. Nonetheless, they do well to link their interest in undertaking a broad range of matter throughout their training contract to their completion of the International Baccalaureate. In this regard, sharing personal insights related to your studies is completely fine, but it will not necessarily make your application stand out from the crowd; every other candidate will have an impressive curriculum under their belt. If you want your application to stand out from the crowd, we would recommend focusing on personal insights related to your extra-curricular activities, work experience, and achievements.

I want to be involved in international, market-related work. I follow business and geopolitics closely through Goldman Sachs Briefings and Bloomberg. By working in commercial law, I can appreciate macroeconomics to have a greater awareness of the world. I aim to gain enough sector knowledge to advise commercial legal strategy in advance of problems. I am particularly interested in Capital Markets work. While Interning at Freshfields, I was excited by the nature of the issuance of a USD 250 million Sukuk due to its complex structure. At Allen & Overy, I attended training on various types of derivative and structured products and this was interesting to me. My achievements reflect my intellectual mindset. I achieved an overall First in my second-year Law exams.

Feedback: This paragraph is effective because it outlines the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law in a clear manner; the candidate does well to explain their interest in the commercial world by reference to their habit of following various business news channels and to substantiate said interest by citing their previous work experience at two Magic Circle firms. The last two sentences reveal the candidate’s impressive academic record to the reader, but they do not quite fit the narrative of this paragraph. Perhaps, they would have read better as part of the following paragraph, given that it focuses on the candidate’s profile. We would have also altered some of the phrasing to improve readability, but this is a relatively minor point.

From a chronological point of view, it would have made more sense for the candidate to discuss their motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law before discussing their motivation for applying to Cleary Gottlieb. To ensure that your cover letter makes chronological sense, we would recommend that you structure your it by answering each of the following questions in turn:

1. Why law?

2. Why commercial law?

To maximise your use of the word count, you can combine these two questions can be combined in the same paragraph or focus on the second one.

3. Why this firm?

4. Why you?

Running two businesses, I find it exciting to discuss strategies allowing companies to gain and maintain competitive advantage. As a tutor and clothing website owner, I learned to be a multi-specialist by managing cash flow, logistics, customer satisfaction, inventory, social media, business development etc. Balancing this with First-class grades, General Secretary and Publicity Officer positions and Campus Ambassador role proves my time-management skills. I appreciate that Cleary lawyers have multiple specialities and consider issues from diverse perspectives.

Feedback: This paragraph depicts the candidate’s profile, including their achievements, extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility, and work experience. Not only does it paint a picture of the candidate as a hard-working, well-rounded individual, but it also expressly highlights the candidate’s suitability to the firm by mentioning Cleary Gottlieb’s focus on multispecialism. It is generally good practice to study the firm’s website and marketing materials so as to ascertain the qualities that they look for in their recruits/ employees and then explain how you possess those qualities in your application.

On a different note, we would avoid using abbreviations such as “etc” in your answers because they are informal.

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

Feedback: This is a fine conclusion to the cover letter, though “Thank you for your kind consideration” followed by the appropriate sign-off (“Yours faithfully” in this case) would have sufficed. 

[No question was provided in the application]

Dear Claire,

Feedback:  We would recommend addressing your cover letters to the graduate recruitment team as a whole rather than a given individual within the team because you can neither guarantee that said individual will be the one who will read your cover letter nor predict whether said individual will still be with the firm by the time your cover letter is read. Sticking to “Dear Graduate Recruitment”/ “Dear Graduate Recruitment Team” is your safest bet.

Feedback:  This line appears to be misplaced. We would recommend double-checking your cover letters before sending them through in order to ensure that they do not contain misplaced lines, unfinished sentences, spelling mistakes, typos, etc.

Understanding that Cleary Gottlieb recruits with a long-term goal, I make this application with the highest level of commitment to pursue a career in commercial law with Cleary Gottlieb.

Feedback:  Although this is an emphatic introduction from a stylistic point of view, it adds little to no value to the overall answer. It is not sufficiently tailored to the firm nor the candidate. We can replace “Cleary Gottlieb” with “White & Case” (or any other commercial law firm) without altering the meaning of the sentence at all. We can equally lift the sentence from this application and paste it into another without raising any eyebrows. Every commercial law firm recruits for the long-term and every candidate wants to convince the recruiter that they are wholeheartedly committed to pursuing a career in commercial law at the firm to which they are applying. We would recommend avoiding such introductions and focusing on the specifics of your motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law and applying to the firm.

Commercial lawyers are essentially business advisors, and are extremely engaged in the commercial world. Whilst studying A Level Business, I was engrossed with the business world, particularly I was fascinated at how market changes could drive businesses decisions. Moving forward, I trust that it is an exciting role to help businesses navigate through challenging conditions, such as disruptive technological developments and political turmoil caused by corruption. A unique feature of commercial law is that every transaction is different, and this continuous challenge is appealing to me. Instead of taking the Malaysian national exam like my peers, I joined an unconventional yet thrilling, independent-study IGCSE course, which I completed in 5 months, instead of the pre-set 2 years.

Feedback: This paragraph is effective because it outlines the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law. The candidate correctly points out that commercial solicitors fulfil a dual role, i.e., they act as legal advisers and as business advisers, and explains why the prospect of fulfilling such a role appeals to them by drawing on their business studies. They also correctly point out that commercial solicitors’ work is highly varied and challenging. Again, they do well to explain why such work appeals to them by reference to their completion of an independent-study course within an impressive timeframe. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have elaborated on what exactly made said course challenging and they could have also mentioned any transferable skills they derived from completing it.

I am determined to join Cleary Gottlieb for its bespoke training contract, organic growth strategy and non-departmental structure. The training contract offers unrivalled breadth and independence, where trainees are encouraged to get involved with work outside their allocated seats. I appreciate the opportunity to pursue work that interests me, and also embrace the proactivity required to succeed. I have enjoyed being an Executive in the Malaysian Law Student Union where I am awarded a great degree of freedom to plan and execute events, and also take the initiative to explore new ideas.

Feedback: This paragraph has an excellent topic sentence which makes the candidate’s reasons for applying to Cleary Gottlieb immediately clear to the reader. Not only does such a topic sentence allow the reader to follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease, but it also creates the impression of a confident, calculated writer. The candidate does well to discuss Cleary Gottlieb’s flexible approach to training because it is relatively rare for law firms to forego compulsory seats and/ or allow trainees to pursue matters outside their allocated seats. They explain why such an approach appeals to them and, crucially, share a relevant personal insight which links back to their point about the firm. To achieve a similar effect, we would recommend loosely following the “PEEL” structure (“point”, “explanation, “evidence”, “link”), as the candidate does throughout this cover letter.

With only 1 lateral hire in the Germany office this year, Clearly Gottlieb is a firm that grows organically. This translates into a real emphasis on the people and the training, as illustrated by in-house seminars for future trainees, which enhances both training and integration. Top quality training is something I look for in a firm as I believe it is the foundation of a successful lawyer. Further, organic growth can nurture a strong sense of team spirit. Having spent a month at a commercial law firm, I found comradeship to be essential whilst working long hours in a high-pressure environment.

Feedback: This paragraph showcases the candidate’s research into the firm, as well as their understanding of different hiring practices and business strategies within legal market. They correctly identify Cleary Gottlieb as a law firm that pursues organic growth and they do well to deduce that such a business strategy translates into a focus on improving existing employees’ performance and skill sets, as well as an emphasis on team spirit. They do well to explain why the firm’s business strategy appeals to them; their explanation is particularly effective because they link it back to personal insights, i.e., their preferences in terms of training and their work at another commercial law firm, because they lend credibility to the overall answer and make it appear genuine. For the sake of completeness, we would have mentioned the name of the commercial law firm at which the candidate worked, but this is a relatively minor point.

The firm's non-departmental structure encourages lawyers to develop expertise in multiple areas and prevents a pigeonhole vision. This in return shapes a well-rounded lawyer who is able to survive market volatility which is essential in light of global affairs, such as Brexit, which has dampened transactional work, but increased advisory work. Flexibility is key. To that end, as a mentor, I adapt my approach and session plans in response to my mentees' varying performance and behavior.

Feedback:  The candidate correctly identifies and explains the rationale behind one of Cleary Gottlieb’s unique selling points (USPs), i.e., its non-departmental structure. By discussing the impact of global affairs upon lawyers’ work relative to the firm’s non-departmental structure, the candidate showcases their commercial awareness, as well as their critical thinking skills. Again, they do well to link their point about the firm to their own experience as a mentor. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have mentioned the context in which they acted as a mentor or reminded the reader of said context if they had already mentioned it elsewhere in the application.

Speaking to one of your trainees (Lottie) at the law fair, I learnt about the firm's distinct geeky culture and mixed social circles. This, among other things, has further solidified my desire to join the firm.

Feedback:  Citing your interactions with firm representatives, as the candidate does in this case, is generally good practice because it tends to lend credibility to your claims about the firm and your interest therein. However, if you wish to do so, we would recommend mentioning their full names, as well as their positions within the firm.

Echoing the comments made in relation to the previous answer, we would advise against using second-person pronouns in your answers because it can generate awkward connotations, as it does in this case; Lottie is not Claire’s trainee, she is a trainee at Cleary Gottlieb Steel & Hamilton, a law firm that is neither owned nor managed by Claire.

Thank you for your time and consideration, I eagerly await your response.

Yours sincerely,

Feedback: Echoing the comments made in relation to the previous answer, “Thank you for your kind consideration” followed by the appropriate sign-off (“Yours sincerely” in this case) would have sufficed.

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Ms. Walsh,

I had the pleasure of discussing career prospects at Clyde & Co with Miranda Karali, partner at the London office, and am writing to express my interest in a vacation scheme. As an LLM student at [redacted] specialising in dispute resolution with significant work experience in international commercial litigation and arbitration, I feel well prepared to contribute to the operations of the firm.

[Feedback:  Fantastic start to the cover letter. It indicates research and sets the tone for the application: (1) - knowss name of recruiter from LinkedIn so it’s more personal and (2) says upfront that he’s spoken to a partner about the firm.  Minor suggestions are: (1) “writing to apply for the vacation scheme” (less passive) and (2) “...well prepared to contribute to the ongoing success of the firm”, (3) “partner in the London office” and (4) make the sentences shorter with sub-clauses becoming separate sentences.]

I am particularly interested in practising dispute resolution at Clyde & Co in view of its leading position as one of the largest dispute resolution practices in the UK and its outstanding reputation in international arbitration. With a strong focus on its core sectors of international trade, natural resources, infrastructure, transportation and insurance and its unique expansion into emerging markets, Clyde & Co has solidified its position as a key facilitator of international trade and investment. An example of and a testament to the firm’s strong commitment to long-term business relationships with clients is the recent decision to extend its China reach via a legal partnership so as to more effectively service international clients with Chinese interests.

[Feedback: This is good.  It’s obviously an exaggeration that Clydes is a “key facilitator of international trade and investment”, but it’s a well thought out marriage of research and reasons why the candidate is genuinely interested in the firm.  It is also structurally sound, beginning with an introductory point and then building out that concept throughout the paragraph.

The first sentence could be more succinct and focused on prestige rather than size: “I am particularly interested in qualifying into the dispute resolution team.  Clyde & Co’s reputation as one of the UK’s leading dispute resolution practices and its particular expertise in international arbitration convinces me that the firm is an excellent choice for me”. It might also help to show off research here by listing any awards the firm has won or recognition it has gained in this area to demonstrate prestige. The final sentence could be a little more powerful if commas were added to say “An example of, and as a testament to, the firm’s strong commitment to long-term business relationships with clients,...]

At Clyde & Co, I hope to accelerate my education by learning from leading experts in emerging markets, international trade and dispute resolution so that I may rapidly become a valuable collaborator. Throughout various internships, I have enjoyed working in collegial environments where results depend upon effective cooperation, whether this was drafting legal opinions on litigation and regulatory issues (DLA Piper, 2018) or issues relating to insolvency law (Bingham McCutchen, 2018). I have also produced results independently, for instance by examining the extraterritorial impact of the UK Bribery Act 2010 on Austrian companies (DLA Piper, 2018) or redrafting the Final Award in a construction arbitration dispute (Baier Rechtsanwälte, 2019).

[Feedback:  Normally in a cover letter it might be wise to focus on more than a single area of the firm’s practice (i.e. there is a heavy focus on dispute resolution), but the candidate manages to make his interests very clear without sounding too repetitive. The candidate does a near perfect job of listing relevant experience succinctly (and it is excellent experience considering he is only applying for a vacation scheme). The paragraph flows well and impressively fits in all of his work experience into this paragraph, successfully answering “why law” and “why me” concurrently.

The sentences could be shortened a little, and Baier is a foreign firm so it could also help to list what city he performed that work in to show off international experience.]

My current academic engagements in international trade and investment dispute settlement, international commercial litigation, and international commercial law, as well as my immediate involvement in the Willem C. Vis Arbitration Moot as a member of the [redacted] team, have provided the basis for dealing with and identifying methods of navigating around real issues at the forefront of commercial law.

[Feedback:  If it wasn’t obvious already, the candidate is going all out on his area of interest. The Vis arbitration moot is the gold standard in this space. The writing remains strong in this paragraph, too.

However, the application is a little light on interest in commercial law generally and it would be better to remove the two lines that essentially just list out his university modules. The arbitration/litigation credentials are already fantastic and so the word count could be better used showing a different side of the application.]

I believe that I possess the requisite qualities—an international background, practical experience, knowledge of five languages, leadership and teamwork skills, self-motivation, academic ability, and intellectual curiosity in a range of legal issues—to meet the high expectations set for employees at a leading international law firm and wish to face this challenge at Clyde & Co.

[Feedback:  This is an excellent concluding paragraph that convincingly ties his own personal achievements and skill-set to working at Clyde & Co. The writing also has a nice flair to it.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully,

[Feedback: you should sign letters to people whose name you know as “Yours sincerely”.  It’s a minor point, but an easy one to fix. In any event there’s no need to capitalise the “Faithfully”.]

[redacted]

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Graduate Recruitment,

I am writing to apply for the summer vacation scheme role at Covington & Burling. I am a penultimate year law student at [redacted] University who is interested in gaining experience at a distinctively global firm with a strong ethos and culture.

[Feedback:  For a cover letter of this length (500 words), we would recommend the following structure:

1.     A salutation and a short one-sentence introduction concerning what you are applying for (namely, a vacation scheme or training contract).

2.     A paragraph addressing your motivation for pursuing a career in law (specifically, as a commercial solicitor).

3.     A section discussing your motivation for applying to the firm in question (in this case, Covington & Burling).

4.     A passage on why you think you would be a good fit for a trainee at the firm.

5.     A short concluding sentence and the appropriate sign-off message.

The candidate begins with an appropriate salutation and an introductory paragraph. Sometimes the firm will tell you (in the application form itself) to whom you should address your cover letter; if they do, you must ensure that you address it as instructed.

The candidate’s introductory paragraph is good, if not a little verbose. The candidate does well in including what they are applying for, their year of study, degree and university. You should be aware that all of this information will be included elsewhere on your application form, so it is worth keeping it as short as possible to avoid unnecessary repetition.

The candidate also writes that they are ‘interested in gaining experience at a distinctively global firm with a strong ethos and culture’. In our opinion, this is not necessary and could be cut from the answer (saving at least 15 words). The statement does not actually communicate anything substantive and, whilst it sounds nice, only serves to delay the recruiter from getting into the body of the candidate’s cover letter. You should keep your introduction short and jump straight into the content. By doing so, you will preserve more of the word count for later use and keep the recruiter engaged.]

My initial interest in law and desire to work in a law firm was due to the intellectual curiosity and academic rigour which the work demands. Although much of the law is rigid in structure and has guided judicial decisions for decades, the element of flexibility and interpretation which shapes and develops law ensures greater consistency with the needs of citizens. As the economy constantly fluctuates in response to varying consumer trends, the way the law therefore has to accelerate and react to stay relevant in the legal market is exciting.

[Feedback:  This paragraph, and the one below, address the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law. This first section addresses the candidate’s motivation with respect to law, whilst the second deals with, specifically, commercial law.

The candidate begins their answer with a clear topic sentence which clearly outlines the reasons for their interest in a legal career. The candidate then spends the rest of the paragraph explaining their claim and elucidating some of the features of the law.

Although the answer is quite engaging, it could be structured better. We would recommend adopting a point, evidence, explanation, link (‘PEEL’) structure for your paragraphs. As it stands, this section serves as a commentary about the evolving nature of the law. However, the candidate makes no substantive comments about what this means in practice for a career in law.

The candidate’s answer is lacking in two areas: detail and argumentation. With respect to detail, the candidate has not provided any specific evidence for their claims or to support their explanations. This is problematic as the answer lacks credence and is not properly linked to the candidate or real-world phenomena. This ultimately results in statements that sound eloquent but lack substantive meaning. For instance, the candidate writes, ‘much of the law is rigid in structure and has guided judicial decisions for decades’; however, it is unclear what this actually means or why it is relevant. This serves to prove that if you are making a particularly nuanced point, you must provide evidence and examples to help articulate your point and have the recruiter understand what you are arguing.

With respect to argumentation, it is not clear what the reason behind this paragraph is. Although the candidate sets out that they are attracted to the career for the ‘intellectual curiosity and academic rigour’ that it demands, they do not provide any evidence or explanation for this claim, and the point is never referred to again in the paragraph. You must remember to formulate an argument in your paragraphs. The recruiter does not want to read long, flowing prose on a particular subject. They want to read about your motivations for the career and the firm. Hence, you should adopt a PEEL structure to ensure that you are forwarding a strong argument and providing the necessary evidence and explanation to support it.

Finally, you should be careful of using flowery language. The candidate writes that ‘the way the law therefore has to accelerate and react to stay relevant in the legal market is exciting’. This is not consistent with what the candidate has written previously. This sentence refers to ‘the legal market’; however, the preceding clause referred to ‘consumer trends’, and the rest of the answer was making a comment about wider society and the broader economy.

To clarify, ‘the legal market’ refers to the industry that provides legal goods and services, such as law firms or legal technology companies like Luminance. Hence, it does not make much sense to discuss the law needing to develop to stay relevant in the legal market. When you write your answers, you should keep your writing simple and to the point to avoid making these kinds of errors. Simplicity and depth are always preferable to complexity and breadth.]

I would like to pursue a career in commercial law as I am fascinated by the fast-paced and dynamic environment. I am drawn into the client-facing aspect and opportunity to work with businesses from an extensive spectrum of sectors, allowing me to broaden my experiences through interacting with a range of clients. I am particularly interested in building client relationships in order to most efficiently work with businesses, actually understanding how they operate: their motivation, drive and their business strategy in the developing world. It is crucial that lawyers need not only to be able to react to change but more importantly, anticipate risks associated with those changes. Being able to analyse more than just the bottom line of a development is vital to ensure firms continue to use innovative tools to support a strategy which brings long-term profit.

[Feedback:  This section focuses on the candidate’s motivations for a career in commercial law. This paragraph is similar to the one above. The candidate does well to lead with a clear point about why they are attracted to the career. The answer then explains their point and what the candidate likes about the work that lawyers do. The answer demonstrates that the candidate is aware of some of the facets of the career and understands the role that lawyers play in modern business.

The points for improvement are similar to those concerning the previous paragraph. The candidate declines to provide any specific evidence for their claims. For instance, the candidate writes that they are ‘particularly interested in building client relationships in order to most efficiently work with businesses, actually understanding how they operate’. However, they do not provide any evidence as to why they want to understand how businesses operate. Yes, lawyers need to understand how businesses operate; nevertheless, why, on a personal level, does the candidate want to garner such an understanding? You must remember that these questions warrant a personal response. The law firm wants to know why the work that lawyers do interests you. It is not sufficient for you to claim that you are interested in something because that is what makes a good lawyer.

Similarly, the candidate writes, ‘[b]eing able to analyse more than just the bottom line of a development is vital to ensure firms continue to use innovative tools to support a strategy which brings long-term profit’. This may be true, but why is it relevant to the question? The candidate needed to construct an argument that ran throughout the answer. Ultimately, the recruiter does not want to read about what is or is not good for businesses. They want to read about why you are interested and suitable for a career in commercial law. If you showcase your knowledge concerning economics or commerce, this may bolster your response, but it does not automatically provide a direct answer to the question.

When you draft your answers, you should consider adopting the following PEEL structure:

1.     A point concerning a facet of the career that attracts you to it.

2.     A piece of evidence that demonstrates that your point is actually the case (namely, the career has the trait or opportunity that you claim it does).

3.     An explanation of your evidence and how it demonstrates that the career has the trait or opportunity that you claim it does.

4.     A link back to the question at hand where you explain why this point matters to you on a personal level. You should note that you will need to provide evidence for this too.]

Hearing about Covington's quality of work at Bright Networks Future Top 100 Lawyers event and its particular expertise in its regulatory practice encouraged me to apply. In pharmaceuticals, I enjoyed reading about Covington's dispute resolution cases representing Hoffmann La-Roche, where the firm successfully convinced the Court to dismiss 2,100 cases. The fact Covington was able to overturn the Court’s previous verdicts on the mass Accutane tort claims cements its position as a word-leading practice.

[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate turns their attention to why they want to work at Covington & Burling in particular. The candidate leads with a good piece of evidence, citing their personal experience at the ‘Bright Networks Future Top 100 Lawyers event’. This demonstrates the candidate’s engagement with not only the firm and the additional research they have conducted but also their own strength as a candidate.

The candidate then goes on to describe a specific deal that the firm worked on, citing it as evidence for the pharmaceuticals department being ‘a word-leading practice’. You should note how the candidate employs specific facts and statistics in their answer. The candidate names the client and references the specific number of cases that were dismissed. These kinds of details demonstrate the candidate’s attention to detail and that they have properly researched the deal.

To improve this answer, the candidate needed to relate their discussion back to themselves. Whilst it is all well and good to discuss the firm’s prowess in particular areas, the recruiter will be wondering why that matters to you in particular. The candidate needed to have provided an explanation as to why they were particularly interested in pharmaceuticals. You must remember that citing a deal is only the ‘evidence’ part of your answer. You must still provide a relevant point, explanation, and link to formulate a convincing argument.

When you discuss a firm’s work, you should focus on its main practice areas. These areas are most likely, the ones that the firm will recruit the most trainees into and generate the most revenue for the firm. Hence, the law firm wants to see that you are interested in those areas. Furthermore, it is not sufficient to state that you are interested in such areas; you must also provide accompanying personalised examples and explanations. You should remember to stick to a PEEL structure for each of your paragraphs to ensure concision and that you answer the question fully.]

The firm’s work with legislators through lobbying is a competitive advantage. It is exciting that the firm have ex-politician senior advisers with extensive knowledge on policy matters. This allows the firm to provide quality client service considering all risks. Covington successfully selects their locations to work in; ensuring they are relevant in all practices. I believe the firm has a distinct expansion strategy which works well; they understand how to react to emerging markets through their regional initiatives yet value having a depth of practice. For example, the firm’s growing presence in China represents the firms forward- thinking outlook and evaluating which regions will provide more opportunities and challenges to clients.

[Feedback:  In this section, the candidate continues to discuss their motivations for working at the firm. The paragraph’s content spans multiple points; however, a common theme is the firm’s business strategy. The candidate highlights the following points that they indicate are particular to the firm:

1.     The firm’s work with ‘legislators’ and employment of ‘ex-politician senior advisers’.

2.     The particular locations and practice areas that the firm chooses to operate in. 

3.     The firm’s growing presence in China.

Overall, the candidate does highlight relevant points that somewhat differentiate the firm from its competitors. The answer demonstrates that the candidate has a broad understanding of what some of the firm’s strengths are and why they are important.

It would have been better for the candidate to focus on one point rather than several. As the candidate’s answer is focused on breadth, the response lacks the evidence and analysis required for an optimal answer. For instance, the candidate describes the ‘firm’s work with ‘legislators’ and employment of ‘ex-politician senior advisers’; however, they do not give an example of someone that the firm works with or employs or a specific example of how that has helped the firm. You should remember that showing the recruiter what you mean is more powerful than merely telling them.

Similarly, the candidate needed to provide some deeper analysis with respect to some of their points. For instance, when the candidate discusses the firm’s expansion strategy and cites China as an example, the candidate needs to be more specific. The candidate writes that the firm ‘[evaluates] which regions will provide more opportunities and challenges to clients’; however, the candidate does not explain why China will be better for clients. Whilst the firm may have a strategy and know why China, for example, is a good place to be expanding now, the recruiter wants to see whether you know and truly understand the firm’s strategy. Once again, you must be prepared to justify your claims and show the recruiter not just that you know something but how you came to know it.]

Finally, I am attracted to the small trainee intake. Whilst I am not afraid to take initiative and thrive working in team environments, I believe the small size will give me more opportunity to gain more responsibility and specialised training.

[Feedback: This paragraph, unfortunately, is too short. The candidate is correct to turn their attention to the firm’s training contract and explain why a small trainee intake would benefit them. However, the candidate needed to have spent more of the word count developing this paragraph. As it stands, the answer is incomplete as it lacks supporting evidence and explanations for their claims.

For instance, the candidate states that they ‘believe the small size will give me more opportunity to gain more responsibility and specialised training’ but does provide any evidence for the soundness of their claim. Similarly, the candidate writes that they are ‘not afraid to take [the] initiative and thrive working in team environments’, but they provide no personal evidence for this. This statement is also somewhat contradictory: taking the initiative is typically associated with working individually, not in teams. You should observe that as the candidate does not have as many words as they would like to write this paragraph, they have attempted to condense lots of ideas into too small a space.

We would always recommend prioritising depth over breadth. By cutting this paragraph, the candidate would have avoided making incomplete arguments (and bringing down the overall quality of the answer) and would have saved 40 words which they could use to bolster the previous paragraphs.

Furthermore, as the candidate has run out of words, they have not properly signed off their cover letter. Although this is a minor point, the recruiter is likely to notice this and may call into question your ability to organise your writing and ration the 500-word limit. Hence, you should ensure that you concisely sign off your cover letter. You may consider using the following:

 ‘Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours faithfully,

[Your Name]’

‘Yours faithfully’ is to be used when you do not know the name of the person you are addressing the cover letter to, whilst ‘yours sincerely’ should be used if you do know their name.]

[No question prompt provided]

Tuula Davis

Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle LLP

99 Gresham Street

London, EC2V 7NG

25 January 2021

Dear Tuula Davis,

[Feedback: Where possible, always track down the name of the Graduate Recruitment Manager who is responsible for reviewing applications like the candidate does here.  It’s conventional to use “Mr” or “Ms”, but where there is any doubt as to the recipient’s preferred pronoun, use their full name instead.]

I am writing to apply for a training contract at Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle LLP ("Curtis") as part of the 2021 intake. Please find enclosed with this letter a copy of my CV, a schedule to which includes full details of my educational qualifications from GCSEs onwards.

[Feedback: US firms are fond of longer names.  You can save word count and improve clarity by defining an abbreviation upfront like the candidate does here. 

My first introduction to Curtis was through hearing stories and recommendations from fellow delegates during my Masters in Business Administration (MBA) at [redacted] University. Attendees were drawn from around the world with varied backgrounds in industry; I myself embarked upon the MBA having completed 8 years working in film production for global studios Disney and Warner Brothers, and spending time working in New York. Curtis was, and is, consistently referenced as an example of a firm with deep understanding of international clients and businesses, as exemplified through its focus on arbitration as the principal route for dispute resolution. The firm's reputation and international presence also provides it with capability to advise on complex cases involving multiple jurisdictions

[Feedback: This is a neat start which weaves together “why me” and “why Curtis”.  Although we normally prefer to treat these as discrete sections alongside a paragraph on “why commercial law” (which features immediately below), it works well here. 

It’s unusual for MBA graduates to switch to law.  The candidate is right to highlight this dimension to their application upfront.  In our experience, UK law firms sometimes struggle to see the value of an MBA qualification, but US firms are typically more interested which reflects the greater popularity of the MBA qualification in the US. 

The downside of weaving together “why me” and “why Curtis” is that it is hard to cover either in sufficient depth.  The candidate subsequently returns to both topics, but the coverage of each is more superficial than it would be had the candidate broken them out.]

It was clear that the program areas that interested me most on the MBA were the legal ones: corporate structures, business disputes, commercial negotiations, and technical detail. I felt a natural and increasing draw to the law, and Curtis in particular, which was borne out by further research and investigations. After completing my MBA studies at [redacted], I built on this experience with my legal studies at BPP (with commendation and distinction on my GDL and LPC) and complemented this further with experiences of the legal profession. My time spent working as a paralegal at [redacted law firm], my shadowing and research assistance for barristers at [redacted] Chambers, my discussions with lawyers, attendance at open days and law firm events - these have all reinforced my conviction and determination to pursue a legal career and become a commercial solicitor with a focus upon international disputes. Most recently my time as a paralegal, immersed in a team and experiencing day to-day legal practice, have provided real insight into life as a lawyer. I understand what I can expect of the legal profession but, more importantly, what is to be expected of me.

[Feedback: While it is surprising that someone would discover an interest in law through an MBA programme, the candidate does a good job at explaining why this is the case.  Law firms’ recruitment is geared towards undergraduate students, but it gets easier to convincingly demonstrate a well-grounded interest in a career as a commercial solicitor as you advance further in your legal training.  In this case, the candidate has self-funded the LPC and GDL and then gone on to work as a paralegal.  Law firms don’t typically consider self-funding as evidence of motivation (see our blog post on the topic), but working as a paralegal does evidence this effectively. 

There are two minor drafting issues with this paragraph.  First, “...complemented this further with experiences of legal profession” sounds pompous.  The candidate should refer directly to legal work experience instead.  Secondly, the candidate mixes up the singular and plural forms in his penultimate sentence: (“...My time as a paralegal..have provided real insight into life as a lawyer.”)

Curtis has a strong reputation for rewarding hard work, its collegiate atmosphere and where trainees are given responsibility early. As a mature applicant, I am ready and eager for this challenge. As well as its strong work ethic, Curtis has an ideal corporate environment. It welcomes diversity and, as a gay man who has previously been the victim of discrimination, I value the firm's authentic commitment to inclusivity.

[Feedback: The candidate successfully weaves the personal and the professional in the second part of this paragraph.  This is done well and adds to the application. However, this letter is quite limited on “why Curtis”, which potentially reflects a lack of research about the firm.  If you are applying to a US law firm with a small base in London, you should read the firm’s entry in Chambers Associate (the US equivalent of Chambers Student) as part of your research.  As noted above, if the candidate had structured the “why Curtis” part of the answer as a standalone section then he would be able to go into more depth on this point.]

I am accustomed to long hours and working under pressure in high intensity environments with tight deadlines. This, combined with my undergraduate and postgraduate studies, has given me a unique combination of commercial knowledge coupled with real-world experience. I am now able to apply my business acumen towards legal issues and vice-versa, which I believe Curtis's clients would appreciate.

[Feedback:This demonstrates awareness about what a career as a commercial lawyer may entail, but it doesn’t explain how the candidate is accustomed to high intensity environments.   The candidate can make this part of his application more convincing by providing a specific example or reference to a series of examples which evidence this point.]

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

[Candidate’s name]

Feedback: Davis Polk does not provide any guidance regarding the structure or the content of the cover letter, but it is generally good practice to answer the following questions in turn (as the candidate does in this case):

1.     Why commercial law?

2.     Why this firm?

3.     Why you?

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Graduate Recruitment,

I am writing to apply for Davis Polk’s 2022 Summer Vacation Scheme. I am currently a penultimate year student studying law at [redacted Oxbridge college].

Feedback: This is an effective introduction because it makes the purpose of the cover letter and the profile of the candidate immediately clear to the reader. At the same time, the candidate does well to address their cover letter to the graduate recruitment team and thereby avoid the more impersonal “Dear Sir/ Madam”. As a rule of thumb, we recommend that you follow the candidate’s example and address your cover letters to the graduate recruitment team as a whole rather than a particular individual within that team unless the firm expressly asks you to do otherwise (e.g., Slaughter and May).

I wish to pursue a career in commercial law because my experiences as sponsorship officer for student societies at university have taught me to be commercially minded and client-focused. As I met and negotiated with over 50 clients from a wide range of industries, such as technology, education, and property, and ultimately securing contracts worth over £40,000, I enjoyed learning about the different commercial needs and motivations of my clients. I also derived great satisfaction from delivering bespoke solutions to my clients to help them achieve their commercial goals.

Feedback: The candidate expresses their interest in commercial law in a clear manner and justifies it by drawing on their participation in extra-curricular activities that share broad similarities with the role of a commercial solicitor. Moreover, the candidate provides details regarding their participation in said activities and explains their enjoyment thereof, which increases the credibility and authenticity of their claims. To take this answer to the next level, we would have expressed the importance of being commercially minded and client focused as a commercial solicitor even more explicitly. We would have also shortened and rephrased some of the sentences to improve readability, but this is a relatively minor point.

After starting my own business in retail, I also realised how important commercial law is to running a business and making sound business judgments. As a law student, I naturally considered the relevant legal issues of running a business and sought advice from partners at City law firms, which made me appreciate commercial law’s advisory role. When I delved into areas such as M&A and private equity in my free time, I learned more about the transactional nature of commercial law.

Feedback:The candidate does well to tackle the importance of the law per se because it is what fundamentally distinguishes a career in commercial law from a career in finance or consulting. By citing their experience with starting and running their own business as a law student in support of their claims, the candidate cleverly showcases their entrepreneurial drive, a quality that US-heritage commercial law firms tend to emphasise in the context of recruitment.

To take this answer to the next level, we would have explained why the law is an integral part of “running a business and making sound business judgement” and we would have followed with a personal insight. In this case, the candidate could have easily discussed their experience with incorporating their business as a legal entity; without said process, their business would have been virtually invisible in the eyes of the law and hence unlikely to inspire sufficient confidence in customers and other businesses to be a productive endeavour in the grand scheme of things. At the same time, we would have explained how we managed to obtain advice from partners at City law firms to bolster the credibility of such a claim. Finally, we would have highlighted why we chose to spend our free time researching “areas such as M&A and private equity” and why we enjoyed learning about “the transactional nature of commercial law”. Transactional areas of commercial law at firms like Davis Polk can be appealing for a myriad of reasons, including their complexity, learning opportunities, high stakes, non-commoditised nature, etc.

Therefore, having got a taste of commercial law, I believe it is the right choice for me because it combines delivering great client service and gaining a deeper understanding of commercial activity.

Feedback:This sentence is effective because it provides the reader with an emphatic summary of the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law, creating the impression of confidence on the part of the latter. It would have been even more impactful if it had followed immediately after the introductory remark of the cover letter; it would have enhanced the readability of the cover letter as a whole, as it would have allowed the reader to anticipate and follow the candidate’s train of thought with relative ease.

On a different note, a single sentence should not stand on its own in a cover letter unless it is the introductory remark (e.g., “I am writing to apply for Davis Polk’s 2022 Summer Vacation Scheme”) or the concluding remark (“Thank you for your consideration”).

I wish to train at Davis Polk because the firm is frequently retained to work on the most challenging matters by high profile clients in areas such as corporate M&A and debt & equity capital markets. Moreover, the firm’s small trainee intake allows its trainees to build a strong connection with everyone at the firm and receive the highest quality of training and guidance from senior colleagues. This is very attractive for me because I know I will undertake the highest quality of work available at Davis Polk and that I will be learning from the leading lawyers in the industry, which will be extremely beneficial for my personal and professional development.

Feedback:The candidate correctly identifies the areas of commercial law in which Davis Polk excels, as well as the perks of training at a firm with a small trainee intake. The candidate does well to explain why the work undertaken by the firm and the size of the trainee intake are appealing to them, though their explanation would have been even more persuasive had they shared personal insights in support of their claims. To showcase their research into the firm, the candidate could have also cited examples of Davis Polk’s high-profile clients (e.g., AstraZeneca, Rolls Royce, Goldman Sachs) or any accolades received by the firm in relation to the quality of its work, including rankings and awards. 

Furthermore, the firm’s strong emphasis on pro bono, which sees it devoting thousands of hours helping NGOs and individual clients, is also very appealing to me because I enjoy pro bono work very much and started my own initiative at university to help international Chinese students with legal matters. In 2021, I assisted in approximately 20 matters such as landlord-tenant disputes, fraud and domestic abuse, which were the most common problems Chinese students faced. My work often involved researching and clarifying laws surrounding their issues, acting as a mediator to settle disputes, and referring their cases to local law firms.

Feedback:Given that Davis Polk prides itself on its “exceptional tradition of giving back”, the candidate does well to include the firm’s commitment to altruistic causes within their cover letter, though it is not an indispensable subject of discussion. However, what makes this paragraph particularly effective is that the candidate demonstrates their own commitment to altruistic causes by sharing their own pro bono initiative in tandem and painting a reasonably clear picture thereof to the reader. Not only does this render their cover letter genuine and authentic, but it also indicates the compatibility of their values to those of the firm. You can achieve a similar effect in your cover letter if you have had any experience related to volunteering or giving back to your community, whether in a legal context or not. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate could have elaborated on Davis Polk’s pro bono work by referencing specific initiatives or projects in which the firm has been involved, relevant accolades it has received and/or relevant statistics; this would have highlighted their research into the firm.

I believe I have practised many of the skills needed to succeed as a commercial lawyer through my experiences. Furthermore, I also believe that I possess the entrepreneurial spirit and initiative required to thrive in Davis Polk’s tight-knit community. For example, starting my own business practiced my skills at identifying and researching unfamiliar legal and business issues, such as choosing a right legal structure, determining voting rights of shareholders, and ascertaining the tax implications of different jurisdictions. Equally, running a business requires me to coordinate and communicate with different parties to ensure everything is moving in the right direction. I frequently had to liaise between different parties such as the architect, the estate agent, my own legal advisors, and the landlord’s solicitors when signing the commercial lease. This experience practised my organisational and communication skills, which will be useful in a transactional seat where trainees need to do lots of transaction management.

Finally, my experience of leading a team of 90 students and directing my first film also demonstrated my teamwork skills as I naturally strived to help and empower others to succeed when working towards a common goal. I also take pride in the fact that my first film received recognition by China’s biggest media network, CCTV, who made a documentary about the making of the film, which was broadcast nationally in China. I always strive to produce the highest quality work to the best of my ability and will continue to do so in a professional setting.

Feedback: These paragraphs are effective because the candidate correctly identifies a number of skills and qualities that are relevant to the pursuit of a career in commercial law (e.g., research, communication, organisation, teamwork, etc). Moreover, the candidate demonstrates that they possess said skills and qualities by referencing their extra-curricular activities and positions of responsibility before linking their relevance back to the pursuit of a career in commercial law. To achieve a similar effect, we recommend that you follow the “PEEL” (“point”, “explanation”, “evidence”, “link”) structure. To bolster this answer, the candidate could have doubled down on the skills and qualities required within a small trainee intake, such as the ability to work on multiple matters concurrently, manage high levels of responsibility, and take initiative when appropriate.

I am very excited to apply to a world leading law firm such as Davis Polk. I hope to tell you more about myself during the application process.

Yours faithfully,

[Redacted]

Feedback: This is a fine conclusion to the cover letter, though we would recommend using the more concise and professional “Thank you for your consideration” and following that with the appropriate sign-off (“Yours faithfully” in this case).

[No question prompt provided]

Dear X,

I’m a recent LLM graduate from [redacted London university], having completed my LLB at [redacted London university] and I am writing to apply for a [redacted year] training contract at Dorsey & Whitney in London.

Feedback: There is no harm in writing a brief introductory paragraph like this, provided it contextualises your application and provides some structure to it. However, we think the candidate has spent too much time repeating points that would have covered elsewhere in their application. They spend time telling the recruiter that they have an LLM and an LLB from two different universities. Given that Dorsey asks you to submit a CV together with your cover letter, it’s very likely this information will have been covered in that CV. As such, there’s no need to repeat that information here.

If you are going to have an introduction, it should be kept incredibly brief – to the tune of “My name is [insert name here] and I am writing to apply for a training contract place at [law firm name].”. This will free up valuable space, which you can use to substantiate other parts of your cover letter.

As a slight nitpick, the candidate should not have abbreviated “I am” to “I’m”. This results in an overly informal tone, which is obviously not the appropriate tone for a professional cover letter. You should avoid abbreviations like this and instead opt for formal language at all times (even if it increases your word count). This will create a good first impression on the recruiter.

As a general point, we noticed that the candidate did not address their general interest in commercial law throughout this answer. They instead devote four paragraphs towards their interest in Dorsey. This is not inherently harmful, but we would expect the candidate to have provided some explanation for their interest in a career in commercial law. As a rule, your cover letter should cover (1) why commercial law, (2) why this law firm and (3) why you. You should devote around two paragraphs of equal depth to each section of the letter. This will give the recruiter a complete insight into your interest in commercial law, as well as the reasons that led you to apply there.

Firstly, I’m interested in a training contract at Dorsey because of the firm's organisational structure that grants trainees a lot of exposure and responsibility. Dorsey takes on a very small intake of trainees each year, meaning everyone is encouraged to take on more responsibility. I previously undertook a vacation scheme at [redacted international law firm] where I observed the exciting multi-jurisdictional, client-facing deals prestigious firms get involved in, and I found it incredibly exciting. However, I was discouraged by the level of responsibility that their trainees received. In contrast, I believe at Dorsey I would be given an unparalleled opportunity to have real responsibility and learn from senior lawyers early on in my career.

Feedback: This paragraph’s objective looks good, as it addresses a key component of the cover letter from the outset (namely “why Dorsey”). The candidate does well to follow the PEEL/AL structure throughout (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). First, the candidate outlines and explains their point from the outset. From the outset, the candidate explains concisely that they are interested in Dorsey because of its organisational structure (and the culture that results from it). Then, the candidate develops and explains their point with objective facts about the firm’s trainee intake. Not only does this help tailor the candidate’s initial point, but it also adds logical structure to the candidate’s writing. This makes the candidate’s subsequent writing easier to follow (and so be persuaded by). You should follow the PEEL/AL structure just as this candidate has done. This will result in a cogent, well-structured argumentative paragraph that the recruiter can follow with ease.

The candidate also does well to substantiate their argument by using a specific personal example. Once the candidate finishes their point, they introduce personalised evidence from their vacation scheme at a global law firm. They go beyond simply name-dropping and shoehorning in this vacation scheme. Instead, they explain precisely what they did (and did not) find interesting about it. Then, the candidate goes on to explain how that vacation scheme ultimately aligned their interest towards firms with higher levels of responsibility. This adds great persuasive value to the candidate’s writing, since it demonstrates that they have a clear personal interest in Dorsey’s organisational structure.

However, this paragraph has a few weaknesses that need to be addressed:                            

1.     The candidate’s central point is not fully explained. They assert that small trainee intakes result in higher levels of responsibility, but they never explain (1) why this is the case nor (2) what that responsibility would involve and (3) why that is ultimately important to them. It is not a given that firms with small trainee intakes will give you “more responsibility”. As a trainee, you will still be working primarily on lower-value and administrative tasks whilst you build up your experience. This is true whether you are a trainee at a small or large firm. It’s equally true that trainees at large firms can receive high levels of responsibility, depending on the team they are in. As such, the candidate needed to develop their point further with specific facts and details about Dorsey.

2.     The candidate’s writing is not fully tailored to Dorsey. Dorsey is not the only firm with such a small trainee intake (of two per year). Many US firms in the City offer training contracts to only 2-10 trainees per year. These intake sizes result in the same benefits generally (i.e. that you will be staffed on leaner deal teams and so you will have better exposure to senior lawyers). As such, the candidate needed to go much further in explaining (1) why Dorsey’s structure is unique and (2) why that ultimately interests them.

3.     The candidate’s writing is unfocused in places. For instance, the candidate describes the “exciting multi-jurisdictional and client-facing deals” they experienced at their vacation scheme. It’s not clear how this is relevant to the candidate’s point about Dorsey’s structure. As such, this writing messes with the candidate’s structure and makes their writing harder to follow.

For reference, you should stick to just one point per paragraph. You should then develop that point with specific research about Dorsey and any relevant personal evidence you can connect to it.

I’m further motivated toward a career at Dorsey because of the firm’s international mergers & acquisitions expertise. Dorsey has ranked in the top 10 among all firms for the number of US M&A deals completed. Furthermore, Dorsey’s client base includes one-third of Fortune 100 companies. I had the opportunity to undertake a module on [redacted private equity module] during my [redacted law subject] LLM at [redacted London university], which I found incredibly interesting. Furthermore, I have previously really enjoyed a seat in corporate during a vacation scheme at [redacted law firm]. I strongly believe at Dorsey I would get better exposure to excellent transactional work.

Feedback: As with the previous paragraph, the candidate does well in following the PEEL/AL structure. They state a point from the outset, before substantiating that point with specific research into Dorsey. Then, the candidate introduces two specific personal examples from their experiences on the LLM and on a vacation scheme respectively. Finally, the candidate draws a brief link between their personal experiences and their wider interest in Dorsey. This results in a coherent paragraph that is generally easy for the recruiter to follow.

The candidate also does slightly better in demonstrating their research into Dorsey here. Unlike the previous paragraph, the candidate substantiates their point with specific factual and numerical details about Dorsey’s rankings and the clients it attracts. This achieves two positive objectives. First, it goes slightly further in tailoring the candidate’s point towards Dorsey. The candidate’s initial point is quite generic because most City firms offer international M&A experience of some kind. As such, the candidate does well to develop their point with specific facts and research that gears the point towards Dorsey. Secondly, the research demonstrates that the candidate has committed themselves to some wider reading around Dorsey and its practice areas. In turn, this helps demonstrate that the candidate has devoted serious attention towards Dorsey and considered carefully whether they want a career there. In your own writing, you must back up your points with specific and detailed high-level research into the firm. This will demonstrate that you have a serious commitment to the firm.

This paragraph nonetheless requires improvement in a few areas:

1. As with the previous paragraph, the candidate’s point is not sufficiently tailored towards Dorsey. The facts/details do not go far enough in explaining this. Nearly every City firm will attract Fortune 100 clients in some capacity. Furthermore, the candidate’s point about Dorsey being in the “top 10” for US M&A deals is not specific enough. It will simply beg the question as to why the candidate applied to Dorsey, as opposed to the other 9 firms in that top 10 ranking. Instead, the candidate should have researched the unique features of Dorsey’s M&A work and explained why those specific features interest them.

2. The candidate does not sufficiently develop their personal examples. They simply assert that they “enjoyed” their corporate seat and found their LLM module “interesting”. They never explain (1) precisely what interested them about each experience, nor (2) how that interest ties back in with their point about Dorsey’s M&A practice. These are not self-explanatory. The candidate would have needed to develop these points in much greater detail.

The candidate probably spread themselves too thinly by relying on two examples. As a rule, you should stick to one high-quality personal example per paragraph. This will give you the space you need to develop that example in full.

I’m also really interested in the firm's commercial litigation team that deals with complex international cases. The team recently represented Watchstone Group during its £63 million claim against accountancy powerhouse PwC for breach of contract and fiduciary duty among other allegations. I find this particularly interesting having worked on a shareholders’ dispute during a vacation scheme at [redacted law firm]. Furthermore, coming from an international background and having completed my LLM in [redacted LLM subject] I believe I’m well placed to take advantage of Dorsey’s international credentials.

Feedback: This paragraph is similarly well-structured to the previous two. Furthermore, the candidate improves on their previous two paragraphs by being even more specific with their research. This time, the candidate does not simply write plain facts about the firm’s trainee intake or wide-reaching points about its rankings/clients. Instead, the candidate zooms in on a specific matter that Dorsey worked on. The candidate also substantiates this matter with specific numerical and factual details. In turn, this provides a concrete logical base which the candidate can use to explain their specific interest in Dorsey. You should aim for similar levels of specificity in your own writing. If you can focus on unique cases and matters that the firm has worked on, then it will be far easier for you to tailor your writing to the firm.

That said, the paragraph suffers similar weaknesses to the previous two. First, the candidate does not truly explain what they found interesting about the Watchstone Group case nor how that developed their wider interest in Dorsey’s “complex international cases”. They never explain specifically what was “complex” about this case. The candidate briefly touches upon a shareholders dispute they shadowed at a law firm, but they never tie this experience back in with their interest in Dorsey’s litigation work. The candidate also asserts vaguely that their “international background” and LLM make them a good candidate for Dorsey’s international work, but they never explain why this is the case. This results in an underdeveloped and weakly-argued paragraph overall. In your own writing, you must not simply namedrop the firm’s cases and deals. You need to unpack specific features of interest from those cases, before tying in your personal examples and explaining how that case developed your wider interest in the firm.

As with the previous paragraphs, the candidate does not sufficiently tailor and develop their point. Most City firms offer litigation teams that deal with “complex cases” – this is not unique to Dorsey. The candidate does not explain how the Watchstone case makes Dorsey uniquely good at litigation. In your own writing, you should not simply name-drop cases. You need to explain specifically how they developed your interest in the firm.

As with the first paragraph, the candidate’s writing is too informal here. They use “I’m” in multiple places, as well as leading their answer with “I’m also really interested…”. This is too conversational in nature. In your own work, you must always write with a formal and professional tone. You can then showcase your personality and speak in a conversational tone if invited to interview.

Lastly, I’m interested in a training contract at Dorsey because of the forward-thinking and entrepreneurial mindset instilled in the firm’s trainees. Having previously completed a finance internship at start-up [redacted company], I know how business works and how to apply it in real life. During this internship, I produced legal documents and financial spreadsheets that helped the company secure a £6 million investment for US expansion. My work experience means I’m able to better understand the legal and commercial ramifications of clients’ problems. Dorsey emphasises the importance of trainees building long-lasting client relations. Therefore, I believe Dorsey is the firm I can grow with throughout my legal career.

Feedback: Finally, the candidate moves onto a separate motivational point covering the firm’s training contract/culture. Compared to previous paragraphs, the strengths and weaknesses of this paragraph are flipped on their heads.

Here, the candidate does very well to substantiate their point with a specific and personal example. They go beyond simply describing their experiences in plain terms, as they did with previous paragraphs. Instead, the candidate substantiates the example with specific numerical details. We are given a detailed insight into precisely what the candidate did, together with a brief picture of why they found it interesting. You should aim for similar levels of specificity in your own writing. Instead of simply outlining your experiences in plain terms, you should identify specific examples of tasks/jobs you worked on during that experience. You can then develop a strong argument that explains your personal interest in the firm.

However, the candidate does very little to develop their initial point about Dorsey. The candidate simply asserts that Dorsey has a “forward-thinking and entrepreneurial mindset”, as well as that it “emphasises the importance of building long-lasting client relationships”. The issue is that the candidate never explains (1) what they mean by this nor (2) how these features make Dorsey unique. Most City firms will expect you to have “forward-thinking” and “entrepreneurial” firms. You’d also be hard-pressed to find a firm that doesn’t want trainees to build relationships with clients. As such, the candidate needed to go much further in explaining why these points make Dorsey unique.

I would add value as a trainee at Dorsey because I’m entrepreneurial, commercially aware and a good team player. Taking part in the prestigious [redacted mock trial competition] was a big personal achievement. Here, I had to present a case in the most persuasive manner in a high-pressure environment in front of a real judge, a skill I would leverage as a trainee at Dorsey. I’m also keen to take on a leadership role, in College I was the President of the Debating Society. I took responsibility for organising events, attended by over 150 people each time. My work was acknowledged by the Dean; I was given the ‘Law Student of the Year Award’. Furthermore, I received a £4,500 Excellence Scholarship. As a result of all these achievements, Dorsey can have confidence that I will consistently rise to the occasion.

Feedback: The candidate now addresses the final element of the cover letter, namely “Why me?”. This is a strong paragraph with few weaknesses overall. First, you should note how the candidate dives straight into specific personal examples. They rightly opt for this approach, instead of simply listing out the skills they have. In turn, this means that Dorsey’s recruiters can infer a variety of relevant skills from the candidate’s achievements. In your own writing, you need to go beyond simply asserting that you have certain skills. Instead, you need to identify specific examples and explain precisely how your skills developed from the example. You would do this by unpacking the specific steps you took in order to achieve your objectives during that example. In turn, this means the recruiter can freely interpret your competencies from the various examples you identified.

You should also note the level of specificity and detail that the candidate gets into. The candidate goes beyond simply outlining and describing their positions of responsibility. Instead, the candidate paints each example with specific numerical detail and quantified facts/details. The candidate also provides specific and quantified outcomes for each experience, such as that they received a specific scholarship as a consequence of their Debating Society work. This fully contextualises the candidate’s achievements and so it adds great persuasive value overall.

However, the candidate needed to go much further in unpacking the specific steps/actions they took during each example. In the first example, the candidate simply asserts that they had to “present a persuasive case” in a “high-pressure environment. The candidate offers no insight into (1) how they built a persuasive case nor (2) how they handled and overcame that pressure. Similarly, the candidate asserts that they “took responsibility for organising” Debating Society events but they never explain how they did so. In your own writing, you need to substantiate your experiences by unpacking the specific steps and actions you took. If you follow the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result), then your writing will go much further in persuading the recruiter that you have the relevant skills.

Thank you for your time considering my application, I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

X

Please write a cover letter. You should include some of the following areas: what attracts you to Gibson Dunn; why you want to become a solicitor; an outstanding personal achievement which added value to either your academic or working environment; details of any prizes, scholarships, positions of responsibility and any other noteworthy achievements that will support your application. (650 WORDS)

Dear Mrs. Kathryn Edwards,

I am a penultimate year student studying Law (LLB) at University College London and I am writing to apply for the Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher 2019 Summer Vacation Scheme.

[Feedback: The opening salvo is concise and direct. It also states the firm’s official name correctly (you would be surprised at how many candidates mess this up!). The candidate could drop the “Kathryn” and can save words by just saying “I am writing to apply for the Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher 2019 Summer Vacation Scheme” as the other info is available in your CV sent alongside the cover letter.]

I have enjoyed my open days at city law firms and legal internships, where I assisted with various tasks: merger, and investment transaction research, and proofreading Islamic finance agreements. I am drawn by the potential for holistic client engagement at different stages of a business’s life cycle and the skilful application of knowledge, negotiation and problem-solving skills to transactions that commercial legal practice would require.

[Feedback: This paragraph begins with tackling why the candidate was drawn to commercial law and wants to be a solicitor, focusing on open days/legal internships, legal tasks undertaken and client engagement over a business’s life cycle. These are all good points and the candidate generally writes well.

The paragraph could do a better job of exploring the initial interest in commercial law. Which open days / internships were completed? And why did you enjoy the work? The writing leaves room for improvement as well, including the following amendments: “merger, and investment transaction research”,“drawn by” is slightly informal, etc.]

Interning at the private equity firm, [redacted], exposed me to the versatility and huge potential of private equity for achieving investment objectives and potentially, for economic development. This prompted me to join the organising committee for the 2019 [redacted] Alternative Investments Conference - the largest annual student conference in the world focused on private equity, hedge funds, and venture capital. Such specialist and exciting work is only available at a top city law firm such as Gibson Dunn. The fully-integrated nature of the firm’s highly ranked global private equity practice would expose me to the firm’s other leading practices such as the US Regulatory Practice, its London Restructuring and Real Estate Practices. This would enable me to support private equity firms at all phases of their investment cycle. This also gives the firm’s private equity team a competitive advantage against other firms.

[Feedback:This paragraph does a good job of weaving in the African Capital Alliance internship and LSESU conference with Gibson’s private equity practice. It tells the story quite well of internship -> taking action to learn more -> applying to Gibson. The candidate also shows research skills by mentioning that the private equity practice is well regarded. This is a great way to demonstrate research and show you are following legal news and especially news relevant to your targeted firm. Structurally it also continues to address the ‘why Gibson’ part of the question, although it could be better sign-posted.

The section could be improved in two main ways: writing and understanding how law firms actually work. The first sentence runs on too long and awkwardly uses a comma at the end. The last couple sentences aren’t true in reality: having a great private equity team doesn’t have much to do with why the firm’s regulatory/real estate/restructuring teams are top-tier, and it’s also not totally clear as to why that fact gives its private equity team “a competitive advantage against other firms”.]

Gibson Dunn’s small trainee intake of 8 would provide me with greater opportunity for on-the-job training and responsibility, client exposure and the opportunity to develop strong relationships with other trainees in my cohort. Sharing an office with a partner or senior associate would also provide me with direct access to senior lawyer mentorship. The firm’s unique provision of client development and professional development allowances will also immensely facilitate the progression of my legal career. All these factors indicate to me that the firm has a committed long-term plan in investing in its employees. This fits in especially well with my goal of being a well-rounded, world-class lawyer.

[Feedback:  This section shows more research into Gibson’s training (intake size; office sharing; professional development). These are worth mentioning and they are expressed convincingly and the candidate is really showing his merit on the ‘why Gibson’ aspect. This is also the best paragraph so far in terms of writing.]

As a ‘Pathways to Law’ mentor, I have developed my interpersonal skills through my work with mentees from different backgrounds with varying needs. The ability to communicate with a diverse range of colleagues and clients is vital for Gibson Dunn lawyers, particularly given that the completer cross-border transactions across its 20 global offices. Problem-solving, and providing practical and commercially sound solutions to client’s issues form an important aspect of a commercial lawyer’s role. As the current elected [redacted] African-Caribbean Society Sponsorship Officer, aside from raising £3550 in four months, I took the initiative to create a ‘Sponsor Guide’ which includes sponsor firm schemes and careers guidance to tackle the society’s members’ lack of awareness of sponsor opportunities. The Guide increased member applications for sponsor opportunities and has been described as ‘the best resource for first-year students.’

[Feedback: The paragraph’s initial few sentences are structured well: it begins with the candidate’s experience with diversity and what he gained from it -> why this skill is important -> why it is relevant to Gibson. It then uses similarly good structure to begin the next section on why problem solving is important, and how the candidate has demonstrated such abilities.

The diversity part of the paragraph is stronger than the problem solving element, as it focuses better on why and how diversity is important and what the candidate brings to Gibson. The sponsorship example identifies problem solving as the relevant skill, but producing a guide to help students become more aware of sponsor opportunities feels like a weak example. The sentence on the ‘Sponsor Guide’ itself is also too long and should be split into two. The biggest issue is the typo at “that the completer cross-border…” which should instead be “that they complete cross-border…”. And as a general pointer, it is unnecessary to describe when others have commended you or provided quotes (“best resource for first-year students”) as these can easily be faked and academic results or tangible achievements seem more concrete.]

During the 2018 summer holidays, I completed a 15-week “Islamic Law, Finance and Business Ethics” course at Harvard University in 3 weeks. I am especially proud of this achievement as I had no previous experience in this subject, but my interest and drive to succeed resulted in me achieving a 95% grade in my final research paper on the potential legal and economic consequence of Brexit on Islamic Finance in the UK. I was also the highest achieving student for A Level Economics in my school cohort in 2017. In Year 12, I won the History Academic Prize as the best student in History. In 2016, I also received a ‘commended’ award from [redacted] on my essay on whether positive discrimination should be used when appointing justices to the UK Supreme Court.

[Feedback: This paragraph is designed to answer ‘why me’ in the cover letter and succeeds in its objective. The Islamic Finance course is impressive, both in terms of time to complete the course and the high mark in the subject. The candidate also demonstrates a pattern of academic success which is impressive. The writing is better here and flows well. 

The 2016 example is a little stale, especially where the award was ‘commended’ and something more recent at university could be used instead. Where possible, try to use the active voice instead of passive (i.e. amend to “I had no previous experience in this subject but achieved a 95% grade in my final research paper due to my drive to succeed”).

Reflecting back on the cover letter, it could have employed slightly better structure to answer the question. The question wanted an explanation of: why Gibson, why you want to become a solicitor, a big personal achievement and then a list of successes. The candidate does hit all of these points - which is good - but it felt a little mushed together and could have used clearer signposting and separation to narrowly examine each point.]

I am confident that there would be no better place to begin my career as a commercial lawyer than at Gibson Dunn.

[Feedback: Nice finish - simple and strong.]

[No question prompt provided]

Gibson Dunn & Crutcher LLP

Telephone House,

2-4 Temple Avenue,

London,

EC4Y 0HB

Feedback: Unless otherwise specified by the firm, we recommend that the cover letter follows this structure:

1.      Why are you pursuing a career in commercial law?

2.      Why are you applying to Gibson Dunn (instead of other law firms)?

3.      What makes you a suitable candidate for Gibson Dunn? 

The candidate has addressed the three key questions to be answered in a cover letter and in the order we have recommended above. In your own cover letter, there is nothing inherently wrong with changing the order, but it would flow more logically to follow the suggested sequence above. You should start out by explaining your big-picture motivations for commercial law, before ‘zooming in’ on your specific and detailed interest in Gibson Dunn.

Points to note:

1.      Unless instructed otherwise, vacation scheme applications are sent online and the candidate does not need to include the address of the firm. This helps in getting straight to the point and saving word count.

2.      We recommend writing your cover letter on a single A4 page to be more succinct (without compromising the quality of your writing).

3.      The candidate could have used clearer and more consistent formatting to aid the recruiter’s comprehension. For instance, the candidate could have  used the “justify text” function to align and centre the text. This formatting would have made the candidate’s writing easier to read and would have left a better overall impression on the recruiter.

Dear Sarah Harte and Mille Ingram,

I am writing to you regarding my application to the Gibson Dunn 2023 Summer Vacation  Scheme.

Feedback:  This is an effective introduction as it makes the purpose of the cover letter immediately clear to recruiters. The candidate could have also included some very brief background information (e.g. “I am a penultimate-year law student at the University of [X]”), so long as it is not already mentioned elsewhere in your application.

I am intrigued by commercial law, primarily because of my curiosity to understand how  businesses grow, generate profits, and adapt to a continually changing regulatory climate.  My interest in a career in commercial law stems from its dual-faceted nature. As well as  expanding my legal knowledge, I will also be able to apply my theoretical knowledge in a  practical setting to assist clients in achieving tangible outcomes. My attraction to the career  was solidified after participating in my Sixth Form commercial law workshop about M&A,  where I identified potential liabilities which could increase the risk involved in the  acquisition of the target company.

Feedback:  The candidate makes it immediately clear from the outset that this paragraph is to explain their motivation for a career in commercial law. Note how the candidate gets straight to the point in identifying their key motivation without wasting any word count. The candidate first explains that their interest in commercial law stems from their curiosity about how businesses grow and earn, and the changing regulatory climate. In doing so, the candidate attempts to address the “commercial” tilt of the overarching purpose of this paragraph. The candidate further explained that a career in commercial law would allow them to expand and apply their legal knowledge, and that their interest in commercial law was solidified after attending a workshop. The candidate showcased their eagerness in acquiring and applying legal knowledge, which is appealing to recruiters – it demonstrates that the candidate has thought seriously about a career in commercial law specifically, as opposed to any other business-oriented career in the City. In this paragraph, the candidate provided a neat and clear overview of how they became interested in a career in commercial law.

We would also add that the candidate does well to tie in their unique personal experiences. The candidate cites and explains the Sixth Form commercial law workshop as a key piece of evidence justifying their interest in commercial law. While there’s scope for the candidate to be even more specific and detailed here, this is nonetheless a good start.

However, this paragraph has the following weaknesses:

1.      The candidate listed many reasons for their motivation to pursue a career in commercial law, but they did not explain or elaborate on each of them. For example, why or how did the candidate become curious in how businesses grow and generate profits, and how does this relate to a career in commercial law? How does the candidate’s curiosity about the way businesses grow and generate profits motivate them to pursue a career in commercial law instead of other professions? The candidate’s interest in the way business generate profits does not only apply to commercial law. It is equally applicable to other careers in the City (e.g. consultancy). The candidate should have placed more emphasis on specifically what appeals to them about commercial law.

2.      The candidate attempted to show an understanding of commercial law but again, lacks sufficient explanation. For example, what does the candidate mean by the “dual-faceted nature” of commercial law? And why did the dual-faceted nature of commercial law capture the candidate’s interest?

3.      The last sentence does not logically flow. How did identifying the said potential liabilities solidify their interest in pursuing a career in commercial law? It seems to be an attempt to show that the candidate has some knowledge in M&A but it does not provide sufficient clarity or logical flow. As the candidate would likely have mentioned the workshop in their CV, it is not recommended to attempt to show M&A knowledge here in a very brief manner, which diverts attention and weakens the logical flow in your first substantial paragraph, important for the impression of recruiters.

I am attracted to a career as a solicitor at Gibson Dunn for three reasons. Firstly, I have a  keen interest in Commercial Litigation, particularly in how the Commercial Litigation  landscape may change in 2023 due to the rise of class actions in Europe as a result of the EU  Directive 2020/1828. I am positive that Gibson Dunn’s prominence and expertise in  Commercial Litigation will expose me to the cutting-edge issues in this area as well as  provide me with the exclusive opportunity to develop legal expertise from the best lawyers  in the field. 

Feedback: The candidate does well to state their point from the outset, clearly informing recruiters that the following three paragraphs of the cover letter will address why the candidate is applying to Gibson Dunn. The candidate demonstrates thorough research about Gibson Dunn and commercial litigation, showing an awareness of the evolving commercial litigation landscape and the reasons behind it. This paragraph concludes effectively, drawing a link between Gibson Dunn’s prominence and expertise in commercial litigation and its appeal to the candidate.

That said, the candidate doesn’t fully explain their interest in commercial litigation. While the candidate describes some recent developments in EU law, they never explain (1) how that example is relevant to Gibson Dunn nor (2) why they found that example interesting. The candidate also does not explain what makes Gibson Dunn’s litigation/disputes practice unique nor why these features ultimately brought the candidate to the firm. In your own writing, you should structure your writing in the PEEL format (point, evidence, explanation, link). If you identify a specific and unique feature of Gibson Dunn’s disputes practice from the outset (before explaining your interest fully by using a unique personal example), then you will avoid the issues encountered by this candidate.

Secondly, I am interested in Gibson Dunn’s strategic growth with the recent additions to the  Private Equity M&A Team and the new IP/Data Protection Team in its London Office. This  has allowed Gibson Dunn to retain its’ position as a legal powerhouse in Disputes and to  capitalise on the likely increase of European M&A activity through the increase in distressed  assets and undervalued targets coming onto the market. Gibson Dunn is well positioned to  assist clients navigate the challenges currently surrounding Corporate/M&A activity, such as  the rise of protectionism, ESG pressures and inflationary growth. I am keen to work at  Gibson Dunn because it seeks to support its clients’ transactional needs in rapidly growing  sectors.

Feedback: Once again, the candidate effectively states their point from the outset, which is good. They follow a clear structure, explaining how Gibson Dunn’s recent strategic moves have motivated their application. The candidate demonstrates an awareness of the firm’s recent developments and strategic positioning. This approach highlights the candidate’s interest in the firm and shows their understanding of the firm’s direction and challenges in the market.

The candidate can improve by explaining how their skills or experience align with the firm’s strategic directions, making them a good addition to the firm as well. For instance, they could illustrate how previous experiences enable them to support clients’ transactional needs in rapidly growing sectors.

The candidate should also avoid any grammatical errors such as the incorrect use of apostrophe in “its’”. It might seem obvious, but it’s extremely important for you to go over your applications with a fine-toothed comb. It’s worth printing off your applications, reading them slowly out loud, and/or getting someone else to proofread them. This will minimise the risk of typos and therefore convince the recruiter you have the attention to detail needed to succeed at a high-performance commercial law firm.

Finally, following my conversations with [redacted name of trainee], a current trainee, I was impressed by  the high level of responsibility trainees can take on as this assured me that my development  would not be stunted by outdated perceptions of trainee capabilities.

My extra-curricular activities have helped me develop skills that will enable me to serve  Gibson Dunn well as a trainee. As a member of the debate team, I have presented key  evidence to support my team’s argument. This has improved my communication skills, as a  strong written and verbal delivery is required to argue successfully. As a trainee, this will  prove useful when summarising cases, and producing drafts. Occasionally, it has been  necessary for me to work up to five extra hours the night before a debate in order to fully  prepare for it, and this has greatly improved my tenacity as I have learnt how to remain  motivated under pressure.

Feedback:  The paragraph effectively highlights the candidate’s motivation to apply to Gibson Dunn is the high level of responsibility afforded to trainees and showcased the candidate’s suitability for the role because of their strong communication skills. The candidate has linked their extracurricular activities, particularly their involvement in the debate team, to the skills necessary for a trainee at Gibson Dunn. Specifically, the candidate’s involvement in the debate team is adeptly linked to the essential skills required for a trainee. Their mention of working additional hours to prepare for debates illustrates a strong commitment and resilience, qualities that are highly valued in the demanding environment of a firm like Gibson Dunn.

However, the paragraph’s weaknesses are as follows:

1.      The paragraph could benefit from a more focused approach. It would be more impactful to separate the discussion of motivation and suitability into two different paragraphs to allow the two distinct points to be explained thoroughly and distinctly. This also provides clarity to recruiters.

2.      The candidate may also wish to provide a more specific example of a challenging moment from their debate experiences that mirrors a complex legal scenario they might face at Gibson Dunn.

Furthermore, if the conversation with the trainee occurred during a specific event such as Gibson Dunn Open Day, it would be great to mention as well. This detail could help illustrate the candidate’s proactive engagement with the firm.

Alongside revising for my A Levels, I worked as a tutor, mentored a GCSE student, and  played sports. It was a great feeling to know that I successfully delivered on all the projects I  was involved in by prioritising and managing my time effectively. My strong time  management and organisational skills are reflected by my A Level Grades, my ability to help  20 of my students’ progress by an average of 25% in their numeracy tests and helping my  mentee to achieve 8’s in her GCSE exams. As a trainee, these skills will prove useful as I will  be able to manage multiple matters simultaneously to support my team and meet client  demands.

Feedback:  This paragraph effectively highlights that the candidate’s motivation to apply to Gibson Dunn is the high level of responsibility afforded to trainees and showcases the candidate’s suitability for the role due to their strong communication skills. The candidate has linked their extracurricular activities, particularly their involvement in the debate team, to the skills necessary for a trainee at Gibson Dunn. Specifically, the candidate’s involvement in the debate team is adeptly linked to the essential skills required for a trainee. Their mention of working additional hours to prepare for debates illustrates strong commitment and resilience, qualities that are valued in the demanding environment of a firm like Gibson Dunn.

However, the paragraph can be improved in the following regards:

1. The paragraph could benefit from a more focused approach. It would be more impactful to separate the discussion of motivation and suitability into two different paragraphs to allow the two distinct points to be explained thoroughly and distinctly. This also provides clarity to recruiters.

2. The candidate should also provide a more specific example of a challenging moment from their debate experiences that mirrors a complex legal scenario they might face at Gibson Dunn. Where possible, you should quantify your achievements with specific facts and details so that the recruiter can visualise your skills and abilities.

Furthermore, if the conversation with the trainee occurred during a specific event such as Gibson Dunn Open Day, it would be great to mention as well. This detail could help illustrate the candidate’s proactive engagement with the firm.

Thank you for considering my application for the Gibson Dunn 2023 Summer Vacation  Scheme.

Yours Sincerely,

Feedback: This is a concise conclusion to the cover letter. "Yours sincerely" is an appropriate sign-off here, but note that the candidate does not need to capitalize "sincerely".

[No question prompt provided]

I am writing to apply for the above-captioned role, as advertised on your website. I am a penultimate year student studying Law (LLB), at University College London.

[Feedback: Slightly flat start in the first sentence and no need to state your degree/university (as included in your accompanying CV) but otherwise fine.]

I initially decided to pursue a legal career while I was at school, mainly because the industry provides varied opportunities and roles in which a person with my academic, analytical and communication potential and skills could successfully apply them to resolve challenging issues in a dynamic, real life context. Since then, I have enjoyed a series of fantastic legal internship experiences and I am drawn to the dynamism and opportunity for direct and holistic client engagement at every stage of clients’ business life cycle that pursuing a career as a commercial solicitor would offer. I particularly enjoyed shadowing the in-house legal team at the Private Equity (PE) firm, [redacted]. I learnt about the versatility and huge potential of PE as a tool for achieving not just investors’ commercial objectives particularly within challenging markets but also by its potential impact as a tool for economic development. This subsequently prompted me to join the organising committee for the UCL Alternative Investments Conference, the largest annual student conference in the world focused on PE, hedge funds, and venture capital. It is my interest in, and exposure to PE that has drawn me to pursue a career at Goodwin Procter. The firm’s global expertise in private equity is exemplified by the Legal 500 UK’s recognition of the firm for its excellence in private equity in 2017 and Merger Market’s recognition of the firm as a Top 2 Private Equity Legal Advisor for Global by deal count in Q1-Q3 2018. Whilst the London office’s PE practice only started in 2015, it is already seen as an excellent and trustworthy PE legal adviser and has advised leading companies such as Waterstones, Bridgepoint and Mergermarket (now known as Acuris). A vacation scheme at Goodwin thus excites me as it would be a privilege to work in an environment where exceptional results are consistently achieved.

[Feedback:  This paragraph starts with two long and averagely worded sentences but improves dramatically. The use of “fantastic” is slightly hyperbolic as well. The candidate demonstrates a keen interest in commercial law with relevant legal and business experience, which is quite impressive. We normally recommend that you split up “why law / why the firm / why me” into three distinct paragraphs but the candidate includes Goodwin Proctor details in this paragraph as well. While the research is relevant and utilised well (and shows genuine interest in the firn), it could be further improved as a separate paragraph with this paragraph could do with another sentence on his interest in law. Slightly strange to discuss PE in detail and then mention Waterstones and Mergermarket (they are companies and not private equity firms, unlike Bridgepoint which is in fact a private equity firm).]

My conversation with Kristina Wahidullah, an associate at the firm further heightened my excitement about the prospect of working at Goodwin, as she gave me an insight into the firm’s work and culture. To elaborate, she highlighted the firm’s supportiveness of its lawyers through continuous training sessions during the training contract and weekly corporate training session for associates. The firm’s small trainee intake of 6 would also provide me with multiple long-term career benefits as it would give me more responsibility, client exposure and the opportunity to develop a strong relationship with the other trainees in my intake, as well as being mentored by senior lawyers at the firm. I am particularly interested in transactional work and as such Goodwin’s training programme which is mainly focused on that will allow me to focus on this kind of work whilst still being exposed to new exciting industries such as real estate, life sciences and technology in a way which training programmes at other law firms will not. This is a very exciting time to join Goodwin, during this period of expansion and profitable growth in London as the firm strives to increase its industry focus in areas such as oil and gas, private equity, and financial institutions. The arrival of leading private equity lawyers from KMW such as Michael Halford and Ajay Pathak as well as the London office’s 132% year-over-year headcount increase further indicates the firm’s rapid growth in London. I would value the opportunity to be part of the firm’s expansion in London, as this would provide me with further exposure to more varied work and clients.

[Feedback:  This section is the strongest of the entire application and will have helped the applicant greatly. It demonstrates (a) the candidate made an effort to speak to an associate at the firm to learn, (b) ‘name dropping’ without sounding artificial, (c) deep research into the training structure and seat offering and (d) a unique focus on the London office specifically and future growth. It is a superb paragraph. It could be improved by removing unnecessary/unclear language (e.g. “to elaborate”, “mainly focused on that will allow me to focus on”) and changing a few comma placements to shorten sentences.)]

My previous experiences have enabled me to develop multiple skills which I believe will ensure that I am an excellent vacation schemer and future Goodwin Procter trainee. My intellectual curiosity and hard work ethic are evidenced by my completion of a 15-week Islamic Law, Finance and Business Ethics course at Harvard University in 3 weeks during the summer holidays. I had no previous experience in this subject but my interest and drive to succeed resulted in me achieving a 95% grade in my final research paper. Likewise, in 2016, I also received a ‘commended’ essay award from [redacted] on whether positive discrimination should be used when appointing justices to the UK Supreme Court. My commitment to achieving consistent excellence is illustrated by my provision of researched client-specific advice to walk-in clients at Toynbee Advice Centre, who have commended me on my ability to provide them with good advice. I have undertaken multiple mentoring roles which have enabled me to develop my interpersonal skills, as well as my ability and determination to always provide the best advice and support to people whom I assist. For instance, I mentored a year 11 student who had been left with disabilities following a car accident. My co-mentor and I provided our mentee with tailored revision material and wellbeing support in order to ensure that she was able to pass her required GCSEs, as well as providing motivation for her to fulfil her aspiration to be a chef. As well as being awarded a ‘distinction’ for my LAMDA Grade 8 Drama Exams, I am a member of the ‘Poet in the City’ organization and a writer for the UCL Lacuna Literary Magazine. This has developed my writing skills and understanding of various poetry forms and has provided me with the skills to write my first poetry anthology which I plan on publishing online next year.

[Feedback:  This section is slightly weaker than the previous one. While there are many impressive achievements here, it would be better to include less details but expand upon each and reveal what the candidate learned / gained from each experience. Honing in on specific examples tends to look better than listing off accolades. The Harvard example could have alternatively been used in the first “why law” paragraph. The candidate also repeats the word “commended” and the essay achievement could probably be deleted and instead using those words to build out the legal advice clinic role which is quite relevant. Grade 8 Drama Exam awards also seem a little dated.]

I believe that there would be no better place to begin my career and develop as a commercial lawyer than at Goodwin Procter.

Thank you very much for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback: Good ending as well - succinct and clear.]

Please type your cover letter below to be read by the Graduate Recruitment Manager. You do not need to address it to a person or to include your/our address.

I am interested in pursuing a career in commercial law due to both the intellectual stimulation and the personable aspect of the profession. I am also intrigued how the role of a commercial lawyer has changed to include one of a business advisor. During my work experience at [redacted law firm], I was tasked with understanding factors that may impact the firm or its clients’ sectors. For instance, I researched the Payment Protection Insurance deadline which was soon approaching, so the firm could advise clients accordingly.

[Feedback: This paragraph has a clear topic sentence, which succinctly identifies the candidate’s motivations for pursuing a career in commercial law. However, the rest of the paragraph appears to be a set of miscellaneous points, none of which serves to develop the topic sentence. As a result, it remains unclear why the candidate thinks a career in commercial law is intellectually stimulating or “personable” and why these aspects are important to them. As far as possible, we would recommend following a PEEL (point, evidence, explanation, link)/ AL (analysis, link) structure for your paragraphs in order to avoid underdeveloped points.

Be mindful of semantics. The candidate uses the word “personable” (“amiable”, “friendly”, “pleasant”, etc.) to describe the profession, a word which is typically used to describe individuals. Although the candidate does not develop this point further, we are inclined to believe that they meant to describe the profession as “client-orientated” or “client-facing”. If you would like to double-check the meaning of a certain word in a quick and efficient way, we would recommend that you select said word, right-click it, and then hover your cursor over “Synonyms” in MS Word or “Look Up” in Pages.

Nevertheless, the candidate’s point about the dual role of commercial lawyers (i.e., as legal advisers and business advisers) showcases a sophisticated understanding of the profession and, therefore, stands out. Rather than expressing an abstract fascination with said role, the candidate draws on their own work experience to substantiate their point, which renders it more authentic and persuasive. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate would have doubled down on why it is important for lawyers to understand their clients’ business and the socio-economic context in which they operate (e.g., because it enables them to offer tailored, targeted advice).

After speaking to trainees from Jones Day at the SEO exclusive Insight Day at the firm, I am confident that the firm’s synergy between training, quality of work and high responsibility means I will maximise my potential within Jones Day's collegial atmosphere. The non-rotational training contract feeds my proactive personality, demonstrated through my various responsibilities such as volunteering and writing for my University Legal Clinic. My problem-based learning University course means that I am well equipped for the cross-practice work because I regularly unpick multi-faceted legal problems.

[Feedback: The first sentence leaves much to be desired in terms of both structure and content. It is long-winded and convoluted, which makes it difficult to follow. As a rule of thumb, keep your sentences under 25 words to increase readability. Although it contains the right buzzwords/ catchphrases (e.g., “synergy”, “collegial atmosphere”), the sentence does not add much value to the overall answer. It is unclear how “the firm’s synergy” will help the candidate maximise their potential and why the firm’s collegial atmosphere is relevant in this regard. The candidate should have chosen one aspect, which would have allowed them to fully develop their point within the tight word count. Nonetheless, citing interactions with trainees (or any other firm representatives) to substantiate your claims/ beliefs about a firm is generally good practice.

The candidate’s discussion of the firm’s non-rotational training contract is solid. Not only do they correctly identify one of the firm’s unique selling points (USPs), but they also explain why it is attractive to them and support their claims with personal examples. As far as possible, we would recommend that you evidence any claims of personal skills or competencies with personal examples to lend more credibility to your answers.

My work experience at [redacted firm] exposed me to some litigation cases, which spiked my interest in that area, and I developed an understanding of the importance of attention to detail. The focus placed on the intricacies in litigation fascinates me and so Jones Day is an obvious choice with its market-leading litigation practice.

[Feedback: The candidate correctly identifies one of Jones Day’s strengths (i.e., its “market-leading litigation practice”). However, they do not elaborate any further. As a result, the answer comes across as generic and unpersuasive. One could easily replace “Jones Day” with “Herbert Smith Freehills” and the sentence would still hold true. The candidate could have referenced any relevant rankings, awards, or cases to make their answer more specific. Given the tight word count, they could have also dropped this point entirely in order to delve deeper into the points made in the paragraphs above.

On a different note, we would strongly advise against using colloquialisms in your answers (e.g., “and so”, “obvious choice”).

Jones Day's fostering of a true partnership and international mobility enforces its “One Firm Worldwide” philosophy, also shown through its week-long induction in Washington, a true reflection of its widespread values. This philosophy allows Jones Day to deliver a seamless service to clients by collaborating with its international office network. My passion for travelling instils a global appreciation and so I am drawn to the international scope of Jones Day's transnational work.

[Feedback: This paragraph showcases the candidate’s extensive research into the firm. What makes it particularly effective is the candidate’s discussion of the connection between Jones Day’s “One Firm Worldwide” philosophy and client service. Whenever you highlight a firm’s USP, it is good practice to reflect on how said USP impacts client service and/ or differentiates the firm from competitors. We would have improved some of the sentence structures to increase readability, but this is a relatively minor point.

Nevertheless, the link drawn by the candidate between themselves and Jones Day’s “One Firm Worldwide” philosophy is weak. A passion for travelling should not serve to substantiate your motivation for applying to law firms with extensive international outreach. If you are applying to Jones Day’s London office, you will be expected to spend most of your time in said office. You will generally travel to other offices on an ad-hoc basis, depending on the firm’s business needs. You will, however, interact with people based in other countries on a regular basis because Jones Day undertakes a great deal of cross-border work (e.g., a company in X country wants to buy a company in Y country). Not only do you get exposure to different perspectives and cultures, but you also get to learn about different legal systems around the world. Why might you find that beneficial/ valuable/ attractive?

Avoid redundancies (e.g., “international scope of [the] transnational work”) – in an answer constrained by a tight word count such as this one, every single word matters.

Please type your cover letter below to be read by the Graduate Recruitment Manager. You do not need to address it to a person or to include your/our address.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply to Jones Day’s Summer Vacation Scheme 2021.

[Feedback: Given the instructions in the prompt and the tight word count, the candidate could have omitted the typical cover letter formalities (e.g., the salutation, the closing, the signature, etc.).

My interest in commercial law was stimulated by an acquisition case study that I took part in at LSE-PKU’s (Peking University) summer school during my gap year. I enjoyed understanding the relationship between the commercial context of the case and the legal issues at stake.

[Feedback: Although this paragraph has an effective topic sentence, it does not serve to elucidate the candidate’s motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law. Given the tight word count, we would have succinctly identified 2-3 concrete reasons for pursuing said career (e.g., the nature of the work, the pressurised environment, international mobility, etc.), which we would have tied to personal insights. Understanding the relationship between the law and commerce may be a necessary condition for pursuing a career in commercial law, but it is not a sufficient one.

Jones Day’s distinctive non-rotational training programme attracts me as it will allows me to work across all departments during my training contract. Attending multiple law firms’ open days, I spoke with different trainees who worked across a wide range of interesting matters. This helped me realise that instead of pigeonholing myself into any particular type of work, I should focus on gaining exposure to various responsibilities to learn where my interest truly lies. Speaking to one of the firm’s trainees at LSE Law Fair, I can envision that one needs to be proactive and resilient in order to excel in the firm’s unique training programme.

[Feedback: Not only does the candidate correctly identify one of the firm’s USPs, but they also explain why said USP resonates with them. It goes without saying that sharing personal insights lends credibility to your answers and renders them more persuasive. In this regard, citing open days and interactions with trainees (or any other firm representative) is generally good practice. To take this answer to the next level, the candidate would have provided more detail regarding their discussion with the Jones Day trainee in order to justify their claim that “one needs to be proactive and resilient in order to excel in the firm’s unique training programme”. The reader should not be left guessing (or even inferring) why it is that the firm’s non-rotational training contract requires those specific qualities.

Note: typo at “it will allows me”.

Jones Day’s self-starting ethos is one that appeals to me. When my legal internship was cancelled due to Covid-19, I cold-emailed multiple law firms and networked with lawyers to secure another legal internship. During the legal internship, I actively sought out responsibilities and took on additional work reviewing, proofreading, and commenting on conflict of interest compliance documents. My resilience character was demonstrated when I passed the PADI Open Water Diver course this summer despite my fear of water caused by a past near-drowning experience. Albeit I was haunted by my traumatic memories when my coach wanted to replicate the oxygen depletion circumstances under the sea, but I persisted and eventually passed the test.

[Feedback: As far as possible, we would recommend following the CAR (context, action, result) structure when writing competency-related answers. The example cited by the candidate to demonstrate their proactivity roughly follows this structure. Nevertheless, an emphasis on how they eventually secured another legal internship would have been warranted. The example cited by the candidate to demonstrate their resilience stands out as unique, which is definitely a plus. However, it would have benefitted from an explanation as to how the candidate managed to persist and pass the test despite their fear of water. In other words, the “A” in CAR is a bit lacklustre in the case of both examples.

Note: typo at “my resilience character”, improper use of “albeit”.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

[redacted name]

[Feedback: Echoing the first comment, the closing formalities could have been omitted. 

Please type your cover letter below to be read by the Graduate Recruitment Manager. You do not need to address it to a person or to include your/our address.

There are three reasons why I am extremely keen to pursue a Training Contract at Jones Day.

[Feedback: This is an effective start because it enables the reader to anticipate the structure of the cover letter. The candidate also does well to signpost throughout the cover letter. Signposting helps guide the reader through the content of a piece of writing, rendering it easy to follow and engaging.  

Firstly, as Partner Ms Harriet mentioned, it is a one-firm partnership which makes it a consensus-driven organization across the globe. This homogenous culture is crucial for the firm’s international strategy. Having interned in a plethora of law firms across Singapore, India, and the UK, I have been exposed to the court processes in various jurisdictions, which puts me in a conducive position to work at a truly global law firm like Jones Day.

[Feedback:  When citing interactions with firm representatives, you should mention the context in which they happened. Not only does this lend credibility to your answer, but it also suggests that you are being genuine, as opposed to name-dropping just for the sake of it (e.g., “as Partner Ms Harriet mentioned at X event”).

Although they are on the right track, the candidate confuses Jones Day’s “One Firm Worldwide” philosophy with the firm’s claim that it operates as a true partnership. Jones Day presents the latter as a necessary condition for the former. They also fail to explain why it is that the firm’s “homogenous culture” is crucial for its international strategy (i.e., because it enables Jones Day to deliver seamless client service across borders). Remember to not only read the firm’s website and marketing materials carefully but to also reflect on why certain aspects are emphasised (ask yourself e.g., “do they have an impact on client service?” or “do they give the firm a competitive edge within the legal market?”).

Nevertheless, the candidate does well to link their point about the firm back to themselves. In doing so, they cleverly showcase their impressive legal work experience.

Secondly, the cutting-edge work is a huge draw. Juliette’s trainee work involving directly working in International Arbitration proceedings showcase the massive responsibility we shoulder from the get-go. Besides, the sheer scale of the work is evident from the firm having done the largest number of M&A deals for any law firm, recently advising Marathon Petroleum on a $23.3 billion acquisition. Being the president of 4 societies while managing 3 jobs alongside my law degree at Oxford, I have what it takes to succeed at innovative work while managing multiple responsibilities as a trainee at Jones Day.

[Feedback:  While it contains the right ideas about the firm’s work and training, this paragraph reads like a miscellaneous collection of underdeveloped points. It is unclear why the candidate believes the firm’s work to be “cutting-edge” and, crucially, why that aspect appeals to them. The latter comment applies to the candidate’s point about the high degree of individual responsibility enjoyed by trainees, as well as their point about the scale of the firm’s work. Sharing personal insights would have made the answer more persuasive and authentic, especially since most (if not all) US law firms undertake non-commoditised work and give their trainees plenty of individual responsibility. Simply mentioning a deal that the firm has worked on (as the candidate does in this case) might make your answer less generic, but it will not add much value to your answer because it is easily accessible information. Only mention deals or cases if you have something meaningful to say about them (e.g., tie them to a wider market trend that interests you).

Although the last sentence does demonstrate the candidate’s ability to manage concurrent responsibilities, it does not demonstrate their potential to “succeed at innovative work”. Avoid shoehorning multiple competencies into the same example because, more often than not, the final product will not make sense.

Note: subject-verb disagreement at “Juliette’s trainee work […] showcase”.

Thirdly, the firm's culture embraces the entrepreneurial spirit. At 18, I founded my own education start-up in Singapore, and thus have always resonated with the go-getting spirit that permeates Jones Day. Trainee Sophie shared that the small trainee intake also meant that we had to actively seek opportunities to learn from the seniors at the firm. I am acutely aware of the rigorous challenges and expectations of trainees and am determined to rise to the challenge.

[Feedback: The candidate showcases an impressive personal achievement by linking it back to a point about the firm. This answer would have benefitted from a more detailed discussion about said achievement, and from an explanation as to why learning from seniors is beneficial and/or attractive to the candidate. To this end, the last sentence could have been omitted because it is generic and adds little value to the overall answer.

The candidate uses first names for trainees (e.g. “Juliette” and “Trainee Sophie”) but second names for partners (e.g. “Partner Ms Harriet”).  This implies that there is a difference in the respect afforded to trainees and partners, which is not likely to go down well in any modern firm.  It’s overly informal to refer to firm employees (of any level) by their first name in a formal document like a cover letter.

Thus, in a nutshell, I strongly resonate with the unified structure, cutting-edge work, and entrepreneurial culture of Jones Day and would be grateful for the opportunity to attend an interview for which I am available at your convenience.

[Feedback: The candidate concludes by succinctly revisiting the reasons behind their application. Not only does this provide the reader with a sense of closure, but it also leaves the reader with the impression that the candidate is clear and confident about their motivations. Nevertheless, we would strongly advise against stating your wish to be invited to interview/ your availability to interview – it is an antiquated practice and does not add anything to your application.

Please use the space below if you wish to add a covering letter to your application form.

Dear Ms Atherton,

I am applying for the legal work placement available at K&L Gates in July 2021 as I believe I am suitable for such an opportunity, as proven by my answers on the application form.

Feedback: The candidate has decided to write a 34-word introductory paragraph. Generally, we recommend against writing introductions in cover letters as it is not necessary and wastes the valuable word count. The candidate has not told K&L Gates anything that they don’t already know – they are well aware that the candidate is applying for their work placement in July 2021. If you opt to write an introductory paragraph, you should succinctly outline the points you want to address and then get straight into your answer.

I am especially interested in the international arbitration practice area of K&L Gates as I am passionate about advocacy. I am mainly interested in investment treaty arbitration due to the added political component. Besides impressing by being part of the GAR 30, the firm's involvement in disputes such as the one between Spain and France after an oil spill is exactly the kind of work I would like to be doing, as it has a geopolitical aspect that excites me.

Feedback: This is an OK answer. The candidate goes into a good level of detail about K&L Gates, citing examples that tailor the candidate’s answer to the firm. Furthermore, the candidate links K&L Gates’ practice back to their own interest in advocacy and geopolitics. The main improvement point is that the candidate leaves the following underdeveloped:

1. The candidate is passionate about advocacy.

2. The oil dispute between Spain and France has geopolitical elements.

3. The candidate is excited by this geopolitical aspect.

The candidate has not elaborated on these points elsewhere in this answer. As such, the candidate could develop these further by linking them to his/her personal experiences.  Candidates should also be wary of name-dropping deals or disputes without providing substantial analysis on them. Here, the candidate names the dispute in question but does not elaborate on its geopolitical consequences, nor why these specifically appealed to the candidate.

Furthermore, the level of responsibility offered to trainees at K&L also seems to prepare them for the career ahead, with trainees facing more direct contact with senior lawyers as the intake number is low. It is crucial for me that the training that I receive at the law firm is of high quality. The open-door policy of the firm and access to comprehensive training allows for the trainees to fully understand what skills they have to develop in order to succeed as future solicitors.

Feedback: This is mostly a strong answer. The candidate identifies unique features of K&L Gates’ training contract (the small intake, the open-door policy etc.) and explains why these features have attract him/her to the firm. Improvements could be made to the following sentence:

“It is crucial for me that the training I receive at the law firm is of high quality”.

This is a generic statement that does not specifically relate to K&L Gates’ training contract. Instead, the candidate should explain why K&L Gates’ unique selling points appeal to them (i.e. why they like the small trainee intake, the direct contact with senior lawyers, and so on). This will convince recruiters that the candidate has been strategic in applying to law firms.

Also, candidates should be cautious about shortening law firm names. Here, the candidate has shortened to K&L. Some firms are fine with it – for example Allen & Overy is commonly referred to as A&O. However, other firms are not – Slaughter and May must always be spelled out in full. Always check with the firm whether it is appropriate to shorten the name. It’s safer not to.  Here, the cover letter has no word limit so the candidate does not need to abridge the name.

Finally, the vibrant organisational culture leading to a diverse working environment would suit me. This is due to my international background, having grown up in multicultural [eastern European country] and studying in the global hub of London. Thus, my time has been always spent amongst a very diverse group of people, which has become part of my DNA.

Feedback: This paragraph is marginally weaker than the previous ones, primarily because of the first sentence. The candidate states that K&L Gates has a “vibrant organizational culture” and a “diverse working environment”, but this is applicable to many law firms. Instead, the candidate should demonstrate they have researched K&L Gates’ diversity strategy specifically, and give evidence for why that has improve K&L Gates’ working environment. When writing motivational points, candidates should swap out the firm’s name for another firm’s name. If that sentence still makes sense, then the candidate’s point is not tailored well enough. Suppose the candidate had written the following:

“K&L Gates has a strong corporate practice.”

This could easily be swapped to the following:

“Slaughter and May has a strong corporate practice.”

As such, the previous sentence might not convince a recruiter of the candidate’s specific interest in that firm.

Also, candidates should be careful to use English (“organisational”) as opposed to American (“organizational”) spelling.

However, the candidate does well in explaining why diverse working environments appeal to them. They provide good reasoning that directly relates to their personal experiences and backgrounds. If the candidate elaborates just a little further on the first sentence, then this could be a strong paragraph indeed.

I believe that my positions of responsibility, academic and work experience as well as interest and activities prove that I have the necessary skillset to be able to join K&L Gates. I am thus looking forward to a response.

Yours faithfully,

[redacted name of candidate]

Feedback: This should be “Yours sincerely” because the candidate has addressed the recipient (Ms. Atherton) by name.

Please upload your CV and a cover letter. Your letter should be addressed to Graduate Recruitment and include why you want to be a lawyer, what skills you can bring to the role of a trainee solicitor, and why you are applying for the vacation scheme at Kirkland & Ellis.

 [Redacted personal information]

 October 20, 2019

 Emma Ridley Associate

Director Attorney Recruiting and Development

Kirkland & Ellis International LLP

30 St Mary Axe
 London

EC3A 8AF

United Kingdom

[Feedback: You should only include this information if you are asked to upload a cover letter as a Word document or as a PDF. If you are writing your cover letter in a text box within the application form itself, this information can be omitted.]

Dear Ms Ridley,

I am writing to apply for a 2020 summer vacation scheme at Kirkland & Ellis. I am currently in the final year of my Hispanic Studies degree at the University of Nottingham.

[Feedback: The candidate has written a decent opening to their cover letter. You should remember that the recruiter should already know most of this introductory personal information from earlier in your application form. Hence, we would advise that you make this introduction one sentence long, or two short sentences at most.

You should also note that this introduction can be used to state the way in which you are going to set about the main body of the cover letter. For example, rather than reiterating what the recruiter already knows, you may find it beneficial to write that your structure entails first addressing ‘why commercial law?’, ‘why K&E?’, and ‘why me?’]

I wish to become a commercial lawyer because I have learnt that commercial law requires an understanding of the specific business needs of clients, and the ability to develop practical solutions, applying legal expertise to specific commercial contexts. This interest was confirmed by a placement at Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer in September 2016, where I enjoyed seeing how commercial lawyers have a trusted advisory role and help businesses realise their commercial objectives, often by providing innovative solutions.

[Feedback: This paragraph aims to address the ‘why commercial law?’ aspect of the cover letter. The candidate makes a decent attempt to justify their motivation towards the career; they reference, in broad terms, what the career’s demands are and giving an example to substantiate their claims about the career. One good thing to highlight about this paragraph is the specificity employed when the candidate writes ‘a placement at Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer in September 2016’. You should try and be as specific as you can when referencing, describing, and explaining your answers. Specificity does not just make your answer more credible; it also strengthens and deepens your argumentation and analysis.

However, the paragraph could be improved. Notwithstanding the candidate’s specificity when citing their example, there is an overall lack of detail and energy in the answer. Your motivation for commercial law and your ability to articulate said motivation are paramount to the success of your application. Hence, your answers must be detailed and exhibit genuine zeal for the career.

Therefore, the candidate’s tone is the first area for improvement. The candidate’s ‘motivation’ for commercial law is communicated in a fairly passive tone. Try and avoid phrases like or similar to ‘I wish to’, ‘I have learnt’, and ‘I enjoyed seeing’. These are passive phrases that may present you as a passenger rather than a driver in your cited experiences. In lieu of the aforementioned passive phrases, try using phrases like ‘I am pursuing a career as a commercial solicitor’, ‘I deepened my understanding of’, and ‘I enjoyed participating in’, respectively.

The second area for improvement pertains to the level of detail in the candidate’s answer. The candidate describes most of what they experienced in broad, generic terms. It would have been better if the candidate cited specific events, names, dates, and other details to really flesh out their answer. This would have given the candidate more to discuss and analyse in their paragraph.

Remember, stick to a PEE/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link). This structure forces you to include specific details and employ strong argumentation which links back what you have written to the question/objective at hand. You should note that the ‘evidence’ and the ‘explanation/analysis’ points’ positions can be swapped, depending on how you want to answer the question (as illustrated in the next paragraph).]

Therefore, I am applying for a vacation scheme with Kirkland & Ellis because of the firm's market-leading reputation in the private equity industry. I have a particular interest in this sector because private equity firms acquire a variety of companies, so as a trainee, I believe I would gain experience in various industries with companies at different stages of their lifecycle. Equally, private equity transactions tend to be completed in a shorter time frame, offering a greater exposure to deals as a trainee. Furthermore, the opportunity to learn from experienced partners, such as David Higgins and Adrian Maguire, who are recognised as some of the leading practitioners in their fields greatly appeals to me. This is because, in conjunction with Kirklands smaller trainee intake, this will ensure I receive the best training available and therefore will have the best opportunity to become a successful commercial lawyer.

[Feedback: There is a lot crammed into one paragraph here; nevertheless, the candidate, for the most part follows a strong PEE/AL structure. This structure and clear argumentation is the central strength of this answer. To elucidate:

1.     The candidate’s point is: They want to work at K&E for their market-leading reputation in PE.

2.     The candidate explains their point: They like PE as they will get opportunities to work with companies at different stages of their lifecycle and PE deals are done over a shorter time frame which means they will have increased exposure to deals as a trainee.

3.     The candidate evidences their point: They cite leading PE lawyers from K&E.

4.     The candidate links back to their point and their overarching motivation to train and work at firm: Such leading PE lawyers combined with K&E’s small trainee intake will mean that they will receive the best training and have the best chance at being a successful lawyer.

Although the candidate has employed a strong structure, there are a few points of improvement. The first is easily rectifiable, however, it is of significant importance. The candidate has missed the requisite apostrophe when they wrote ‘with Kirklands smaller’. Though this is a minor grammatical error, it is important to note that such errors can cause your applications to be immediately rejected. The success of this application indicates that this did not happen in this instance; however, it can and does happen. Hence, make sure to always proofread your work before submission, as typographical errors can hold back an otherwise successful application.

The second point of improvement pertains to development. Though the candidate’s answer’s structure is good, and the candidate has employed some detail, the answer comes across as a little underdeveloped. The candidate has slight gaps in their argumentation which could be easily remedied with a few sentences. For example, the candidate cites that they would have greater exposure to deals because PE work entails interacting with clients at different stages of their businesses’ lifecycles. However, they do not explain why that is the case.

At the end of each sentence, always try to ask yourself ‘why is that the case?’ – if that question makes sense and you have not answered it in your answer, that is an indicator you will need to write another sentence to further substantiate your answer. You should repeat that process until you are sufficiently confident that your answer is fully evidenced and explained.]

My non-law work experience has also been helpful in developing the skills that will be useful in a career as a City solicitor. This was particularly so at Octagon last summer where, as a member of the sports agency department, I gained many useful insights from assisting clients with their enquiries, eliciting information from potential sponsors and researching possible clients. I learned the importance of clear communication and how to be both efficient and diplomatic while handling a number of different tasks at the same time.

[Feedback: The candidate now pivots their answer towards answering the ‘why me?’ aspect of the cover letter. In this paragraph, the candidate has correctly identified several competencies that law firms are looking for, including effective oral and written communication, and organisation. The candidate has also attempted to use their non-law work experience to evidence such competencies. We would always recommend using your non-law experiences to their fullest. Although, at first blush, it may seem inappropriate to mention non-law work experiences in an application to train at a law firm, non-legal experiences help to demonstrate your all-rounded nature and provide crucial evidence of your competencies, such as teamwork, determination, and organisation.

To improve this paragraph, the candidate would have needed to develop their answer and include additional details. For example, it would have been good to read more about what exactly the candidate did at Octagon – the candidate merely mentions that they researched possible clients but provides no detail as to how they did so. Though these details may seem insignificant, such details are the key to providing actual evidence that you possess the qualities that you claim to have. Furthermore, using a PEE/AL structure would immediately improve the answer’s development, as the candidate would be forced to explain and develop the connection between their point and their work experience.]

Moreover, by meeting representatives of Kirkland & Ellis at the University of Nottingham Law Fair, I learned that having good communication and teamwork skills are vital to be a successful lawyer at the firm. I demonstrated these skills when I was Deputy Head Boy at St George's College, Weybridge. For instance, I organised a charity concert, Six Live to raise money for schools in the Congo. I coordinated with the other three school captains in finding a venue, designing the set and sourcing the musical acts. Moreover, I negotiated with a local sound equipment company for the use of their technical equipment which they agreed to hire out to us for no charge. As a result, we raised over £2000 for schools in the Congo, meaning the concert was the most successful charity concert in the school's history. This event, and others like it, were very helpful for my personal development as I became more confident in my ability as an effective negotiator and as an organiser, skills which are crucial to be a successful lawyer at Kirkland & Ellis.

[Feedback: This paragraph is almost certainly the strongest in the cover letter. The candidate employs a clear PEE/AL structure and includes a good level of detail and development in their answer. What is especially good to see is the mention of facts and figures. Where possible, always try to quantify and qualify your achievements to put your answer into context and imbue it with credibility. In this case, the candidate has cited that the concert they organised raised £2,000 which was the most that a charity concert had ever raised at their school – this is a fantastic achievement and the importance of it has been communicated very well.

There are only two minor points of improvement. The first, is that the candidate previously wrote ‘learnt’, however, in this paragraph, they have written ‘learned’. You should remember to keep your spelling consistent – both spellings are correct; however, it is always best to stick to one.

The second point of improvement is with regard to the last sentence of the paragraph. This is a little weaker than the rest of the answer. The candidate writes ‘This event, and others like it’ – this is not great as it tries to imply that the candidate has organised other events but does not have the energy to discuss them further in their answer. Try to avoid phrases which half-heartedly imply that you have done more than you have written about in your answer. It would have been better if the candidate had written this, and then said, ‘for example, I also organised [insert names of events and years here]’.

Furthermore, rather than writing ‘skills which are crucial to be a successful lawyer at Kirkland & Ellis’, it would have been better if the candidate was a little more specific. The candidate could have pulled out a few key roles or tasks that a trainee might be expected to do whilst at K&E and linked their cited competencies to the effective fulfilment of those tasks. This would have demonstrated an awareness of not only the competencies that K&E demands of its lawyers but also an awareness of why those competencies are important and what a K&E trainee actually does.]

These experiences typify my determination to not give up on my aspirations. I am looking to bring this ambition for collegial success to Kirkland & Ellis recognising that the firm focuses on this as a core principle.

[Feedback: This section, whilst relatively unobjectionable, is a little overzealous. Although the candidate does mention some more competencies and link it to the firm, it would have been better to see this kind of explanation and ‘link’ integrated in their previous paragraphs.

I have enclosed a CV highlighting my education and work experience and look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback: Similarly, it is not necessary to mention that you have enclosed your ‘CV highlighting my education and work experience’. It would be sufficient for you to write, ‘Thank you very much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you’.]

Yours sincerely,

[Redacted name]

Cover letter

Feedback: Unless the firm provides guidance regarding the structure and/or content of the cover letter, we recommend answering the following questions, as the candidate does in this case:

1.     Why are you pursuing a career in commercial law?

2.     Why are you applying to this firm in particular?

3.     Why are you suited to this career and/or this firm?

We recommend answering the questions above in the given order, unlike the candidate has done in this case.

Dear Graduate Recruitment,

Feedback: As a rule of thumb, we recommend addressing your cover letters to the graduate recruitment team as a whole rather than a particular individual within that team, as the candidate does in this case. That is, however, unless the firm directs you to do otherwise (e.g., at the time of writing, Slaughter and May directs candidates to address their cover letters to Janine Arnold, the Head of Trainee Recruitment).

I am a penultimate year Law student at the University of [redacted]. I am writing to apply for a place on the Spring Vacation Scheme at Kirkland & Ellis (K&E).

Feedback: This is an effective introduction because it makes the purpose of the cover letter as well as the profile of the candidate immediately clear to the recruiter.

My interest in commercial law stems from working with the M&A team at an international law firm where I saw the interrelation between advisory and transactional work. I worked on the due diligence process of an acquisition and was drawn to the trust clients have in their lawyers to act as legal and business advisors who understand strategy and provide commercial solutions to legal issues. Running a start-up sparked my interest in helping businesses navigate commercial challenges in order to drive both client and firm growth. Eager to learn more, I secured a place on the competitive RARE Discuss programme where I presented a client pitch to a panel of partners. This confirmed my desire to pursue commercial law as it demonstrated that a career as a commercial solicitor sits perfectly on the axis between business and law, which would satisfy my interest in both sectors.

Feedback: The candidate justifies their interest in pursuing a career in commercial law in an almost story-like fashion by drawing on three personal insights that were formative in nature.

First, they draw on their previous work experience in the field, mentioning their involvement in “the due diligence process of an acquisition” and explaining that they found the dual role performed by commercial solicitors particularly appealing. In doing so, they showcase their understanding of the profession.

Second, they draw on their experience of running a start-up, albeit briefly, explaining their desire to help businesses flourish and overcome challenges. In doing so, they highlight their so-called “entrepreneurial spirit”, an attribute on which US-heritage law firms such as K&E tend to place a great deal of emphasis, especially in terms of recruitment. For the sake of completeness, the candidate could have mentioned the kind of start-up that they ran, even if that information could be easily found elsewhere in their application.

Third, they draw on their participation in a competitive extra-curricular activity related to commercial law, one that attempts to simulate a task that a senior commercial solicitor would undertake: a client pitch. In doing so, they emphasise their commitment to pursuing a career in the field as well as their willingness to go the extra mile to demonstrate it. For emphasis, the candidate could have explained why they were interested in both business and law rather than simply stating that they were, though this is a relatively minor point in the grand scheme of things.

After speaking with associate [redacted K&E associate], I learnt that my ability to deliver results under pressure would be well-suited at K&E. This is because trainees engage with clients at a uniquely early stage. I developed this skill as a Paralegal working on a major sporting contractual dispute. The urgent nature of the review required me to work beyond my allocated working hours to meet the clients deadline. I adapted to the fast-paced environment by liaising with my team to ensure the priority batches were reviewed first. This meant I exceeded my daily target of 750 documents and our team met the deadline.

Feedback: The candidate suggests that K&E places a great deal of emphasis on recruiting individuals with the ability to work well under pressure.

By citing their interaction with a firm representative in support of their suggestion about the firm, they do not only increase the credibility thereof, but they also showcase their willingness to go above and beyond to research K&E. By linking the relevance of their suggestion about the firm back to their previous work experience as a paralegal, they demonstrate that they have the ability to work well under pressure and would, therefore, be a good fit for the firm. To achieve a similar effect, we recommend following the “PEEL” structure (“point”, “evidence”, “explanation”, “link”).

To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have provided the recruiter with more details in terms of the actions they took to meet their given deadline and exceed “[their] daily target of 750 documents” rather than simply stating that they worked overtime; in other words, they could have explained what they did whilst working overtime. Alternatively, the candidate could have explained the transferability of their ability to work well under pressure by drawing a parallel between their previous work experience as a paralegal and the role of a trainee solicitor. 

K&E’s meritocratic culture and expertise in the private equity industry creates an ideal environment to align my experiences with my career ambitions. I am drawn to K&Es high-performance culture because trainees, through the smaller intake, take greater ownership of their role on transactions. The entrepreneurial mindset shared throughout K&E is what sets the firm apart from its competitors and has allowed K&E to become a pioneering force within the London market by providing a full-service offering to private equity clients. I want to train at a firm where I will be consistently challenged with a variety of market-leading private equity work, best preparing myself for life at K&E beyond qualification.

Feedback: The candidate correctly identifies K&E’s emphasis on “meritocracy” and its market-leading expertise in private equity matters as the firm’s stand-out attributes. Crucially, they explain that these attributes are aligned to their own career ambitions, which lends credibility to their answer and creates the impression of confidence in their motivations. To further showcase their research into the firm, the candidate could have mentioned the firm’s open-door policy and its unique progression opportunities in terms of its meritocratic culture, and they could have given examples of the firm’s clients or mentioned the range of services that it provides in terms of its private equity expertise.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,

[redacted name]

Feedback: This is an appropriate conclusion to the cover letter because it is concise and professional. To follow convention, the candidate could have signed off with “Yours faithfully” instead of “Yours sincerely” because they do not technically know the name and title of the addressee, i.e., “Graduate Recruitment”. Alternatively, they could have signed off with “Kind regards” or “Kindest regards”. 

Cover letter

Dear Ms. Danielle White,

[Feedback: Some candidates begin with incorrect salutations (Ms / Mrs etc) but assuming this is the head of graduate recruitment then this application begins correctly.]

I am a penultimate year student studying Law (LLB) at University College London. I am writing to apply for the Mayer Brown 2019 Summer Vacation Scheme.

[Feedback: It is not necessary to state your degree and university in these cover letters as you also send your CV as part of the application. You could therefore save words and solely use the second sentence, which is concise and effective.]

I am interested in a career in commercial law because I have enjoyed my open days at city law firms and legal internships. Through these experiences, I assisted with various tasks: merger, and investment transaction research, litigation case report search and proofreading Islamic finance agreements. I am drawn by the potential for holistic client engagement at different stages of a business’s life cycle and the skilful application of knowledge, negotiation and problem-solving skills to transactions that commercial legal practice would require.

[Feedback: This paragraph begins with tackling why the candidate was drawn to commercial law, focusing on open days/legal internships, legal tasks undertaken and client engagement over a business’s life cycle. These are all good points and the candidate generally writes well.

The paragraph could do a better job of exploring the initial interest in commercial law. Which open days / internships were completed? And why did you enjoy the work? The sentences run on and would be improved by shortening them or adding/removing commas. The writing

leaves room for improvement as well, including the following amendments: “merger, and investment transaction research”, “litigation case report searches”, “drawn by” is slightly informal, etc.]

I enjoyed interning at the private equity firm, [redacted], which exposed me to the versatility and huge potential of private equity for achieving investment objectives and potentially, for economic development. I subsequently joined the organising committee for the 2019 UCL Alternative Investments Conference - the largest annual student conference in the world focused on private equity, hedge funds, and venture capital. I would greatly value the opportunity to be part of Mayer Brown’s expansion of its London office’s Private Equity Practice, as illustrated by the addition of leading lawyers in this field such as Neil Evans. The fully-integrated nature of the firm’s renowned global private equity practice would provide me with exposure to the firm’s other leading practices such as its Regulatory Enforcement and Real Estate Practices. This gives the firm’s private equity team a competitive advantage against other firms and would enable me to support global private equity firms at all phases of their investment cycle.

[Feedback: This paragraph does a good job of weaving in the [redacted] internship and UCL conference with Mayer Brown’s private equity practice. It tells the story quite well of internship -> taking action to learn more -> applying to Mayer Brown. The candidate also shows research skills by mentioning that the practice is growing, as evidenced by a recent hire to that team. This is a great way to demonstrate research and show you are following legal news and especially news relevant to your targeted firm.

The section could be improved in two main ways: writing and understanding how law firms actually work. Capitalisation also needs to be consistent. “Private Equity Practice” is capitalised initially but then “global private equity practice” is lowercase. It doesn’t actually matter which version you go with (we would do lowercase) but the key is to pick one style and do that consistently throughout the application. The only other weakness is that the last couple sentences aren’t true in reality: having a great private equity team doesn’t have much to do with why the firm’s regulatory/real estate teams are top-tier, and it’s also not totally clear as to why that fact gives its private equity team “a competitive advantage against other firms”.

PS - we have worked on a deal opposite Neil Evans. He is a very nice guy as well!]

Mayer Brown’s training programme highlights the firm’s unparalleled long-term investment in its lawyers. The firm’s small trainee intake of 15 would provide me with greater opportunity for responsibility, client exposure and the chance to develop strong relationships with other trainees. The firm’s unique provision of an internal Training Development Centre and the Professional Skills Course for its trainees would immensely facilitate the progression of my professional development.

[Feedback:  This section shows strong research into Mayer Brown’s training. Focusing on the trainee intake size is an important point and is made very convincingly. It is clear the candidate has differentiated Mayer Brown in the application.

The only minor point to note is that many law firms now have their own Professional Skills Courses so it’s not a major differentiating factor.]

My previous experiences have equipped me with key skills which will ensure that I am a fantastic trainee solicitor at Mayer Brown who can make valuable contributions to the firm. In July 2018, I completed a 15-week “Islamic Law, Finance and Business Ethics” course at Harvard University in 3 weeks. I had no previous experience in this subject but my drive to succeed resulted in me achieving a 95% grade in my final research paper.

[Feedback: This paragraph and the next are designed to answer ‘why me’ in the cover letter and succeed in their objective. The Islamic Finance course is impressive, both in terms of time to complete the course and the high mark in the subject. It also ties this achievement back to how the candidate is worthy of Mayer Brown (i.e. it was based on his “drive to succeed”).

Improvement points are that “fantastic” is hyperbolic and could be replaced with “successful” and the final sentence could use the active voice instead of passive (i.e. “I had no previous experience in this subject but achieved a 95% grade in my final research paper due to my drive to succeed”.]

My commitment to achieving consistent excellence is illustrated by my provision of researched customer-specific advice to walk-in clients at Toynbee Hall Advice Centre, who have commended me on my ability to provide them with good advice. The ability to communicate with a diverse range of colleagues and clients is vital for Mayer Brown lawyers, given that the firm is located in 26 cities across the world.

[Feedback:This paragraph discusses the provision of advice to those in need. Providing advice this way is great practice or providing actual legal advice as a solicitor to clients and is helpful experience for offering solutions in real time. The paragraph also channels the importance of communication with diverse individuals and then closes it off by demonstrating further that research Mayer Brown has 26 offices and so this skill would benefit the firm. In short, the candidate packs a significant amount of good points into two sentences which is impressive.

The paragraph could be improved by specifying the sort of "advice” provided (we assume legal or quasi-legal but it’s useful to clarify). The 26 offices points is a good one but it could also use some more words on making the link really clear to unique clients with different language skills walking into the clinic and how that is similar to dealing with Mayer Brown offices on cross-border transactions.]

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback: The closing sentence is concise and effective.] 

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am [redacted name], a penultimate LLB student at the [redacted university]. I am writing to apply for the 2024 Summer Internship at Morrison Foerster.

Feedback: There’s no harm in having a concise introductory paragraph like this. When used effectively, they can ‘set the scene’ for the recruiter by outlining your background and reasons for interest in the firm. In turn, this adds structure to your answer and makes it easier for the recruiter to comprehend your cover letter. The candidate does that well here.

They briefly outline their background and interest in Morrison & Foerster. This paints a helpful picture of the candidate’s experience and interest in the firm.

However, you can safely remove introductory paragraphs from your answer if you are pressed for space/word count. They don’t contribute much substance to your answer – so you should cut them out if you need space to write more meaningful paragraphs elsewhere. In this instance, the recruiter will already have seen from the candidate’s CV/application form that they are a penultimate LLB student. It’s also obvious that they are applying for a Summer Internship. As such, the candidate could have safely cut this paragraph out and freed up 25 words for use elsewhere.

I am interested in developing a career in commercial law due to the dynamic nature of work and the international, collaborative environment. In the past three years, I have undertaken 11 legal internships,  including in-house experiences at [redacted companies]. They allowed me to appreciate the  dynamic nature of commercial law, convincing me that this vibrant and fast-paced field would propel my  continuous learning. This aligns with my ambition to formulate cutting-edge solutions and excel in a  conducive professional setting. Further reinforcing my career choice was my three-year residential  experience at [redacted university hall], an integrated and internationalised hall at [redacted university]. As vice-chairperson of  the Orientation Organising Committee, I co-managed and worked with a multi-ethnic team of sixty to plan  and execute a ten-day orientation in the summer of 2022. The process involved extensive consultations  with senior management, residents, and team members, listening to diverse perspectives, culminating in an  inclusive orientation series fostering global awareness. I found myself energised by this international and  collaborative experience that mirrors the working environment of the field. My experiences have collectively  solidified my belief that a career in commercial law offers the dynamic, international, and collaborative environment in which I thrive.

Feedback:The candidate now addresses the next stage of the cover letter, namely their wider interest in commercial law. This is a sensible approach. Unless the question instructs you to do otherwise, your cover letter should include 3-4 strong paragraphs addressing (1) why commercial law, (2) why the firm and (3) why you. This means that you can start by explaining your broad-brush reasons for your interest in this career path, before gradually zooming in on your specific interest in that firm. You can then leave the recruiter with a good final impression by explaining why they should take you on as a trainee.

Overall, this paragraph is a strong start. The first thing you should notice is that the candidate adopts a sensible, coherent PEEL (Point, Evidence, Explanation, Link) structure throughout the paragraph. The candidate leads in with a concise point that neatly sums up their interest in commercial law. Then, the candidate deploys specific, quantified and detailed personal evidence in support of the point. By highlighting their experiences over the last three years, the candidate demonstrates that they have a sustained and authentic interest in commercial law backed up by their experiences. Then, the candidate goes on to explain/analyse how that evidence proves their point. The candidate goes beyond simply describing their experience on the Orientation Organising Committee. Instead, they explain the collaborative/international aspects of their experience and they provide some insight into why they enjoy that kind of work. This results in a neat link back to the central point, namely that the candidate enjoys the collaborative and international aspects of commercial law.

You should note how the candidate details their experience at the Orientation Organisation Committee in specific, quantified detail. They provide specific details about (1) the time they spent at the orientation and (2) precisely what it involved (from a collaborative/international perspective). You should aim for similar levels of detail in your own answers. If you can quantify your experiences with specific numbers and precise details, then your writing will have greater persuasive weight.

One area for improvement is that the candidate should have tailored their point more closely to commercial law. The candidate never quite explains (1) what they mean by an “international” and “collaborative” environment nor (2) how that applies to the commercial law firm context. This means that the candidate’s central point is quite generic. While it’s true that commercial law firms like Morrison & Foerster are globalised firms with tightly-integrated networks of offices across the world, this obviously isn’t a unique feature of commercial law. The same can be said for many sectors and companies across the City (particularly in the investment banking space). As such, the candidate’s central point should have been more closely tailored to commercial law. As a commercial lawyer in a global City firm, the “international” aspects of your work will primarily come from a project management perspective. On global deals or big international arbitration cases, you will spend a lot of time co-ordinating work with foreign counsel and dealing with local law firms across different jurisdictions. Had the candidate picked up on this point, then their writing would have been much stronger overall.

Morrison Foerster offers the ideal setting for my professional growth, strongly aligning with my aspirations,  values and commitments. As one of the few US firms with a broad industry focus and top-tier rankings in  wide-ranging practices in Hong Kong, Morrison Foerster can offer me hands-on client-facing opportunities  to develop my interests in a variety of practice areas. As I strive to become an exceptional legal professional,  I recognise the importance of a robust global network. Collaborating daily with lawyers from different  Morrison Foerster offices and overseas secondments will foster such a network while providing a synergistic  environment for my growth. Moreover, Morrison Foerster’s training initiatives, such as formal training  workshops and reviews with supervisors, coupled with its people culture marked by inclusion, unity in  commitment to excellence and emphasis on mentorship, will support my adaptation to the demands and  technicalities of each sector. Lastly, I am particularly aligned with Morrison Foerster’s commitment to social  responsibility, as evidenced by the firm’s pro bono involvements, such as teaming up for LGBTQ Rights  in Hong Kong and engagements with Kiva. This resonates with my motivation to contribute to an  integrated community, a commitment demonstrated during my time as a pro bono student at Linklaters.

Feedback: Sensibly, the candidate now moves towards their interest in Morrison & Foerster in this paragraph. The strengths and weaknesses of this paragraph are flipped on their heads here. On one hand, the candidate does a good job in tailoring their writing towards Morrison & Foerster. The candidate begins by analysing Morrison & Foerster’s global office structure in a tailored, precise manager. They go beyond simply listing out MoFo’s office count and the number of jurisdictions in which they have offices. Instead, the candidate compares and contrasts MoFo against other competing US firms. The candidate picks out two specific and unique strengths, namely that (1) MoFo is uniquely good in Hong Kong and (2) that MoFo’s Hong Kong office out-competes other US firms’ Hong Kong offices by offering a greater variety of top-tier rankings and practice strengths. Then, the candidate ties it back in with their personal interests by drawing upon MoFo’s international secondment offerings. Throughout the paragraph, the candidate does well to differentiate MoFo against its US firm competitors. You should do the same in your own writing. Instead of simply picking out features of your chosen firm, you should compare and contrast it against similar law firms in that sector/space. You should then explain how your chosen firm stands out against its competitors and why that appeals to you. This will convince the recruiter that you have a genuine interest in working at that specific firm, which is backed up by detailed and precise research.

On the other hand, the candidate does less well in explaining their personal interest in these points. The candidate asserts that they are interested in a “robust global network” but the candidate never explains why they are specifically interested in Hong Kong. Though the candidate did spend the previous paragraph explaining their interest in international/global environments, they needed to apply that analysis/explanation to MoFo here. We would need the candidate to explain why they are interested in MoFo’s specific Hong Kong strengths. In any case, the candidate is applying for a London vacation scheme/training contract – not a Hong Kong one. The candidate does start to draw a link between the two by touching upon the London training contract’s international secondment opportunities, but they needed to explain this connection much more thoroughly.

We also think that the candidate has spread themselves too thinly in this paragraph. In the second half, the candidate begins picking out MoFo’s pro bono initiatives. The candidate picks out the LGBTQ Rights initiative as an example, but does not quite explain (1) why this example interested them nor (2) how that makes MoFo unique. Though this is an excellent example, you’ll find that most US firms offer global-orientated pro bono initiatives like this. As such, the candidate needed to go much further in explaining how this example makes MoFo’s pro bono offerings unique. In the same way, the candidate asserts an interest in pro bono work stemming from their time at Linklaters. However, the candidate never explains (1) what this involved nor (2) how it developed their interest in the kind of globalised pro bono work that MoFo offers.

These issues probably cropped up because the candidate did not have enough space to unpack each point/example in depth. You can avoid this issue by sticking to just one point per paragraph. Each paragraph should cover just one motivational point (using the PEEL structure). You should then unpack it with specific examples and detailed analysis. In this sense, you should always prioritise depth of analysis over breadth of points. Had the candidate focused on just one point (i.e. by choosing one of MoFo’s work OR its training structure), then they could have explained their personal interest in that point much more thoroughly.

I believe I am a good fit for Morrison Foerster for two reasons. Firstly, I am a self-motivated and curious  individual. I taught myself programming four years ago and developed a mobile application to assist  children with special educational needs. Furthermore, I proactively participated in case competitions to  develop problem solving skills and acquire business knowledge. A notable achievement was being ranked in the Global Top 16 in the 2022 International Online Case Competition, where my team of four devised  creative solutions to tackle the challenges faced by [redacted company] and help the company maintain its  industry-leading position. Secondly, I am an excellent team player. I dedicated myself to captain for the St.  John’s College hockey team, which equipped me with the essential people-skills to communicate and  collaborate effectively with a diverse group of individuals. During my captain year, I led a team of 20 players,  hailing from six nationalities and with varying skill levels, from beginners to national team members. I did  my best to foster a unified team through reflecting on how I guide different players, and holding regular  meetings and bonding activities. Our hard work and solid collaboration paid off as we won the hockey championship at [redacted university] for three years running.

Feedback: The candidate now moves onto the final element of the cover letter, namely “Why should you hire me?”. On the whole, the candidate addresses this aspect well. The key strength of this paragraph is that the candidate describes their achievements with specific, quantifiable details and numerical evidence throughout the paragraph. The candidate goes beyond simply describing their experiences and achievements. Instead, the candidate deploys specific evidence consistently throughout. They start by specifying that they ranked in the Global Top 16 in the International Online Case Competition. Then, the candidate moves onto their hockey experience. They specify (1) that they led a team of 20 players and (2) that their team won the hockey championship for three years running. In turn, this provides the recruiter with a complete insight into the scale and gravity of the candidate’s achievements. The recruiter is fully aware of (1) how many people the candidate competed against in securing these achievements and (2) precisely what each experience involved. In turn, these details add great persuasive value and weight to the candidate’s arguments. You should aim for similar levels of detail in your own writing. Where possible, you should quantify both your actions and your achievements with numerical detail and statistics.

The key weakness is that the candidate does not unpack their actions/contributions in meaningful depth. For example. The candidate begins by asserting that they “taught themselves programming” but they never explain precisely what this involved nor how they ultimately applied that knowledge to develop an app for children with specific educational needs. In turn, the candidate asserts that their team won the International Online Case Competition by “devising creative solutions” but never explains (1) what these solutions involved nor (2) precisely how the team worked together to develop these solutions. The candidate does slightly better towards the end, namely by asserting that they led the hockey team by “reflecting on how [they] guided players” and “holding regular meetings/bonding activities”. However, these points are still quite vague. The candidate does not truly explain what these actions involved nor do they explain how effective these steps were at building a good team spirit. In these paragraphs, you should go beyond simply describing your achievements. You should unpack each and every step/action you took to achieve that outcome. This will allow the recruiter to analyse your steps/actions and infer your skills from them as a result.

The problem stems from the fact that the candidate tries to cover too much ground in one paragraph. By cramming three different examples into one paragraph, the candidate does not give themselves enough space to unpack each one in meaningful depth. You can avoid this issue by focusing on just one example. You should then analyse it in detail using the STAR structure (situation, task, action, result) – with most of the focus being on the “action” section. The recruiter can then analyse your actions and infer your skills from them. This will also save you from having to spell out your skills to the recruiter overtly.

I am an ambitious and confident individual who possesses the qualities to become a well-rounded  commercial lawyer. I sincerely hope that I will have the opportunity to contribute to Morrison Foerster this  summer. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application, and please do not hesitate to contact  me at [redacted email]. 

Feedback: There’s no harm in writing a concluding paragraph like this. It can improve the structure of your cover letter by neatly wrapping up your points.

However, the candidate could have cut this down significantly (particularly if they had to meet a word count/space limit). The recruiter will already know the candidate’s email address/contact details from the CV or application form. Equally, the recruiter should already be convinced that the candidate is ambitious/confident and that they want to join MoFo for the summer vacation scheme. Most of the writing here does not add value to the candidate’s cover letter, and so it can be cut down.

We usually recommend that you keep the conclusion very simple/brief by writing no more than 1-2 sentences. It can simply be a “Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you in due course.”

Yours faithfully,

[No question prompt provided]

[redacted university]

[redacted date]

I am a penultimate year student studying Law (LLB) at University College London and I am writing to apply for the above-captioned role, as advertised to me at the 2018 UCL Law Careers Fair.

[Feedback: Slightly flat start in the first sentence and no need to state your degree/university (as included in your accompanying CV) but otherwise harmless.]

I am interested in a career in commercial law because I have enjoyed my open days at city law firms and legal internships. Through these experiences, I assisted with various tasks: merger, and investment transaction research, litigation case report search and proofreading Islamic finance agreements. I am drawn by the potential for holistic client engagement at different stages of a business’s life cycle and the skilful application of knowledge, negotiation and problem-solving skills to transactions that commercial legal practice would require. My interest in Islamic finance, stemming from the relative resilience of Islamic financial institutions during the 2008 global financial crisis drew me to complete an “Islamic Law, Finance and Business Ethics’’ course at Harvard University during the 2018 summer holidays. Given this interest, and Millbank’s position as innovative leaders in Islamic Finance - demonstrated by the firm’s role in advising the underwriters on the leading G3 issuance of bonds and Sukuk certificates by the leading oil and gas company PETRONAS - I am particularly attracted to a career at Milbank. The firm’s exceptionalism in advising on complex global contentious and transactional matters as illustrated by the recognition of the firm’s Finance and Restructuring Groups as the teams of the year at the 2018 Transatlantic Legal Awards, as well as the firms Chambers & Partners Band 1 ranking for Litigation & Arbitration. As such, it would be a privilege to work in an environment where exceptional results are consistently achieved in complex cross-border transactions.

[Feedback: This paragraph begins with tackling why the candidate was drawn to commercial law, focusing on open days/legal internships, legal tasks undertaken and a specific interest in Islamic finance. The candidate does a good job of focusing on a niche area that Milbank excels at and explores why that excites the candidate. The Harvard course is impressive, as is the research into Milbank’s Islamic finance practice (Petronas transaction), along with general finance successes. 

The paragraph could do a better job of exploring the initial interest in commercial law. Which open days / internships were completed? And why did you enjoy the work? The other notable question mark is the mention of Milbank’s leading Litigation & Arbitration practice which is introduced near the end and then never explored further. This should either be deleted or discussed properly. The sentences run on throughout and would be improved by shortening them or adding/removing commas. The writing is decent but leaves room for improvement as well, including the following amendments: “merger, and investment transaction research”, “litigation case report searches”, “drew me” is too informal, etc.]

I am particularly interested in training at Milbank because of the firm’s unparalleled demonstrated investment in its lawyers’ development. A conversation with Olivia Anderson and Emily Henderson, current associates at the firm, further developed my interest in training at Milbank, as they provided me with further insight into the culture of the firm and how its lawyers are consistently supported. A key example of this is the firm’s provision of the unique ‘Milbank@Harvard’ programme which illustrates the firm’s commitment to the continued professional development of its lawyers. The firm’s small trainee intake of 5 would provide me with greater opportunity for on-the-job training and responsibility, client exposure and the opportunity to develop strong relationships with other trainees in my cohort, as well as access to senior lawyer mentorship. Thus, I believe that there would be no better place to begin my career and develop as successful world-class commercial lawyer than at Milbank.

[Feedback: This section shows research into Milbank’s culture and that the candidate made an effort to speak to current associates to learn more. The Milbank@Harvard is also a great example of continued focus on improving the skills of the firm’s lawyers. Focusing on the trainee intake size is another important point and is made very convincingly. It is clear the candidate has differentiated Milbank in the application.

The first sentence and second sentence introduce somewhat related but slightly different points. It feels as if the first sentence would be better placed after the Milbank@Harvard point to finish off that thought. There is a typo in the last sentence (should read “as a successful world-class commercial lawyer than at Milbank”) Wording could be improved to say “Unparallelled investment demonstrated”. This section repeats variations of the words “development”, “interest” and “commitment” which distracts from some of the good points being made.]

I believe that my previous experiences have equipped me with key skills which will ensure that I am a fantastic trainee solicitor at Milbank who can make valuable contributions to the firm. My intellectual curiosity and hard work ethic are evidenced by my completion of a 15-week “Islamic Law, Finance and Business Ethics” course at Harvard University in 3 weeks. I had no previous experience in this subject but my interest and drive to succeed resulted in me achieving a 95% grade in my final research paper. I was given a week to write the paper and present my findings to a class of undergraduates, graduates, and professionals who all commended my research. This experience also highlights my willingness to learn new complex matters, which I believe will be a valuable asset to have as a trainee solicitor. As the current elected [redacted] African-Caribbean Society Sponsorship Officer, I took the initiative to create a ‘Sponsor Guide’ which includes sponsor firm schemes and careers guidance to tackle the society’s members’ lack of awareness of sponsor opportunities. The Guide increased member applications for sponsor opportunities and has been described as ‘the best resource for first-year students.’ My commitment to achieving consistent excellence is illustrated by my provision of researched customer specific advice to walk-in clients at Toynbee Advice Centre, who have commended me on my ability to provide them with good advice. The ability to communicate with a diverse range of colleagues and clients is vital for Milbank lawyers, given the firm’s presence across 4 continents.

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback: This final section is structured well and completes the cover letter appropriately (answering ‘why law / why the firm / why me' per paragraph). The candidate claims “intellectual curiosity and hard work ethic” along with “willingness to learn new complex matters” and then demonstrates it with strong academics and general high performance. The Society role shows good leadership and and success while working in a team, and the legal advice centre is a good example of legal work experience working with diverse clients. It ties it back to Milbank at the end in an especially impressive manner, showcasing research and wider thought. The closing sentence is then concise and effective.

The Islamic finance course is already discussed and it would be better to introduce a fresh example here. It feels as if the Islamic finance course could use less discussion and that the Toynbee Advice Centre should have been given more of the limelight, especially as it is real legal work experience advising clients in difficult situations. As a general pointer, it is unnecessary to describe when others have commended you or provided quotes (“best resource for first-year students”) as these can easily be faked and academic results or tangible achievements seem more concrete. A few other enhancements could be made as follows: “fantastic” sounds hyperbolic and could be replaced with “successful” or another more tempered word; “hard work ethic” can be swapped for “strong work ethic”; “a week” should be replaced with “one week”; and “4 continents” should be replaced with “four continents” as it is better to spell out the number if it is less than 10. ]

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Graduate Recruitment Team,

I am writing to apply for the 2022 Training Contract at Norton Rose Fulbright.

[Feedback: Good start. Short and to the point.]

After completing a vacation scheme at the firm, I am confident that there would be no better place to begin my career and develop as a commercial lawyer than at Norton Rose Fulbright.

[Feedback: This is worth highlighting at the start because completing a vac scheme at the firm is a huge advantage and so, while this sentence would otherwise feel awkward at the start, it is correct to use it here.]

My previous experiences have exposed me to the multifaceted role which solicitors play when advising clients on complex transactions. While interning at [redacted], a leading law firm in [redacted country], I shadowed a lawyer in their Oil & Gas practice. I was intrigued by the fundamental role the lawyers played when advising clients on their operation in the [redacted country] oil & gas industry. I discovered that a lot of [redacted country]’s laws in this area were obsolete compared to other jurisdictions, requiring lawyers to be innovative when solving their clients’ problems. Thus, my motivation for pursuing a career in commercial law is the prospect of efficiently assisting clients with complex problems that are at the forefront of global issues.

My interest was confirmed during a vacation scheme at Norton Rose Fulbright where I sat

in the project finance department focusing on Energy, Infrastructure and Natural Resources. I assisted my supervisor with a project which involved the termination of a Sinfin waste plant in the UK which aimed to use waste products to produce electricity in Derby. The project presented issues that had never occurred in similar projects and therefore had no precedents. Working on the project was intriguing as it demonstrated the firm’s innovation and pre-eminence when assisting clients with issues that are the first of their kind.

[Feedback: This paragraph explains why the candidate was attracted to law. The candidate highlights impressive legal work experience and his impression of law being an innovative field of work. The Nigerian law firm internship is unique and helps round out the application,and the Norton Rose part is also interesting and will leap off the page when a graduate recruiter whirls through it. Both examples are structured well, beginning with work experience -> task completed -> why it was interesting -> lesson learned. 

While the paragraph covers the ‘why law’ aspect it could use more signposting. That is all implied from the section but it isn’t spelled out clearly for the reader. As well, while the two work experiences are distinct, the lesson learned (i.e. law firms are innovative and do cutting edge work) is slightly similar and could be better distinguished. The word “intriguing” is also repeated. Using a broad array of words will make your application more enjoyable to read.]

I am impressed by the firm’s work in Africa and its ability to help clients navigate through the most complex legal issues on the continent. Whilst on the vacation scheme, I assisted Andrew Buisson with a construction project in Malawi. I carried out several tasks for him, which exposed me to the complexities involved with construction projects in emerging economies. For example, I discovered the importance of placing the design risk on the construction company in Engineering, Procurement and Construction contracts which involve emerging markets to protect clients from future liability, given the unpredictability of projects in these economies. Norton Rose Fulbright’s global nature is especially advantageous in these types of projects as it allows the firm to provide deep local knowledge in developing economies where the projects are being built. Having lived in [redacted country], the firm’s ability to assist clients on complex projects in Africa appeals to me.

[Feedback: This paragraph answers the ‘why Norton Rose’ aspect of the application. The candidate further explores the firm’s strength in Africa and how he learned an interesting point during his Construction rotation and how that helped him to recognise the firm’s depth of expertise. The final sentence also completes the paragraph smoothly by tying the firm’s success to the candidate’s own interests and experiences. The candidate has written this section well, too.

The ‘why Norton Rose’ element comes out organically but again could use better signposting. “Complex” and variations of that word are repeated heavily throughout the application so far.]

My desire to pursue a career at Norton Rose Fulbright is also as a result of its reputation and global exceptionalism. The firm’s industry focus allows lawyers to have a deep understanding of clients’ sectors in order to offer them tailored advice. Training at the firm would allow me to learn from lawyers who are specialists in their fields. I am also impressed by the firm’s commitment to tech innovation and its desire to deliver the best results for its clients. Through NRF Transform and the Newcastle Hub, the firm looks for effective ways to improve its internal processes and provide excellent technology-based solutions to clients. This means that as a trainee, I will be exposed to market-leading legal technologies at an early stage in my career.

[Feedback: The candidate starts very well by signposting clearly. The paragraph is clear and covers (i) learning from great lawyers and (ii) embracing innovation. This is another very strong paragraph, as the candidate ties back each example to how it will specifically impact him during his training contract. It also shows off good knowledge of the firm as well in mentioning NRF Transform and the Newcastle Hub.

The only feedback point is that this would be a good section to mention any awards the firm has won when discussing the “firm’s reputation and global exceptionalism” as it could use evidence to back up the claim.]

My previous experiences have allowed me to develop skills that I believe will enable me to excel as a trainee solicitor at the firm. My commitment to achieving excellence is illustrated by my role as the marketing officer of the UCL Emerging Markets Forum where I pioneered creative strategies to increase our ticket sales. For example, I used interesting infographics on our social media pages and collaborated with the research team to produce informative articles to be published online. This increased engagement with our social media pages by 70%. As a result of these initiatives, we sold all the tickets available for the conference. This success led to my appointment as the Director of Delegate Affairs for the 2020 conference. I have also undertaken multiple mentoring roles which have allowed me to develop my communication and interpersonal skills. For instance, as a Pathways to law mentor, I led multiple skills sessions with five of my mentees which required me to explain complex commercial terms in a simple and concise way. I believe that Norton Rose Fulbright is the best place for me to begin and progress through a global career in commercial law.

[Feedback:This section answers the ‘why me’ part required by the cover letter, and begins with excellent signposting. The first example with the UCL Emerging Markets Forum is superb: it claims ‘commitment to excellence’ -> details what actions were taken -> explains success and quantifies it (engagement / ticket sales) -> rewarded with promotion and leadership role. The next example is also structurally sound: skill the candidate possesses -> example. It’s also relevant and an admirable one to highlight.

The Pathways example is a little short, perhaps the consequence of having such a flawless first example. The last sentence also feels like it would be better placed alongside the final sentence below as the start of the final paragraph as it doesn’t flow naturally from the Pathways example. There should be capitalisation to say “Pathways to Law” to make clear that it’s the title of the program and “Multiple” is also repeated (alongside the overused “complex”).]

I look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback: Ending is fine as well.]

Covering letter - please use this opportunity to tell us about yourself and your reasons for applying to Penningtons Manches (including the relevant location). (Max 500 words)

Dear Ms Vine,

I wish to apply to the Penningtons Manches 2020 Vacation Scheme, as advertised on its website.

[Feedback: When you write a cover letter, you should always address it to the appropriate person. Sometimes the firm will tell you who that individual is, in which case, use that name and sign off with ‘Yours sincerely’. On other occasions, you should use ‘Sir/Madam’ and sign off with ‘Yours faithfully’. You should also note that in British English that the honorifics omit the full stop (for example, ‘Ms’ is correct, not ‘Ms.’).

The candidate’s opening sentence is sufficient, although they could have cut the part that reads ‘as advertised on its website’. This bit of detail does not add anything to the answer, and all candidates will be applying online anyway. Considering that the office location is particularly important, the candidate could have specified the location in their opening sentence. For example, the candidate may have improved their answer by writing the following:

‘I am writing to apply for a vacation scheme at Penningtons Manches Cooper’s Cambridge office.

This version is concise and to the point, which is what you should aim for in an introductory sentence.]

I believe that I have both the experience and skills to become a successful solicitor at your firm. I have acquired extensive work experience in legal commercial firms, such as Ashurst and Addleshaw Goddard. Seeing the type of work completed there makes me aware of what a solicitor's job entails. I possess significant skills of legal research and analysis, shown by my high grades in Law modules and my good performance in research tasks at commercial law firms or at York Community Consulting. Having achieved a strong 2:1 in my Law degree, I have proven that I can achieve results at the top of my class. I have also proven that, among my peers, my skills of commercial awareness are excellent, by participating in the Commercial Awareness Competition and progressing to the next round, having beaten 750 other competitors. By regularly reading up on commercial news in my spare time, such as the AT&T & Time Warner merger deal, I stand out as possessing the commitment to follow the ever-changing commercial world affairs. Finally, I have demonstrated drive and resilience to achieve my goals by taking on large projects such as organising the Global Week event for 400 people. My frequent involvement in student groups involved thinking of creative solutions to common problems, which was recognised in many awards, such as the [redacted] Awards or the Societies That Achieve Recognition (STARs). Not only have these positions exhibited that I am capable of finalising large-scale projects, but that I can maintain a productive work-life balance. As the job of a solicitor involves commitment and time management, this shows that I could be a successful employee for the firm.

[Feedback: We would recommend focusing on three key areas when writing your cover letter: the firm’s work, training, and culture. Your focus should be in that order, with you prioritising work and training over culture. Furthermore, we would recommend sticking to clear point, evidence, explanation/analysis, and link (‘PEEL’) structured paragraphs. By doing so, you will ensure that you communicate effectively and make your answer easy to read.

The candidate’s answer does well to include a decent amount of detail. You should notice how the candidate cites names, facts, statistics, and other details in their answer. This is excellent. Many candidates are coy in their responses or omit specific information. Unfortunately, this is to the answer’s detriment. Without specific details, your answer will lack credence and flair. The recruiter knows nothing about you or your experiences. They are relying on the detail of your answer to build a picture of you and determine whether you are the right person for the firm.

Some good examples of where the candidate employs specific detail include:

1. ‘such as Ashurst and Addleshaw Goddard’

2. ‘or at York Community Consulting’

3. ‘having beaten 750 other competitors’

4. ‘such as the AT&T & Time Warner merger deal’

5. ‘organising the Global Week event for 400 people’

Once again, you should note how the candidate employs names and numbers to substantiate their examples and wider answer.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have first considered splitting their paragraph into smaller separate paragraphs. The answer is currently quite challenging to read as a wall of text. Although at first look, all the content may fit in one overarching point, the candidate is actually making several points. We would recommend one point per paragraph. If you are moving onto a different point (even if it is related), we would strongly recommend moving to a new paragraph. However, remember to stick to a PEEL structure and finish each section with an appropriate ‘link’ back to the overall question or your broader argument.

The second point of improvement relates to the specificity of the candidate’s answer. Whilst the candidate has employed a decent level of detail in their answer (as discussed above), the candidate is often vague in other places. For example, the candidate often makes a point and provides a supporting example, such as ‘I have also proven that, among my peers, my skills of commercial awareness are excellent, by participating in the Commercial Awareness Competition and progressing to the next round, having beaten 750 other competitors’. However, the candidate fails to explain how that evidence supports their point.

Furthermore, they do not link their discussion back to an overall point or argument (in this case, it would most likely be related to why the candidate would make a good trainee solicitor). Even though the candidate provides an extra example via the Time Warner deal, they still do not explain how the example demonstrates the candidate’s ‘commitment to follow the ever-changing commercial world affairs’. This weakens the candidate’s argument and results in the reader asking, ‘so what?’. When writing your applications, ensure that your answers are complete. If you leave out the explanation or link sections of your answers, your responses are unlikely to be persuasive.]

I wish to apply to Penningtons Manches Cambridge office as the firm is a strong competitor in this area. As I have serious plans for moving to Cambridge after graduation in order to join my partner there, I am looking for the provider of the best Training Contract in the city. The office is consistently ranked in the top tiers of Legal 500 in the area across all its departments, which promises challenging and impactful work. I am most interested in the Corporate & Commercial Department as I have experience in the subject from working in Traple and Ashurst. I have also received strong grades in the subjects of commercial and contract law, which has sparked my interest in the topic, having received a 75% in an essay on consideration. The Cambridge office also has a very strong Employment team, ranked highly in Legal 500, which is an area that I am keen on working in after handling papers in an unfair dismissal case at Addleshaw Goddard. Lastly, I am keen on working at the firm due to its small trainee intake, as I excel in smaller teams (e.g. in YCC).

[Feedback: The question specifies that the candidate discusses their motivations for a particular location. This is naturally important given that the firm has over five offices across England. Therefore, the candidate does well to specify their preference for the Cambridge office (although, as mentioned earlier, the candidate could have indicated this earlier in their answer).

The candidate addresses an implicit question immediately: if they do not already live in Cambridge, why would they want to work in Cambridge? The candidate appears to give genuine, human reasons for moving to the city and wishing to get a job there. We would always recommend being truthful about your motivations rather than trying to make up an answer that sounds impressive. Recruiters are alive to the fact that candidates will take opportunities to embellish their answers, and disingenuous answers are easily spotted. Therefore, the candidate has done well in giving a candid yet professional answer.

Broadly speaking, the candidate has also done well due to the level of detail they employ in their answer. The candidate cites their experience at Traple and Ashurst to justify their interest in Corporate and references an essay they did at university to evidence their suitability for such work. They also mention their work at Addleshaw Goddard to prove their interest in working in Penningtons’ Employment team. Again, you should note how the candidate uses specific facts and statistics to back up their answers.

The candidate could improve their answer by tightening their argumentation. Like the above section, the candidate takes their analysis only 50-75% to completion. You must remember to explain or analyse the evidence you employ in your answers. This is how you elaborate on your example and explicitly communicate how your example proves your point. To illustrate, you can consider this point made by the candidate:

‘I am keen on working in [Penningtons’ Employment team]’

Now you can look at how the candidate evidences this claim:

‘after handling papers in an unfair dismissal case at Addleshaw Goddard.’

Although this is where the candidate ends their discussion on this specific point, the argument is incomplete. What did the candidate do concerning ‘handling papers’ that gave them this interest in employment law? To answer this question, the candidate needed to have gone into more specific detail concerning what they did at Addleshaw Goddard and, crucially, how this activity got them interested in the wider field. Finally, the candidate would then have needed to link that explanation (with respect to their interest in employment law) back to their overall motivations for joining the firm. You must remember to complete all the steps of the PEEL structure. Though recruiters may be charitable in some instances, most will not infer the necessary argumentation for you.

Finally, the candidate could have improved their answer by changing their written communication style. The candidate did not need to capitalise ‘Training Contract’ (as it is not a name so much as it is a thing in itself). Furthermore, the candidate should not have used the abbreviation ‘e.g.’. An application answer is a piece of professional communication. Therefore, it should be written accordingly without abbreviations such as ‘i.e.’ and ‘e.g.’.

Finally, the candidate should not have employed the abbreviation ‘YCC” without first defining what it stands for. Candidates often make the mistake of using abbreviations without saying what they stand for first or abbreviating when it is unnecessary (for example, when a candidate only uses the phrase once). It appears that the candidate ran out of words in their last sentence and quickly tried to fit in an extra point and needed to use abbreviations to do so. You should avoid doing this. You should instead prioritise depth over breadth and use the remaining word count to flesh out an existing point.]

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

[redacted name]

Please insert your covering letter in support of your application here. Please include your reasons for applying to Skadden and why you believe you are suited to the firm. (300 words)

I was motivated to apply to Skadden because of the firm's excellent reputation across a breadth of practice areas, the complex and engaging matters and transactions that the firm works on for high-calibre clients, and the firm's international links.

[Feedback: This is an effective start because the candidate outlines their answer to the first part of the prompt, making their motivations for applying to the firm immediately clear to the reader. Signposting in this manner helps the reader anticipate the content of a piece of writing and creates the impression of a confident writer. To increase readability, we would have improved the sentence structure by omitting superfluous words (e.g., “transactions” in “matters and transactions”), but this is a relatively minor point. 

Note: improper use of “because of”. 

A vacation scheme at Skadden, which offers the opportunity to gain exposure to two practice areas, and training contract with compulsory seats in corporate and litigation, appeals to my multi-disciplinary background, having studied joint honours. The balance between corporate (Skadden’s largest practice area by partner headcount), and litigation (next largest) would allow me as a trainee interested in both practices to gain exposure in transactional and contentious work at an early stage in my training. Moreover, Skadden's reputation for undertaking complex matters for high-calibre clients (having represented 50% of the Fortune250) drew me to apply. As a leading firm in international arbitration, Skadden offers incomparable opportunities for its trainees, working on high-value matters like the enforcement of the largest ever investment treaty award (£290m) in the renewable energy sector worldwide. Finally, Skadden’s international links, particularly the trainee secondment opportunities, appeal to me as I am keen to build upon my experiences of studying abroad in a professional context.

[Feedback: The first sentence is convoluted. As a rule of thumb, we would recommend that you keep your sentences under 25 words in order to ensure that the reader is able to follow your train of thought with relative ease. Furthermore, said sentence does not any value to the candidate’s overall answer because it simply relays easily accessible information regarding Skadden’s vacation scheme and training contract. The candidate’s attempt to link said information back to their “multi-disciplinary background” comes across as disingenuous, given the lack of further elaboration on the point. Although the idea of balance between transactional contentious matters makes for a great point of analysis, we would have liked to see a robust explanation as to why the candidate is keen to experience both types of matters at Skadden (as opposed to, e.g., Jones Day).

The candidate’s point regarding Skadden’s reputation is rather generic; arguably, the firm’s competitors are also known for “undertaking complex matters for high-calibre clients”. To illustrate, the sentence would still hold true if “Skadden” were replaced with “White & Case” or “Latham & Watkins”. Remember that, if you can replace the firm’s name with that of another firm without altering the meaning of your sentence, your analysis is not specific enough. Note that simply inserting an innocuous fact about the firm (e.g., “[Skadden represents] 50% of the Fortune250) will not improve your analysis. What might improve a seemingly generic analysis is a genuine personal insight that allows the reader to understand your appreciation for a particular feature of the firm. For instance, one might be attracted to the prospect of undertaking non-commoditised work for premium clients because they find challenges intellectually stimulating and/or because the element of novelty constitutes a source of motivation for them.

The candidate does well to identify Skadden’s expertise in international arbitration as one of the firm’s unique selling points. However, they fail to explain why international arbitration is interesting to them and why they mentioned a deal in the renewable energy sector (as opposed to e.g., the construction sector). The candidate’s point regarding the firm’s international links also remains undeveloped, as it is manifestly unclear what they mean by building “upon [their] experiences of studying abroad in a professional context”.

Notes: subject-verb disagreement in the first sentence,

I believe I am suited to Skadden because the firm's training style and culture align with my strengths and values. Skadden's small trainee intake, which enables close access to senior colleagues and high levels of responsibility, appeals because I enjoy seizing opportunities for self-development. During my internship at [executive consulting firm], I volunteered to take on more responsibility in order to gain exposure to areas I was interested in. For example, I learnt how to use software that tracked market activity because I was keen to learn more about the business relationships with private equity and venture capital firms.

[Feedback:This paragraph is effective because the candidate correctly identifies an attractive feature of Skadden’s training programme (i.e., the high levels of responsibility afforded to trainees) and draws on a relevant personal insight to explain their interest therein. We would have liked to see more detail regarding the candidate’s internship, as the circumstances in which they undertook additional responsibility are rather unclear, as is the purpose/ result of their undertaking such responsibility (did it help anyone? did the candidate lighten a colleague/ supervisor’s workload? etc.). The reader should not be left guessing or reading too much into your claims; it is in your best interests to provide them with sufficient and clear information. To this end, you might want to ask a friend or family member who is removed from the process to read over your answers and flag any unclarities.

Note: awkward phrasing at “enables close access to senior colleagues”.

Lastly, Skadden's record on the Human Rights Campaign Foundation's Corporate Equality Index, internal women’s networks, and 239,923 pro bono hours in 2019 align with my own values and efforts to have a positive effect on my community, while volunteering at my local Citizens Advice Bureau.

[Feedback: This paragraph leaves much to be desired in terms of both structure and content. Structure-wise, it should not have been split from the previous paragraph because it appears to be tackling the same subject matter, i.e., the candidate’s suitability to the firm. Moreover, a single sentence should never stand on its own unless it serves as a concluding remark (e.g., “Thank you for your kind consideration”). Content-wise, this paragraph adds little to no value to the candidate’s overall answer because it does not elucidate why the candidate believes that they are suited to the firm. The candidate simply states that a collection of facts loosely related to Skadden’s Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) efforts aligns with their values, before briefly mentioning their volunteering experience with Citizens Advice Bureau. Had the candidate drawn on said volunteering experience to explain their inclination towards and/or interest in CSR, their answer might have been a little more persuasive.

In any event, we would recommend that you focus on identifying and discussing a firm’s unique selling points (USPs) in terms of the type of work it undertakes and the training opportunities it offers because the better part of your time at the firm will be taken up by the aforementioned aspects. It is also important to note that it is unlikely for a firm’s CSR initiatives to constitute a USP, given that firms tend to pursue similar strategies and espouse similar values. 

Cover letter and CV

Dear Mrs Mel Binks, [Feedback: Unless you are positive it is “Mrs” you should go with “Ms”. No need for her first name either.]

I am writing to apply for the 2019 summer work experience scheme at Slaughter and May.

Having been invited to a dinner at Slaughter and May for a few members of UCL’s Law Society Committee, I noticed a particularly strong camaraderie among both partners and trainees concentrated in a friendly, enthusiastic and thriving setting. One of the most encouraging and promising qualities I noticed at Slaughter and May was this strong collegiate atmosphere and I instantly drew a comparison to my experience at university.

[Feedback: the first sentence is concise and crisp. The candidate then does well to flag his previous interaction with Slaughters and weaves it neatly in with his leadership role on the law committee.

The second sentence of the second paragraph somewhat repeats the first without saying anything new.   Possible alternative drafting of that section could be: “Having been invited to a dinner at Slaughter and May for members of UCL’s Law Society Committee, I have had the opportunity to meet and discuss the firm with a range of partners and current trainees.  I was struck by the camaraderie and collegiate atmosphere among the lawyers at the dinner.  In addition to Slaughter and May’s preeminent reputation for high-quality training, varied work and a multi-specialist approach, this insight into the firm’s culture convinced me to apply”.]

What I most enjoy about studying law at UCL is this same family culture contained in the Law Faculty and the pride we take in having a wide variety of intelligent and independently minded students. This encouraged me to become involved in Law Faculty activities in addition to my academic degree.In particular, representing UCL in both Mooting and Debating has strongly developed my advocacy, research and problem-solving skills as well as providing me with significant experience of working as part of a team.

[Feedback: This paragraph answers “why law”. It begins with a broad answer and then hones in on mooting/debating and what the candidate has learned. This link to the skills gained is the strongest part of this paragraph. The writing is also quite good.]

It’s unclear if “representing” means he was selected or if he won any competitions? It’s worth stating if there was an achievement, otherwise a reader might wonder.]

I am very proud to be a member of UCL’s Law Society Committee as the Speaker Secretary. Although I am personally responsible for all debating activities, the success of our society lies in the total responsibility given to each member and the fact we are all expected to go above and beyond our individual positions. This has meant I have been involved with everything from participating in pro bono charity events to organising the Christmas Ball. It is this ability to work in a team where your own individual talents are promoted which I believe is one of the most important strengths of Slaughter and May, and an area in which I would hope to flourish.

[Feedback: The candidate does do a good job of highlighting his achievements, explaining the significance of them and detailing what he has learned. He also ties the foregoing back to S&M at the end to neatly complete the thought. The writing also shows off the candidate’s ability to draft descriptively.

The application is heavily focused towards the Law Society so far and could be segmented better. It’s also unclear if he was elected to it or not (and if he was, he should say so). Instead of discussing the expectations of members to “go above and beyond”, he should just mention how HE went above and beyond - it saves words and then looks more impressive. The throwaway reference to S&M at the end also feels generic.]

My employment experience has given me a first-hand understanding of working as part of a large business and appreciating that, although there may be many solutions to a problem, only one may be the most effective commercially. In the same way, Slaughter and May is driven by its clients and their commercial goals. Therefore, its success lies in this combination of individually intuitive teamwork with an understanding of broader business objectives. I believe I could contribute as an individual to the firm whilst also having an awareness of clients’ commercial needs.

[Feedback: this is the best paragraph as it correctly identifies what being a commercial lawyer involves (although could use a bit more directness) and explains how S&M achieves that (albeit generically). It also functions as a good summary paragraph. It could also be improved by adding more specifics on what the previous “employment experience” is.]

I hope you consider me for a summer work experience placement. [Feedback: final sentence is not memorable but does the job adequately]

Yours sincerely,

[redacted]

[Feedback: Looking at his CV below, we think it is fair to assume that his excellent first year grades and history of strong academic achievement played the greatest role in securing a vacation scheme. A high 2:1 from UCL in first year would probably put him in the top 5% of vacation scheme applicants already. The cover letter itself was weaker:  other than the intro paragraph this cover letter could be replicated entirely for any other law firm - and that’s a big problem. There was zero research done on the firm and saying S&M is “collegiate” should not be sufficient on its own. It is also always worth including the fundamentals:

(1) why commercial law - this was not explored at all until the final paragraph and could be fleshed out further;

(2) why you - this was the bulk of the application but could have been scaled back on some of the fluffier points and expanded (i.e. he never mentions his very relevant legal work experience you can see in his CV!) and

(3) why the firm - a good intro hook on the dinner and people but ends there and needs at least something to show he knows a bit about the firm.

However, as noted the CV below is excellent (one of the best our team have reviewed).] 

[No question prompt provided]

Slaughter and May

One Bunhill Road

London

EC1Y 8YY

Dear Mrs. Mel Binks

My name is [redacted] and I am a second year student at the University of Durham. I am writing to apply for a training contract at Slaughter and May.

[Feedback: It’s normally best to use “Ms.” as a prefix for a female graduate recruitment manager where you are unsure whether she is married.  In this case, the application specifically states to address it to “Mrs Mel Binks”.]

Having carried out both legal and non-legal work experience, attended several open days and firm presentations and conducted substantial research into the profession, I am certain that I wish to pursue a career in commercial law. One of my primary reasons for this is because it offers the opportunity to work alongside talented and able individuals. I believe that this will be incredibly motivating, inspiring me to work to my best ability and continually develop my skills. Moreover, I enjoy my degree and therefore am eager to have a career connected with law which is engaging and intellectually stimulating. Additionally, through studying Economics at A-Level and keeping up-to date with financial news, I have developed a keen interest in current economic issues. Therefore I know that I would enjoy working in a commercially focused environment where my advice could have an impact on the decisions taken by the major companies who make up the client list. Furthermore, I am attracted by the international nature of much of the work undertaken by City law firms. I think that this would add a fascinating extra dimension to my work and be an ideal environment for developing my language skills.  Above all, I believe that the work I will carry out as a commercial solicitor will be both interesting and rewarding.

[Feedback: This is an excellent start to the application.  The first sentence deloys the rule of three to articulately set the tone for a well-written covering letter. 

The candidate provides five separate reasons why he is attracted to a career as a commercial lawyer.  It does come across as convincing, but it would have been better to focus on three key reasons and either develop them more fully or save the word count for other parts of the application.  Some reasons are stronger than others; for example, very few London-based lawyers get to put their foreign language skills to good use.  We recommend targeting depth over breadth when explaining your motivation for commercial law.

One other minor quibble is that words like “therefore”, “furthermore” and “additionally” are used extensively in the application.  This makes the writing style seem slightly essay-ish.]

I am applying to Slaughter and May because of its reputation for the highest quality work in an environment that is collegiate and congenial. Having carried out work experience at Bird & Bird and Travers Smith, I find both the size and focus of Slaughter and May very appealing. I believe that I will receive the best training at a City firm where I will have the opportunity to take on a large amount of individual responsibility in a multi-specialist environment in which I am not forced into a niche area of practice. The presentation by Slaughter and May at Durham University stood out and presented a very favourable image of a firm where lawyers take their work, but not themselves, seriously.  In addition, I am drawn by Slaughter and May strategy of organic growth whilst other firms pursue mergers and international expansion. From my research, it seems clear that this approach has not stopped the firm from completing excellent cross-border work in cooperation with its international partners and has preserved the firm's friendly and supportive culture.

[Feedback: Other than the missing apostrophe in the penultimate sentence (“...by Slaughter and May strategy…”), this is a well-researched and written explanation of why Slaughters.  The answer makes references to many of Slaughters’ distinctive qualities, such as its best friend network and multi-specialist approach to training.  It demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of Slaughter and May’s business model, which should be easy to write about because it is so distinctive. 

The key question that you should ask yourself when explaining why you are applying for a particular firm is whether the quality that you are citing is unique.  If it could be said of a competitor, you should question whether it is the best reason to cite.]

I believe that my experiences at university will ensure that I am well prepared for a career with a City law firm. My time management skills, organisational ability and interpersonal skills have been significantly improved by combining my academic studies with a position on Durham Law Society's executive committee and a part-time job.

[Feedback: This is the weakest part of the application.  If the candidate cut down the number of reasons in his first substantive paragraph, he could deploy the word count to greater effect here.  The point of this section is not to regurgitate your CV but to draw out any particularly unique attributes and to phrase in a light that shows why those achievements make you qualified for the job / have made you want to apply.  For example, balancing a part-time job with a testing degree and a full suite of extracurricular activities demonstrates organisational skills, resilience and dedication.  Given that your letter aims to convince your target employer to interview you in person, it’s worth expanding on these sorts of achievements.]

I hope that you will consider interviewing me for a training contract at Slaughter and May. I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.

[Feedback: The candidate’s structure is worth noting.  The candidate answers “why commercial law”, then “why the firm” and then “why him”. This makes a huge difference in terms of readability.  The letter has a natural flow and hits the key points without feeling forced.]

Yours sincerely,

[redacted name]

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Germaine VanGeyzel,

I graduated this year with a first class (hons) degree in Law from the University of [redacted]. I am writing to you to apply to Travers Smith's Winter Vacation Scheme.

[Feedback: Good, simple start.  It’s technically correct not to capitalise First Class but it looks a little odd.  We would stick with sentence case in this instance because it’s the norm.  The salutation is fine: lawyers use first and second names in formal letters because it means you do not need to use (and risk getting wrong) preferred pronouns like Mr, Mrs, Ms., Miss, etc.]

I have spent some time deciding on corporate law as a career choice. Throughout university, I attended various legal networking events and heard from several types of lawyers, and, as my work experience shows, I have taken various legal careers into consideration. A crucial factor in my decision has been that, in my third year of university, I excelled in an optional unit: Corporate Law Simulation. My peers and I were split into buyer and seller teams, seeing an M&A transaction through from client instruction to exchange and completion. We were given the opportunity to use PLC online to draft earn-out agreements, manage data rooms, and consider the need for business lawyers to adopt the role of transaction cost engineers and adapt to changes in the legal market. The collaborative and business-orientated aspects of applying commercial legal knowledge to the hypothetical deal persuaded me to pursue a career in commercial law.

[Feedback: It’s smart to emphasise that you have thoroughly researched a career as a commercial lawyer before diving in.  Law firms are cautious that some of the best candidates may not have properly thought through their decision to study law.  Tackling this head-on works well here, but the throwaway line that the candidate has “taken various legal careers into consideration” makes me wonder whether the candidate has also considered non-legal careers and, if not, why not?  This is easy fodder for a difficult question at interview - particularly at a firm like Travers where the partners revel in playing devil’s advocate at interview.

If you have attended any networking events hosted by the firm, say so.  Otherwise it’s fine to keep it vague like the candidate does here.

If you have done an experiential module like the candidate, you should definitely reference it in your application.  These modules can provide a realistic snapshot of M&A transactions, which can equip you with a more well-rounded perspective than any vacation scheme.  The candidate is correct to talk it up here.

Avoid long, essay-style sentences like the candidate uses here.  If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out.  This rule applies even if there isn’t a word count; the challenge is to pack as much quality into as few words as possible.]

Travers Smith's stellar reputation for corporate work is what initially drew me to the firm. Having thoroughly enjoyed Company and Corporate Law at university, I sought out firms which would provide me with high quality training with some of the leading lawyers in the field. Its reputation brings in business with household names like Pret, Cafe Nero and Burger King, and I would enjoy the intellectual challenge of working on complex and multifaceted transactions in the large teams working to represent them. I am also interested in doing a seat in disputes, which is currently an area of growth at Travers. Having undertaken a mini pupillage at Queen Square’s Chambers, I can see myself enjoying liaising with barristers in the disputes department. I feel that the analytical and persuasive skills the LLB has helped me to develop will serve me well in this area. I note that Travers acted for Hewlett-Packard in the UK’s biggest civil fraud trial; working on complex and high-profile cases such as this, at a time where Travers is becoming more renowned for litigation is an exciting prospect. Travers’ international strategy also makes the firm stand out. I had a fascinating conversation with James Longster about what the model achieves for the firm. Most interesting to me was the fact that Travers can tailor certain aspects of a transaction to the leading firm in the region for a given practice area. This approach is far more cost-effective than opening other offices around the world and ensures a high level of quality for clients. Having been to an international school at sixth form, which fostered a sense of international mindedness, the prospect of networking with law firms and clients from all over the world is appealing.

[Feedback: Having started with “why law”, the candidate moves on to “why Travers Smith”.  This is logical but deserves note because many candidates draft it in reverse. You should avoid bringing up the same point twice.  The candidate starts this paragraph by once again referring to academic legal modules.  There’s limited value to gain from this.  The candidate notes that Travers Smith has some of the leading lawyers who are active in corporate law.  While Travers certainly has some excellent lawyers, many other firms do too.  The candidate would do better to choose a more distinctive reason to start this section.

We like that the candidate refers specifically to a prominent matter that the firm acted on.  This is an easy win - simply look at Chambers Student, Legal Business and recent press releases by the firm to identify prominent matters.  You can also note the firm’s ranking by practice area in Legal 500 or Chambers & Partners.  If the firm is Band 1 or 2, it’s usually worth mentioning.

This is a long paragraph.  Use new paragraphs generously.  Structure your application like a professional email by including plenty of space to make your cover letter more readable.  The candidate should start a new paragraph when he or she refers to Travers’ international strategy.

You should specify whether a contact at the firm is a partner, associate or trainee.  While Travers has a small partnership, the same is not true of most firms in the city.  It’s better to ensure that the reviewer knows who you are referring to by stating their position upfront. 

The section on international strategy is relatively nuanced.  This is a strong effort to break down a contrarian approach to international expansion.  Slaughter and May, Macfarlanes and Travers Smith all include cogent explanations of their distinctive international strategies on their main websites, so start there if you need inspiration. 

I also feel that the training at Travers would suit my learning style. [Redacted trainee at Travers] spoke to me about his experience of sitting with a partner and an associate; this method of learning by osmosis sounds a lot like my experience of training as a Recruitment Resourcer. I have sat with my superiors and learned a lot about how they deal with difficult situations with clients and employees, and this has allowed me to mirror their professionalism. I also learn well in a team; I set up a study group for my Human Rights unit and consequently achieved a high first-class mark. The fact that Travers do not have chargeable hours indicates that collaboration and teamwork are truly important to the firm. Although I cannot claim to fully understand the culture of the firm without having spent time there on a vacation scheme, I can picture myself working well with the people I have met. The fact that a partner took an hour out of his day to call me and discuss the firm speaks volumes.

I am currently working in recruitment in order to save up to travel around South East Asia. I attend weekly Salsa classes and German lessons at the University of Surrey and in January, I will begin as a Paralegal at F-LEX to gain a greater insight into the legal profession. I feel that I would be an excellent fit for Travers because my academic record shows that I am determined and driven to achieve, and because of the skills and interests I have outlined throughout my application.

[Feedback: This final section is weaker than the rest of the application.  The candidate blends “why Travers Smith” with “why me”.  As noted above, our preferred format for a cover letter is: (1) why commercial law, (2) why firm and (3) why you.  In this case, there are separate questions which provide an opportunity to cover off the “why you” portion.  We would delete the final paragraph to make the letter more succinct, but if you want to keep it then you should at least break it out into a distinct paragraph. 

You should note that Travers does have chargeable hours; it just doesn’t have chargeable hour targets.  Law firms record the time spent on each matter and prepare invoices for clients based on the total time worked.  Some firms, like Travers Smith, do not have individual targets for their lawyers to hit (often linked to bonuses) but nonetheless still charge by the hour.  Based on the candidate’s next few words, it seems like he or she does understand this but the omitted word prompts the question.

The final sentence in the penultimate paragraph comes out of nowhere.  Is the candidate referring to her interaction with the partner James Longster?  The candidate needs to provide more context to make this remark meaningful.

As noted above, we would delete the final paragraph.  It adds little given the questions below.

Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Sincerely,

[redacted]

[Feedback: No need to capitalise “Sincerely”.]

[No question prompt provided]

Germaine VanGeyzel

Travers Smith LLP

10 Snow Hill

London

EC10 2AL

[Date of application]

Dear Germaine VanGeyzel,

I am writing to apply for a place on Travers Smith’s 2022 Winter Vacation Scheme. I am a final year law student at the University of [redacted] on track to obtain a First-Class degree. My ambition is to pursue a career as a transactional lawyer.

Feedback There is no harm in candidates writing a brief introductory sentence or two in their cover letters. This is usually a good idea for stylistic purposes. That said, the candidate should have made this paragraph much more concise. The recruiter will already be aware of the candidate’s university, degree stage and predicted grades from their CV/application form. It is not necessary to repeat that information here.

The final sentence also calls for improvement. Travers Smith is a full-service commercial law firm that deals with all aspects of commercial law, ranging from regulatory and contentious practice areas through to transactional departments. As such, the candidate should have replaced “transactional lawyer” with the more generic “commercial lawyer”. This would prevent the recruiter from drawing any negative inferences about this candidate’s motivations for Travers Smith.

That said, the candidate follows a sensible structure throughout the cover letter overall. We are neatly guided through (1) the candidate’s interest in commercial law, (2) the candidate’s interest in Travers Smith and (3) why Travers Smith should hire the candidate in three separate sections.

Three reasons have drawn me to a career in commercial law. The first is its focus on business.  Alongside my studies, I have frequently sought out experiences that encouraged me to grasp the complexities of the business world. I enjoyed exploring business trends and writing articles examining financial market developments at Watson's Daily. Moreover, as a Research Assistant at [online legal resource website] ("123"), I found it rewarding to create content on commercial topics such as equity financing and securitisation. During my time at TP ICAP's Insight Day, I also enjoyed learning more about complex OTC and exchange-traded derivative products from the perspective of a leading inter-dealer broker.

Feedback: The candidate follows a reasonably good structure here. They do so by (1) leading with their point, before (2) offering their personal experiences at Watson’s Daily and as a Research Assistant as evidence for the point, and then (3) explaining how that experience developed their interest in business. This makes the candidate’s argument straightforward to follow, and so it is easier to be persuaded by. You should also note how the candidate deploys good-quality evidence throughout the paragraph. We are given specific and named examples of the different events/work experiences which developed the candidate’s interest in business over time. This makes the candidate’s writing more impactful and persuasive overall. You should aim for similar levels of specificity/detail in your own writing. The candidate’s evidence is also well-explained overall. We are given a concise overview of the candidate’s key takeaways from each experience and how that ties in with their wider interest in business.

However, this paragraph suffers from two weaknesses. First, the central point is not tailored to commercial law. The candidate asserts an interest in commercial law’s “focus on business” but does not seem to grasp how business ties in with commercial law specifically. This makes the candidate’s writing generic. The candidate’s point could just as easily be applicable to any other career path requiring an interest in business, such as finance or investment banking. As such, this paragraph raises questions about the candidate’s motivations and whether they have truly thought carefully about a career in commercial law. They specifically mention “equity financing” and “securitisation” as points of interest without tying these into commercial law. In turn, this might lead a cynical recruiter to question why they did not just choose a career in finance instead.

Secondly, the candidate does not link their evidence back to commercial law specifically. While the candidate’s experiences do prove their commitment to a career in business more widely, they do not demonstrate a specific interest in commercial law. For instance, the candidate cites the Insight Day as evidence, but it is unclear how the topics of OTCs and exchange-traded derivatives relate to commercial law.

The candidate could have avoided these problems by following our recommended PEEL/AL structure (point, evidence, explanation/analysis, link back to point). You should start by (1) stating a reason for your interest in commercial law (P). Then, you should (2) offer specific and detailed evidence for that point and (3) explain how that evidence developed your interest in the point (E/E). Finally, you should end with a linking sentence that ties your evidence/explanations back to your point. This guarantees that your evidence justifies your point in full.

Secondly, commercial law's dynamic and intellectually intricate nature appeals to me.  Throughout my law degree, I often read beyond the subject material to ascertain how the modules apply in commercial settings. For instance, my study of Equity and Trusts led me to discover the practical use of Quistclose-style trusts in providing businesses with a vehicle to shield assets from insolvency. I am also drawn to how commercial lawyers respond to new challenges affecting their clients' business activities, such as the LIBOR transition and the emergence of ESG factors.

Feedback: This paragraph is an improvement on the previous one because its central point is more relevant to commercial law. The candidate is correct in stating the basic premise of commercial law, namely that it involves the application of law to commercial/business settings. This demonstrates at least a rudimentary understanding of what the career path involves. The candidate also makes good use of their personal experiences as a Law student, which makes their writing more persuasive overall. Nonetheless, the candidate could have drawn an even clearer link between their interest in trusts and their interests in commercial law. Had the candidate connected their Equity and Trusts example back in with their wider interest in commercial law (namely that it involves business and law as combined disciplines), then it would have made their motivations more convincing.

One point for improvement lies in the second part of this paragraph. The candidate states a new point, namely that they are interested in how commercial lawyers respond to “challenges” affecting their clients’ businesses, but this is not developed in full. The client name-drops the LIBOR transition and “ESG factors” but does not expand on these examples at all. As such, it is unclear whether the candidate even knows what LIBOR or ESG even mean, let alone how those examples tie in with the candidate’s interest in commercial law. This point is underdeveloped and so the candidate should have either cut it out or dedicated a separate paragraph to it.

To avoid this issue, we recommend that you prioritise depth over breadth in each of your paragraphs. You should stick to 1 point per paragraph, before developing each paragraph with specific examples and detailed analysis.

Finally, I want a client-oriented career. I have worked in various customer and client-facing roles during my academic studies. I enjoyed cultivating lasting relationships with clients as a painter and decorator. A career at Travers Smith will also offer me this opportunity to build and maintain relationships with corporate clients, such as investment banks and private equity firms. Further, I found handling customer requests and issues fulfilling as a waiter and customer assistant. 

Likewise, I look forward to investing in understanding clients' businesses and the industries they operate in as a commercial lawyer to deliver appropriate legal advice.

Feedback: Again, the candidate structures this paragraph reasonably well. The candidate leads in with a central point about their motivations. Then, the candidate briefly states a relevant personal example from their work as a painter/decorator and as a waiter/customer assistant. Finally, the candidate ends their paragraph by trying to draw a link between their personal experiences and their interest in commercial law.

The paragraph nonetheless has two points for improvement. First, the candidate’s central point is not particularly well-tailored to commercial law. While it is true that you will be handling clients and building lasting relationships as a commercial lawyer, this is the case for nearly any job in any industry. As such, the candidate’s reasoning is not precise enough. We would expect the candidate to have considered the client-facing elements of commercial law specifically. The candidate starts doing this in the final sentence of their paragraph, but we would expect this to be stated outright. As a rule of thumb, if you can swap out “commercial law” with another industry and your point makes as much sense, then it isn’t tailored enough.

Second, the candidate should have analysed their personal examples in much greater detail. While we are told that they “enjoyed cultivating lasting relationships”, we are not given any insight into how they did this, why they enjoyed it and how that relates to their point about commercial law. This point applies equally to the candidate’s writing about their waiter/customer assistant work. You should always flesh out your personal examples with specific, relevant details as far as you can.

We also believe that the candidate does not need to mention Travers Smith at this stage. The candidate is arguing for their interest in commercial law generally (as opposed to Travers specifically), so they should have instead developed their personal examples further. In any case, the candidate’s point about Travers Smith is generic and so should have been cut out.

Alongside this, two primary motivations have drawn me to Travers Smith. First, the firm's strength in capital markets appeals to me. Having created content on equity financing for 123, I enjoyed exploring the differences between the LSE's Main Market and AIM and the responsibilities of key parties in the IPO process. Furthermore, at Watson's Daily, I found the proliferation of SPAC listings during the pandemic intriguing and questioned whether the craze was sustainable. Chambers ranks Travers Smith's Equity Capital Markets: AIM department in Band 1. In addition, the firm advises high-calibre underwriters and nominated advisors, including HSBC, Investec and Peel Hunt. It is also home to prominent capital market lawyers such aas Adrian West and Andrew Gillen, who have both led several Main Market and AIM listings.  Accordingly, a career at Travers Smith will offer me the opportunity to work in a reputable department alongside market-leading lawyers to develop my understanding of this dynamic practice area.

Feedback: The candidate now moves onto their motivations for Travers Smith. As with the “why commercial law” section, we recommend following the PEEL/AL structure here. You should (1) state a well-tailored reason for your interest in commercial law (“P”), (2) provide specific and detailed evidence which justifies that point (“E”), (3) explain how that evidence developed your interest in the point (“E”/”A”) and (4) conclude by linking your evidence/explanations back to the point.

This is a strong paragraph overall. First, the candidate structures their paragraph well. They lead in with a good point about Travers Smith before spending the rest of their paragraph analysing specific and detailed evidence about their points. You should note the candidate’s depth of research. The candidate uses Chambers rankings and specific named clients/lawyers. This transforms the candidate’s generic point (i.e. Travers is good at capital markets work) into a well-tailored argument demonstrating that the candidate has thought carefully about Travers. The candidate also does reasonably well in tying this research back into their own interest in capital markets. We are given a specific example from the candidate’s work at Watson’s Daily. This makes the candidate’s motivations seem genuine and persuasive overall.

You should also note how the candidate discusses Travers Smith’s work as their first motivational point. We always recommend that you prioritise a law firm’s work/practice area strengths, before moving onto the training and culture as lesser priorities if you have space. This is because the law firm’s work/practice strengths are concrete and objective factors, whereas culture/training are subjective matters. It is hard to convince recruiters of your interest in the training/culture unless you have actually worked there, whereas the work/practice strengths provide objective factors for you to discuss.

Regardless, the candidate should have improved this answer in two regards. First, the candidate should have provided more detail about their own interest in capital markets. They assert an interest in capital markets from their work at Watson’s Daily, but they do not explain what interested them about this nor how that relates to Travers Smith’s capital markets work specifically. We would expect a clearer link between the candidate’s interest in SPAC listings and their wider interest in Travers Smith. Secondly, the candidate’s final few sentences contribute little to their paragraph. Any major City law firm will offer you opportunities to work alongside “leading” capital markets lawyers. This is not unique to Travers. The candidate should have cut these sentences out in favour of more detailed analysis elsewhere.

There is also a typo – the candidate spells “aas” when it should have been “as”. You need to be extremely cautious about making typos. Training contracts are now so competitive that law firms will reject your application on the basis of one typo. This is the case even if the rest of your application is good. As such, you must proofread each sentence carefully and run your application through spell-checkers.

My second motivation is Travers Smith's room-sharing system. Having worked as a painter and decorator during the summer of my first year of university, I quickly adjusted to the nature of the work by observing my employer prepare surfaces, interact with clients, and operate tools and machinery. Accordingly, this summer, I have taken on greater responsibility, managed projects independently and built connections with clients and tradespeople. Similarly, during my week's work experience at [local solicitors' firm], I shared an office with a Senior Conveyancing Solicitor. Such a system allowed me to confidently discuss points of law and process and engage in insightful tasks such as legal drafting and research. As such, sharing a room with a partner and an associate during my training contract at Travers Smith will ensure I better grasp the work in a contentious or corporate seat and unlock my potential during the early stages of my career at the firm.

Feedback: The candidate now moves on to their interest in Travers’ training contract approach. This is fine if you focus on objective factors concerning the firm’s training structure (as the candidate has done here). The candidate has identified an objective feature about Travers’ training before explaining why it interests them and how their personal examples tie in with that interest.

The key strength in this paragraph lies in their discussion of their work experience at a local solicitor’s firm. The candidate identifies a specific example of a time they shared an office with a senior solicitor, before explaining how they benefit from that experience and why an office-sharing system appeals to them as a result. The candidate’s “link” section of PEEL/AL is also strong here. The candidate neatly links their experience at the solicitor’s office back in with their interest in Travers Smith’s room-sharing system. They explain clearly what the system involves and how that system would benefit them as a trainee commercial solicitor, just as their experience with the Senior Conveyancing Solicitor helped them previously. This means that the candidate’s reasoning for Travers Smith comes across as thoughtful and genuine.

The main point for improvement lies in the candidate’s discussion of their painter/decorating work. The candidate describes the work in detail and explains what they took away from it, but it is unclear how this example is relevant to their interest in Travers Smith’s room-sharing system. This example reads like it was shoehorned in and would have been better used elsewhere in the cover letter. The candidate could have cut this example out altogether in favour of more detailed discussion of the Senior Conveyancing Solicitor example.

Accordingly, three qualities make me an ideal candidate. The first is my interest in business affairs. My experiences with 123, Watson's Daily and TP ICAP demonstrate that I am inquisitive and can comprehend complex business concepts. Therefore, this will motivate me to read around the matter being worked on and monitor business trends relevant to clients during my training contract at Travers Smith.

Feedback: The candidate now moves onto the final “why you” section of their cover letter. We recommend that you highlight no more than 3 qualities separated into paragraphs. You should (1) state your quality, (2) provide specific personal examples demonstrating why you have that quality and how you developed it, before (3) linking your experience/qualities back into why that will make you a good commercial lawyer at Travers Smith.

This is a weak paragraph overall. The candidate asserts (validly) that their grasp of business affairs will help them at Travers Smith. However, the candidate offers little substantiating evidence or examples in support of this point. It is not self-evident that their experiences at the Watson’s Daily/TP ICAP/123 mean they are “inquisitive” and can “comprehend complex business concepts”. We would expect the candidate to identify a specific, detailed example from one of these experiences. Then, we would expect the candidate to analyse how they developed the relevant skills from this example before linking this analysis back to Travers Smith. The candidate does not do this here, instead expecting the recruiter to understand their experiences without further explanation.

Another minor issue is that the candidate’s identified skill is not entirely relevant to commercial law (particularly at trainee level). Businesses hire commercial lawyers for their ability to provide tailored legal advice. They do not hire lawyers for the purpose of giving them general business advice. Clients certainly would not expect a trainee solicitor to advise them on relevant business trends. As such, the candidate would have needed to explain why their interest in business allows them to give better advice as a commercial lawyer.

Secondly, I possess strong interpersonal skills. Alongside my customer and client-facing roles, I frequently interacted with others during my time on the [redacted] University Law Society committee and Pro Bono projects. To ensure I facilitated streamlined work environments and maintained my service delivery, I worked around team preferences and strived to develop personal connections. Accordingly, as a trainee solicitor at Travers Smith, I will be able to work well in a team and connect with a range of individuals and external parties, including fee earners, clients and the firm's 'Best Friend' network.

Feedback: This paragraph is a slight improvement on the previous. The candidate does slightly better in linking their interpersonal skills back in with the need to be a good team player at Travers Smith. The candidate also deploys general examples from their time on various Law-related committees and projects. This makes their writing slightly more persuasive overall.

That said, this paragraph suffers similar flaws to the previous. First, the candidate offers little in the way of substantiating examples or evidence for their point. They vaguely assert that they “facilitated streamlined work environments” and “worked around preferences”, but they do not explain specifically how they worked in a team successfully nor why that led to a positive outcome. This means the recruiter is given no insight into what the candidate’s interpersonal skills are nor how they used said skills to achieve success. We would expect candidates to explain how they worked in a team, before providing a detailed and specific outcome because of their actions.

Secondly, the concluding “link” sentence is weak. The candidate shoehorns in details such as the “Best Friend” network but does not offer any insight into how they would deploy their interpersonal skills in this context. This demonstrates that the candidate has a limited understanding of how they would apply interpersonal skills as a trainee. We would expect the candidate to do more thorough research into the role of trainees at Travers, before explaining how their skills tie in with that research.

Finally, I am resilient. Throughout my studies, I have regularly balanced my academic workload, multiple positions of responsibility and part-time work. As a result, I quickly acquired vital skills and developed self-discipline to prioritise tasks and meet deadlines. Therefore, I will be able to manage demanding workloads and weighted priorities to meet client expectations and deadlines throughout my training contract at Travers Smith.

Feedback: The candidate does somewhat better in linking their experiences back into the work they will do at Travers Smith. It is crucial that trainees know how to manage competing deadlines and priorities during their training contract, and it seems the candidate has a good grasp of this.

That said, this final paragraph suffers similar flaws to the previous. The candidate asserts that they learned how to prioritise tasks/meet deadlines due to their various responsibilities. However, we are given no insight into how they prioritised their time and why that helped them achieve a positive outcome as a result. We would expect the candidate to detail the steps they took and how they achieved a substantial positive outcome as a consequence.

The example is also not particularly impressive. Nearly every candidate will have juggled academic workloads, positions of responsibility and part-time work. Law firms have a basic expectation that you will be able to do this. As such, the candidate needed to provide a higher-quality example demonstrating that they are exceptional at managing competing deadlines or responsibilities.

Thank you for taking the time to review my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

[Redacted]

Feedback:: It is crucial that you adopt a sensible structure in your cover letter.  Vinson & Elkins (“V&E”) offer you free rein over what you include in your letter. We recommend that you split the cover letter into three distinct sections explaining (1) why commercial law, (2) why V&E and (3) why you. The rationale is that you start broad and then you gradually focus on why you are worth interviewing. The candidate has followed that structure here.

[No question prompt provided]

Dear Mr Nealon,

Having attended the Vinson & Elkins (“V&E”) stand at Legal Cheek’s November Law Fair, I gained an introductory insight into the culture and unique qualities of the firm. This established a great desire to gain a more detailed and thorough understanding of the opportunities, support, and career progression that the firm offers to its trainees. Therefore, please accept this cover letter and enclosed information as application for the V&E vacation scheme commencing in 2022.

Feedback: There is no harm in writing a brief introductory paragraph to outline the points you will cover in your letter. However, this candidate’s introduction is somewhat verbose. Much of this candidate’s writing could have been cut down so that they concisely outline the purpose of the letter and the points they will cover. For instance:

“Therefore, please accept this cover letter and enclosed information as application for the V&E vacation scheme commencing in 2022.”.

This could easily have been cut down to:

“I am writing to apply for the V&E vacation scheme in 2022”.

You should remember that recruiters are testing your ability to write succinctly throughout, even if they do not confine you to a word limit.

I am increasingly motivated to pursue a career in commercial law due to my legal extra-curriculars which have given me a greater understanding of the nature of the work undertaken by commercial lawyers. So far, I have completed two Virtual Programmes where I explored white-collar defence and corporate law more generally. I consolidated information from various documents into single summary pages and drafted emails tailored to supervisors and clients. In the second programme, I also gained insights into project finance, banking, and litigation and arbitration. I was intrigued by the multi-jurisdictional aspect of corporate law, particularly when exploring how lenders can mitigate counterparty credit risk when undertaking project finance transactions in emerging markets. I enjoyed these snapshot exposures to commercial law, which further developed my interest in international and issue-related cases, both areas which I believe a career at V&E would enable me to explore.

Feedback: The objective of this first paragraph is good because it addresses immediately the first key point of a commercial law firm cover letter: why commercial law. We would recommend that you include at least two reasons for your interest in the commercial solicitor profession, since this will demonstrate that you understand what the career path involves. The candidate has broadly done this, by touching upon two reasons why commercial law interests them (namely the multijurisdictional aspect and the risk-mitigation aspect).

Whilst this candidate has offered strong and detailed personal examples that evidence their interest in commercial law, this paragraph does not offer meaningful explanation as to why these features of commercial law interest the candidate. We are told that the candidate took interest in the multi-jurisdictional aspect of commercial law. However, the candidate never explains what specifically interests them about multi-jurisdictional work nor how it links back to their wider interest in this career path. The candidate also touches upon the risk-mitigation aspect of commercial law but does not explain how this feature relates back to their interest in commercial law. As such, the paragraph is somewhat incomplete and lacking in substance at places.

As a rule of thumb, you should follow the PEEL/AL structure: point, evidence, explanation/analysis (of the evidence) and the link (to the point/the overall thrust of the argument). This guarantees that all your points are well-substantiated, and the reader can follow (and so be persuaded by) your overall argument.

As with the previous paragraph, the candidate’s writing is verbose and tends to rely on long-winded sentences. The candidate frequently uses sentences in excess of 30 words. This can make the candidate’s writing convoluted and harder to follow at times. Where you can split up or shorten a sentence, you should do so. This will convince recruiters that you can write succinctly. We would also add that there is no need to link your wider motivations for commercial law back to V&E at this stage (as the candidate tenuously does so at the end). You will have ample opportunities to discuss your interest in V&E elsewhere in the letter.

V&E stands out to me because of its commitment to its warm, Texan sensibility which uniquely combines with its excellence across complex areas of law. Associate, Afzaal Abidi, highlighted that this rare combination leads to a supportive, high-performing atmosphere which goes to the heart of the firm’s culture. It also enables a route to authenticity allowing individuals to be people, as well as lawyers. As an ambitious elite rower who prises symbiotic teamwork to achieve personal and collective goals, I am keen to work in an environment that aligns with these values, and I believe V&E is singularly placed to achieve this.

Feedback: This paragraph shifts focus onto the second crucial topic of a commercial law letter: why this particular firm. The candidate structures this paragraph well. First, the candidate leads their paragraph by answering the question directly. They start outright with “V&E stands out to me because...”. This helps focus the candidate’s writing and makes it far easier for the recruiter to follow (and so be persuaded by) the candidate’s overarching argument. Secondly, the candidate follows the PEEL/AL structure well here. The candidate leads by stating that they are drawn to V&E’s unique culture (P) and substantiates this with specific research from their conversations with a V&E associate (E). The candidate also explains why this culture appeals to them by drawing upon a specific example from their sporting activities (E/A). Finally, the candidate draws a neat link back to the overall point (namely that only V&E can offer them this culture – L). This makes the candidate’s argument easy to follow.

You should also note that the candidate details their point with specific, personalised research. The candidate supports their point by discussing a specific named individual at the firm and exploring that individual’s experiences at V&E. This makes the candidate’s argument more authentic and demonstrates that they have conducted thorough research into V&E prior to their application.

That said, we typically advise against discussing the firm’s culture as your primary/leading point. This is because you cannot truly convince a recruiter that you appreciate a firm’s culture unless you have worked there previously. Since the candidate is applying for a vacation scheme, it can be presumed that the candidate has no experience of working at V&E day-to-day. As such, you should prioritise objective factors such as the firm’s work or training structure. If you have space, you can then discuss the firm’s culture provided you can back it up with specific evidence/examples (as this candidate has done).

The candidate also uses pompous and flowery language at times. Firstly, it is not clear what the candidate means by “Texan sensibility” and in any case this comes across as somewhat corny. The mere fact that V&E is headquartered in Texas does not mean that this culture will carry over to the London office. Secondly, the candidate describes themselves as someone who “prises symbiotic teamwork”. Nobody talks like this in real life. You should always abandon academic/flowery language in favour of accessible, concise language that recruiters can understand quickly and easily.

The candidate also misspells “prizes” as “prises”. You should stamp out typos such as this as far as possible. This is because recruiters continually assess your English proficiency, and so they may reject you based on just one error.

I am also drawn to the global nature of the work available at V&E, highlighted by partner, Alex Msimang, who emphasised the consistent challenges of enabling every client from jurisdictions around the globe to understand and benefit from deals. The high calibre of worldwide expertise is reflected in the firm’s ranking within the Global Investigations Review 100. Impressively, this independent guide to the world’s best firms for international investigations has ranked V&E every year since its inauguration in 2015. This appeals to me as I thrive on challenges, which is a skill I have honed over time in response to difficult situations, such as achieving excellent academic results despite caring for a critically ill younger sibling.

Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate continues to elaborate on their motivations for working at V&E. The candidate includes specific and detailed evidence demonstrating their high level of research of, and commitment to, V&E. The candidate also demonstrates evidence of an interaction with a firm representative. Not only does this act as good supporting evidence for the candidate’s point, but it also evidences the candidate’s genuine interest in working at V&E. Referencing named individuals is always a good idea, as this candidate has done so several times in this application. The paragraph is also structured sensibly. The candidate once again follows the PEEL/AL structure, which makes their argument easier to follow overall.

The reason for the candidate’s motivation is also chosen well. It links to one of the core aspects of V&E, namely its global nature. What is particularly impressive is that the candidate demonstrates high levels of research into V&E, which helps tailor the candidate’s point to the firm overall. Many candidates will assert that they want to join a firm simply because it has X number of offices in Y number of jurisdictions, which does not sufficiently tailor their point to the specific firm. By comparison, the candidate names specific awards and rankings for V&E. This suggests that V&E offers something to the candidate which other global law firms might not.

However, we would recommend that, as far as the constraints of the question permit, you argue your points from the evidence you have provided as opposed to simply asserting your interest. For example, the candidate asserts that they are drawn to V&E’s global nature because they “thrive on challenges” but they do not explain why these appeal to them. The candidate also does not tie their personal example back in with their wider interest in V&E’s global work. As such, the candidate demonstrates high levels of factual knowledge about V&E but never explains why V&E’s global work appeals to the candidate specifically.

I am further interested in V&E because of its expertise in the energy sector. Having worked at BP plc (a client of V&E), I am eager to explore how the firm interacts with its clients in the energy industry and how it is also developing its practice alongside the transition to green energy. The firm’s recognition as “Energy Group of the Year”, by Law360 from 2010 to 2020 is a great testament to their impressive work in this industry. Recent evidence of this is the firm’s involvement in Osaka Gas’ acquisition of Sabine Oil & Gas, the first time that a Japanese company has purchased a US-based shale gas developer. The success of this transaction is seen in its recognition as “Best Oil and Gas Acquisition – Upstream” by IJInvestor in their 2020 Acquisition Awards. Considering this alongside COP26 highlights the difficulties of balancing energy security with environmental and business sustainability, and I am keen to see how the firm adapts to this changing environment and, as a result, the needs of their clients.

Feedback: The candidate’s reason for V&E is well-chosen here.  It drives to the very centre of V&E’s work, namely its unique expertise in energy, which intersects naturally with wider commercial topics such as energy security and ESG. The candidate’s research is also highly specific and detailed. Not only are we told about various awards and rankings the firm has won, but the candidate also offers a specific example of a deal V&E has worked on. This helps tailor the candidate’s central point specifically to V&E. You should note how the candidate’s research helps them differentiate V&E from its other London competitors in the energy sector, such as Clifford Chance and Shearman & Sterling. To test whether your own answers are sufficiently well-tailored, you should replace “V&E” with the name of another competing law firm. If the answer makes just as much sense afterwards, then your reasoning is not specific enough to V&E.

Once again, the candidate needs to improve this paragraph by tying their research into V&E back in with their own personal motivations. The candidate would have needed to offer greater explanations for the stated evidence, before explicitly linking it back to their personal motivations for wanting to join V&E. The candidate tells us a lot of facts about V&E but does not truly explain why energy interests them. Make sure that, when writing your answer regarding firm motivation, you present a detailed and sensible analysis of your personalised evidence before linking said analysis back to your original point.

Furthermore, the firm’s dedication to diversity is hugely appealing. As a woman with [redacted African country] and [redacted Asian country] heritage, it is important for me to join a firm that actively seeks to prevent discrimination and promote diversity of thought. This not only enables more creative solutions to problems, but also helps to foster a more comfortable working environment. V&E’s commitment to diversity and inclusion (“D&I”) is clear through their compulsory D&I training for juniors, associates, and partners as well as affinity groups including the Women’s Initiative and LGBTQ+ alliance. As of October 2021, 17% of the firm’s trainees were ethnically diverse, and I am eager to see how that translates to partner level in the future.

Feedback: The candidate continues to follow the PEEL structure well here. We are provided convincing reasons for the candidate’s personal interest in V&E’s diversity initiatives, as well as some specific details and statistics to back up the candidate’s point about V&E’s dedication to diversity. The candidate also writes concisely and gets straight to the point. This all makes the candidate’s line of reasoning easy to follow. We can clearly ascertain (1) what interests the candidate about V&E, (2) evidence of the candidate’s specific and detailed research into V&E’s diversity strategy and (3) the candidate’s personal motivations for wanting to join a diverse and inclusive firm.

That said, if you focus on diversity as a central motivational point then you must tailor it to the firm carefully. This is because every global law firm in the City now has a robust Diversity, Equity & Inclusion strategy (including compulsory training) as well as similar initiatives/affinity groups to the ones identified by the candidate here. Most firms are enjoying similar levels of success on this front as well. As such, the candidate could have tailored their answer even more closely to V&E by offering further analysis on V&E’s diversity statistics and perhaps comparing these to one of V&E’s competitors. It is helpful to refer to diversity as a secondary motivation for joining a firm (as the candidate does here), but you should not rely on it completely.

The firm’s small, non-rotational seat system is also hugely appealing. The possibility of working on matters from beginning to end ensures trainees can experience the different stages of a deal and understand how transactions are structured in greater holistic detail. By working in smaller teams, a more collegial environment can be fostered promoting a more productive work environment, thus enabling the firm to provide clients with timely and innovative solutions. The strength of this system was evident during “An Evening with V&E” event, where Nadine Amr confirmed that it directly correlated to the high quality of training that she received at V&E along with other trainees.

Feedback: As with previous paragraphs, the candidate demonstrates a clear grasp of what the non-rotational structure involves. They also back this up again by citing an event they attended and a named individual they listened to. This demonstrates the candidate’s commitment to V&E and makes their point more convincing overall. The candidate has also ordered their points sensibly overall, by dealing with the firm’s training structure after they explored the firm’s work.

The paragraph again lacks a link back to the candidate’s personal motivations. While the candidate convincingly explains why this system benefits trainees more widely, they do not offer any personal examples/analysis explaining why this structure appeals to them specifically. The candidate would have needed to complete their argument by tying in their personal motivations back to the point.

We would also note that the candidate’s point is imprecise. V&E only offers this non-rotational structure in the second year of the training contract. The first year follows the traditional 6-month seat structure. Had the candidate made this clear and explained why this combined structure appeals to them, then their answer would be more well-tailored to V&E. This feature makes V&E unique against other non-rotational law firms (such as Jones Day) and so the candidate should have pointed this out.

Working as a director at [redacted organisation which works to improve access to law] has reinforced my motivation to be part of a small team. I was an integral part of a team seeking to innovate the well-established negotiation competition format with an additional client interview element. Preparing for this developed my emotional intelligence and social skills as well as reinforcing my entrepreneurial mindset, all key skills for lawyers who must adapt and grow to provide a greater client service. This role has also enabled me to maintain my commercial awareness, as I regularly contribute to the network newsletter, summarising current news and assessing its relevance to the legal industry. This is a particularly important skill for lawyers as it allows them to keep abreast of issues that could affect clients, enabling them to give more relevant advice.

Feedback: In these final paragraphs, the candidate answers the final key element in commercial law cover letters: why you. As with motivational questions, we recommend following the PEEL/AL structure in this section. You should concisely identify a specific competency you have which makes you suited to a career in commercial law, before offering a specific and detailed personal example and analysing how you have developed this competency through this example. Then, you should link your evidence/analysis back to the central point about why this makes you suited to a career in commercial law. The candidate has broadly followed this structure here, by identifying that they can work competently in small teams and backing this up with an example.

The candidate also implicitly links their experience back to V&E by explaining that it developed their ability to work competently in a small team. Where possible, you should link your competencies back to a career at V&E as far as possible. This will convince the recruiter that you have the skills needed to succeed at V&E in the long term, as opposed to any other firm in the City.

To improve, the candidate should have spent more time unpacking how they developed the various competencies from this experience as opposed to simply listing these out. For example, the candidate asserts that they developed “emotional intelligence” and an “entrepreneurial mindset” by running negotiation competitions. This is unconvincing because the candidate never drills down on what they did and how this demonstrates said competencies. Instead of merely listing competencies, the candidate should have identified 1 or 2 skills and analysed in detail how they developed these skills through their experience.

In addition to the above, I am confident I would be suited to being a commercial lawyer because of my resourcefulness and research skills. I further developed these skills working at [redacted retail company], as a marketing assistant where I took the initiative to teach myself to use graphic design software and technology monitoring broad-spectrum customer demographics, enabling me to work with managers to better provide for client needs. This required a strong analytical ability to retain and understand new information quickly, a crucial skill when working in fast-paced legal environments where clients expect both speed and quality in the solutions offered to them.

Feedback: The candidate does well to set out a variety of experiences throughout this section, and they appear to order them logically. The candidate began by discussing a key position of responsibility in their previous section, before now moving on to the skills they picked up during their work experience. You should not undervalue your skills gained from work experience. These can demonstrate an enormous range of competencies, from professionalism and an ability to work in teams through to taking the initiative and thinking innovatively. As such, you should not shy away from discussing work experience even if you have already mentioned it elsewhere in your application. The candidate also does reasonably well in tying their experiences back to their suitability for a career in law.

The candidate does slightly better in unpacking their resourcefulness/research competencies here. The candidate not only asserts that they have these skills, but they also flesh this out by describing how they taught themselves to use technology and graphic design software. This makes the candidate’s point far more convincing overall. That said, the candidate again slips into telling rather than showing their competencies towards the end. The candidate asserts that they applied analytical skills but it is never explained how this is the case. To avoid this problem, we recommend focusing on one key competency per paragraph and developing your point in full.

My passion for corporate law and my subsequent pursuit for a career at V&E has been greatly developed by my legal and non-legal work experiences. Moreover, my positions of responsibility such as being Health Secretary of [redacted society at Russell Group university] in 2020-21 and being elected as Secretary of [redacted Russell Group university] University Boat Club twice between 2019-2021, highlights my desire for greater responsibility and the ability to contribute to executive decision-making. My role involved organising logistics with rowing coaches and other sports staff, where I learned to vocalise various issues succinctly and professionally, a vital attribute for lawyers.

Feedback: Law firms appreciate the extracurricular work you do with society/sports teams, as it demonstrates a range of key competencies ranging from your time management skills through to your drive and ability to work well in teams. Even if your experience is not law-related, you can still demonstrate the key competencies commercial law firms look for by discussing your wider sporting/extra-curricular activities. In this case, the candidate’s experience with the boat club also makes her seem like a well-rounded person.

As with previous paragraphs, we would have advised the candidate to spend more time unpacking her examples and providing further context to her first position as a Health Secretary. This would have given the recruiter a complete insight into how the candidate’s abilities developed over time by participating in this society.

As someone who thrives on learning and development, I hope the above demonstrates my desire to work at a firm which corresponds with my ambition and to recognise my ability to thrive within it. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Feedback: This final paragraph reads as somewhat pompous and should be cut down. Typically, you do not need to sign off cover letters with anything other than “Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.”. This will help demonstrate that you can write in a concise and professional manner.

1229 WORDS

Yours sincerely,

Feedback: This cover letter has strong elements and evidences a candidate who has made reasonable efforts to tailor their application to V&E. The letter also follows a sensible structure overall, which makes each of the candidate’s points relatively easy to follow.

Aside from writing in a pompous and flowery manner at times, the candidate’s main point for improvement would be to increase the specificity of the answers. While name-dropping facts, people and events evidence high-level research and deeper commitment to the firm, it is vital that you give an explanation as to how this evidence substantiates your argument. Given that the candidate’s cover letter is already quite long, the candidate could have written more concisely (and perhaps cut out points about V&E’s culture if needed) so that they would have space to achieve this.

Cover letter

[Feedback: It is vital that you adopt an effective structure in your cover letter.  You should split the cover letter into distinct sections and write 2 - 3 compelling points for each section.  We recommend the following approach: (1) why commercial law, (2) why this particular firm and (3) why you.  You start broad and gradually zoom in on why you are worth interviewing.  This candidate broadly adopts the correct structure, but there is considerable fusion of sections that we typically advise candidates to keep distinct (i.e., separately say why you are interested in commercial law, why W&C appeals and then why you are well-suited to the demands of a career as a commercial lawyer).

Our headline comment is that the candidate should split the text into multiple paragraphs.  Long, text-heavy paragraphs are hard to follow and unappealing.  Commercial solicitors provide a lot of written advice by email.  They’re meticulous about splitting text into multiple paragraphs because they know it improves readability.  You should make sure that you do the same.]

Being a corporate lawyer involves an equal focus on the provision of unparalleled legal services, as well as corporate and business sustainability, although recently there has been an increased focus on the latter due to the changing business environment. My interest in corporate law started in 2016 during my international legal internship with White & Case in Abu Dhabi, which gave me an insight into the fast-paced, complex and multi-faceted nature of corporate law. Working alongside Partners developed my interest in international and issue-related cases involving areas such as energy and infrastructure. Assisting on project finance cases, where researching local laws, strategising dispute claims and meeting client needs highlighted the multidimensional and innovative nature of corporate law. My daily tasks during my internship involved researching and drafting documents and keeping up to-date with the ever-evolving nature of law and the climate it operates under. I was also attracted to the multi-jurisdictional work of the Abu Dhabi team, and the use of Shari'ah-compliant techniques when advising clients in Islamic finance. Due to the partner-led nature of teams at White & Case, I was able to gain a direct insight into high-value legal work where I employed my research skills to further understand client ambitions. Being an expert and highly experienced is vital for a corporate lawyer, thus my History degree has prepared me for the research-heavy role of a corporate lawyer. The innovative drive of corporate law firms, often places them as pioneers in their filed, and White & Case has exceedingly proven this by being leaders in not only many practice areas, but also in diversity - epitomised by White & Case being the first major international firm to have appointed an Emirati lawyer to its global partnership.

[Feedback: This candidate has fantastic work experience with the very firm that she’s applying to, which is obviously fantastic.  If the work experience was obtained through a competitive application process then the candidate should make this clear.  Graduate Recruitment’s default assumption for “internships” within law firms that are not formal vacation schemes is that the work experience was obtained through a connection.  They’re less likely to attribute much weight to the work experience when reviewing your application if this is the case.

However, the candidate does use the work experience well to demonstrate an advanced understanding of what a career as a lawyer at a top commercial firm entails.  Among other things, the candidate correctly identifies that (1) you do not provide legal advice in a vacuum: you must consider the commercial context to your work as well; (2) legal work involves considerable research and drafting of documents; and (3) the work you are involved in can differ by jurisdiction, with the peculiar requirements of Islamic finance being a case in point.

On the negative side, the candidate makes a few spelling and grammatical errors in her application.  Examples include “...pioneers in their filed..” and clumsy sentences like “Being an expert and highly experienced is vital for a corporate lawyer…”.  The candidate was lucky not to get rejected for these errors.  You must carefully review your application.  Lawyers are notorious perfectionists and you cannot count on the same luck in your application to White & Case!]

My recent visit to White & Case, as part of the Rare Articles Development Programme, allowed me to gain an insight into the ambitious and entrepreneurial side of White & Case. Partner Haley Denvinl highlighted how the firm prides itself in providing ‘full-serviced teams’ where all client needs are met, especially because of White & Case’s ‘geographical depth’. White & Case is home to exceptional award-winning lawyers who focus on complex and technical issues in areas such as financial markets, international arbitration and disputes, many who have been recognised by the ‘Who's Who Legal – Future Leaders’ awards. Thus White & Cases’s ability to create leaders and entrepreneurs in legal practise areas is appealing mirrors my own desire for greater responsibility and leadership. Having been elected Head Girl of both my secondary school and sixth form, I am looking forward to taking on roles of such responsibility as a lawyer at White and Case. Finally, White & Case’s delivery of expertise and professionalism ensures that long-lasting clients are made, as well as new techniques are developed to give the firm a competitive edge. The firms ‘2020 Growth Strategy” which aims to nurture growth in four key areas of financial institutions, private equity, technology and oil & gas will propel the firm as a truly elite global law firm. White & Case has already taken steps towards this, as highlighted by Associate Gabriel Onagoruwa during the Rare Articles Development Sessions (September 2017) thus White & Case’s ambition and growing strength in emerging markets makes it an ideal law firm for a vacation scheme, training contract and a long-term legal career.

[Feedback:  Law firms are keen sponsors on diversity initiatives such as those run by Rare Recruitment.  If you’re part of such a programme then you should definitely draw attention to it in your cover letter.

Our general view is that this candidate has a solid understanding of application writing technique and has researched White & Case well, but the quality of her communication falls short of the required standard.  There’s a few examples of this: (1) “practise” is an Americanism; even if you are applying to a US law firm, you should use British English (“practice”) and (2) it’s a bit strange to quote someone in a cover letter: “full-serviced teams” would seem much more natural if it was paraphrased.

Nonetheless, the candidate is correct to weave in the names of people that she has met and interacted with into the application.  Ideally, you will have spoken to the partner, associate or trainee 1-1 and they will remember you should Grad Recruitment ask them if they know you, but if you have simply seen them speak at an event then that’s fine but you should make the context clear. 

We dislike sentences like “...new techniques are developed to give the firm a competitive edge.” This is very generic.  We’re not sure whether the candidate could provide a single example of this if challenged. 

In general, we like the Point, Evidence and Explanation structure for cover letters (and STAR for interviews).  So the candidate should note something about W&C that they like, provide substantive evidence of that attribute (e.g., an award or recent transaction) and then explain why it is important to them).]

My passion for corporate law and the subsequent pursuit for a career at White & Case was greatly developed by my various legal and non-legal work experiences. Moreover, my positions of responsibility such as being Secretary of UCL Human Rights Society in 2017, and being re-elected as the Vice-president in 2018, highlights my desire to attain greater responsibility and contribute in executive decision-making. My role often involved presenting to students and staff members, where I learned to vocalise various issues in a succinct and professional matter - an attribute which is vital for lawyers. Additionally, my History and Politics degree has developed my research skills, and I am able to successfully deal with extensive readings and meet deadlines simultaneously. This is key for a law firm such as White & Case who pride themselves on providing exceptional client service from due-diligence tasks to final executions of contracts. I am currently volunteering as a legal intern at the Afghan and Central Asia Association (ACAA) - a charity which aims to legally empower refugees in the UK. My role has taught me resilience and patience, as well as taking initiative by learning areas of law that are outside my area of interest. I am very interested in pro bono work due to my interest in both law and humanitarian issues. I was drawn to White & Case’s Global probing practise and it was refreshing to see that in 2017 White & Case lawyers billed more than 108,000 hours of pro bono work. Thus, as a future lawyer at White and Case, I am to contribute significantly to White & Case probing initiative.

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

[Feedback:  This candidate has some excellent work experience beyond her degree (e.g., UCL Human Rights Society and Afghan and Central Asia Association).  It’s clear that human rights is a passion.  When called to interview, the candidate should be ready to convincingly explain why she’s not pursuing a career as a human rights lawyer given her clear interest, but it is nonetheless refreshing to see such extracurricular activities.

It’s a small point, but the candidate is correct to note that they were elected to their position of responsibility.  It demonstrates that people have trust in you, which is an important attribute for a lawyer.

Again, the candidate’s written style lets her down.  It’s “pro bono”, not “probing”.  At best, this makes me think the candidate is careless.  At worst, I worry that the candidate’s quality of English is poor.  While law firms very much welcome international candidates, there is no flexibility in the quality of their written communication.]

Dear Graduate Recruitment,

As a penultimate-year student at [redacted Russell Group] University, I am writing to apply for a place on the Spring Vacation Scheme.

[Feedback: This is a good introduction. Although White & Case is very liberal with their word count, you should keep these opening remarks short. Your application form contains the necessary background information about yourself. Therefore, the introduction’s function is predominantly a pleasantry instead of a substantive part of the cover letter.

The candidate’s introductory sentence is a good model to follow. You should address the cover letter to the graduate recruitment team (or a specific person if the application form tells you to address them in particular). Then, you should state your year of study, your university and what scheme/training contract you are applying for.]

I undertook an internship at a local law firm in [Asian city] before university, in which I shadowed attorneys to both client meetings and court. The insight I received regarding the role of lawyers in both deals and disputes solidified my interest in commercial law. I want to help clients navigate complex legal matters, negotiate the terms of a contract, and resolve disputes that disrupt the daily operations of a company. I am more intrigued by the legal side of transactions rather than the financial advisory role of investment banks, as I believe well-drafted contracts lay the groundwork for a transaction to proceed seamlessly, dividing the risks and aligning the interests of the parties. A multi-jurisdictional competition law case study at Freshfields gave me insight into the work that international firms do. I prefer the work of international firms because their clients are larger multinational firms, and they engage in work involving multiple countries. The multi-jurisdictional element fascinates me as it adds complexity to a deal: lawyers need to co-operate with local counsel and ensure that their clients comply with the various regulations from different regions. Hence, I aspired to become a commercial lawyer at an international firm.

[Feedback: This first paragraph focuses on why the candidate wishes to be a commercial lawyer at an international firm. The candidate breaks down answering this question into its component parts:

1. Why the candidate wants to be a lawyer.

2. Why the candidate wants to be a commercial lawyer.

3. Why the candidate wants to work at an international law firm.

This is an excellent approach to follow. In a cover letter, you should address:

1. Why you want to be a commercial solicitor at an international law firm.

2. Why you are interested in working at this specific firm.

3. Why you are a good fit for the role.

The candidate begins by answering the first question. Overall, the answer is strong. The candidate systematically justifies their interest in commercial law, being a lawyer, and working at an international law firm. Notably, the candidate reflects on their experiences and explores why they are interested in something. For example, the candidate does not just claim that they are ‘more intrigued by the legal side of transactions rather than the financial advisory role of investment banks’; they justify that statement by explaining that they ‘believe well-drafted contracts lay the groundwork for a transaction to proceed seamlessly, dividing the risks and aligning the interests of the parties’. When you write your answers, you must focus on providing a complete argument. This means not only providing some examples or making broad claims but also explaining why those examples matter and why such claims are the case. The recruiter is assessing not only your answer's content but also your powers of argumentation and articulation. All solicitors require good written communication skills, so you should think of an application form as testing you on that too!

The candidate also does well in including some specific details in their answer. Whilst making a claim and explaining why that claim is the case is part of what makes a good answer, the best candidates will use personal examples to evidence their argument. For instance, this candidate cites their experience completing a case study at Freshfields as evidence of their interest in international work.

When you write your answers, it is best to use point, evidence, explanation/analysis, and link (‘PEEL’) structured paragraphs. If there are multiple subpoints in your answer (as in this candidate’s section), you only need to repeat the evidence and explanation elements for each subpoint. If you follow this structure, your answer may look something like this:

1. A point relating to wanting to be a commercial solicitor at an international law firm.

2. Evidence and explanation concerning being a solicitor.

3. Evidence and explanation concerning commercial law.

4. Evidence and explanation concerning international law firms.

5. Link the preceding discussion back to the point.

You may wish to do a PEEL structured paragraph for each subpoint. Whilst this would make for a watertight answer, we would caution that such an approach may be verbose and not permitted in the word limit. Even if there is no explicit word limit, law firms do not want to read reams of paper. You must also be concise where possible.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have included some more detail concerning their examples and been more explicit in their argumentation. Whilst the examples that the candidate has employed are good, they could be more detailed. For example, the candidate writes that they shadowed ‘attorneys to both client meetings and court’, which gave them an ‘insight […] regarding the role of lawyers in both deals and disputes solidified [their] interest in commercial law’. However, they do not explain how their shadowing experience gave them this insight. You must be wary of making leaps in your reasoning. You should spell out for the recruiter how your argument works. In this case, the candidate should have described a specific experience that they had during their time shadowing attorneys and what it was about that experience that piqued their interest in commercial law.

The candidate could have also bettered their response by adding some more specific examples. For instance, in the final sentences of their answer, the candidate discusses why international work is complex and, therefore, interesting to them. You should note that the candidate does not provide (beyond the Freshfields case study) any evidence that international work is complex. The candidate’s answer would have benefited from the inclusion of some evidence to substantiate that point. Additionally, the candidate claims that this added complexity appeals to them; however, they do not provide any evidence to prove that they are interested in complex things or that they are well-suited for complex work. You must remember to justify any and all claims you make with the requisite evidence and explanation of that evidence. A clear PEEL structure will help you achieve this.]

White & Case's distinct international element fully caters to my ambition to become a commercial lawyer, working on cross-border deals. The guaranteed international secondment would enable me to experience transactions in a different country. Having completed internships in four cities, I have experienced how people from different cultures undertake business activities. An international secondment would enable me to fully immerse myself in the business practices of another jurisdiction for an extended period of time, allowing me to build on my experiences and work better with overseas counsel. I am also interested in White & Case's emerging markets establishment from a business perspective. I spoke to corporate partner Ashley Ballard at the [redacted Russell Group] Careers Dinner and he informed me of an ongoing deal that involved the privatization of a department in the Saudi Arabian state. My business acumen, developed by my role as a strategic advisor to a start-up, allows me to appreciate the firm's advantage in the Middle East. With sovereign states in the region looking to privatize and divest its investments, the emerging markets practice will provide a good source of international work for the firm, elevating the international opportunities at White & Case that I want to be involved in as a trainee.

[Feedback: This paragraph focuses on the candidate’s motivation concerning joining White & Case. Specifically, the candidate focuses on White & Case’s guaranteed international secondment (and partially the firm’s Middle East practice). You should note that almost every candidate will discuss White & Case’s international secondment opportunity. This is understandable given that it is (1) an attractive trait and (2) a clear differentiating factor for the firm. Therefore, you must provide a personalised analysis to argue persuasively why you are well-suited to take advantage of the opportunity for a guaranteed international secondment.

The candidate does well by mentioning the benefits of an international secondment in the abstract and then explaining how they can capitalise on those benefits given their personal experience. The candidate explains that they already have significant international work experience, and this would allow them to (1) contribute better to the work that they would undertake on the secondment and (2) build upon their existing experience. You should notice that the answer is persuasive because it argues for a two-way relationship: the opportunity gives the candidate a chance to develop themselves and a chance for the candidate to provide their skills and experience to the firm.

The candidate goes on to discuss White & Case’s work concerning emerging markets, which is linked to what the candidate previously discussed (the common thread being international work). Crucially, the candidate provides specific evidence to substantiate their claim regarding the firm’s work. You should note how the candidate employs the name of one of the firm’s partners and touches on how they met. The candidate goes on to argue that the firm’s emerging markets practice will grow, adding to the international opportunities that the candidate wants to be a part of (the reasons for which the candidate already explained in the first half of their answer).

Overall, this is a strong answer. The discussion of the firm’s emerging markets practice might initially seem at odds with the candidate’s original discussion of the guaranteed international secondment. However, the candidate deftly links the latter discussion to the former under the overall argument concerning international opportunities and work.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise in some of their remarks. The candidate sometimes makes claims about their experiences or themselves without going into sufficient detail. If you add some additional information (in the form of facts or statistics), you will significantly improve your answer’s credibility, and it will be more persuasive overall. For example, the candidate writes, ' […] I have experienced how people from different cultures undertake business activities’. It would have been great to see the candidate give a short example that evidences this experience. The rephrased answer could look like this:

‘[…] I have experienced how people from different cultures undertake business activities. For example, when working at [insert organisation here] in [insert city/country here], I was involved with [insert work here], where I witnessed [insert information pertaining to work and culture]. This contrasted with my experience at [insert organisation here] in [insert city/country here] where [insert information pertaining to work and culture].’

Although this extends the length of the answer, it provides evidence for the candidate’s claim and better elucidates what the candidate is actually trying to communicate. This rephrasing is not limited to just this example; the same idea applies to where the candidate discusses their ‘role as a strategic advisor to a start-up’. When you cite examples, you must check whether they are appropriately elaborated on. A piece of work experience does not provide evidence for your claim; what you actually did in the role does.]

After my internship at a brokerage which gave me experience in equities trading, I became intrigued by the way in which companies raise funds through offerings in the equity and debt markets, developing an interest in capital markets. White & Case was awarded “Best Law Firm for Equity Capital Markets” in the EMEA region by GlobalCapital in 2020. Training at White & Case would enable me to work with investment bank underwriters on the biggest IPOs, taking full advantage of the firm's strategic expansion of its equity capital markets capabilities over the last few years. I also developed an interest in private equity after an internship at a technology company backed by growth capital. A seat in private equity would allow me to explore my interest in depth. I spoke to Fergus Langstaff at the [redacted Russell Group university] Law Fair regarding his seat in private equity, who told me that supervisors allocate as much responsibility as possible to trainees there. This would enable me to further my fascination for the industry, using my enthusiasm to learn through responsibility.

[Feedback: In this paragraph, the candidate focuses on linking their personal work experiences to the firm’s specialisms, specifically in capital markets and private equity. The candidate does well to rely on their previous work experience to justify their interests in the mentioned practice areas. Many candidates often claim to be interested in a particular practice area but struggle to provide substantial evidence for their claim. Once again, you should look to follow a PEEL structure:

1. Your point is that you are interested in a particular practice area.

2. You must then provide evidence for your interest. You should cite courses you have completed, books you have read and work experience you have undertaken.

3. You should then explain your evidence. Elaborate on what you did and how the experience piqued your interest in the practice area. The best candidates will then go on to explain what they did to further build on that interest.

4. Finally, you need to link your answer back to the overall argument. You should explain why joining the firm would help you further develop your interest in the practice area. The best candidates will also indicate why they would be a valuable asset in that particular practice area’s department.

Furthermore, the candidate does well to include specific evidence in their answer. You should observe how the candidate uses names and statistics to bolster their argument. For instance, the candidate names Fergus Langstaff, currently an associate at the firm, and cites their discussion as evidence for one of their claims. The candidate also references an award that the firm won in 2020. These pieces of evidence are crucial. Without them, the candidate could be talking about any large US firm.

To avoid writing a vague answer, read through your response and cover up any mention of the firm’s name. If the answer could apply to any other firm, your answer is too generic. In this instance, the candidate’s response passes this test: White & Case was the only one to be awarded that particular award that year, and Fergus Langstaff is a solicitor at White & Case, not anywhere else.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have been more precise with their argumentation. The candidate could have focused more on drawing out what exactly they did as part of their experiences. For instance, the candidate says they had an ‘internship at a brokerage which gave [them] experience in equities trading’. However, they fail to elaborate on what exactly they did that meant that they ‘became intrigued by the way in which companies raise funds through offerings in the equity and debt markets, developing an interest in capital markets’. Once again, you should remember that having a piece of work experience per se does not prove anything – it is the work you do that serves as evidence for your claims.

You should note that in this particular paragraph, the candidate does not give any evidence for their suitability to take on additional responsibility (they merely make such a claim). However, they do provide some evidence and explanation in the paragraph below. ]

Taking on additional responsibility as a trainee requires time management skills, on top of the organizational skills needed to liaise with overseas counsel and complete deal checklists. This year, I became a legal and strategic advisor to a start-up, while continuing my part-time job in a coffee shop. Occasionally, the deadlines I have to meet regarding my drafting tasks for the start-up clashes with my academic and work commitments. My organizational and time management skills have allowed me to balance my responsibilities, ensuring that I complete my work on time and to the best of my ability.

[Feedback: In this section, the candidate expands on the idea they ended the last paragraph with: additional responsibility.

The candidate does well to demonstrate their knowledge of what taking on additional responsibility actually entails. Candidates often make grand claims about themselves, stating that they thrive in competitive environments and love to take on additional responsibility. However, these candidates very rarely go into detail as to what skills they have that allow them to perform in such conditions. Hence, the candidate’s answer is good precisely because it does identify the competencies necessary for taking on additional responsibility (something they said they wanted to do in their previous paragraph).

The candidate then attempts to provide some evidence of their time management and general organisational skills. The argument is that, by the candidate demonstrating that they have such skills, they are fit to take on additional responsibility. In showing that they are fit to take on such responsibility, they prove the claim they made at the end of their last paragraph. You should note the sophisticated structure of the candidate’s structure and argumentation. The best candidates will find a way to have each section naturally flow onto the next and still maintain a cohesive argument.

The candidate’s answer could be improved by, once again, giving a further example in relation to their evidence. For instance, the candidate writes that ‘the deadlines I have to meet regarding my drafting tasks for the start-up clashes with my academic and work commitments’ and that this requires the employment of their ‘organizational and time management skills’. However, the candidate should have provided an example of when their deadlines have clashed and what they did to resolve such a clash (namely, an example of what the employment of their organisational skills looks like in practice).

Finally, the candidate could have provided an extra ‘link’ sentence at the end of the section. You should never forget to relate your discussion back to the question at hand. In this instance, the candidate should have explained how their skills would allow them to take on the additional responsibility given by the firm to its trainees, for example, in its private equity practice.]

Another piece of insight from Fergus, who had experience working with Saudi Arabian clients, is that these clients have strict expectations and accept only the best work. My experience in customer services, in which I calmly dealt with client complaints while directing matters out of my expertise to more experienced colleagues, would allow me to work effectively with both clients and lawyers. As a senior member of my tennis team in high school, I had the responsibility to integrate the younger members of our team and foster a system of support conducive to the mental development of these youngsters. Communicating and working with them on and off the court, I was able to bring my team to a third-place finish in an overseas tournament, which was a massive achievement for a young team. I plan to bring these skills to my legal career and build lasting relationships with both clients and colleagues.

[Feedback: The candidate continues the flow of their answer by calling back to their conversation with Fergus Langstaff. We would advise against calling a firm’s employees by their first name as it can be too informal. If in doubt, you can simply write their name in full.

The candidate does well to discuss their suitability for the role of a trainee solicitor. The discussion focuses on the candidate's competencies and how that would allow them to perform at the firm. You should notice how the answer leads with a clear point followed up with the introduction and discussion of a piece of evidence. This is especially good with respect to the candidate’s tennis example: the candidate does not simply write that they had such an experience; they also go into some detail as to what that experience entailed for them.

Whilst, as with other paragraphs, the candidate could have been more detailed, the central point of improvement for this answer is the candidate’s argumentation. When you write your responses, you must ensure that the thread of your argument is “visible” throughout. This means that the recruiter should be aware of what you are arguing for in each part of your answer and that the argument is cohesive.

In this instance, the candidate begins the paragraph by discussing the importance of achieving ‘the best work’. They follow this thread into their example regarding customer services; however, the argument begins to veer when discussing their tennis example. Whilst the example may be relevant, the candidate does not link their explanation of it back to the argument at hand as they finish with the vague statement that they ‘plan to bring these skills to my legal career and build lasting relationships with both clients and colleagues’.

You must remember to link your example and explanation sections back to your point. Here, the candidate needed to explain how their ability to build relationships with clients and colleagues would allow them to produce the best work for, for example, Saudi Arabian clients. If you fail to provide these links, you risk the recruiter getting lost in your answer and becoming confused with respect to precisely what you are trying to argue.]

The inclusive culture I experienced at the [redacted Russell Group university] Careers Dinner is one that I would like to be a part of. I was surprised when Patrick Burrows, a trainee I briefly spoke to at the Bright Network Careers Fair, remembered my name a few months later at the dinner, given that he spoke to so many other eager aspiring lawyers at the fair. My ability to connect with others, enhanced by my part-time job at a coffee shop in which I socialize with the student customers while serving their orders, would complement the inclusive culture at White & Case.

[Feedback: The final substantive paragraph of the candidate’s cover letter addresses the firm’s culture. This is a topic that, whilst it is brought up by many candidates, is notoriously difficult to discuss appropriately.

The candidate does well to cite a specific encounter they had with one of the firm’s trainees. Culture is a difficult thing to pin down and evidence. The best proof of a firm’s culture is its employees’ testimonies. Hence, if you are discussing a firm’s culture, you should speak to at least one of the firm’s trainees, associates, or partners to get first-hand evidence for your claims. The best candidates will not only name the individual(s) they spoke to but also provide quotes of what they said, where appropriate.

To improve this answer, the candidate could have elaborated further on what they mean by an ‘inclusive culture’ and what their conversation with Patrick Burrows had to with it. Inclusivity typically refers to the practice of providing equal opportunities to historically underrepresented groups of people. Hence, it is not wholly clear how a trainee remembering the candidate’s name links in with the candidate’s original point. Clearly, it was nice of the trainee to remember the candidate’s name; however, it is unclear what this evidences about the wider firm.

Furthermore, the candidate could have expounded upon how they would use their socialising skills at the firm to foster the firm’s inclusive culture. You should be wary of saying that you have a specific skill and that this skill would be of use to the firm. You should instead do the following:

1. Claim you have a skill.

2. Evidence of your claim.

3. Explain how your evidence demonstrates your claim.

4. Explain how you would employ that skill at the firm.

Note that this is another PEEL structured answer – the ‘claim’ is your point, and the fourth bullet point is your ‘link’ section.]

With my interest in the firm's practices, training system, and culture, coupled with the skills I can bring as a trainee, I would like to be considered for a place on the Spring Vacation Scheme.

[Feedback: This is a professional and straightforward way to bring the cover letter to a close. The candidate nicely summarises the key topics (work, training, and culture) that they have discussed. If there is a word count and that poses a problem for you due to the length of your answer, you may choose to skip this. However, we feel this is a nice conclusion and leaves the recruiter with a good impression. Hence, if you have the space to include a small section such as this one, we recommend you do so.]

Yours sincerely,

Cover letter

Dear Mrs Roche,

Feedback:  We recommend addressing your cover letter to the graduate recruitment team as a whole rather than a particular individual therein unless the firm expressly directs you to do so; unlike Farrer & Co, Slaughter and May expressly directs candidates to address their cover letters to Janine Arnold, Head of Trainee Recruitment. At the same time, we recommend using “Ms” instead of “Mrs” or “Miss” if you are ultimately addressing your cover letter to a female individual within the graduate recruitment team because it is a neutral title in terms of her age and marital status.

Thank you for considering my application to Farrer & Co (Farrer). I am excited at the prospect of joining a firm that combines its historic reputation and progressive outlook, offering varied, interesting work across a diverse mix of practice areas.

Feedback:  Given that Farrer & Co claims to operate a “semi-blind recruitment process”, the candidate does well to omit any mention of their university and their grades/ degree classification in the introduction to their cover letter, as per the directions provided by the firm within its recruitment materials. To take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have introduced their cover letter as follows: “I am writing to apply for a place on the winter/spring/summer vacation scheme hosted by Farrer & Co (Farrer)”; in doing so, they would have maximised their use of the allocated word limit by avoiding superfluous and/or ambiguous statements (e.g., the phrase “a firm that combines its historic reputation and progressive outlook” could conceivably be used to describe any of the Magic Circle firms) and allowed themselves breathing room to express their motivation for applying to the firm in more detail infra.

From the international, commercial setting of Memery Crystal, to the collaborative, private client work at Taylor Rose MW, my insights into various legal environments have motivated me to pursue a career as a solicitor. Whilst I thrived in the former's high-intensity, dynamic context, the latter confirmed that I work best in a team and find the tangible nature of private client work particularly engaging.

Feedback:  Within its recruitment materials, Farrer & Co directs candidates to explain their interest in law, their motivation for becoming a solicitor “rather than a barrister, for example”, as well as their motivation for applying to the firm. To ensure that your cover letter is comprehensive, we recommend tackling all of the aforementioned points therein.

The candidate does well to explain their motivation for becoming a solicitor through the lens of their previous work experience within the legal field because it lends credibility to their answer and it highlights their dedication to the aforementioned career path. For emphasis, the candidate could have contrasted the prospect of becoming a solicitor with that of becoming a barrister, an investment banker, or a consultant, though this is a relatively minor point. The candidate could have also provided a succinct explanation as to their interest in or fascination with the law per se; for instance, they could have explained what prompted them to pursue a law degree and/or to undertake work experience within the legal field as opposed to anything else.

Farrer's combination of corporate and private client practices greatly appeals to me. I would like to join a firm that advises its clients on personal matters alongside their business affairs, where I will be challenged with placing an individual's concerns within the broader commercial landscape, whilst maintaining their trust and confidence. Hence, I am attracted to the integrated nature of Farrer's practice areas and multidisciplinary approach to training, through its distinctive six seat system.

Feedback:  The candidate does well to explain their motivation for applying to Farrer & Co through the lens of the particular kind of work undertaken by the firm; in doing so, they showcase their research into the firm, as well as their understanding of the firm’s business. To illustrate their explanation, the candidate could have provided examples of the firm’s clients or previous projects, as well as examples of any accolades received by the firm for its work. Moreover, the candidate could have explained why the prospect of undertaking a “multidisciplinary” six-seat training contract with the firm appeals to them rather than simply stating that it does.

Furthermore, it is clear that interpersonal competence is essential to the skillset of a Farrer's lawyer; I admire the emphasis placed on integrity when handling client matters. I developed the ability to communicate with clarity and sensibility, engaging in charity work: distributing food to [redacted university city]'s homeless community with Neighbourly, required me to respond to a vulnerable, uncooperative group, remaining patient and pragmatic. I feel confident that my intuitive and adaptable nature make me well-suited to assisting Farrer's impressive clientele. Additionally, I am inspired by the firm's insistence on partnership and my cooperative skills would equip me to effectively collaborate within ambitious teams. Being especially drawn to Farrer's work with not-for-profit organisations and philanthropists, I hope to work with some of the UK’s leading experts on charity law.

Feedback: Although Farrer & Co does not expressly direct candidates to explain their suitability to the firm, the candidate does well to include such an explanation within their cover letter because it boosts the strength of their application. They argue that they possess effective interpersonal skills as well as effective teamwork skills, both of which are essential to the pursuit of a career in commercial law. However, they do not fully substantiate their argument, as they only provide an illustrative personal insight in support of their claim that they possess effective interpersonal skills, namely their previous engagement in charity work. To increase the credibility of their answer, the candidate could have provided such a personal insight in support of their claim that they possess effective teamwork skills rather than simply stating that “[their] cooperative skills would equip [them] to effectively collaborate with ambitious teams”. Nonetheless, they do well to link their previous engagement in charity work back to Farrer & Co’s market-leading expertise in charity law because it further emphasises their suitability to the firm and it showcases their research into the firm. Finally, to take their answer to the next level, the candidate could have argued that they possess the skills, attributes and qualities that Farrer & Co claims to look for in its future joiners within its recruitment materials; these include ambition, commercial awareness, discretion, clear and agile thinking, open-mindedness, resilience and analytical ability.

Farrer's regard for excellence, across its high quality work, client service and commitment to trainees, have motivated me to apply. I would be grateful to attend a Vacation Scheme to gain a real insight into the firm.

Feedback: Echoing the comments made in relation to the introductory paragraph, the candidate could have simply concluded their cover letter as follows: “Thank you for your kind consideration”.

Yours sincerely,

[redacted candidate]